Tag: joy

Throat punched

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Throat punched
So as I sit here with my neck in a brace, when I talk not only do I sound it, I feel like I’ve been throat punched. Yes that’s what happens when you have surgery. But let me tell you. I couldn’t be more lucky. Gods grace and perfect timing all the time. 
There were complications in surgery. My disc ruptured and fluid went into my spinal column. They cleaned it up but I needed to be closely watched. There may have been some hematoma around my incision. 
Thankfully the rupture was found and didn’t do permanent damage. In all the CT’s, the risky MRI (because of shrapnel in my lung) not one of these scans showed the disk had ruptured. As I’m not a doctor I cannot obviously speak clearly of the dangers of that fluid where it doesn’t belong. But I do know it’s BAD! 
Because Gods perfect in His timing and love everything went well even with the complications. Even the new raspier voice I have just plays into effect when I wear the mask. All things considered I’m pretty darn happy. 
Yesterday I couldn’t squeeze my ball and now I can squeeze it with all my might and it’s beautiful. I can walk with my head held high and arms swinging. Gods touched my body through the hands of my surgeons and have given me my life back. I may have some troubles the rest of my life but for now, it seems all of that is within acceptable limits. 
Believe in the power of prayer and love. From the prayer shawl I received from my church, the love of my Associate Pastor, my mom, and everyone near and far that prayed for me before during and after my surgery. All this prayer I have felt the reward. I know I live on to fight the Devil for another day. 
For you all wary souls like my one was, take heart knowing the Lord of all the wonders of this world is with you, right there suffering your sufferings. Believe and know the faithful, the just, the kind, will be rewarded. We may not always say or do the right things to one another but we must know it and apologize for it. Own up to our mistakes and ask for the forgiveness we should. 
Stay connected to God and be blessed by his touch. God bless all of you! 

Finding Happiness

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Finding Happiness

This seems to be a pursuit that most people are on for the vast majority of their lives. It’s strange how hard it is. We often look for happiness in items, in trinkets or people. I have always struggled with this aspect of my life. Even when I have everything I could ever need, I am always looking towards the horizon. I guess a part of me always felt to be happy meant to be improving my situation, making more friends, finding more people to talk to, always building my marriage. I guess I could have been considered to be Debby Downer for at least a good portion of the time. What is it I was seeking I wonder, what was it that kept me looking for more? The truth is there was something missing in my life, Jesus. When I realized I hadn’t given myself up to the Lord, not completely, by the time I did it was too late, my life, as I had known it was over. I put so much into my worldly possessions, my wife, my home, my job, and my friends, that in one big event, my very foundation cracked and toppled my own personal city. The changes in my life would be abrupt and violent. They would reshape my personal universe and it would never be the same again.

What’s the trick though to finding that happy place? In Peter Pan it’s finding a happy memory, one memory that stands out of pure joy to hold on to. Even in the midst of so much pain and anguish we are surely able to come up with something. One thing I’ve found is we place so much on the world, that we forget this isn’t the end. Sure we don’t want to be miserable day in and day out either, but it’s more about the mission, the journey, the race, then it is about today. When we change our mindset to the present, the mission Jesus gave to us, and we take heed to the lessons Christ taught us and the teaching of the disciples, we will find that happiness is rejoicing in the Lord and the Lord alone. There will be trouble but in that trouble we can use those times to show the kind of person we are. We can make those horrible situations into a teaching lesson for others, and show how God wants us to behave even when the odds are stacked against us, even when their looks to be no worldly hope, because to say there’s no hope is a lie. There were many times when King David had the odds stacked against him, but it was through the grace of God that he emerged victorious. Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” It’s not an easy thing to be content when you’re in suffering. It’s harder to find happiness in the midst of want and destruction. Philippians 4:11 “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” Human nature is to want and want more, want what we can’t have, and often take what we want even if it’s not ours to have.

2 Timothy 3:1-7 “3 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. 6 For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, 7 always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.” When we go through life taking what we want no matter the consequences we find ourselves destroying the very fabric of order in the world. I was recently the victim of something like this. With no limit to the amount of pain one feels when something near and dear to them is taken away, alas the pain is more when it’s done so by more then one party. The sad truth is greed and desires of the worldly flesh now resonate with the world. Paul Harvey did a report on ‘If I was the Devil.” During this little expo he noted that if he was the Devil he’d convince the world that drugs are okay, that swinging is more fun, that hard work is no longer the wave of the future.

I think the pursuit of happiness falls within each moment. I believe that to truly find it you need to learn to change your mindset away from the pain and suffering and embrace them. How we embrace our pain is hard. How we find contentment even in the center of the worst storms we may face is never an easy task. For every situation however there must be at least something that is positive, there must be at least some light at the end of the tunnel. We often spend so much time focused on the negative part of a tough spot that we fail to look at the positive situations and be thankful for them. For me this has been a long hard struggle and I am by no means perfect at this, but everyday I try to work towards this goal. Am I happy every day and do I find joy in my sufferings, of course not. But what I do find is a little bit of peace knowing that God is in control over everything I am going through, and when others hurt me, or forsake me, I know that God has not. People will say and do mean things to you for a variety of reasons, each more plausible as the next. As much as it hurts that trust and loyalty may be broken, know that through this situation you will learn, you will grow, and you can make your tomorrow a better place. When a forest grows to big purging fires must take place in order for the forest to grow back and regain some of what was lost. Our lives it seems are much in the same. Sometimes we must let go of the baggage that weighs us down. We must learn to let go of people who are always bringing us down. Now, I will say this, when I say bringing us down, I don’t mean people who are going through rough times. What I mean by that is when people actively say things to you to bring you down, or are negative and hurtful. If someone is not actively trying to be there for you, to lift you up, to help you get out of the hole you’re in, those are the people you don’t need around anymore.

Don’t fall victim to your own pain, don’t let your pain or your own struggles from finding the happy places in your life. When we truly embrace and accept that bad things will happen, and truly embrace the fact that God is sovereign we can let go of many of the pessimistic views we once held. We all loose friends, we all loose our jobs, our families, our loved ones; it’s a matter of life following its natural evolution. Be glad for the positive things you can take out of your memories, and cast away the sorrows. Don’t let life pass you by in misery; it’s too short to do so. Don’t be a slave to this world. Don’t let the world dictate who you are. The world cannot define you, only you can do that. You have the power to show the people around you how you handle each situation, and in every case you are the only one who can show who you are. As one of my favorite quotes go, “It’s not who I am underneath, it’s what I do that defines me.” (Batman Begins)

 

The Absence of Manners and Accountability

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The Absence of Manners and Accountability

When you’re trying to get back out there and meet new people after a divorce it can be tough. The world’s a different place now then what it was 15 years ago. This new age of mini computers seconded as phones, Internet accessibility, apps a dime a dozen at the app store, and texting. We’ve become a culture of faceless conversations if we have conversations at all. We abbreviate everything, we no longer use complete and accurate sentences, and worst of all it appears we no longer know how to make a conversation work, even if it’s just small talk.

I’ve noticed that when you are trying to get to know someone, or at least when I’m trying to get to know someone, I tend to ask a lot of questions. Their likes, dislikes, and favorites of whatever I can think of. I’ll ask a ton of questions, but I notice I’m not being asked anything. A few thoughts run through my head. Are they interested? They don’t care to know the small stuff, or the art of communication is dead.

There may be another possibility all together, manners and accountability. Do we forget that the people on the other side of the phone are people? We don’t have a connection with them, we’ve never met them, we’ve never seen them, so if we just drop them, that’s it, they’re gone. There’s no accountability for it because all you have to do is block a number, and soon they fade out of memory all together. Oh I’ve gotten every manor of excuses regarding long periods of absence. I was busy however is the most common. The idea of busy doesn’t escape my thought. Perhaps they are busy. Too busy to send a 10 second text to say you’re busy? See there in lies the lack of manners. It’s just rude behavior. Years ago, I was taught when I received a letter it was rude not to reply. It’s the same if someone gets you a gift, you reply with a thank you card. During Christmas or weddings, thank you cards are very common, but more importantly known as proper etiquette. It seems this is a lacking part of human society today.

The result of leaving someone high and dry can be hurtful for them. No matter the circumstance, when you leave someone without warning, without apparent provocation, it’s easy for that person to become self conscious, asking themselves what they did, was it something they said, did someone better come along? Sadly these thoughts and feelings have come to the surface for me. After the divorce I became much more noticeable when people drop off for months on end. The part that hurts the most is when it’s in the middle of a conversation. They see the message, you know they have, and then all of a sudden they are gone. Maybe it’s a character flaw I need to work on, but I find that to be very rude. I know a lot of people that do it often, and I’ve met new people that do it and they are gone forever.

I think part of the big problem is conflict. It’s easier to walk away and leave someone with questions, then be honest and have a real conversation. I think people run away at the first word that they don’t care for. Have we really become so sensitive? No matter the ups and downs in life we should be kind and respectful. We never truly know the impact we have on someone, and if we only get to give them a snapshot of who we are, make the best impression you can. I respect someone so much more that responds with a message saying I’m not his or her type, rather than be ignored. Being ignored by friends is so much worse though. I get it people you’re busy, you have lives, and it would be somewhat alright if you only did it once in a while, but people that do it all the time, well that’s different.

Just be nice and respectful, really it’s not that hard. With the wide-open world at our fingertips, we can look over the world and pick and choose what we want. That doesn’t give you the right to be cruel, or inconsiderate. If you have the power to make someone’s day a little brighter, or at least leave them with a good impression, be a good Christian steward. If we are to love our neighbors as Christ commanded then if we are all one body, then treating someone with disrespect or being inconsiderate is like treating yourself that way. Fruit for thought.

For me, the technology created an outlet. Growing up how lonely and miserable I was I wished I could connect with more people. Sadly it’s a good and bad thing at the same time. As I myself spend a lot of time alone by sheer happenstance, I find the possibilities endless, which is great, till you get let down. Double the potential, double the potential for failure also. Really what it comes down to is priority. What we do in our lives and where people rank, or even things. It’s easy to forget the positive impacts simple gestures can have on people, and not knowing the baggage or burdens someone carries, how badly our actions can hurt someone, albeit unintentionally.

Winds

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Winds

The winds of change flow against the flesh like a river. Eyes closed with wings spread taking the fall. Fly or hit a choice made, but never for the faint of heart. The never ending supply of life forcing us to sink or swim. Change always coming as sure as the rivers find their way to the oceans. So open those eyes, and choose to fly. The sky is the limit, and joy is within reach!

There’s no need for that

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There’s no need for that

We never know how long someone’s a major part of our lives. We never know when things will drive a wedge and crumble. Smile and say goodbye. That’s about all we can do. People come and go and we don’t know why. We don’t know the roll they will play but for every trumpet solo another ensemble will pop up and take the new lead. Have faith and pray for them. Do not be mad or dismayed. It hurts for sure, but life keeps going, and it all works out according to Gods plan.

Sometimes we can make a life changing decision without thought of the consequences. The sad truth is sometimes we can feel so lost, so distraught, so alone, even if it’s just in our own minds, for some it’s near impossible to know the road that leads up to someone who’s either attempted or succeeded in suicide. Some consider suicide a coward’s way out. While I couldn’t disagree more, I know from personal experience how traumatic the experience is for everyone involved. There is a sense of betrayal and selfish thoughts that come from the ones left behind. I myself have both lost loved ones, and have almost lost loved ones. While suicide isn’t as simple as cowardice or weak, the truth is slightly different and as there is research upon research for suicide, one common theme is seen. “In general, people do not commit suicide because they are in pain, they commit suicide because they don’t believe there is a reason to live and the world will be better off without them. “ (PsychologyToday.com) Of course it’s not always as simple as a common road map. “By dealing with deep distress and emotional pain by harming yourself with acts such as cutting, burning, sticking objects in your skin, or intentionally preventing wounds from healing, you are becoming increasingly capable of suicide.” Just because there is not or has not been past evidence of harm, doesn’t mean that enough buried pain, enough buried guilt, and sorrow, can’t be enough to have someone take their own life, or inflict extreme harm upon one’s self.

Most people have a fight or flight response, a natural inclination for self-preservation. If life offers so much pain, so much suffering, so much despair to override a basic biological urge to preserve ones self from harm or death, why then is it so hard for people to realize the courage it takes, the passion it takes to do such things to ones self. No, when someone is feeling that much despair the thoughts of loved ones, consider how they would feel if you were gone, is not usually a thought, thought of. Quite honestly often times when someone kills himself or herself they believe they are doing the world a favor. Sometimes the act is brought on so quickly no warning signs are present.

Does this mean someone’s anger gives them right to do whatever they want to the victim of self-harm? Why do people recoil instead of showering the victim in love? Why do people choose to hate or anger over love? Instead of asking ‘how could you leave me?’ ask instead ‘why did you feel so alone and hopeless?’ When someone attempts self-harm it isn’t about narcissism. Sometimes when a person has a long history of bullying, quick and sudden relationship changes, traumatic experiences, loneliness, eating disorders, existential crisis, and more, can be reasons someone who undergoes an unexpected trauma can attempt self-harm.

We should not judge to harshly about those who suffer. Instead follow the teachings of Christ, to love. People who are going through enough pain and suffering need a loving embrace more so then most. The battle does not end when the victim is released from the hospital. The battle continues and can be a long-term continuation of care. A person who looses enough self respect to loose logic, and life needs to be held and loved, not treated with anger and hatred.

There is already too much hatred in this world. People are so quick to use foul language, quick to cause pain on people around us. It is often easier to let anger and loathing dictate our emotions when some emotions are already heightened. When we are stressed and aggravated why are some so easily provoked?

Yesterday while I work, I witnessed a coworker trying to be nice, and helpful, courteous and understanding and all he got in return was distain and swear words. Sadly it came from both a mother and her teenage daughter. So many other parents noted how well my colleague handled the situation and all who witnessed told me about how well he did and had nothing but high praise. Something so simple, something so simple yet others seem to have a hard time with it, nice, kindness, these things almost seem like a distant memory.

Sadly in my own life I’ve witnessed more hatred in others then I’d care to admit for this world. Recent events in my life point me to the Book of Job. A man who looses everything in his life, his wife, children, home, wealth, his own health, all taken from him. The thing that surprised me most about it was how his friends treated him. I never put much stock in that part until it happened to me. Through the trials I’ve been through, and the unfortunate ‘drama’ as of late, I always figured I could count on my friends. As we all do, mistakes were made on my part, but I never once thought a friend would use that as the catalyst to blame me for all of my ongoing pains in my life. My unfortunate circumstance is why that friend distanced themselves from me, because they didn’t want or need it in their life. A friend who isn’t directly involved decided to be more of a conditional friend to me. When the times get tough, call me later. As the conversation progressed I learned the sad truth, that friend holds a lot of anger towards me because of something that happened 8 months ago. It’s a sad day when you must say goodbye, when it’s best for all parties to bid adieu.

We all make mistakes in our life and some of them are big enough to haunt us the rest of our days. Let me tell you this, if a friend can’t see the pain inside you, can’t see how much suffering you’re in, it’s because they don’t want to. If a friend can’t forgive you for a mistake, something that would have changed the course of a life, it’s a sad day. You may loose friends because of these types of days, but God will never leave or forsake you.

One Step Away by: Casting Crowns

 

What if you could go back and relive one day of your life all over again

And unmake the mistake that left you a million miles away

From the you, you once knew

Now yesterday’s shame keeps saying that you’ll never get back on track

But what if I told you

You’re one step away from surrender

One step away from coming home, coming home

One step from arms wide open

His love has never let you go

You’re not alone

You’re one step away

 

You’re never too far-gone, never alone if you just lay down the old chains and pick up the cross and follow Christ. Don’t think for one second you’re alone. No matter what there are people who can help you. There are so many crisis lines, so many organizations who want to help. If you’re low and thinking about suicide or self harm pick up the phone. If you’re battling depression or anxiety, there are those who know that pain and are always willing to share and talk.

No matter the road you may be on, there’s always hope if that road is full of unhappiness. Don’t loose hope and never quit. God is bigger and better then we could ever hope or imagine. It’s not something that is easy, but with time and practice life gets better. Be proactive and take charge. Shed a life of negativity for one of hope and love. Live by faith, and understand Gods glory.

If you are bullied, picked on, teased, insulted, remember that as much as those things hurt, there’s a way out. Jesus Christ endured all of those things, until he was murdered brutally for us. He suffered torture that could only be described as the worlds hatred and malice in one long excruciating beating that nearly left him dead. He was mocked as he struggled to carry the cross to his final resting place. He was placed on a cross were breathing would be unbearable. He was mocked and yet while this was happening he had the strength to ask God to forgive us. Forgive one another for the things we do. Love one another and don’t keep score of the bad. Just love. Don’t let anger and hatred fill your soul like a cancer. Love and believe. Look to the heavens and see the light shine through the clouds and know the clouds will be burned away and all that’s left is the sun.

 

References:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/curious/201405/why-do-people-kill-themselves-new-warning-signs

http://mentalhealthdaily.com/2014/07/23/15-common-causes-of-suicide-why-do-people-kill-themselves/

The Embrace of God

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The Embrace of God

Have you have felt so lost and afraid you didn’t know where to turn or what to do next? The last 8 months of my life have been filled with plenty of those days. Thankfully for me there is plenty of scripture to help those in need. Isaiah 50:44 “The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary: he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned.” There have been many players who’ve been important to continue to carry on the plot in our great story. There have been particular people along the way who’ve had a special relationship with God in order to give us the tools to reach salvation, the final stage in our story. Although God has been angry with humanity in the past, today, the covenant hold true. Psalm 86:15 “But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” It’s the love of God that gives us our comfort. Psalm 33:22 “May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you.” No matter how big or small a mistake we make, God will always be with us, because there is always hope that before our last breath we can give our lives to the Lord. Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

When you need that proverbial hug from the big guy upstairs, may I suggest, Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” And John 16:33 “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

 Some day’s scripture may not provide the comfort we’d like or hope for, but never the less, I guarantee it would be better to have it then the alternative to not. When I was in Paris I fell in love with a particular sculpture Cupid and Psyche’s Embrace, or sometimes called Psyche Revived by Cupid’s Kiss. Although this is from Roman mythology it always reminds me of the sweet tender nature of the one true God.

We may not always feel as if God is there with us, but fear not God isn’t going anywhere. James 1:2 “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,” No matter how weary and low we get know that God will always be at the ready and by our side. Isaiah 40:28 “Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.” Don’t get me wrong, I often feel weak and low, but that’s when I rely more on my faith to get me through. When my faith is low and I don’t feel like I can carry my own cross anymore, there’s only one thing I can do. I listen to

Lean On Me.

 Sometimes in our lives we all have pain

We all have sorrow

But if we are wise

We know that there’s always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you’re not strong

And I’ll be your friend

I’ll help you carry on

For it won’t be long

‘Til I’m gonna need

Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride

If I have faith you need to borrow

For no one can fill those of your needs

That you won’t let show

You just call on me brother, when you need a hand

We all need somebody to lean on

I just might have a problem that you’ll understand

We all need somebody to lean on

 As Great as this is when referring to a friend, think of it more if God is that friend to lean on. God will always be there to lighten our load. We can’t get help if we don’t ask. God will always put someone in our life for us to lean on. We just need to look in the right place.

Pushing Buttons

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Pushing Buttons

Do you ever push someone’s buttons just to see where it goes? Do you ever try to get under their skin because you can? Do you ever get them aroused because you can? What about someone you aren’t close to anymore. Do you try to hurt someone out of spite? When you love someone how does that love turn to contempt? What happens to someone to create so much anger or hatred or contempt?

Ephesians 4:22 “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;”

Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

Anger breeds from sin. Anger can also come from your own dislike or hatred for yourself. Being miserable in your own life can cause you to lash out at others. James 1:20 “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”

 Proverbs 16:7 “When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.” No matter the buttons that are pressed or the anger that it may bring, conduct yourself with honor and a manner pleasing to God. Remember to love thy enemies, and take no vengeance for yourself. Romans 12:10 “Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” Loving your enemies is possibly the hardest things you will ever do. Luke 6:27 “But I say to you people who are listening to me, love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you.” Matthew 5:44 “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

 No matter the pain inflicted, as much as we can love one another, forgive like Jesus asked to have us forgiven. As we did not deserve the forgiveness of our Father we received it just the same. Never give up on love, and never give up on those who hurt us. A lifetime is a long occasion, and through God all things are possible. People can change through Christ. Have faith, and pray. All our life will be accounted for and we must answer to the Lord for everything we do, every word spoken. Be right with God for we never know when the day of judgement will arrive.

We Can Only Imagine

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We Can Only Imagine

We can only imagine how life will be tomorrow. We can never fully prepare for the war that awaits us, or the absolute joy around the corner. We can never imagine how our lives will change day to day, but what we find is ourselves loving Jesus for the promise at the end of the race. We have been promised the best gift of all and during the path to get there we will cry, we will laugh, but when we finally get home we will be in the aww of God, we will fall to our knees and sing praises to the one true King. We can only imagine what the greatness will be like, we can only imagine how eternity will be. We can only guess what tomorrow will bring, we can only imagine those who will hurt us. We can only imagine those who will fall before us, those will rise to the call and we only have our eternal hope in the Lord. What will you do with the one life we have? Will you use it to lift up those around you, or will you use it for your own personal selfish gains? Some people live only for themselves, they don’t care who they hurt. Some people live to hurt others, while some live to praise the Lord, give him all the Glory. Be one of those, be a lion amongst the lambs. Be a soldier by living in the light. Show others the grace and love. Don’t hurt others in the pursuits of your own happiness. Be that someone that God uses to bring joy and light to the world. Be that warrior be that example. Be the reflection to the best of your ability of Christ. Love like we were taught, forgive as we were commanded.

The Passage of Time

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The Passage of Time

It’s amazing isn’t it how some days seem to fly by, but some days drag on? When you’re alone in isolation the clicking of that clock can seem slow, barely moving at all it seems. The perception concerning the times and the seasons, brothers, you have no need to have anything written to you. For you yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “There is peace and security,” then sudden destruction will come upon them as labor pains come upon a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.” It’s hard for us puny humans to except that time is both linear and perceptive.

When time is so finite how do we manage it? When life is going great and wonderful what are we doing with the time we are given? When life is terrible and full of sorrow, how are we managing it? I myself sit at home and often feel low and down about my situation. Spending much of my time in non-voluntary solitude, I find that as long as I am using my time wisely, as long as I’m still doing God’s work, I can emotionally manage the struggle. Ecclesiastes 3:11 “He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.” We are always so worried about getting stuff done, so worried about not having enough time to do everything in a day.

Have you ever thought about what happens when time runs out? Have you ever thought about when our time is up on this Earth, have we completed everything we wanted, have we live like we wanted too, have we seen the world, or did we squander the most precious gift we have, life/time. There have been many times in my life when I saw time slip by me, as the day should have turned into a forever sleep, but by the grace of God, time didn’t catch up to me on those days.

Some people are afraid of time. Some people are afraid to get older, but it’s been my experience that most of the time people who age also grow in wisdom. In many cultures to live to old age is to become a village elder. We should understand that time can be a friend. We often want time to go by more slowly, or more quickly, but what if we actually got to the point in our lives that we embraced exactly what time was for us because it’s God’s plan. James 4:14 “Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” We cannot worry about tomorrow for time is fleeting. Time is not always a friend to us when we are alone, and scared. Rejoice in the great times we have. Proverbs 27:1 “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.”

 When we have companionship it seems time goes by so quick. The joy we have not being alone, being with someone we love, being loved in return. When that time has passed however, the time alone seems so long indeed. Being with someone for 10 years, then that time is gone, 7 months feels and seems like an eternity. The Lord teaches us patience, but it’s difficult. The nights feel like ages, reaching for someone that doesn’t exist anymore. The time it takes to recover from heartbreak is different for everyone, but how that time is spent is distinctive to each person. As for me in the past I’ve had friends to get me out of the house, take me out, introduce me to new people. This time however has not gone smoothly. 7 months I’m told is not a long time. How do they come up with that? How does someone assume to know what is or is not a long time for you? The perception of the passage of time largely depends on how we feel about the moment. There’s a difference between being okay alone, and wanting to be. There’s also a big difference in being single, and being alone. Most people have a vast number of friends there for them to get them out of the house, to help them heal. What if you don’t have that? What is 48 hours in isolation verses 48 hours of parties? When someone tells you their weekends went by too fast, do you judge them on their passage of time? When someone spends 48 hours in a cell for 48 hours do you tell him or her it’s not that long? Who are we to judge how someone should feel? Who are we to tell someone how much time should pass for them to be okay? Before you judge someone, before you pass advice, perhaps you should take the time and ask how they feel, get to know their perception, and try to walk a mile in their shoes. Maybe that mile might seem longer when you try to understand. It’s best to have compassion. Have a little companion for the suffering of others. Understand that sometimes the hurt goes deeper then you may know. Pain is a tricky thing, and the amount of time it takes for that pain to go away even the shortest of times to ‘you’ could be an eternity for someone else. Don’t judge what you don’t fully understand.

We may sit in isolation, or sit in a group of friends. No matter the situation and how uncomfortable or enjoyable it may be, know that God is in control and we are precisely where we need to be. Have faith always.

Change of Plans

thearrowpreacher4 Comments

Change of Plans

 People keep asking me what my plans for the future are. Now that everything in my life has fallen to pieces, the time has come to come up with a new plan. What do we do though when life doesn’t go according to our own ideas? The case can be made that since we are just pieces on the board we cannot see the whole board. The day may come when the strength of this man may fail, but I will not allow failure for as long as I draw breath, or at least that’s my plan.

God however has a different perspective. Proverbs 16:9 “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” We take our life one step at a time, one small journey or adventure at a time. I often feel as if I am wondering in the woods alone and lost. As time ticks away I have to remind myself that I am not in control, and I must ask for guidance, ask for help, seek wise counsel. The fear that comes knowing we are not to be in command of our own destiny, but the Lord above has all the power.

Lately that worry and concern seems to have consumed my everyday waking thought. I have been left with the difficult task to force myself to trust in God. The constant undertaking to believe in the plan that I myself cannot see, is hard to say the least. The end may come, but we will never be alone. Lost we may feel, but truly we are not.

Someone asked me once how God could allow so much bad to happen in this world. Why children who’ve not yet grown should die early in life. The impact of one life can change the course of a life beyond our understanding, beyond our wildest dreams. One stone may not change the course of the river, but that same stone on a narrow wooded path can change ones footing, and that could change a great deal in that regard.

My goals in life where to get married and have kids to carry on my family name and blood, but as I am now older each major step in that direction has failed, I sadly question the why. I have lost two great loves in my life, and now as the change affects me more and more every day, I wonder what is the next step for me. As this blog has been a major outlet for me, and an outreach to others, I pray that I can continue to reach others in Christ’s name. We are but pieces on the board, but what piece are we? Look at some of the greatest most influential people in history, I am sure growing up they had no idea how important they would be in history.

We cannot judge our own importance because we ourselves are too close to fully understand our worth. The plans we have for ourselves are always going to change, they are always going to adapt, and sometimes we just need to let go of the reins and let God handle the details. The amount of faith it takes to uproot and move across the country, across the world, is great. Sometimes it’s necessary to do so without a plan, without a long-term objective, but that’s what faith is sometimes. A blind leap and pray that God will catch you before you hit the bottom. Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” The final word I give to you is that of Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”