Best Laid Plans

Best Laid Plans

I’ve been thinking about Paul and his missionary journeys. I’ve been thinking what it really meant for those times, to give up ones family, to give up stability for the unknown of the road. In a time when Christians were being persecuted and not just thrown into jail, but the roman candles, and the lion games. I’ve been thinking about how easy it would have been to give it up and go home. What does it truly take to be obedient, and what does it take to not just be obedient, but to plan ahead for when the plan goes belly up, or flies off the rails. 

Acts 16:6-10 “Now when they had gone through Phrygia and the region of Galatia, they were forbidden by the Holy Spirit to preach the word in [a]Asia. 7 After they had come to Mysia, they tried to go into Bithynia, but the [b]Spirit did not permit them. 8 So passing by Mysia, they came down to Troas. 9 And a vision appeared to Paul in the night. A man of Macedonia stood and pleaded with him, saying, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.” 10 Now after he had seen the vision, immediately we sought to go to Macedonia, concluding that the Lord had called us to preach the gospel to them.

We see Paul multiple times trying to get into Asia to preach the Gospel, but found his plan wasn’t going to work, and instead God had a different plan. We often find ourselves in the same situations in our life. We plan and even the best laid plans fall apart and leave us scratching our heads as to why. For example. I attempted to recently create a leantu out of PVS for the Yurt/Bell tent I currently live in. For whatever reason, as much as I tried to plan ahead, it quickly became apparent that I was wrong. I was supposed to create a video for the Vermont mission trip I attended in 2020, but when I sat down to do the video, the hard drive I’ve used for a few years, failed. The drive containing nearly 600 gigs of information, pictures, photo shoots, videos, documents, every paper I ever wrote in college, and more, held hostage by a failure in the drive. It’s no surprise that the failure most certainly affected me emotionally, but one thing I needed to be reminded of was to find peace in the storm. I was reminded how important to stay calm, take time to analyze the problem, and to face them with clear heads. 

Much like the sea of Galilee storms can come at any time, with little or no warning. Someone asked me recently why God would allow something to happen. They did not blame God, but questioned God’s passive stance to allow such a horrible thing to happen. Of course, when these questions come up, there are no good answers. Pain, suffering, loss, are all difficult to understand. The big picture is impossible for us to see, and furthermore, it’s hard to determine where or why these bad things happen. Sometimes, we are collateral damage and others sinful nature hits us like a rogue wave in the waters. Sometimes we are the epicenter for our own earthquake. We are the cause by our own actions and choices. Either way, this world we live in, is corrupted by sin, and bad things happen. We know through scripture that no matter where we find ourselves, God works all things for the Good. Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,[a] for those who are called according to his purpose.” This isn’t easy, and when we are hurting it’s hard to see the good through our pain. We are blinded by our own emotions, and we see the world through a worldview, but the truth is, through the eyes of God, perfect judgment, justice, grace, mercy, and love, we cannot fathom what is truly fair or righteous. The sudden loss of a loved one, a job, or sickness, or some other event we find unfair, our emotions compromise our ability to see beyond. We must always remember that not a single day passes we are not given that chance through mercy. If God abhors sin, and we are sinners, then any micro second, we are allowed to exist is an act of cosmic mercy. When the world became so fallen and filled with sin, God sent a flood to wipe clean the slate. This grace we see in our daily lives, is often taken for granted. For whatever reason, our minds seek the smooth and easy path. The moment things get tough, or we suffer loss, we assume God is unfair, or punishing us. God is a mystery, and his ways are beyond our understanding. What we may see as bad, might be the best thing that could have happened. We often don’t see when we need to change paths, but God does. God knows what will move us, motivate us, and get us going, so sometimes the methods aren’t pleasant. All we can do is dig into the scripture, walk with the Holy Spirit, and do our best every day, killing off our old selves, and allowing the person we are today, to be reborn of the Holy Spirit, daily. 

I spent a lot of time thinking about my old self, and the person I was before. I spent a lot of time wondering how people would treat me if they knew the truth. I spent a lot of time worried that the person I was yesterday was what people would remember. I learned something through my church, that even if some talk, the majority are there to love, support, and pray for you. I lost my way after my ex-wife’s affair. I felt broken and battered, and in that pain, bad things happened. Things that in some ways I still haven’t been able to move past. I have one final step, and truth be told, I’m afraid. I’m afraid that day, that one bad day will forever define me. I have let that fear stop me from moving forward. I have let that fear take hold, and prevent me from making one single meeting. It’s okay to feel fear, it is not okay to let that fear control you. Speaking from personal experience, it’s of course easier said than done. I have planned over and over again to make that appointment, but every time I think today is the day, I back out. Fear is normal, but where I have failed, I hope you succeed. We all have our struggles. We are always looking at the world through the lens of yesterday, but I implore you, always let your lens be that of scripture. 

As I have moved into my Yurt/Bell tent, I have seen over and over again, how quickly plans can change. As I have attempted more than once to get something to work, I see the story of man in these last few weeks. I have toiled, I have till the land, worked hard, and even in doing so, the sin filled world shows me that not every plan will work out the way we hope. A lesson I learned a few years ago, I have never forgot the wise words “Make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, Throw away the plan.” (Lenard Snart, The Flash. 2017) While this is of course wisdom, what does scripture say? 

Proverbs 16:9 ESV “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” 

Proverbs 19:21 ESV “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 

Remember, that we may have our heart set on doing something, walking a particular path, or even doing something in a particular way, but we must remember, that our best laid plans, may not be the Lord’s plan for us. Sometimes when a plan fails, we may not know it, but it could very well be the best thing to happen to us. 

I have always wanted children, and for a little over a year when I was married that was exactly what we were trying to do. Now, 5 years later, I find myself in a new place in my life. I find myself happy, and content. I find myself free from the old me, and walking a new path. What seemed like a horrible and heart breaking year, I now see was God saving me. If God grants me a child, I know it will be in His perfect timing, and his perfect plan. For whatever reason plans have failed for the Yurt. I have had things come and go in the last few years and as I continue to grow, I understand that some stones we step on are big, and some small, but all allow us to move forward. The key, for us, is not to go backwards. We must learn that some stones are but quick platforms to move quickly from, and others we may be on for a while before moving on. 

Don’t lose hope when something doesn’t work out quite the way you want. Don’t lose hope when God says no, or even not yet. As Paul realized, that God’s plan is perfect, and even though we may think we know what we are meant to do, as Paul found his place was not in Asia, he knew someone else’s would be. We need to walk with the Holy Spirit as Paul was, to decern when and where we are supposed to be. Have faith in God’s plan, and take your own plans with a grain of salt. As I was once told, “flexible people don’t get bent out of shape.” (Dr. Rev. David Chambers). Through Christ who gives me strength, I can do all things. Christ who guides me, and watches over me, as I am part of His flock. I know I am not able to do this on my own, and I no longer expect to have what it takes to do this on my own. Have faith in the Lord, and let Him establish your plans. 

Catch my weekly videos at Arrow Preacher on youtube. 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV3r024gS2FRDIbpqnsDwWA

Grief out of Love

“What is Grief, but love persevering.” Vision

There is no question that life can be hard. Life can leave us broken, battered on the floor. We ask why, why God? We find ourselves alone, lost, in a world full of pain. We lose people we love. Betrayed and sold out by those we cherished. Ignored by friends. Passed over for a promotion at work. Watch a child pass away. Bury a parent after years fighting dementia. We ask why God. We need God, we cannot make it through this alive without God. It is said that God never puts more on us than we can handle. This is utterly not true. God allows us to go through trials and tribulations because his will is perfect. We are not to rely on our own faulty strength but rather, we are to turn to our Abba Father to deliver us from evil. Philippians 4:13 ESV “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” If we relied on our own strength we would fail. Isaiah 41:10 ESV “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” It is Gods strength that sees us through. When left to our own path, our own desires, we often make our situation worse. Life hurts sometimes. Heartbreak happens. This life we live surrounded by the very presence of sin, we are often caught in the sights of sin, or collateral damage to sin, or the origin of the sin impact. This world leaves battle scars. No one gets out of this life without them. No matter who you are, where you come from, you’re going to end up with scars. Fear not says the Lord. Jesus says when you face tribulations, John 16:33 33 These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you [a]will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” Face the world daily and turn to God for everything. Do not pity yourself or the dead, for if they knew the Lord they have not died, but are truly alive. It’s okay to grieve, to miss someone’s presence. Turn to God and find peace.

THE SILENCE GROWS

The silence grows

I write to you, even pour out feelings, but met with silence. I took the time, I write and write. Day after day, I take my time to beak the silence as I reach out to you. So many out, and nothing in return. Years of building relationships. Years of extensive, extending a hand in friendship. Picking up the phone from every call and message. I extended my wallet, my ear, my trust, my heart, and now it’s silence. A fool I’ve been, I couldn’t see, because I didn’t want too perhaps, my kindness used and abused. In my own time of need you were no where to be found. How could I have been so blind. The years of darkness I felt, suddenly creeps back in. The seeds fall and grow choking the life and happiness from my life. Abandoned yet again, the flash in my mind, as history repeats itself. Broken on the floor the tears just won’t flow. I do not know why, or how I got here. The color fades to black and white, the hurt a crushing feeling that buries in shame. The darkness settles in like an old friend. Must I say goodbye? Must I feel such loss yet again? Is this natures pruning? Did I mean so little to so many? Was I a convenience at the time, and without warning or word, expendable? History it seems repeated again. What have I learned? How to break, how to hurt. I’ve learned so much and yet again, here I am. The lessons seem to fade to mist. What can I do, when I reach for you, I reach and reach, into the darkness. I reach and lunge but like casting the fishing line, it comes up empty, every time. I see you there, you’re always around, but my hand you don’t take, a reach into the folly.

You’re not my enemy, I pray for you, I drop

to my knees and wish happiness upon you. I ask nothing of you except friendship. I have heard your tears. I’ve listened to your screams. You even once, heard mine. So close, but now ships passing on a fog filled night. Should I let go? Should I call out louder? Will my cries be heard? If you wanted to talk wouldn’t you reach out? What should I do? A broken heart makes poor choices. But, it isn’t just broken, but angry. Years and years of open roads. The pouring out of memories, feelings, thoughts, and now the road ends, the road I’d taken for years, can no longer be traveled. An absence, and yet a carrot dangled in front of me, teasing me, a sign, or is it?

I place so much in all the wrong places. I crave acceptance. I crave being wanted, and needed by others. I crave feeling important. I place that up high, an endless race I could never win. How many must I loose before I see the truth? How many must walk away before I find my value elsewhere? I walk miles upon miles seeking what I could never have. A hollow hole, unable to be filled. Jesus set me free from this cycle I find myself in. Jesus set me free from this pain. These shackles bind me and break me. Jesus be my chain breaker and show me a better way. Heal these wounds of the ages, and heal my broken heart. Jesus heal me and light my way home. Jesus my heart hurts, broken from saying goodbye. Jesus you pieced me together atom by atom, cell by cell. You’ve watched me grow, suffer, laugh and cry. Jesus you know my heart is breaking to pieces. Jesus lift me up and dry my tears. Take me out of this place and show me my value in you. Jesus show me that there’s more then this. Jesus my light on the hill, my shepard come find me, a lost sheep in the wilderness. I cannot do this on my own. I am fragile but strong. My heart breaks but I am not broken. I hurt, but I do not crumble to the ground. Jesus my rock, the rock, my foundation, my anchor in the storm, you save me when my sails are torn, and the keel creaks in the rough waters of this storm. Jesus my Lord, Jesus my light, dry my tears and guide me back, guide me to safety, my Lord. I cannot do this without you. I cannot stay in the darkness. I cannot stay in the silence. I long for Harold of the angels. I crave the sound of the choir of Heaven. I seek your face my Lord, I seek you in the darkness, lift me up, save me, save me from myself, this world, this hurt. Show me the blessings, so many abound around me. Teach me to number my days, so I may grow a heart of wisdom. Teach me to manage when I’m at the still waters, the green meadows, or the shadow of death. In you I trust my Lord. You hear my cries, deliver me from this toil.Free me. To you I pray.

Plenty of Blame

Plenty of Blame

I recently saw a report where New York Gov. Cuomo attempted to place blame of Covid-19 deaths on former President Trump. It occurred to me that this is nothing new, but rampant right now. IF we spent less time pointing fingers, and instead acknowledge that first we all share blame, down to the individual household, and also less time pointing fingers, and more time sitting at the table to work on the problem, we would be able to find reasonable solutions. Problems such as these are often much bigger, far larger, than one person. Every single human is currently responsible for the outcome we face. From not wearing masks, to not staying home, to hosting parties, to unnecessary travel, etc. We all place blame, but largely, if you want to be more specific, how much can we really do to fight a pandemic? While this isn’t the first time, it is the first time that a virus could travel so easily around the world, so quickly. I would say, preparedness is largely problematic. Were we ready? No, of course not. This problem goes back a long way. Pointing out all the failures could easily be an entire blog on its own, but right now I don’t feel that’s what we need. Suffice to say, we are ALL responsible for the current conditions we find ourselves in. 

God has allowed this virus to take hold of the earth. We may not know if this was caused, or allowed to happy, but either way, God is still in control of all things. God’s love is sufficient, and in these troubled times, we need to remember where we can go with our broken and lost hearts. 

Hebrews 4:16 ESV “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

WE must remember that no matter what we are facing we are accepted into the arms of the Abba Father. We must take this time and turn to the Lord. We must trust in the Lord that He is sovereign over all, and we must trust in His will. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

WE have all lost something in this pandemic. We voted and a new President took office. We may not like, we may love it, but regardless, for the next four years, we are here. We are one nation under God, and unless we want to see this great nation face judgment, we must turn from our ways and find it in our hearts to repent. God has been more than gracious with giving us time to do so, but now’s the time to stand firm on our beliefs. Are we to allow our country to go down a dark path? Perhaps, we will. We must all face ourselves and check our hearts. We must start with the man/woman, in the mirror. We must turn to the Father and ask for the forgiveness, and the courage to stand where we must. We cannot continue to pass blame and point fingers. 

Start Right Here By: Casting Crowns

We want our coffee in the lobby

We watch our worship on a screen

We got a Rockstar preacher

Who won’t wake us from our dreams

We want out blessings in our pocket

We keep our missions overseas

But for the hurting in our cities

Would we even cross the street?

Huh but we wanna see the heart set free and the tyrants kneel

The walls fall down and our land be healed

But church if we want to see a change in the world out there

It’s got to start right here

We cannot continue to expect the light to shine if we ourselves are hypocrites. Do we stand against abortion? Sure, if you’re a Christian you should, but at the same time, are you supporting low income families? Are you helping that single mother hurting? Are you supporting foster parents, and adoptions? It’s not an easy ask, but if Christians would truly support those ventures and not just in prayer, but in time, money, and support, those supporting abortions wouldn’t have a solid argument. Make no mistake, abortion is a sin, but no more of a sin than the over consumption of alcohol, the adultery, the lying, the gossiping going on all around us. IF we want a change we have to start right here, right now, in each of our hearts. 

Christians, I call to you, I implore you to seek a Biblical worldview, instead of following along the secular one. I beg you to see the light of Christ. WE must come together, and we must stop the infighting, stop the complaining, stop the hate. We must not judge others by their skin, their clothes, their social status, or the country they hail from. We must find balance. We must find love in our hearts, and find a way to uphold the law of the land, uphold the law of scripture, and love our neighbors. Are we really taking care of the church as we were asked to do so? Are we managing the talents we were given, or burring it in the sand letting it go to waist? Church, let us do better. Let us live in love. Let us shine the light of Christ in the tumultuous times. Go in peace, go in prayer, and go in love. 

In The Year 2020

In The Year 2020 

I think we can all agree, the year 2020 will forever be remembered as a weird, and in many aspects, a horrible year. Early in the year with the exception of the Corona Virus wreaking havoc in Asia, it seemed like a normal year. By February however I came to realize China was loosing the battle of containment, the government in the US did not take the virus serious enough, and failed to implement containment protocols. The country since then has been burning down. There have been cities erupting into anarchy in riots and protests. There have been Murder Hornets, and country wide fires in Australia. There have been volcano eruptions, earthquakes, and even as recent as August, there has been a Hurricane, and an Earthquake in North Carolina in the same week. North Carolina doesn’t often have earthquakes so it’s odd. There was a massive explosion in Lebanon which nearly leveled the city. There was a major plane crash in Pakistan. Locusts in Africa. Explosions in Lagos, and sadly more. 

With such a polarized year, politicly, economically, naturally, and even the micro problems inside the homes of billions of people worldwide, the problems of finances, food shortages, rising food costs, lowering of gas prices, depression and other mental health problems, there have been a slew of challenges to overcome. Not to mention the polarizing problems over school, masks, and other hot button topics. 

There is no shortage of troubles, in fact, the year 2020 is being used as a measurement of how bad things can get. While there are many who are afraid of what’s going on right now in the world, Christ overcomes fear through us. What is fear? Fear is an emotion response to something we perceive as dangerous or harmful. Fear of falling is actually a fear of dying, because it’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the ground. Fear of the water, essentially is not water itself, but rather what’s in it, what you cannot see, or something such as a flood. Fear of fire, again, is the fear of the destruction it brings, or the life it ends. Fear of failure is not living up to expectations, of not amounting to anything, not being good enough. When you really break it down, 2020 has hit most people’s fear in some way shape or form. Fear of losing jobs, losing loved ones, losing homes, stability, or even your health. We are a combined equivalent to the life of Job. When you read the book of Job you see a man who had everything his heart could want, a man truly content with his life. God gave Satan permission to stricken Job with numerous disasters, to test humans resolve of faith towards God. Job loses everything. It is not much different then today. While it was one person who was stricken with all kinds of problems, every one of us has experienced at least one disaster that befell Job. The thing about Job was, he knew the Lord, and he trusted the Lord. While he did not understand his torment, he remained faithful, even despite his friends turning their backs on him. Under extreme circumstances Job maintained his witness to the Lord. Can we say the same? Job was stricken with so much heartache, ruin, destruction, and yet remained faithful and loyal to the Lord. We experience one tragedy and how quickly are we to turn to the Lord and shake our fist, “Look what you let happen!” We yell to the Lord, or perhaps worse things are said. 

I have come to a point in my life where I have realized the importance of seeing when a door closes to move on to the next. Much like the storm troopers looking for the droids in “A NEW HOPE’. Once the door being checked is locked, move on to the next. We too are searching, are we not? We are looking for the route to take, but I question each and every one of us, are we taking the path which is the easiest, or the right one? As Dumbledore is quoted, “We must all face the choice between what is right, and what is easy.” Of course, we creatures who desire comfort and ease above most other things, don’t want a life of turmoil and hardships. That being said, we do forget that this life is only temporary, and it is eternal glory that awaits any person who accepts Christ as both Lord and Savior. This gift of glory is not for the faint of heart, yet, as scripture said, a narrow road. Many will try, few will succeed. While we are not given a percentage, or even a number of those allowed into the gates of heaven, as some suggest, we know that Christ said ‘and on that day many will call out my name stating Lord Lord, look at what I have done in your name.’ He replies, “Depart from me for I never knew you’ Matthew 7:22. Are we to be one of those people who work so hard to enter the gates of Heaven, yet fail to grasp the point in our hearts? I’m not sure which is worse, those who never knew Christs, or those who did and turned their backs on Him.

It is easy to place blame when something goes wrong. It’s easy to start dropping names as to why things flew off the rails. Someone said this, this person did that, etc. I myself have been guilty of proclaiming ‘God, why are you doing this to me?’ In reality, when most bad things happen as we perceive them as bad, God is in fact not to blame, instead we could blame Satan, Sin, or the harder finger to point, towards ourselves. Bad things happen in this world, simply because it’s a fallen world. While Satan and his demons do play a large roll in falling to the temptations, hearing the voices of doubt, the voices of fear, the voices of mistrust, and lust, and gluttony, and debauchery, we are the ones who must take responsibility not for the bad things that tempted us, but rather for giving in to those temptations. The world under Satan’s rule is designed to tempt you, to pull you away from the Cross. On the day of reconning, we will have to answer for everything we’ve ever done, every choice we’ve made, everything thing we’ve said, all of it. We will not be able to pass blame like the six year old siblings arguing with each other. Simply, here in the year 2020, there’s been a lot of hardships, a lot of heart break, and more. Despite everything, we must still face the fact we are fully responsible for our actions in this life. We as Christians are responsible for the name Christ we claim to hold. We have taken on the responsibility for being set apart of this world, to act and look different. That doesn’t mean just talking differently or attending church seasonally, but rather being that reflective light on the hill. We are ambassadors in this land, and we must act as such, to include our general state of mood. While I’m not saying you can’t have bad days, hard days, or even seasons of depression, but rather, while battling these storms in your life, remember to share the joy that you should always keep guarded from outside attacks. Attacks come every day, from every direction, and this year, we humans have certainly seen our fair share of hardships. I have heard many claim this is the beginning of the end times. While I don’t know, because scripture says we won’t know the time of the Lord’s return, what I do know is we must always be ready for that day.

We mustn’t worry about tomorrow, as “it will worry for itself”. Matthew 6:34. We cannot control the events of the day, yet called to be in our present, so let us instead focus our time on the truth. Focus our time on the things that truly matter. While it is important that jobs matter, and making an income matters, we mustn’t let that steal away our focus to our children, our spouses, our loved ones, or our friends. Relationships are the most important thing. If it isn’t, why then would Christ tell us the most important thing is to “Love our neighbor”. He didn’t say make sure you go to work 90 hours a week to put food on the table. We reap what we sew, but that fellowship, that relationship with the Lord, and our relationships with people are in fact the most important thing. We seem to have forgotten that this year. While we have been called to social distance, instead of personal distance, we have perhaps forgotten that while we are away from work, school, and other social gatherings, that it is in fact, the will of our Father that we remain social beings. It is stated in scripture that our fellowship is important, and we shouldn’t forget it. We must remember to remain safe, but through technology we have been given a wonderful gift of communication. It is the sword of the Holy Spirit we must hold on to, and through the forging of our minds, and our spirits, we must venture through this year, and into the next, ready to battle against more divide, battle against more racism, more sexism, more discrimination, and at the heart of it, more hate. Every passing day where we do not keep out such things, we fall prey to the roaring lion seeking to devour us. As said in scripture, it is not against flesh and blood we battle, but against principles, against the power, against the rulers of darkness. Ephesians 6:12. We must pick up the sword which is the word, and hold it high so our enemies may see the glint of the light emanating from it. We must rise above the lies, and the deceits told by Satan and his demons. The sword is more powerful than any weapon ever forged by man, and it is the living truth, the Holy Book, written as God’s love letter to us, instruction in which we must follow, guidance for when we are hurting, a compass for when we are lost, correction for when we are wrong, and the punishment for those who fail to accept Jesus Christ as both Lord and Savior.

Yes 2020 has been a hard year, but it has been so much more than just difficult. For many this year, they have had to learn to reinvent themselves. For many their faith was put to the test. For many, they walked away from church and haven’t returned, and won’t. This year has strained relationships, strained wallets, fractured families, and even a nation. It has become evident that the foundation in which this country was founded has cracked and changed. We have seen disruption come in every aspect of life, and God has used this horrible virus to get our attention. Will we turn our backs on Him? Will we bend a knee and bow a head? Some, sadly have simply put, given God the middle finger, and have chosen to double down on their lost, sinful behavior. We must remember what scripture teaches us. If we are to correct, first we must remove the plank from our own eye. Then we are to do so with kindness and compassion. More precisely we are to do everything in love and with love, and through love. We cannot simply say, ‘I’m doing this because I love you.’ If we are not kind, and gentle, yet firm and patient, we have not truly understood what it is to love. Even though Job went through horrible things, he knew God still loved him. Even though God allowed horrible things to happen to his child Job, God felt deeply for what Job was going through. Just because bad things happen to you, doesn’t mean the Father doesn’t also hurt for you. When you take your child to get braces, or a shot, those pains are temporary, but necessary. You as a parent also hurt when your child hurts, and sometimes in their life they are going to hurt. We cannot always stop our children’s hurt, and we can’t always be there for them every step of the way. Let me put that another way. It is not always in a parents best interest for the child, to stop the hurt from coming. Pain is what allows us to grow. Pain in making our own choices. Pain in growing. Pain in other people’s choices, but no matter where the pain comes from, as a parent you know you will stand with your child. Even the best of parents in this life will never measure up to the parent God is. The perfect Abba father. The one who knows all, sees all, and understands all we go through. Scripture tells us this pain on earth is only but a while, but compared to the joy in eternity it is nothing, just a whisp of smoke. We must be patient in this life and expect more difficult years, and yet, even in the difficult years, we must take the time to appreciate the majesty that is this world the Lord has given us. What am I trying to say? Stop focusing on all the negative in your life and stop and appreciate some art, stop to appreciate a song, stop to appreciate your favorite show, your family, your friends, your life, and the time the Lord has given to you. Every breath is in fact a gift, and we must learn to be more grateful, than doubtful. We must learn to be more gracious, and have gratitude for every good gift that comes from our loving father in heaven. Keep on pushing on, and as always, God Bless you this holiday season.

Let Us Get One More

Let Us Get One More

It is our duty, a charter, a command from our Lord and Savior that we go forth in a great commission, to build upon itself a great church, a rock, an immovable object of faith and truth, that all who would believe in Christ, be baptized and inherit to Kingdom of God. What does that mean? What does it mean to inherit the responsibility we have been given? I’ve been putting thought into what it means to receive this charter? 

Christians for a long time have sat by and watched the world change around them. I’m not referring to just watching the decades pass by, but rather, watching as moral decay seems to have run unchecked. We Christians have been given a charter beyond what we could ever imagine. I daresay, while we have not failed in the great commission, we are not doing a good job. 

Matthew 28:16-20 “Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, to the mountain which Jesus had appointed for them. 17 When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some doubted.

18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

There are Christians who take the commission given, and go abroad and make disciples in the name of Christ. Some people do mission work at home, and host bible studies, outreach programs, and other events to bring people the love of Christ. That being said, if it is true that there are 205 million Christians, why then is there such a rise in moral depravity? If those who claim Christianity, why are we so ugly to one another? Sadly, it would seem, there is a lot who take on the name of Christian, but how many of the 205 Mil. are cultural Christians, sideline Christians, or fully-fledged, submitted Christians? Now, I will say, it’s not my place to determine what’s in someone’s heart, I am not qualified to do so. However, scripture says this, Matthew 7:15-17 15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.” If this is true, then if we know that a prophet in this sense is referring to those who claim to speak in the name of the Lord. But we can also take this a bit further. In other scripture verses, it talks about the vine of the spirit, and those vines that do not bear fruit will be pruned. We are the vine that bares fruit in the name of the Lord. If we are part of the vine, do our actions look like Christ? 

It breaks my heart when I turn on the TV and I see people being ugly to one another. It breaks my heart to see people in the street screaming profanities about our President, screaming insults at our President elect. It breaks my heart to see cops even if accidently, killing a man in their custody. It breaks my heart to see protesters injuring police, burning down peoples hard made businesses. It breaks my heart to see all the rape, murder, and cruelty to one another. I sit back, and I think to myself, what have we come too, where we think it’s okay to do these kinds of things? 

The hope we have in Christ, comes with the knowledge that things will continue to ‘fall apart’, before it gets better. In the time we have, we are chartered to make the very best of every day we have. When we go outside our door, we have the responsibility of Christians to either share the Gospel, or live in a way that we look different than that of the world. If you are a saved Christian and you believe you are given a gift in which we do not deserve, why would you want to keep that gift a secret? Why would you hide the light under the bed for no one to see? If you are a Christian, do you walk an isle on Sunday, but get hammered on Friday? Do you swear like a sailor and fall into depravity? What about a life of debauchery? Do you look like a man or women of Christ? We must be careful with our actions, and we must take time to look within, and ask the hard questions. When we look in the mirror, do we see Christ looking back, or is it a man or woman of the world? 

Christians truly need to be doing better at being Christ(like). When I look at our nation (US) I am saddened by the divide. I’m saddened to see the racism, the hate, the cruelty to one another. I’m saddened to see so many battling mental health problems, substance abuse, addictions, toxic relationships, and the list goes on. Like no other time in recent history it seems people are so alone now more than ever. We are not just physically distant, but emotionally as well. We are not loving as we are called to do so. The term ‘neighbor’ is no different than the parable of the good Samaritan, our neighbor is now the traveler that fell upon forlorn circumstances. We have become a people of the priest and a Levite. We call ourselves good people, but our actions would speak differently. We are not good people; we are not worthy people. No, sadly, we often turn a blind eye to those suffering, and to those in need. We often fail to share Christ even when the opportunity is right in front of us. I’m not talking about shoving Christ down people’s throats, but we should be offering to pray for others, we should be asking people to join us in church, we should be offering to help those in need. We don’t always have to do this help with money, sometimes, time is all that is needed. Are we offering time to pray? Are we offering time to help a single mother get out for a night? Are we offering to help an overloaded family clean the house, or do some yard work? Are we offering our elderly neighbor time to sit and talk? Are we listening to those around us? I daresay, we can be doing better. 

The year 2020 has been a strange year for everyone worldwide. We have endured so much loss, and destruction, pain and hardships. So many people have lost everything they’ve worked hard for. We have lost loved ones, and some have even lost themselves. Now more than ever, we Christians must be shining brightly for all the world to see. Right now, when times are truly tough, we must be shining brightly to show the rest of the world hope. We must be as bright as a full lush, bright moon lighting the nights path. We must be walking close enough to Christ to reflect his light to all who see us. We must be taking the time to give others our time. We must be helping, and lifting up one another, fulfilling the law of Christ by baring one another’s burdens, showing others love. 

If we are willing to sit by and say nothing, sit by and do nothing, how sad that we are letting those around us walk in darkness. It isn’t just walking in darkness, it’s not knowing when we will breathe our last, and yes, that’s a heavy burden, but we have been called to carry a cross, and that in itself is part of our burden. Eternal damnation is nothing to take lightly. Those who refuse to hear Christ, that choose to live in darkness, or even those whom we know don’t know the Lord and never share the good news of the Gospel with, we are complicit. We must take action. Christianity is not a spectator sport. No, far from it! In fact, Christian is about doing, it’s about loving someone enough to spare them from eternal hell. Even if we are simply ignorant, an ambivalence is still egregious when it comes to an eternal soul. Are we praying for our enemies? Are we praying for that neighbor that simply doesn’t like us for just being who we are? Are we sharing a nice smile to the young girl working in Walmart who looks like the weight of the world is on her shoulders? Are we turning a blind eye to the homeless man begging for money on the corner? Are we praying for the lost, the homeless, the hurting, those in harm’s way? 

Let us Christians do better. We can always do better. As Private Dawson said, “Lord, please help me get one more.” Let us find our one, and then another, and another. Let us not grow tired of finding someone to share the love of Christ with. 

And let us have a wonderful, and safe Veterans Day!

Being Saved, Being Surrendered

Being Saved, Being Surrendered

A lot of people walk and isle, and pray a prayer. A lot of people will ask, “are you born again?” and to that the next question, “what does that mean?” It isn’t that the statement born again is lost on me, because it isn’t, the question is, what does it mean to you? I have heard a lot of people say a lot of things in the name of Christ. I have heard a lot of people say they are believers, but the fruit they bear is as rotten as it comes. Now, I’m not judging someone’s heart, no that would be folly. It is not my job, nor am I qualified, for the plank still resides within my own eye, to judge the sins of someone else, or for that matter, the justification within someone’s heart. 

I have often wondered how people look at me. Does someone keep mistakes held against me? Does someone look to me with disgust with that common “that’s a Christian?” glare. While I fully admit, and acknowledge I am a sinner, nay, a broken, fallen sinner, who has to ask for the strength to pick myself up every day, and only by the glory and grace, and mercies of God our Father that I am able to do anything, for it is not I that accomplishes anything, but rather Christ in me. It has taken me a long time to come to the realization that I am truly nothing without Christ. Without the Father’s Spirit in me, I am but an empty decaying shell, doomed to suffer for all eternity in the pit of Hell. But I digress from my original point, what does it mean to be Born Again? What does it mean to be saved? If we are saved, and we have allowed Christ into our hearts, that doesn’t stop us from being sinner, no, in fact, what it does, is creates a gut retching, horrible feeling in the pit of our stomach at the thought, at the mere act of performing cosmic treason, against the sovereign of the universe. In layman’s terms, our conscience goes into overdrive and the acts we once enjoyed in our sin nature, becomes repugnant to our sinful psyche. Scripture tells us that when we accept Christ into our lives we are born anew, a new creation. Scripture goes on to tell us that we Christians are judged by the fruit in which we bare. So, there in lays the question, are you baring good and plentiful fruit in the name of Christ? We should all walk with a cautionary tale, a tale that it is in fact not a tale at all, but as real a warning as we could ever receive. Christ himself said, Matthew 7:22 “Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ Do we bare fruit in so much as we are actually casting out demons in the name of Christ? Walking an isle, going to church, singing in the choir, helping our landlady with her garbage? Even if we are doing these things, what is our motivation for doing such things? Are we doing these things because the fruit of the spirit compels us to do them, or are we doing them for our own rewards, our own accolades? See, the difference between the two is often an addendum to the term being saved, but not just being saved, but being surrendered. We often look at Christ is savior, but we struggle with the Lord part. Many look to Christ as, and it pains me to say this, but it’s the absolute truth, “fire insurance”. It isn’t that simple. If you are looking to Christ as just a way to keep you from the fires of Hell, sadly, and while I’m not expert, but I question if you will actually get the outcome you hope for. 

When we turn to scripture, when we truly dive into it, we start to uncover the mysteries of the Lord, the Abba father who by speaking a word created everything seen and unseen. Every molecule, every star, every atom, every hair on every creature, every embryo, every child conceived, every bit of the cosmos that we can see, and the x number of lightyears of the cosmos we cannot see. God is truly the sovereign of the universe. We must learn to not just read scripture like our favorite fiction novel, but rather, learn to treat scripture like an onion and peel away layer by layer. James 4:7 for instance, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” When we read this, it’s easy to say, ‘sure, I need to submit to God, okay, yeah, I can do that.’ Then when we say, ‘okay, resist the devil,’ sure the Devil is some entity they tell us to scare us. The truth is, we need to read and understand scripture, and to do that we must look deeper then what our eyes can see. When we look at the human form, we see what we call skin, or the epidermis, but when you take the same skin, and look at it under a powerful microscope, the picture is vastly different. So, why then are we so quick to settle on the surface level of scripture? Don’t we want that relationship with God? Don’t we realize that the Bible is our love letter given to us by our Father? Don’t we realize that God has gifted us with a small, almost infinitesimal glimpse of the mystery of the Godhead? The truth is, in 2000 years, we have barely scratched the surface, and in many ways perverted the sanctity of scripture, and yet, for those who truly study, and remove our sinful selves from implanting our own foolish notions, Scripture is so much more than we could ever dream of. When you take the first word in James 4:7 ‘submit’, and you look up the word used in scripture, it’s hypotassō which translated can be subjected to, or to be in subjection of God. We are not just to submit, but to do so mind, body, and soul. We see this in Romans 13:1“Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.” We cannot be content with Christ being our savior, to keep us from Hell, because without the Lord part, the savior part doesn’t matter. We cannot look to Christ as only one half of what He truly was. 

We must not only ask Christ into our hearts, but we must also bend a knee. We must learn to be of complete service to our Lord. We cannot bare fruit if we say the prayer, ‘Jesus I want you in my life, please come into my heart’, and then on Saturday party and act a fool. It isn’t just, ‘oh darn, I sinned again, but it’s okay, God will forgive me.’ I think 1 John 3:4 sums up what that mindset of a license to sin actually looks like, “Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness.” If we truly believe we are saved and yet have a license to sin, we don’t truly understand or accept the nature of what salvation and submitting to the Lord Jesus looks like. We cannot continue sinning as if nothing changes in our life. If we wash away our old selves, put away our old selves and in its place a new creation is born, then we must also put away our old lives, our old ways, and make a true, and honest effort every day to not sin. We are called to be little Christ, and in that, we must feel the weight of our sins. We must feel the cosmic treason of our sins deep in the pits of our stomachs. Sinning in essence should not feel good. We should feel the guilt of our sins, and look upon true repentance, thus forsaking our old selves, and looking forward to tomorrow, allowing the old self to burn away. We should be like the purification of gold, melting and allowing the impurities to be wiped away, only to go back into the fire once more, to push away more of what we are not, to allow the reflection of Christ to shine through us. Only when we do this can we truly go beyond saying we are saved, and surrendering our lives to Christ. Scripture says often that the writer is a bond servant, Romans 1:1, Paul states that he is a slave, “Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God,” but what does this mean? The Greek word is  doulos, and it means to give up ones self, to “devote to another to the disregard of one’s own interests” (blueletterbible.org). This means to be of complete service, a life of servitude to the Lord, thus being fully submissive, not just being saved, but being saved by our saviors sacrifice, and accepting Him, as Lord over all. For we know that in the beginning was the word, and the word was with Him (God) and the word was God. John 1:1. 

There is no future for us if we do not submit ourselves to believe and understand the one truth that Jesus Christ is both Lord and Savior. No one gets to the Father but through Christ. If we are to understand that, then we must accept the Hard Love, and realize our old selves but be burned away, purified, Justified, Sanctified, and we must strive to be more righteous each and every day. This process takes time, and it is not always easy. In fact, truth be told, the process of being Christ like can be downright painful. But, growing is in its nature, a painful process. It’s something that we know the juice is worth the squeeze. We must remind ourselves every day that the world is darkness, and we are to reflect as the moon does, the light of Christ. We make no light of our own, but in the darkness the moon shines and brightens the path. We are to be the moon in this dark world, living in it, but never becoming a part of it. Go forth, and sin no more, go forth and tell all the world, not of a savior, but of a Lord and Savior.

War

War 

War in the streets, the riots rip apart neighborhoods, blood, tears, loss, and hopelessness. While tragedy befalls this once great country, we have most assuredly lost our way. A nation no longer seeking the face of God has grown faint and weary. A nation where wrong is exalted, right is condemned and righteousness has fallen away. This country while seemingly being torn apart, a house divided form the inside, is heart breaking to say the very least. 

Recently I was told I could never understand what it meant to be dark skin in a white world. Perhaps not those words directly, but that was the gist of the conversation. While of course I don’t know what it’s like being a person of dark skin in the United States, I am no stranger to discrimination. Growing up I was discriminated against because of the clothes I wore, and where I came from. I didn’t grow up with money and that was evident by the clothes I wore. My clothes didn’t quite fit, where often second hand, and everyone could tell. When I was beat up, or picked on in school, I dreamt of the day I’d be able to wear a uniform to school so I would no longer be judged by what I wore, but rather who I was. 

As I got older, I would face hardships as a veteran. I was often overlooked for jobs, or promotions because my experience didn’t account for anything. The discrimination I faced when I got out of the military and for several months unable to find work, I felt defeated, broken, depressed, and questioned the very country I spent years sacrificing and fighting for. What was I good for if I couldn’t be a soldier, and I couldn’t support my family, even being passed up on retail jobs. This would eventually lead me to write a paper on the stigmas of PTSD in the workplace, for a college class. The very essence of truth is veterans do face a version of discrimination even within our very country. 

We are a nation divided by color, sex, creed, nationality, masks vs. no masks, cop vs. criminal, virus vs. hoax, liberal vs. conservative, and the list goes on and on. Not only is there a war in our streets, but there’s one going on in our hearts. There’s a war in the streets yes, but when we dig down deep enough, the war is being waged for our hearts. All the hate and discrimination people face are a result of a sin nature running unchecked. The hate we face is the embodiment of sin bubbling to the surface in a nation that has pushed God aside. Much like Sodom & Gomorrah, or even the Israelites getting their party on while Moses was up on the mountain having a confab with God. Sin has become common place not saying it hasn’t always been there, but rather now that we have actively pushed God out of schools, out of government, out of the home, and largely turned our backs on God of course we will see more and more of this type of activities happen in the streets. 

I’m reminded of the song “Reflection” from Mulan. We can no longer hide who we are. Our reflection of who we are inside is now playing out with blood on the streets of our once great nation. The truth is, what’s going on is truly the reflection of who we’ve become. We can no longer hide the ugly within. We can no longer pretend everything’s alright. We can no longer stand here and say everything’s ‘fine’. We are truly ugly to one another. We are rude, hateful, and spiteful towards one another. We fight about everything and have gotten so spiteful that we cannot talk about our differences without blowing up the bridge between us. This chasm that has grown, has done so like a cancer and has infected not only every generation, but we teach hate and misdirection, lies, and we no longer teach respect, and love. Years ago Paul Harvey spoke during a show and his title was called “If I was the Devil”. During this three minute and seventeen second broadcast, which aired sometimes around 1964, it seems prophetic in nature. WE are at war with ourselves, we tranquilize with drugs, we created God. Churches are at war with themselves, nations in kind. Media of course fans the flames. God has been evicted from the courthouse, the schoolhouse, and even the house of congress. Not my words, but the words of Mr. Harvey. “If I were the devil, I would take from those who have and I would give to those who wanted, until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious. We have allowed the Devil to turn our Nation into His playground, and sadly even the burning down of cities is now being downplayed and justified by those who swore oaths of office. 

Recently the show Picard was released and during the show, I was amazed at one very real and shocking revelation, Star Trek was no longer pure in its depiction of a future, but rather a darker turn mirroring the current climate. The word staring with ‘F’ was dropped multiple times during the show. A major disappointment to say the very least. A show once adored by children, now using language that perhaps is spoken in front of children, but I daresay is wildly inappropriate. 

While it seems our current state of affairs is hopeless let me be the first, or perhaps somewhere in the slew of people saying, there is always hope. First, let me start off by saying it’s never too late to except Christ into your heart and allow Him to heal you. It’s never too late to walk away from the world, and become an ambassador for the Loving Prince of Peace. Jesus Christ showed us that we are not saved by our deeds, but merely the sacrifice of his blood, the truest gift of sacrifice for our very souls. We are given everything though we deserve nothing. Left to our own devises we see how we behave. 

The hope we have is in Christ, not our leaders in Washington. We must learn to put our faith in the Heavenly and not the worldly. We cannot stand here and think the President will make things better, or blame police, or the criminal, or the color of someone’s skin. Instead we must look beyond the symptom and realize the cause. Sin is the root of our nations plights, and it’s because we’ve let it take hold. We have stood by and allowed sin behavior to become commonplace. We have allowed the cancer to grow out of control. We grew faint and complacent, and now War is in our front yard, our back yard, and in our very homes. 

If we have any chance of gaining ground we must turn back to the Lord. We must find rest for our weary souls. 

Isaiah 40:30-31

“Even the youths shall faint and be weary,

And the young men shall utterly fall,

31 But those who wait on the Lord

Shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.”

Galatians 6:9 New King James Version

9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”  

If we are serious about retaking our country, retaking our lives, we must start with the man/woman in the mirror. We must first look into our own hearts. We must first realize we are in fact sinners and each of us are in part, part of the problem. We must realize that if we are to make a difference, we must be different. We must look and act differently. We are going to battle and we must prepare. We must allow God to forge our hearts, change our minds, heal our hurts, mend old wounds, and fix bridges we’ve long burned. We must forge our spirit and rekindle our fire for the Lord. 

Psalm 144:1 

“Blessed be the Lord my Rock,

Who trains my hands for war,

And my fingers for battle” 

We are called to be Christians, holding our witness, and in the fire let us be forged stronger, let us strap on the full Armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) and let us run with endurance. 

Hebr3ews 12:1 “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,” 

We cannot fall to this world. We cannot allow sin to defeat us. We cannot allow the shadow to overwhelm us. We must show limitless love, the true meaning of love, the true Agape’ love we see in scripture. We must look different in everything we do. We must continue to fight the good fight till we draw our last breath. Show love to snuff out racism, bigotry, discrimination, and hate. We can do better, by being better. Put a little love in your heart, and let it shine brightly to all you encounter. Be kind, be courteous, be generous, be giving, and never grow weary of doing good. 

Paul Harvey “If I were the Devil” 

What Flows In Our Veins

What Flows In Our Veins

I suppose this is a question everyone faces at some point, or they don’t, I don’t really know; What flows through my veins. For a long time, I have wondered, questioned, pined for a place in this world. For years I hoped for a way to be remembered, but have found it isn’t about me. I am literally no one. I am a nobody without Christ. My works here in this life don’t matter if they aren’t for the Glory of God. My works mean nothing without the acknowledgment of the salvation I am graced with if it weren’t for the Blood of Jesus. When my wife left, I went to a dark place, and I fell to the darkest of pits I didn’t know existed. With the light of God, I crawled my way out, but a fall like that doesn’t happen without leaving its mark. I would be left with scars both physical and emotional. I would be faced with a new path, and with that new path, a purpose left in question. I have talked often about being the clay and allowing God to mold you. (Be God’s Lego & Be God’s Lego 2). I have spoken often about finding your ministry, and allowing your spiritual gifts to guide you to where you are supposed to be. It’s funny though that tonight, tonight I would find myself seeking answers as my path has become so clouded, I no longer have a direction. At the very lowest point, the very foundation, I know that my purpose is to serve God no matter what I end up doing, but as far as what that is I have no idea. Long term, I have my dreams, my instincts on purpose, but in the here and now, the more immediate path, I feel as if I’m floundering in the open water on a stormy night, not sure what way to swim. 

I am trying to find what seems like a temporary Job, trying to be proactive, but in itself seems to be more of a struggle then I ever thought it would be. Someone asked me what I’m looking for, and to be honest I have no idea. I’m finding that my degree is relatively worthless in the short term. I’m finding that I have neither the skill or mastery to narrow down a path. I have years and years of security service, but as far as my passion goes, I have little to none to remain in the security field. I have some medical training and a desire to be helpful, but not enough to mean anything in the short term. I have a passion and a knowledge of the outdoors such as hiking, camping, etc, but while it’s enough to survive and get through, it’s not a mastery. And sadly, outdoors survival skills, mostly military and personal experience, doesn’t offer much opportunity for a job, especially in this day and time. I have a passion to help veterans, but as I am no longer a chaplain the opportunities are minimal. To be a crisis counselor it requires a master’s degree or higher, and sadly my area is not a big area of opportunities for that kind of work with veterans. I worked in retail for a few years, but it would not be recommended any longer due to physical limitations. So, where does that leave me? The truth is I don’t know. I have no mastery, or a specific set of skills or talent that leads me anywhere in specific. Now is not the time to build a photography business, and while I love teaching and preaching, that path has not yet been laid out before me. And, as with many things, that’s a long-term path, not a short term. While I have even looked at teaching first aid and CPR, the training for that takes one, money, and two, time, time I don’t have. So, I have come back to a single question, “God, what would you have me do?” 

I think we all get to these points, these questions in our lives. In the last several weeks since the onset of the Covid-19 Pandemic, I have seen hardships, heartbreaks, blood, sweat and tears, and realized that while my path is cloudy, I am still immensely blessed. While we all have hardships, and struggles, everyone has something they are going through and working out. I have seen and endured far more than I’m going through now, but that does not detract from its difficulty. I shall then, put my trust in God to show me the path when it’s time. I know that perhaps there are other reasons I am not being shown the way just yet. There are infinite possibilities that I cannot ignore, and trust that when all the pieces are where they need to be, I will be placed where I need to go. I will keep in mind Gods ways are not my ways, they are beyond my understanding and comprehension, and I must trust, and lean not unto my own understanding. I must have faith and be content with where I am, and trust that tomorrow is a new day, and anything can change between now and then. I must trust and have faith, and in constant prayer, turn to the Lord my God to deliver me from the spiritual attacks of the Devil, and believe that I will rest tonight being covered under the protection of Angel’s wings. I trust that my hands are prepared for war, and when the time comes I shall battle the enemy and be ready for what may come. I know that I am forged in fire, tempered and treated for the days ahead. I know that everything I am not is melted away, smelted like gold. I know that my salvation is secured by the Blood of Christ which was a debt paid for me, ransomed for my very soul. I know I am redeemed by the blood, and this life is but a temporary speck in the new glorified body that awaits me. I know one day I will kneel at the foot of the judgment seat, and answer for everything I have done, said, thought, and felt, and I will have no excuse but to ask for forgiveness in the eyes of my King. I am not worthy of such love, or grace, or mercy, but given to me freely, in which my sins are washed away, upon my repentance and plea for forgiveness. I know that hardship comes in this diseased, fallen, sinful world, in which awful things befall all who live here. This world knows death for this world is not Glory, but the proving ground for what’s to come. I do not know my place in this world, but I know my place with God. I do not know my gift in this world, but I know the gift that saved the world. Today will pass into memory, and perhaps tomorrow, and the next, but a day will come when the path is made clear, and the answers shall be revealed. Till that day comes, I find myself in prayer, and wonder, questioning, and praying, telling God what rests upon my heart. Perhaps a letter just to express myself, a few words on a white computer screen, just to make sense of what’s in my own head. Alas, I know I am a child of the one true King, the only way to the father Jesus Christ, the narrow path that only a few will travel, I will buckle my straps, tighten my breastplate, sharpen my sword, dig in my sandals, and prepare for the war to come. I shall fear no evil for the Lord is with me, and no matter where I roam, I am never alone.