Tag: jesus

Throat punched

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Throat punched
So as I sit here with my neck in a brace, when I talk not only do I sound it, I feel like I’ve been throat punched. Yes that’s what happens when you have surgery. But let me tell you. I couldn’t be more lucky. Gods grace and perfect timing all the time. 
There were complications in surgery. My disc ruptured and fluid went into my spinal column. They cleaned it up but I needed to be closely watched. There may have been some hematoma around my incision. 
Thankfully the rupture was found and didn’t do permanent damage. In all the CT’s, the risky MRI (because of shrapnel in my lung) not one of these scans showed the disk had ruptured. As I’m not a doctor I cannot obviously speak clearly of the dangers of that fluid where it doesn’t belong. But I do know it’s BAD! 
Because Gods perfect in His timing and love everything went well even with the complications. Even the new raspier voice I have just plays into effect when I wear the mask. All things considered I’m pretty darn happy. 
Yesterday I couldn’t squeeze my ball and now I can squeeze it with all my might and it’s beautiful. I can walk with my head held high and arms swinging. Gods touched my body through the hands of my surgeons and have given me my life back. I may have some troubles the rest of my life but for now, it seems all of that is within acceptable limits. 
Believe in the power of prayer and love. From the prayer shawl I received from my church, the love of my Associate Pastor, my mom, and everyone near and far that prayed for me before during and after my surgery. All this prayer I have felt the reward. I know I live on to fight the Devil for another day. 
For you all wary souls like my one was, take heart knowing the Lord of all the wonders of this world is with you, right there suffering your sufferings. Believe and know the faithful, the just, the kind, will be rewarded. We may not always say or do the right things to one another but we must know it and apologize for it. Own up to our mistakes and ask for the forgiveness we should. 
Stay connected to God and be blessed by his touch. God bless all of you! 

Glory

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Glory 
My heart is torn, it’s broken and battered. I try and fight I try to stand tall and continue fighting but days like today when I feel I can’t take anymore, a reminder of Gods plan and how it can shape our future in an instant reminded me that nothing in the future is set till it happens. 
Faith in the Lord above isn’t always easy. In times we are at our lowest the moment of truth often comes quick and when we least expect it. Do we choose the path of God, trust in him even when we can’t see path. We must learn to trust in the Lord even when that path seems full of dangerous vipers, scorpions, pitfalls, and other dangerous traps. Faith in God isn’t for the easygoing, it can be tough even for the most devout. But keep fighting the fight because Glory last forever. 

The Improvised

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The improvised 
Sitting here in the ER alone as I’ve sent mom home to rest, gather supplies, and get ready for the long day, I find myself pondering what I guess most people ponder when looking at a life altering surgery. Who are my loved ones, who cares who doesn’t? Is my Will complete and dang did I leave the stove on? I am reminded of so many one liners but I’ll spare all of you the boring repartee and just know that I haven’t forgotten about my avid readers. I may be out for the day, but as long as I have a phone I’ll still work my guru magic and post something. 
While I was here I was able to doodle a little something and while it’s not finished because as you’ll all see I’m no artist, I haven’t lost sight of my goal. I will continue to work on my ministries and with Gods grace continue to touch lives. So as I get ready for what looks so far to be surgery, back surgery it is. While the surgeons are deliberating and I’m going on almost 24 hours awake, I’m reminded of some bible verses. 
1 Peter 1:6-7 “6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: 7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:”
Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.”
We may have setback and we may have plans that go off the rails but even in the darkest of days the brightest of flowers may still bloom. 

Starting the day, Ending the day 

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Starting the day, Ending the day 

You wake up one morning and the day starts off all wrong. Murphy’s law kicks in and everything that can go wrong does? Perhaps that’s an exaggeration but I know you get the picture. So a little while ago one night I only got a few hours of sleep before I had to get up and head to work. I knew I didn’t feel well and before I got to work on my hour drive my stomach started to do summersaults. When I got to work I realized I didn’t have my badge to get myself in. Upset stomach and at least 40 minutes before I could get into the building I was miserable. I felt awful. I could start feeling beads of sweat on my forehead. I honestly felt like I was going to pass out, and I started feeling sick to my stomach. Thankfully all that eventually worked out and I started to feel better. But, of course the day I feel awful is the day that everything’s going on. Several meetings, a complaint, packages, and all the while I just want to return to my bed.

The day continued on, and I received a phone call from an unexpected source. I hesitated to decide what to do with it. Eventually I reached out to the caller. That’s when my entire day started to change. The air changed, and I had no idea how much my life would change by the end. When I got home I knew I needed to work out a problem so I called each one of my credit cards and asked for a $200 increase to cover an unexpected bill that came up. Sadly, each of them declined the increase. Over the last year the battle for a medical bill with the VA, and other unfortunate financial situations may have damaged my credit a great deal. Finances and biblical teaching on them is another blog for another time. I had no idea what I was going to do, or how I was going to pay that bill, and I needed to figure it out in less then an hour.

I went to dinner and my guest actually picked up the tab. Dinner was my idea, but they were very gracious to pay for it. We talked and as the conversation continued to grow, I could feel the work ahead to that particular relationship was going to be both heartbreaking and rewarding at the same time. Either way, talking was a positive direction I couldn’t do anything else but praise God. The day would continue to have a few positive surprises. The unexpected bill was only half of what originally thought so the extra coverage on the credit card wasn’t actually needed. The conversation continued for a while and it seemed positive albeit full of pain, it was still better then not at all.

By the end of the day I felt as if a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. The future was still unclear as ever, but it was clear that God was working in my life, and allowing things to happen that would set a new path. We must continue to have faith in what we can’t see and understand that our path is never set in stone. One thing I’ve learned though is no matter how long the storm last no matter how long it rains, no matter how wet we are, God’s right there beside us looking up to the storm clouds. I recently heard a song for the first time by Casting Crowns; Praise you in this storm

 I was sure by now, God you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away,
Stepped in and saved the day.

 I was sure by now, God you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away,
Stepped in and saved the day.

 I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone how can I carry on
If I can’t find you

 No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm

 This is only small cut of that song, but you can see how powerful the lyrics are. I have often felt like the cloud was following me day-to-day, month-to-month, but even as the storm rages on around me and in my heart, God’s always there with us. Isaiah 43:2 “2 When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.” The faith to truly walk with the Lord and cast our fears and doubts aside is not an easy road and it’s one few will walk. To truly trust in the lord to see us through, to give up the fear and doubt and disbelief is something most will never manage to achieve. The truth is though a God that created the heavens and the earth, a God that created such a perfect creation, that same God that can cast down plagues, can also provide great comfort and ease the suffering of the sick. Psalm 91:1-6 “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. 3 Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. 4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. 5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day; 6 Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.” In our battles we will be protected by God’s shield, the Angels Wings, we shall have light in the night to scare away the things that creep in the dark. We will have the protection we need because that protection is promised to the faithful. We will undergo tribulations, but in those trials the protection of the lord can give up to the hopeless, give peace to the restless.

In all things God is in the trenches with us. In those time where we just barely escape unharmed, or we realize a situation could have been worse, or we start to see the blessings, the beautiful things that remain even in the most dismal of situations, we see signs everywhere we look that God is still with us. The Apostle Peter was imprisoned and one night an Angel visited him in the cell and placed him in a trance. The Angel had Peter follow as each gate was opened and each guard was removed from the path to have a clear exit from the prison. Acts 12:5-17

We may not get the Angel treatment every day, but I’m sure everyone myself included has felt the presence of one before.

September 12th 2004 the mission started bright and early. The convoy departed and as my Humvee was second in line it was game time. The plan went off the rails less then 10 minutes into it. The IED (Improvised Explosive Device) would be sure to change that. Without going into the whole story the important part was when the bullet first hit my door and both hands flung to the steering wheel the calm that came over me, the peace, the reassurance that things were going to be fine was undeniable. The RPG’s fired; the countless IED’s the sheer number of insurgents guiding us through an elaborate ambush none of them would make a solid hit to do enough damage to stop either of the two Humvee’s involved. The wings of an Angel were protecting us, the hands of the Angel was guiding my hands to keep up and go where I needed to, to avoid being struck by a direct impact from an RPG, take too much damage from bullets, or even a devastating IED to stop the truck. We took a great deal of damage, no fluids where left in the engine except gas, 3 of 4 tires were blown out by bullets and RPG shrapnel, power steering was gone, but despite all the bullets to the engine we still kept running, right up till my foot came off the gas after we reached safety. As soon as we were towed into the base and we were able to get out of the Humvee the realization of what just happened hit me. I felt like Peter during the jailbreak, in a daze, not fully away, but aware of what was going on around me. I was calm, at peace, confident in my actions. Facing over 100 insurgents and taking that much damage the odds were not in our favor, yet we managed to overcome them anyway, and made it out alive.

I love movies where the odds are so bad, so unrealistic that even the main characters things their chances are bad, but reading scripture and seeing how often the odds weren’t in the victors favor yet God was with them I realize that Odds are just that Odds, that’s not a sure thing, and it doesn’t predict the outcome. We will never be able to know for sure how our day will go after it starts. Even in the most trying of times and the worst of days, it only takes an instant to turn all that around. God has a plan, God’s working on the plan even when we can’t or don’t see it. The faith we need to get through our day is that of trust in what we can’t see. Hebrews 11:6 “But without faith [it is] impossible to please [him]: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and [that] he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” No matter what our day looks like we must trust that in the right time the faithful shall be rewarded. Luke 1:37 “For with God nothing shall be impossible.” It’s in that time we must understand that we don’t’ have to understand. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” Praise God for answered and unanswered prayers. We must have faith in and out of the storms. We must understand that the puzzle isn’t complete and we see only a piece at a time. The future can be so much more then we can ever imagine if we trust that our future will be what God wants it to be if we trust in Him.

 

 

 

 

 

Love Unconditional

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Love Unconditional

I’ve been putting a lot of thought into the word love. What does it mean to love something? When we think of love we think of our parents, siblings, closest friends, but we also think of our favorite show, our favorite food, our favorite pass time activity. The truth is in our society today the word just gets tossed around flippantly. The truth is, I think love is something that when we loose the object of our affection it breaks us apart inside. When we are dating in school we often throw the word around love and sure I don’t want to downplay those emotions, but the proof is in the pudding, often times that’s just puppy love and something we get over pretty quick once it’s gone. True love however is something a little more difficult to come by. The Bible has a pretty air tight description of love, and when we look at our lives, and we compare it to this, the comparisons are often going to leave you realizing, maybe it’s not love after all. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.” Now I know what you’re thinking, yes I am talking about love, and yes so is 1 Corinthians. “Charity is the epitome of perfection in the Christian life. It is the “greatest” of the three abiding virtues” (http://www.learnthebible.org/charity-or-love.html) If we look at the definition of love, and compare it to what we say to others, are we actually in line with scripture, or just a word we use because we don’t know anything better to say?

Lets make it easier to understand a little. When you look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” How often in our own lives do we drudge up mistakes our partner made 2 years ago? How often do we hold a grudge, and for how long? How often do we love but only so long as we are worldly happy? There is so much in our lives today that draw us away from love. So much today that we don’t understand, but if we go to Scripture, if we study, we can finally unravel the strongest of lies, and the strongest of truths. John 15:13 “13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Jesus, Jesus laid down His perfect life as a perfect blemish less, sinless man that chose to be tortured, ridiculed, and murdered for us, for every single last one of us that in no way by our daily actions deserve such grace and mercy. The truth is, that’s LOVE. When we think about that kind of love, makes what we say about love look silly. How often do we see now in our world today divorce is a cancer on our society, and it runs unchecked destroying homes left and right. We see marriage as expendable, as an option that so long it benefits me, so long as I am getting something out of it, I’ll stay married. THE QUESTION I ASK TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU, WHAT ARE YOU GIVING IN YOUR MARRIAGE? If we look a little deeper we see what the definition of love is, we see what is says in John, but what about husbands and wives? Ephesians 5:25 “25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,” Yes that means you are supposed to love your wives so much that you sacrifice unconditionally to her. You sacrifice yourself to give her everything she needs. Note I said need, not want. The difference between need and want is an entirely separate blog.

Husbands, need to sacrifice worldly things, worldly desires, worldly distractions for his wife. Ephesians 5:22-24 “22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Many people look at this section of scripture and scoff, and I really question why that is. I get the feminist movement, and women can do anything a man can do and all that stuff, and that’s great, but the truth is, women and men aren’t the same. We are wired differently in the brains, we have different strengths and weaknesses, and this isn’t talking about slavery this is talking about letting go of ones worldly self. Letting go of the fleshy desires, and allowing yourself to be completely taken in by your husband. As the husband loves the wife as he died for us, so shall the husband die for his wife. Think about this, when we get married, we often think of it as the old ball in chain, the tying of the knot, the end or death of an era. Well, in some parts yes, that’s exactly what it is. But if we look at death as a bad thing, a negative thing, sure we will be going into that marriage under negative premise and then that’s where the problems start to set in. Death is a glorious thing, a wonderful thing, because as a Christian we believe that death of us is the gateway to an eternal life of perfection and love. If we are to truly love our wives, love our husbands we must allow the old part of us to die off. Think of love and marriage like a butterfly. The caterpillar is you before you get married. The marriage is the cocoon. When you emerge married that fuzzy old caterpillar is gone, fundamentally changed into a beautiful creature no longer bound to crawl around, but to soar, to fly, to be a wonder of nature.

How wonderful it would be if we actually saw marriage that way. How wonderful it would be if we as a people were able to see ourselves and combining our selves into one body and actually selflessly giving up our selves and wanting only to please our partner. To those who are struggling in your marriages, I offer this, in all things God can heal, and with work, and saying it a hundred times, a thousand times, I forgive you, forgive the wrongs your partner has done. Remember the way you felt the day you got married and realize if both of you, if both the Husband and the Wife learn to forgive, learn to accept, learn to change because marriage is a fundamental change. You are no longer you, you become y’all. When we loose sight of the togetherness, the us in the marriage and we start to focus on the me, start to focus on the what does Arrow Preacher want, we loose sight of the (what) can I do for my spouse? What can I do to bring happiness to my beloved today? Human greed is one of the strongest sins to pull us back into the world, but two are stronger then one. Pouring of sand of two different colors into a jar that sand can never be completely separated. There’s reason sand if often used in marriage ceremonies. It’s a constant visual reminder that once together, you shall never break apart, bonded into one entity, one jar, and as rope is stronger when woven together, so shall you be stronger when you come to realize the true definition of love, the true understanding of what Scripture is talking about, and let go of your worldly sins, those desires that draw you away from your spouse. The Devil wants to break up marriage because he’s been doing it since the beginning. Marriage was the plan, for man to not be alone, and he knows that separated the divide and concur makes for an easier target. Don’t take the bait. Don’t allow Satan to ruin your union. Fight back, and fight for each other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Regret

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Regret

In our lives we make decisions that in hindsight weren’t so good. We also make great decisions that can change our lives forever. It’s the one moment where life has fallen apart around you, the moment you can’t see the next breath you take, you can’t take a single step forward, life has stopped and the world looks like it’s moving around you at near light speed. The moment when all hope is lost, and the decision you make seems like the right one, but what if there was a way to move that step forward, what if I told you there was hope, and there is a next breath, would that change your mind for the next catastrophe in your life?

For many veterans and civilians who’ve gone through trauma getting stuck in that moment is all too common. When we get stuck we go through our days only a shell of who we used to be. We eat, we work, we sleep, we may even contribute to the life around us, but we aren’t really there. The sludge of the weight of what we carry builds as we trek through the mud farther and farther. There will come a point when you have the black tar from your shoes up to your neck. At some point you won’t be able to move forward anymore. No matter what our event is, whether it’s the death of a loved one, the loss of a spouse, sexual assault, horrific car accident, fire, or even just a series of events that you have entered that hurts those around you. We often push away people we love because we don’t want them to see us in pain, we don’t want them to see us suffering. We push away to defend ourselves, and them, from potential damage. We don’t want to drag anyone down with us, and sometimes it’s because we just can’t see beyond our own pain.

Being pushed away by someone who’s going through a lot of pain is hard. Knowing you want to help, and feeling powerless is perhaps the most difficult position to ever be in. Seeing someone you care about in pain, seeing them walk down a dark path, and when all you want to do is take their pain away and shower them in love, yet you’re held away, and pushed and kicked out of their life, is heart breaking.

For each of our mistakes we see the other side of other peoples. When we know they are making a mistake all we can do is pray for them. All we can do is hope that one day they will turn around from the path they’re on and hopefully do so before anything to bad happens they can’t come back from. For me I gravitated to the song One Step Away by Casting Crowns:

 What if you could go back and relive one day of your life all over again
And unmake the mistake that left you a million miles away
From the you, you once knew
Now yesterday’s shame keeps saying that you’ll never get back on track
But what if I told you

You’re one step away from surrender
One step away from coming home, coming home
One step from arms wide open
His love has never let you go
You’re not alone
You’re one step away

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve gone
Mercy says you don’t have to keep running down the road you’re on
Love’s never met a lost cause
Your shame, lay it down
Leave your ghosts in the past ‘cause you know that you can’t go back
But you can turn around
You’ve never been more than

 We aren’t ever alone. This message goes out to my veteran brothers and sisters, we aren’t ever alone. We sit at home, we have the open bottle of beer or booze, and we seclude ourselves in the dark, thoughts screaming in our head. We can’t seem to get out of the way. This, is, torture. When we trained for war we trained as a team. When we get home we see that no one is there for us, no one understands, how could anyone, they weren’t there. The thing is, that’s all an elaborate lie by the Devil to separate us from the world, and break us down. It’s not true. There are plenty of other veterans out there struggling with their own replay of war. Something else I’ve learned is trauma is trauma no matter what kind. Sexual assault, loss of loved ones, fire, car accidents, none of that is exclusive to military. Sure firefights may be a bit more segregated, but that doesn’t mean people aren’t there for you. We have support groups, veterans groups, outreach programs, and so much more to help get us all back to a good healthy place.

We all have our regrets in life but one of the biggest battles we will ever face is facing those mistakes. Allowing ourselves to heal from them on the inside by forgiving ourselves, asking others to forgive us and showing true repentance for those mistakes. Philippians 3:13 “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but [this] one thing [I do], forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,” We must go forth to God and ask for forgiveness, but we also need to make it right, we need to attempt to right our wrongs. 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” One thing that I am reminded of is how easy it is to get off track. How often do we do a wrong based on how someone else wrongs us? We as Christians should hold ourselves to a higher standard, and not fall into the world expectations. We cannot allow the world to dictate how we react, or how we treat others. We mustn’t let the world tell us the lies we often feel when dealing with life’s tragedies. Isaiah 43:18-19 “18 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. 19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, [and] rivers in the desert.” We cannot know what our tomorrow brings, and we cannot know what surprises will be waiting for us just around the next bend in the road.

In all things in our life we should move forward with kindness in our hearts, forgiveness isn’t something to be earned, it’s something to be given freely. We can’t hold our forgiveness hostage like some kind of ransom is required to give it. If we are to live like Christ we must learn that people are sinful, people hurt others, we hurt them, and forgiveness isn’t always rebuilding the relationship if it’s lost. Christ forgave humanity for our sins despite the awful things we as a collective whole did to Him. We were not only forgiven for past and current sins, but future sins we might face in the future. 2 Corinthians 7:10 “10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.” When Judas betrayed Christ he could not get past his own grief and he took his own life by hanging. This is worldly sorrow. There is not repentance to be had, and no chance of redemption. We all Sin, we have make mistakes big and small. Even David a man of God’s own heart was not free from them. David was well known to be a fair man as a King, but he was a horrible husband and father. Psalm 51:1- 3 “51 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.”

 No matter how far we’ve fallen, there is always a way back. Even when it’s adulatory or other forms of betrayal. Proverbs 6:32-34 “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away. For jealousy makes a man furious, and he will not spare when he takes revenge.” A man shall not take revenge for himself, for revenge is not bringing harmony. Justice is for the Lord. Forgiveness is for man, asking for it, and giving it freely. Do not allow your life to come to the end and regret a multitude of things. Make right your wrongs, make right the harm you’ve cause, the pain you’ve inflicted. Seek forgiveness in others, beg for forgiveness of the Lord. Let go of your own pain, and do not carry that weight with you. If you continue to carry a weight like that around you cannot continue to God’s work when you have so much on your shoulders already. Allow God’s grace to fill you, let yourself see through God’s eyes, let yourself feel with God’s heart, and learn to let go of judgments, let go of your own sorrow. Do not allow yourself to be weighed down any longer.

We all have things in our life we wish we could take back, things we could change. We can’t ever retrieve something we’ve let slip from out mouths, undo an action, but we can attempt to make right what we’ve done. Don’t wait for tomorrow, start healing today. Let the weight of the world fall from your shoulders, and find a new way, a better way, a Godly way of dealing with life, and facing the trials ahead of you. Our way is never the way even if it’s easier sometimes the easy way isn’t the right way, sometimes the right way is the path less traveled. It’s our job as Christians to figure out the path God wants us to be on. When we don’t know the path to take we must turn to the scripture and pray about our path. Proverbs 18:13 “13 He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” Don’t make a decision without knowing as much of the facts as possible so be sure to not make foolish decisions. Don’t allow yourself to be fooled by fake or false information. Proverbs 18:15 “15 The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge.” When you think you know something, don’t be quick to pass judgement without gaining other perspectives and complete the story. Don’t take a story as true just on face value. Proverbs 18:15 “15 The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge.”

Knowing what to expect when problems comes up is one thing. Knowing how to respond is the second side of that coin. We must know that in our lives we will face problems, we will face trials, and in all of those trials we know that we must accept and rejoice in those times. James 1:2-4 “2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; 3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” If anyone out there is like me the WHY ME question comes up sometimes. We know that patience is something we all need more of, and in our trials we are often tasked with growing in our faith, draw closer to God and growing in patience. IF we learn how to respond to issues, we could very well have fewer regrets in our life. John 16:33“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” When standing on the beach of the ocean we do not stand with our backs to the waves (generally) because when the big one hits us we get knocked own. Instead we face the wave head on, and we brace for it. Knowing what Christ expects of us on how to handle our troubles, knowing how to handle heartbreak, and betrayals, we can minimize the damage and we can help prevent us from getting into as much trouble.

We won’t always make all the right choices all the time, we won’t always handle every situation the best we can, we are human, we are driven by sin nature, and thus we will undoubtedly make mistakes. It’s in those mistakes however we know how to seek forgiveness, and seek repentance when they do occur. It’s in those mistakes, those hardships that our true character is placed on display. We find out more about ourselves through our trials then when things are always a batch of roses. Just remember that even the prettiest of roses have thorns. Seek God for the answers to your troubles, and seek God to the direction of your path. You may not be able to get rid of regret, but you can minimize its impact.

 

 

Cut Away What’s Dead

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Cut Away What’s Dead

When you prune a plant often times you need to cut away the dead leaves or limbs because the stuff that’s dying is pulling needed nutrition from the healthy parts of the plan. “When a forest grows too wild, a purging fire is inevitable and natural.” Ra’s Al Gul The purging fires in nature are needed from time to time to cut away what’s dead and give birth to new and green.

In our lives we know people who come and go, we have people who may only be in our lives for a short while before it’s time to cut them loose. Some people in your life become toxic and it’s tough to let go of those whom you Love, even when the people you love may be bad news. James 1:8 “8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” Sometimes when we know someone the most, or even love, they may actually be, eventually, the person that needs to be cut away. Sometimes cutting away someone we love may feel like cutting off one of our own limbs. This however again, is sometimes what’s most needed in our lives.

In my own life I have held on because of fear and struggles to release those in my life that I with all of my heart loved. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they are good for you. As I have fought the fight to keep up relations as possible I have come to realize that in my efforts to preserve what I was holding onto, I have infested myself with considerable heartbreak and more pain and more suffering day in and day out. I have become a glutton for punishment as I have continued to try and see the good in people, but as I’ve done this my whole life I have come to realize now I cannot do this to myself any longer.

There are a few ways I believe we can cut things from our lives that do us harm.

 

  1. Leaving the door open as an option, but keeping distance and only allowing the door option as a last resort. There must be significant change and we don’t want to write someone off because God can fix anything, but we can’t just open the door blindly. We must look through the small peephole before opening that door to make sure who we are letting inside our home. Keeping your distance must be done. This means no calls, no texts, no emails, no Facebook stalking, no gathering Intel through friends or family. You must truly remove yourself from the equation and allow yourself to be free of the poison that ails you.
  2. Choose God before bad. Matthew 7:15 “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.” When we continue to allow those wolves to infiltrate our lives, dictate terms within our lives, we must ask ourselves what happens when we are in the war with wolves. One thing I hadn’t thought about until now is distraction. When we listen to God we are often placed in the right place when we need to be at the right time. However, if we are focused on the wolves, if we are focused on things that bring us pain and suffering, we cannot hear God, we cannot see the path when our own tears blind us.
  3. Fight the fight and bring into the fold. We must always remember that grace is not for us to give alone. We must always remember to forgive freely; forgiveness isn’t something to be earned. Love isn’t something that is lost because we don’t stop just because they become an enemy. Luke 10:3 “Go your ways: behold, I send you forth as lambs among wolves.” We know that as we spend time with the wolves we may get bit from time to time. This would be an occupational hazard. This doesn’t stop you from the mission. Everyone has the potential to redemption, and our mission is to continue to spread the Gospel no matter how good, or bad we see someone as. It’s not our place to pass judgment, it’s our job to keep everyone on the same platform and let God pass the judgment.

 

Everyone deserves the chance and the right to change. Everyone deserves the right to make up for past wrongs. This however doesn’t need to be given freely. Just because someone is deserved the right to change, doesn’t mean that trust has to be given blindly, and doesn’t mean people don’t have to earn the trust we give them. We may have to work for it ourselves sometimes, but nothing worth having in life comes without something in return. Our freedom comes at a price. Jesus died for the sins of all the people of the earth, but we have to burn away our old selves and we have to fight back against the sinful nature. This can sometimes be hard, but as nothing in this world worth while is easy, the challenge is to let go of worldly desires, let go of what weighs us down and blinds us from God’s plan for us.

Release the weights that hold you down. Do not allow yourself to be pulled under the water by the dead weight. Do not allow yourself be choked by the weeds growing up around you. Every now and again purging fire must happen. Never easy for us to let go of things we care about, possibly the hardest thing we may ever do in our lives. Eyes wide open to God, and don’t loose sight of the forest through the trees.

 

 

 

 

How Do We Mend A Broken Heart? 

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How Do We Mend A Broken Heart? 

After 9 months of trying deeply to let go of the pain inside it has a habit of coming back strong and stronger. The feeling inside my chest, the emptiness that resides like a sledgehammer pounding on my chest and insides day in and day out. It never relents and as each day begins with a breath, the empty bed, the darkness, the quiet room all breaks my heart over and over.

The simple truth is I don’t know how to mend a broken heart. I’ve never been very good at it. What I can say is don’t do what I’ve done. With any pain there’s a time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to cry, and a time to soar. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.” For every amount of pain, every instances of joy, of pain and sorrow, of worry, of concern, of peace and war, there is a time for it all. I was recently talking with someone who’s marriage has fallen apart and she said so many people are there surrounding her all the time she wishes she had some alone time. Whilst me, I’m alone at work, I’m alone at home, and nearly every day it’s the same. There is a healthy balance in the grieving stage when you must get out of the house, you must spend time with people, but you also need to be able to sit back and reflect.

When we are heavy laden we must learn to turn to God and allow God into our hearts to lift us up. Psalms 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Also, Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Giving your sorrows to the Lord is something that comes with practice, but it’s not a magic wand, it won’t make you feel better that second. Loosing a loved one is always difficult and it doesn’t matter if they die or walk away. Truthfully the only true way to heal from heartbreak is to let time move on, distract yourself often, surround yourself by people who will help lift you up, and get out get out get out of the house. You cannot sit in the house surrounded by memories and expect to feel better.

God Gave Me You,

I’ve been a walking heartache

I’ve made a mess of me

The person that I’ve been lately

Ain’t who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me

Watch as the storm goes through

And I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs

God gave me you for the days of doubt

For when I think I’ve lost my way

There are no words here left to say, it’s true

God gave me you

 The truth behind this is Jesus. Jesus is here for us in the ups and downs. Jesus is here for us when we loose our way, but Jesus the everything in the world we’ve ever needed, even when we don’t know what we need. Jesus is our sword, our sword of vengeance, and our shield of protection. The morrow will come and when it does the world will continue to turn. Our pain will still be here, but will you get up with me and put on our big boy and big girl pants and continue to fight through the pain? Day in and day out no matter the trials we face we must continue to push through. We will never be the same again after this, but we need to learn to do one thing. We must, MUST learn to not give away the power over our happiness. We must learn to hold onto that for us and us alone. We cannot allow someone to break us like this over and over again. We must love everyone, we must love ourselves, but knowing that Christ is with us is the only power we should be giving away. Trusting in the Lord is a given, but trusting someone else with the button to control our foundation is a fatal mistake.

We know that there will never be a day promised without pain except the day after we breathe our last. The day we awake in Heaven is the day we will be without sorrow, without pain, without suffering. Revelation 21:4 “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” Until the day comes when the world is wiped away, or we are called home, pain is apart of our life, apart of our journey. Somehow, we must learn to embrace it, and use it to get us through our problems, one step at a time. No matter what book you read, what blog you’ll read, or any advice you’ll ever hear, the answers for recovery is not simple, nor can anyone help you through every part of your journey. And since there is no right answer to a quick fix, no straightforward course of action to make the pain go away all we can do is pray to God to help us on our journey, help us with the direction we must go. We must turn to Christ during our times of need because it’s in those times of need when we can be assured God is with us always.

 

 

200th Post : LET FREEDOM RING (HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY)

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200th LET FREEDOM RING (HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY)

Every day, is another series of steps. Don’t think about tomorrow, think about what you are accomplishing right this minute. You’ve got control this minute. And when the next minute comes, control that one. Don’t let your past failures dictate your thoughts for the future. Marvel in the grace of your successes.

In 1776 this country was founded winning its freedom from British rule. This was also the start of a movement to provide religious freedoms for all. The United States celebrated a major Bicentennial in 1976. Much like the accomplishment of that landmark date for me my 200th blog and that if falls on the July 4th Holiday is not some random coincidence, its providence: timely preparation for future eventualities. The protective care of God or of nature as a spiritual power. As we celebrate freedoms my blog is a symbol of a part of that freedom. In the United States for over 200 years now we’ve had the right to practice our religious beliefs without the fear of persecution. That however is falling to the wayside. Now if you offend someone by your religious beliefs you may be subject to legal lawsuits, or worse under criminal law. Today there are districts that force pastors to turn in to the city government their sermons for approval prior to preaching them. Prayer has been banned in schools around this great nation, prayer before a sporting event, prayer for the military is being banned, and more and more restrictions are being placed on the Christian faith. This was foretold in scripture and now as we see the rise of false doctrine, the rise of wolves in sheep’s clothing, we can only pray we remain faithful and as we become the persecuted church, we stand for God.

As I am now at my 200th blog post, the date in which I post is not lost on me. As my life has taken a new direction and I am starting this new journey I find the irony of God’s mercy and grace, and perfect timing are just that, perfect. We have so many freedoms in our country and one of them is to reinvent ourselves when we need to. Our past just like our past sins, they don’t always have to hold us back. Within reason our past doesn’t have to define our future. Baring any major criminal issues, we are free to journey to new lands, plant a flag, and build a new life. We are free from Sin because Jesus paid the price; he became the sacrificial Passover lamb, and as innocent blood was spilt, paid the price for the chains to be broken. The veil was broken, and the separation between God and man was dissolved. Matthew 27:51 “51 Then, behold, the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom; and the earth quaked, and the rocks were split,” The moment Christ died for us we gained new life, new freedom, the new Covenant that allowed us to be forgiven for our sins and not be held in bondage any longer, simply put Freedom was bought and paid for in blood.

Our country has fought many wars, some understandable, others perhaps questionable, but no matter the personal, or political opinions of any of the wars, the underlying message is the same, soldier’s fight and die for our country. It’s not up for debate when you join the military, you swear allegiance to this nation, to our flag and within that freedom of choice, you choose to fight for the freedoms spelled out in our constitution. “I do solemnly swear to uphold and defend against all enemies foreign and domestic.” Thousands upon thousands have died protecting this nation over the 200 plus years we’ve been here. As we’ve been free from the bonds of sin for just under 2000 years give or take, we often forget the true meaning behind Passover and what was done for us. Easter today is the rising of our Lord and Savior, the Son of God who underwent pain and suffering at the hands of man who enjoyed the savagery of tearing flesh from a man, causing more pain then the average person could ever take, and then humiliated further was forced to carry a wood cross a few miles to their own place of death, and then if the rest of the torture weren’t enough, to have metal spikes driven through your hands and feet and if you actually felt it if your body weren’t in shock already, the weight on your chest as you tried to hold yourself up despite the 4-5 inch spike through your feet. Red, to show the world the blood we’ve shed. Blue to show the world that we are true, white to show the world that we will fight. 3 colors, Red-the blood Christ had shed, Blue the Holy Spirit that is all round us, and White the brightness of the Heavenly Father that we cannot look at. No surprise that our flag has three colors and God is the trinity.

Like myself there are many others who where captivated by the movie wonder of Independence Day (1996) The President Whitmore speech always resonated with me. “Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. “Mankind.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night!” We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!” Mankind has been at war long since before Christ, and even after Christ we are still consumed with war, and death, and Sin. The blessings we have however are the sin that condemns us, only does so of our own free will. We are free to make our own choices, we are free to break a heart, or to help put it back together. We are free to fight, or bring peace. We are free to love, or to hate. We have the choice to declare war as a soldier for Christ, or a soldier for Satan. We have the freedom to pick a side and as a devoted soldier for Christ I tell the Devil, ‘I will not go quietly into the night, I will not vanish without a fight, I am going to live on, I am going to survive, because today I celebrate my independence day, free from annihilation of Sin that once held me.’

Since February 24th I have posted 200 times. I have used 200 of my own photos, I have used countless amounts of scripture, and the amount of time I have put in is incalculable. To this day I have had 1286 Visitors, 3628 Views, I’ve had 359 likes and 235 Comments. I have reached an astounding 51 countries and have had more support than I could have ever imagined for a small time blog like my own. God is absolutely at work with my little blog and I truly believe that God has moved me to write posts that have made people cry, posts that have made people laugh, and post that have touched hearts just when it needed to. Although feedback is sometimes few in between, I know that everyday my blog is being read by people from around the word as I have averaged 4-6 different countries a day. I do believe the most countries I ever hit in one day were 9. Surprisingly the most popular post I created was “Akula, kotorya Ne plavayet, Ne tonet. “The shark that does not swim, drowns.” Since it’s debut on April 9th 2017 this post has been viewed 214 times, blowing the rest of the others out of the water. The next closest blog is the Right Place at the Right Time, a blog that described a young man I came across involved in a roll over accident. The Shark that does not swim drowns discusses how we as people and Christians must always continue to move forward even when it’s hard. My personal belief of why this is so popular is because it’s about sharks, and the fact the first part is in Russian, just a coincidence. I get it, who doesn’t love sharks right? It astounds me every day I look at my stats I see at least 1 hit on this particular blog post and I can’t help but smile and laugh now. I never would have imagined any of my posts becoming popular enough to beat out IMDB when searched.

As my blog has continued to grow, and my support along with it, I would like to personally thank all those who first off made this blog a reality. My close friend Heather who led me to WordPress, and my Pastor Glen who continues to push my spiritual growth, my growth as a writer, and guides me when I start to stray off course. You both have been influential in my current success, and I know that God has placed you both in my life for a reason, and at just the right times for this to be possible. All I can do is thank you from the bottom of my heart, and pray for you both, as I continue to grow and make this ministry as big as God will allow. I know that in order for any of this to have happened a lot of things had to come to be first, and as God has been moving the pieces on the bored to have this happen, I know that this ministry is and will continue to do Gods work. God is always working in all of us, and I know that as for me, God’s not done with me yet.

The pride I feel to live in what’s still the greatest nation on earth, a nation where I am still free to practice my faith, write about my Love of Jesus Christ, and tell others about my love. I am proud to know that I can share my testimony with others without fear and hold my head high and tell the world I am a proud Christian, a free Christian, free from persecution, and free from the bonds of Sin.

As I continue to move forward with this blog I pray God continues to bless me. I pray that as I move forward my new ministry, my new brainchild will be born. As I continue to grow I want to create a Christian outreach program for Veteran Suicide Prevention. I want to reach out to veterans and with the Gospel spread the word of hope, of love, and in that they will see the hope in tomorrow. Through Jesus Christ there is always hope and freedom. Veterans who fight for this country are sadly often forgotten and as veterans often move towards isolation they try to fight the fight alone. The truth is none of us veterans are alone and it’s in our faith we can be brought together. It’s in that faith we are told to help pick up one another’s burdens and help carry their crosses. My new ministry will be unique and with God’s blessing will grow and touch lives. Please pray and with the support of my followers I may take my dream and turn it to a reality.

The Devil tries day in and day out to break our spirits, to pull us away from God, to destroy our perspective to God. When we consider who the true enemy is, and what’s truly at steak there’s a quote I think of. William Wallace “Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live… at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM!”

 

Walking Judgments

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Walking Judgments 7-2-17

As I walk through my building with mud from my boots to my knees I am filled with so many negative judgments of myself. I get the impression the people in the building are staring at me. I imagine what they are thinking, and envision the thoughts of disgust and jokes. I felt insecure and embarrassed by my appearance. The more I walked through the building a second judgment started to creep into my mind. No one noticed, I think to myself. Was that true? Had no one noticed in 7 floors did no one notice my dreadful appearance? Then I try to imagine which one was worse, that fact those who did probably passed negative judgments, or that I am so insignificant at my job that no one would notice at all.

Bad judgments all around swirl in an out of thought with little regard of a purpose. It’s hard going through life always casting judgments around like a snow blizzard falling to the ground. We try and try to squish the uprising before they reach the surface, but always too little too late.

Checking The Facts:

 

  1. I was involved with the rescue of a man who was ejected from his vehicle.
  2. Without going home I was already doing to be 20 minutes late for work
  3. I did a good thing by stopping and helping.
  4. Negative judgments happen and we can’t always change that.

It’s hard to face when we think those thoughts and feelings control our day. The truth is, we often give away so much power to others, and we keep very little for ourselves. The pain we hold onto deep inside is often the reason we give up so much, and allow so much negativity to infect or infest our lives.

Are our biggest self-judgments linked to our biggest fear? I believe the answer is yes. For example my biggest fear is abandonment. When I am dating someone I feel I will not be good enough and they will leave. When I’m working I fear I won’t be good enough at my job, or not be needed at my position. The truth is when it comes to both the judgments of others shouldn’t affect me as much as they do. We obviously know the old saying “sticks and stones my break my bones but names will never hurt me.” We know that’s a crock of crap. We know that words do hurt because were human, and we have feelings. We know that bullying does hurt us, that someone we love when they say cruel things often cut the deepest. The key to overcoming that is repetitive action of telling yourself Jesus loves you, and the judgment of God is the most important thing. We cannot live our lives listening to the lies were told by the world.

Today’s society is obsessed by looks, everything on TV is about looking right, makeup, fashion, and as always TV shows must have the most attractive people on the planet. We watch this worldview all around us and it sinks in and when we look in the mirror we don’t see that perfect image. I myself have struggled with my limitations and even recently as I’ve tried to get back into the dating world, I see myself as a failure. It’s a tough pill to swallow and when it seems there’s so much against you it’s hard not to pass judgments upon yourself. I’m not very good at this myself; I’m not good at keeping a positive attitude about myself. I often think negative thoughts about my looks, my voice, my life, and I often think of myself as a failure in my love life and even my professional life. To top it off as more and more of my close friends are becoming parents I look at my own life and as 7 years with my ex wife came to a close and realizing I still don’t have the family I’ve always prayed for, the children I’ve always wanted, I judged myself to be a failure and I truly felt it deep down into my heart. I realize this isn’t Gods plan for me, and I realize the little voice feeding me the negative emotions, the harmful thoughts are Satan whispering in my ear, and it’s incredibly difficult to ignore.

As I confess my deepest fears, my deepest failings, I don’t do so to gather sympathy, but the opposite, to spread hope. As I have been faced with so much in the last year, and throughout my life, I know that God is still on my side, I know that all these years of pain God’s been there in the trenches with me. “I’ve paid my dues, time after time, I’ve done my sentence but committed no crime. And bad mistakes I’ve made a few. I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face but I’ve come through… We are the champions, my friends, and we’ll keep on fighting ‘til the end.” We all know the song, we all know Queen’s ‘We are the Champions’. Let me tell you, as long as we have God on our side, we are the champions of this world, because we will live in Eternity with the creator of all. We will overcome all our trials, our troubles, and we will be dubbed champions over death, if we just allow Christ into our lives. In Christ we will always rise above hate, bigotry, fear, sorrow, loss, and disappointment. We never know what tomorrow will bring. We will always feel the rainbow of emotions, but we will always have help getting through the tough days we WILL have. Have faith in the lord. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understand. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”