Tag: joy

Light or Dark

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Light or Dark

The darkest night covers me and I need you

The sun fuels my heart and gives me warmth and strength. I need you then too.

Because of you I’m alive.

No matter where I am, or the season I’m in, my Lord I need you.

Who am I without you, I am no one.

The Lord of all knows my name.

 

The Lord who created in love not because of what I do, just because I am. I am a sinful man, but love saved me. Never because of what I’ve done, just because of what you are. No matter my of praise, or my day of prayer your grace comforts me. Today the flowers bloom, and tomorrow the ice shall come, but in all my day, and in all my ways I am yours. Because you are with me I shall not fear the night. The night was so dark without you, but your glory so bright the single ray of light when the sun peaks the horizon, the darkness breaks. Jesus Christ the pure light that would forever push the darkness away rose.

What do I have to offer the king of the universe, my heart, my everything, and yet I will never be worthy of the gift bestowed upon me. I can surrender all and even up to my life it would never cover the debt. But it is grace, and love my bill was covered by Christ. I was so loved before I was born that for me my sins and the sins of billions of others, a blood debt freely given, ransomed for my freedom of death. If my debt was paid when I’m knocked down, who then do I fight for? Christ got back up and his strength became my strength. I will get back up and continue to fight till my dying breath. I owe it to Christ to never give up and never surrender to the darkness.

God’s word has withstood the test of time, and even now as we can see the darkness covering the land, we will watch, as God’s will, will be done. Those who criticize the word and those who push to remove God’s presence from the public will one day stand in judgment. The light of the word may be pushed away but in time the raging tide will again be tamed by the Lord. God’s word will stand firm, and the darkness will be pushed back, snuffed out by the light. No matter how far we fall it’s never to late to change our course. We cannot stop praying, or hoping for God to save us. We cannot stop worshiping the Lord no matter if things are great, or if everything has been blown to a million pieces. Yesterday is gone and we don’t live there anymore. We must learn to say goodbye to the past, and live in today. The heart may have been broken yesterday, but every day we breath is a new day of growing, a new day of healing. We must tell ourselves every day that Jesus is still with us, and in his love we are healed. You cannot expect to have an answer for every tragedy that happens, and in our walk we must learn to focus on Jesus. This world is not the end, and one day the end will come on this life and the walls that kept us confined will be no more. This is not where we belong forever, and we can count on the promise made by Jesus to one day sit before the King and be accepted into the light. This life is but a fleeting speck of dust in the wind, and if we want to go home, know that this world will one day wash away.

Praise the Lord for success, and praise the Lord in failure. In every chance we get, both good and bad, fix your eyes on the one and only thing that will satisfy your heart and that’s Jesus. Life can be hard, and we are told to expect the trials that come, and the persecutions that come with following Christ, but “If you can take it, you can make it.” (Unbroken) I am a broken man, and I fail every day to live up to what God expects of me. I know I fail, and I know I fall, but I know that because of grace, and I know what true love means, I still stand here knowing God is with me. I know I have the power of the Holy Spirit with me and I’m called to be more. I’m called to push myself, and to stand toe to toe with the darkness. Every day I stand and pray to protect me from the attacks. Every day I praise my God for the blessings I have. I know I am protected and I know that for Jesus saves my soul every day. I know that every day I wake hope is here. Every day I see the hope all around me, and I know that it’ll be all right. I’ve experienced the darkness, and I’ve seen the light. I’ve felt the cold, but the warmth always triumphs. In every tear that falls God holds them. In every heart that breaks God feels our pain, and yet healing begins with Christ.

Light or dark, we decide where to stand. We can choose to stay in the darkness avoiding the light if we wish, but when it gets cold, or the demons come to creep, know the light will always accept you. You can choose to live in fear of the unknown, or you can choose to trust in Jesus and know that there is a brighter future waiting for you. You can choose to walk in the darkness, but no matter where you choose to walk, Jesus Christ is always there with you. If you choose to walk in the darkness, you have to expect to stub your toe on the furniture. Who then will you blame, God for not removing the obstacle, or yourself for not turning on the light? We as people will always learn more from hardships then a life of ease and calm rivers. If you are to be truly tested we must first be pushed to the limits to know what we are truly capable of. It’s in these times we need to turn to Christ more then ever, because we do not truly grow otherwise. We often pray for things we think are good for us, but we only see two feet ahead, but God sees a mile. We are but children clamoring around the house trying to place our finger in a light socket. God tries to warn us what not to do, but we are a stubborn people, and if we truly wish for a smoother ride we must learn to trust in the Lord and stop being so resistant to what we are told. God’s grace and love is unyielding, but our acceptance of it into our hearts is purely voluntary. Jesus loves you more then you know, and we should praise the Lord in all things, each and every day. Because our savior lives we must pray. We overcome by the power of His blood, and we are alive because he lives. Prayer is the absolute least we can do, and for the gift of life, shouldn’t we do at least that? We would be dead without Christ. Sin and shame would be all we are without the blood, and we’re alive because He lives. The light that would forever be the voice over the shadow, my life was and is held in His hands. So I pray to you Lord, thank you for my life, thank you for my pain, thank you for your love, and thank you for your gracious sacrifice for me. In your Holy Name, Amen.

How Do You Feel?

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How Do You Feel?

We are a nation, a society of shielding ourselves from real feelings. We are no longer a proactive society. We allow ourselves to be shielding from our feelings by way of relationships, money, and even sometimes our jobs. We no longer talk on the phone, instead we text and often people we may never meet in person. It’s easy to walk away because people don’t become attached, they don’t feel the connection. Money is the same way. We no longer feel the loss of money when we spend by just swiping the card. Instead of using the feeling of cash between our fingers we swipe the plastic and never see the connection between our money and us. We mismanage our lives poorly. We handle our money poorly, and we handle and manage our personal relationships. We don’t manage the gifts we are given by God. We don’t feel appreciative of the little things God gives us. We don’t feel that connection to our earthy gifts from our heavenly Father.

When we receive our gifts from God how do we look at those? Are we feeling our gifts, and are we any good at it? When we appreciate our gifts, when we actually have our feelers in the mix we take care of what we are given. When God gives us friendships, when God gives us people in our lives and we should cultivate those relationships. We should cultivate the money we are given, and ensure that we are using that gift to glorify God. When we feel nothing to let friends go, we must look at why we feel nothing. When we feel nothing for the money you spend, and you overspend, or use credit cards like it’s free cash, we see a society of foolish people growing.

When you look at your life and you look at what you have how do you feel? When you look at your life are you satisfied with the friends in your life? Are you satisfied with how you ended friendships? Do you feel badly with how you treated your coworker last week? How did you treat the waitress at the restaurant yesterday? If someone from the outside looked in on your life, would you be able to call yourself a Christian, or not? We all make mistake, but it’s important to understand the mistakes we are making. It’s not easy to evaluate our lives and figure out if we’re doing something right or wrong. Do we complicate our lives? Remember someone’s struggles, someone’s hardships do not constitute complications.

When we see something complicated in our society the natural reaction is to run away. We are a feel good society and we want to feel good. We want to rid our lives of anything that makes us feel anything but good. We want to emotionally spend even if we don’t have the money. We spend on credit cards because we deserve to have whatever it is we seek because we’ve earned it. We’ve had a hard day, or a hard week, and it’s decided we can indulge now, and deal with the implications latter. 1 Timothy 5:8 “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” If we provide for our household with finances we should be willing to help the rest of our family with love and support. We are a family in Christ and therefore we should be willing to provide what’s needed for those in trials to succeed. When we look at our loved ones, or friends who are going through a hard time, and we decide that dealing with them is just bringing you down, we use our feelings and yet we aren’t behaving as Christians. We don’t talk about things that are hard because it brings negative emotions that we no longer know how to manage in our lives.

We must learn to understand that both positive and negative feelings are important. How do we appreciate our positive feelings if we never allow negative feelings to be felt? If we run away from anything negative we miss the message in scripture. Scripture teaches us we WILL face hardships. Not only are we going to face the hardships, we are also told our brothers and sisters will also face hardships. This isn’t a suggestion, but we are told to raise one another, we are told to help carry the burdens of those in need in our lives. The thing is, if we feel the need to allow those to fall around us, and we don’t pick up their cross to help them, who’s going to help you? If you were in the crowd and you watched the Lord of all things fall, bleeding, and we choose not to help Jesus Christ lift and carry his cross because we don’t want to get involved, we don’t want the negative vibes to infect, to infest our good feelings, how do we feel? You see, when we abandon those in our lives because they have some drama, or they have hardships going on in their lives, leaving them to fend for themselves is not scriptural. Now, I will say some people choose to stay in their fire. They choose not to help themselves and they bring upon their own burdens. Those people can be difficult and it can be hard to keep them in our lives. Leeches are not what I’m talking about. Helping others is a scriptural principle that is non negotiable. We must help, but we are also told to use our gifts wisely. When we help those in need especially financially we must be good stewards of what we have.

I would like to think most people do not bring their own burdens upon themselves. But if they do, we must try to show the love of Christ. We must attempt to help show them a better way. We must be willing to put ourselves out there a little to help save them. If we were in a house with a fire would we not want a firefighter to come in to the house to save us? They put themselves at risk to save us from the fire. We can all be firefighters, or rescue swimmers, and help those in crisis. We can’t expect the fire never to come because it does. I challenge you all to take a good long hard look at yourselves and see if you have been allowing someone close to you to carry his or her cross alone. Have you turned your back on someone that reached out to you for help? Have you walked away from friendships because they had too much going on? Be good stewards, and walk in Christ in your every day. Be thankful for your gifts, but those gifts may not always be there if you are not walking in Christ. If you do not use the gifts of God to glorify God, you can’t expect the gifts to keep coming if we aren’t walking with the Lord in other areas of our lives. We feel all kinds of things in our life, but we must learn to feel the grace of the Holy Spirit. That grace is important because when we allow the Holy Spirit to be in us, we will feel more empathy for others. We will often feel more sympathy for the blights of others when we are more in tuned with the thoughts and feelings of those around us. We are all in this together, and we need others to help us sometimes and it’s important to realize that love is a give emotion. We are told to love our brothers and sisters and that means being there for them when we need to. Let go of your selfish desire to rid yourself of all negativity. Negative events will happen, and it’s not about if but when. We have insurance because we want it when something goes wrong. The thing is, when the fire comes we don’t want to have to face putting it out on our own. We call for the fire department and we appreciate them being there. Our friends are the same way. We should feel the pain of others and we should be driven to help when we can. Believe it or not, when we are able to help someone through a crisis, how we feel will actually be positive making a change to someone’s life. Love all, cherish all, and be good stewards of God’s gifts. 1 Peter 4:16 “Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name.”

 

According to the plan….. Wait That’s Not Right

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According to the plan….. Wait That’s Not Right

What happens when you’re trapped in your own four walls? When the very thought about going out makes you weak at the knees and it feels like you can’t move or breathe? When depression, anxiety, and fear trap a once lively sociable person, and turns them into a flake, a hermit, unable to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and carry forward. How do we handle being on both sides? On one side you are the one trapped and all of the ways it hurts. On the other hand the one looking in, and dealing with the pain that comes with always being told no, even after plans were made has to deal with patience, understanding, forgiveness, and somewhere hope.

We all know things don’t usually go according to the plan, but it’s in those failures that we must understand there’s a reason. Sometimes the reason is a better path, sometimes it’s based on a persons free will, but in all things God’s in control. If God sees a path going array, just know that if you’re faithful and remain righteous God’s plan will be for you to prosper. We all make choices and for better or worse those choices affect those around us. A good Christian will uphold to their word and do what they say they are going to do. But what happens when their word is broken because of illness? We all need to understand a person dealing with depression, anxiety, and those who are just lost, will often say and do things that may lead to pain for others. While it hurts to look into someone’s life who’s suffering form that, we must understand that in order for us to be Godly in this situation we must approach with endless love, endless compassion, endless empathy, and endless forgiveness. No one wants to be depressed, and trapped in their own mind. There are lots of reasons for depression, and even if sometimes it’s caused from peoples bad choices, that doesn’t mean they should be condemned by them forever. Our place is not to judge, but to help carry the cross. The fine line is helping whether it’s been asked for or not. If we love someone though, we need to realize that love is the action of doing, not the feeling and sitting back and doing nothing. While love is a feeling, it’s what we do that’s more important.

When we are the ones trapped inside our heads and we can’t seem to break out, we need to be praying. We need to work on our faith, we need to find Godly counsel, we need to ensure we are not becoming stagnant water. We have to keep moving forward, and it won’t be easy, but we have to. We cannot give up who we are, and we cannot become something we were never meant to become. Dealing with addictions, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, and feeling lost, can be some of the worst things to face on the planet. When we forsake everyone around us and we choose to walk a path alone, we are walking away from God. We all turn and walk the wrong path at some point, but it’s important to notice that it’s happening and find yourself wherever you are, and realize that the Devil’s been lying to you. You need to wake up from the fog, and you need to as God to help you back. There will always be people in your life that at the moments notice will help you find your way. There will always be people who care, who love, who support, and who cherish you. If they aren’t in your life right now, when you make that change, God will provide. Just have faith, and as the battle wages on, be strong, fight back, and never give up hope.

When your plans explode and your day doesn’t go the way you want it, I always find myself going back to the words of the great Leonard Snart “Make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan.” No matter where the plans take you, the best you can do is to drop back, evaluate, and move in a new direction. I’m not saying when plans fail it doesn’t hurt, because sure it does. Yesterday when my plans exploded in my face on my birthday I was devastated. I thought for sure history wouldn’t repeat itself, but sure as I’m alive, the plan went off the rails. Instead of going out and having a nice night for my birthday, it turned into an evening in, building on of the coolest Lego set’s I’ve ever built. Not what I wanted, or what I had in mind, but I’m sure that in some way, it was for the best.

When life goes off the rails, just remember the rules: Be patient, an archer waits for his shot, he doesn’t fire aimlessly into the dark hoping to hit something. Be kind, an archer is fierce and doesn’t aim to be cruel to others. Be forgiving, we are all human on this big floating rock in space. We will make mistakes, and we will hurt others. People will hurt us, and it’s in that we must always remember to forgive without question, or without expectation to receive it in return. Never Give UP, we must always push forward and never give up because we know that God is never giving up on us. Dealing with any form of mental illness is hard, and when we are the ones in the wake of it’s destruction, we need to be calm, and caring, not cold and callus. When our plans don’t go the way we want them, have faith that we are where we are meant to be, and trust that God will help place us on the path. It’s for us to listen, and for us to watch for His signs, but in all things trust in the Lord with your heart, and believe you are moving to glorify the Father. People will hurt you, plans will change, life may be flipped upside down, but when you love, when you forgive, when you are gracious, and compassionate, the Lord will bless you, when the time’s right. Have faith, Have love, Have Christ in your heart.

Breaks my Heart

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Breaks my Heart

Going into this holiday season it breaks my heart to think about all those people out there who are suffering, who’ve lost everything, who feel hopeless. It breaks my heart to think about all those people who are without homes, without family, and have so much less then I do. I was just in Hawaii and the number of homeless is staggering. I’ve been all over the world and I’ve seen what poverty looks like up close. I’ve seen homes made of mud and no floors. I’ve seen houses made of scrap metal and tin, and we in America take for granted many of the gifts we have. It breaks my heart those who suffer from heartbreak this time of year. How many people suffer through divorce, or death, or loss of jobs this time of year? This time of year is hardest on people, and also the most joyful, but we can’t forget what it’s all about.

 

It’s hard being alone not having someone to share this time of year with. I miss going Christmas shopping, and cuddling by the fire watching Christmas movies. I miss sharing a glass of eggnog, and awaiting the look on my love’s face when they open the perfect gift. It’s a hard time for me this year, and even as hard as it is for me, I know others, many, many others, have it so much then myself. I feel more connected to the suffering of others this year then I have in the past.

 

This time of year we remember the goodness in our lives. We remember that the Son of the Lord was born and we celebrate the birth of our Savior. We celebrate the birth of a Child that would grow to take our sins upon himself and pay for our sins in innocent blood. The Lord blesses us every day and we often take those blessings for granted. When I look at all the suffering in this world I feel so small, what can I possibly do?

 

When I was in Hawaii recently I looked around and realized how blessed I was. I was in a wonderful place, with beautiful caring people, and I thought about those who where far worse off then me. All we can do is believe that God’s in charge and have faith that it’s working out. We have the ability to change the lives of those around us, if we just have the eyes and the heart to fight for change. We can’t always change or save everyone, but we can try.

 

Remember this time of year isn’t about the shiny baubles, the gifts, the shiny lights and colors, it’s about the good will towards your fellow neighbors. It’s about celebrating the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. We need to take a step back from the commercials, the drive to shop till you drop, and all the other things that draws your attention from the true beauty of our holiday. Of course enjoy the holiday and all that goes will, just make sure you don’t loose that focus. Take a little thought and pray for those who are less fortunate. It’s cold this time a year and there are families without food, without heat, and many without a home. Pray for them, and do something nice. Good will towards your fellow humans. Be kind, and be generous.

Back To Life

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Back to life

The return to my normal life came back like a kick in the face. Less then 24 hours after my return I find myself right back in the war. My first appointment was supposed to be easy and straight forward and yet the VA’s propensity for failure is never without a small sense of irony.

While the appointment wasn’t a total loss, it was a quick reminder I’m no longer in paradise and I needed to be ready to pick up arms again and be ready for the impending fight.

When you return from a vacation, or in my case an intense clinic of physical and psychological exorcises designed to push, motivate, and rejuvenate your soul, it’s a challenge returning to life and watching as the difficulty continues.

It’s important to stay focused and realize that just because there are hiccups in the road doesn’t mean all is lost. I’m finding myself in a struggle to manage the emotional roller coaster, but as far as frustrations go, breaking out in chronic hives is high on my list. Breathing and trying to recall the serenity prayer is a big step for me to remaining focused on the big picture.

Heaven The House That God Built

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Heaven The House That God Built

Genesis 1:1 “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” The undeniable truth, that we were formless before the beginning. Genesis 1:2 “The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.” We have hope because we know Heaven is a real place. We know that no matter how much pain or suffering we endure, it’ll all be worth it in the end. We’ve seen the words to the end of days and we know that in that time the truth will be revealed.

Revelation 21:4 “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” How nice it sounds to with without pain, to see life in the fullness of all it can be in perfection. We were delivered from a life of eternal damnation and although this life is difficult, and even though we endure so much pain and suffering, that seems a small price to pay for eternal love.

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Jesus bled and suffered before dying on the cross for all of our sins. Christ paid the price for our sins, but in turn if a little suffering along our path is what we have to pay, what we must carry along our way, it seems small in comparison.

While the promise of Heaven is as real as the oxygen we breathe, not all will join us in paradise, Matthew 25:46 “And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.” We will watch as what we had on earth will pass away and be no more. It’s in that sacrifice we shall thrive. 2 Corinthians 5:1 “For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.” It takes faith in Christ and love in our hearts to be able to reach eternal bliss. We must believe in Christ with our whole hearts. We must fight the sin nature and live a life according to the scripture. Matthew 7:13-14 “13 “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. 14 For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” No everyone we know and love will be with us in Heaven. All we can do is pray and hope in their heart of hearts they know Christ and they follow to know the joys of Heaven one day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Day With God

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A Day With God

Have you ever wondered what a day with God would be like? I like to imagine a peaceful day by a lake, fishing with the perfect weather, feet in the water, the sun warming your face, but not scorching. I imagine a conversation of deep thought, God asking the question to make me think, to discover truths within myself. While obviously this hasn’t happened to me, today was pretty great. I honestly felt more comfortable and at ease then I have in a long time. It’s an amazing feeling to finally start feeling like myself again. It’s been so long and I’ve struggled so much with the duality of who I was, what I’ve lost, and who it’s made me, that to finally feel a sense of relief I can only praise God for today.

Matthew 6:33 “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” We must always remember that in our trials, or when our days are going perfect to always seek God first. Always give to God before ourselves, always praise the blessings we have, and be thankful in all things because even as grim as it may be, and not to underplay anyone’s situations, but it can always be worse in some way.

The day was bright, and sunny, and beautiful, the weather was perfect, the company I spent my day with was beyond amazing and I can’t remember the last time in my life I laughed as much, enjoyed life as much, and looked upon my life as relaxing. The wonders of life as it’s often unpredictable can be filled with so many blessings we can’t contain ourselves or articulate how we are feeling in a moment such as this. Today not only did I have a wonderful day, I managed to pay off the final bills and became truly debt free. While I am alone, and should obviously be celebrating I find myself content in my hotel room with my Tervis cup of wine and my wonderful service dog Riley, good music, and a few friends texting or messaging me seems to be all I need tonight. I look forward to my days ahead here on vacation, and then when I return home figuring out my next step. I’m trying to remind myself to live in the moment, and for tonight, and just the few days I’m here to remember to live, love and laugh. Joy is found in ourselves in whatever situation we find ourselves. Every day doesn’t have to be perfect, and it won’t be, but as for me, today, I couldn’t have asked for better.

Falling For You

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Falling For You

Giving us a choice, we walk our path alone, but for how long? The blood spilt on hallowed ground, the choices we make from then on out is our cross. Can’t say what tomorrow will bring, can’t say what’s in our future, but as we grow, I want you in it, my Lord my God, show me the way.

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You entered my life and I wasn’t prepared for it. You wore down my defenses, and without a word you got in beyond the shield, beyond the moat, beyond the walls. I don’t know how I feel, but what I feel I feel for you. You’ve changed my life in a day, a gift from above. My God was looking out for me, I was given a gift a beautiful flower plucked from the darkness and brought into the light. You’ve given me no other choice but to love. I don’t know my future but I know my past. All I know is I don’t want to live in the dark anymore. The light in my heart shines brighter. You’ve altered my life, and you’ve made me better. You smile at me, and you’ve created much glee.

When things were so dark and gloomy you put a little love in my heart. I don’t know tomorrow, or the part you play, but you’ve changed in me a big,  big way. As the light may shine bright, and even if you leave, you leave me in a better place. God brought you into my life just like Jesus said. We just need to wait and see but the love that floats around cannot be taken for granted. Making the world a better place one day at a time.

Even if you leave tomorrow I will forever hold you tight. We never know how long we have, or what we need to do. Loving this day is all we are asked to do. Knowing what’s in the air and following the rose petals that life lies down, we can only do one thing, appreciate the day we have.

Jesus gave us life, gave us hope, and we cannot walk away from the truth. In the darkness we find light and the darkness runs in fear. The case is you’re my super friend. Jesus the first superhero, He defeated death itself, and gave us the love we needed but never deserved. So from that cue, we have what we need, right when we need it. I am meant to be wherever you are next to me my Lord. All my life I promise to keep running towards you my grace. I pray you grant me a love that will last, a love that stands apart. I pray for the woman to be my partner and my best friend. When you give me her, I promise to always run home to her, to cherish her and love her as you so loved us. I may not be worthy of such love, but I know one day when you see fit, you’ll give me that gift. To love and to hold, as you loved us. 2 Corinthians 9:7-9 “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency[e] in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. 9 As it is written,”

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The day grows dark, the hate rises from the depths of Hell, and all we can do is put love in our heart. It’s time to let go of the yesterday, be free from the pain that shackled you down, grow, and take a look around at the love that surrounds you. Make the world a better place and start with you. Be the light in your friends life, be the grace that people see, and know that Christ is working through you. Don’t let the perpetuation of hate continue in your life. Don’t let fear and doubt stain your sword. What more is there in this life that stands above love? Be the joy because Jesus lives in your heart and teaches you love.

While I search my heart for the right words, I’m left on the precipice looking over the wonders of the world. When I can think of nothing better then your presence, your smile, I know that you are more, you’re special in some way. No matter the time that passes I know you’ve forever changed me. Just as Christ has taken residence in my heart, you hold a place now too. Today, tomorrow, and always a difference forever made.

Service With Honor

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Service With Honor

In life sometimes there is one person we will connect with on a very special level. Ever since my time in this world I haven’t had a connection more then that I feel with my service dog. Riley has been with me for the last 6 years and in that time a connection has grown. Every day I go out she goes with me. That time together we have spent a relationship has grown for the both of us. She has never left me, she has never not been there watching out for me. She knows when I hurt and she does everything within her power to make that better. Her training has taught her to alert me when anxiety levels are high. She knows to watch my six anytime we are out in town. She alerts me if people walk up behind me, she protects me by passively standing in between someone and myself. She can walk with me while I’m using both hands to push a shopping cart and always knows just where to be. She doesn’t like when I’m not around just as much as I don’t like it when she’s not. I’ve grown to depend on her and she depends on me. In our life we will often have pets throughout our life. Riley isn’t my pet, she’s my best friend. When I come home if she’s not been with me she’s super excited to see me. She can’t wait to give me hugs and kisses. Yes I taught my service dog how to hug people. I will be her entire life, and even though she will only be apart of my life for a short while, the impact she’s had on me will be forever.

Riley has seen me through my darkest days. When I returned home from my injury last year she was there to help me when the quiet was banging on my eardrums. She was there for me when I cried. She laid in my lap, and she’d lick my face when I cried. She curls up with me at night providing warmth and comfort. While she’s incapable in stopping every nightmare I have, she’s always a constant presence for me when I wake up. Riley’s ability to take hand signals from me, her ability to listen to simple instruction, and then complex instructions. Her being out with me every day prevents me from falling into a situation where I could potentially be taken to the hospital. Though she’s not been able to prevent every anxiety attack, she’s certainly tried.

I was recently asked what to military dogs do? I’ve heard people say what a service dog is not, and say what a service dog doesn’t do. I’ve heard that a service dog would never ‘sniff’ anyone. I’ve heard service dogs shouldn’t need ‘spoken direction’. This couldn’t be further from the truth. While not every service dog requires focus like diabetes alert dogs, or seizure dogs, the ignorance of our society astounds me. Recently I learned that a local hospital I frequent often has a policy that only a small particular group is covered under the rule, Amputee, Seeing Eye, Hearing Impaired, are the only dogs officially covered. However the policy is all dogs are to be accepted so long as the dog isn’t causing any issues, and is behaving. The problem with this policy is the liberty it gives the employees to discuss services dogs. Recently I heard an argument between two employees about the definition of what service dogs do or don’t do. It was loud enough to interrupt my conversation with someone about my service dog. Military dogs are trained extensively prior to going into war. The military trains its dog to detect explosive materials and weapons. Military dogs can also detect drugs and other contraband. These dogs require direction, just like any other service dog. Even the best-trained dogs can have their issues. I recently saw a movie about a military bomb dog, and as you watch, you’ll see that no matter what a dog’s trained to do, a dog is still a dog. They will suffer from the same things people do. My dog for instance doesn’t like elevators or bridges. I’ve never understood why she doesn’t like walking bridges, but her fear is what it is. I have learned to work around her fear understanding we all have them.

 

Service with honor

If my verbal direction sounds like a problem, to that I say ‘Stay in your lane.’ People in our society have to have an opinion. People have to not just have an opinion they have to state their opinion, and instead of directing the appropriate questions to people who know, they argue and bicker. Another thing I’ve noticed is how some people will ask ‘why do they need a service dog, I don’t see anything wrong with them?’ This question upsets me a great deal. While I’ve studied mental illness, the affects of PTSD, and the cause of anxiety, if that person as a panic/anxiety attack, you hope they have their dog. Feeling that way is horrible, speaking from experience. Panic attacks cause an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, trouble breathing, and can often manifest dizziness. The calming affect from animals is evident through science. Trained service animals still take some kind of commands. Bomb dogs need direction, even hearing and other kinds of dogs all take commands.

All I ask is if you’re going to make assumptions on service dogs, perhaps you need to do some research first, or ask someone with a service dog. Please don’t pass judgment on those with service animals, and please don’t assume just because you can’t see any disability doesn’t mean they aren’t there.

service with honor 3

For those of us who’ve served we serve with Honor. We allow those who have served our country to suffer with PTSD, with the nightmares from the life we’ve lived. From today as we remember 9/11 we remember the fallen, and the survivors. We can only hope that we have learned from our mistakes, and remember service comes in many ways. The years after tragedy the ones who are left should be honored, the ones that have fallen are lost but never forgotten. No matter the season, no matter the day, those who serve write a blank check in the act of that service. Firefighters in New York, Police, and the New York Port Authority, wrote a blank check on this day 16 years ago. Soldiers have been writing that check for generations past, and generations to come. People who work in the services put themselves in harms way and we take off our hats to remember them. We learn to pick ourselves up, and we united in the months following 9/11. We’ve fallen wayside in the following years, and we ought to remember to slow down in our lives and we need to remember the simple truth, we are all human, not black, not white, not any other race, we are humans. We are also all Americans. We have a commonality far greater then what we live today. We all have Jesus Christ and in front of the cross we are judged the same. We are always on equal footing in front of God All Mighty, and thus we must remember to set our personal differences aside and join on equal footing to fight and defend this nation. We honor the dead by fighting, and we are not done fighting.

The Healing Begins

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The Healing Begins

As the last week has taught me tomorrows plan is nothing more then an idea. An idea that until the steps begin, the plan is nothing more then faint belief that we actually have control to stick to the plans. A neck brace and painkillers are the highlights of my day. As I begin to settle in to my new dwelling, I watch as one of my dogs goes round after round with a particularly brave, or stupid cat, I haven’t figured out which one yet. I have no idea what my new plan is, or what I’m going to do, but 6 weeks is a long time. 6 weeks before I can drive myself again, and 6 months before I’m back up to lifting strength, and that’s when the hard work will begin. I will have to find a way to get by in all these months without the use of my arms and back I’ve grown so accustomed to. When someone tells you, you will loose the use of something you use all the time, it doesn’t hit you right away, it takes time, it slowly seeps into your mind, and then when you need it, when there’s something you feel you have to do, but can’t, that’s when reality smacks you square in the dumbfounded face.

In retrospect I suppose I knew this day was coming. 7 years ago when my C7 disc bulged the first time and doctors told me I was looking at a fusion surgery then, I built up the idea of surgery for years prior, and now that it’s come I am finding this isn’t what I had in mind. I never anticipated being displaced from my home, being separated from my life, and watching as everything I knew and loved had been torn away, ripped apart, and set on fire. We never fully understand what we are or where we are going, but having faith in a God, the God, our God, that in the perfection of the light, the plan that has been set forth in front of us, albeit treacherous and full of toils at times, is designed to shape us, train us, forge us from the babies we start off being, to soldiers in a war that has been going on long before us, and last on far after we return to the dust. Being a soldier takes months of training, and sometimes longer. Being a soldier for Christ takes years of hardships, of biblical study, and maybe after we’ve learned much, seen a lot, endured hell, then perhaps we have grown enough in our faith to actually teach and preach towards those who need it the most.

A few months back I wrote a blog about love, and responsibilities as an adult Christian and what it means. “It means giving up that piece of yourself that must be in control, that must be held on to in order to protect yourself from harm.” (Arrow Preacher, Pass On What You Have Learned) Healing begins when you learn to love, and allow that love to be the deciding factor on how we treat others. We must learn to let go of the anger, the frustrations, and allow ourselves to be filled by the love of the Holy Spirit. The truth is in positivity, and even towards plans you make is has an affect. The natural energies of the universe producing the aura around us, invokes love or destruction. Find love in the places least likely to find it, even if it means you are the one that plants it there. In all things the greatest of things is Love greater then hope, and faith. Let God fill you, be your light in the darkness, and when all hope seems lost, remember love is the key, and when the seeds are planted with love what you plant shall grow and flourish.