Tag: Holidays

Tough Changes

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Tough Changes

Have you ever been in a situation where you dreaded to face changes? I recently experienced the need to change my cell phone case. It wasn’t allowing me to use the functions as they should have been and it became more of an inconvenience then the protection it added. I think tough changes are hard for many people to go through. Changes at your job can be tough, and stressful. Changing schools can be tough for many. Moving out of your parents house and getting your own place can be an incredibly hard change to go through. All of these things are easy or difficult depending on each individual person. While for each situation everyone’s reaction is drastically different, and while some love change, and others loath it, one of the biggest things to change is our actions.

A popular saying is “some people never change.” Another popular saying is “once a cheater, always a cheater.” While both of these are very popular, how true do you personally think these sayings are? From my personal experience I believe they are right on the money. I think the hardest thing we will ever do is change our personality to change our actions. I’ve always said humanity would never change without a major outside force. I always figured a global extinction event such as asteroid, or drought, or contagion would be the most likely just behind nuclear war. Alien invasion (less likely) could potentially bring humanity together to face a common enemy. That being said, most people do not change without something big, and life changing occurring within their life or someone very close to them. Cancer, or a near death accident has a way to change someone’s perspectives. While we often see a spiritual change in some during these times, it doesn’t always stick. The biggest change most will ever experience is the coming to the savior Jesus Christ. It’s the change in the heart that can change a man completely.

Romans 12:1-2“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” In the Lord we are born anew. In the Holy Spirit the soul is reborn in fire. When the Lord takes hold of our hearts, we cannot not be changed. We must push forward in the Lord and we must face that like the Phoenix, we are reborn in the burning fires of the Lord, and in our new selves we are compelled to repulse the desire of the sinful flesh. 2 Corinthians 5:17“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

Change isn’t always easy, and even when you begin the following of the Lord, change isn’t always easy even after choosing the Lord. In our struggles though we should turn to our siblings in Christ and ask for them to help keep us accountable and true. We grow and we sprout from seeds in Christ and grow into a wonderful flower. The beauty in this world is only limited by our own stubborn selves. We often want to stay in our struggles because we are unwilling to change our own actions. We must change our lifestyles if we are ever expecting to change our own lives. I have watched my life grow and change in my financial walk with the Lord, my spiritual walk with my God, and even how I treat my friends. While life is full of tough challenges, changing our hearts to follow the Lord, and living in love, and denouncing hate shouldn’t be so hard, but the draw of sin is strong. Keep your faith, and keep your eyes on Jesus and always strive to change yourself to better please the Lord to what we see in scripture. Never give up hope on those around you who may be stuck in sin, and who don’t treat others with respect or love. It

The Fear He Can Smell

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The Fear He Can Smell

The lion that stalks you in the darkest hours of the night. The storm that springs up from nowhere and tosses you around the sea. But how do you feel when life explodes all around you? The scent that emanates from the deepest parts of your heart when despair is all you know. The snake that slithers around, waiting and watching patiently for that scent to be strong. The Devil, much like the ParaDeomons from Justice League can smell fear. “Fear, they can smell it!” (Justice League) If we are to fight this spiritual war, we must first acknowledge something important, we must face our deepest fears. “You have to let it all go, Neo. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind.” (Morpheus, Matrix) We cannot allow our fears, or our doubts to cloud the truth of Jesus Christ. So many people want concrete proof with their own eyes to believe in a higher power. We can’t give in to our own fears and doubts. We must find our courage to stand tall, and continue to carry on.

“The purpose is to experience fear. Fear in the face of certain death. To accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself and one’s crew. This is a quality expected in every Starfleet captain.” (Spock, Star Trek, 09) We will experience fear in our life. There are things we won’t be prepared to face, but the catch is we can turn to God for strength. God will never leave us to make it through on our own. Every day in our life is a test of some kind, and if we are to be the best Christians we can be, we have to learn how to face our fears, and to control them, not let them control us.

I can remember a few times when I was in Iraq I was scared. I remember the fear that would sweep over my body, and the question if I’d make it out alive or not would always creep into my mind. While my training allowed me to stay focused on the task at hand, I always reminded myself that if it was my time, God would take me home, and there wasn’t anything I could do about that. I became comfortable in the knowledge I may not make it home. When you get to the point where you’re comfortable with the idea of death, far less things will make you afraid. In my life today I find I am more fearless when it comes to myself, but when it comes to others fear still makes an appearance. I find now my biggest fears are that of abandonment, a fear of walking this journey alone without a companion. I think for me, this has been my weakness that the Devil has picked up on, and now uses as often as he can. My fear of being alone seems to be something I just haven’t been able to shake. As I watch friends get married, engaged, or have children, I now find myself longing for those things. My life hit a snag and the reset button was hit. Now I am starting over again, and the fear of tomorrows fate scares me. I know through my life as I’ve watched one love after another move on without me, now I’m left fearful of my fate. I do not desire to be alone, and my fear is that I have somehow deserved this fate. I know that my fear is strong in this area of my life. That fear trickles to other parts in my life. The lies whispered to me from the Devil playing on my insecurities my own self worth. I have always questioned my looks, my personality, and wondered why I’ve been alone so often. I have wondered why so many have left me, and while I realize I’m not perfect, I’m not in control of others and their own moral compass. My fears have plagued me for many years, and if I’m ever going to be happy with myself, and if I’m going to find that happiness while on my own, I must acknowledge my fears, and then learn to face them.

We all have fears, but the catch of living this life following Christ is not allowing that fear to dictate our actions. We must walk by faith, not sight. We must trust in the one who gives us our strength, our courage, and trust in the Lord and lean not unto our own understanding. We must believe that the turbulent waters are just temporary, and just around the river bend the calm straight is waiting for us. Do not fall for the lies the Devil will feed us. Fear is a liar, one designed to rob you from your happiness. I’m not talking about the fear that keeps you alive in the face of danger; I’m talking about the fear of moving forward. Trust in the Lord and believe that your salvation is the most important thing, and the rest, if part of the plan, and faithfulness will fall into place. We often want what we want, and if we live in the past, we are telling God you don’t trust him. You’re telling God you’re going to do it your way, and his timing isn’t good for you. Stop letting fear rule your emotions and your actions. Face your fears and come out on top. You are in control, not fear. God is with you always, and for that, there is nothing to fear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Light or Dark

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Light or Dark

The darkest night covers me and I need you

The sun fuels my heart and gives me warmth and strength. I need you then too.

Because of you I’m alive.

No matter where I am, or the season I’m in, my Lord I need you.

Who am I without you, I am no one.

The Lord of all knows my name.

 

The Lord who created in love not because of what I do, just because I am. I am a sinful man, but love saved me. Never because of what I’ve done, just because of what you are. No matter my of praise, or my day of prayer your grace comforts me. Today the flowers bloom, and tomorrow the ice shall come, but in all my day, and in all my ways I am yours. Because you are with me I shall not fear the night. The night was so dark without you, but your glory so bright the single ray of light when the sun peaks the horizon, the darkness breaks. Jesus Christ the pure light that would forever push the darkness away rose.

What do I have to offer the king of the universe, my heart, my everything, and yet I will never be worthy of the gift bestowed upon me. I can surrender all and even up to my life it would never cover the debt. But it is grace, and love my bill was covered by Christ. I was so loved before I was born that for me my sins and the sins of billions of others, a blood debt freely given, ransomed for my freedom of death. If my debt was paid when I’m knocked down, who then do I fight for? Christ got back up and his strength became my strength. I will get back up and continue to fight till my dying breath. I owe it to Christ to never give up and never surrender to the darkness.

God’s word has withstood the test of time, and even now as we can see the darkness covering the land, we will watch, as God’s will, will be done. Those who criticize the word and those who push to remove God’s presence from the public will one day stand in judgment. The light of the word may be pushed away but in time the raging tide will again be tamed by the Lord. God’s word will stand firm, and the darkness will be pushed back, snuffed out by the light. No matter how far we fall it’s never to late to change our course. We cannot stop praying, or hoping for God to save us. We cannot stop worshiping the Lord no matter if things are great, or if everything has been blown to a million pieces. Yesterday is gone and we don’t live there anymore. We must learn to say goodbye to the past, and live in today. The heart may have been broken yesterday, but every day we breath is a new day of growing, a new day of healing. We must tell ourselves every day that Jesus is still with us, and in his love we are healed. You cannot expect to have an answer for every tragedy that happens, and in our walk we must learn to focus on Jesus. This world is not the end, and one day the end will come on this life and the walls that kept us confined will be no more. This is not where we belong forever, and we can count on the promise made by Jesus to one day sit before the King and be accepted into the light. This life is but a fleeting speck of dust in the wind, and if we want to go home, know that this world will one day wash away.

Praise the Lord for success, and praise the Lord in failure. In every chance we get, both good and bad, fix your eyes on the one and only thing that will satisfy your heart and that’s Jesus. Life can be hard, and we are told to expect the trials that come, and the persecutions that come with following Christ, but “If you can take it, you can make it.” (Unbroken) I am a broken man, and I fail every day to live up to what God expects of me. I know I fail, and I know I fall, but I know that because of grace, and I know what true love means, I still stand here knowing God is with me. I know I have the power of the Holy Spirit with me and I’m called to be more. I’m called to push myself, and to stand toe to toe with the darkness. Every day I stand and pray to protect me from the attacks. Every day I praise my God for the blessings I have. I know I am protected and I know that for Jesus saves my soul every day. I know that every day I wake hope is here. Every day I see the hope all around me, and I know that it’ll be all right. I’ve experienced the darkness, and I’ve seen the light. I’ve felt the cold, but the warmth always triumphs. In every tear that falls God holds them. In every heart that breaks God feels our pain, and yet healing begins with Christ.

Light or dark, we decide where to stand. We can choose to stay in the darkness avoiding the light if we wish, but when it gets cold, or the demons come to creep, know the light will always accept you. You can choose to live in fear of the unknown, or you can choose to trust in Jesus and know that there is a brighter future waiting for you. You can choose to walk in the darkness, but no matter where you choose to walk, Jesus Christ is always there with you. If you choose to walk in the darkness, you have to expect to stub your toe on the furniture. Who then will you blame, God for not removing the obstacle, or yourself for not turning on the light? We as people will always learn more from hardships then a life of ease and calm rivers. If you are to be truly tested we must first be pushed to the limits to know what we are truly capable of. It’s in these times we need to turn to Christ more then ever, because we do not truly grow otherwise. We often pray for things we think are good for us, but we only see two feet ahead, but God sees a mile. We are but children clamoring around the house trying to place our finger in a light socket. God tries to warn us what not to do, but we are a stubborn people, and if we truly wish for a smoother ride we must learn to trust in the Lord and stop being so resistant to what we are told. God’s grace and love is unyielding, but our acceptance of it into our hearts is purely voluntary. Jesus loves you more then you know, and we should praise the Lord in all things, each and every day. Because our savior lives we must pray. We overcome by the power of His blood, and we are alive because he lives. Prayer is the absolute least we can do, and for the gift of life, shouldn’t we do at least that? We would be dead without Christ. Sin and shame would be all we are without the blood, and we’re alive because He lives. The light that would forever be the voice over the shadow, my life was and is held in His hands. So I pray to you Lord, thank you for my life, thank you for my pain, thank you for your love, and thank you for your gracious sacrifice for me. In your Holy Name, Amen.

Peace

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Peace

When I was in the middle of the worst storm of my life I was seen through by Jesus. When I felt like I was being tossed around at night unable to see I was being guided through safe and sound.

I have been in the storm more then once, each time was more dangerous then the next and even when all odds were against me to survive, Jesus was right there with me unwilling to let me die just yet. People often ask me how I can believe in such an old antiquated idea. I recently heard the bible called a ‘nice story’. For me the Bible isn’t just some story, it has historical fact behind it, and more then that the length of time in just the old testament alone would be long enough time that unless inspired by a higher power it’s unlikely those events occur as they did. The prophesy laid down throughout the old testament, and then the coming of the Star of David as fulfilling prophesy wouldn’t have been likely. Astronomy wasn’t exactly a big science back then. Jesus foretold events to come, but even if you claim those parts were made up, who dies protecting a lie? Eleven men, who walked with Jesus for three years would be hunted by the Romans, and other nation’s leaders as they would preach and proclaim the word of Jesus Christ. Each of their eye witness accounts were written and matched one another based on their own backgrounds and points of view. Each man would fall one by one pressured to recant their story, admit they stole the body of Jesus Christ, and out their co-conspirators, yet not one denounced the truth. Who dies horrible, painful, tortured deaths, for a lie?

While it has been 2000 years give or take since the death of Christ, the works of the miraculous haven’t stopped. Most miracles happen and only a small select few know about it, or even say anything, but once in a while the story gets out and raises the question of these events throughout history. One story, a little girl diagnosed with a non-curable disease within her digestive tract, one day this disease will kill her. She’s playing with her sisters on an old tree on their property. She falls into the tree 20 feet and after hours of rescue they are finally able to get her out. Miraculously she walks away with a small bump on the head, not even a concussion. Within days it appears her disease is gone, and her health returned to normal. She had been fighting the disease for over a year. She recounts her experience talking to God and asked if she wanted to go home with her parents. She returned healthy, uninjured.

If this one miracle weren’t enough to sway me, I’d have to look back over my own life. I have several stories from my own past that should have taken my life, but surprisingly I’m still here. 1990, I was on an indoor slide and while at the top I was pushed over the side falling and landing on my neck. The fall probably should have killed me, but I walked away just a little sore. If that weren’t enough to sway me, I would see another miracle on September 12th, 2004. My convoy would be ambushed and my truck and another truck were separated from the group and made to run the gauntlet. 12 RPG’s, countless IED’s, and a hundred or so insurgent soldiers all shooting small arms at two trucks alone on a path designed to trap them. With chance after chance though damage was done, and eventually catastrophic damage, but not before miraculously making back to safety before the truck died when my foot came off the gas. It wouldn’t start again for nearly 6 weeks. Through the whole ordeal I was calm, and while every one else was yelling, I felt safe, at ease, and it came over me like a wave. This wasn’t from any amount of training, this was pure warmth and divine. If that weren’t enough, December 22nd 2004 a 155 round should have exploded just feet from my truck and miraculously didn’t. Had it detonated it’s likely someone if not everyone in the truck would have died. If that weren’t enough I should have died when a bullet went through my shoulder years later. Almost bleeding out, I wasn’t expected to reach the hospital alive. By the grace of God, and a divine encounter I survived waking up in the ambulance to everyone’s surprise. I had lost so much blood I was gray, and with purple lips I shouldn’t have survived the trauma and blood loss. Yet, when I was unconscious I distinctly remember saying, “God I’m Sorry.” And in response a loud, thunderous, booming voice replied, “You’re forgiven.” It was like I was hit in the chest, a jolt of lightning went through me and I awoke in the ambulance. The thing is, they never used the paddles on me. I never flat lined even though I was close. My vitals though low, improved once I regained consciousness. I begged them to let me go, I wanted to go back, but that wasn’t the plan. I didn’t die that day, and since then I have begun this blog, and I have begun to minister to countless others as I now openly discuss my faith. I have had a hand in saving the life of a man thrown from his vehicle in a roll over accident, and I know I have helped others through some very tough times. None of this would have been possible if God wouldn’t have spared my life that late afternoon.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.” For years I would try to find my purpose, and I would feel lost, forsaken by the God that supposedly loved me. For years I would grow in anger and frustration as one bad thing after another happened to me. I would suffer my final loss with my ex wife’s affair finally tipping the scale and pushing me beyond the max of what I could take in my life, or so I thought. I blamed God for the wrongs from people. I had always claimed to have free will, but when it came to others doing wrong against me I wanted to blame God. I constantly felt like my troubles were the result of God being angry and spiteful towards me. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The truth was fear, but not my own fear, fear of the Devil. The Devil attacks those the most with whom he is most afraid. Imagine for a moment the fear he had of Jesus Christ. If Christ could be turned, tempted by the powers of the dark side of the force he would be a failure to God, and would rule as King of the world, but nothing more. Jesus would not be tempted time and time again by Satan, despite his best efforts. Satan knew his time to rule over a fallen world was coming to an end. Lucifer would fail to turn Christ and when Jesus defeated death and rose in fulfillment of the scripture, the only thing Satan would have left was the prevent the human souls from being saved by Christ’s sacrifice. The Devil prowls around now tempting and swaying mankind into hate and despair. The Devil’s desperate final play before the end to stick it to God one last time is preventing as many souls from Heaven as he can.

We live in this world and allow this world to tear us down, to break us in some instances, and yet, we forget the most important part of the story, Jesus already paid our price. All we have to do as easy as it is to say, is make it to the end of this roller coaster we’re on. Life isn’t going to be easy, but if salvation were easy everyone would do it. If giving up ones sinful nature, ones desire to remain in control over ones own life, then everyone could do it, and salvation would loose something. Salvation is a choice, and a choice we have to freely make. I am not a perfect man by any stretch of the imagination, but I know that Jesus loved me so much he gave his life for me. I know God has plans for me and even if I don’t know what they are, I have to have faith. Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” I have tried for many years to do things my way, to walk my own path, and every time I have tried, I’ve failed. I have run for many years from ministry because I always thought God was wrong. I was filled with so much pain and anger, how could I possibly help anyone else? The thing was, God doesn’t want perfection, he uses broken people all the time. Broken people are more real in their stories from what they were, to the healing power of the Holy Spirit. The true power of the grace of God is the redemption of the fallen, the rebuilding of the broken, and the finding of the souls that were once believed to be lost for all time. Through the grace of God anything is possible. The true blessings we have all because of God cannot be understated. While many will argue the nature of divinity, in my experience, seeing is believing.

Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” God knew exactly what he was doing when I was created. He knew my hardships, and he knew the man I would eventually become. It’s his grace that saved me, and his love that would deliver me from the brinks of death. A rare second chance and unlike many who fall back into old ways, I rose above, and though I’m just as boneheaded as I was back then, I strive to better myself. I try to grow in my faith every day and to be a light in such a dark world. If we are ambassadors for Jesus Christ I want to try to put my best foot forward. So long I’ve tried to stand out in the crowd. I’ve tried to make my name be remembered for doing something great. My own goals were not what God had in mind for me. Greatness doesn’t come how many people know you; it comes from the memories you leave behind to those who remember you. I will try to be the best man God wants me to be, and let history decide the rest. We must have faith in the plan, and let go of our own plans. When we allow the father to guide us it takes much of the pressure off on where to go, or what we have to do. We must fall on our faith that God will handle the details, and we just go where he leads us. Faith isn’t easy, but those who walk by faith, while life is no easier, often learn to take life more in stride then others.

We walk in this dark world, and if we are to find peace we must first find hope. How can someone continue to fight if they feel no hope? Where do we find our hope when the world falls down upon our heads? When the Apostils watched in horror as their Lord was nailed to a cross after being brutally beaten, they were crushed in spirit. They were utterly without hope, but after 3 days the blood debt was paid, the victory lap had been made, and Christ would rise and make himself seen fulfilling the prophesy and destroying deaths hold over the sinner for all eternity. What hope is there do you ask? While the living God is still on the throne there is always hope. Those who dwell in the dominion of Hell have been pushed back as the blood spilt bridged the gap from sin to God. Where we have hope in Christ we have light, and while there is light we will always have peace. The love of God that lights up the darkness is all we’ll ever need. A heavy price was paid, and we have the only thing that will ever matter, the love of the father.

Joy to the World

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Joy to the World

The horrors of this world are many and can be found anywhere. You turn on your television, or the pages of the morning paper, scrolling through Facebook, no matter where you look, there’s so many horrible things being shoved in your face every day. How can we find joy and hope this holiday season with so much pain in this world? The very short, very easy answer is Jesus Christ, the baby who was born to live a life fully human and fully God at the same time. The God who lived a full life to experience the joy, and the pain of our life, and the God who wanted us to see resemblance within our own life. When we are going through something horrible and we are told to pray to God about our woe’s, we can because God truly does understand. There’s nothing easy about living this life, but it’s when we are brought to our knees we can truly see the joys of this world.

Sometimes it’s hard to see the good in people when we are living on top of the world. It’s hard to see the generosity of people when we have everything we want. When you’re struggling to get by and someone gives to you out of the kindness of their heart, that’s when you know there are still decent people out there. When you are in line at the grocery store and you’re a single mother of 3 and someone picks up the grocery tab for you. When you’re at a restaurant and someone pays for your table, that’s when you know good people are still around and hate hasn’t won the day.

While at times it seems like hate is everywhere you look, and racism, and bigotry is everywhere, there are also people who live like Jesus commanded. It’s simple this time of year, look to the heavens and remember that a child was born, he lived along side us, and eventually died because of us and in doing so saved us from ourselves. We were saved from an eternal fate of death. We celebrate the birth of that little baby, and we need to remember it’s not about the gifts we give to one another, it’s about the gift that was given to us.

Luke 2: 9-14 “9 And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with great fear. 10 And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. 12 And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, 14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

 The child born that night sometime in the spring would bring forth both hope and despair. Hope for those who thirst for truth, knowledge and love beyond our own understanding. Those who knew and understood that without the love and sacrifice of the Lord we would always be bound to die by Sin. Despair for those who have embraced their sin and refuse to acknowledge the need for a savior. Whenever Christ is the topic, conflict ensues. While Jesus was being born Harod set out to slaughter thousands of first born children. When Jesus would spread the truth about God, angry hoards would gather and force him from the town. Sin breed’s hatred of the convictions held deep beneath the surface. The truth is we are in the darkness if we do not understand the true meaning of Christmas. We should be singing songs and praising the Lord and Saviors birthday! It’s a birthday party and for those who scream Scrooge this year, I say bah humbug to you. Enjoy this birthday celebration and one day when this life passes away we will have a celebration of our own as we enter the eternal city. Spread a little Christmas cheer this year and remember it’s not about the presents, it’s not about the tinsel on the tree, it’s about the love we share, the joy of knowing that God is still on the throne and still in control. Knowing we have overcome death, and that we were saved because of a little baby born so many years ago.

So, even when things are down and you may have the holiday blues remember the real meaning this year and try to let go of your inner Scrooge and praise for the blessings in your life. So joy to the world, and good will towards all men and women.

 

 

 

 

Circle the Flame

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Circle the flame

Sometimes we get caught in our own prisons. We are drawn to the pain when that’s all we know anymore. We circle it like a moth to a flam. Unable to pull away but we either need to pull back or we get burnt.

When we spend so much time in struggles sometimes the struggle is all we know. I’ve seen it in soldiers who go back over and over again to war. The old phrase goes a war junkie. Sadly that expression isn’t far from the truth. It’s not war you fall in love with, it’s the feeling of purpose, it’s the feeling of being needed, and it’s the adrenalin high you get during your missions you eventually get addicted too. Many soldiers when they return find themselves idle and unsure of what to do with themselves. They feel like something is missing in their life and they seek the excitement of their lives, the brotherhood that’s now long gone. Many people find themselves getting into extreme sports when they return. Sports like speed racing, skydiving, bunji jumping, rock climbing, anything they can find to get that euphoria that adrenalin makes you feel.

There’s also a sense of belonging that subsides when you are away from your brothers and sisters. A connection with people that once you are out of the military is surprisingly hard to come by. As for myself, I’ve searched for many years now to find a new group of friends to replace the military family I once had, and instead all I’ve received is isolation. Making new friends isn’t easy anymore. Finding common ground with people isn’t easy, and sometimes it takes a long while to build a connection.

There’s a line from my favorite show Arrow “Sooner or later, we all go through a crucible. I’m guessing yours was that island. Most believe there are two types of people who go into a crucible. The ones who become stronger from the experience and survive it, and the ones who die. But there’s a third type. The ones who learn to love the fire and choose to stay in their crucible because it’s easier to embrace the pain when it’s all you know anymore.” (Sabastian Blood) I myself have always found it hard to relate to others after my time in the service. Though the missions were hell, and there were days I hated life, it seemed strange to return to life when I no longer recognized that life.

We in the military spend so much time training to be someone else, something else, but when it comes time to returning to civilian life it’s only a matter of days from soldier to civilian. Learning how to be a civilian again for some happens quickly, for others never at all. Sadly for many veterans the return to civilian life is so traumatic it eventually ends with suicide. Christmas time is hard on veterans. So many are suffering with loss, with PTSD, with homelessness, and while many of us are enjoying our morning of trees, music, gifts, and warmth, many veterans are just trying to find their one meal for the day and a warm place to lay their head. A matter of perspective to know that while we should enjoy our time away from the fire, there are some who are still in the flames.

We cannot circle the flames forever. At some point we need to break free and move forward. We don’t want to get caught in the burning flames so we need to find a way out. We cannot stay in the crucible forever and we need to learn to focus ourselves better. God expects us to fight the fight, and also expects us to love and give. As man it’s hard to juggle sometimes, so we must turn to the words God left for us to find our course. Romans 13:4 “For he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer.” We must fight when we must fight, but when it’s time for peace we must learn to also be the peacemaker. We must love all the time, and be just. When we find ourselves focusing on what God wants us to do, we will find we can be far more adaptable. Listen to the voice of truth and find your path.

If you’re a veteran and your circling the fire and you cant seem to break free, find help. Don’t try to do it alone. It’s a dangerous game staying in your crucible forever; instead find your escape back into life. Let yourself live, and let yourself love again. There is life after war, there is life after tragedy. For families who’ve lost their loved ones, for wives who’ve lost their husbands, for kids who’ve lost their parents, life will move on. Don’t let the tragedies you’ve suffered been in vain, instead use it to help others, find a way to share your story, and inspire others to persevere and move forward. Tomorrow will come if we are ready or not. Embrace it, and never forget tomorrow God’s still on the throne.

 

Finding Love This Holiday

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Finding Love This Holiday

It’s been over a year now since my wife separated from me. In that time I have spent an exhaustive amount of time trying to broaden my social life, along with that, I’ve tried to get back into the dating world. It’s not an easy task when you don’t have a solid social life to start with. Getting back out there is hard enough when you have a ton of friends let alone, when you don’t. The most common advice I get is to just be patient and don’t look for it. The other is all in good time. See here’s the thing with that, if I don’t try, it won’t happen. Cause and effect, if I sit at home alone every day people aren’t going to just come to me. In order for me to legitimately find new friends, and perhaps a new relationship, I need to actually be proactive. Nothing happens without work or effort.

Something else I’ve heard far to often is learning to be content being on my own. It literally drives me nuts when people give blanket advice and really have no idea about the whole situation. People like to give advice without thinking of the actual situation someone’s in. There’s a level of isolationism that’s not healthy, and while isolation isn’t healthy in long exposure, there are times when it’s healthy. When you are feeling vulnerable like a live wire isolation is the worst thing for you. When you go through a divorce or separation, the experts say to have a healthy budding social life, not to isolate yourself. While there is something to be said about self-reflection during times like that, that’s not the same thing as not getting out or going anywhere. If you only go out once every 3 months or so, and you don’t spend time with people in between any of that, it’s likely the effects of isolation will be more detrimental then the ability to pull positive lessons from it.

All that being said, I would like you to think about the type of friend you are, and the type of people who are in your life. Everyone is going through something and while I’m not excusing gross negativity, what I am saying is be empathetic for the blight that has fallen upon your loved ones this year. Everyone endures struggles, but some endure more then others. Some people who are alone this year can find themselves feeling more lonely, and are more likely to fall into depression.

In my own life not only have I fallen into a tough spot to be, but I’ve had a mass exodus of friends, and some close friends in the last year. People in my life I never thought would leave or abandon our friendship have left without so much as a single word of explanation. While it’s true, everything works out for the glory of God, that doesn’t make the sting of disappointment any less, or the heartbreak from loosing people I cared deeply for. It’s not easy loosing people, even if they say it’s for the best. The cause and effect however still remains the same. I know to many people who have suffered great losses this year and can always use a little extra love.

My hope this holiday season is to find someone who truly wants to be with me for me. Someone who cares for me, and the season will end for me, and a new one begins. While I would love to enter in a beautiful relationship, I also want to have a budding social life. I crave social interaction and wish to have a solid group of friends. While I understand I may need to continue to be patient for this, I can still wish for a Christmas miracle. Remember though there are a lot of people out there, and several you would probably find within your own circle of friends. Don’t forget them this year, don’t forget the losses people experience and how that may affect them around the holidays. Try to lift them up and be there for them. It may not be a lot, but for some that little extra effort may be the difference in all the world. I realize people get busy around the holidays, but any extra effort won’t go unnoticed.

 

 

Breaks my Heart

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Breaks my Heart

Going into this holiday season it breaks my heart to think about all those people out there who are suffering, who’ve lost everything, who feel hopeless. It breaks my heart to think about all those people who are without homes, without family, and have so much less then I do. I was just in Hawaii and the number of homeless is staggering. I’ve been all over the world and I’ve seen what poverty looks like up close. I’ve seen homes made of mud and no floors. I’ve seen houses made of scrap metal and tin, and we in America take for granted many of the gifts we have. It breaks my heart those who suffer from heartbreak this time of year. How many people suffer through divorce, or death, or loss of jobs this time of year? This time of year is hardest on people, and also the most joyful, but we can’t forget what it’s all about.

 

It’s hard being alone not having someone to share this time of year with. I miss going Christmas shopping, and cuddling by the fire watching Christmas movies. I miss sharing a glass of eggnog, and awaiting the look on my love’s face when they open the perfect gift. It’s a hard time for me this year, and even as hard as it is for me, I know others, many, many others, have it so much then myself. I feel more connected to the suffering of others this year then I have in the past.

 

This time of year we remember the goodness in our lives. We remember that the Son of the Lord was born and we celebrate the birth of our Savior. We celebrate the birth of a Child that would grow to take our sins upon himself and pay for our sins in innocent blood. The Lord blesses us every day and we often take those blessings for granted. When I look at all the suffering in this world I feel so small, what can I possibly do?

 

When I was in Hawaii recently I looked around and realized how blessed I was. I was in a wonderful place, with beautiful caring people, and I thought about those who where far worse off then me. All we can do is believe that God’s in charge and have faith that it’s working out. We have the ability to change the lives of those around us, if we just have the eyes and the heart to fight for change. We can’t always change or save everyone, but we can try.

 

Remember this time of year isn’t about the shiny baubles, the gifts, the shiny lights and colors, it’s about the good will towards your fellow neighbors. It’s about celebrating the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. We need to take a step back from the commercials, the drive to shop till you drop, and all the other things that draws your attention from the true beauty of our holiday. Of course enjoy the holiday and all that goes will, just make sure you don’t loose that focus. Take a little thought and pray for those who are less fortunate. It’s cold this time a year and there are families without food, without heat, and many without a home. Pray for them, and do something nice. Good will towards your fellow humans. Be kind, and be generous.