Season to Give

Season to Give

We are in the season of good will, a season of being thankful and grateful, but what’s that mean? In this life we can choose the life of light or life in the dark. If you put a little love in your heart the world would be a better place. This is a season of love, and to love your fellow man. Jesus came to this world to love us, to die for us, to save us from ourselves and sin. Seasons greetings and happy holidays.

There are so many needy families out there that this holiday season is just a reminder how bad things are for them. It’s hard to see the reminder of how life has been hard, and discouraging. Those who have the ability to lend a helping hand should. It’s the strong’s responsibility to protect the weak. Psalm 34:8 8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” We may have the power to drastically change the lives of just one family, but I guarantee that family will forever remember.

We may not always be able to save everyone, but we can do the best we can. Growing up in a mostly poor home, I remember the struggles. The kindness of strangers often changed my life forever, and now that I’m older I feel the need to pay it forward. Paying it forward is the best gift we can give to someone.

Merry Christmas to All

 

 

 

 

All our Hope

All our hope

All we can do is drop to our knees and pray, placing all our hope in Jesus. I know I’m not worthy to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven, but God is big and I am small. Some people are cruel, and manipulative. Pray to God for their souls, pray to God for the change that needs to happen.

I’ve been down on my knees a lot lately. I’ve been taken to the emotional woodshed, and all I can say is Thank God yesterday’s gone. Im no stranger to pain, no stranger to heartache and heartbreak, but I’m free and I’m saved in the Blood of Christ. We can be beaten, tortured, we can loose it all on this world, and we can be broken down, we can be so hurt we may not feel like we can breathe anymore, but if you can still draw breath, then the hope in Christ, all our sins are forgiven, our tears will one day be wiped away, and the pain of yesterday will be gone.

There’s nothing anyone can do to take your salvation away. Your heart for Jesus will outlive your pain, the attacks you will face daily. ‘If you can take it you can make it’ unbroken.

A Journey In The Darkness

A Journey in the darkness

Psalm 91:4 “He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.”

The joys of this life can be easily snuffed out in the mists of dark days, of struggles, and of heartbreak. When the days get you down you have to be strong. It’s so easy to fall into darkness and despair. I’ve seen it happen in my own life, and in the lives of many that I know. Despair is a dangerous and sometimes deadly trap. Despair can easily turn into quicksand and drag you down, and must like the Dementors in the famed Harry Potter books, it can suck the happiness right out of your lungs and make you feel like you’ll never be happy again. One thing in my own life I’ve found is how fickle some friends can be. Since my gun shot wound a year ago I’ve found more and more friends are fickle and come around only when they want something, or they are bored and know you’ll be there as a last resort.

While there’s no doubt that this hurts, and I know I can’t be the only person that goes through this, what hurts the most is the exodus that’s occurred. While I realize that bullet changed my life, and while I am responsible, the feeling of loss from the mass abandonment that was left behind is heart breaking. Now over a year later, I’ve had another exodus from obvious different causes, but never the less the pain is the same. This presents a new kind of struggle, and yet again staring at the brink of darkness, and once more unto the breach. The war continues and as there is a great sense of loss, I am left with one undeniable fact, that I am not alone. Though the case may be that while physically and emotionally I am or feel alone, God is always there with me. While this doesn’t take away the desire and drive to meet someone special, or want to make new local friends, it does prevent me from falling into complete and total despair.

I know at the end of the day when I’m feeling down and I’m feeling blue, I know that my future is much brighter then it appears because I know that my Abba is looking out over me. I swore no matter how bad it got I would never stair down the wrong side of that circumstance again, and that I would be an advocate for finding another way. There is always hope as long as we breath, and while I am lonely, while my Christmas wish is to find love, and to not being alone anymore, and to make some good local friends, I know that God is with me and in time, those things will be mine, because it’s what my deepest desire is from my heart. I may not always makes the right choices, but I try to.

If you’re feeling despair this season reach out, find someone. If you’re happy as can be this holiday season, reach out to your friends or family that are having a hard time. Don’t forget this is both the happiest time of year, and often the saddest. Faith is so important, and even when it’s sometimes hard, don’t loose hope, and never give up. Don’t ever forget that you can be protected under Angels wings, and your God, the King of all is powerful enough to handle any situation, every tear, every cut, you aren’t suffering through it alone. God is not just watching, God experiences it all with us. Rest assure you will make it out, and one day you will make it home, a home of pure perfection.

 

 

 

Finding Love This Holiday

Finding Love This Holiday

It’s been over a year now since my wife separated from me. In that time I have spent an exhaustive amount of time trying to broaden my social life, along with that, I’ve tried to get back into the dating world. It’s not an easy task when you don’t have a solid social life to start with. Getting back out there is hard enough when you have a ton of friends let alone, when you don’t. The most common advice I get is to just be patient and don’t look for it. The other is all in good time. See here’s the thing with that, if I don’t try, it won’t happen. Cause and effect, if I sit at home alone every day people aren’t going to just come to me. In order for me to legitimately find new friends, and perhaps a new relationship, I need to actually be proactive. Nothing happens without work or effort.

Something else I’ve heard far to often is learning to be content being on my own. It literally drives me nuts when people give blanket advice and really have no idea about the whole situation. People like to give advice without thinking of the actual situation someone’s in. There’s a level of isolationism that’s not healthy, and while isolation isn’t healthy in long exposure, there are times when it’s healthy. When you are feeling vulnerable like a live wire isolation is the worst thing for you. When you go through a divorce or separation, the experts say to have a healthy budding social life, not to isolate yourself. While there is something to be said about self-reflection during times like that, that’s not the same thing as not getting out or going anywhere. If you only go out once every 3 months or so, and you don’t spend time with people in between any of that, it’s likely the effects of isolation will be more detrimental then the ability to pull positive lessons from it.

All that being said, I would like you to think about the type of friend you are, and the type of people who are in your life. Everyone is going through something and while I’m not excusing gross negativity, what I am saying is be empathetic for the blight that has fallen upon your loved ones this year. Everyone endures struggles, but some endure more then others. Some people who are alone this year can find themselves feeling more lonely, and are more likely to fall into depression.

In my own life not only have I fallen into a tough spot to be, but I’ve had a mass exodus of friends, and some close friends in the last year. People in my life I never thought would leave or abandon our friendship have left without so much as a single word of explanation. While it’s true, everything works out for the glory of God, that doesn’t make the sting of disappointment any less, or the heartbreak from loosing people I cared deeply for. It’s not easy loosing people, even if they say it’s for the best. The cause and effect however still remains the same. I know to many people who have suffered great losses this year and can always use a little extra love.

My hope this holiday season is to find someone who truly wants to be with me for me. Someone who cares for me, and the season will end for me, and a new one begins. While I would love to enter in a beautiful relationship, I also want to have a budding social life. I crave social interaction and wish to have a solid group of friends. While I understand I may need to continue to be patient for this, I can still wish for a Christmas miracle. Remember though there are a lot of people out there, and several you would probably find within your own circle of friends. Don’t forget them this year, don’t forget the losses people experience and how that may affect them around the holidays. Try to lift them up and be there for them. It may not be a lot, but for some that little extra effort may be the difference in all the world. I realize people get busy around the holidays, but any extra effort won’t go unnoticed.

 

 

Breaks my Heart

Breaks my Heart

Going into this holiday season it breaks my heart to think about all those people out there who are suffering, who’ve lost everything, who feel hopeless. It breaks my heart to think about all those people who are without homes, without family, and have so much less then I do. I was just in Hawaii and the number of homeless is staggering. I’ve been all over the world and I’ve seen what poverty looks like up close. I’ve seen homes made of mud and no floors. I’ve seen houses made of scrap metal and tin, and we in America take for granted many of the gifts we have. It breaks my heart those who suffer from heartbreak this time of year. How many people suffer through divorce, or death, or loss of jobs this time of year? This time of year is hardest on people, and also the most joyful, but we can’t forget what it’s all about.

 

It’s hard being alone not having someone to share this time of year with. I miss going Christmas shopping, and cuddling by the fire watching Christmas movies. I miss sharing a glass of eggnog, and awaiting the look on my love’s face when they open the perfect gift. It’s a hard time for me this year, and even as hard as it is for me, I know others, many, many others, have it so much then myself. I feel more connected to the suffering of others this year then I have in the past.

 

This time of year we remember the goodness in our lives. We remember that the Son of the Lord was born and we celebrate the birth of our Savior. We celebrate the birth of a Child that would grow to take our sins upon himself and pay for our sins in innocent blood. The Lord blesses us every day and we often take those blessings for granted. When I look at all the suffering in this world I feel so small, what can I possibly do?

 

When I was in Hawaii recently I looked around and realized how blessed I was. I was in a wonderful place, with beautiful caring people, and I thought about those who where far worse off then me. All we can do is believe that God’s in charge and have faith that it’s working out. We have the ability to change the lives of those around us, if we just have the eyes and the heart to fight for change. We can’t always change or save everyone, but we can try.

 

Remember this time of year isn’t about the shiny baubles, the gifts, the shiny lights and colors, it’s about the good will towards your fellow neighbors. It’s about celebrating the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. We need to take a step back from the commercials, the drive to shop till you drop, and all the other things that draws your attention from the true beauty of our holiday. Of course enjoy the holiday and all that goes will, just make sure you don’t loose that focus. Take a little thought and pray for those who are less fortunate. It’s cold this time a year and there are families without food, without heat, and many without a home. Pray for them, and do something nice. Good will towards your fellow humans. Be kind, and be generous.

Back To Life

Back to life

The return to my normal life came back like a kick in the face. Less then 24 hours after my return I find myself right back in the war. My first appointment was supposed to be easy and straight forward and yet the VA’s propensity for failure is never without a small sense of irony.

While the appointment wasn’t a total loss, it was a quick reminder I’m no longer in paradise and I needed to be ready to pick up arms again and be ready for the impending fight.

When you return from a vacation, or in my case an intense clinic of physical and psychological exorcises designed to push, motivate, and rejuvenate your soul, it’s a challenge returning to life and watching as the difficulty continues.

It’s important to stay focused and realize that just because there are hiccups in the road doesn’t mean all is lost. I’m finding myself in a struggle to manage the emotional roller coaster, but as far as frustrations go, breaking out in chronic hives is high on my list. Breathing and trying to recall the serenity prayer is a big step for me to remaining focused on the big picture.

Returning Home

Returning Home

After a week in paradise it’s time to make the long flight home. After the time here on this beautiful and majestic island I find myself slightly torn. While there are aspects of my life back home I miss dearly, the time here in this beautiful place has rekindled a fire within me, and I know feel the urge to drastically change my circumstances to promote a better, more healthy lifestyle for myself. The point of the clinic was to open your eyes to new possibilities, teach yourself to interact with others again, and to push yourself to new boundaries. There are things I never thought I’d actually do, and even more then I ever thought I could do.

We can be amazed at the possibilities when we are actually pushed to go beyond our comfort zone, work as a team and find some kind of accepted level of accomplishment when it’s greater then the sum of what we gave ourselves credit for. The chance of a lifetime can sometimes only come up a small number of times, and it’s important for us to catch it before it’s gone.

When you’re riding into the waves it feels like you aren’t getting anywhere. You can paddle and paddle, but feeling the strain and the fatigue that comes with the effort put in, do you feel you have gained in equal amounts? When you go surfing you paddle to get yourself in a good position, the work you put in to get out to your spot may not give you instant gratification. Sometimes in surfing you wade in the water for a little while. But when the wave comes and you begin to paddle with the wave, and you can pop up, and ride it, standing up on the water, seeing, and feeling the fruits of the labor you’ve put in, that’s what surfing’s all about. Isn’t life the same way? We are a nation of microwave oven, fast food, right here right now, instant gratification, loving people. We no longer wait for the work to take hold, we expect it right here right now, and our way. You may not catch every single wave, and when you learn to read them, you learn that a particular wave may not be for you. That doesn’t mean you aren’t in the right place though. We need to learn to be patient with our efforts, and know that eventually the right way will come along, and God will give you the tools to be able to ride that wave when the time is right.

I think one of the biggest things we do is get ourselves into a comfortable routine, and we no longer stay in motion like we should. It’s easy to fall to the wayside of life and flounder, not really going anywhere. We can’t always maintain a particular pace, but we at least need to doing something. Even then sometimes being patient and scouting the waves, allowing ones self to watch for the right opportunity, that to can be an advantage, as long as we don’t stay in that holding pattern forever.

Trust in the Lord and you will be taken care of. Some waves are bigger, some are smaller, some will let you down, and some with thrash you all around, but no matter which wave you’re on, use your situation to glorify the Father, and never stop seeking your next wave.

On the water

On the water

While plans may change sometimes suddenly, the key to happiness is not letting those things knock you off your keel. You need to remain solid in your footing and learn to brace with the waves. When life’s gets into rough seas you have to learn how to deal and adapt to the changing winds and learn to navigate without your ship sinking. While there will always be times when you may loose a lot, always hope and continue to sail the open seas.

Be sure to remain flexible, but firm. Stand your ground against the sin, and relax when you can about the small stuff that really doesn’t matter. While plan A, and plan B fell through today, plan C actually worked out pretty darn well. While we are on this great adventure I find myself being reconnected to people, and for me, since it’s been too long, feels great. I haven’t felt connected in a long time.

We must learn to take advantage of the ups when we are there, and much like surfing, use the wave to propel you but never stop paddling till you stand up to ride it. When we get the perfect ride we can’t miss those opportunities. Never give up hope your wave will arrive, you just have to be patient and it’ll come. Have faith in the Lord and when it’s your run, you’ll be given the perfect ride.

There’s some peace on the water that you don’t usually find in other places. The only other place I found peace was at the top of the mountain looking over the earth from such a high place. In the grand scheme of things you are so small in comparison, and instead of feeling small and insignificant, it made me feel so much more important because if the world is truly so big, and I am so small, how special am I to know that the King of all things took the time to create me, to look out for me, who hears my prayers, and provides in all aspect of my life. I am grateful to my King my Abba that I am special enough that I have been given beyond my wildest dreams opportunities like the one I find myself on this week. The ability to travel to the other side of the world, and enjoy such a beautiful and wonderful magical place has been more of a blessing then I ever deserved. I’ve had people tell me these last few days that I have deserved this trip, and I question what exactly I’ve done to deserve this kind of blessing. The truth is, it doesn’t matter, what does is that I have been given this blessing, and that I don’t waist it. I use it, and I move forward with this blessing and use it to the betterment of those who I connect with. Paying forward is such an important aspect of Christianity, and we often fall short in doing that. \

I think one of the biggest things we need to do in our lives is find our thing. Find the thing that can reconnect you. Find it, whether it be meditation, hiking, running, reading your bible, whatever it may be, find that thing, and do that thing often. There are plenty of things that are safe and within reason that will ultimately change your life. Keep yourself in tune with God, and keep yourself in tuned with the beauty of this planet and treasure it because it’s the only one we get. We have been given such a beautiful place to enjoy our lives, I think it’s about time we get back to actually enjoying it. Bad things happen to everyone, and we can either let them hold us back, or push through, and find our joy again. Find your joy in the gifts God has given you. Enjoy the beauty.

Show Some Respect

Show Some Respect

As a friend, how do you treat your friends? How respectful are you towards your friends? What kind of person are you? Are you a friend who drops everything when you’re needed? Are you a friend who goes to great lengths to check on your friends when you know they are in need? Are you a friend who helps others financially, spiritually, or emotionally? Are you the type of person that pays forward good deeds? Or, are you the kind of person that accepts those good deeds but never repays them? Are you selfish and you take for granted those people in your life that are always there for you? How do we as a people look to Jesus Christ? Are we appreciative of the sacrifice Christ made for us?

When you have much to offer, people will flock to you in droves. When Christ was healing everyone, handing out free food, lifting everyone up, the people loved him. When he started talking about everyone being sinners, and heaven wasn’t achievable for everyone because of our love of Sin, they turned on him. They threaten to stone him, and ran him out from one town after after. This is the savior and only when it suited us, did the people appreciate the truth, no, they preferred to live happy in a lie, instead of face the bitter truth.

( Spoilers Ahead for The Matrix)

I’m reminded of the first Matrix movie. The Matrix a prison meant to enslave the human race by keeping their minds trapped inside a digital construct, while harvesting a human being to essentially be living batteries. A soldier for the cause for the revolution against the machines Morphious In the first film one of the freed mines, a man named Cypher betrays the crew and causes a lot of problem. When the betrayal is discovered Cypher describes how he’d rather live in ignorance, and the joys of the Matrix, rather then suffer and live with the truth.

Proverbs 10:9 “He that walketh uprightly walketh surely: but he that perverteth his ways shall be known.”

Luke 8:17 “For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.”

Aren’t we the same way? We look at Jesus as the answer to the problem. We sin, but it’s okay because we are forgiven, so it doesn’t matter what we do, as long as we say we’re sorry once in a while, and we keep living our lives. Yeah, see, that’s not how this works at all. Hebrews 10:26 “For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins,” It’s said that when we take the Holy Spirit into our hearts the idea of sin becomes so repulsive we don’t do it intentionally. While we will always have moments where the flesh takes over and we Sin, the guilt we should feel when we do is where the repentance comes into the picture.

We are responsible for our own sins. We are responsible for how we treat others around us. We are responsible for the kindness in our own hearts. We are responsible for the selfishness in our hearts. The taking of Bashiba by King David was a knowing sinner at the time he took her into his bed. He knowingly sinned as he plotted the death of her husband. He knowingly sinned as he attempted to plot and scheme to hide his own sin. How appreciative of someone who picks up our tab at dinner? Now think about it, how appreciative are we now when we think about our eternal salvation? Do we live like someone who has been freed from an eternal death sentence? There’s a price for our sin, there’s a price for our actions, how we treat someone, and “The bill comes due, always” (Dr. Strange)

 

 

 

 

Return of the Hives

Return of the Hives

Have you ever had something happen in your life over and over again? A few years ago I was diagnosed with chronic urticaria and angioedema. After years of trying to figure out the cause we came up with absolutely nothing. The solution came in the form of a monthly shot. This was not to cure the cause, only to subdue the effect. Whatever was causing the reaction to create the hives would be simply put, shielded. The histamines that were bursting from whatever was attacking them are shielded with the shot, and prevents the histamines from being destroyed. With the mistakes the VA created, my monthly shot was canceled and now after 3 months with no shot, the hives came back.

Have you ever been hopeful something came back? Have you ever wished for something to go back to normal? All we can do is pray for the return of the King. The King of all Kings God is always on the throne. Some day Jesus will return and that’s a return we can hope for and look forward too. While I battle these hives again, and might feel the strain of stress weighing on me, the faith in the Lord outweighs the frustrations of the worldly ailments.

Keep the faith and pray about the things that concern or bother you. You may never be rid of those things, but this life is only temporary, salvation is forever. Don’t give up hope.