Tag: life

A Past Long Forgotten, The Dangers of Compartmentalization

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A Past Long Forgotten, The Dangers of Compartmentalization

I’m sure most people have had at least one trauma in their life that sticks with them, if not more than one. If you’re like me, the Devil just loves to stick around and try to make life a tad harder than it needs to be. One thing I’ve noticed is the minute changes that come about after every trauma takes place. When you’ve become so consumed with the trauma that you are forced to find anyway you can handle it, a common way for kids to handle, or at least myself was compartmentalization. When it comes to trauma big and small this is a safe way to handle it in the moment. However, if not revisited this method of handling can be very dangerous. Websters defines compartmentalized as “to separate into isolated compartments or categories” In many cases this is the event, and the emotion surrounding the event and are stored inside the brain as separate memory engrames. Once the memory is separated it’s difficult to reconnect the two, and it’s more so when the laps of time is greater. So what happens when you do this throughout a lifetime, say, 30 years? Lets think of memories as boxes, now think about each box as a memory, but the painful ones divide into two boxes and sit them on the shelf in the closet. Over time that closet is going to start to get full. When the closet reaches a certain point, all it takes is one massive event, and everything in that closet can come bursting down on top of you burying you in all the negative feelings you tried so hard to subdue or hide. So now you are lying on the floor, you have boxes everywhere, the emotions are like a zoo full of escaped wild animals, how do you plan on wrangling them up, and putting them back? The truth is, you don’t. The time at this point has past and now a new way of storing them is needed.

Often times when the emotions from traumas are released in such an uncontrolled manner the outcome is less than desirable. The effects can be quite frankly catastrophic. Often we see this as the beginning to self-destruction. An individual can go through several possible outcomes to include, self harm, harming others, drugs or substance abuse, addictions of other kinds such as work, gambling, adrenalin seekers, or other forms of risky behaviors. This is the common way for someone who’s accidently had Pandora’s box opened who didn’t have the right guidance to handle it. People don’t usually ask for the box to be pried open, sadly, it’s just one of life’s unfortunate circumstances. The key, once it’s opened is to know what to expect, and hopefully have someone around who can help guide you through the path of recovery. There are 4 basic paths to dealing with trauma. They can be found and studied here.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200111/recovering-trauma

The example that best correlates with compartmentalization is the Tsunamis. During the time you have lived on by not feeling, as it’s described in the Psychology Today article your nervous system is a circuit bored and in the event of a catastrophic traumatic event your system shuts down. There’s a dangerous time frame here between the event, and the waters receding. It’s in that short period of time that some will fall into the self-harm stage. It happens so fast that spectators rarely realize there’s a problem until it’s too late.

The truth is, as a Christian nation it needs to be better about standing with our brothers and sisters in times of great struggle. It’s sometimes hard to do especially when we don’t always know or understand the nature of what’s going on underneath the water. Some people, myself included often look like a duck on a pond. Floating around, no cares in the world, however if you look under the water, those little flipper feet are going a mile a minute. The iceburg is much larger underneath than what we see on the surface. Since we never know someone’s breaking point we must assume that during events that are hard to handle we look at them objectively and try to remain unbiased. A few life changing events that some would seem as bad things but not traumas are what we will look at for a moment. Loosing your job, loosing a spouse to either death or an unwanted divorce, loosing a loved one, car accidents, and sometimes slightly worse events. These things to some people may seem horrible, but to others, they can be the straw to break the camels back. As that may often be the case it’s better to error on the side of caution and overly loving in the hopes there are no residual feelings that could move this into a catastrophic event.

The dangers of being wrong: What if your friend or spouse goes through one of these events and notices you aren’t there for them, or you downplay how they are feeling. If we don’t show them that we care, and if we pass a negative judgment on their situation we may actually be contributing to the further decline of their mental stability. It’s important to always try and be supportive. We all handle situations and stress differently based on the culmination of our backgrounds and what we’ve learned in the past. If you are a young man and you get harassed every day by the police, eventually you will grow to fear them, hate them, avoid them, even though they are only there to help, the behavior is a learned trait. If you are bullied your whole life and you grow up and have self-esteem issues, self loathing, fear of rejection, or abandonment, those fears, those traits are learned traits. They come from a lifetime of experiences that tells us how the world is, even if it’s only our version of the truth. Getting back to the point, when bad things happen, we don’t honestly know how someone will react. That’s why it’s so important to follow Galatians 6:2 “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” We shouldn’t hesitate to help even with the small stuff. Show compassion and be there if someone needs you. Ephesians 4:32 “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” We’ve been given such grace and love and forgiveness by God we are asked to pass that along to our fellow brothers and sisters of humanity. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.”

If you’re struggling through tough times, if you have old trauma’s that are weighing you down, or if you just feel you need to talk, seek out Godly and or professional advice. Don’t try to get through this life on your own. There’s no shame in asking for help. Not asking for help is prideful, arrogant, and perhaps even a hair selfish. By not dealing with the issue when it’s small, it can grow inside you like a cancer, spreading throughout your thoughts and feelings, until one day it’s beyond repair. Seek help, trust in the Lord that you will be watched over no matter how light, or heavy the storm is.

Where In The World Is God?

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Where In The World Is God?

Some of you, perhaps dating my age a bit, are familiar with the books, game and show, “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego”. The idea of the game was as a new gumshoe you had to follow the clues around the world to locate the master thief Carmen Sandiego. This took both skill and mindfullness to track down this master theif all over the world. You had to know your stuff. The show was designed for the ages of 10-14. So, if you’re up to it where going to answer the question, where in the world is God?

Alright gumshoe listen up. God is somewhere out there and He’s waiting for you. Your mission is to follow the clues and find God before the time runs out. I hope you’re ready for this because if you loose it could be your eternal soul.

Your whole life you can live and not have the answer to one of the few great questions of all time. The first and most important question, “Is there a God?” The short answer is of course there is. The hard part is trying to prove it. We of course can get into a full-fledged apologetics debate, a full-fledged theology debate, but the fact remains it is the opinion of this Blog that God not only lives, but also loves us and never leaves our side.

Do you remember when you were a kid and you’d wait all year to send your letter to Santa Claus? Do you remember when Christmas morning arrived and all the presents were under the tree? How the mind of a child works, the faith that something or someone is real without ever having any kind of tangible truth. Children play together of different races, ethnicities, sexes, and mange to get along just fine without the help of us adults. Where does that love and wonder go as they get older? The world is a dangerous place for not only your body, but also for your mind and your soul. The world will tell you to question what you’ve learned, tell you to unlearn, tell you to broden your mind, and to close your mind. The world wants to shape you in it’s image. It wants to teach you and unteach you at the same time. If you have a particular mindset the world will tell you it’s wrong, and will try to force you to change, sometimes by force. Where is God in all of this?

God knowing how the world would treat His children came up with a plan. The plan was to love us, guide us, diciplin us, and give us a tool to live by. The Bible says many things about the world, and the lust of the flesh and the lust of the world itself. We love violence, we thrive on debauchery. The things that make us feel good are also the things that are the biggest lies. Morpheus “The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work… when you go to church… when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.” God is always with us. God surrounds us, and comforts us when we are in need, when we ask for Him. We know there is so much wrong with the world, but do we ever truly understand why? The world is a fallen world, one of Sin, and that sin is what causes broken homes, war, poverty, hatred, crime, and loss. The feeling that something is wrong is no different than knowing something was wrong in the Matrix. Morpheus: “What you know you can’t explain, but you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.” The world is divided up into two categories, those saved, and those unsaved. Those who are unsaved are not the enemy, but they will try to sued you from your faith. The Devil will use anyone He can throw into your path to pull you away from Christ. In that, if the ‘system’ is the world, and the saved are those unplugged then you can see how if there was one being looking over all the world God would be everywhere, all at once. Morpheus: “The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you’re inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.”

The argument that if there were a loving God that there would be no pain which is false. I say without hardships you never find your true potential. I believe that without reward there is no purpose to try. If there is nothing after this life and we just end, then why obey mans laws? Without some form of higher moral code, then the code of man is worthless. Why not just take what you want, do what you want, and enjoy the fruits of all your evil wicked ways. If there is nothing to hold us accountable then why do anything at all. God didn’t create slaves, He created humans to have a relationship with us, and with that gave us free will, and thus not making us slaves to his will. We have the choice to follow or not. We can see in the world the battle of good and evil everywhere we turn. Every time we see good, every time we see empathy, we know that God is alive and with us and on the move. We see the world through tinted glasses and we but only follow Christ and we can see a bit more clearly. When we see the transformation in those people who become saved the difference is astounding. There is a noticeable difference in the human condition. We have seen miracles in this world even if they are few and far between. If we examine the actual evidence and set aside any preconceived notions we may hold, the evidence is fairly conclusive. Some skeptics will argue forever, and some of the leading scientists will argue the contrary that humanity is a random convergence and nothing more. The existence of Christ is not in question. There is enough evidence to prove he lived, the question then is was he the Son of God? When you break down what we know of examining cold cases such as the well-known Cold Case investigator J. Warner Wallace we find that the eyewitness accounts of Jesus’ resurrection and His prior miracles are not likely to be a fabrication. First and foremost that many people who lived and died vowing that Christ rose from the dead is unlikely that a group that size would be able to keep a conspiracy alive that long. Each of them died horribly and under extreme stresses and knowing they were going to die if they didn’t recant their statements died for the truth.

Further more those who claim the Bible contradicts itself because the authors don’t seem to mention the exact same things in their accounts as the others just don’t understand the nature of eye-witness accounts. This too is something you would see from different witness perspectives. Don’t believe me, that’s fine, read a book. The point is, God is everywhere. God is always with us, and we only need to ask and God will save us. The bills been paid and all we have to do is believe and follow. It’s not always the easiest of things to do, but it certainly beats the alternative of being tortured nearly to death by the most brutal means imaginable, and then forced to drag a piece of wood a mile or so to your own place of death, then while bleeding, while thirsty, while exhausted being nailed hands and feet to a thick wooden cross, lifted up and as your body starts to pull down with your arms spread you begin to asphyxiate. You will either die from blood loss or asphyxiating, and if that doesn’t happen before your set time, they break your legs so you can no longer hold your own weight, and you die shortly thereafter. This doesn’t sound like a fun experience to me. If what suffering I’ll go through in this life is to build my character and suffer even just a little as Christ suffered, then I’d gladly take my end over Christ’s. John 5:24 “Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.” The sacrifice was paid for us. We will never have deserved it, but we have it never the less. Matthew 24:11-13 “11 And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many. 12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold. 13 But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.” There will be many false prophets you will encounter in the world of men. They will get you to walk away from what you really want. They will get you to buy into their schemes like used car salesman’s using misdirection, flashy terms, sweet talking, and when all else fails, bold face lies.

Remember that God is everywhere and the love is endless. Don’t give up hope, and never give up the faith. Remember those still plugged in are part of the system and that system is designed to keep you a slave. The Devil wants to keep you plugged in, draining the life from you, growing stronger the more souls he steals from the Lord. The end of the war is foretold, what side do you want to be on?

 

The Smallest Gestures

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The Smallest Gestures

Walking through the mall minding my own business I was aware of my surroundings. I could see the looks on people’s faces to get to where they had to go, to shop their little hearts out. Christmas was coming and everyone was focused on the task at had. Me on the other hand I was focused on making sure they stayed safe. I was hyper stimulated to remain vigilant. Nothing was going to happen in my mall as long as I had a say in it. I could see the child in front of me as I walked up on the family. The mother smiled as I approached. Her child stepped out in front of me and put her arms wide open. I knelt down and allowed her to hug me. “Thank you for keeping us safe.” The little girl said. I hugged her back and said it was my pleasure. I told her Merry Christmas. I looked up at the mother who said thank you. She grabbed the little girls hand and went along their way. I carried on my day, a little brighter then I had before. A small gesture of kindness from a small person reminded me you don’t have to be big or do big things to make an impact.

The small gestures or acts of kindness are fleeting from our society, or at least that’s the way it looks from this bloggers perspective. If you hold the door for someone, how many people will thank you for it? Now this is a tough test because some cities have a more hospitable nature then others. The other day I was at church. I was standing there during the invitation (it’s a Baptist church) and as I looked up my best friend and associate pastor was walking towards me. He put his arm around me and began to pray for me. At first I didn’t question it I just listened to his prayer for me. This was highly unusual, but the thought and sentiment behind it nearly took my breath away. I was trying to hold back tears. What a wonderful sign of affection. Husbands that bring home flowers, or the wife that make breakfast in bed. The notes that loved ones share in each other’s lunch boxes, all these things are the smallest gestures that can go a long way.

These days as there is so much hate in the world, now after two terrorist attacks in the UK in these many weeks, Love it seems is more important than ever. Luke 12:7 “Why, even the hairs on your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” When you think about this verse and find that the author is saying one single hair on your head is so valuable it’s worth more then several birds. If God finds our presence that valuable then so shall it be. If the big things we do in the name of Christ is that important imagine that all of the smallest acts of kindness and love are also important. A smile, a hug, a phone call, or even just a message to tell a friend you are thinking of them and care. These small things can mean the world to someone in need. Believe that if everyone was so busy with their life to do these small things very little would actually get done. “The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.” Oscar Wilde The slightest gesture of love may go a long way to provide hope that otherwise wasn’t there. We don’t need to wear capes to be a hero. We don’t have to fight off an entire army, or cure a rampant plague, in the words of Christopher Reeve, “I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” Every day we are able to look beyond ourselves. Every day that we think to lift up those around us by even the smallest acts of kindness we could be a hero to them. What may seem small to us may be huge to them. We can’t judge what is going on inside of someone else. Asking to pray for someone in time of need, giving a firm hug, or even just a text to say hello may be enough. “One thing I’ve learnt about humans: you can’t judge their strengths by the size of their actions, but by the devotion of an act, no matter how small.” Dianna Hardy

 Last year I was in the hospital for a few weeks. Just a couple days after getting admitted I woke to someone coming in and telling me I had visitors. I expected it to be someone from the church but the truth was 10 of my friends, brothers and sisters, colleagues from the military from all over the country where standing around my bed side. The overwhelming feelings of joy, sadness, shame, guilt, but above all hope, kept coming and coming. I was loved and I was being shown it. I was being shown how my friends thought of me, and what they would do to make sure I was okay. My faith and hope in people was renewed that day. I was lifted up and shown the goodness that can still be in others. Since then I have found the smallest of gestures make a big impact on me. Those impacts resonate now at a much higher level then they used to. There are two quotes that I’m reminded of. “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, and honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia. The last is “There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” Edith Wharton.

It’s not hard to let someone cut in, in traffic. It’s not hard to hold the elevator or the door. It’s not hard to tell someone they look nice. It doesn’t take much time to send an uplifting text to a friend you haven’t heard from in a while. In this day in time we have so many ways to communicate, and do nice things why do we let slip the opportunities to show Gods grace to all. 1 John 3:18 “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”

In the Bible there are countless stories about small random acts of kindness that led to huge events. Rebekah watered a strangers camel’s and ended up being the mother of Jacob entering the lineage of Christ. Ester’s kindness to the King, which ended up playing a roll in saving her people, and David’s act of taking his brothers food to the front lines, this is where he fights Goliath. These small things, almost insignificant at first glance wouldn’t have made most people stop and think, but put them in the right place to make huge impacts on the lives of those around them. What little things can you do day to day that can make drastic change? You certainly won’t know until you start, and let history decide the rest.

Behind The Eyes

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Behind The Eyes

The eyes as they say are the windows to the soul. We tell others our favorite things are peoples eyes, the beauty in the differences, the unique, the colors, the softness, or hardness as they are shaped by the chapters we face and overcome albeit good or bad. Do we ever look deep enough to see the pain hidden deep down in someone’s soul? Do we ever learn to look beyond our own pain and suffering to see it in others? The cold suffering hidden behind the eyes, one of fear, one of hopelessness, do we see it and ignore it? Behind the eyes is the doorway to discover someone’s joy, someone’s fears, or the sorrow. I recently had someone tell me I looked so happy in a photo I took. I was surprised to say the least. I took the photo because that’s what I do, I send selfies to the people I’m talking to. It makes the conversation a little less faceless. In the photo however I felt horrible. I felt miserable, and I had to force the smile from the stiff upper lip I’ve been supporting for months. The pain didn’t show through, or did it, and the untrained eye didn’t see it in my eyes?

Matthew 6:22-23 “The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. 23 But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!” In my own photo I realized it was the untrained eye that didn’t see it, or didn’t want to see it. We move along in our lives and we have either gotten so good at hiding how we feel, the pain were going through, or we’ve gotten so skilled at only focusing on ourselves we just can’t get beyond our own self. God sees all the pain in the entire world. Imagine that for a moment that you can see, you can feel all the suffering of the world. If you had even a hint of empathy could you imagine your heart breaking?

We couldn’t imagine the burdens people are carrying. We can’t ever fathom the pain raging deep inside someone’s heart. The only truth is those burdens for many are nearly more then they can carry alone. When we truly learn to see those in danger should we not reach down and find the empathy that we has as a society lost, yes, yes we should. Jesus never turned someone away who was in need, no one who was suffering. He provided hope and love, and empathy for those in need. We need to learn to open our eyes and our hearts to see the world, to see that we can touch a single soul by our kindness and generosity of love.

Give Me Your Eyes, Brandon Heath

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see,
Everything that I keep missing,
Give your love for humanity.
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten.
Give me Your eyes so I can see.

Save My Life, Sidewalk Prophets

If you looked me right in the eye
Would see the pain deep inside
Would you take the time to

Tell me what I need to hear
Tell me that I’m not forgotten
Show me there’s a God
Who can be more than all I’ve ever wanted
‘Cause right now I need a little hope
I need to know that I’m not alone
Maybe God is calling you tonight
To tell me something
That might save my life

 We can never know how important we are to someone else. Every encounter even small can have a lasting impression. The song Save My Life by the Sidewalk Prophets touches on this. Would we take just a little longer to talk to someone at the store, or at our job, or even in our own church? If you knew that those fleeting moments could be the difference between life and death for someone, would that change your perspective? Just about everyone I think would say they would spend a little more time if they, or had they known. I’m a firm believer that suicide just doesn’t happen in a split second. The person in pain has been in pain for a while and perhaps had very few people to lean on or trust with their pain. Look deep inside someone and embrace every chance we get with people. You never know, you might just save a life and not even know it.

We all need Christ in our lives. We unfortunately don’t have Christ physically with us, but if we need hope, if we need the love we have something powerful, we have the Holy Spirit. Christ told the disciples to go forth and baptize all the nations. If we are walking in the shadow of Christ we have the power to make that change. We can save a life by just showing a little love. We can save a life by just extending a hand in friendship. If we spread the love of Christ to the world we can touch millions. If Christians actually wept for those in need, if Christians actually saw and felt for those in pain and tried to help heal the pain as Christ had, how many lives could we affect change to, the implications would be more then any of us could fathom. “I want a second glace, so give me a second chance, to see the way you see the people all alone.” We only get one chance sometimes to make a difference. If we look at every opportunity as a chance to change the world we can because we have the Holy Spirit with us. The world is in such chaos and turmoil we can bring a little hope back to it. God has blessed us with boundless love and hope. Why we don’t spread that love to others is beyond me. Is it uncomfortable sure, but Jesus was well versed in making people uncomfortable. Jesus led his people his friends, his disciples into Samaria and then once there sent them out on their own. God uses the weak and the broken as his warriors. They say that when you are hurting you can heal if you pour yourself into helping others who are hurting just like you. Everyone’s a sinner just like you and me, everyone’s going through something and God put you in their life for a reason. If we consider every life we encounter isn’t an accident, but by design, how we act towards them could be life altering. Open your heart to see the good you can do.

Lord give me the sight to see the pain behind others eyes.

Lord give me the strength to get beyond my own pain.

Lord give me what I need to touch the lives of those around me.

Lord give me the courage to step out of the boat and out of my comfort zone.

Lord give me the eyes to see. Give me the love you’ve held onto me.

 

The End of The Road

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The End of The Road

I recently found myself in a tough spot, to try and make it in the house I’m living in which is my house, or move out, let it sit empty while on the market, hope it sells quick, and in the mean time find any place I can to lay my head at night. I suppose the house is the last remnant of my old life, the last vestige of a life that fell to ruin. As I packed the house I found myself feeling intense emotions. I felt hurt, and broken, I felt anger, and sorrow. How could this have happened, and more importantly how did it happen to me twice? I suppose I’ll never get a reason for all of this. I suppose the reason is only for a sense of closure and not really all that important. When we find ourselves at the end of a road where do we go, where do we turn? I wish I had an answer, but I truly don’t. Proverbs 14:12 “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” We always want to do things our way, walk our path the way we want to. The incontrovertible truth is we won’t get very far, except to the end of the road. Proverbs 22:3 “A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.” We may not always see the danger coming. Sometimes we are blind sided by it but those are the times we must put our faith and trust in the Lord.

When we feel as if every turn in the labyrinth we travel is one dead end after another we have to ask ourselves if we are following the road God has planned for us. Psalm 32:8 “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” God promises to help us in our walk. The question is do we trust in the Lord when we can’t always see through the fog? Do we truly follow Proverbs 3:5-6? “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” I find that many people struggle with understanding the meaning of some of the scripture used to help guide. Many people I think want to try and use scripture like Jeremiah 29:11 to show that God is responsible for evil things. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you future and a hope.” If God promises hope, and peace why do we struggle so much? It’s the big picture we are missing. It isn’t about the short-term struggles we have, it’s about the peace and joy of an everlasting life. If Christ suffered as the sacrificial lamb and he was without sin, then we sinners certainly won’t be so lucky. Our hope comes from the knowledge that our suffering in this life won’t be for nothing.

One thing we as a fallen people try to do is, when we get to the end of that road and are faced with that brick wall, we often try to dig through it, force our way through regardless of the fact that the wall was placed there as a deterrent by God. We by nature are stubborn, and we want what we want. Sadly when our road comes to an end, we have to find the new road God wants us on. That’s never an easy task, but we don’t usually get a say so in the matter. Finding yourself at the end of the road can be stressful. When we don’t know where to turn, or find ourselves facing that wall by surprise, finding a new way can be difficult. Having faith is hard, but having a strong enough faith to not let life beat you down can be even harder. When we face the end of the road we have to believe there’s a purpose for it, and a purpose for us. Psalm 23:3 “He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” Listen for the Holy Spirit and follow the path you are being guided to. Have faith and trust in the Lord. Matthew 17:20 “He (Jesus) said to them, ‘Because of yoru little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” This parable shows that a mustard seed when it starts off is small, but as it grows it does so into a huge tree. Again it’s about the journey, and the time it takes to get from point A to B, not something that happens over night. We will all face our own sets of brick walls here and there, however the disappointment can’t consume us when the wall shows up in our path. Don’t despair and don’t give up. When we truly open our eyes we see that we have the whole world in front of us.

 

Lian Yu (Purgatory)

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Lian Yu (Purgatory)

Before Christ we were trapped by sins in an eternal death. The Roman Catholics believe Purgatory is a state in between death and heaven where you expiating sin prior to entering the gates of heaven. This is the atoning for sin meaning to pay for or redeem. While the idea of there being a purgatory is highly controversial we won’t be getting into that debate. I am by no means trained well enough to go down that rabbit hole and open that can of worms. Instead, the purgatory we will discuss is the one inside our own minds, and the situations we find ourselves in. If purgatory is a form of prison it can be postulated that your own mind can be a prison. We know this because we have thoughts we often don’t want to, we remember things that bring feelings of pain of hurt. We often find ourselves in situations that bare similarities to those that we’ve been through before, almost as if history itself is being repeated. For some, being trapped in the past is the worst kind of Hades we can have. For others they get themselves into situations that are trouble over and over again. While I don’t believe this is a form of punishment while on this earthly plane of existence, I do believe that if we are repeating the same mistakes and we aren’t learning from them, then perhaps God is trying to get us to pass the test to move on. Other times we go through the same thing over and over because of our own choices, even if they are destructive.

I myself have experienced purgatory. When I returned from Iraq I found myself constantly expecting the next IED to go off, constantly scanned every place I went for insurgents trying to blend in. Every shadow there was the enemy lurking just waiting to attack. Then the thoughts came back of the war. All things considered I’d say my platoon and I were lucky. Yes we took casualties, but as many times as we were attacked the damage was superficial and rarely caused any injury. Even though that was the case, the attacks and the feelings that were left behind, where in fact imprinted and left behind for later reflection. Over time it felt as if those memories would show up and torture me at random. It felt as if I were a prisoner to them, my own personal purgatory.

In the last few years I’ve known several people who’ve gotten themselves into ruts of destructive behavior. They would claw themselves out only to get to the top of the mud hill and as soon as they got out, stand up, stretch, turn and swan dive back into the thick of it. One would guess they loved being in that destructive cycle. The truth is it’s harder then people think to break free. Once we are mentally trained for something it’s very difficult to break that cycle. There are a lot of factors that can play into it, where you live, your friends, the music you choose to listen too, even some shows you may watch. (Disclaimer: No I’m not blaming movies, or music, or video games for bad behavior. However there is enough evidence that some, i.e. a small percentage of the population are susceptible to suggestion from these outlets.) The truth is our hearts can and will be influenced by the things we surround ourselves with. Eventually it’s like ingesting small amounts of lead over time. It may not kill us right away, but eventually we will end up with lead poisoning. It’s best to avoid that stuff when we can. Find positive and influential things to fill your life with, either, friends, movies, churches, music, whatever it may be, as long as it’s going to lift up, rather then manipulate behavior in a negative way. 1 Peter 4:15-16 “15 But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men’s matters. 16 Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf.”

So all that being said, how do we avoid entering into purgatory? Well, in a religious sense don’t be habitual sinners. If you are mean and cruel to people and bad things happen to you, chances are you brought that upon yourself. By changing our focus and changing our hearts and minds, giving up and sacrificing our worldly self to Christ, we can then move forward cleansed and free of old sins. Our daily walk should prevent us from entering into man made, self-made perpetual prisons. A purgatory for your mind is harder to achieve. Sometimes we have no control over the trauma’s we endure. I have always been a firm believe of a two pronged approach therapy. The first is for your mind, to actually work on the event that caused the issue. The second is for your heart, and that’s a spiritual journey by someone in the clergy. We can’t have one without the other because we must take care of both the heart and the mind. Both will influence the other, and both have to be in a healthy place and a healthy balance. Don’t allow yourself to be held prisoners by the horrors we may face. Find your spiritual footing and allow those people in ministry to help you. Do not create your own purgatory, instead allow yourself to freely walk away leaving everything behind that held you in chains. Repent for your sins and within that repentance remember it’s not just saying you’re sorry, it’s making an action to make up for the mistake. Mark 5:4 “because he had often been bound with shackles and chains, and the chains had been torn apart by him and the shackles broken in pieces, and no one was strong enough to subdue him.” Jesus freed us from the bonds of sin, and the eternal damnation that followed for it. It takes strength and dedication to overcome the chains of the world, the lustful desires that bind us to our prisons. Fight the sin urges, flee from sinful drama, and seek Godly counsel when in need. Always has if what you are doing glorifies God, and if you don’t think it will, or wouldn’t talk to your pastors or priest about what you are thinking of doing, it’s probably not a good idea to do it.

We can’t always help what happens to us, we can’t always help the scars it leaves behind, but how we choose to handle each of those situations, where we choose to get help for them will be the defining factor as to our eternal future. If life gets hard and you choose to turn to the bottle chances are that bottle will become your purgatory. If you choose to turn to the counsel of God, you’ll undoubtedly have better luck. Don’t create your own prisons, and don’t go searching for purgatory.

Making A Plan

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Making A Plan

All my life I had a plan, I knew how the plan was going to go, I knew how my life was going to unfold, and I knew how to execute the plan. Well, a day before I graduated high school the plan fell apart. ‘The defense department regrets to inform you that you have be found ineligible for the selection into the United States Marine Corps. “ Well, there went my plan. I was so certain I would make it into the Armed Services I barely spent any time on my college testing, and I had only applied to two universities. Both of which I was accepted to, though, I hadn’t planned for how I was going to pay for college. So my plan flew off the rails before it even got going. After a year of moving around a bit, I got a job but wasn’t satisfied with life. I was terrified of college and failing so I ran away from that as fast as I could. It was just by pure coincidence (if there is such a thing) that I ran into an Air Force recruiter in the store. I had talked to him about my denial letter and re suggested I reapply. A few months later I moved back home to live with my Grandfather, and I talked to my local recruiter. Everything was looking good, the process was going along smoothly, and away to MEPS I went. Something was wrong though. I didn’t feel the choices in the Air Force fit my personality and my drive. When I got back from MEPS my recruiter wasn’t there at the recruiting station. I was really upset by that, and I stormed into the Army recruiting office and started talking to them. Within 10 minutes I was headed home with a list of Army jobs, and a slew of information. I had at least 13 jobs circled for further review within the 15-minute drive home. This looked promising I said to myself. I went to MEPS again for the final time before I would ship out, the rest of my testing was done; the job selection process came up. Cavalry Scout was the dream job. There was only 1 slot open so we had to write an essay between two of us candidates. Mine was chosen and I advanced to get a ship date, 6-month wait.

For the next 6 months I would train, and I would enjoy the time I had left with close friends. I would be headed to Fort Knox for one station unit training, and while I was there I would get my duty station. I had signed up for a 1-year hardship in Korea. I figured, if I was going to go to war at least I could have some training in the Army first. During basic I was doing well, I was getting faster, stronger, and testing well. I was moving along to graduate then all of a sudden I ended up with MERSA and I was hospitalized for 4 days. I missed out on vital training, so instead of graduating with my class, I would be recycled through to the next class to graduate. This hit me like a ton of bricks. The plan wasn’t cooperating. I would graduate 6 weeks later then planned. I went to Korea and placed in my unit up at Camp Casey. 1 year in Korea wasn’t going to be so bad. I had a plan, and if I liked it I might even stay one more year after that. Except the plan wasn’t going to cooperate again. We as a unit were being removed from Korea, sent to Iraq and our new home location would be determined while we were in theater. I choose Korea because hardship duty stations didn’t deploy to other combat zones, or they hadn’t in almost 50 years. All that time and effort I spent getting away from the war for a little while just vanished in front of me.

While in country I would get hurt (non combat related) I would loose friends (combat related) and I would endure hardships. I would get home and try my best to keep making plans. Relationships wouldn’t go to plan, I would end up having surgery on my knee, I would get married, then get out of the military ahead of schedule. I moved, and then moved to Europe as a civilian military spouse. I would loose that marriage to an affair. I met a wonderful woman, eventually would marry her and then in time watch as my life was torn apart by yet another grisly affair.

So, that’s pretty much the last 15 years. I look back and I snicker at how well my best laid plans would work. I heard a quote just a couple weeks ago “Make the plan, Execute the plan, Expect the plan to go off the rails, Throw away the plan.” (The Flash) That statement couldn’t be truer. What does God think of our plans? Well, funny you should ask, Proverbs 15:22 “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” As we all know, even as much as we may want something, that doesn’t mean that’s what God has planned for us. Amos 3:7 “For the Lord God does nothing without revealing his secret to his servants the prophets.” Since we haven’t seen any prophets in a long time, it’s safe to say we often fly blind. Another saying to laugh about is “Tell God your plans and watch Him laugh.”

Living by following the cross, and doing our very best to listen to what God has planned for us is the closest we have to knowing plans will even partially work. When God closes a door we have a hard time understanding why, we have a hard time accepting no as an answer. For some it’s not a no, it’s just a not yet, but for others, their fate is down a different rabbit hole. We all know that the best-laid plan is to follow Christ. Read the scripture and the lessons left for us to follow and you can’t go wrong. Not all our plans are meant to work, some are because of our own doing, and some will fail because of others. The path your on doesn’t actually end, it just splits. It’s up to all of us to choose the path we feel lines closest to what God wants for us. James 4:13-17 “Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”

I’ll leave you with this story as a close. August 2012, just three months before I was scheduled to be married I was out with my girlfriend and her father. She had just got a new Smith & Wesson Bodyguard semi automatic pistol. It’s a little .380 about the size of my hand. We’d been out shooting for a little while and I opted to shoot last. I was testing out the built in laser and I went to a knee to see how accurate it was. I held the gun steady and I squeezed the trigger. It jumped like no tomorrow as I felt a huge wave of air on my face. It felt like a book had been waved in front of my face, then hit me. I went to stand up, but I couldn’t see completely. My face was red hot, and I could feel the warm hot liquid poor from my face. I could feel it on my hand when I touched my face, and it was at that moment I realized I was in need of help. I turned around and dropped to a knee. We would later find the bullet casing had exploded in the chamber. It buckled the guns plastic, and peppered my eye protection with bits of shrapnel. Sadly my glasses didn’t protect my entire face and my cheek, nose, and forehead weren’t so lucky. My vision was saved due to the glasses, but to this day a piece of shrapnel still remains in my right cheek as the surgeon was unable to remove the tiny fragment in fear of doing more harm then good. Every day we went shooting we always planned and executed safety as best we could. On this particular day it happened to be, I was doing what I was supposed to, I wore what I was supposed to, but I was still injured. Thankfully the shrapnel wasn’t lower and it didn’t go through the artery in my neck. Even the best laid, most carefully thought out plans can quickly go to all Hades. Just remember that sometimes, when our plans go off the rails THAT may be part of the bigger plan after all.

Lift up Don’t Tear Down

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Lift up Don’t Tear Down

Brothers and sisters in Christ we have a commandment we often fall short on. John 13:34-35“34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” I have been listening to a song lately I know was not meant to be a Christian song, but I hear it as such. God Gave Me You, the version I have is Dave Barnes. “God Gave me you for the ups and downs.” When I think of who that is I think of Christ. I know that Christ above all else is there for me no matter what situation I’m in, where I am, or how far off the path I’ve gotten. Something I’ve struggled with as of late is how individuals have been treating me. I have had several friends turn their backs on me, and walk away for one reason or another. I have put a lot of thought and self-reflection as to why that might be. I often think back to Job. As Job looses everything one by one he asks his good buddies to come over to his house. We all want to be around people to just lean on when things are tough. We expect our friends to help us bare our crosses, help us get through. When you’re single you expect your friends to get you out of the house. When you’re grieving for the loss of loved ones you expect your friends to be there as a shoulder to cry on. We expect people to be there for us not just because we feel it’s the right thing to do, but it’s actually what they are supposed to do. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” Why is this so difficult for some to do?

I know a doctor trained in Dialectible Behavior Therapy, and I asked why as a people do we focus so much on the negative rather then the positive. The answer was fairly straight forward, she said, our brains have a natural response to negative because that’s what keeps us alive. The negative actions stand out because it goes against the grain. Driving along going home you pass by a dozen cars doing the right thing, but then a car cuts you off. You won’t remember the 12 cars doing the right thing, that 1 car however will be what stands out. The more I thought about what she said the more it made sense.

I have been using Facebook lately to spread the word of this blog. I post once or twice a day, and as I have felt my blog has been doing well, I’ve noticed amongst my Facebook friends it’s not really picked up. I went about 2 months without posting anything except the auto post of my blog. I had a rough day and I posted something about manners, how some people will just leave you high and dry and how rude I felt that was. My page exploded with angry posts about how people are busy, and I shouldn’t be shaming my friends, and how I should keep those types of posts to myself. I was in shock to see such feedback. I post some beautiful pieces of writing, highly uplifting, and scripturally based, and I don’t get more then maybe 1 thumb up 4-5 if I’m truly lucky. Of all things to get noticed this one factual and understandable frustration gets all the attention. I thought to myself, what about everything else I’ve done? The fact is that it matters to the people who read it, and those who don’t see only what they want to see.

Love is harder then hate. Thinking positive is harder then negative, and those who do think positive have to work harder. If it’s true that our brains are naturally wired to focus on the negative things for whatever reason, being negative is the easy way out. Learning to focus on God, and do Gods will is a difficult road. As many of my so called friends have abandoned ship, I find it interesting that they do so when I fully devote my life to Jesus. It seems my life is going through a process of cleansing, weeding out those who are of little use to my ministry. The ones left in my life will be the ones who’ve helped me bare my cross when it was too heavy to carry. We must learn to walk with patience and love for our brothers and sisters who’ve yet to realize the true power of the Holy Spirit. The Cross is heavy for us all to bare and for some the cross can be so heavy we collapse under the weight of it. We have to have more patience with our loved ones, and understand that how we treat someone when they are going through a hard time is going to be remembered. How do you want to be treated with your life is in shambles? Make the choice to lift up your neighbors and help them in their time of need. No they may not take your advice, but if you just offer an ear, just be there to let them know you care, that itself will go a long way. We aren’t always there to fix their problems, often just to be a listening post, and a shoulder. Be kind because it only takes a moment without hope to watch the candle be extinguished. Remind people by your actions that good people still exist. Remind them that love is still stronger then hate. And if you ever have a problem you just can’t carry, lean on me.

When The Sun Sets, Resetting for Tomorrow

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When The Sun Sets, Resetting for Tomorrow

Have you ever sat and watched a sunset? How does the sun setting make you feel? I have always loved it because of the colors it creates on the clouds, watching it change almost every minute. The sight of the stars coming out, the moon shining, the vastness of the night sky reminds me of how vast God is, and how small we really are. When I say small I don’t mean insignificant. I have come to realize that every life is extremely valuable and significant. There is so much to be thankful for by the end of every day. Even when we’ve had a horrible day the blessings that continue to flow through our path is immeasurable.

I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying ‘never go to bed angry.’ That’s great advice. Usually when we go to bed angry we sleep horribly. There is merit to the thought process of not doing this. There are a few things to keep in mind. First, what is there to be gained by continuing the fight with whoever you’re arguing with? Second, is the argument something you’d argue with yourself? Lets start with the 2nd one. If you are with someone and you argue, and yell and scream you’re really only hurting yourself. The Devil wants to create a wedge in your happiness and when you cannot have a reasonable conversation anymore you’ve gotten to the point where you are not just hurting yourself, but your significant other, and God. When you marry you become one flesh. You must remember how important it is to be that united body under God. Now onto the 1st point, negotiation is a lost art it seems. Why do we not learn to negotiate and compromise earlier in a fight? Why do we not find a way to prevent the argument from occurring in the first place? People will always disagree that’s the nature of individuality and opinions, but that doesn’t mean arguments can’t be avoided. We need to remember that God brings us together to better ourselves.

What about when we are having a bad day, a string of bad luck, we feel like we can’t just catch a break? Life isn’t a video game, there’s not reset button, there’s no saving and picking it up later, but what we do have is sleep, rest, and a new day. What a crazy idea it would be if we could actually let go of our troubles, and start the next day with a fresh perspective, a fresh start, and actually allowing yourself to actually hit the reset button. Really, it’s not so far fetched. If we learn to pray and meditate every night before bed when we pray for peace, pray for wisdom, and pray for the answers to whatever situation you find yourself in. No matter the situation we can use a few simple tools on our tool belt. First, allow yourself to decide what mindset you’re in. Are you in wise mind, or emotion mind? We can often find ourselves in a predicament where we are stuck. We’ve lost the ability to rationalize and be more self aware of the feelings and emotions that are activated in our times of stress. Learning to radically accept, changing your mindset, negotiating, compromising, and in general learn how to be reasonable without passing harmful judgments, time and again making things worse.

The new day gives us a ability to attack a problem differently. The new day gives us a fresh start and when we trust in the Lord to take away or lighten our load nothing is too difficult for our God. 2 Corinthians 4:16 “For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward [man] is renewed day by day.” We pray to God every night for renewed spirit and we shall have it. Luke 1:77-80 “77 To give knowledge of salvation unto his people by the remission of their sins, 78 Through the tender mercy of our God; whereby the dayspring from on high hath visited us, 79 To give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.” We must understand that every day we pray and we as for the Spirit to bless us, its just a matter of letting yourself have faith that God is in control. You may wake up in the morning and find yourself continuing to deal with the same situation you were when you went to bed. If the problem still persists try to change your perspective. Try to find the lesson you are to learn. Try to solve the problem using scripture, finding the solution God would be most pleased with. Allow your soul to catch fire with Christ. Allow yourself to embrace your cross with zeal. With every sun rise is a new page, a new chapter and since we never know what our future holds, why not try to embrace the sunrise and see where the wind takes you.

No matter the situation, the hardships, the horrors you may be facing in your life, there’s always hope. Proverbs 24:14 “Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off.” This sentiment is echoed again in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. “ We may have troubles, but if Christ suffered during the crucifixion a little suffering on our own is nothing. 1 Corinthians 15:19 “If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.” As Christians we know we will endure persecution and hardships. We know because we’re told we would time and time again throughout the New Testament. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18  “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” This is not an easy thing to do, and it will take time to learn. Because Christ lives we know that we can overcome the toils of the world and reach for the sky every day. We can face tomorrow with fresh tenacity because our God says Christ died so we could live. With each new sunrise we have a fresh start to reach others, minister the word, preach the Gospel, and make the world a better place. Proverbs 27:1 “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” When we take each day by it’s appropriate action we find that we put to much stock in our own plans. We try to plan every detail of our lives and how rarely are we correct. James 4:14 “Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.”

In closing let the night wash away the mistakes of the day. Let the sleep and rest you find renew your spirit for the Lord. As the sun rises the next morning and wipes away the stars, so shall it wipe away your tears and worries. Have faith in the dawn, and have faith that in and through God all things remain possible.

 

 

The Fallen

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The Fallen

Riding into battle with swords raised the cavalry charged. For freedom they fight, or so they say, the brothers beside is why they stay. No ribbons, no parade, no heroes welcome, just a quiet house. The ones who live survive with guilt, the battle rages and never sleeps. The truth in the horrors are no fiction to see.

The fallen we miss and tears we cry. The family’s loss will leave them empty inside. The truth is held, but few will hear. The fallen at peace, the end was there. The memories are trapped for those who remain he love and loss for those who were slain.

We grill the food, and drink the beer, the music and friends to gather around. Let’s not forget the ones who are gone. John 15:13 “13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” We remember the fallen and the families left behind. The ones who hold the nightmares of the lost remember them as well. Pray for them and never forget.

War is hell and never leaves those who experience it. ‘Only the dead have seen the end of war’ Plato. Pray for peace, and pray for comfort. Pray for the remembrance of and pray for resolute to support. What does it mean to give up ones life for his friends? Mark 10:45 “45 For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.” We were held captive by our sins. We were forever hopeless until the sacrifice of Christ for all of us. The price of eternal salvation was a steep one. Romans 5:6-8 “6 For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. 8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

 If we have no hope in our lives what do we fight for? The question begs for the answers. Where does our compass point if there is not moral judgments that are cement. When anything is based on societies rules, which change through the generations, what do we fight for? If there is nothing to hope for then why give up anything for anyone else? Christ gave us hope. The promise of God to eternal salvation was paid for in full. Hope was then restored to all of us. Matthew 16:24-26 “24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. 25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. 26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” Today we celebrate the fallen and remember that they fought and died for what the believed in. The freedoms of this country have been paid for at a high price. Don’t let those lives have died in vein.

Surrender ones self to the Lord and you shall live. When we surrender to something higher then ourselves we let go of our selfish wants, we may live and actually live, and for the ones who’ve died we live. We live with the horrors and nightmares from war. We remember what it takes to keep and maintain peace. Let us never forget.