Tag: jesus

My Super Power

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My Super Power

So this may come as a complete shock to most of you, but I have a super power. In the last year and after an exhaustive amount of time on dating sites, I have come to find I am invisible. The amount of greetings I’ve sent in a year verses the amount of new friends or relationships I’ve made being under 5 shows me I am likely to be invisible to most people. In my mind the more dating sites I joined the better my odds were at making friends, and finding a relationship.

When you send more then a dozen greetings in a day and yet I receive no replies. The truth is in today’s world online dating stinks. The internet is littered with people who try to con you, who try to use you, and that’s if you warrant the attention. Finding the frauds is more and more difficult as their game has changed. While their game changes it’s also important for mine to change.

For many people invisibility is a real annoying truth. Going all day with few people making an attempt to reach out, and not being able to make new connections, it’s been a long road. When you look at how those sites work they are largely looks based to start with. If you aren’t a 10 in this world you don’t get far. This world has become shallow and no longer cares about the deeper parts of a person, instead it’s worried about the way people look. The old saying never judge a book by its cover obviously never caught on. The point is, don’t lower your own standards to fit into the world. Never give up on your own biblical principles just because the world has. Never give up on your moral compass to fill the void you may have. It’s easy to get lonely and start to think of ways to fill that void, but the feeling that comes from putting your beliefs aside to make your worldly desires feel better is horrible.

It’s not easy spending the holidays alone, especially two in a row. It’s not easy to be lonely, it’s not easy to feel left out, or abandoned. It’s not easy feeling like there’s a void deep within your heart, but there’s hope. John 15:18-19 “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” It’s not easy being lonely day in and day out.

People in this life can be mean and cruel. They can try to use you, abuse your kindness, try to take advantage, and with all of that, the things some people say to you just hurts. I was talking with someone and offered to show them around town because they were new to the area. They wanted something from me, and when I refused they said my ex wife made the right choice in leaving me, that I wasn’t worth sticking around. Even though she was a stranger, the words still hurt. While it’s very common to run into people on the internet who try to scam you, or pray on your naivety, you have to have your wits.

It’s a sad reality to know that most people on these dating sites are out to get you. The vast majority of the people in my experience that have talked with me desire something. iTunes gift cards, transfer money through western union, or any number of other means. While it hurts to know I’m either invisible, or people think I’m easy prey. Regardless, it doesn’t make life easy when all your met with on your quest is negativity, and rejection. Both of them hurt, and when people don’t get what they want and they take a stab at hurting you, it’s a tough pill to swallow. The key is to remember that though you may be invisible to people because lets face it, people aren’t very nice sometimes, you’re never invisible to God. You are His creation, and he is our (Abba) father. He cares about you, he cares about your happiness, and your well being, so when people hurt you, God hurts for us. God is never not with us, and you will always be a priority for God. Both good and bad, God wants us to be happy. God wants us to have a relationship with Him. Yes it’s hard to be alone during the holidays especially, but in that time alone, at least try to take some comfort knowing that the Father of the universe, the King on the throne, the creator of life and Heaven, knows you and loves you. You can’t deny how amazing that is, that even in our tiny little lives, God loves us so much, that Jesus Died for our, and even if it was just one of us, Jesus would have given His life.

My super power may be invisibility at the moment, but one day, my kindness, my generosity, my love and compassion will pay off, and my obedience to the Lord, my love for people, and my steadfast stance against the Devils attacks, I will be rewarded in abundance for my actions. And to borrow a line from the Dark Knight himself, “It’s not who I underneath, but what I do that defines me!” Don’t let other people’s opinions destroy you. Yes it hurts, yes, the words sting and you will feel it, but don’t let it break you. You aren’t trash because God doesn’t make trash. You aren’t a mistake because God doesn’t make mistakes. You are perfectly made, and somewhere out there, there’s someone perfectly made for you. Don’t give up hope, and never quit.

Season to Give

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Season to Give

We are in the season of good will, a season of being thankful and grateful, but what’s that mean? In this life we can choose the life of light or life in the dark. If you put a little love in your heart the world would be a better place. This is a season of love, and to love your fellow man. Jesus came to this world to love us, to die for us, to save us from ourselves and sin. Seasons greetings and happy holidays.

There are so many needy families out there that this holiday season is just a reminder how bad things are for them. It’s hard to see the reminder of how life has been hard, and discouraging. Those who have the ability to lend a helping hand should. It’s the strong’s responsibility to protect the weak. Psalm 34:8 “8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” We may have the power to drastically change the lives of just one family, but I guarantee that family will forever remember.

We may not always be able to save everyone, but we can do the best we can. Growing up in a mostly poor home, I remember the struggles. The kindness of strangers often changed my life forever, and now that I’m older I feel the need to pay it forward. Paying it forward is the best gift we can give to someone.

Merry Christmas to All

 

 

 

 

All our Hope

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All our hope

All we can do is drop to our knees and pray, placing all our hope in Jesus. I know I’m not worthy to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven, but God is big and I am small. Some people are cruel, and manipulative. Pray to God for their souls, pray to God for the change that needs to happen.

I’ve been down on my knees a lot lately. I’ve been taken to the emotional woodshed, and all I can say is Thank God yesterday’s gone. Im no stranger to pain, no stranger to heartache and heartbreak, but I’m free and I’m saved in the Blood of Christ. We can be beaten, tortured, we can loose it all on this world, and we can be broken down, we can be so hurt we may not feel like we can breathe anymore, but if you can still draw breath, then the hope in Christ, all our sins are forgiven, our tears will one day be wiped away, and the pain of yesterday will be gone.

There’s nothing anyone can do to take your salvation away. Your heart for Jesus will outlive your pain, the attacks you will face daily. ‘If you can take it you can make it’ unbroken.

A Journey In The Darkness

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A Journey in the darkness

Psalm 91:4 “He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.”

The joys of this life can be easily snuffed out in the mists of dark days, of struggles, and of heartbreak. When the days get you down you have to be strong. It’s so easy to fall into darkness and despair. I’ve seen it happen in my own life, and in the lives of many that I know. Despair is a dangerous and sometimes deadly trap. Despair can easily turn into quicksand and drag you down, and must like the Dementors in the famed Harry Potter books, it can suck the happiness right out of your lungs and make you feel like you’ll never be happy again. One thing in my own life I’ve found is how fickle some friends can be. Since my gun shot wound a year ago I’ve found more and more friends are fickle and come around only when they want something, or they are bored and know you’ll be there as a last resort.

While there’s no doubt that this hurts, and I know I can’t be the only person that goes through this, what hurts the most is the exodus that’s occurred. While I realize that bullet changed my life, and while I am responsible, the feeling of loss from the mass abandonment that was left behind is heart breaking. Now over a year later, I’ve had another exodus from obvious different causes, but never the less the pain is the same. This presents a new kind of struggle, and yet again staring at the brink of darkness, and once more unto the breach. The war continues and as there is a great sense of loss, I am left with one undeniable fact, that I am not alone. Though the case may be that while physically and emotionally I am or feel alone, God is always there with me. While this doesn’t take away the desire and drive to meet someone special, or want to make new local friends, it does prevent me from falling into complete and total despair.

I know at the end of the day when I’m feeling down and I’m feeling blue, I know that my future is much brighter then it appears because I know that my Abba is looking out over me. I swore no matter how bad it got I would never stair down the wrong side of that circumstance again, and that I would be an advocate for finding another way. There is always hope as long as we breath, and while I am lonely, while my Christmas wish is to find love, and to not being alone anymore, and to make some good local friends, I know that God is with me and in time, those things will be mine, because it’s what my deepest desire is from my heart. I may not always makes the right choices, but I try to.

If you’re feeling despair this season reach out, find someone. If you’re happy as can be this holiday season, reach out to your friends or family that are having a hard time. Don’t forget this is both the happiest time of year, and often the saddest. Faith is so important, and even when it’s sometimes hard, don’t loose hope, and never give up. Don’t ever forget that you can be protected under Angels wings, and your God, the King of all is powerful enough to handle any situation, every tear, every cut, you aren’t suffering through it alone. God is not just watching, God experiences it all with us. Rest assure you will make it out, and one day you will make it home, a home of pure perfection.

 

 

 

Finding Love This Holiday

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Finding Love This Holiday

It’s been over a year now since my wife separated from me. In that time I have spent an exhaustive amount of time trying to broaden my social life, along with that, I’ve tried to get back into the dating world. It’s not an easy task when you don’t have a solid social life to start with. Getting back out there is hard enough when you have a ton of friends let alone, when you don’t. The most common advice I get is to just be patient and don’t look for it. The other is all in good time. See here’s the thing with that, if I don’t try, it won’t happen. Cause and effect, if I sit at home alone every day people aren’t going to just come to me. In order for me to legitimately find new friends, and perhaps a new relationship, I need to actually be proactive. Nothing happens without work or effort.

Something else I’ve heard far to often is learning to be content being on my own. It literally drives me nuts when people give blanket advice and really have no idea about the whole situation. People like to give advice without thinking of the actual situation someone’s in. There’s a level of isolationism that’s not healthy, and while isolation isn’t healthy in long exposure, there are times when it’s healthy. When you are feeling vulnerable like a live wire isolation is the worst thing for you. When you go through a divorce or separation, the experts say to have a healthy budding social life, not to isolate yourself. While there is something to be said about self-reflection during times like that, that’s not the same thing as not getting out or going anywhere. If you only go out once every 3 months or so, and you don’t spend time with people in between any of that, it’s likely the effects of isolation will be more detrimental then the ability to pull positive lessons from it.

All that being said, I would like you to think about the type of friend you are, and the type of people who are in your life. Everyone is going through something and while I’m not excusing gross negativity, what I am saying is be empathetic for the blight that has fallen upon your loved ones this year. Everyone endures struggles, but some endure more then others. Some people who are alone this year can find themselves feeling more lonely, and are more likely to fall into depression.

In my own life not only have I fallen into a tough spot to be, but I’ve had a mass exodus of friends, and some close friends in the last year. People in my life I never thought would leave or abandon our friendship have left without so much as a single word of explanation. While it’s true, everything works out for the glory of God, that doesn’t make the sting of disappointment any less, or the heartbreak from loosing people I cared deeply for. It’s not easy loosing people, even if they say it’s for the best. The cause and effect however still remains the same. I know to many people who have suffered great losses this year and can always use a little extra love.

My hope this holiday season is to find someone who truly wants to be with me for me. Someone who cares for me, and the season will end for me, and a new one begins. While I would love to enter in a beautiful relationship, I also want to have a budding social life. I crave social interaction and wish to have a solid group of friends. While I understand I may need to continue to be patient for this, I can still wish for a Christmas miracle. Remember though there are a lot of people out there, and several you would probably find within your own circle of friends. Don’t forget them this year, don’t forget the losses people experience and how that may affect them around the holidays. Try to lift them up and be there for them. It may not be a lot, but for some that little extra effort may be the difference in all the world. I realize people get busy around the holidays, but any extra effort won’t go unnoticed.

 

 

Breaks my Heart

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Breaks my Heart

Going into this holiday season it breaks my heart to think about all those people out there who are suffering, who’ve lost everything, who feel hopeless. It breaks my heart to think about all those people who are without homes, without family, and have so much less then I do. I was just in Hawaii and the number of homeless is staggering. I’ve been all over the world and I’ve seen what poverty looks like up close. I’ve seen homes made of mud and no floors. I’ve seen houses made of scrap metal and tin, and we in America take for granted many of the gifts we have. It breaks my heart those who suffer from heartbreak this time of year. How many people suffer through divorce, or death, or loss of jobs this time of year? This time of year is hardest on people, and also the most joyful, but we can’t forget what it’s all about.

 

It’s hard being alone not having someone to share this time of year with. I miss going Christmas shopping, and cuddling by the fire watching Christmas movies. I miss sharing a glass of eggnog, and awaiting the look on my love’s face when they open the perfect gift. It’s a hard time for me this year, and even as hard as it is for me, I know others, many, many others, have it so much then myself. I feel more connected to the suffering of others this year then I have in the past.

 

This time of year we remember the goodness in our lives. We remember that the Son of the Lord was born and we celebrate the birth of our Savior. We celebrate the birth of a Child that would grow to take our sins upon himself and pay for our sins in innocent blood. The Lord blesses us every day and we often take those blessings for granted. When I look at all the suffering in this world I feel so small, what can I possibly do?

 

When I was in Hawaii recently I looked around and realized how blessed I was. I was in a wonderful place, with beautiful caring people, and I thought about those who where far worse off then me. All we can do is believe that God’s in charge and have faith that it’s working out. We have the ability to change the lives of those around us, if we just have the eyes and the heart to fight for change. We can’t always change or save everyone, but we can try.

 

Remember this time of year isn’t about the shiny baubles, the gifts, the shiny lights and colors, it’s about the good will towards your fellow neighbors. It’s about celebrating the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. We need to take a step back from the commercials, the drive to shop till you drop, and all the other things that draws your attention from the true beauty of our holiday. Of course enjoy the holiday and all that goes will, just make sure you don’t loose that focus. Take a little thought and pray for those who are less fortunate. It’s cold this time a year and there are families without food, without heat, and many without a home. Pray for them, and do something nice. Good will towards your fellow humans. Be kind, and be generous.

Back To Life

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Back to life

The return to my normal life came back like a kick in the face. Less then 24 hours after my return I find myself right back in the war. My first appointment was supposed to be easy and straight forward and yet the VA’s propensity for failure is never without a small sense of irony.

While the appointment wasn’t a total loss, it was a quick reminder I’m no longer in paradise and I needed to be ready to pick up arms again and be ready for the impending fight.

When you return from a vacation, or in my case an intense clinic of physical and psychological exorcises designed to push, motivate, and rejuvenate your soul, it’s a challenge returning to life and watching as the difficulty continues.

It’s important to stay focused and realize that just because there are hiccups in the road doesn’t mean all is lost. I’m finding myself in a struggle to manage the emotional roller coaster, but as far as frustrations go, breaking out in chronic hives is high on my list. Breathing and trying to recall the serenity prayer is a big step for me to remaining focused on the big picture.

Overcome

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Overcome

Yesterday I did something I never thought I’d be able to do, I went and successfully surfed at North Beach in Hawaii. I was instructed, and taught, but the more important thing was I didn’t let my physical challenge to get in the way. Now, within reason of course, this can be a good and bad thing, but the risks, and the soreness from after the fact aside, I was able to surf after having major back surgery. Now the day after, sure I’m sore, but my heart feels good. The things I saw while on the water blew my mind. I have heard of people being able to overcome amazing injuries, but what I saw, renewed my hope and my spirit that anything is possible.

One of the guys I’ve had the pleasure spending time with is an Iraq war amputee. He suffered a major injury from an IED blast and after struggling with that injury ended up having his leg cut off from slightly below the knee. He is one of the guys I was able to go surfing with, but it’s not just that, he bikes, he skateboards, and yea, he surfs too. How amazing is it, that a guy with only one leg, a piece of modern technology, and a will, a drive to accept his situation, and allow himself to overcome the challenges of this world to live out a dream! Watching him get up on the surfboard and ride some pretty good size waves and doing it with grace and finesse was truly an amazing sight to see.

When we have major things happen in our life, it’s so easy to say we’ll never be able to again, or it’s to hard, or it’s to difficult, or even, it’s impossible. Yesterday I saw what it means to throw the word impossible and destroy it. Every single one of the Veterans, every one of us was able to get up and ride the waves. All of us has our own distinct physical limitations. All of us have suffered major injuries, and while back surgery and amputation are the worst of them, we all hurt on a daily basis. Now I’m not saying be reckless, but know your limitation. It’s okay to push the boundaries a little. It’s okay to follow your dreams, and when it comes to the body, it’s okay to know in your heart you can push it, and not hurt yourself. None of us pushed too hard, just enough to feel that sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

In life we will always be hit with problems that seem so large we have no idea how to solve them. We see life and we feel it’s too big, and much like Luke Skywalker and the X-Wing in the swam at Deghoba, it’s just to big to lift. But Yoda a third of Luke’s size lifts it out of the water and moves it to a safe place. Why can’t we attack life’s problem in the same way? The lies the devil throw’s at us is one to keep up subdued. It’s meant to stop us from being able to thrive in this world. There are always options open to you, and sometimes it’s not pretty, but we always have a way through the darkness. When bad things happen we must find a way to change our circumstances and use that for good. It’s so often I hear the word can’t from everyone in this walk of life, and even myself have used the word can’t. Let me explain, first off, I have used the word can’t often after my back surgery. I have said I can’t go rock climbing anymore, and I can’t do push ups or sit ups anymore, but the truth is, even though I shouldn’t, that’s not to say I can’t. I have major back degeneration and I need to know the limits as to not hurt myself. That in no means, means I can’t do it. Should I surf every day when I know I have a bad neck? Nope, of course I shouldn’t do it every day, but taking opportunities, and living life is part of the wonders God created in this world. 4 months ago when I had surgery, I never would have imagined I would be on a beach, in Hawaii, and surfing, along with learning how to sail, learning how to canoe with a big group, bike riding around parts of the island, it’s truly an amazing feeling to know I have safely been able to push the bounds and continue on.

While there are physical issues that come from pushing those boundaries, that’s all part of the game. Cause and effect, which is why you need to know your limitations, but always push yourself. Don’t do it and over do it, but don’t stop living life either. God wants for us to enjoy the beauty and wonder of this world, and if you never dare to dream big, then you will be the one to hold yourself back. Doing the impossible is only impossible because of how we hold ourselves back. Don’t allow yourself to fall into depression from an injury, learn to see it for what it is, and learn how to use it. I most certainly won’t be doing things to hurt myself, but it’s in those times where I can go and find a new way. I can’t run anymore, but I can swim. I can’t lift weights anymore, but I can do yoga. I can’t to push ups anymore, but with the right bike I can ride. All of these things I can do of course I have to be careful of doing in moderation. It’s all about how much we do it, and to know when to stop so we don’t overdo it.

In the Army we are taught to read a situation, adapt and overcome. We never know why some things happen, but even in the worst of tragedies there is hope and beauty. We can’t loose sight of it and don’t allow whatever obstacles you face to be the end all for you. Never quit pushing, and never quit trying. There is always a path for you and though it may not be easy to find, God’s got something planned for you. This week I have seen the beauty of perseverance and great kindness from total strangers. Watching them overcome what they have been through and thrive. Many of us have very little money, struggles with work, struggles with relationships, but they are happy, and thriving. Don’t allow yourself to struggle forever. Find your way, and follow what God wants for you. As it’s said, I have plans for peace. God will allow us to go through trials, but ultimately, if it destroys you, it’s on you. Pick yourself back up, brush yourself off, wipe the tears from your face, and drive on.

Life’s Winding Road

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Life’s Winding Road

While in life it’s interesting how we can see the curve in the river behind us, and then we can’t see beyond the curve in front of us. Have you ever seen the river from the sky? When you look down sometimes it looks like the river is going to wrap back to itself, but it doesn’t, and it slinks and slithers along the ground. Isn’t it how we look at life? The life I have lived has seemed to be like the winding river. It’s sometimes unforgiving, and it’s winding and twisting, and sometimes it seems completely random.

It’s easy to look at life and feel hopeless, and helpless. It’s in those moments when it looks like your river is now a waterfall to your own demise. For me, only once did I get to a point when I felt there was no hope, no way out, and it nearly destroyed me. The faith it takes to carry on and continue to move forward, allowing the river to naturally take its shape, it’s own course.

Much as when we are on the river we can’t truly wrap our heads around the intricacies, the beauty of the winds and curves, how are we so certain in our lives things will never get better. Our view is so small, and yet when something bad happens to us, the end of the world is upon us and we just can’t see the way out. We have to remember that the river continues to move, and we must move along with it.

Life isn’t an easy path, and it certainly isn’t one that will always go the way we have planned, but when we trust in the Lord to guide us, navigating the river will be easier. It’s about having the faith to trust in the twists and curves and remember that no mater what twists and turns exist, we will always make it off the river to the vast ocean, and in our case, that’s Heaven.

If we remember that the road isn’t the most important aspect, and we truly remember to focus on the things we have the ability to change, and let go of the stresses and worry for those things in which we have little to no control over, we would actually be much happier. Remember whatever we are going through today, God’s still in control, still on the throne, and we still know how the story ends. That should give us comfort and although it won’t always provide the comfort it ought to, I urge you to reach out to a fellow Christian and allow them to help you bare your cross.

Don’t short change yourself, and allow yourself to focus on the long game. Life’s about the long trek down the river, not the speed boat rout. Believe in yourself, and help others along their path. You will always find help when you need it. God will always give you what you need. Always.

Show Some Respect

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Show Some Respect

As a friend, how do you treat your friends? How respectful are you towards your friends? What kind of person are you? Are you a friend who drops everything when you’re needed? Are you a friend who goes to great lengths to check on your friends when you know they are in need? Are you a friend who helps others financially, spiritually, or emotionally? Are you the type of person that pays forward good deeds? Or, are you the kind of person that accepts those good deeds but never repays them? Are you selfish and you take for granted those people in your life that are always there for you? How do we as a people look to Jesus Christ? Are we appreciative of the sacrifice Christ made for us?

When you have much to offer, people will flock to you in droves. When Christ was healing everyone, handing out free food, lifting everyone up, the people loved him. When he started talking about everyone being sinners, and heaven wasn’t achievable for everyone because of our love of Sin, they turned on him. They threaten to stone him, and ran him out from one town after after. This is the savior and only when it suited us, did the people appreciate the truth, no, they preferred to live happy in a lie, instead of face the bitter truth.

( Spoilers Ahead for The Matrix)

I’m reminded of the first Matrix movie. The Matrix a prison meant to enslave the human race by keeping their minds trapped inside a digital construct, while harvesting a human being to essentially be living batteries. A soldier for the cause for the revolution against the machines Morphious In the first film one of the freed mines, a man named Cypher betrays the crew and causes a lot of problem. When the betrayal is discovered Cypher describes how he’d rather live in ignorance, and the joys of the Matrix, rather then suffer and live with the truth.

Proverbs 10:9 “He that walketh uprightly walketh surely: but he that perverteth his ways shall be known.”

Luke 8:17 “For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.”

Aren’t we the same way? We look at Jesus as the answer to the problem. We sin, but it’s okay because we are forgiven, so it doesn’t matter what we do, as long as we say we’re sorry once in a while, and we keep living our lives. Yeah, see, that’s not how this works at all. Hebrews 10:26 “For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins,” It’s said that when we take the Holy Spirit into our hearts the idea of sin becomes so repulsive we don’t do it intentionally. While we will always have moments where the flesh takes over and we Sin, the guilt we should feel when we do is where the repentance comes into the picture.

We are responsible for our own sins. We are responsible for how we treat others around us. We are responsible for the kindness in our own hearts. We are responsible for the selfishness in our hearts. The taking of Bashiba by King David was a knowing sinner at the time he took her into his bed. He knowingly sinned as he plotted the death of her husband. He knowingly sinned as he attempted to plot and scheme to hide his own sin. How appreciative of someone who picks up our tab at dinner? Now think about it, how appreciative are we now when we think about our eternal salvation? Do we live like someone who has been freed from an eternal death sentence? There’s a price for our sin, there’s a price for our actions, how we treat someone, and “The bill comes due, always” (Dr. Strange)