Tag: jesus

God’s Will is Sovereign, Free Will Still Remains

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God’s Will is Sovereign, Free Will Still Remains

I have been putting some thought into the idea of ‘free will’. Free will is defined by Google Definitions as “the power of acting without the constraint of necessity or fate; the ability to act at one’s own discretion.” From the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus asked the Father to take this burden from me. Matthew 26:29 “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” Jesus, though the Son of the Father, was given free will. Jesus was facing certain death, and even with that fate, Jesus has the choice to take himself off the cross at any point, but he chose to fulfill the Fathers plan. God’s will is sovereign, but even as God’s will is above all, he does not ever force our actions. 

I have waited a long time for people in my life to walk with God. There have been people I have hoped and prayed to God, that they would change their ways, change their hearts. I have prayed, and though my prayers have yet to be answered, I know that the Lord is still working in people’s lives. Even though I have not been able to see those changes, I have faith in God’s plans. Life isn’t easy sometimes, and sometimes life requires an incredible amount of patience. 

I have wondered for many years what the purpose of all my troubles have been. The death I have seen, the loss I’ve experienced, the heart break that shattered the hope in which I once had, all of it is within God’s will. I cannot walk with the Lord and be split down the middle. I cannot expect to live this life free of burdens. No matter how tough life is, the hurt that comes my way, I must remember that in all things the Glory of God must be the forefront. The burdens someone faces will never be in vain. God has given me the choice how to handle both the blessings given to me from above, and the struggles and attacks from the Devil. At no point in time can I ever say my bad choices, or handling of situations was because “the Devil made me do it.” The Lords will is sovereign and I must remember that I am a tool in God’s toolshed, and I must remain ready to answer His call. Jesus is the great healer, and no matter the troubles faced, we have the ability to heal. God heals the broken hearted, and God finds the lost. 

Dietrich Bonhoeffer said this “Since the day Jesus spoke the words, there is no longer anyone who is so forsake, who is so alone, to say that nobody has ever offered me help. Whoever has heard these words of Christ and still talks in such a way is lying and shows scorn and contempt for the words of our Lord.” Jesus cast a broad net with those words. The word All. There is no narrow hallway, this is such a wide circle that it literally would include everyone in the whole world. Who here hasn’t labored? Who here hasn’t been heavily burdened at some point or another?” 

It is hope we have received, and we burden not in vain, for the Lord Jesus sacrificed for all so we may not suffer for not. Jesus had the same free will we all have. Should we not rest assured that his words have had lasting and reverberating hope for our lives as well? No, I have not suffered for nothing, for all of my suffering, all of my hardships have prepared me for tomorrow. Everything I have endured has given me knowledge of the next step, the ability to face the next hardship with hope of the Lord beside me. No one person lives life hopeless. The Devil will try to convince you of such lies, but that’s all the Devil has to offer is lies. Now, do not mistake, the Devil has power, the Devil has legions as his will, but the fight of the Christian warrior comes with Jesus, and the legion of Angels on our side. Who shall we fear if we have the Lord on our side? We are forgiven of our sins, we have nothing to lose and nothing to fear. Who are we to hide from the fight? We must stand tall and know we are called to a higher standard of living in this world.

Bonhoeffer also says this “Politics are not the task of a Christian.

The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children.

Only he who believes is obedient and only he who is obedient believes.

The ultimate test of a moral society is the kind of world that it leaves to its children.

One act of obedience is better than one hundred sermons.

If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction.

A god who let us prove his existence would be an idol.

Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.

It is very easy to overestimate the importance of our own achievements in comparison with what we owe others.

To endure the cross is not tragedy; it is the suffering which is the fruit of an exclusive allegiance to Jesus Christ.” 

If we are to be the fruit of Jesus we must understand that the seed cannot remain a seed, but must transform into something more. We must be willing to undergo the transformation and grow beyond the seed. We must nurture our relationship with Christ, water it with the Holy Spirt, and let ourselves sprout and grow, and spread new seeds. Do not believe your labor is in vain, for this life is fleeting, the seasons come and go, but in faithfulness, the works of man shall be rewarded in Heaven. Works are not the beginning of truth, but the result of the truth that we are not saved by works, but by faith, by grace, by the Love and sacrifice of Jesus Christ, the only way to the Father. Forged in the fires of trials, we grow stronger, we are sharpened by the trials of man, to wield the strongest weapon against the darkness, the Word, the Holy Word of God which demons flea before the Cross, and we kneel. Our choices remain, and as Christ chose every second to remain on the cross for each and every one of us, we too much choose every second to remain with Christ in our fight till the day comes when the father calls us home. 

Silent Night

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Silent Night 

The world tells us that Christmas is about the presents. The world tells us Christmas is about the food, the movies, the music, the trees, the decorations, but what is Christmas? See, the word Christmas is actually two words together. The first part is of course CHRIST. And mass which is from the Latin word missa, which may be called the celebration of the Eucharist. While scholars may not all agree how the word Christmas has come to be, but one thing is clear, you can’t have Christmas without the Christ. See, Christmas isn’t about the mistletoe, or the tinsel, the gifts under the tree. 

When I was growing up there were years I didn’t have much under the tree. There were years I didn’t know where I was going to be living, While my young life was strange, and not ordinary, I can say the same about the life of Christ. Christ was prophesized more than 400 years before his birth. Isaiah 7:14 (NKJV) 14 “Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel.” There are messianic prophesize all throughout the old testament, and one by one they came true. Jesus Christ was born for us, his mother was sent away from the Inn, and was born in a manger. Jesus was laid in swaddling clothes and put in a feeding trough. Not exactly the ideal picture of a king. Jesus lived a perfect life free of sins, and yet when he was just around 2 years old his family was forced to flee their home to a land that was not of their own, away from their kin, because Harod decreed the death of all male children two years old and younger. He was trying to kill the future king foretold by the wise men, or magi. While scripture is not clear how many, it was those wise men that found Christ in a house. Those wise men however found favor and sympathy for the king and warned them of the impending doom. The gifts given to Christ helped paid for Mary, Joseph, and Jesus’s time as refugees in Egypt. 

Jesus, God, put himself on this world, put on flesh, a feat that if one considers what it must have been like going from perfection, to the decay of human flesh. The humble act of Christ to die for all of humanity; to give us the greatest choice of all, salvation or damnation. Jesus gives us all the greatest choice in this life, but it all started with the birth of a little baby boy. Christmas is about the birth of our savior. Christmas is about the joy given because before the joy of the world came forth somewhere in a city known as Bethlehem, there was no hope. Life was hopeless, and remains hopeless without Christ. Christmas is about the renewal of hope. Christmas is about the reminder that a baby existed that broke the silence of 400 years, and forever changed the course of human fate. Christ gave hope and that hope is stronger than any fear, any sadness, any sin. Christ died and paid the sacrifice for us, but without a birth, there can be no death. Christ is more than some story told in a book, but the living God who loves us so much, He renews our spirit every day. 

Go, celebrate this CHRISTmas season, but don’t let the only reminder of Christ be during the month of December, but remember Christ all year. Remember Christ and what was done for us, and remember the life Christ lived for each an every one of us. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Silent Night. 

Our Actions Have Weight

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Our Actions Have Weight 

We are but men walking along this path, with no road map, or knowledge of tomorrows fore comings. The hope we have in the struggles of this world is only found in a name, Jesus Christ. We fumble along the walk and even when we are beaten down to the ground; even when the world is unfair, and even when it seems like everything, we’ve built crumbles around us, there is still hope in the power of Jesus. We can’t always see the light through the storm, but it’s always there. The struggle we have to get up the next day, and continue to push forward must be contained and set aside. The plans for our future is known by our Father alone, and we cannot from our tiny viewpoint say with certainty we know what will come tomorrow. We must not allow fear to dictate our actions, nor shall we allow that fear to destroy our resolve to trust in our Heavenly Father. 

Something very precious was taken from me recently, and I must trust that even in the hardest of days, Christ has something better in store for me. Christ will use this unfortunate tragedy in my life and a new path, a better plan would be made clear. Nevertheless, the pain I feel is very real. The struggle of course is a challenge, one that will take time to overcome. In my life there have been few things I have been proud of myself about, and loosing something in my life that I found so important, is beyond tough. In 2004 I was on a nice little walk, a pack that weighed around 70 pounds, and very little sleep. Up till the little walk, I had not had much in the weight of protein, or nutrition, and the odds of completing such a trek were small. After several hours of struggle, turning a corner and seeing the building I had called home for over 20 weeks straight in front of me. The tears fell from my eyes out of pride for myself, that I had accomplished something I did not believe was possible, and something so many had told me I would fail. In a short time, I would stand at attention and be granted the right to carry my cross sabers. I would hold my head high and beam with self-pride. I never became prideful, but I had a new self-respect I had not known before. When I was wounded in the war and my career would end before my eyes, I felt lost, and I remained lost for many years. 

Eventually I would find my path, but it would take several years. I would struggle for years to come till yet again the world as I knew it crumbled beneath my feet. I would yet again find myself unsure of my path, but a short time later the path was made clear. I found a place I would eventually call home. When I believed I had found a new place, a place for me to truly serve, that was short lived. I guess the point I’m trying to make is, life can suck, life can be unfair, life can be difficult as putting it mildly, but no matter what words describe the challenges faced, we must always remember who’s still sitting on the throne, and who is still in control. Relieving ones self of the responsibility, the need and desire to remain in control is vastly needed to be at peace. We are not in control, and we are not in charge. While we do have a say in how we manage our situations, and we do have a say into some of the circumstances we find ourselves, we are only in charge of our own personal actions and how we react in any given situation. In all places we find ourselves we must ask, and truly pray on it, what would Jesus do? What we do and how we do it will either represent Christ or the other guy. We always have a choice, and that choice will reflect Jesus in our heart. Be conscious of your choices, be respectful of the power you have to hold Christ in your heart, and in your actions reflect Christ to those in your circle. Be slow to action, and think about those actions first. Actions may have a wider effect then you may know, and because of that, as a Christian we must be more cautious then that of the world. Much like the ability to lift Thors hammer we must be worthy. Who are we underneath is represented by our actions and how we choose to respond to difficult circumstances? Will you lift the cross, or let the world blind you? 

The Past Hurts, Tomorrow The Green Grass Grows

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The Past Hurts, Tomorrow The Green Grass Grows 

The changes in life sometimes come quickly. It’s hard to sit back and accept the changes going from a river to a waterfall and falling over the edge. Scripture offers a wonderful passage, Psalm 91:4 (NKJV) 4 He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge;

His truth shall be your shield and [a]buckler.” In the recent days I have found need of this shelter. I have found need of God’s grace, to cover me, and protect me. I have found myself under the attack of spiritual warfare, and I have needed Holy protection. While I cannot, or nor should I go into specifics of what’s happened, what I can say is my life is forever changed. 

Deuteronomy 31:8 (ESV) “It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” When I sit back and spend some time with the Lord, I find myself helpless in circumstances. While I don’t feel like my current situation is of my doing (exactly), I am helpless to change what is, so all I can do now is choose how to manage the changes I’m experiencing. 

What do we do when the world as we know it has been flipped upside down? As easy as it is to say, Romans 12:14-19  14 Wish good for those who harm you; wish them well and do not curse them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and be sad with those who are sad. 16 Live in peace with each other. Do not be proud, but make friends with those who seem unimportant. Do not think how smart you are. 17 If someone does wrong to you, do not pay him back by doing wrong to him. Try to do what everyone thinks is right. 18 Do your best to live in peace with everyone. 19 My friends, do not try to punish others when they wrong you, but wait for God to punish them with his anger. It is written: “I will punish those who do wrong; I will repay them,”[a] says the Lord.

We know that in life bad things will happen. We know that in life, we will face hardships, and we will face struggles, but we will always have God’s blessing every day. God gives us amazing grace filled opportunities, and sometimes those things come when we least expect it, and after the rain comes the rainbow. I think back to the life of Paul and look at everything he endured. When life is thrown into a tailspin, Paul often said that God’s Grace is sufficient. Paul also said in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NKJV) 18 “in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” No matter the storm, or the mountain top, the deepest or darkest valley, the calm babbling brook, no matter where you find yourself God is with you. 

As hard has this has been for me, I know that God will show me a new path. Facing these setbacks, these downfalls, and yet knowing that Jesus is the light of my world, that shines brightly, guiding me where I need to go. He will mark my path, and give me what I need to succeed. Much like the uncertainty of Moses, the questioning Gideon, and doubting Thomas who was there to see the works of Christ and yet doubted anyway, we all struggle. It’s not the struggle, it’s the growth of faith that comes from being knocked down. Strength is born out of weakness. Strength grows through pain. Romans 5:3-4 (NKJV) 3 “And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces [a]perseverance; 4 and perseverance, [b]character; and character, hope.” 

So when you are hurting. When you are lost. When you are left with confusion as to why something bad happened to you. When you feel you’ve been treated wrongly. When you feel the world is met with injustice. Just remember that people are all sinners. No matter the title someone may have, or the position they fill, everyone is subject to sin and we must remember that while it hurts, and you may go through the gambit of emotions, God is still on the throne. Jesus still loves you. Your true value comes from the Lord, and not what other people think of you. All we can do in this life is pray for those who trespass against us. Pray we are not led into our own temptation. Remember that the love of Christ is not always represented by the actions of others. God so loved the world for he gave us his only Son Jesus to die on the cross so we would have the possibility of eternal life with him. (John 3:16). When you feel like your world is fractured beyond repair, remember with Jesus, anything is possible.

Three Years After

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Three Years After

It’s been there years since I suffered a near fatal gunshot wound. Every day I’m reminded of the wound by either pain in my shoulder, or a scar that itches. No matter the time that goes by, I am truly blessed every day that the Lord of all spared me and changed my life. Jesus Christ has shaped my life and even when my day is hard, or emotional, I know that Jesus is still in control over the storm. 

Three years later I went from a breaking man, to a man still as sinful, but now I see how much more I need Jesus. I tried for so long to do it myself, even though I was a believer, even though I had accepted Christ, the difference was I still felt I could manage my life my way. I found out the hard way how wrong I truly was. 

The difference now is how I live my life. While I still have days that I struggle, I find peace knowing that even in the worst of days, I’m not alone. Since the worst day I’ve experienced, I have come a long way on my road. I’m about to finish up my degree. I have met a wonderful lady who is completely supportive of me. I have begun teaching more at church. I have even sung a song at church, taking myself way out of my comfort zone. I am still working on myself daily, and hopefully each day I am a little closer to paradise.

Sadly some things cannot change all for the positive. I have lost friends and I have watched people push me away while I was just trying to help. It’s sad to watch these things happen, but the ebb and flow of life is such. Sometimes you win some and sometimes you lose some. 

Matthew 11:28-30  (NKJV) 28 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am [a]gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

I have found myself struggling to keep moving forward. I find myself feeling sluggish in the morning. I have no desire to do much of anything through my day. I am not sure if I’m working through depression, laziness, or something else. 

Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV)31 “But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.”

No matter how hard it’s been lately, I realize that I need to hold the sword of truth. I need to maintain my Armor of God, and keep raising my sword with the strength God gives me. God has blessed me and has continued to do so. I am blessed with an amazing best friend. I am blessed with an amazing woman, Argie in my life. I am blessed with a mother who tries incredibly hard. I am blessed to have my amazing dogs Riley and Cooper. I am blessed that my needs are provided for. I hold the master sword of truth in my hands. Gods word is the infallible truth.

Joy In The Valley

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Joy In The Valley

We all have our struggles in this life. Most people don’t get through this life without some kind of trauma or loss. While not everyone will experience a terrorist attack, or war, or a natural disaster, we all find ourselves in a valley of some kind. For me I have experienced war, and loss, and extreme hardships. There’s no doubt we have our cross to bear. There’s no doubt that at some point we will find ourselves in the valley, the biggest question is what do we do when we get there? I have a keychain that hangs on my backpack that says “I will choose to enjoy the journey that God has set before me.” This doesn’t mean that the only joy is in the good times. The quote is means when we are in the valley to find the joy in God’s plan. The path before us sometimes covered in the storms, the wind, the darkness, and scary times. In those deepest of valleys, it’s then we must turn to the Lord. When we are at the highest mountain tops, we must sing praises to the Lord. 

When we are walking through this life the fire is hot but like Daniels friends we will not be burned if we have fervent faith in the Lord. While anything we face is within God’s will to stop or allow, we must understand that at no time are we experiencing anything outside of God’s sovereign will, or control. God will forever, as he always has, and always will work every situation good, bad and ugly for the purposes of light rather than darkness. Light cannot be snuffed out by darkness and since God waists nothing we must remember that everything we experience can be used for a positive purpose later.  We may not understand the reason, but we need to remember that not everything tough situation is a lesson for us to learn from, but perhaps someone within our orbit we may never know or consider. Because we never know who may be watching, we must remember to always maintain who we are in Christ. We must always maintain our walk with the Lord because we will be judged by others on our actions. We as Christians are called to live differently than the world, and sadly often times we live just the same as the world does, filled with anger, hate, and discontent. We CHRISTIANS are called to be different than that of the world. We are called to stand above the darkness and not to be consumed or influenced by it. 

I have walked through the valley, I have faced death, and I have experienced hardships, and I will be the first to say, I’ve not always lived my best self. I have not always kept my temper. I have not always kept my cool. I have not always said the right thing. I have not always done the right thing, and I will one day have to answer for those sins. I will have to answer for everything I’ve ever done or said, and I will have no one to blame but myself. When I’m in the valley, I cannot ever blame someone else for putting me there because it’s not about where I am, it’s how I handle each situation in which I find myself. Not every bad situation is self-inflicted, but some are. Some experiences good or bad are of our own doing, and we need to remember we do sometimes control the bad things in our life. If we make a conscious choice to do drugs we must remember that drugs come with a risk, a mind altering state in which scripture warns against. When we choose to take steps into a relationship in which everyone else warns, yet we move into them anyway, we cannot expect a positive outcome. When we choose to stay with someone who cheats regularly, we cannot expect that person to change their ways. When we choose to allow the world to take our focus away from God, we cannot expect our lives to go well because when we try to lead our own train, we don’t truly know how to drive, and we are likely to drive our self off the cliff. As the song says, “Jesus Take The Wheel”, we need to remember God is the architect and we need to allow Him to build us because he has the blueprint. 

Because God knows the plans he has for us, and the worst thing that could ever happen has already happened, why then do we fret over the everyday stuff? I’m not saying the worlds events don’t affect you, but we often get so wrapped up in worry, and doubt, grief, and sorrow, and sadly more often then not, stuck in anger. We need to remember that God is in control, and nothing in this world, not one single thing we experience can take our salvation from us. The worst thing that could happen to us is we die. For those who believe in Christ, we are promised the way, the path, the light of the world gifting us eternal salvation with the Father of the Universe. Why do we worry so much about everything in our life? It doesn’t matter how deep that valley is, or how bleak life is, the Lord knows what’s just around our river bend, so why are we of such little faith? Joy is found no matter the circumstance we find ourselves, joy in this world for we live for the Lord, and in the Lord sometimes we will find ourselves in that valley. The life we live is never promised to be easy, because the rewards are beyond our comprehensions. A lifetime in eternal perfection awaits us, and all we have to do is carry the cross, follow Christ, and accept that we are nothing without our savior. Give up the wheel and trust in God. Know that Jesus Christ is the only way, and we have joy no matter where we are because Christ is with us here, there and everywhere. Christ is with us in the box, with a fox. He’s with us in the house, and with the mouse. He’s with us, here, there and he is with us anywhere. Christ is with us Sam I am, he’s with us always. 

Struggles In Life?

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Struggles In Life? 

It’s time to fight in your life. It’s time to stand tall and first beyond all things bring your heart to the one true king Jesus Christ. The war comes to all of us, and we must bring our hearts to Jesus before all other things can be done. We must turn our hope to the Lord and we must find grace in our lives. We are given grace by our Lord though we don’t deserve it. We must come to you oh Lord when times are tough. We must come to you when are astray. We are attacked often by the great deceiver. We are called to show grace, show mercy, show love because we are first loved by the creator. We are called to forgive because we are forgiven, and vise versa we are not going to be forgiven lest we forgive. We must learn to submit to the Lord and we must learn to submit whole heartedly. 

The Devil wants our lives, he wants our joy. The Devil comes into our lives, sneaks, prowls, and destroys. The Devil comes and tries to break us down, he comes to destroy, but while we sit and face the struggles in life, we are not understanding how to fight. We don’t understand the enemy. We don’t understand the rules of engagement. We can’t fight Satan if we don’t know how. Are we blind to the truth, that the Devil has already lost the war? 

2 Corinthians 11:14  (NKJV) “And no Wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light.” If Satan comes and goes disguised as an Angel we must be doubly cautious and aware. We must be able to turn to the Lord in all times, good and bad to ensure we are prepared for the battle that comes. Who fights for us if we are not able to fight for ourselves? We cannot expect God to fight for us if don’t let him into our hearts. We always have God with us no matter how far we walk away from Him. 

When we stand affirmed in our faith, we must have faith that when we ask Jesus to fight our enemies when we are justified, Jesus will rise up against those who fight us, who persecute us.  When enemies try to kick down our door and we are not the instigator, Jesus will fight the fight for us. Deuteronomy 28:7(NKJV) “The LORD will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven.” Jesus fights for us, stands guard at the gate and forces the enemy to flee. 

We try to stand out on our own, but we cannot ever stand on the water alone, lest we fall in. While we may for a moment feel like we are standing on the water, we would surely submit to the gravity and fall under the water. When we step out on the water with Jesus we can achieve amazing things. James 4:7 “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” Jesus saves, and Jesus shows us the way. We are given so much, and we must remember to give in return. 

I have found myself struggling as of late, and I need to remember to give it all to Jesus. I need to remember that I cannot walk on the water alone, but it’s in Jesus that gives me the strength and power to stand tall. I was thinking about Bruce Wayne when writing this post. When we are faced with problems in our life, are we overcoming them? Are we doing our very best to be our best selves? Are we not just honing our bodies by staying fit, but are we also honing our minds and souls to Jesus? We must find ourselves focused on training our minds, and bodies, and be ready for the fight that will come. We do not stop when we are tired, we stop when we are finished, and we are finished when we are called home. Learn to run this race in endurance, and fight the fight all the days to come. 

Prayers Through The Night

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Prayers Through The Night 

The days are long but nights are the longest yet. The storms do blow, the trees bend and break. We hear the crack outside, and the light that flashes in the eye. We feel the fear in the night, but let me say to you, hold on a little longer. The nights wrought with the storm but it’s only a little while. This season you’re in won’t last forever. Hold on a little longer, for Jesus is coming, he’s on his way, have you invited him to come? Have you called the great rescuer into your life? Have you put your hope in Christ Jesus?  

Don’t be dismayed for you’re loved by our savior Jesus Christ! The burden you carry is not yours to do so. Our burden is to live in Christ. Our faith is our great burden. Christ died to take the burden of the cross, the sentence of death, yet he overcame. He overcame and washed us, each and every one of us. The faith we have is that knowing our chains in the bondage of sin are forever removed. We have the storms but have peace knowing for all things are worked together for the good and glory of God.  

In my life I have spent many nights awake not sure if I could make it through. Many nights I have wondered how it was that I could be so hated, so despised by God to allow me to go through so much pain and suffering in my life. I struggled so many nights as my tears wet my pillows. I found myself angry, and hating myself for feeling so weak. I bury my face in the pillow and scream at God. I was so young when my struggles started, and I remember many nights wishing I’d die in my sleep. I spent many weeks cursing God for allowing me to be born. I tried for years to be a good person. I tried for many years to be someone that anyone would be proud of, that I would be seen as someone with value. Yet for all those many years I found myself living every day in the storm. 

Since my time so far removed from the younger me I now realize for many years I was either being forged in fire, or tortured by the Devil. No matter which I now know since God will waist nothing in my life, I can use that pain now in my life. The storms will continue to roll, and I will continue to face struggles and trials, but what’s important is my foundation is set and I have come to build my life on Christ. I will live through the storms, the wind, the rain, but I will survive them all. See, God loved us before he met us. He loved us since before we were formed in our mothers whom. He has waited for us to be born, to love us, to cherish us, to have a relationship with us. God loved us so much, his own son died to give us eternal life. We are loved beyond measure, and no hurt we suffer, not even the tiniest sliver that pierces our skin doesn’t also hurt our Abba Father. We are loved so recklessly by our Father, and we are given so much, how could we not live a grateful life? There is no amount of pain we can endure that would ever live up to the pain Christ suffered for us. The price to eternity was high, and the price paid freely by our savior Jesus Christ. Now Christ lives, the spirit is with us every day, and even when we are in the deepest of valley’s the highest of mountains, we have Christ with us hand in hand. We need to hold on because we aren’t holding out for a Hero, the one and only Hero we’d ever need is already here. Christ is here and we just need to hold on because he will get us through any obstacle we face. We need to be ready to battle the forces of darkness every day because every day they test our defenses and every day the storms billow against the shield of grace Jesus has placed around us. 

We can go the distance because we survive the night. We fight the fight and we run the race and all the while are protected by God’s grace. We shall never fall without God knowing. We shall never be alone and we will always have hope no matter how dark the night seems to be. 

When The Call Is Made

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When The Call Is Made

Who are we when we say we are Christians? Who are we when we claim the love of Christ? What do we do when the call comes late at night? These are some of the questions I think we all need to answer. Recently I was in a situation when I didn’t know what to say, and I wasn’t sure how to answer, and I probably answered wrong. When I needed someone to talk to everyone I reached out too, or called was either too busy or not willing to talk. I sat alone in my head dealing with a multitude of emotions, and realized one very sad but real truth, God is the only friend I can count on day or night. When I needed someone there was no one, but God was still with me. 

2 Corinthians 1:4 (NKJV)4 “who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any [a]trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

When I started making calls I expected someone to answer, I expected someone would have thought of scripture Galatians 6:2 (NKJV)2 “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Yet no one came. Does that represent the kind of friend I’ve been? Have I failed as a friend to others, that when I was in need I would have no one head the call? I don’t know what more I can do for others but I surely have done all I know how. 

I have answered my phone day and night. 

I have bought someone a car. 

I have paid college bills. 

I have helped buy Christmas when needed. 

I have been there for others when they needed to cry. 

I have done so much, and yet I don’t feel it’s enough. I thought I was doing the right thing by helping people in need, but now I wonder if I was helping the wrong people all along. What have I done to others to earn so little respect? What have I done to face this kind of rejection in my time of need? 

I don’t really know what to say about it. I don’t know how to feel. I just know I hurt inside, and feel betrayed. I feel abandoned and hallow by those I thought I could count on. I am blessed to know that while so many flee, Jesus never has and he never will. 

***

It took hours for me to fall asleep, and longer to deal with the emotions I was feeling. After a deep, and long look inside, mixed with some communication with some good Christian loving friends, and a long hard cry, was feeling run down. Sleep later after church and I woke up feeling refreshed. While of course when I awoke there was no changes in the situation, but waking up more clear has left me static, caught between being okay, and not alright. 

One thing I’ve learned in the years past is we cannot place our faith in people. While I do believe most of the time people often mean well, I don’t think people are uncaring by nature, but perhaps self serving. I know that we are to love one another but I think we get caught up in life and forget that people, connections, relationships are vastly important. When I found myself empty handed from those I reached out too, I felt hurt and broken hearted. I reach out so seldomly I don’t understand how the importance was not considered and I was simply brushed aside. It seems I placed my faith in the wrong place, and I now realize, it’s my faith and trust in Jesus I need to place more focus on. I need spend more time in scripture. I need to get back to a healthy prayer life. I need to learn to place more trust in faith in my creator and less in those around me. I need to realize that I can count on only myself, and perhaps in time I will find people I can count on. 

The disclaimer to this is not a blanket statement, but regarding particular attempts at one particular time. While life is complicated and as things often get in the way, I understand that at most occasions there is perhaps at least one or two that might be able to help, however in this instance I was seeking a particular audience to talk with, and that’s where I was left alone. Life continues to move, and in the weeks ahead as I continue to face the current challenges, I know I will have to find a way to handle and manage the many feelings that come. I’ve made the call, but instead of people, I’ve now called upon Christ to raise me up, give me strength, and guide me. 

Ashes Ashes, They All Fall Down

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Ashes Ashes, They All Fall Down

The tongue is a powerful tool. So many people will come and go out of your life, but I think we’ve lost the ability to truly care for people. How I’ve seen friendships grow, and grow, and yet in the blink of an eye crumble like a house made of cards. The spark that lit the match and the whole of the friendship burnt down to ash all around. The tongue has the ability to lift up and do and say great things, but at the same time it can destroy, and tear down all manner of friendships. Scripture is very clear about the power of the tongue, and love. Both of which go hand in hand, but how often is the words in the Holiest of Holy books ignored. What does scripture say about the tongue and what we say? 

Proverbs 21:23 (NKJV)

23 “Whoever guards his mouth and tongue

Keeps his soul from troubles.”

Ephesians 4:29 (NKJV)

29 “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary [a]edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”

Proverbs 12:18 New King James Version (NKJV)

18 “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword,

But the tongue of the wise promotes health.”

When people are wounded they often justify the hurting of others. They say and do anything to make sure they don’t get hurt, and if that means they shut themselves off from the world and caring for others, the sad fact is, it happens all the time. 

In the last…. Well most of my life, I’ve watched my friendships, and relationships build up, and then in the blink of an eye topple over and burn to the ground in ash. In fact, it hasn’t just been friendships I’ve watched burn to the ground but nearly all relationships that I’ve held most dear. Not a day goes by when I don’t look to the future and wonder what my days will hold. Every day I walk is a day I have to put forth effort. Every day I watch my steps, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t wonder what relationship was going to burn to the ground on any given day. Some may call it cynical, but from my perspective, it’s more of a manner of time then anything else. Wounds made by the tongue are hard to get over sometimes. Wounds that are from the collapse of a relationship (friendship, marriage, etc.) are even harder to manage. It took me years to realize the hurtful nature of people, and even longer to realize the love and mercy of my Abba Father. Despite so many losses, through it all I know that my God is still by my side daily. It’s taken me years of hurt, and heartache to get to a point where I am no longer crushed under the waves of the sea. 

When we care for someone, or care for people, how must we act? We are told time and again how important our tongue is, and how damaging it can be. I myself am not free from sin in the matter. In my past I’ve often let things from my lips that I knew where hurtful, specifically because I was hurt, and in my vanity and in my pride, I wanted to send my pain right back at the other person. Love is the only way to fight evil. Love is the only way to return pain that can be inflicted. The old Axum is true “hurting people hurt others.” Love however, is not just love of a spouse but the love we must all share for one another. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NKJV)

“4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not [a]puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [b Keeps no accounts of evil] Thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

If love suffers long, that means being first in line that suffering long is the most important aspect of love. It also keeps no record of wrong doing. If we are to love in this manner, that means we are to speak no ill words towards those we love. Sadly this is perhaps the most difficult thing people will face in their lives. This world hurts us deeply and that anger, and resentment quickly hardens the heart. Fear of being hurt can often turn outwards and instead of words being used to lift up, to show love, to show kindness, that fear sabotages friendships, or relationships and sinks ships. 

When words are thrown around, or even when actions against someone is taken, behind it all at the root of it all is self. Even if the root is self-preservation, the base is self, and self often leads to sin. Sin destroys everything it touches. Sin is cancer, it’s a disease, it’s the cause of evil in the world. Sin is what causes our lips to spew venom. The lips and the forked tongue behind them are the most powerful weapon on the planet, and sadly the amount of broken hearts, the amount of tears, the amount of pain that’s it caused far surpass the number of dead throughout all eternity. The tongue is such a small little thing, yet driven by the sinful heart, produces terrible amounts of pain. 

In my life I’ve been blamed for my own suffering. I’ve been told I was worthless. I have been told I should kill myself. I’ve bene told I was ugly. I’ve been told I would never find happiness. I’ve been told I deserved to be cheated on. I’ve been told I was so awful that anyone around me would want to kill themselves just to get away from me. The list could go on for miles, but I think the point has been made. Eminem once said “they can be great Or they can degrade, or even worse they can teach hate” (Sing for the moment, Eminem). How true, words have such power. In a life lived where there’s been so many words pointed in my direction, how have I managed to push forward? In some instances I’m still working on it. I’ve slowly come to realize just because someone says something doesn’t make it true. Even though the words hurt, there is power in love and forgiveness. Despite the failings, and the destruction of so many different relationships through the years, I try to maintain optimism that each and every new friendship will be different. This isn’t always the case, and I sometimes find myself being hurt, abandoned, or ‘ghosted’ in today’s society. It isn’t easy watching people leave, or have such a disregard for someone’s feelings, but we must remember that to put our faith in people is foolish. Placing your faith in God is the only absolute. People and their sin nature will let you down, they will hurt you, they will fail you, and you will be powerless to stop it. It’s not easy, or fair, but it’s the sad reality of living in a fallen world. I’ve watched helplessly as friendships fell to ruin, and I always blamed myself. I felt I was at fault, and it was me. Perhaps to some extent it was me, but what’s more likely is my taste in friends. If I choose friends who will speak ill, abandon me in a time of need, only come around when they need something, then apropos they are not the Christian friends I need or needed in my life. 

Hold onto the friendships you can, and those you can’t, let them go. Hold onto the relationships you can but the ones that will leave you, let them leave, and remember Jesus Christ will never leave, nor will he ever forsake you. Hope misplaced can be devastating, so we must hope in the Lord, and hope for the best in people, but prepare for the worst from them. The Lord’s love is never in question, nor is his presence in your life. There is only one cure for sin and that’s Jesus Christ, but so long as we live in this world, even those who know Christ are still subject to sin, and thus still subject to letting down those they care for. Don’t let a forked tongue burn down your relationships. Don’t let hateful speech flow from your lips. Don’t let words that do not build up break the sound waves. Don’t let your friendships turn to ash. Don’t let your relationship be damaged by words of hate or anger. Hold your tongue, hold your voice. Just because something is the truth doesn’t mean it has to be said. Just because you have a thought doesn’t mean it needs to be spoken. Remember that people have feelings and hurting someone is like hurting Jesus. We are one body in Christ and to hurt one is to hurt Christ. 

Hold yourself to a higher standard and really dive into scripture about how we are to talk to one another, behave towards one another, and how we expect God to behave towards us. We expect a different behavior from God, when we treat others badly. Don’t allow Satan to harden your heart with anger and hatred, and fear. God gives us a spirit of courage, not of fear. Don’t allow the song “ring around the rosy” to represent your friendships or relationships. As for me, I watch friendships dissolve to ash, and one by one they fall down.