According to the plan….. Wait That’s Not Right

According to the plan….. Wait That’s Not Right

What happens when you’re trapped in your own four walls? When the very thought about going out makes you weak at the knees and it feels like you can’t move or breathe? When depression, anxiety, and fear trap a once lively sociable person, and turns them into a flake, a hermit, unable to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and carry forward. How do we handle being on both sides? On one side you are the one trapped and all of the ways it hurts. On the other hand the one looking in, and dealing with the pain that comes with always being told no, even after plans were made has to deal with patience, understanding, forgiveness, and somewhere hope.

We all know things don’t usually go according to the plan, but it’s in those failures that we must understand there’s a reason. Sometimes the reason is a better path, sometimes it’s based on a persons free will, but in all things God’s in control. If God sees a path going array, just know that if you’re faithful and remain righteous God’s plan will be for you to prosper. We all make choices and for better or worse those choices affect those around us. A good Christian will uphold to their word and do what they say they are going to do. But what happens when their word is broken because of illness? We all need to understand a person dealing with depression, anxiety, and those who are just lost, will often say and do things that may lead to pain for others. While it hurts to look into someone’s life who’s suffering form that, we must understand that in order for us to be Godly in this situation we must approach with endless love, endless compassion, endless empathy, and endless forgiveness. No one wants to be depressed, and trapped in their own mind. There are lots of reasons for depression, and even if sometimes it’s caused from peoples bad choices, that doesn’t mean they should be condemned by them forever. Our place is not to judge, but to help carry the cross. The fine line is helping whether it’s been asked for or not. If we love someone though, we need to realize that love is the action of doing, not the feeling and sitting back and doing nothing. While love is a feeling, it’s what we do that’s more important.

When we are the ones trapped inside our heads and we can’t seem to break out, we need to be praying. We need to work on our faith, we need to find Godly counsel, we need to ensure we are not becoming stagnant water. We have to keep moving forward, and it won’t be easy, but we have to. We cannot give up who we are, and we cannot become something we were never meant to become. Dealing with addictions, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, and feeling lost, can be some of the worst things to face on the planet. When we forsake everyone around us and we choose to walk a path alone, we are walking away from God. We all turn and walk the wrong path at some point, but it’s important to notice that it’s happening and find yourself wherever you are, and realize that the Devil’s been lying to you. You need to wake up from the fog, and you need to as God to help you back. There will always be people in your life that at the moments notice will help you find your way. There will always be people who care, who love, who support, and who cherish you. If they aren’t in your life right now, when you make that change, God will provide. Just have faith, and as the battle wages on, be strong, fight back, and never give up hope.

When your plans explode and your day doesn’t go the way you want it, I always find myself going back to the words of the great Leonard Snart “Make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan.” No matter where the plans take you, the best you can do is to drop back, evaluate, and move in a new direction. I’m not saying when plans fail it doesn’t hurt, because sure it does. Yesterday when my plans exploded in my face on my birthday I was devastated. I thought for sure history wouldn’t repeat itself, but sure as I’m alive, the plan went off the rails. Instead of going out and having a nice night for my birthday, it turned into an evening in, building on of the coolest Lego set’s I’ve ever built. Not what I wanted, or what I had in mind, but I’m sure that in some way, it was for the best.

When life goes off the rails, just remember the rules: Be patient, an archer waits for his shot, he doesn’t fire aimlessly into the dark hoping to hit something. Be kind, an archer is fierce and doesn’t aim to be cruel to others. Be forgiving, we are all human on this big floating rock in space. We will make mistakes, and we will hurt others. People will hurt us, and it’s in that we must always remember to forgive without question, or without expectation to receive it in return. Never Give UP, we must always push forward and never give up because we know that God is never giving up on us. Dealing with any form of mental illness is hard, and when we are the ones in the wake of it’s destruction, we need to be calm, and caring, not cold and callus. When our plans don’t go the way we want them, have faith that we are where we are meant to be, and trust that God will help place us on the path. It’s for us to listen, and for us to watch for His signs, but in all things trust in the Lord with your heart, and believe you are moving to glorify the Father. People will hurt you, plans will change, life may be flipped upside down, but when you love, when you forgive, when you are gracious, and compassionate, the Lord will bless you, when the time’s right. Have faith, Have love, Have Christ in your heart.

We All Have One

We All Have One

Matthew 18:21 21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus,because he will save his people from their sins.” The birth of Christ is celebrated every year and likewise when our birthday comes up we take the time to celebrate. Since we all have one, and I’m not very good at this sometimes, I will say, today’s my birthday. So I wanted to make a small list of things I’m thankful of.

I am thankful for my home, having a warm place to lay my head, a nice place to work out of, and anyplace I can have Riley and Cooper. I’m thankful for being debt free, and I’m thankful for the people that have chosen to be in, and apart of my life. I am thankful for my mother who’s been helping me on my path to rebuild.

When we realize we are a year older we spend time looking back, and looking forward. Although the last year has been a challenging one we can always remember to look forward. A celebration to remind us we are still here. We grow in wisdom, in wonderful seasoning, and look forward to the year. It seems as if the last few years have gone by faster and faster. We questions our own mortality at times, and for me, I sit and I have Cooper in my lap, and a cold monster (energy drink) next to me, and my computer that I’ve written so many blog posts on. No matter what this year may bring, or what trials I may face, I know I’m here for a reason. As my birthday is nothing special I take this time and remain hopeful for a better year. I think we all have our purpose and any birthday is worth celebrating.

I look forward to the evening of unknown. I don’t have any plans, but a couple beers with the dogs and even though that’s a normal night, I think happiness is a relative state of being, and as far as getting older goes, I’m okay with it.

Happy Birthday to me, and I’d say 34 is looking good. I’ve noticed how many people have told me I don’t look like I’m in my 30’s, so at least I have that going for me.

 

Financial Peace, and Gifts

Financial Peace, and Gifts

The stories that tell us of our lives and the stories that shape the future in such a simple setting, like an old kitchen table. The reality over the dream is the truth we all must face at some point. We all look at our own battlefield with shame, guilt, and hopelessness. The battles we face aren’t the end, and although it’s hard, and terrifying, and it’s sometimes a huge hole we find ourselves in, there is one undeniable truth, one truth that buries the so-called truths that the world shoves down our throats, God’s word. God’s word sets our path, and it’s a tried and true path that no matter what battlefield we are on, the Word of God shows us the trail we must walk. That path isn’t easy, it’s not fun, and it will often kick you in the face.

Are we a nation of doers or reactionists? We are a nation that we react when bad things happen, when we walk through the path it’s like we pick up the rocks and place them in our packs till we can’t stand anymore. We pile so much on ourselves that we become over encumbered. We find ourselves unable to move and we don’t know how or why we can’t move. When we realize how we got to where we are that’s the first step. Once you get to the point where you’re tired of carrying the dead weight, you must first realize you have to stop doing what you’ve been doing. Change the way you think about your life, and change the focus and once you do, it’s only a matter of time for you to push away the rocks, and you can one day stand back up and get back on the right trail.

We must learn to stop embracing the bad decisions, we must learn to make the hard choices, and pick up the right cross and follow Jesus. We do have a choice and with that choice we must understand that anything worthwhile is worth putting forth the effort. No matter what we want if it’s good for us we must learn to work towards it. If we learn how to live a Godly life, and we learn to focus our emotions and eventually we will learn to reap what we sew. No matter where we find ourselves we must learn to be ready for the storms for when they come, not if they come. Make sure that you have your insurance policy to prepare you for when life happens. Scripture is our insurance, our understanding of life, and when we change how we live our lives, we will actually see the change in how often the ‘bad’ things happen.

When I was on a trip to Indiana on my return to North Carolina I hit something in the road and it cost me a few hundred dollars to fix the car. When I had the money to fix it and I wasn’t freaking out. I had the money, and without a second thought I was able to put the tire on the car, drive home, work out the insurance claim, and within a few weeks I had my car fixed and my money back. When we are disciplined in our faith we find that we actually becoming spiritually mature. Hebrews 12:11 “­­­­­For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.“ Positive it’s going to rain.” (Dave Ramsey) In Dave Ramsey’s words an unexpected event will happen to 78% of people in 10 years. It’s our job to not just think of this in a sense of money, but in every aspect of our lives. We need to prepare for what’s to come because it’s not a matter if they come, we know for sure that Murphey is going to knock on the door, and we want to be able to tell Murphey we’re ready for it. It’s almost proven that when you show God you’re ready, you’ll actually have less problems.

Proverbs 21:20 “Precious treasure and oil are in a wise man’s dwelling, but a foolish man devours it.” When we use up all of our savings, or we don’t save at all we are a fool. I personally believe this isn’t just about money. We have so many blessings in our life, and I believe that this also means we shouldn’t take those blessings for granted. We shouldn’t hoard our natural treasures. We must be faithful with the gifts we are given. We must learn to save up for when the troubles start. Proverbs 26:20 “For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.” We must never take for granted the abundance but instead share, and plan for the tough times. When we appropriate God’s grace, we will remain in favor. We don’t want to squander what we have and get lost along the way.

 

 

 

 

 

The Big Picture

The Big Picture

Lately I have been feeling a little down about myself. I say that like it’s something new, but the truth is I’ve always had some self-esteem issues. The thing is though, lately it seems I just can’t seem to gain any traction. With everything going on it’s been such a challenge to find what I’ve been looking for. In this day in time it’s crazy to think people are still lonely, and that a world so connected through a thousand different ways, and yet people still struggle to make that sought after relationship with people. Why is it that in a world with billions of people, and the ability to reach anyone in mere seconds, people are still unable to make a connection?

I feel one of the biggest things we do as people is to forget about others. We’ve become so focused on self, that we forget the people on the other side of the keyboard are people. It’s so easy to dismiss someone, not read the tone of a message the way it was intended, or sadly just base your entire search on looks and looks alone. There’s no human connection anymore, and most it seems no longer make an emotional connection. To say people are fickle doesn’t seem to be a strong enough word. The world has become a cold place and I think it’s time we change that.

Since the advent of the cell phone and the SMS (text message) we’ve seen a steady change in the way we communicate. The text message led into social media, Myspace, then Facebook. Eventually the online messenger service faded away and Facebook was all that was left. I remember as a teenager being on the phone for hours. I was able to pick up the phone and call any number of friends and they’d answer, we would talk, and we actually had things to talk about. Today however it seems as if finding conversation is a lost art. People don’t talk on the phone hardly anymore, and now we are to busy to respond back to messages on Facebook. It really drives me nuts when people have their phones set to show when the message is read, or on Facebook when you can see your message has been seen, yet, hours, days, weeks goes by and no response. What’s happened to this world when we see someone taking the time to reach out, and we no longer have any emotional attachment to that friend? I think the reason is actually part of a bigger picture. If I were the Devil, I’d want to drive a wedge in people. If I were the Devil I’d slowly make people more and more selfish by placing a wedge between them. If I were the Devil I’d kill off communication, destroy homes with meaningless online flings, and for those who are lonely, make it even harder for them to meet anyone in real life. If I were the Devil I would thrive in the shadows and use the facelessness of the internet to increase the amount of depression, and self-esteem issues. A place where someone can hide from life and in essence have a separate life in digital form.

As time has passed in my life I have found people are becoming less concerned with how their actions affect someone else. I’ve found people quickly and easily cut ties with others, say hurtful things to one another, and are so quick to judge, it’s easy to do now that you don’t have to see the hurt on someone’s face when you do it. I think that’s one of the biggest down sides to all the faceless communication, is the lack of accountability. You can say anything and hurt someone’s feelings, rip out their heart, but you never have to see it, or hear from them again. The Devil is literally creating a divide in our society. We are easier to be picked off when we are alone. When I look at the national suicide rate in this country it sickens me. When I look at the number of veterans that commit suicide every day, I can’t help but have to pick my heart up off the floor. The Devil can drive a wedge in our lives, separate us from those whom we’re supposed to be closest to, we’re like a gazelle being chased by a cheetah.

I think in order to really affect change we need to rethink how we interact with others. I think we need to reconnect with the human race and instead of staring at the phone, put it to your ear and communicate using that little thing called a mouth. I think we need to get back to feeling empathy for those in suffering, joy for those who are happy, and actually having friendships. I think the term friend is used far too loosely these days, and so is the word love. We no longer remember that love isn’t just an emotion; it’s something we are supposed to do. It’s something that takes effort, and time, and control, yet once we get passed the butterflies and the warm fuzzies, we are reduced to looking for the next high. I think people have become so self orientated, so consumed with gratification, that the long game is no longer relevant. People no longer communicate to learn, or to grow, it’s now ‘how can I be entertained?’ These issues are a systemic problem that has really cropped up in the last 15 years. Sadly as this problem has grown there are casualties.

I think we needed to get back to a place where we are more able to communicate with those we interact with. Social media can be a great tool when used the way it was originally designed. but when we remove the original purpose (to connect with those whom we have lost touch with) we lose sight of why we were there to begin with. When we read something we enjoy, or even something we don’t we should offer some kind of thoughtful words. We should say hello to people, and attempt to get to know them. We should allow our natural curiosity to teach us about other people. When we live our lives in silence, and we don’t engage with others with whom we meet, we are not fulfilling our roll as Christians. We are told to celebrate in Christ together, to fellowships, and to love our neighbors. We are told to bare one another’s burdens, and lift up with the tongue not to tear down. Silence can be just as damaging as negative words. Go forward and think about the people in your lives. Have you kept in touch like you should, have you been there for them when they need it the most, or have you been a fare weather friend? It’s never too late to mend bridges and it’s never to late to avoid calamity. We all have the ability to change lives if we just move beyond our own thumbs, our own stress, and see that maybe there is time to open up more. When I was working full time I was also in school full time, and a full time husband. I always found time to message my friends, check in to see how things were going. It’s all about what’s important to you, and who. We never know in our lives when things may go sour and when they do, we all need people in our lives who will be there to help us through. If you’re not there for your friend when they need you, do you believe they will be there for you? One thing is certain, we all could use a little more love in our hearts.

An Audience of One

An Audience of One

I’ve spent the better part of the last year trying to grow, to expand, to learn, and to reach people carrying the word of the Lord. In that time I had expectations and I had hopes, and dreams, and ideals that I would set my compass towards and try my best to achieve those goals. I have watched as my graph day to day stayed exactly the same. Without much change my numbers stayed within margin the same place every day. While this by some standards is a success because I have at least reached 1 a day, to me, I expected to grow. I average between 10-25 visitors a day, with an average view of 20-30 per day. I’ve been at the same numbers for a year. Sure I have good days, but with 87 followers, and several foundations for the blog to get out onto I feel my numbers are staggeringly low. I figured way back if I used modern pop culture I’d be able to reach more people. I figured if I made it exciting people would read and respond in kind. I was hoping word would spread and it would grow. I was hoping people would leave feedback if they liked it or hated it. Sadly feedback is rare on the site, and spreading doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen. I’ve felt lately that perhaps I should find a different venue, a different way to get the word out there. As I’ve been doing this every day, for nearly a year now, I have grown weary. I have grown discouraged and I’m not sure where to go from here. I hope and pray that this would leave a foundation for me.

Someone told me once we need to remember why we do the things we do. Someone mentioned to me that as long as God is the focus to whatever it is we do, then nothing else matters. The growth, the feedback, none of it matters if God is pleased. If the blog touches and influences just one soul it’s worth it. If nothing ever comes of it, but one soul is led to the Lord, or someone is strengthened by the words, then it would all be worth while. These words while true are tough to follow. I think we as people usually struggle with that aspect of our life. Are we doing what we do for the right reasons? Are we putting to much on our success? Just because we don’t reach our goals, are we doing exactly what God wants us to? Glorify the King, bring joy to the Lord by every bit of work we put in, and the rest doesn’t matter. It’s a place in our heart we need to get to, and let go of the desires of our heart and question where our hearts really are. Galatians 6:9 “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” I know that in time there will be a time to reap. I know I must continue doing what God has called me to do. I know that the sewing may take a long time, perhaps even years, but when we remain true, remain faithful, God won’t forget us. I will continue to fight the fight and move forward. Though I grow weary, and tired, I will fall on Isaiah 40:31 “but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” I will remember these verses to heart, and I will keep pushing forward. The Devil nips at my heals and I’d very much like to turn around and kick Him in his smug demon face.

Keep the faith, keep strong, keep planting and keep watering. Tend to your garden and when the time comes you will see your fruit. Never quit and remember to keep the Devil out of your head. Ignore the lies, the deceit that is to pull you away from God’s truth. Never give up on hope because one day, you will have the desires of your heart, if it’s God’s will and if you are walking a righteous path. Keep look to God and you can’t go wrong.

 

 

Letting Go

Letting Go

Life isn’t always the way we have planned. Sometimes things happen and it hurts us. Friends leave or hurt our feelings, loved ones abandon us, someone insults us, all number of things can do damage to our sometimes-sensitive psyches. The thing is, pain is all part of life. When it happens it isn’t fun at all, and it can leave a lasting mark on our hearts. It can turn to scars and those scars if not careful can harden your heart. We need to remember that for every ounce of pain we endure, there may be something greater coming in the future we are being prepared for. “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. “You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” C.S. Lewis. 1 Peter 5:10 “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” Suffering happens to everyone, but as a Christian we expect to endure great hardships. 1 Peter 4:12-13 “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.” Being a Christian isn’t always easy. It often takes great strength and fortitude to manage the trials day in and day out. People can be callused in their heart and they may say and do things that hurt and cut us deeply. We must know this and find ways to manage, and see this from a different perspective. Isaiah 48:10 “Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.”

Set your eyes to the lord

 When we are down and stressed, when we are joyful and blissful, we should always look to the Lord. When our eyes are set on the Lord our lives are closer to being on the right path. Proverbs 4:25-27 “Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee. Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.” We must look, but we must see beyond the surface. We must have faith and trust that our trials come with a purpose. When hardships happen are we taking them to the Lord? Colossians 3:2 “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.” The only true ways out of the fire is the Lord. When we realize we need the Lord we are one step closer to a healthy relationship with our Father.

Looking forward not back

We must have the strength to take our steps forward. We must always move forward and never go backwards. The horizon isn’t some place to ponder; it’s a place to venture towards. As the days begin with the rising sun remember that every day is a painting. Every day is a new fresh canvas for the Lord to paint our lives. Like a drop in the water, the ripples of our life from the smallest things could always move us into position for great things. Isaiah 43:18 “Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.” All things happen for a reason and in those reasons we must have faith. We will be strengthened by our pain, and like a sword in the forged, it takes time, it takes fire, it takes the hammer, and the anvil to shape the beautiful steel sword. When sharpened we can cut through the enemy because we were forged by the Holy Spirit. Philippians 3:13-14 “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” The prize for us is eternal salvation. We mustn’t allow our past to hold us back. We mustn’t get stuck in the pain and force ourselves to relive it daily. While it’s not easy to move past the pain, but if we use the pain, harness it’s raw power and effect, we can believe in our hearts it’s for a purposes. Job 17:9 “The righteous also shall hold on his way, and he that hath clean hands shall be stronger and stronger.” Kneel in prayer taking only a moment to physically stop moving, but allowing your spirit to fly and thrive in the light of the world. In the darkest of storms when we have the Holy Spirit inside us, we may be going through our own struggles, but as a Godly person remember you may be going through your own storms, and you may be looking for your own light in the darkness, but think about it this way, what if you’re someone else’s light in the darkness? What if how you manage your pain is the strength and inspiration someone else needs? 1 Corinthians 13:12 “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” The reflection we see may not always be what we expect, but as we continue to grow in our faith, that reflection will reveal more of our true image, the image that was created by God to be loved by God, and when we look in the mirror one day we will see God standing with us.

 Don’t Dwell on the past

We can’t get stuck, we must move forward, and if we ever do get caught worrying about our past, we must remember Matthew 6:27 “Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?” Worrying about yesterday, and focusing on what we did wrong, or what was done wrong to us doesn’t add a single moment to our life. Now I’m not saying don’t reflect, don’t review the past to make your tomorrow better but don’t worry about it, don’t forget to move past it. When we do that, when we finally figure out how to do an affective After Action Review, we can adjust and overcome, and make tomorrow a better day.

Giving your hurt to God

Every day we have choices to be made. We choose to get out of bed, we choose to go to the bathroom, to eat breakfast, to look at your phone, or to turn on the TV. We make choices about what to wear, where to go, to go to work, to stop at the gas station on the way, or wait till later. So in our every day choices, are we choosing to let God into our hearts? Are we choosing to be mad at someone for what they said to us? Are we choosing to forgive or not? Are we choosing to remain in the fire of our own making? Are we choosing to remain in our own prison? We need to learn to choose to give our pain our suffering, our struggles to God. We need to choose to let God into our hearts, and have the faith to let go of what we cannot control. When we learn to take the hands off the wheel and let God take over, we realize that we weren’t ever in control anyway. Loving God is a choice, and letting go of the pain inside is also a choice. It’s not one that’s easy, and it takes practice, and time, but in those it takes and requires effort. Facing our fears, and our pain is hard, and we need to handle that just like we walk to the refrigerator. It’s one step, one moment at a time, and before we know it we start to feel a little less pain, a little less grief. Philippians 4:6-7 “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” The pain may never go away but it won’t define us. The betrayal of close friends, loved ones, may always stay with us, but we can learn to trust again. We can learn to love again. People are fickle creatures, and can be motivated by a million different things in their own life. The pain we have can be the forging fire and we can become stronger if we grow, or if not heat-treated right a sword may become brittle. We don’t want to be the brittle steel broken at the first blow, we want to be strong and dependable. If every moment is more then you can take, and you have troubles and you need strength the one place to find refuge is Matthew 11:28-30 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Remember that the phrase “God will never give you more then you can take.” Is not scriptural at all. When you feel like you can’t take anymore the refuge you seek is Jesus Christ. God may not pull up on the rains to slow things down, but whatever you ‘need’ God will provide to you. You will always have the tools to get through the pain, and the suffering if you just look to God and pray for the help you need.

In every day life we will have friends come and go. We will have days of great joy, and days of great sorrow. It’s okay to not be okay, and it’s okay to just cry some days. Don’t get stuck in the misery, but remember God gave us our feelings for a reason and it’s important to remember some days you just need the sweet release of tears. Some days you need a good belly laugh, and in all these things beauty can be found. No matter what emotion you’re going through, you’re never alone. You may walk in the snow and see only one set of footprints, but that doesn’t mean Jesus is right there with you. The important thing is to find ways to handle those emotions. We cry to the Lord and even if we are crying the Lord is pleased because we are coming to our Savior, but sad that we are in pain. Forward always, and never backwards, because Jesus is always in front of us, hand extended to pull us through the day. Not for one moment in this life are we forsaken and forgotten.

 

 

 

 

 

 

400 Already

400 Already

It seems like it was just yesterday when I started my little blog. It seems like a blink of the eye and I’ve already hit 400 posts and in less then a year. In that time I’ve experienced so much pain, and at the same time joy. While I’ve not gotten to where I want to be yet, I know that I’m not done yet. I know that I have work to do still, and I will keep fighting the good fight till the day I’m called home. Like the 400 years of silence in Israel where nothing was heard from God, I know that in all things patience is so important. While God was quiet for those 400 years, without them the coming Savior’s mission wouldn’t have been feasible. In those 400 years the Roman Empire grew, and with it infrastructure, roads, and networks of trade and goods to move around more freely. To spread the Gospel these roads would be paramount, along with the ability to influence so many nations in a much larger area then would have previously been able. The 400 after Malachi the situation for the Jews did not bode well. The 400 years also known as the silent years can be broken down into four distinct periods.

Babylonian captivity (605-535 BC)

In around 586 BC Jerusalem fell to an attacking force. Nebuchadnezzar concurred the city and destroyed the temple. With no temple the Jews would find a way to preserve their heritage by creating small groups that would gather around their leaders to hear the scripture. These gatherings would be called “synagogues” literally translated to gatherings. This would pave the way for later Christians to build churches.

 

The Medo-Persian Period (537-331BC)

During this people the enslavement continued for the Jews, but this time the policy was to allow the people to follow their natural beliefs. The temples were allowed to be used again, and slowly the Hebrew texts were translated into Aramaic. This would help move the can down the road to be closer to further teachings of scripture. Slowly the teachings returned to the temples.

 

Grecian Period (331-164 BC)

During this period the Greeks took over largely at the tip of Alexander the Greats spear. This period was called the Hellenization period. After Alexander the Greats death in 323 BC Ptolemy I gained control over Egypt and ruled over the Jews. This period the biggest threat to the Jews was not an army, but culture. Culture would come to their shores and through the Alexandria the influence would spread. At this time the sacred texts would once again be translated into another language and slowly it went to Greek. By the time the New Testament would arrive most of the quotes used would largely be the old Greek translations also called Septuagint. The Syrians would eventually outlaw circumcisions and the Sabbath, along with dietary restrictions. Thus influencing the teaching and watering them down.

 

The Roman Period (63 BC- 134 AD)

After the capture of Jerusalem in the hear 63 BC by Pompey Hyrcanus II was appointed as high priest. Harod took over Galilee. Harod would eventually conquer Jerusalem and would be named “Harod the Great” King of the Jews. He would rebuild part of the Temple and transform it into a marvel. Augustus Caesar would rule over all of Rome. The Harods would rule one after another, as well as the Caesars to follow. This leads into the time of Christ, when Harod feared the rising of the foretold savior he would Slaughter every newborn in hopes to keep his power.

God was working every day to set the stage for Christ’s arrival. Just like a play in a theater you don’t start off one day with an open stage, you must first build the scenery, cast the characters, and the stage. Just like the 400 years setting the foundation for the Great Commission to be possible I feel as if over the last 400 blog posts I too have been laying the foundation for great things to come. All of which of course isn’t actually my doing, but by the grace of God I have come this far, and have faith that I will continue to walk the path paved for me. Every 100 posts I do a short overview of what has come, and what I hope to accomplish in the next one hundred. This year in the last 17 days I’ve had 494 views, 300 visitors. Last year 8,181 views, 4,111 visitors, with a total of 8,675 views, 4,411 visitors. The outreach hasn’t expanded as I had hopped it would, but as it was once told to me, even if I can just reach one, then it was all worth it. With all of that I’ve reached 100 countries, and hope to continue to grow and reach more. I myself have done nothing, and without the graces of God I would have achieved nothing on my own. I hope that as I move forward this year 2018, I shall continue to grow and spread the gospel of the Lord in a way I can reach people and make people interested in hearing the word of God. While we may never know all of which our works may do, as long as it’s pleasing for one the Lord above, nothing else matters. I’ve spent almost a full year now writing, and preaching the Gospel as a Disciple of Christ and I pray I can continue to preach and teach as the days continue to move forward.

As always there have been a few people in my life that have made this possible for me. They have kept my course straight and true. Rev. Glen Newsom my go to for questions, for guidance, and as my teacher and best friend. Dr. M. David Chambers is my Pastor, and the occasional guiding star to make sure my course stays straight. Heather Todd, my close friend that helped start me on this path. Nikinzie, the women behind the man, the closest friend I have other then Glen. She’s my go to, my confidant; she is my friend when I’m in the darkest of places. She is my ear when I need to talk, and my shoulder when I need to cry, and my sounding board when I need to yell. She supports me every day, and I don’t think I’d be where I am today if it weren’t for her support. There was a great quote from X-Men, “Just because someone stumbles and loses their path, doesn’t mean they’re lost forever.” (Charles Xavier) While I have stumbled along the way, I have felt great despair, and sadness, with momentary moments of joy and clarity, I know that while I often question if I’m still on the right path, those around me assure me I am. I know that this path is long, and while I stumble and fall, those around me help me and remind me God’s still with me no matter what. I will keep going, keep writing, keep reaching those around the world and know that my heart and my path will remain true.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

His Cross

His Cross

My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me? Have you ever felt abandoned by God? Have you ever felt as if you were all alone in this world trying to fight the fight every day but all the while loosing ground, loosing the battle? You aren’t alone in that feeling. You and I have fought hard to be where we are. We have lost loved ones, we’ve been knocked to the ground probably more then once. We’ve lost our jobs, our friends, maybe even a spouse, (or two in my case.) The thing is though, you’ve never been without God’s presence, and you’ve never been without God’s unyielding love. Let us start down this adventure together and I’ll show you how I know this to be true.

Psalm 22 “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?” This Psalm was written by King David and it clearly shows He’s having a hard time. He says all who come to him mock him, and that he is a worm and not a man, scorned, and mocked. All the while he is crying out to God to be near him, and expresses the deepest pains in his heart. He uses the word forsaken, which means a personal abandonment. God had not actually left David, he merely felt that He had. Later in scripture, we see these words used again. This however is only a small part of what this psalm really meant. This is what’s called a Messianic Psalm, describing the events of the crucifixion.

Matthew 27:46 “And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” In that moment the God above had separated from the man. This needed to happen to allow the blood on the cross to be spilt as an innocent life was freely sacrificed to be the ransom of all mankind’s sins. Matthew 20:28  “even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Jesus was explaining his purpose, the reason for him giving himself up as sacrifice. Jesus became the sacrificial lamb, to take on the sins of man from the past, the present and the future. He was the ransom paid for the sins that separated God from man. In MacArther it’s explained as this, ‘Abandonment of God separating the father and son as the outpouring of divine wrath on Christ as the Sin barer.’ We don’t truly understand what this means and how deep that sacrifice truly is. We don’t understand what exactly was at stake for mankind if a sacrifice wasn’t made for us. We sparsely understand the true meaning of Hell. We don’t understand that Hell is a place for eternal damnation and torment. Matthew 25:46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.” It’s also described in Revelation 21:8 “but the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters, and all liars-they will be cosigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.” Hell, is a place of pain, and a complete absence of God’s blessings. 2 Thessalonians 1:9 “They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from glory of his might.” This is a complete lack of grace, and hope and yet this is a place the Lord Christ traveled to after his death on the cross. 1 Peter 3:18-19 “For Christ also suffered[a] once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit,19 in which[b] he went and proclaimed[c] to the spirits in prison,” Jesus became the victor over death. Jesus bore the sins of man, and concurred the Devil’s temptations, and lies, and just to show the power of Christ over death did a victory lap in Hell, preaching to the souls that remained there.

Christ was a substitute for the wrath of God’s hatred of sin. We see this in 2 Corinthians 5:20-21 “20 We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21 God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” Jesus was without sin, but was treated as all the sin in the entire world. We often complain about our lives and how bad our situation is, but objectively we have to truly question if our lives are as bad as they seem. Even on the worst of days we are still promised to one day be rid of our tears, and because of Christ we have the hope of eternal peace when we finally go home. Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” We wouldn’t have this had it not been for Christ.

While Christ died for us on His cross, we are told to pick up our own and follow. Luke 9:23 “23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” We will have our own trials, our own struggles. In our troubles, our struggles, our heartbreaks, and hardships, we are told to turn to the Lord. We are trained from birth to trust, and somewhere along the way we stop. We should always remember to turn to the Lord in our good times and our bad. When we feel like we can’t take another step, when we can’t take another breath, remember to turn to the Lord and ask for strength. Psalm 23:1-423 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” In all things we will have our own burdens, but in those we are never alone. We are never forgotten, nor are we forsaken. God’s love is never ending, and unyielding. We can’t let the lies of the Devil pull us from the truth. The Devil wants us to blame God for our troubles. The Devil wants us to forget about the grace of God. The Devil tried to drive a wedge and plays on our sins, our desires, our flaws, in order to break the bond with our heavenly Father.

We owe Jesus everything for saving us. Without the blood of Christ we would be stuck in bondage. We would be doomed to die an empty death, and live a life with no hope at all. Life would be worthless and bare if there was no hope for what comes after death. Because the path was paved in blood for us, we no longer walk in darkness. Today, if we are in darkness, it’s darkness of our own doing. If we are to walk this life we should be walking with a purpose. We have so much to live for, so much to be thankful for, and with that thanks we have a reason to celebrate the Love of the Lord. We should be sharing the good news of our Savior who gave all for us. When we truly understand the sacrifice made, and the stakes that were on the table, we would look at life differently. We must be grateful, and in that we must study and know God. We must understand the meaning and the truth of the light and the glory that is God above. We have everything to look forward to, and hope for. Even in our darkest of hours, we can only loose our lives. We never loose our salvation, and that’s worth more then all the money and gold in the world, or other worldly possessions.

 

 

 

 

 

Be God’s Lego’s 2

Be God’s Lego’s 2

We are hand crafted to do a job, a very specific job we are born to do, designed directly by God. Ephesians 2:10 “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” We often feel our calling and we tell God he’s wrong, and he’s mistaken, and there’s no way you can do what God has asked of you. My associate pastor said this once, “When you run from Gods call, you run from Gods blessing” (Rev. Glen Newsome) How can we expect to have the blessings if we ignore God? Do we expect to get presents on Christmas from family members? Sure we do, but what if they are family we never talk to, we never go see, we never call, do we expect to receive gifts from them? No of course not, so why do we expect to always receive grace from God if we don’t have a relationship with Him? How long will you run away from your calling? How long will you ignore your God given gifts for the things you want instead? We must realize that the things important to God for us may not be what’s popular, it may not be what society says is right, or truth, but scripture is the truth. God loved you to create you, and has a plan for you, and we must learn to let go of our sinful selves and follow the path God wants for you. What’s that you may ask? Be God’s Lego’s.

I have preached on Lego’s in the past, and I felt it was time to revisit it. I’ve sat by lately and I’ve watched as some of my friends have struggled to gain traction. I’ve watched as they barely make ends meat, and it breaks my heart. I offered someone recently to sit down with them to help them figure out why they are struggling financially so much. Having gone through my own struggles, and having gone through Financial Peace University, and having gotten myself to be debt free, I know I have been given the gift to make and follow a budget. God has given me a gift, and while I’m by no means the best at it, I can absolutely help others with it. God has given me the gift of words, and a fair gift of photography, and with it I have followed that path God has set in front of me, and I’ve been blessed for it.

I have recently gotten back into building Lego sets and it’s reminded me how we are all created for a particular purpose. There isn’t an instruction manual to guide us one day to the next, but when we understand that when we spend our waking moments working on our gifts and spreading the Gospel through the gifts God has given to us, we will always find ourselves having more then we need. When we run from our calling we will never truly be as happy as we should be. Running from the Abba of the universe will never leave us as satisfied with our lives as we would ever want. Philippians 2:13 “for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” No matter what we do with our life we need to treat our gifts as a seedling planted in the ground. We must water and treat and nourish our gifts so we can be pleasing to the Lord. Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” Following the Lord is neither easy, nor smooth, but anything worthwhile having is worth putting forth the effort.

We are the clay in which God has made us. We have been sculpted from the breath of life and we are exactly who God meant for us to be. Jeremiah 18:5-6 “Then the word of the Lord came to me: 6 “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done? declares the Lord. Behold, like the clay in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel.” We are meant to live a life and walk a path. We are the result of love incarnate and when we look to our life and we see how difficult the path is, we should remember that from the day we were born, we learn, we grow, we experience things that prepare us for life further down the road. We can’t skip pages in the building process. When building Lego’s we can’t go from step 3 skipping to step 29 thinking it’s going to work out. We must be ready for the next step and to get there we must unfortunately go through a little pain, a little suffering, a little joy, a little happiness, all to prepare us for what’s to come. You can’t skip grades in school unless you’re ready for it. You certainly cannot move on if you haven’t achieved the goals set in front of you, achieving the expectations of you.

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Completing a Lego set is satisfying for me. It takes hours of concentration, attention to detail, and dedication to complete each individual set. God has put a lot of effort into us not to give us every effort, everything we need to accomplish the mission. God would never let us go into battle without the tools we need to defeat the enemy, and we have the instructions to life at every inch we take. The Bible is now easier to get then it ever has been. We can get it on our smart devices, any bookstore, in any language, and in so many version to make it easier to understand then ever before. We complain about not knowing where to go, or what to do, but we don’t turn to the only truth we’d ever need. We don’t look to God to give us the next step. We don’t turn to God when we are stuck and aren’t sure where to go. We don’t trust the creator, and to me that’s like me saying, I’m not sure this peace actually goes there, and questioning the instruction manual for any of the Lego sets I’ve ever built. When we trust in the Lord and follow the plan, we will one day get to the end of the road and we’ll be able to look back and say, ‘that makes so much sense now.’ We don’t have to understand the struggles and the why, we just have to have faith that when we are following the plan as designed, we will move from one step to the next and what we will build to leave behind will be to do the only thing important in this world, to love and glorify God. So, let God build you, shape you, design you, and when you follow your gifts to glorify God, good things will come your way. God will always make good on His promises, and he promises a good, not evil things.

Trust in the Lord and lead not unto your own understanding, and believe that the only purpose is to serve God’s purpose. Everything we endure, everything we experience is for a reason, and we must trust that to be the Lego’s of God means to love God, to do works for God, and we should be content with our place and purpose because we are worth the effort God has put in to us. We are one of a kind and that means whatever our purpose is, we are the only one built to accomplish that purpose.

 

 

 

 

 

To Boldly Go

To Boldly Go

“Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before.” ST: TNG

 Those are words I grew up knowing, repeating, and aspiring too. Growing up I watched Trek every week. I grew to love Star Trek the next generation and I clung to Jean-Luke Picards character. As I grew and watched as his character develop I found drawn to his style of diplomacy, his leadership, his morals, and his desire to see the betterment of mankind. He was driven by the thought that all mankind should be driven to better themselves, and everyone should be given a chance to reach their full potential. On numerous occasions he took in those who made mistakes and he offered them a chance of redemption. For me Picard was a roll model I strived to be like. For me Picard was a father figure that I wanted to be like.

In our every day walk with Christ are we looking to our heavenly father as our roll model? Do we act boldly in our walk with Christ? Do we strive to be better Christians? With our every day walk we should always strive to boldly go, to explore our Christianity, to seek out those in need of Jesus light. We must always go out with the explorers’ heart. We must always seek ways to share the gospel with those whom we come into contact with. Matthew 28:18-20 18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Are you living the great commission? Are you walking with Christ as a close personal friend? Are you spreading the joy and the love of Jesus Christ? I think we get caught up in our every day routine that we forget the most important aspect of being a Christian. It’s not just praying, and going to church. It’s not about the Christmas services, and the monthly meals at church. It’s about the Holy Spirit moving in your heart, pushing you to spread the word because of how it’s changed your life. When you live your life as a Christian are you doing it on the sidelines, saying the prayers, doing the walk, but just getting by? Are you inspired by the Holy Spirit to share the Living God, the Waters that wash away your sins daily? Are you excited to talk about God because of the wonderful things He’s done for you, or are you silent, reserved, held back? Let me tell you, if you aren’t talking about it, if you aren’t crying in the car listening to K-Love, or other Christian music stations, why isn’t the Holy Spirit moving in you?

I watched a trailer for a movie called “I can only imagine.” I cried just during the trailer. My best friend sang this not long before he died. (18 years old) When I listen to the words of the world phenomenon, I ask myself the same questions. See, I had a short glimpse of what awaits me. I didn’t see anything, but what I heard would forever change my life. As I was in an ambulance dying, bleeding out, I heard the voice of God, and the aww, and fear, and shame I had being in that situation rocked me to my very core. I heard the voice of my creator, and I felt the presence of something much bigger then myself. I found that I wouldn’t ever do enough to be worthy of God’s love, God’s grace, God’s forgiveness, but in the presence of God I was given a second chance. I was told two words that would forever alter my life, “You’re forgiven.” Since then I have found a zest for life, and not a day goes by I don’t talk about how great God is. See, I did something that was almost unforgivable, but God saved me for a purpose. I can hear the words of my best friend in my head. The thing is I don’t have to imagine anymore. While it was only a short glimpse and only by sound, I know if the wonders of what I heard is only just part of it, I know that Heaven is real and perfect.

I can only Imagine, By: MercyMe

 I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk, by your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When you face is before me
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

Surrounded by You glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus
Or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in your presence
Or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah
Will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine when that day comes
When I find myself standing in the Son
I can only imagine when all I would do is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for You, Jesus
Or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence
Or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah
Will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine hey ya ah

Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for You, Jesus
Or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in Your presence
Or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah
Will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine hey ya ah

 If you’ve been touched by the Holy Spirit don’t imagine what it would be like alone, share the good news with any and all who would listen. Go out boldly and preach and teach the word of God. Don’t sit on the sidelines, when you get to Heaven don’t you want your brothers and sisters with you in paradise? The presence of God would be indescribable. The words above are so powerful, they often move me to tears. For me I had just a glimpse, but if that changed my life forever, I can only imagine what it would be like when I’m there. I often think of my friend John sitting with Jesus and I can say I’m often envious and sad at the same time. Remembering him I often cry at both my own sorrows, but also the great gifts that God has seen to bestow upon me. When I think of the great commission I cannot help but think of the opening to Star Trek: TNG. I wish to go Bodly to places I’ve never been, to reach out and meet new people, spreading the Gospel, and the good news of Jesus Christ. The light of the world shines so bright, and we have already forgotten the meaning of CHRISTmas in our lives. With every breath we take we ought to be thankful for it. With every day’s dawning of light we have a new chance to walk more closely to Christ. Be a beacon of hope, of light, and go forth and make disciples of the flowing waters that is Jesus Christ. With every breath you take say Hallelujah. Christ came for you and me, to die for us. The sins that forced the nails through the Lambs hands and feet, and the blood of the Savior ran down from the crown of thorns we placed upon his head. A sacrifice made to break the bonds of sin, reconnecting us to God, and how do we treat that sacrifice? As Christians we should be ashamed of ourselves. We have allowed the darkness to spread while we’ve remained silent. We’ve let it into our homes, our lives, our country, our cities, and we’ve sat by and done very little to fight back. In the words of Picard, “We’ve made too many compromises already, too many retreats. They invade our space, and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds, and we fall back. Not again! The line must be drawn here! This far, no further!” While I realize he’s talking about the Borg, we’ve allowed the Devil to invade every aspect of our lives, and we have done nothing to fight back. I agree, the line must be drawn here, this far, no further.