Ashes Ashes, They All Fall Down

Ashes Ashes, They All Fall Down

The tongue is a powerful tool. So many people will come and go out of your life, but I think we’ve lost the ability to truly care for people. How I’ve seen friendships grow, and grow, and yet in the blink of an eye crumble like a house made of cards. The spark that lit the match and the whole of the friendship burnt down to ash all around. The tongue has the ability to lift up and do and say great things, but at the same time it can destroy, and tear down all manner of friendships. Scripture is very clear about the power of the tongue, and love. Both of which go hand in hand, but how often is the words in the Holiest of Holy books ignored. What does scripture say about the tongue and what we say? 

Proverbs 21:23 (NKJV)

23 “Whoever guards his mouth and tongue

Keeps his soul from troubles.”

Ephesians 4:29 (NKJV)

29 “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary [a]edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”

Proverbs 12:18 New King James Version (NKJV)

18 “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword,

But the tongue of the wise promotes health.”

When people are wounded they often justify the hurting of others. They say and do anything to make sure they don’t get hurt, and if that means they shut themselves off from the world and caring for others, the sad fact is, it happens all the time. 

In the last…. Well most of my life, I’ve watched my friendships, and relationships build up, and then in the blink of an eye topple over and burn to the ground in ash. In fact, it hasn’t just been friendships I’ve watched burn to the ground but nearly all relationships that I’ve held most dear. Not a day goes by when I don’t look to the future and wonder what my days will hold. Every day I walk is a day I have to put forth effort. Every day I watch my steps, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t wonder what relationship was going to burn to the ground on any given day. Some may call it cynical, but from my perspective, it’s more of a manner of time then anything else. Wounds made by the tongue are hard to get over sometimes. Wounds that are from the collapse of a relationship (friendship, marriage, etc.) are even harder to manage. It took me years to realize the hurtful nature of people, and even longer to realize the love and mercy of my Abba Father. Despite so many losses, through it all I know that my God is still by my side daily. It’s taken me years of hurt, and heartache to get to a point where I am no longer crushed under the waves of the sea. 

When we care for someone, or care for people, how must we act? We are told time and again how important our tongue is, and how damaging it can be. I myself am not free from sin in the matter. In my past I’ve often let things from my lips that I knew where hurtful, specifically because I was hurt, and in my vanity and in my pride, I wanted to send my pain right back at the other person. Love is the only way to fight evil. Love is the only way to return pain that can be inflicted. The old Axum is true “hurting people hurt others.” Love however, is not just love of a spouse but the love we must all share for one another. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NKJV)

“4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not [a]puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [b Keeps no accounts of evil] Thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

If love suffers long, that means being first in line that suffering long is the most important aspect of love. It also keeps no record of wrong doing. If we are to love in this manner, that means we are to speak no ill words towards those we love. Sadly this is perhaps the most difficult thing people will face in their lives. This world hurts us deeply and that anger, and resentment quickly hardens the heart. Fear of being hurt can often turn outwards and instead of words being used to lift up, to show love, to show kindness, that fear sabotages friendships, or relationships and sinks ships. 

When words are thrown around, or even when actions against someone is taken, behind it all at the root of it all is self. Even if the root is self-preservation, the base is self, and self often leads to sin. Sin destroys everything it touches. Sin is cancer, it’s a disease, it’s the cause of evil in the world. Sin is what causes our lips to spew venom. The lips and the forked tongue behind them are the most powerful weapon on the planet, and sadly the amount of broken hearts, the amount of tears, the amount of pain that’s it caused far surpass the number of dead throughout all eternity. The tongue is such a small little thing, yet driven by the sinful heart, produces terrible amounts of pain. 

In my life I’ve been blamed for my own suffering. I’ve been told I was worthless. I have been told I should kill myself. I’ve bene told I was ugly. I’ve been told I would never find happiness. I’ve been told I deserved to be cheated on. I’ve been told I was so awful that anyone around me would want to kill themselves just to get away from me. The list could go on for miles, but I think the point has been made. Eminem once said “they can be great Or they can degrade, or even worse they can teach hate” (Sing for the moment, Eminem). How true, words have such power. In a life lived where there’s been so many words pointed in my direction, how have I managed to push forward? In some instances I’m still working on it. I’ve slowly come to realize just because someone says something doesn’t make it true. Even though the words hurt, there is power in love and forgiveness. Despite the failings, and the destruction of so many different relationships through the years, I try to maintain optimism that each and every new friendship will be different. This isn’t always the case, and I sometimes find myself being hurt, abandoned, or ‘ghosted’ in today’s society. It isn’t easy watching people leave, or have such a disregard for someone’s feelings, but we must remember that to put our faith in people is foolish. Placing your faith in God is the only absolute. People and their sin nature will let you down, they will hurt you, they will fail you, and you will be powerless to stop it. It’s not easy, or fair, but it’s the sad reality of living in a fallen world. I’ve watched helplessly as friendships fell to ruin, and I always blamed myself. I felt I was at fault, and it was me. Perhaps to some extent it was me, but what’s more likely is my taste in friends. If I choose friends who will speak ill, abandon me in a time of need, only come around when they need something, then apropos they are not the Christian friends I need or needed in my life. 

Hold onto the friendships you can, and those you can’t, let them go. Hold onto the relationships you can but the ones that will leave you, let them leave, and remember Jesus Christ will never leave, nor will he ever forsake you. Hope misplaced can be devastating, so we must hope in the Lord, and hope for the best in people, but prepare for the worst from them. The Lord’s love is never in question, nor is his presence in your life. There is only one cure for sin and that’s Jesus Christ, but so long as we live in this world, even those who know Christ are still subject to sin, and thus still subject to letting down those they care for. Don’t let a forked tongue burn down your relationships. Don’t let hateful speech flow from your lips. Don’t let words that do not build up break the sound waves. Don’t let your friendships turn to ash. Don’t let your relationship be damaged by words of hate or anger. Hold your tongue, hold your voice. Just because something is the truth doesn’t mean it has to be said. Just because you have a thought doesn’t mean it needs to be spoken. Remember that people have feelings and hurting someone is like hurting Jesus. We are one body in Christ and to hurt one is to hurt Christ. 

Hold yourself to a higher standard and really dive into scripture about how we are to talk to one another, behave towards one another, and how we expect God to behave towards us. We expect a different behavior from God, when we treat others badly. Don’t allow Satan to harden your heart with anger and hatred, and fear. God gives us a spirit of courage, not of fear. Don’t allow the song “ring around the rosy” to represent your friendships or relationships. As for me, I watch friendships dissolve to ash, and one by one they fall down. 

Tis’ The Season

Tis’ The Season 

As I finish my half a year back in school I find myself feeling tired. I have found my motivation severely lacking. The enjoyment of school seems to be waning as one week after another I get closer to graduating. While it doesn’t make sense to me why my motivation has been so lacking, I find myself going into this CHRISTmas season hopeful of the break, looking forward to rest, and finding things relaxing to occupy my time.

Sadly many of the events this season I look forward too most have been canceled. I don’t generally look forward to very many things so for something to not work out, really gets to me. Thankfully there are still things I’m looking forward to during this break. CHRISTmas is still coming, along with the candlelight service, the annual church breakfast service, and the church cantata. Finally at the end of the Christmas season is my Appalachian Trail hike. While I’m looking forward to the 6-8 day hike, I can’t deny that some concerns over the recent weather have been raised. With the snow that fell concerns were light, but going further into the season it’s been almost nothing but rain. The rain on the hike would be a miserable experience. I am praying earnestly that the weather is either dry, or snow.

Hope and cheer is the key phrase this season, and how much do we have to hope for? 1 Peter 1:3-4 (NKJV)3 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you,” We have hope for the Lord Jesus Christ, and know that there is nothing else in this world that gives us more hope. Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV)31 “But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.” 

The days come and everyone experiences a lull in their season, and perhaps after 6 months of non stop work, the stress caught up to me. The joy of the Lord, and knowing that Jesus Christ gives us eternal hope, and that nothing in this world can remove that from life. The Christmas joy is forever and for all those who know and love Jesus Christ have a lifetime of hope. This season the Christmas blues may hit, but remember that a moment of blue doesn’t mean you have to be in a season of blue. It’s okay to have a day or so where you’re feeling the holiday blues. Maybe you miss a loved one, or you miss some old friends, no matter what’s causing the blues just remember it’s Christmas, and it’s all about the baby born to give us the ultimate hope and joy. So Tis’ the season to be Jolly, and find your joy by remembering what’s important this holiday season. It doesn’t matter if it’s snowing, or raining, something in between, or what season you’re in, Christmas is here, and that means there’s lots to be joyful about.

The Binds That Bind Us

The Binds That Bind Us

These two links are other posts about the persecuted church.

https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2017/06/09/hiding-in-the-shadows/

https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2017/08/14/go-and-dont-die/

Hebrews 13:3 (NKJV) 3“Remember the prisoners as if chained with them—those who are mistreated—since you yourselves are in the body also.” The Holiday hustle and bustle has started as millions prepare this holiday season, Thanksgiving then moving towards our saviors birth in our CHRISTmas. We take for granted our freedoms to celebrate freely, even the term Christmas is slowly being replaced. The persecution by man has not yet become persecution by our government. Not every message is positive, but every message that comes from the Lord is necessary. “With great power comes great responsibility.”(Uncle Ben)We have a privilege in the Lords blessings, while many are not living in a place where they can pray, preach, or teach. Some places this is illegal and can end in prison, or even execution as the persecuted church is very real.

What are you wiling to do for the Lord? What is the mission the Lord has called you to do? We can ignore the truth but the denial is not a replacement for the truth, the only truth. The bonds that exists are very real but the Lord does not call to hear our excuses. The Lord makes no mistakes, and every calling comes with a cross to bare. How many have heard the call but created an excuse, Moses, Jeremiah, Isaiah, and even in the book of Acts, Ananias was called by the Lord to venture to Damascus to face Saul the Pharisee who persecuted and murdered Christians. Ananias was given a word of grace and hope from the Lord to put fear aside and baptize Saul who would be known as Paul. Persecution still happens and we are called to live in grace and as the body is in bonds so shall we remember and never forget the truth.

We are warriors for Christ. We are called to lift up the church and bare the burdens the body bares. Facing torture, persecution, death is a way of life and we cannot forget them. We must fight the cloud of darkness that creeps towards the West. The nature of this is very real, and we cannot remain close eyed to what is truly happening around us. We need Jesus Christ, and we must latch on to that hope. We must ask the Lord how we can serve and as we all have our own gifts, our own purpose God has for us. We as Christians can still allow Christ to shine through us and when we let go of our own excuses, let go of our fears, and allow the Lord to touch us with what we need to fight the fight, we can stand tall. Whether it’s a voice of God, the pen of God, the Spirit of the Lord, the calling is very real. Christ wants us to go, plant seeds, and trust Jesus Christ who calls us to work during the day. We cannot whither away in luxury, allow ourselves to become complacent in a peace that is a true lie. The peace is not that of a life without danger, but peace knowing that no matter what happens to our lives, or our own bodies, we find peace in Christ alone.

When we hear the life of those living through real dangers and maintains faith in the Lord, how foolish are we that we are so spoiled and easily swayed away from Christ at the first hiccup when life gets a little hard. Do not turn away from the Lord, no, turn towards our Savior and place your trust in the true Gospel of Jesus Christ. The truth is the journey is hard, and we are never promised ease or a life without troubles. The enemy attacks in the dark and attempts to create the divide, and as we’ve seen over the years of mankind, horrific events that have caused immeasurable amount of pain and suffering. The persecution of the Jews, the mass executions of the Christian people worldwide. We cannot forget them as we celebrate the birthday of our Savior. 1 Peter 5:10 (NKJV)10 “But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.” We renew our strength through the never ending waters of the Lord. Jesus Christ our king suffered so we may only suffer a little. We suffer in this life so when the final breath is taken we leave this fallen world behind for one of perfection. Isaiah 40:31  (NKJV)“But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.”

We can either choose to be bound in sin, living in suffering, or we can live in a bind under the blood of Christ that gives us eternal hope. We choose the bonds we live in, one of freedom, or one of suffering. As for me, I choose Jesus Christ, and I choose to be a warrior, and to never allow the great deceiver to gain ground upon me. He may attack but he can never break the bond that I have with my Father, and His perfect Son Jesus Christ. Never again do we have to be afraid of the emptiness of sin and the lies of the Devil. Spread cheer and remember this Christmas to be of joy, and yet to pray for those who live in persecution. We are one body, and when one part hurts, it hurts us all. Remind those in pain of the joys of Jesus Christ, and never give up that hope.

Put A Little Celebration In Your Heart

Put A Little Celebration In Your Heart

I was watching a movie recently where they were dancing to swing music. Do we have a spirit of dance? “Dance, the movement of the body in a rhythmic way, usually to music and within a given space, for the purpose of expressing an idea or emotion, releasing energy, or simply taking delight in the movement itself.” (Britannica) We don’t allow our spirit to dance in the delight of the Lord. We allow Satan to stifle our spirit and dim the light within us. As we move forward in this Christmas season are we doing so with a spirit of Mr. Scrooge, or that of Suzie Who? 

I know so many people who have suffered so much loss that the holidays cause them to be depressed. Depression is common this time of year with the lack of sun, and the stress from family, and shopping. Even the stresses from work, trying to finish year-end projects, analysis papers, etc. What can be done about the holiday blues? What can be done to stay off the blues? A change of perception can often be the simple fix, but how do we do that?

Romans 12:12 “Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;” The joy we find in the Holy Spirit is abundant and never ending. Nothing can take your joy from you when you know the joy of the Son Jesus Christ. When we know the hope in the this world comes from the Lord, and our eternal salvation comes from pure love, what then do we have to loose our joy too? We may not always be the happiest, or the most cheery, but we always have something to count our joy. Romans 15:13“Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.”

Do not look to your past regarding what you have lost, instead look to today and count the blessings of what you have. We have so much to be thankful even just living in this country of the United States, but if you live abroad, there are still many blessings for you in your home country. There is nothing on this earth that is worse then the Hell Fire we would have had if it weren’t for that baby boy we celebrate this season.

Satan wants to stop your heart from dancing, but it’s up to you to not let him. Dance your heart, and celebrate that little baby boy.

I Have A Dream

I Have A Dream

John 17:3“And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.”

What do you want tomorrow? Where do you want to be, not in this walk on Earth but in your walk with God? I have a dream for God to look at me and say “Well Done.” I look to grow in wisdom of the Lord. God created man in the likeness of himself, not by the way we look, but by our spirit of love, a spirit of compassion, of giving, and the ability to grow I have a dream for my epitaph to read “He walked with God” I have a dream to not live a hundred years without, but as many days that I have with God. It’s better to walk with God for a short while to spend eternity with God, rather then any number of years to live with Earth as your kingdom only. 

I have a dream to leave a legacy of God’s love for generations after me. I have a dream to live my life in a way my father, my Abba, would be proud of me. To have God extend his perfect hands with the hole still piercing His flesh, to ask me to join Him on this journey. Jesus says come for everything is ready. Jesus wants to walk with a sinner like me. So here I sit, I have a dream to hold on to Christ’s hand a little tighter. I have a dream to grow closer to God of the universe because as imperfect as I am I have a paid for ticket to enjoy an eternal life free from persecution, war, famine, bullies, pain, suffering, heartbreak, and when the Lord comes He will wipe away the last tear I should ever cry. I have a dream that the day I kneel humbly before the cross I shall hold my invitation in my heart and God will tell me “welcome home”

How great is God to love a sinner, a wretched, hypocrite like me. God is so amazing that I do not have to live this life with a spirit of fear, but a spirit of courage to stand tall and firm in this life against the wiles of the Devil. God calls us to walk with Him, to grow from the baby Christian to be a warrior Christian.

I have a dream to draw others to God by walking differently in this life, that people notice so I may be able to show the love of Jesus with as many as I can. I have a dream to dive into the word of God, so I may be approved not by man, but approved by my Heavenly Father.

I have a dream to see the gates of Heaven and know that I am welcomed home. I have a dream to rid my flesh of weakness, and to stand strong in this war all around us. I have a dream to strengthen others in God’s love, to show them a better way, to show them truth, the only truth, that God, the God of the universe, creator of Heaven and Earth, and that they are loved so completely by the creator. I have a dream to show what God has blessed me with, not to raise myself in status, but to show how powerful, how gracious, how forgiving God is. I have a dream that all people would come to know the Father, and trust in Him.

I have a dream to see my loved ones in Heaven, to see their perfect selves, to feel close to God, and be surrounded by nothing but light and joy. I have a dream to one day be welcomed home, and know that all the years in this life will have been worth the pain and suffering, and I shall no longer worry about the fight, as I will be able to finally rest. I have a dream to count my days in the fullness of God’s love and mercy and grace, and have joy all my days of this life. 

Learn to Love Again

Learn to Love Again

Battered and broken, the heart splits and tears, shattered into a thousand pieces on the floor. You can see them looking down, what’s more, you don’t know what to feel. The hearts broken glass, sharp and jaded, and you don’t think there’s any glue strong enough to put the pieces back together again.

 

I was thinking of the heart as Humpty Dumpty and when broken can it be mended, put back together? The truth is, sometimes it may not feel like it but the heart does heal. It’s a wonderful feeling when the veil of darkness begins to lift and the brightness of life begins to shine through, and providing warmth for the heart. The scars are there, and some pain remains, but God heals, and gives us what we need. Psalm 147:3 (NKJV)3 “He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.”  God protects over us, watches us, and guards our hearts. Much like Jesus was guarded as scripture foretold, God will guard the brokenhearted.Psalm 34:18-20 (NKJV)18 “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit. 19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all. 20 He guards all his bones; Not one of them is broken.”

 

Recently I met someone, and to say it’s complicated may be an understatement. As we look towards what tomorrow may bring, I remind myself to maintain what love is. 1 Corinthians 13:4-13(NKJV)4 “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

 

Love can be found when God is involved anywhere, no matter the distance, and no matter how two people meet. While there are challenges, and hurdles to jump through, when two people live for God, and trust in God, anything is possible. Since the greatest of all things is Love, it’s love that truly mends a broken heart. The Love of Christ shows us the way, heals and binds the pieces. When we trust in Jesus the impossible becomes possible. While tomorrow is never known, and the outcome is always uncertain to us, God knows our hearts, God knows our path, and if tomorrow is meant to be together, God will show how, and will remove major barriers. Having faith is so important to set the fears aside, and face the tough challenges, but knowing that nothing in this life worth having that is easy to get.

 

While my heart still worries about tomorrow, I know that there is concern on both sides, and it could be a high stakes round and there’s a lot to loose. On the flip side however, there is so much to gain, so much love, so much joy to be found and if it’s God’s plan it will work. Putting God first is always the only way to live, and it’s through God, and in Jesus Christ joy is found. Tomorrow will come without my help, and I have faith that the world will turn and keep on turning, and all I have to do is live Christ like, and listen to my Abba for my path, and He will show me the way. Argie you are a beautiful, and a smart woman, you are kind and compassionate, and don’t loose hope, don’t loose faith, and always put the Lord first. Continue to be open about your concerns, your hope, your joys, and your dreams, and pray above all to God. Learning to love again, and learning to trust is only possible, truly possible, when God is first always.

Every Contingency

Every Contingency

As I have spent the last few months preparing for my mid December hiking trip, I have come to realize one very important factor that I am not in control over my destiny. I have tried to plan for every contingency, and the most I plan, the more carefully this plan is thought out, the words of Lenard Snartrun through my mind, “Make a plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan.” How true this statement is, not just for clever heists of Argus held technology, but in all of life. I have tried to think of every contingency, every minor detail of emergency I can think of, but when it comes down to it, I am not in control. Yes, there is a measure of free will, and yes, I am choosing to do this hike, and I am chosen where and when, but in my heart I know God has laid this trip on me for a reason, and I will go with an open heart to hear what God has to say.

 

One does not build a tower without first counting the cost. You do not build without a plan, and you cannot succeed in war without first being prepared for battle. I do not claim to know all that will happen, but I go humbly before the Lord the one who made the woods, and the mountains, and I ask for guidance and clarity and peace along this planning and execution phases.  James 4:13-17 (NKJV)13 “Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; 14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. 15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” 16 But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 17 Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.”

 

While I don’t pretend to know everything, I do think God gives us the ability to think logically and with the gift of intelligence we are able to take in information and process it and we formulate solutions based on the data we have at the time. We aren’t always right and we don’t always use every bit of information we may have available to us, and we may not always come to the right conclusions, but when we walk with God, when we ask ourselves every day what would Jesus do, we are far more likely to get it right, far more often.

 

As I have planned for bad weather, small injuries, fire, food, warmth, wet, wild animals, water, and not just for me but for Riley also, I understand there will be things I will find on the trail I didn’t need, or things I wish I had, but even if this trek in the woods turns out to be a failure then I will learn from that failure and I will do better the next time.

 

A lot of people have asked me why I would be willing to, or even want to do a trip like this, and the answer I have often given seems to be an over simplification, and the true, deeper answer is far more complicated. Death comes for us all, and I often wonder when my time will be. In the last two years I have faced death, and then a life changing back surgery. In that time I have often looked at my life and questioned what I was to learn, what I was giving up and loosing in all of this. I was so focused on what I lost, that I couldn’t see what I can gained. I have gained perspective and insight into a faith I didn’t know I could ever have. I would come to face my past and be forced to dissect it in order to truly heal. I have loved ones I have lost and that I miss. One of my favorite quotes is ‘Living is not for the weak.’ It’s hard being on this side, but this side is important. As much as I miss my loved ones who’ve gone home, I try to keep my focus on the mission, the reason I’m still here. I try not to let my grief distract me from what God wants me to do. I remember that if it were my time to go Home God would take me, and he would have taken me two years ago when I nearly died, but I am still here, fighting the good fight. I do not pray for death, but I am prepared to meet death like an old friend when the time comes.

 

This journey is for me to focus on God, and regain something within myself I lost. This trip is for me to prove to myself that I can still do things I love, even if it’s different from before. This trip is for me to hear God more clearly, to focus on that relationship and get back to a simpler time. Faith is important to me, and knowing that my original route was canceled because the hurricane washed out the bridge, and then me finding the most perfect route I could have ever asked for, Marion to Damascus. The path to Damascus is a long, and difficult one, but much like Paul, the path is meant to be difficult, and even painful to pick away parts of me that I don’t need and make me more like Christ every day. Remember as you move forward in your life it’s good to make plans, to seek Godly counsel, but don’t be so rigid in your plans that you don’t leave room for God to change them. You have to know that the course we set according to Christ will always follow that North Star, but sometimes God sees fit to alter our course slightly and we can’t be upset when those course corrections come. When we realize we aren’t the Captain of our ship, we are more willing to let God be in control and realize we’re just along for the ride. Be wise and trust in God but don’t spend so much time worrying about life even though we are told to plan. It’s okay if God changes the plan because if God changes things for you, it means something better is coming, even if you have to go through the storm first.

Keep Fighting

Keep Fighting

 1 John 5:5 (NKJV)5 “Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?”

We fight this world tooth and nail every single day of our lives, and somehow we find a way to make it through. We never fully understand the source of our strength and we underestimate the importance of God’s will and gifts for each and every one of us.

We face our hopes in so many things in this life, but fail to keep our eye on the North Star. Jesus Christ is the life that was sacrificed in order to give us hope in more then just tomorrow, or next week, but hope in Heaven.

It’s not easy living in the world when it’s so easy to become lost in it. The ebb and flow of the world is designed to sweep us away in the flowing waters, yet as out of control as life may seem, the truth is, when we feel out of control in this world, that’s exactly what Satan wants. Satan wants us to forget about our Heavenly hope, and begin to worry about the every day problems here in this life. When we start to worry about our bills, our relationships, our jobs, our friends, our vehicles, even our own health, it can quickly add up, and much like the rising waters of a flash flood, we are no longer in control, not of what’s going on around us, but of our own thoughts and feelings. We are commanded to remain sober minded and in control of our thoughts and feelings, and when we allow ourselves to get swept away we are in violation of our commandments. What else is there to say except stop worrying about everything going on. Handle what you must, and take one thing at a time, trusting in God to be there with you, to help you through.

Trust in God and allow your star to shine brightly and cut through the clouds, the storm, and guide you no matter what happens or where you’re swept off too. Stay firm and guide yourself by the only hope we ever need.

Can Anybody Find Me Somebody To Love

Can Anybody Find Me Somebody To Love

It’s been two years since my love walked away. In the two years since I have found myself on a roller coaster of emotions during that time. I never would have dreamed two years later I’d still be alone, and fundamentally still looking for as I once put it, my Black Canary. https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2017/08/26/finding-my-black-canary/ I have thought long and hard about what I want in my life, and as potential sprouts up, what is it I am willing to give up, or what do I hold on too? There are so many questions that revolve through my head it’s sometimes hard to quiet the noise. No matter the people who’ve come and gone in my life, I have tried to maintain hope that this isn’t a permanent situation I have found myself in. Though the reality is harder to see, the emotions run wild. I have often questioned God, why is this happening to me? Then I often ask, why are you keeping this from me? It’s easy to ask question when you’re hurting, but perhaps the right question is what can I learn from this situation?

Going into my third Christmas now without someone special in my life has caused a landslide of emotions. Watching those around me have babies, and get married, celebrate anniversaries, and go on trips with the person they love, has made me feel envious. People have come and gone in my life, but I haven’t quite seemed to make much of an impression on anyone, and if I had, it was one of “let me run away from that guy”. I don’t understand what has happened to me, but as the feelings of loneliness seemed to have made a permanent residence in my mind, I now am trying to find ways to fight back.

I need to fight back against the lies that I’m hearing. The enemy has infiltrated my defenses and I have to now fight from within. The darkness fills my heart, and self-doubt, shame, hopelessness, and anger poison the thoughts that come. The whispers in the dark that have left me on the ground feeling cold and alone. It’s time I turn the fight around, and find a way to use the enemies attacks for my benefit. I know that right now I’m pretty low on the inside, and although I think I’ve gotten pretty good at creating a solid mask for the world to see, I don’t know how long I can maintain such a level of subterfuge.

The plan is to lift praises to the one who can change everything. I praise the Lord in this season of drought because God is good always. I praise Jesus Christ for the love shown to me every day, and without fail. I have many feelings that keep me down, but my joy still remains. I may not be happy, but I have joy in Christ. I do not want to be defined by the wreckage of my past. I am a child of the King and I’ve been saved, so while I may not have a lady in my life I do have love. I have been set free of my chains, and I must realize that the Lord over all creation knows my name. The Lord loves me because of who I am, not what I’ve done. The Lord loves me because I’m His child, and though I don’t have a special someone, I am a soldier for Christ, I am a warrior for God, and I will hold fast to the mission. The Lord catches me when I’m falling, heals me when I’m broken, and comforts me when I’m sad. Psalm 34:17-20 (NKJV)17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles.18 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as [a]have a contrite spirit.19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all. 20 He guards all his bones; Not one of them is broken.”

So, when it comes to finding somebody to love, I have Jesus Christ. I cannot sit in my own sorrows. I know that someday I will be given the gift of love in this life again. God will give me the answers to my prayers when the time is right. This life is cold and cruel, and the world teaches us to fend for ourselves, to care little for others, and look out for number one. We are taught something different in scripture though and that’s to love your neighbors. We are taught to love all, love your enemy, pray for everyone, and be a servant. We are told to live in this world but never to conform to it. I may be wounded but I’m not down. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9(NKJV) 8 “We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed”

I pray to God that maybe this holiday I am not alone, and maybe things are starting to change. There might be a change of season approaching, and having faith in the possibility as I keep an open mind, and try to ask what God wants me to do. I’m not a perfect man, but I try to live as Christ would want me to, and I look to the future in hopes I am following the right path. I know I’m not truly alone as long as I know God is with me. My heart desires more, but I trust in God’s plan, and I try to remain patient. God knows, and I will trust in the Lord.

 

 

Evidence Isn’t Fact

Evidence Isn’t Fact

What is evidence? Evidence:“the available body of facts or information indicating whether a belief or proposition is true or valid.” While this is true, one must consider that in a crime scene everything is gathered as evidence, and it’s weeded through to determine what is part of the case, and what isn’t.

For many years I’ve looked at a series of situations and placed a verdict based on the evidence, however, recently a new perspective was given to those situations and it’s fundamentally changed my view that all these years, I may have been wrong. In the book Cold Case Christianity By, J Warner Wallace explains the need to be objective when looking at the evidence at a crime scene. He describes a homicide and the importance of having an objective mindset free of any preconceived dispositions. I was looking at only one piece of evidence and I wasn’t examining the big picture. While the one small piece of evidence alone could have given me the end conclusion, those facts with other facts however offer a different explanation of the events. How foolish I’ve been for so long, believing I was the total cause. I put so much weight on the fact that just because I was present in different situations that I was the cause for those things to happen. I believed my self worth was based on the outcome of these cumulative events. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

I have spent years coming to a conclusion about myself, and while this new point of view is new, and exciting, change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to retrain your brain to believe something. Overwriting the original code isn’t easy, but when you consider your brain being a computer, and you need to change an idea, or a behavior, you must first learn how to hack in to the brain, and then you must learn to write new code to overwrite the old. This isn’t easy, and it takes time, but if it’s important to you, you can do it.

When you need to know what truth is, if you’re questioning where you stand, and you’re not sure where you should stand, scripture is clear, Romans 8:31“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” God is always behind us, next to us, in front of us, protecting us and if we are listening guiding us to safety. We cannot stay in our pain or sorrow. We must not focus on the people that hurt us, or those who leave us. While it’s true, people may say things that are harmful, even walk away from a friendship because they are hurting, but all we can do is pray, try to realize it may not be at fault for their departure.

Having friends leave is absolutely heartbreaking, especially when there isn’t a clear reason. The pain felt as it feels that yet another person is abandoning what seemed to be a good relationship cannot be understated. While many may look at a departure as ‘their loss’ for me and my injuries over the years it’s harder for me to look at it that way because of the cumulative effect. Having to look back over the years and evaluate my part in failed friendships, relationships, marriages, I have to understand that that I may not be at fault in each instance. I need to understand that while there will be some culpability; it may not be more then 50%. The losses I’ve experienced just in the last seven days alone have been hurtful and have created a resurgence of a worthless stance of my self-esteem.

I’ve struggled a great deal with the wonder and question as to why so many have left. It’s been said that I feel more deeply than some, that I hold on tighter than others, and in that, I hurt so much more when people show I am not valued in their life. I turn to scripture for guidance and peace, and while wounds are fresh, it can be difficult to find comfort so quickly. But, as a faithful Christian, I know that God can heal, and help my soul, and mend my broken heart. Psalm 34:18 (NKJV)18 “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.”  God is with me no matter the day, no matter the hour and it’s in His presence that peace will be given. 1 Chronicles 16:11 (ESV)“Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!”

While I started writing about looking at the evidence as to why those have left my life, I was faced with that very thing in the writing of this post. I don’t know or understand why someone would leave when I thought my presence was actually wanted and appreciated in their life. I don’t believe I did anything harmful, or hurtful, or intrusive, but I cannot allow the actions of others to define who I am. I know I try to serve others by being there for them, by helping them, by being Godly counsel for them, and trying to be what I can to help. This help isn’t always wanted, and sometimes as I mentioned in yesterdays post https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2018/10/09/parasite/

Some people may come into your life and take all they can and leave when they’ve had their fill. This is an inevitable part of life as a counselor, pastor, or doctor. You won’t always be able to help everyone, you can’t always save everyone, and no everyone wants to be saved. All we can do is step back, and peal it off of our own hearts and give it up to God. This may be one of the hardest things to do as a Christian, and in a position where you are a giver and a protector to those in pain, hurting, and suffering. The evidence is, clear, and tallied, that sometimes you have done all you can and it wasn’t ever going to be enough because some things are just out of your control. A little boy left alone in a blood filled house, has no control over the actions of those around him. A girl who’s mother walked away and chose to have nothing to do with her daughter and the anger and resentment built over a lifetime, sometimes there’s nothing that little girl can do to fix anything when mom passes away unexpectedly. It hurts, and the pain and grief is very real. We all do things when we hurt, and sometimes we are just caught in the crossfire of life innocent and free from blame. Life up one another, and be there for one another. Don’t let time pass you by in anger because by the time you want to make amends, it may be too late. We may look at the evidence spread around us, but it takes a trained, unbiased eye to root out what is part of the incident, and what’s just there.

Go with God, and trust in God to see you through the darkest of storms. It’s hard to do, but seek Godly counsel, and friends who will help carry you through. God will always give us the tools we need to do any job, but we must look for them and put forth effort. No matter what happens, as time goes on, we will be faced with tough situations, and hard times, and it’s in those times when we are hurt we must forgive, and pray. We can’t allow the pain to build, along with the anger, to stay with us because it will affect every aspect of your lives, and mine as well. Walk in peace, and love, and forgiveness. Walk knowing we are forgiven for being sinners, as we will forgive others for sinning against us. We must ask for forgiveness for those we have wronged, and understand we aren’t always at fault for the things that happens to us. Don’t hold weight for things you aren’t responsible for, but be a Christian and take responsibility for what your actions have caused. Don’t get caught up in the past, and make sure you are looking at situations objectively.

 

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