Tag: jesus christ

Can Anybody Find Me Somebody To Love

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Can Anybody Find Me Somebody To Love

It’s been two years since my love walked away. In the two years since I have found myself on a roller coaster of emotions during that time. I never would have dreamed two years later I’d still be alone, and fundamentally still looking for as I once put it, my Black Canary. https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2017/08/26/finding-my-black-canary/ I have thought long and hard about what I want in my life, and as potential sprouts up, what is it I am willing to give up, or what do I hold on too? There are so many questions that revolve through my head it’s sometimes hard to quiet the noise. No matter the people who’ve come and gone in my life, I have tried to maintain hope that this isn’t a permanent situation I have found myself in. Though the reality is harder to see, the emotions run wild. I have often questioned God, why is this happening to me? Then I often ask, why are you keeping this from me? It’s easy to ask question when you’re hurting, but perhaps the right question is what can I learn from this situation?

Going into my third Christmas now without someone special in my life has caused a landslide of emotions. Watching those around me have babies, and get married, celebrate anniversaries, and go on trips with the person they love, has made me feel envious. People have come and gone in my life, but I haven’t quite seemed to make much of an impression on anyone, and if I had, it was one of “let me run away from that guy”. I don’t understand what has happened to me, but as the feelings of loneliness seemed to have made a permanent residence in my mind, I now am trying to find ways to fight back.

I need to fight back against the lies that I’m hearing. The enemy has infiltrated my defenses and I have to now fight from within. The darkness fills my heart, and self-doubt, shame, hopelessness, and anger poison the thoughts that come. The whispers in the dark that have left me on the ground feeling cold and alone. It’s time I turn the fight around, and find a way to use the enemies attacks for my benefit. I know that right now I’m pretty low on the inside, and although I think I’ve gotten pretty good at creating a solid mask for the world to see, I don’t know how long I can maintain such a level of subterfuge.

The plan is to lift praises to the one who can change everything. I praise the Lord in this season of drought because God is good always. I praise Jesus Christ for the love shown to me every day, and without fail. I have many feelings that keep me down, but my joy still remains. I may not be happy, but I have joy in Christ. I do not want to be defined by the wreckage of my past. I am a child of the King and I’ve been saved, so while I may not have a lady in my life I do have love. I have been set free of my chains, and I must realize that the Lord over all creation knows my name. The Lord loves me because of who I am, not what I’ve done. The Lord loves me because I’m His child, and though I don’t have a special someone, I am a soldier for Christ, I am a warrior for God, and I will hold fast to the mission. The Lord catches me when I’m falling, heals me when I’m broken, and comforts me when I’m sad. Psalm 34:17-20 (NKJV)17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles.18 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as [a]have a contrite spirit.19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all. 20 He guards all his bones; Not one of them is broken.”

So, when it comes to finding somebody to love, I have Jesus Christ. I cannot sit in my own sorrows. I know that someday I will be given the gift of love in this life again. God will give me the answers to my prayers when the time is right. This life is cold and cruel, and the world teaches us to fend for ourselves, to care little for others, and look out for number one. We are taught something different in scripture though and that’s to love your neighbors. We are taught to love all, love your enemy, pray for everyone, and be a servant. We are told to live in this world but never to conform to it. I may be wounded but I’m not down. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9(NKJV) 8 “We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed”

I pray to God that maybe this holiday I am not alone, and maybe things are starting to change. There might be a change of season approaching, and having faith in the possibility as I keep an open mind, and try to ask what God wants me to do. I’m not a perfect man, but I try to live as Christ would want me to, and I look to the future in hopes I am following the right path. I know I’m not truly alone as long as I know God is with me. My heart desires more, but I trust in God’s plan, and I try to remain patient. God knows, and I will trust in the Lord.

 

 

Thank You For The Storm

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Thank You For The Storm

James 1:2-5“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

It’s hard thinking about thanking God when you find yourself in tough times. It’s hard to think about praising God for the storm. It’s hard trying to be content in any situation you find yourself. When the world leaves you high and dry it’s time to come to the everlasting well. Jesus Christ is the perfect Lamb of God. Jesus Christ is the living water that washes away the stains that we hold on our souls. It’s time to stand at the top of the mountain and leave all your pain, worry, and anxiety behind. We are weary and we struggle to make that climb, but putting your focus on God instead of the pain help to keep you moving. We are trapped in our prisons. We keep ourselves from rising to our own potential. I have often minimized my own value, and because of that, I kept myself down in the storm, instead of learning to rise above the clouds. Storms are an interesting thing, from the ground you see nothing but the clouds and darkness, but if you rise above, the skies are crisp, and the sun is still shining. How often do we think about God like that in the middle of the horrible situations we may find ourselves? No matter what we find ourselves in God is still above the storm and still making things better since the dawn of time.

I stand here realizing I am in need of prayer. I realize I need to give thanks to a God that loves me so much that for me and my dirty self, I have been washed clean. I often struggle no with external forces, but the internal storm that breaks me down. I often feel empty inside and sometimes wonder why God continues to waist His time on me. I often feel like the clouds rumble as they churn, and smash together causing a storm to rage on. Who am I without God? Who am I to try and walk in this world blind, stumbling around in the darkness? Without God I am dead inside. Could the walls be falling down all around me and still praise the Lord of all? If I try to make my way without the Lord I realize that life is nothing, and death has already found me. I breath, I see, I hear, and I step foot down to solid ground. The light shines into my heart, and living, living is not for the weak. It takes strength to live, strength that sadly so many loose. I have witnessed suicide so often, so many succumb to the demons inside that I cannot help but feel broken deep down. See, the crucible of my own life has made me understand the need to praising God because as much as I may hurt, I know that in an instant things can change.

There was a man from the land of Uz. This man was a Holy man loved by God as the most loyal of all God’s children. Job would face s storm so devastating he would loose his entire family, his entire farm, all his livestock, his health, and his friends would turn on him. If you stop there the story is awful, but Job continued to praise the Lord and refused to curse God. Job showed himself loyal, and a true soldier for the Lord. I have seen evil, and I’ve seen the Devil on the road, but I am free now where I am because I have faced my fear, and I know that I am survived all of that to be here where I am now, serving God. Had it not been for the troubles I’ve faced, I wouldn’t know what all I could take. We don’t curse our teachers for teaching us spelling, or math, or history, we accept school, and what we have to learn. We may not always like it, but we do it. Why then when life tests us we cry like big babies throwing tantrums? Are we not to be tested of the spirit by testing and tempting the flesh? We don’t have to like the trials we face, but would you rather face trials in this life, or be found guilty in the final trial doomed to a real Hell? The choice is simple if you ask me, suffer a little now to live in perfection, rather then live a little more comfortable now doomed to suffer for eternity. It’s not hard when you consider the big picture, we praise God now for helping us realize our true potential, and the true grace and mercy that is Jesus Christ. So, thank you Jesus for the storm, and seeing me through. Forgive me of my shortcomings, and protect me against the attacks of the Devil and this world. Show me mercy and grace when it suits you, but test me when you must. The day will come when I shall give up the ghost, and I know I shall bow before the cross and I pray I would have been pleasing to you my Lord. I pray my mistakes be few and my successes be many. My God you are big and I am not, you are strong and I am weak. My God you are everything and I submit to your authority and let go of myself. Please continue to show me a way through the storm and I shall try daily to be better tomorrow then I am today. Real faith is belief without borders

Where Were You?

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Where were you?

Where were you my God when I was all-alone, and scared? Where were you when I was being bullied at school every day? Where were you when I needed you? Where were you when my ex-wife was having an affair while my grandfather was dying? Where were you when my second wife was sleeping with another man while I was at home waiting? Where were you all those years I prayed for you feeling alone? I spent so many years crying in my bed for you, and as much as I wanted to feel you, I wouldn’t feel for years and years. Where were you God when I needed you the most in my life, did you sit back and watch unwilling to intervene in my life? I didn’t understand back then and even struggle now to see what the purpose was. I feel like there’s a monster within me screaming to get out. I feel dark, and I’m afraid of what lives inside me. I sometimes struggle with my faith, and when the night comes and the loneliness creeps in I just hope to make it through another night when I’m in dark times. My faith is sometimes hard to find when I can’t see your purpose, or feel your presence.

I’m sure many have felt this way before. I’m sure some of you feel that way right now. The truth is, I think a crisis in faith is something many go through. I think when you live through trials and troubles over and over it’s easy to become lost. The Lord tells us not to be afraid, do not be dismayed. Isaiah 41:10 (NKJV)10 “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’”I can’t say I am always comforted by scripture, but often then not, I read to remind myself of the truth. Deuteronomy 31:6 (NKJV) 6 “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” Our emotions aren’t always accurate to the truth of a situation. It’s easy to forget that we aren’t ever alone because Satan wants us to feel cut off from God. It’s easy to fall into despair because the world tells us it’s “fend for yourself”. While this isn’t necessarily wrong, and this world will not help you in times of trouble most of the time, Christian brothers and sisters will. We are told to live in the world, but not be conformed to it. God has been with us every day so far, and will continue to be with us every day going forward.

If you start to look into your life and question where God’s been, I ask, are you truly willing to open the door to let God in? How willing have you been to help yourself? God will never send you into the lions den to fend for yourself without giving you the tools needed to face the challenge. There are forces at work all around us, forces of evil trying to destroy you, and forces of good that are trying to protect you. The world would have you believe it’s just a cruel place, and that there is no good reason bad things happen to good people. The world wants you to think that if God was good bad things wouldn’t happen. The world would have you blame God for being in an abusive relationship. I’ve heard it before, “if God were good why would he let my husband abuse me physically and emotionally.” While this is certainly sad, one might make the argument that it’s choice to stay. I’m not talking about divorce, but I am talking about removing yourself from harm. We want to blame God for being subjected to things, but how often do we remain by choice? How often do we tell those around us that we have no choice? I say this; there is always a choice. We don’t like to make choices we can’t see how everything will work out. We want to avoid the unknown, and we are willing to brave the fire in spite of the open ocean. We cannot ask where God is when we elect to stay in a place God isn’t welcomed. I have seen this meme over and over again after a school shooting, “Where was God?” and under God’s reply “I’m not allowed in school.” Do we do the same thing in our own homes? Do we ask where God is during the year in between Easter and Christmas when you haven’t been to a service once? Are we doing any Bible study at home, or is our Bible dusty from Sunday through Sunday? We must understand that though God is always with us, he doesn’t force his will upon us. We have to choose to want him in our lives, and it doesn’t work if we only want God around when we need a miracle or because we need a ‘Get out of jail free” card.

Instead of asking where was God, I ask where are you? Are you walk with God every day or just when it’s convenient? Are you looking like a Christian every day of the week or just the few hours on Sunday at church? If you want to know where God is, or has been, it’s time to ask yourself where you’ve been walking. If you you’re walking along the path and you aren’t sure where God is, check the bottom of your shoes. You may have very well been walking in the poo and wonder why your life stinks. It’s a hard truth, but one we must all face at some point. Being a Christian doesn’t mean it’s all sunshine and roses, on the contrary we are told we will face trials, troubles, and persecution under the name of Christ. It’s in these trials however we are pushed and tested, and often we can either draw closer to God, or allow the world to win the battle? When things are going bad, and things seem hopeless, your place should be in prayer with God, and in church. It’s time to open the doors, and let God in, not just when things go bad, but all the time.

 

 

I don’t Have Time to Beef With You

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I don’t Have Time to Beef With You

I’m dealing with my own demons. Don’t pick a fight with me, Satan that means you. I have suffered long, and wondered why. I have struggled over the years wondering what I was going to do with the pain and anger I had pent up for over two decades. I started to realize recently that I had been living my life a certain way, and I wasn’t treating myself with very much respect. I think when you allow people to treat you a certain way, and when you allow people to disrespect you, shame on them for what they do, but when you allow them to do it shame on you. I was disrespecting myself by standing by and watching the cycle repeat over and over again. Now I look around me and I start to question where I stand with others, but I find I no longer want to fight what I believe is to be a loosing battle. I do not want to split my time by trying to keep alive what I should probably let die.

 

I cannot say for certain what exactly I’m meant to learn in this season, but if I had to take a guess I’m meant to be more fruitful with my time. If time is a resource and if I’ve been wasting it on others, it begs to reason God is removing my distractions from my life by force since I seemed unwilling to do that on my own. Regardless of the purpose I have found I no longer feel the drive to turn my attention to those that willfully disregard my feelings. Romans 8:28 ESV“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

 

I know that Satan has been coming and going for a while in my life, and has been causing many negative feelings, and doubts. I have decided I do not want to feel the way I do anymore. I find myself hurt and sometimes angry with those whom I gave my love and affection, my attention, and my time, when I didn’t get the same in turn. I know that a part of me is angry, but I know scripture tells me to put those feelings away, to get rid of them with hatred of the negative feelings. Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Struggling is a natural thing for us sinful creatures, but we must continue to work on our feelings, and to try and rid ourselves of bitterness, wrath, and anger. I will not be baited into a beef with Satan, or anyone else for that matter. I will follow the Lord, and if someone doesn’t like who I’ve become, or cannot support me in my endeavors, I will walk away, and pray for those who choose to walk away from me. Time will tell who is left when the dust settles.

My Care Factor

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My Care Factor

If you don’t like the truth that’s not my fault. I didn’t choose the rules, or do I pretend to understand why, but the evidence is tallied up and it’s undeniable. The anger that has filled this world and the attacks that fly in the dark, guess what, I’m not getting into the ring with you anymore. I’m not going to be your punching bag all because you can’t handle your own life. I am sick and tired of being the bag and I’m not going to continue to duct tape my leaks. I’m going to move on and pray for the souls of the lost. Hatred, anger, even ignorance isn’t an excuse, and I’m not going to allow you to sit in my life and say my faith is “B**********”. I’m not going to allow someone to disrespect my faith and think that’s ever okay. I have far too much respect for God then to sit back and be okay with that. I didn’t write the rules; I didn’t decide what was okay, and what wasn’t. I won’t allow myself to give up. I won’t allow my night to fade away without fighting back. I will stand and fight, and no matter the chains I’m tied in, I will push myself harder, I will push myself farther, and my God is my faith, my strength, my joy, and no one can steal that from me. When my care factor runs to empty, my Lord restore my cup, fill my chalice till it overflows, for you are great, you are holy, and I am your faithful servant.

As I’ve been considering my position in this life I am realizing I’ve allowed people to sit in it, and talk to me however they want, and I overlook it. I am a human being and I have feelings. I sit here looking at my life and realizing “I would rather stand with God and be judged by the world, than to stand with the world, and be judged by God” It can be a lonely place dealing with the fallout, but as I have come to understand what’s going on in my life, a wildfire purge has started and though I don’t know when it’ll end, I have to have faith that the ground will be fertile and spring forth new relationships, and they will flourish. Romans 12:2 (NKJV)2 “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Trusting in the Lord and having faith that all things will work out and people are always going to fail you is something one cannot forget. Scripture is clear about putting your faith in the hands of man.

Knowing the reality of this world and facing the real consequences are two different things. The cuts come deep when feelings are dismissed, when words are thrown, and you are no longer a person, but something expendable. I feel lost and discouraged, and I try to shut my feelings off but they come and come, and I face the day one moment at a time. I know God is good to me, and as my frustrations boil over, I trust that God has plans for this time. I will not allow this world to defeat me. I will not back down, and I will say goodbye to any who things I can be disrespected and do nothing. I will not be that person any longer. I will have respect for myself for the first time in my life. I will hold myself higher because no one else will. Today I am weak, but I know I will overcome. I have God on my side, and I will fight these demons that rise up against me.

If you have people who come to use you, to treat you as a punching bag, to only take parts of you and ignore others, then it’s time to set healthy boundaries. It’s time to have respect for yourself, and treat yourself better by not allowing yourself to be beaten down by others. I have open wounds and one by one salt is poured in. I call to my Father to save me, to deliver me from the evil that surrounds me. I call upon my Lord to strengthen me, to show me the sun in the darkness. I will not give in because I have a reason to fight. The darkness will fall and I must wait for the third day for the sun to rise on the East. Things are changing all around me, and I am not sure what to expect tomorrow. As I say goodbye, I know that my Father will never say goodbye to me. The exodus continues, as God has started the wildfire burning down the old. Faith, is all I have.

A Line In The Dark

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A Line In The Dark

My God, I know you’re near, but I struggle to feel you. My God, I need a hero today, to come into my heart and show me the way, and to save me today. My God you hear me in the night, you know my heart, and you see my tears. I stain the pillow and I wrap it around my face to muffle my scream. I feel so much I can’t bottle it up anymore. So long I hid away the deepest feelings of my heart, and one day they exploded in a moment of weakness. I don’t know how to manage today with so much bubbling up. I know you’re there, but I feel lost in my own night. I sense the evil around me, circling like a pack of hyenas. I can hear the laughing in the dark, the cries of pain, the joy of the suffering; sounds from the cold dark shadows fill the air. I feel the dirt covering me as my body disappears under the ground, my arm outstretched waiting for a hero to grab my hand.

Where’s your inner strength come from when the world collapses down upon you? Can you hear the cries in the dark, can you fill the Nile with the tears you’ve spent in the darkness? I say to you, it’s time to stand with the resistance and fight back. It’s time to stand tall on your faith, and it’s time to dig in your spiked sandals and find the strength blessed by God, paid for by Jesus. Scream aloud as you take no more. Own your life, be the masters of your heart over the Devils attacks. It’s time to rise above, and burst out from the ground Satan tries to bury you in. The Devil wants your heart and it’s time to cry out in a voice, ‘you can pry my heart from my cold dead chest, after I’ve ascended to Heaven!” You’re a soldier, you’re a winner, you’re of royal blood, and the Devil can’t keep you. Be a warrior, and fight back with every ounce of strength you have. We ware for our minds, but never our souls. Our souls belong to the Lord, and though we are pushed, and beaten, the gift cannot be undone. 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 (NKJV)3 “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, 6 and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.”

My Lord you are my strength when my own fails. You are my guide when I loose my way. The ledge approaches as I dig in my feet, my knees to the ground, and the shield surrounded by fire as the attacks come. The arrows from the enemy fly all around me, and I know the cavalry is on its way. I cannot give up while the blood spilt for me. I’m not going to die tonight, as I will continue to fight. The world says give up, the world says I’m not good enough, the storm says I’m not strong enough, but I know it’s time to fight back. It’s never enough to just hide away from the storm, but it’s time to get back up and take the fight to the storm. How will it feel to take your life back, and stand up to the demons that make you afraid in the night. The sword we hold, the sword of the spirit that is stronger then any steel.

Ephesians 6:10-18(NKJV)10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints”

Tonight the line must be drawn here, this far, no farther. The Lord’s vengeance is long lasting, and when you feel the anger bubbling inside of you from what the Devil has wrought on you and your house, remember that  peace is knowing the Lord is in control. Romans 12:19 (NKJV) “Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.” The fight comes to our lives, but we hold the ground. We take the line, and we never give up the ground. God might seem so far away, but trust that you’re never alone. Some tests the child needs to face on their own, but that doesn’t mean Abba isn’t there. Tonight when the demons come around light up the dark with the presence of the Lord. Call upon father and the angels will come forth and help hold the line. You shall never be on the battlefield alone, and tonight you can hold on till the dawn comes. Don’t let the demons take you tonight, and don’t give up for as long as you breath there’s always hope.

I thought I couldn’t hear you Lord, but it was me that wasn’t listening. I thought I was alone, but it was me that wasn’t looking. I thought I was broken inside but it was just the world. I prayed you’d come, but I wouldn’t open the door. I listened to all the wrong voices, I trusted the wrong signs, but now it’s time to rise, my old self dies away, the line drawn and fight for what I know is truth. As Picard said “We’ve made too many compromises already, too many retreats. They invade our space, and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds, and we fall back. Not again! The line must be drawn here! This far, no further!” I cannot stand by and do nothing as the Devil gains ground all around me. The compromising has become a plague, and it’s time to rise as a soldier, and I know the time for retreats is over. It’s time to make the choice to do what is right over what is easy. Tonight, rise a soldier, and raise the sword of the God, and fight back. I will not stay on the defensive anymore. I have allowed to many to drain my happiness, my kindness, and I’ve wasted too much time on those that would only do me harm. Satan’s whispers in the dark will not draw me out unprepared any longer. I will be taking back my life that was stolen from me so long ago. I’ve been on the run so many years, no more. From the ashes a new creature is born. Satan burned my life down trying to destroy me, but instead of removing me from the chessboard, I am stronger, more determined then ever to fight back. My faith, my strength, my battle cry lights up the darkness, like the power of Odin coming down from the sky, but the power of Jesus Christ is unmatched. The demons flea from me, as the battle cry is for Jesus to grant me strength. I cannot loose because it’s my faith, my love of Christ, and I cannot be bought, or broken. The future is hope, and eternal paradise awaits the faithful. My shield is close, my sword is sharp, and I’m ready to fight. Hebrews 4:12 (NKJV)12 “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

 

The Boss is Bigger

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The Boss is Bigger

What problems do you have? Do you have money issues, bills pile up, drowning in debt? Are you in an abusive relationship, mental or physical, or worse both? Are you being sexually assaulted on a regular basis or even just once? Have you lost your job or are unable to work? Are you ill and you just can’t get well? Do friends turn on you, treat you badly or just don’t care about you? No matter what your problems, or how bad it seems, God our boss is bigger then any problem we might have.

Psalm 145:3 (NKJV)“Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; And His greatness is unsearchable.”

The word unsearchable is to examine, to seek out, and if we are to consider God is so big the mystery will never be found. God can handle any situation, Romans 11:33 (NKJV) 33“Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out!”

We want to put God in a box thinking our problems are too big for Him to take. We want to think we can handle any of our own problems without God. If we think we can handle life without God we will often find ourselves seeking something missing in our lives. On the flip side I have often blamed God for my sorrows. I have fought with God looking for answers to my suffering, and wondered why I had been made to suffer in this life. I have often found myself going from one crisis to the next. A line from Deadpool seems to sum up my life pretty well, “Life is an endless series of train wrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness.” The thing is though, it’s not God who brings the rain, it’s God that sees us through.

How do you measure your days? How do you measure your pain? How do you measure your joy? There’s always the next storm brewing on the horizon, but in the sunshine do you give thanks for the moments of peace you have? Are you praising the God over all, the God of all creation, and the King of the universe? We must remember that this life is a gift from up above, and we must measure life in love. There’s so much love in this world, and even though the darkness is widespread, and seems like it’s everywhere, you cannot truly snuff out the light. All it takes is a tiny spark to give birth to a wildfire. We must keep the spark of God alive in our hearts, and trust that if we tend to the joy God has given to us, we can burn away everything we aren’t, and what’s left is a beautiful creation reborn in the light of the Lord.

As the song Hard Love by Needtobreathe says “it takes time to make your courage strong.”  We must be patient but we need to remember that God is with us, and we cannot expect something without us working. We have to hold on tight, and fight for the change we want. Change doesn’t come without sacrifice and we must move with purpose for the Lord. Let that fire burn inside you, and let it become a raging forest fire in your soul. This life will test you, it will try to break you, but if you allow God to forge you, you will become something so strong nothing can break you. Be the Kings sword forged in the pits of hell on earth, and able to go to battle every day. This life is hard, but stand tall, stand firm, and scream from the mountaintops that you ain’t done.

No matter what struggles you have, God is bigger. God can get us through anything, and use everything to teach lessons, to make change, and in all things we can find purpose. God wastes nothing. Everything we experience is an opportunity to grow in faith, to show faith, to experience faith. The question is who are you? Who do you want to be? Do you want to be someone that crumbles every time something tough comes along? Do you want to be the one who sinks in the water with little faith? Who are you in Christ’s light? It’s because of who our Savior is that we have hope, that we need to find our joy in this world. Don’t let Satan win the battle. The Lord will always be with you and if you remember that the next battle Satan brings to your door, you will emerge the victor over the prince of darkness. Satan couldn’t bare the love God showed to humans and his jealousy, his anger, his hatred makes his actions, his attacks are those in emotion. Stand back and think, use calm, use joy, use love to withstand the blows of the Devil. Martial Arts can teach us a great deal about fighting back against Satan’s attacks. First, don’t be tempted into a fight. A man can’t fight if it’s just them in the ring. Second, allow your attacker to expel energy as you simply move out of the way. It takes twice as much energy to swing and miss then to swing and connect. Third, use your attackers own weight against them. When the Devil throws all he has at you, respond by taking his attacks and turning it into something good for yourself or others. Lastly, when the time is right strike back. Show Satan you cannot and will not be bullied, or beaten down. Show Satan who you are in the light of Christ. You may not be able to control the battles that come your way, but you can control how you respond to them. With God in your corner you cannot loose.

David brought down a giant and won every battle sometimes with overwhelming odds against. Gideon won along against thousands. God sent Jesus and concurred Sin, and no matter what happens, we are saved. God changes hearts, and saves lives. Don’t underestimate the power of God. No matter what comes, as long as you have breath in your lungs, you aren’t done, and even if the odds seem against you, remember who’s King, and who’s in your corner.

My God, by Go Fish

“My God is so big, and so strong, and so mighty, there’s nothing my God cannot do!”

 

 

You’re Worth More Then You Think You Are

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You’re Worth More Then You Think You Are

I reached for you, but you had another idea. You blew me off, and got mad when I didn’t understand. You decided you didn’t need me, nor did you want me around. I didn’t understand. You said you cared, and yet you slapped my hand away when you were in need. I reached out for you, and you told me, I don’t need you. What more can I say, except if you don’t want me around, I don’t want to chase after you anymore.

I have spent so much worrying about why someone didn’t want me. I’ve spent so much time chasing after friends, always being the first to say hello, always being the first to ask how they are, always being the first to check on them, and after all this time, what do I have to show for it? I have wasted so much time feeling like it was me that wasn’t wanted, that it was me that was worthless, but really, I’m the one with the conscious. I’m the one with the compassion in my heart, because I know the love of Jesus Christ. I spent so much time thinking if I loved enough someone would love me in return. I spent so much time thinking if I showed how much I cared, showed my love every day, and tried to live up to scripture in love that I would be loved in return. I was wrong.

Luke 6:32-36“But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back. 35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. 36 Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.”

All this time I didn’t understand the nature of some people. I didn’t understand the sinful mentality, which sin in it self is about ‘I’ about the selfish desires of what is wanted for self. I missed out on knowing how selfish, and manipulative people could be. I failed to understand that I would give and give and never receive anything in return. I would give everything I had till there was nothing more for me to give, or someone would take their fill, and move on. What do I have if nothing anyone wants for a long hall? Learning how not to allow people to use and take advantage is a process for me. I don’t see the signs like most people do, so my blindness hinders me from finding healthy friendships/relationships. I can’t place my worth, or value in the hands of sinners. I must learn to focus on the love of Jesus Christ, and let go of the painful losses of friends, and loved ones. I am worth more than the brokenness I experience. I am valued by the words of scripture that say I am bought by blood to be accepted in Heaven, and I am a child of God.

Romans 12:9-21 (NKJV)“9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. 10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; 11 not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; 12 rejoicing in hope, patient[a] in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; 13 distributing to the needs of the saints, given[b] to hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16 Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.

17 Repay no one evil for evil. Have[c] regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 Therefore

 “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;

If he is thirsty, give him a drink;

For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

 

I have approached relationships all wrong most of my life. I have thought the more I gave I would get back something, but when you give to people who have no respect for the relationship you will never see any return. It hasn’t been about what I would get back, but when you give and give, and receive nothing, that’s not a friendship. When you give your heart to someone and they don’t return that love, that’s not love. I have believed people loved me and in the end, I was only lying to myself. It’s time I don’t spend resources on those who would only squander it for their own purposes. God says to be good stewards of what we have, and if I am wasting my time and love on those who don’t truly care about it, it’s time for me to hold onto what I have till people truly come around and desire my time, my affections, my love. I cannot allow myself to fall into despair anymore when someone decides they are done with me. I cannot allow the pain to fill me up and cast me into the darkness of depression. I must learn to change my cognition to a more self promoting thought process, and remember that my value is found in Christ, and if I am working for the Lord, his approval is all I need.

Hello my name is Child of the one true King. His blood has saved me, I’m special and I am more than what people have done to me. I am more than how people have treated me, and I am more than I feel about myself. I have been bought by a pure sacrifice and if I weren’t worth anything, why then would Jesus lay his life down for me? I am worth more then I think I am, and it’s about time I start to see that. I am broken on the inside and Jesus Christ is the one mending my spirit and my heart. It won’t happen over night, but slowly, I’m starting to understand.

Well Done

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Well Done

I was thinking about a song I heard recently called Well Done by The Afters. It’s about being told well done by God when you reach Heaven. I have always wanted to have my dad tell me well done, and that he was proud of the man I’ve become. This is something that will never happen of course, but having that affirmation has always been something I’ve dreamt of. All these years I have walked this life and I’ve managed to learn a great deal of what a father’s supposed to teach their son. I can throw a ball, I can ride a bike, I can shoot a gun, but there are lots of things I don’t know how to do. I have wondered what kind of father I might be someday if I ever become a father. One of my biggest dreams in life is to be a dad, even with the level of fear I have on the subject. Will I be able to tell my kids well done? Will I be able to watch them grow and be proud of who they become? Dreams, and nothing more than dreams. As for me I hope the only father I’ve ever had is proud of me. Sometimes it’s hard for me to be positive when I don’t know if Abba is proud of me or not. Sometimes I feel lost, and quite frankly I feel sad some days. I’ve looked back on the life I’ve lived and I see some great things, and I’ve seen some things that are highly questionable. All I can do now, is continue to grow in Christ, have faith in Abba, and keep moving forward.

I have to remind myself I work for the Lord, I don’t work for man. I write for the Lord, for the pleasing of God, and nothing else matters. Colossians 3:23 (NKJV)23 “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,” I know I need my Lord, my salvation. I know I fall short, and I know I sin, but I know I need only ask, and seek the Lord, and I shall be forgiven for my transgressions. 1 John 3:2 (NKJV)“Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.” I pray for the day I am called home, but till then I remain here, in this life, faithful, and doing Gods will.

When I look back over my life, sometimes I wonder how I ever made it through. I wonder how I never got into drugs, or alcohol, or mixed up in criminal activity. I often wonder how I’m not dead with how close it’s been so many times over. I know there were days when the pain felt more than I could bare. I know there were days when I wanted to throw in the towel and walk away. The storms seemed to last forever never letting up. Through it all Jesus was by my side, and protecting me. I have experienced so much pain, so much loss, and so many betrayals, but God is a loving God, and He hasn’t ever left my side. The Lord God Almighty has watched me waver, but has always kept me on track. I have fallen, and I’ve always been picked back up. I’ve had scraped knees, and bruises, but I’ve always been taken care of. The awesome power of God is beyond words, beyond comprehension, and I have felt the awesome power move through me. My God saved me when I was at my lowest, and if that’s not a father I don’t know what is. I have a father even if I can’t see Him, even if I can’t always feel him, my father is here for me always. One day I will be home, and I hope to hear father tell me well done. I pray I hear father’s proud of me, proud of the life I lived. I hope when I die, I will be welcomed into Heaven, and hope that the race will not be for nothing. What will it be like? I can only imagine.

 

Sewing Dissension

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Sewing Dissension

1 Corinthians 10:13“Conscience, I say, not thine own, but of the other: for why is my liberty judged of another man’s conscience?” If we are looking at this from a position of denominations and the dissension that has sprung up all over the church body, why do we deny one denomination of another? This denial should only be a true look at scripture and even if there are differences of opinions, that is not a reason to turn your back on someone because they believe in something just a little different.

Different denominations and the separate and not equal mentality! The faith of Jesus Christ should not hold this dissension and this off putting mentality of unwelcomeness. The Church of Christ is not meant to be a separate body, but a whole body, under one book, under one voice of truth and one truth.

“I am the way the truth and the life” John 14:6, not a way, or one way, it’s the way. We all have a common enemy and it should never be one another. When we no longer recognize each other because we fall under a different denomination at this point we are no longer showing the love to our neighbors that we were commanded to do. Turning our backs on one another because of doctrine beliefs, that aren’t within the nature of scripture.

Paul speaks about the dissension that started to spring up. The warning of the divide and we today see this widespread. The hope we share in Christ needs to be reborn, a revelation in our eyes and a restoration of our souls in a revival. Psalm 51:10“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” We are set free from the chains of bondage. And no separation of denomination will matter, because Satan does not care about what compartment of faith you pull from. Satan attacks as an equal opportunity and the only save is Jesus Christ. Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, Methodist, anyone else who believes in Christ, we are one body.

Psalm 51: 51 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.

4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.

7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow 

8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.

15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.

16 For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.

17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

18 Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.

19 Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.

What a world it becomes when man makes his own way under the table of faith, but digging the tunnel under the faith be ready for the collapse of sin upon your head. You cannot flee from the repercussions from sin, and we cannot avoid the result of Satan’s grasp when we ignore the walk of the Lord.

When we fail and fall it’s important to reset our walk in Gods perfect forgiveness. Gods righteousness is unyielding and we deserve the path of Hell, but grace saves. Are we walking the true path of Christ or are we trying to create our own way. Sin drags you down, and the further you go trying to fix your problems on your own, the more over encumbered you will be. Are you turning your back on someone for their actions, but you have not washed away your own transgressions? Are you filthy of your  sin and fallen to temptations? We are all sinners alike, no matter the denomination you follow, and skirting scripture or creating false doctrine is sinful behavior. No matter the person who claims doctrine without true understanding of scripture. Galatians 2:16“Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.”

Galatians 3:11“But that no man is justified by the law in the sight of God, it is evident: for, The just shall live by faith.”This is the fight Paul was addressing in his letter to Galatia. He was trying to get them to understand the nature of Christ, and to stop arguing over doctrine and having the Jesus plus one mentality. Galatians 5:14-18“For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 15 But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another. 16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. 18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.”Are we living in Church law that is not Gods law? Are we blind to scripture as we never do more than listen to what one speaks and we take that word as truth yet we never know the truth of the Word of God.

Stop looking down at one another based on politics, or denominations. We are one body of Christ and we need to stop acting like we are apart. Be of faith, and the blood of Christ. If Paul were to write your church a letter what would he say? Would he say well done, or shame on you? Just a thought, which I think we can all take to ponder for a while. Wash away your old selves, your dirty sin, and be new. Allow the blood of Christ to make you white as snow, and create a bond of all those who follow our Lord and Savior. We may have our differences, but never does that give us the right to shut the door on another Christian. Do not let the differences in denomination transcend into a different religion all together.