Man On The Run

Man On The Run:

For many years as a child I felt as if I were running. I was running away from bullies. I was running away from my pain, and my fears. I ran from my gut instincts, and I felt as if I was made to run forever. When life would get bad I would run and push the deepest pain into the recesses of my heart, and I’d carry on running. There’s another type of running that I’ve done a lot in my life and that’s running from God’s calling of me.

We are all made for a purpose, and what that may be isn’t going to be spelled out all the time, but if we are patient, and if we listen, God will tell us. Psalm 138:8“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.” As a young boy I found comfort sitting in the pews of my church. I found comfort with the ear of my priest, and those few members who looked after me like one of their own kids. For as long as I can remember I’ve been in scripture, and I’ve asked tough questions. I have had a thirst of knowledge regarding God my whole life. When hard times hit I put my head down and punched through life unwilling to face more hardships. The thing I didn’t know back then, was all that running I would end up on the path God wanted me to regardless of my best efforts.

Where are you running to, or what are you running from? When our life is in the hands of the Lord can we truly be surprised when we eventually come full circle? I spent years saying I wasn’t cut out for ministry, and that it would me a mistake for me to tempt that journey. I spent years struggling with God as I’ve tried to come to grips with my hardships and my trials, searching for a reason for my pain. I searched for an absolution and even though the pain is still very real, the path now makes perfect sense.

My God has been making a masterpiece in me. I’ve been shaped and groomed for years for this path. God has laid the groundwork carefully, tirelessly, and has cried and hurt right along side of me. When babies teeth they hurt, and there isn’t a thing their parents can do but to be there and hold them while they cry. I am reminded of King David’s struggles in 2 Samuel 15:30-37 David’s eldest child has overthrown the kingdom forcing David to flee to avoid bloodshed. David could have gone anywhere, but he chose to go to the Mountain of Olives. A spiritual place so he could be close to God. When in need he ran to the one place he knew he could be closer to God. He went to the mountain peek, and prayed to God. He asked for forgiveness of his mistakes and sins, and he sought to repent for the errors of his ways.

Psalm 3“3 Lord, how are they increased that trouble me! many are they that rise up against me. 2 Many there be which say of my soul, There is no help for him in God. Selah. 3 But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head. 4 I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah. 5 I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the Lord sustained me. 6 I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people, that have set themselves against me round about. 7 Arise, O Lord; save me, O my God: for thou hast smitten all mine enemies upon the cheek bone; thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly. 8 Salvation belongeth unto the Lord: thy blessing is upon thy people. Selah.”

David prayed to the Lord on that Holy place and prayers were answered. While we may pray and not hear the answer right away, that doesn’t mean God doesn’t hear us, and it never means God is ignoring us. We may not always see the path God has laid out for us, and we may not always like the path laid in front of us, but we must always have faith in God. We may not like what we see but that doesn’t mean it’s not what is best for us. We must remember what faith is. Hebrews 11:1“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” When you’re on the run always remember where you can turn. Always remember that we can run away from our destiny, but if it’s God’s will, it’ll always catch up to us.

I still don’t always understand why things happen, but I am slowly getting to the point in my life where I trust God is working things out. This doesn’t mean we won’t have pain, and it doesn’t means we won’t be punished if we are the cause of our own struggles. We cannot expect to always be safe from trouble, but know if trouble comes we have the power of God on our side. Sin affects everyone and no one makes it through this life without being broken a time or two. We cannot expect to run forever but when you’re tired of running you can rest assured that Jesus is waiting for you with arms wide open. If you haven’t found God’s path for you don’t fret, just continue to pray, and get into the word. God will present the path to you when the time is right. Just keep the faith, and never stop living in Christ.

 

 

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It’s Looking At Me!

It’s Looking At Me!

My day started early. I was up at 0630 hours and even then I wondered why I keep doing this to myself. I know it’s good for me to get out and be social. The feeling of going out on my own never sits well. I often found myself on adventures alone in my youth but now I struggle. I’ve realized my fear has been conditioned and as a result from a particular mindset. Can we ever be rid of fear? Is the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself? The Apostle Paul spells out fear in Philippians 4:6-7“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”Fear comes to all but in prayer me, and all of you can slowly come to face fear on our terms. We know where our true power comes from, God almighty. “God, I cannot endure this, it’s just to much.” This is a prayer I’ve heard often. I’m afraid of being alone, going into places where I won’t be accepted. For so many years making friends was difficult for me. After years of bullying, I became unsure of myself. I was shy, and reserved, because I wanted to be accepted. The flip side is my desire to have a battle buddy with me. The knowledge of someone being around if it ever hit the fan. All these things fall under fears, mine, and perhaps yours. The thing about fear is it comes in all shapes and sizes. Fear can keep us alive and spare us from danger. Fear can also prevent us from living if we aren’t careful. How do we embrace the good fear, and rid ourselves of the bad fear? Stick with me, and we’ll make this journey together.

The fear of going out alone which for me is a two-pronged attack has been a constant challenge since my military days. The judgment and unknown have beaten me down filling me with anxieties, and great discomfort. I am not comfortable calling it a fear because I am able to go out and even if I don’t like it I can always maintain. 1 Corinthians 10:13“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” We must rely on God to take our fear, turn it into courage, and stand firm.

We must learn to feed our minds with positive, uplifting, and empowering scripture. Proverbs 23:6-7 “Do not eat the bread of a man who is stingy;[b] do not desire his delicacies, 7 for he is like one who is inwardly calculating.[c] “Eat and drink!” he says to you, but his heart is not with you.” We become what we put in, and that includes how we feed our minds. We must learn to be weary of the coveted deceptions of the Devil. Fear and lies are two of the biggest tools the Devil uses to ensnare us in his trap. Find scripture that fills your soul and memorize it to heart. Do not be so concerned with numbers, and chapters, it’s the verbiage, the words that matter. The heart and soul of the voice of God coming off the page and entering your heart must be a major step for all of us to face our deepest fears. Fear is a slave, and if we want to be free, we must learn to break the chains and then the only one that can do that is God. The blood spilt from Jesus, which covered the whole of the Earth, we must know that our freedom is found in Christ alone. We can never be free without Jesus. Romans 12:1-2“12 I appeal to you therefore, brothers,[a] by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.[b] 2 Do not be conformed to this world,[c] but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.[d]” and Ephesians 4:20-24 “20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self,[a] which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” We are reborn in Christ and we become heirs to the Kingdom, so with royal blood and the power of the Holy Spirit, what then do we fear?

As I move forward in my life in my walk with Christ, I find myself being put in new experiences. The lobster is looking at me. No it’s not alive anymore, but it’s something I’ve never done. For instance, on my recent Wounded Warrior Project; Soldier Ride, I came face to face with a lobster. I’ve never eaten lobster before but I finally got to try it. Breaking the shell, wearing the bib, the whole works, and I didn’t let the fear of it interfere with the experience. I was in no way afraid of the lobster, but I saw others who were afraid to try it. We cannot be intimidated and scared off so easily. When fear is staring at you, be sure to take that contest and don’t be the one to blink first. Control your fear, and do not let it control you.

We need to learn to push beyond our fears, our dispositions, and embrace life beyond our narrow-minded view. I’ve met so many people who won’t ever try even slightly exotic foods because they can’t stop over thinking their challenge. While lobster has always been a goal of mine to try, I will admit for a moment I was take aback when I saw it staring back at me. Fear of moving into the unknown is a dangerous slope because once you justify one fear, where does it end? If you are right with God, and you believe in Jesus as your savior, what do we truly have to fear in this life? Don’t let fear stop you form experiencing the joys and wonders of this world. Don’t be afraid to try, and don’t be afraid to explore. This world is a beautiful place with so many small wonders to experience, how can we look back at our lives and be satisfied if we’ve let fear keep us in bondage? Live life, and don’t be afraid to take those chances, and trust in your God. My God is with me every minute of every day, and I am never afraid of being forsaken. Yes failure may come but failure is just an opportunity to grow. “Anybody can try, only those with the will, will succeed.”(Arrow Preacher)

 

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Divorce

Divorce:

Divorce is something that’s found pretty often in our society now. Divorce affects more then 50% of all marriages, and that is either a lot of happy people celebrating the breaking of those bonds, or the flip side, the broken hearted who are trying to pick up the pieces of what’s left behind. When you put everything you have into fixing the hole in the ship, and no matter what you’ve tried to do, you realize it’s going to sink no matter what, the despair that fills your heart is sometimes more then you feel you can take. I spent the better part of the last two years trying to keep from facing the day I’d stand in front of a judge and hear those four words, ‘Judgment of Divorce Granted” No amount of time in the world can prepare you for the sinking feeling that takes over deep down in your stomach. I have tried to detach myself from any feeling, but I’m just not built that way. I have always given people second, third, and more chances after they’ve screwed up. I have always been the type of person to let people take advantage to a point because I felt I might eventually get through. All that time I’ve spent trying to fix my marriage, and to watch it still end this way, it’s hard not to feel the whispers of failure creeping in. Matthew 5:32“But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” From this point on, I will be judged by everyone I encounter as a twice-divorced man. I am the survivor of two separate affairs and sadly I will be judged negatively by most as if I were the cause of the affairs.

In the months since my separation I have been blamed by strangers who never knew me nor my situation. It’s not easy having to tell anyone I’ve been married twice, and waiting for their response, which often sounds of surprise, and wondering if they should be talking to me anymore. Some people are polite, and others aren’t. I have walked this path before, but this time has been different. This time it’s been harder, and the recovery hasn’t been as easy. In life though, I would submit, nothing worthwhile is easy. It may take time, even years, but some day, the broken will rise up and sing Hallelujah and be free from the pain that once chained them to sorrow. No matter how long it takes we must never give up hope, and we must never forsake our relationship with God. We must never rise to God in anger at the sinful choices of man or women. We have free will and people fall to sin. It happens even if we wish it didn’t. All we can do is pick ourselves up after a time to grieve and learn to stand all over again.

 

Tell Your Heart to Beat Again: By, Danny Gokey

You’re shattered

Like you’ve never been before

The life you knew

In a thousand pieces on the floor

And words fall short in times like these

When this world drives you to your knees

You think you’re never gonna get back

To the you that used to be

 

Tell your heart to beat again

Close your eyes and breathe it in

Let the shadows fall away

Step into the light of grace

Yesterday’s a closing door

You don’t live there anymore

Say goodbye to where you’ve been

And tell your heart to beat again

 

 

I can’t undersell this song when you find yourself feeling heart broken. This song brings the feeling to life. Everything for your good, is referring to God. In every situation we find ourselves, God is working it out so we will be all right in the end. Proverbs 28:20 “A faithful man will abound with blessings, but whoever hastens to be rich will not go unpunished.”This isn’t just referring to monetary wealth, but riches referring to any objects of our affection. Don’t take shortcuts because we will never truly appreciate what we have if we cheat our way to the top. We must remain strong in the storm. We must stand our ground when the Devil pushes us. We must remain vigilant as the serpent slithers all around us in the shadows. We must remain true to who we are and if we are a follower of Christ, then that truth is the light we stand on. Make sure that whatever you’re going through you try to maintain who you are in Christ.

Lean on your friends and family in your time in need. Take time to digest what’s happened, and prepare yourself for the battles ahead. There will be days that hurt like you wouldn’t believe, and then days you feel on top of the world, free as an eagle. The journey can be turbulent so prepare for it. Find yourself ways to keep occupied. Sitting at home sulking will only delay your healing and it’s not good for you. You may want to take a couple days, and that’s fine, but much more then that, and you will find yourself sinking into depression. Get out, stay active, and talk about it. Don’t be afraid to get out your anger, frustrations, sadness, and hurt. Find friends who will allow you to express yourself, and your feelings, because we have them for a reason. I don’t tell you all this as a cookie cutter self help aid, I say it from experience. I didn’t have the means to go out much after my ex-wife left, and I sat in the house for months alone, sulking in my own sorrow. It stunted my healing process, and the struggle to get better was very real.

Find new hobbies, things you like to do, that make you feel good about yourself. Often when you are the one being divorced it’s hard. You will question yourself and ask what you did wrong, why would they leave you, if you’re a good person, if you’re attractive enough, all kinds of questions and doubts will flood your mind but you have to realize Satan lies, and those feelings are lies. One person’s sinful action does not, and never will determine who you are. You are the child of a King and you are royalty to Heaven. You must find people who will help lift you up, remind you, who you are, and most importantly, you will need to remind yourself who you are. You can overcome those negative feelings slowly at a time, but you cannot do that if you sit around and push everyone away. You need people in your life because it’s in our fellow Christians we will find counsel and comfort in when going through these hard times. Allow others to help you carry your burden, and one day you will pay it forward for someone else.

Don’t give up hope, because even though the journey seems long, and hard, and it will be painful for a large portion of your struggle, the day will come you will realize it doesn’t quite hurt so bad anymore. Keep up moving every day, and let every sunrise be a new day pushing out the path from the day before. We cannot choose how anyone else acts or behaves, but we can choose how we deal with it. We choose what to feed our brains with, and we choose the type of person we want to be. Never give up on yourself because God will never give up on you. Keep pushing forward and always remember God first, everyone else second. Work on your relationship with God. Study scripture in your times of troubles. Look up the story of Job, the story of Jeremiah, and even the early story of David. Each of these individuals had challenges, and struggles, and in their individual ways, they found how to receive the blessings from God. Remaining faithful and trusting in the Lord is the best thing you can do. It won’t be easy, but every day will be the best attempt you can give. Don’t loose sight of the end, and never feel you are a failure. We all fall, but the true measure of a person is how you get back up. Always get back up and keep marching on. Don’t allow your strength to fail, and certainly don’t turn away from God. Know your enemy and it isn’t the Lord. Remember in all times people are sinners and will eventually let you down. Pray for them, and don’t stop loving them. As for me, my ex made some awful hurtful decisions, but I refuse to hold a grudge. Apologies have been said, and olive branches extended. Love concures hate every time. Living in peace and love is a choice. Krystal may no longer be my wife, but never will I give up on someone who made such an impact in my life. Forgiveness isn’t a suggestion, and if we can live in peace, we should. Be big enough to pray for those who hurt you, and help by always being a light in the darkness.

 

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God Are You There?

God Are You There?

Have you ever prayed and wondered if your prayers are being heard? In my life I’ve wondered just that. Scripture tells us that God hears every thought, every whisper, every cry, and angry outburst, but sometimes it’s felt as if my pleas have landed on deaf ears. I’ve been down to the woodshed more times at the receiving end of life’s cruel lessons. I’ve been beaten, betrayed, and kicked while I was down. Through it all I’ve prayed, and still I was burdened with shackles of pain and suffering. I have called upon my Heavenly father time and time again, and I have waited for an absolution, sometimes that would never come.

I have walked a long way, and still I have struggled from time to time to trust in where God leads me. I feel as if I’m lead into the valley more often then I am peaceful streams, or green pastures. I have tried to live a life as a sinner in a world where I would still make Abba proud of me. I have prayed for many years for the blessings in my heart, and yet still to this day I am missing desires. I turn to scripture in my time of need in hopes to find what I seek. James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”We must have trust in the Lord that despite our shortcomings, and despite the hardships we face, the Lord our God is always by our side. 2 Chronicles 7:14“if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” God will bless us, but first we need to realize how important that open door relationship is.

God is not first and foremost a cosmic genie for our amusement. God is not a universal Santa Clause to give us the gifts of our hearts whenever we ask for them. God is our father, our creator, and should be treated as such. God answers to no one, and we are but a speck of infinitesimal dust to God. God loves us, but we must first open the door. When we are frustrated, scared, or hurting it’s almost a normal reaction to turn to God, but how often do we as a people pray when things are good? How often do we pray to praise and worship our Lord, in times of celebration? “How am I supposed to show love for somebody, over and over and over, who constantly rejects me?”(Fireproof) Is the cross offensive to us? Do we truly understand the Lord and the sacrifice made of us? I understand what was done for me, and I still struggle some days. God is always there waiting for us, but it’s hard sometimes for God to help us when we don’t want His help. We are stubborn, we are ungrateful, and we rarely show God the gratitude of a people that has been given life itself.

We expect God to be there for us in our times of crises but we reject him every other day of the year. We expect God to grant us our selfish desires, our prayers, which we pray for the wrong reasons. Luke 18:1“And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart.” We must not loose heart for the Lord to hear us when we pray for the right reasons. We must not be selfish in our lives, but servants of Christ. We must try to be pure of heart, and when we come to allow Jesus into our hearts, then, the Lord will be there to bless us for our hard works in his name. It’s not about how much we put into a plate, or how many times we go to the homeless shelter, it’s the reasons we do it. Are we doing it to try to rack up cosmic brownie points, or do we do it because we are truly called to do so? Pray and be faithful to the Lord, and never loose heart. Pray and be heard when you remove yourself and let God in. James talks about praying with the wrong motives and how dangerous it can be. We must turn to God every day in the storm, in the celebration, in the sun or in the snow. Pray because as Jesus commended his Spirit to the Lord for us, we should be on our knees in gratitude because we would be nothing but walking dead had Jesus not given his blood for us. God’s there, and He’s listening, but are you asking the right questions? God’s always there for us, but are we letting God into our hearts? It’s a choice we must make, and when God calls upon us, do we look at the number and decide to ignore the phone? I’d be willing to guess, most people do. Imagine how much better this world would be if we would take a moment and let God speak to us. The choice is yours though, the power of free will says you don’t have to listen to God at all, but what an opportunity you’re missing out on. Pick up the phone, and listen when God calls.

 

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Dishonor

Dishonor

“Dishonor, dishonor on your whole family, dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!” (Mulon) We are brothers and sisters in the blood of Christ. We represent our beliefs every minute of every day. We are ambassadors of our Lord and Savior, and yet we go out and party and act a fool. We leave home and especially when we leave church we are completely different people. When we are at work, or with friends at the bar and being cruel drunkards, the question can be asked, ‘aren’t you a Christian, a follower of Christ?’ our response should really be ‘Christ who?’ It’s sad, but true. Do we truly walk in Christ everywhere we go, or just act like we should when it’s to put up a good front?

We use God as our cosmic 911. We call to God when our life falls apart. We expect God to fix our lives and save us from our trials. We have the blessings of free will, but how do we use it? In our country we have a promise, “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” Have you ever thought about what this really means? The promise of this country is two main points and one that is put on the individual. While we are free from persecution, we are able to protect our life, and our liberties, but while all will pursue happiness, some will never find it. Some of course will, but we must truly understand where happiness comes from. We are given a chance to pursue Christ, and enjoy the gifts of Heaven, but while many will come to the Father on the Day of Judgment, many will never enter and enjoy the true nature of happiness. Heaven is obtainable, but not for everyone.

When we don’t act like Christians we dishonor ourselves. When we make questionable decisions we bring dishonor on the name Christian. When we behave badly we bring dishonor on all of our brothers and sisters in Christ. Our brothers and sisters in the Lord are family. We are eternally bound by the blood of Christ, and yet, we are so selfish and narcissistic we think our actions affect no one but ourselves. That’s a lie straight from Hell. For every bad decision we make in the public eye, anyone who knows we are a Christian it hurts our witness. We can drive people away from Christianity by the way we act. We all act upright and proper in church but feel once we take off the tie, remove the church dress, we are taking the party animal, the sin nature out of the cage, and let it go wild. How we treat others, the language we use, the activity we take part in, all represents who we are inside. As Batman once said, “It’s not who I am underneath, it’s what I do that defines me.”What we do is a mirror of what’s on the inside though. Yes our actions are what defines us, but what drives us? If we are truly living in Christ we shouldn’t want to behave poorly. We should respect that salvation enough to try to avoid sin. We are all sinners and there’s no changing that, but it doesn’t mean we have to engage in sinful activities freely. We will be made to answer for our sins, and we can rest assured we won’t like the consequences.

2 Corinthians 5:10“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things [done] in [his] body, according to that he hath done, whether [it be] good or bad.” If not even the Angels from Heaven received a reprieve for their actions, what do you think will happen to you, if you blatantly sin thinking there are no consequences? 2 Peter 2:9 “The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished:” We will all have to give an account of our sins. Will we admit to our sinful ways and ask for forgiveness, or will we argue and make excuses? God knows our hearts, we cannot hide anything.

 

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Beauty with Thorns

Beauty with Thorns

One thing I’ve seen in my day, but especially in the last two years is sometimes the prettiest of faces has the darkest of hearts. There are so many average to below average ‘beautiful’ people in this world because true beauty lies beneath the surface. As society has grown we’ve become consumed with self image. We’ve become a nation, a race of shallow, self absorbed, egotists, that cares more about looks and self, then anything else.

The rose is considered by many to be the most beautiful flower on the planet. In fact the rose is the flower of love. As beautiful as it is, it can also be dangerous. While on the surface a rose is beautiful and a rose bush is magnificent but if you look further down beneath the surface a substantial about of razor sharp thorns. If you were to fall into a rose bush you would undoubtedly come up with a plethora of cuts. Just because something looks beautiful on the surface doesn’t mean it doesn’t have thorns.

As an average looking man trying to find a serious relationship, I have encountered obstacles I never would have dreamt of. As the venue for meeting people still ranks highest through mutual parties, that is largely based on your own number of friends. The second way most often used sounds like it should be easy to meet people, but there in lies the pitfall. Friends must have friends who are single. Friends must also be plentiful and if either of those isn’t the case, using relationships may be difficult. Social online dating apps highlight one thing in particular, your photo. Sadly that means the decision to go forward starts with a physical attraction. In order to get to the meat of the profile a decision is made based on the cover of the book. We are in a swipe left or right generation and guys like me get passed over. It’s getting harder and harder as the clock ticks by to stand by and feel helpless to change anything. This period of my life has tested my endurance, but not of my faith in God, but my hope to a brighter future. This has tested my own self-confidence, and I can say with certainty my self-esteem has been damaged in these two years.

We know that faith in all things belonging to the Lord takes endurance. The true test comes in times like these when we are made to wait. The trial continues and perhaps one day, hopefully soon, the tide will turn and instead of endurance, a message of praise and celebration will cross this page. Hope remains as the trust in Jesus is strong. Constant prayer and study have kept my course true. Though I tire, the love of Jesus renews my faith. Stay strong and lean on the Lord when you are tired.

People will judge you before getting to know you because that’s what people do. First impressions are important because you can never go back and try again. Sometimes you can redeem a first impression, but rarely. It’s important to know that your impression as a Christian is at the utmost importance. We must be beautiful people in Christ and we must allow our actions to speak for themselves. 1 Peter 4:4“Of course, your former friends are surprised when you no longer plunge into the flood of wild and destructive things they do. So they slander you.” Don’t let people of your past force you to change who you are. You may not be the most attractive person, but don’t allow peoples negative opinions force you into situations that would not be becoming of a Christian. We may want to compensate for average looks by trying to find other ways to please the Lord. I present you a caution of changing and how far you take that change. Galatians 1:10 “Am I saying this now to win the approval of people or God? Am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant.” As far as other people are concerned. John 7:24“Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.” We should never be most concerned with the looks of something, but the inside of their heart. While yes attraction matters, do not let that consume you. Our society has placed so much emphasis on what beauty is, and it has changed our thought perception along the way.

We are warned in scripture about judging by the clothes people wear, or how they look. Even though the warnings are so clear, we fail to live up to scripture, and I would go as far to say we are sinners in our judgments. 1 Samuel 16:7“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” The Lord looks into our hearts and sees the wickedness that rests within. The Lord knows every dark or evil thought we’ve ever had. We must do better at how we treat others, and how we represent ourselves. Looks aren’t everything, and sadly, it’s hard to overcome the world, but we must try.

James 2:1-5“My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him?”Good things come in all shapes and sizes but is it good, or just look good? Be careful of the golden goose that may bring misery and not fortune. 2 Peter 2:1“But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction.”

 

Patiently Waiting

 

Patiently Waiting

When Change happens unexpectedly we don’t always understand why. We can’t always see the reason for it, and we can only hope and lean back on faith to except what’s happened. We see in scripture over and over how patience is rewarded. We see the need to trust in God’s plan. We see in Galatians 4:21-22 the author is talking about the repercussions of not following the plan God lays out for us. Abraham was told he would sire children, but as his age increased he became more and more skeptical. He became impatient and took his wife hand madden into his bedchamber and she became pregnant. His actions once outside the will of God had dire consequences that have shaped the known world as we see it today. Eventually he would fall back to God and the promise made to him was kept. Him and his wife did have children.

As it seems opportunities come into my life and leave just as abruptly, it’s a hard life longing for something so deeply and being told by god the time isn’t right. Watching as people come and go and yet as much as it pains me to see them leave, I am not and have always been powerless to stop it. As the rising tide of the flood comes it’s inevitable and we cannot stop it. We are powerless to stop the approaching tornado and the destruction left in it’s wake. We are told the trials would come and to be prepared for them. As I’ve noted there is a difference in training and then the actual mission. Before every mission we had a brief but rarely did the mission go exactly according to plan. We always had to adapt and overcome. We train to know how to react when the plan flies off the rails. Often time disaster strikes when we loose our patience and act impulsively. Life is not a sprint, yet in our time, everyone is in a hurry to get everywhere. We always want everything right away. The problem with patience is when you’re forced to play the long game, it can feel like an eternity when it’s something you desire most.

I’d say one of the hardest moments is when you know something wonderful has come into your life, and when the Devil destroys that hope. For me it feels like the Devil’s games have been never ending and designed to break my hope and my spirits. I won’t lie, the latest attack has taken a horrible toll for me. Just when life seemed to be turning around, and hope seemed stronger then it’s been in over a year, the Devil’s whispers, and fear caused a cascade failure, and everything went like Chernobyl. Sadly the Devil is meddling in my life and just won’t let me have any peace. Philippians 4:6-7 “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” It’s been difficult for me to follow what I know to be true. The pain left from disappointment is so strong, it’s hard to remain focused on the big picture, and remember that God’s still in control, and his will, will be done, and eventually it’ll work out. Philippians 4:11-14 “11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me. 14 Yet it was kind of you to share[a] my trouble.” Paul knows the difficult road some of us were bound to endure. In his ministry he saw his on share of hardships from beatings, to shipwrecks, to what’s likely a physical ailment that plagued him for a long time. In all things though, and in all areas of his travels, and through all the hardships, he writes that he has found peace in knowing God is still in control, and nothing in this life can remove his salvation in the blood of Jesus Christ.

We must remember even in our impatience a Thanksgiving turkey will not cook faster because we try to will it to happen. The best things in life often take longer to have. We can try to speed up the process, but if we try to go against God’s plan or his wish for us, what we obtain will undoubtedly fail us. The pursuit to contentment starts with faith, prayer, and learning to live more in the moment and take your gaze away from tomorrow.

My Heavenly father, as I watch in disappointment at yet another failure, I lift my plea to you. Please look into my heart and if it be your will, please show me the path to get what I desire most. I have suffered much, and long, and I pray to you to remove this thorn from my side. Please help my broken heart mend, and provide me the courage and strength to keep up the fire, to face another day as I struggle with shame and guilt. My God please hear my prayer and rescue me from the darkness of despair. In your Holy Name, Amen.

Old Ways

Old Ways

They say people don’t ever truly change. They say if there’s any change is superficial and they go back to what they were before. They say only true change occurs at the precipice when there is no other choice but to parish or change. In my life I’ve had friends, I’ve had loved ones that had some bad habits and over time, it seemed they changed and life was good. Sadly though, when a tragedy happens, even a small one, it can trigger a relapse. We all have trouble, and we all have struggles but in those times we must lean on our Christian Brothers and Sisters. We are not bound to this Earth to venture off alone. We are given people to count on, to believe in, to help bare the burdens that are too heavy for us.

 

In our sins it can feel heavy, it can feel overwhelming, but it’s in those times we must dig deep and pull some faith from the reserve tanks. We must grow and though it’s a struggle, we have to grow beyond our sins. It’s not an easy thing, but we must. Vigilance is the key to facing our past. We must remain watchful for the traps laid by the deceiver himself, and in those traps we must keep our attention on the only place that truly matters, and that’s scripture. We must learn scripture, and mold it into our hearts. To do this study is the most important thing we can do. We must realize that the word is the sword against the enemy. The Armor of God Ephesians 6:10-18 lays out the full symbolism of the word, but much like anything else, if you don’t know how to use it, it won’t work for you. You must study, and grow, and have communication with God. Prayer is so important to open your heart to God. We must learn to talk to Abba like a father. We must not fear how we approach God because he knows the content of your heart. You need to trust in Him and have a relationship with Him.

 

How can we stop from going back to our old habits? We must allow ourselves to let the old sinful self burn away. When you turn to God “you gotta burn your old self away!” (Hard Love: Needtobreathe) The song hard love is perfect when it comes to describing the true change. The path of Christ isn’t easy, and we know from scripture the warning comes before the spell. We know that before the blood of Christ washed over the world, we were warned of the hardships and trials that would come to Christians. The promise however of salvation as an end to eternal Hell would come as a cost. We must allow the sinful selves be burned away in the fire of the Holy Spirit and when we are reborn in Christ the old ways should largely be repugnant. Sure there will be days when the old self pokes through, but in those days, pray to Father and find the strength to carry forward. Find a friend in Christ and lean on them to help. Your old habits may creep in from time to time, but as long as you stay focused, as long as you know where your heart is, and you have a support group to keep and hold you accountable, you can avoid returning to your old ways. Be careful though, Satan wants you to stumble and fall back into sin. The Devil wants you to forsake your heart for the fake joys of this world. Galatians 4:8-11“8 Formerly, when you did not know God, you were enslaved to those that by nature are not gods. 9 But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more? 10 You observe days and months and seasons and years! 11 I am afraid I may have labored over you in vain.” Paul knew that his brothers had fallen back into old ways and started preaching the Jesus plus one approach. You need Jesus, but you also need to do just one more thing. For many people this thing is whatever pulls on their heart. It’s important to remember that Love God with all your heart, and love your neighbors. Let your old self burn away, and rise from the ashes a phoenix. Reverting back into your old life is making a choice. You choose the person you want to be, but that is of course is assuming you have any will power at all. If you are weak, and foolish, your old habits will come back and you will have failed to learn any kind of lesson thus you will be doomed to repeat it.

Giving Yourself Away

Giving Yourself Away

It starts of small, just once, just a little bit, and that’s when it takes hold. We give up one small piece of our principles, and then another, and before long the black and white becomes gray. The fall doesn’t always happen quickly, sometimes it’s a slow moving enemy that creeps along scrapping at your heart a little at a time.

We often stand on our principles determined not to give in to temptations of this fallen world. We see the fall happening all around us. We see public figures from government to Hollywood getting caught with their principles around their ankles. We see politicians accepting bribes, actors turning to drugs and more and more sex candles rock the new like never before. We have watched as our nation endures the slow fade in what is now accepted on this earth and ignoring the once proud biblical principles we once stood strong on.

We face temptations and the first time we tell ourselves ‘It’s okay, just this once.” We have taken the step into the quicksand. Sin can be described many different ways. Sometimes a major event can alter perceptions, but I like to think those circumstances are more rare. I think sin is more like boiling a frog. The water is cool when the frog is dropped in so the frog doesn’t notice anything is wrong. As the water heats (as sing grows and spreads) by the time the frog realizes anything is wrong it’s too late, the damage is done. (We find ourselves buried under the mound of sin.)

So many marriages that end due to affairs you see the near identical timelines. “It started off very innocent and we were just friends.” The slow draw of sinful lust can creep in untamed yet slowly as to not draw attention to the danger ahead. Most affairs could be snuffed out with a single choice to walk away. The little steps that make the right and wrong to an ambivalence for those their actions may affect. The truth is sin attacks at each of our hearts differently. The choices we made “there’s a price to be paid, people never crumble in a day.”(Slow Fade, Third Day)

I’ve lived with a broken heart twice as I’ve seen thoughts betray a promise made but not kept. I’ve watched the life I had crumble away. The heart was betrayed, lied to by desire, fooled by lust, and choices made destroyed so much more then a home. I’ve seen drugs take hold of people’s lives with the lies and promises that the substance make them feel better. But eventually the affects of the drugs wear off and more is needed. Then more, and before you know it you’re chasing one high to the next unable and unwilling to handle life. What seemed benign at first slowly turned to tear down the walls of everything you held most dear.

Do now allow the darkness to grab hold. Don’t allow yourself to fall victim to the thoughts that pull you away from Christ. Once down the dark path though hope is never lost, you don’t want the veiled promises. You can’t trust the lies, the whispers from the Devil. The price paid for the retched path is high. “The bill comes due, always.” (Dr. Strange) We don’t need to face those horrible consequences if we stay on the path laid out by Christ. Turn away form lies, and turn away from adultery. Stay away from hate, and don’t give into the fear. We must learn to praise God in the sun, or the rain. We must pray joy, peace, love, but if there’s a storm we must we must pray that no matter where we find ourselves we do it all for the glory of God.

God shines down from heaven today, and no matter what your situation is on this day, raise your hands to the sky, praise Jesus for the life we have. Find hope that the storm will settle, or the meadow is peaceful. Wherever the road takes you today, trust and praise Jesus. While you draw breath there is always hope. Never give up hope on God for the calm waters might be just around the river bend.

My God

My God

I just wanted to take a moment to tell people about me. As many of you may or may not know, I have experienced a great many tragedies in my life. I’m not a perfect man, and I’ve struggled sometimes. I have watched as those I loved the most betrayed me, turned on me, and followed the ways of lust, anger, and hate. No matter the pain I’ve experienced being in the military, or in my childhood, and now into my adulthood, the thing I’ve tried to do is not let anger and hate flood into my heart. I’ve been seen through the storm time and time again. I’m alive, and I continue to breathe even though I should have died from a gun shot wound a year and a half ago. I have suffered a great many times, but in all of that suffering I have found peace in knowing God is still with me, still in control, and knowing that Jesus friend of man, savior and the defeater over death, is holding my hand walking with me.

Many people have scoffed at my belief, but I have felt the presence, heard the voice, and lived when I should have died. My God is faithful and has never abandoned me. Who am I to deserve this kind of grace and mercy? I am no one, my works are trash, my mistakes are many, my sins run deep, and yet through it all, God’s grace and love have never stopped flowing towards me. Every day I walk in the Lord I hope to be better then I was the day before. Every day I walk in the Lord I need to ask for guidance, and forgiveness. Every day I struggle with sin, and I struggle with my own wants in life. Every day for a while now I struggle with loneliness, and I wish for companionship. My God tells me to be patient and trust in his plan for me. Some day I don’t know which way to go, and some days I don’t think I can make it through, but when I feel lost, I close my eyes, and I focus on getting back to God. The path to darkness is slow and can go unnoticed, but those who give themselves to the evil ways of sin, make choices and the price to be paid is high. Because I’m not willing to pay that price, I’m not willing to wait around for that bill to be due, I turn back to Christ everyday, who waits for me, who accepts me with open arms, and I know that my sins are washed away.

Jesus changes my life every day. Even when I feel lost and saddened by my day, I know that Jesus is there with me. Even when I feel low and depressed, knowing that Jesus is with me helps. I may never know or understand why I have been forced to go through some of my struggles, or endured some of my heartbreak, but I trust my God. Everything I go through I learn from. Every struggle I’ve faced has prepared me for the battles I will face tomorrow. Every lesson we experience is an opportunity to take something positive away from it. We must go into each challenge with an open mind and an expectation that life won’t always be what we want. Life won’t always be easy, but my God promises me that my struggles won’t be in vein. My God promises me this suffering is only but a fleeting moment in the path towards eternity. I shall live my life and then as dust to dust my body shall parish, but my soul will ascend into heaven and I will sit with Jesus. My suffering today is nothing compared to what will happen if I don’t trust in the Lord. Jesus said I am the way the truth and the light, no one gets to the father except through me. Where is your heart, as for me, I trust in the Lord.