Tag: honor

Expectations

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Expectations

There are things in this life I grew up knowing, believing with all my heart and soul. I believed in the Holy Spirit, I believed in the power of God, and the mercy of judgment that would one day befall me, and those I know. I spent my life wondering where I would be, and try to be the man God would see me be. I wanted to be a good Godly man. I wanted to be someone important to someone else. I wanted to be loved by someone as much as I loved them. I am the kind of man who expects myself to stand tall and firm that this life is precious and short. Our time here is not determined by our own making much of time, but that line is determined by God almighty. I can remember events in my life that shaped my understanding of life, and it quickly reminded me that this life is both short and important, and we as brothers and sisters in Christ must stand tall and be there for one another. I am the type of man that if a few days goes by that I don’t hear from a close friend I reach out to them. I am a man that I will send over a dozen hello’s to people just to let them know I was thinking of them and that they are important to me. All of God’s children are important, who are we to forget that it’s the fellowship, the relationships in this life that’s what’s truly important. We share the Gospel, and we rejoice the Lord with one another. Who are we if we forget our friends?

Proverbs 18:24 “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” We love Christ but we forsake our brothers. We should be ashamed of how we treat our friends. When we have so many ways in this generation to connect with others, we find ourselves busier and busier and no longer find or make the time for the important people in our lives. Luke 6:31“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” I don’t want to be remembered as the kind of man who let evil happen to my friends without ever stepping in to tell them they are loved by me and God. I want to be the man that reminds them they are loved as often as I can. This world is a cold place, and the least we can do is add a little love to those around us. The few seconds it takes to send a text, or a message, or a phone call, it’s truly a shame people have let life, let the Devil pull us apart. We must change our ways, and we must do better. We must be better because Jesus commanded us to strengthen your brothers. Luke 22:32“but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” We are told over and over to stand watch, to help carry the cross. Galatians 6:2 “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” We don’t truly know the hell someone’s going through, and we won’t know if we don’t make connections.

We must fervently love to bring light to a dark world. We must live in Christ and trust the Holy Spirit to guide us in the direction we must travel. While today I admit I truly struggle with the lies of the Devil, I find myself harassed with tears, and feeling lost in the woods by myself. I have cried now for two days straight as I have been assaulted and beaten down. I have felt abandoned and forsaken by those with whom I had given my heart. I trusted, and put my own heart on the line with someone and that heart is broken. Despite the time I’ve spent trying to heal, every now and then something happens to open that wound. I searched for over an hour to find someone to call, so I could hear a friendly voice. Sadly, after all my time searching, I eventually gave up hope on anyone taking the time to answer my request. No one would and two hours later I would fall asleep to my own tears, with just a prayer and my dogs to comfort me. Now I realize how far we’ve come away from the Lord. I realize now how the only true blessing we can count is that of Jesus Christ and the blood to renew us from sin. This life will end one day, and the tough lessons learned, Jesus is the only true place we can put our hope. Love people but understand they are human, and we all fall short to the glory of God. We all fail our brothers and sisters, and while we hope to be there, the truth is, the only true thing we can depend on is God’s love.

 

 

 

 

 

The Daily Broken

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The Daily Broken

As I sit in the ER finding the news about my bulged disc in my neck, looking at a likely surgery, I find Gods timing to be both ironic and pleasant. The pain in the simplest of tasks like breathing makes sleep a dream and the painful reality a nightmare. The shooting pains into my lungs every deep breath I take are like knives being twisted each inhale, and with every exhale the knife inches it’s way further in.

Any motion of my body causes more shooting pains and causes an uncomfortable feeling that makes sitting still the only reasonable option to the excruciating pain I feel during the slightest of movements now.

Just another test, one right after another, and like David for the 15 years of war, and Job before him, rest will come when it’s time. My trials may continue and my pain and tears may too, but one day when the time’s right, God will bless me.

Every sunrise is a chance to wipe away the sins and mistakes of yesterday. To start new and a chance to right the heading when you’re so far off course. God doesn’t care about our yesterday. Take out that compass of salvation and follow it straight to God, do it today. Don’t wait to right your wrongs we never know how much time we have to do that.

The crashing of the waves that drown me fills my lungs with water, the gasping for air as if being crushed by life. One thing I’ve learned in 9 months of therapy. Saying stuff like ‘it could always be worse’ downplays the struggles someone is going through. I realize it’s an attempt to place some things in perspective, but sadly usually that method does more harm then good and always shuts the door on communication.

When looking at the event and actually measuring the level of emotion to the event, saying stuff like it could be worse, actually tells the person that the emotional turmoil a legitimate problem causes is not important. Furthermore, if someone is legitimately taking active steps to help solve the problem validation is actually the best way to help. Validation and brainstorming actual possible solutions to the problem is what’s needed to help when the world seems too much to bear.

We all as people require some kind of validation and when we are going through troubles we wish people would understand us, sympathize and emphasize with that pain. No matter what life throws at us we must have faith Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” If we take our time to grieve and know that in every time there is a time to feel all these things, we must also remember that in John 14:1-4 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God;[a] believe also in me. 2 In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?[b] 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. 4 And you know the way to where I am going.” As humans we are all bent, some are broken, but it’s a constant struggle sometimes to stay afloat. The loneliness we may sometimes feel, the weight and crushing waves we often undergo is the evolution of our lives.

I think something that has become taboo, a common misconception is that to be Christian means we don’t let things bother us, and we are able to always run with stride. No matter the faith you have there are times when life may do damage and get you down. There’s no faith on the planet that can prevent depression that can prevent hardships or trauma. The faith we have in Christ to be with us in the midst of the storm is the one promise we know that is kept. I believe that even though hearing that voice of God can be hard and sometimes nearly impossible when the storms at it’s worst, God is still with us every second of every day. God only wants for us to love and cherish Him and to be there always for others and ourselves. I’ve heart this sentiment many times and I keep the faith that when my time comes I’ll be able to continue to stand tall in the storms, and let life takes it’s natural progression without hurting myself or others as I find myself terrified and uncertain about God’s path for me. Allow yourself to meditate in the quiet of God’s presence, and allow yourself to quiet your mind, and lay self down and focus on God, the glory of all that we do and how it lifts up the name of Christ in our actions.

While every single day is a new day to try and reinvent yourself, to treat every day like it’s a new opportunity for us to teach and preach, to glorify God. It’s also an opportunity for the Devil to do His work against you too. Every day is a battlefield full of decisions good and bad. Every day is a convergence of millions of choices by millions of people, which affect our every minute. The forces of nature in this cosmic battlefield can work for us, and they can work against us. The choices we make every day cannot only affect our own futures, but those for others. The hope we can make our choices in the midst of bad things, horrible events and have each of those choices bring glory to God and have each of our decisions be pleasing to the Father. We may not always get it right, we may not always do or say the right things, but when we wrong, when we do things that aren’t right, we must try to make up for the bad things we do by fixing them, doing anything possible to right our wrongs. The life we live may not always go how we want, we may have broken bodies, broken spirits, but when we are lost and battered turn to the Father of all things and the giver of life and give thanks and praise. Fight the evil around you, and inside you. Fight for what’s right and have the faith to let God guide you to the truth and just.

Living with memories that hurt us, living with the constant reminders of events, of failures, of hurt and pain, knowing that those pains, and those instances of suffering are just training to allow us to help others in need. Those who can endure and press on have a responsibility to show those who struggle how to push forward.

Behind The Eyes

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Behind The Eyes

The eyes as they say are the windows to the soul. We tell others our favorite things are peoples eyes, the beauty in the differences, the unique, the colors, the softness, or hardness as they are shaped by the chapters we face and overcome albeit good or bad. Do we ever look deep enough to see the pain hidden deep down in someone’s soul? Do we ever learn to look beyond our own pain and suffering to see it in others? The cold suffering hidden behind the eyes, one of fear, one of hopelessness, do we see it and ignore it? Behind the eyes is the doorway to discover someone’s joy, someone’s fears, or the sorrow. I recently had someone tell me I looked so happy in a photo I took. I was surprised to say the least. I took the photo because that’s what I do, I send selfies to the people I’m talking to. It makes the conversation a little less faceless. In the photo however I felt horrible. I felt miserable, and I had to force the smile from the stiff upper lip I’ve been supporting for months. The pain didn’t show through, or did it, and the untrained eye didn’t see it in my eyes?

Matthew 6:22-23 “The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. 23 But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!” In my own photo I realized it was the untrained eye that didn’t see it, or didn’t want to see it. We move along in our lives and we have either gotten so good at hiding how we feel, the pain were going through, or we’ve gotten so skilled at only focusing on ourselves we just can’t get beyond our own self. God sees all the pain in the entire world. Imagine that for a moment that you can see, you can feel all the suffering of the world. If you had even a hint of empathy could you imagine your heart breaking?

We couldn’t imagine the burdens people are carrying. We can’t ever fathom the pain raging deep inside someone’s heart. The only truth is those burdens for many are nearly more then they can carry alone. When we truly learn to see those in danger should we not reach down and find the empathy that we has as a society lost, yes, yes we should. Jesus never turned someone away who was in need, no one who was suffering. He provided hope and love, and empathy for those in need. We need to learn to open our eyes and our hearts to see the world, to see that we can touch a single soul by our kindness and generosity of love.

Give Me Your Eyes, Brandon Heath

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see,
Everything that I keep missing,
Give your love for humanity.
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten.
Give me Your eyes so I can see.

Save My Life, Sidewalk Prophets

If you looked me right in the eye
Would see the pain deep inside
Would you take the time to

Tell me what I need to hear
Tell me that I’m not forgotten
Show me there’s a God
Who can be more than all I’ve ever wanted
‘Cause right now I need a little hope
I need to know that I’m not alone
Maybe God is calling you tonight
To tell me something
That might save my life

 We can never know how important we are to someone else. Every encounter even small can have a lasting impression. The song Save My Life by the Sidewalk Prophets touches on this. Would we take just a little longer to talk to someone at the store, or at our job, or even in our own church? If you knew that those fleeting moments could be the difference between life and death for someone, would that change your perspective? Just about everyone I think would say they would spend a little more time if they, or had they known. I’m a firm believer that suicide just doesn’t happen in a split second. The person in pain has been in pain for a while and perhaps had very few people to lean on or trust with their pain. Look deep inside someone and embrace every chance we get with people. You never know, you might just save a life and not even know it.

We all need Christ in our lives. We unfortunately don’t have Christ physically with us, but if we need hope, if we need the love we have something powerful, we have the Holy Spirit. Christ told the disciples to go forth and baptize all the nations. If we are walking in the shadow of Christ we have the power to make that change. We can save a life by just showing a little love. We can save a life by just extending a hand in friendship. If we spread the love of Christ to the world we can touch millions. If Christians actually wept for those in need, if Christians actually saw and felt for those in pain and tried to help heal the pain as Christ had, how many lives could we affect change to, the implications would be more then any of us could fathom. “I want a second glace, so give me a second chance, to see the way you see the people all alone.” We only get one chance sometimes to make a difference. If we look at every opportunity as a chance to change the world we can because we have the Holy Spirit with us. The world is in such chaos and turmoil we can bring a little hope back to it. God has blessed us with boundless love and hope. Why we don’t spread that love to others is beyond me. Is it uncomfortable sure, but Jesus was well versed in making people uncomfortable. Jesus led his people his friends, his disciples into Samaria and then once there sent them out on their own. God uses the weak and the broken as his warriors. They say that when you are hurting you can heal if you pour yourself into helping others who are hurting just like you. Everyone’s a sinner just like you and me, everyone’s going through something and God put you in their life for a reason. If we consider every life we encounter isn’t an accident, but by design, how we act towards them could be life altering. Open your heart to see the good you can do.

Lord give me the sight to see the pain behind others eyes.

Lord give me the strength to get beyond my own pain.

Lord give me what I need to touch the lives of those around me.

Lord give me the courage to step out of the boat and out of my comfort zone.

Lord give me the eyes to see. Give me the love you’ve held onto me.

 

I Volunteer As Tribute.

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I Volunteer As Tribute.

One of the first things we are told in the military is never volunteer for anything. To volunteer in the military is usually a recipe for disaster. Usually to offer your time means some horrible thankless job that you’d regret being apart of. Luke 6:35 “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.” Even when it look rough, or horrible to give your personal time even when it looks like you won’t get anything out of it, to sacrifice for the greater good is something we’re called to do. Proverbs 11:24 “One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want.”

I heard a story recently of a love offering at my church for two families who were in dire need. While collecting the offering a member of one of the families put money into the offering plate. No matter the circumstance we should remember to give. I myself have struggled with that concept. I am always hesitant to give cash when I am not getting any. I can honestly say I have failed in my call to give. Giving is about loving. No matter if you give money, or time, or hospitality, follow 1 Corinthians 16:14 “Let all that you do be done in love.”

I can only hope that as time moves forward my unwillingness to give is forgiven and in time I can change my attitude about giving, and see what happens. As for giving there is more then one way to give. I may not have been overly giving as of late financially, but I do believe my willingness to give my time to teach the gospel accounts for something. A few months ago one of my subordinates didn’t have the funds needed to get himself lunch at work. At the time I knew I didn’t have the cash, or the money in my checking account so I chose to put it on my credit card. I got my officer lunch and even though I knew it meant I wouldn’t get anything, I was happy that my officer was fed and happy. My time in the service even though short taught me to always take care of your soldiers. As a follower of Christ I believe God is the same way. I believe God always takes care of his Children, especially the ones who fight for him. Back in September I swore to be a Soldier for Christ and to teach and preach the Gospel. As I have always had a soldiers mentality, I believe this has been my calling all along. I felt a calling towards the Bible all my life but I ran from it. It appears we are to go through training before we take our place. The Lord wants us to volunteer to be a soldier. It may take time but if God wants us to serve, He’ll have his way, one way or another. No real use fighting it, the pain and trials that we go through prepare us for our mission.

To serve the Lord is an honorable calling, and I feel honored yet not worthy to do so. I hope and pray at the very least this Blog is pleasing to Him. It doesn’t seem prudent to run away from a calling. I consider what would have been like had King David run away from his calling to be King. I consider the same for George Washington, or Neal Armstrong. How vastly different our history would be if any one of our influential individuals in history denied their calling.

So to wrap up, in the words of Katniss Everdeen “I Volunteer as Tribute” speaking to God of course. To volunteer for a cause greater then oneself is an honorable one. Ministry is no different then law enforcement and medical response services. To serve is to give.

Sideline Christians

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Sideline Christian

As we move day to day in our lives we have the tendency to have a hands off approach in the lives of others. We often sit back and watch as someone follows a self-destructive path, falls into drugs, falls to depression, or worse commits suicide. Why do we sit back and rarely stand up and say anything? If we equate life as a Basketball game we as Christians have benched ourselves. We sit on that bench and we say God will take care of it, God will answer prayers, but is it that simple, of course not. God put each of us on this planet for a reason. We can look to God to fix things, to change the course of events, but truthfully, God generally has a hands off approach. That’s where we come in. IF we Christians were to actually get off the bench we could be the ones to change things. It’s not enough to pray, we pray for God to lay his hands on someone’s heart, to heal someone’s sickness, but it’s us that can be the positive effect on someone’s life. It is said that we (Christians) cannot be the one to breakthrough someone’s heart that God can do that. I challenge that notion. If a child in Cambodia never hears the words of God, is never exposed to scripture that child is not likely to know Christ. We have missions trips that go to the far reaches of the world to spread the word, but here at home, here in our own back yard, here in our families, we remain a silent observer. When Christ was on mission at one point he returned home to continue is mission. Mark 6 tells us that when Jesus went to his own hometown the people where astonished at his wondrous teachings, but quickly turned on him. Mark 6:2-6 “ And when the sabbath day was come, he began to teach in the synagogue: and many hearing him were astonished, saying, From whence hath this man these things? and what wisdom is this which is given unto him, that even such mighty works are wrought by his hands? 3 Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, the brother of James, and Joses, and of Juda, and Simon? and are not his sisters here with us? And they were offended at him. 4 But Jesus, said unto them, A prophet is not without honour, but in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house. 5 And he could there do no mighty work, save that he laid his hands upon a few sick folk, and healed them. 6And he marvelled because of their unbelief. And he went round about the villages, teaching.” It’s often harder to preach and teach to our own families, friends, and neighbors. They often know where we had fallen short, known of our mistakes and our transgressions, but that never makes the word less true. We must always face our own failings, and not let those failings stop us from getting into the game. We are commanded by the great commission to spread the Gospel, to teach the good word, spread the good news. Doing it takes conviction, strength, and I would say preaching to your own family and friends is harder then any mission trip you may go on. Never let fear of rejection or fear of judgment stop you from doing what’s right. As Jesus said kick off the dust from your sandals and keep marching on, God is on the side of truth. In this life we are not promised an easy path, in fact we are told that for all that follow in Christ will mean our own persecution. Stand firm in your Godly convictions, face the masses, never be afraid to speak the truth. Get off the bench, and help guide those around you. Pray for guidance, pray for the sinner, pray for those around you, but most importantly never give up hope. This life is only lived once so while you’re here make a difference.