How Can We Love If We Don’t Know What Love Is?

How Can We Love If We Don’t Know What Love Is?

Have you ever been in love? Have you ever been so in love you’d lay down your very life to protect theirs? Love is a wonderful and a dangerous thing all at the same time. Love can cause us to do things of great beauty and it can also cause people to do crazy dangerous things that would be considered sinful. I was recently listening to a song by Michael Bolton called When A Man Loves A Woman and it talks about how far a man would go.

When A Man Loves A Woman By: Michael Bolton

When a man loves a woman

Can’t keep his mind on nothin’ else

He’d trade the world

For a good thing he’s found

If she is bad, he can’t see it

She can do no wrong

Turn his back on his best friend

If he puts her down

When a man loves a woman

Spend his very last dime

Trying to hold on to what he needs

He’d give up all his comforts

And sleep out in the rain

If she said that’s the way

It ought to be

Scripture goes into great lengths about what love is. I have lived this life and have seen true horrors. I have had many run ins with death and it has given me a perspective and a personal position you don’t see very often with most people. As I have come close to death many times I have grasped onto those in my life and I’ve held on tightly. I treasure my friends and I would feel a deep loss when one would decide to move on. I have watched as many friends have walked away, and worse, women I have loved. I have held on tightly and when it’s ended, I have often felt as if I’d lost a piece of myself. I grew up searching for love. I grew up hoping to find someone to love and want me in their life. I have often been the one left behind for one reason or another, but I am the one picking up the pieces of a broken heart. I have always thought I held love in my heart to the T of what we are taught love to be. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.”

What does all this mean? When we love one another we must let go of our pride, our need to be the center of attention. We must learn it’s not a feeling. Love is an emotional charge at first, but as it grows, it must become more. Love must be more then a feeling because if we base our life on only feelings we’d be in trouble. We would be making decisions without reason. Love however is something we do. Loving someone is an action we must participate in every day. Love is how we treat people every single day. When we truly break down every sentence in 1 Corinthians we must truly let that sink in. We must truly allow ourselves to realize that love isn’t about self. John 15:13“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” As a soldier I would have given my life for any one of my brothers or sisters in arms. As a husband I was willing to give my life for my wife, not once but twice. I always thought about their safety before my own. I’m not a perfect man, but I always wanted their happiness to be a priority for me. I was willing to give up my own pride, my own dreams, my own desires to satisfy the needs of the woman I loved. I knew what love was for me, and I have always maintained my position on love. I’ve been devastated by those whom I’ve loved most dear in this life, but I remain hopeful for the future that one day I might fight someone to love me that much.

In this life people will come and go, but we must learn how precious life is, and make the very best of the time we have. We must learn how to give our hearts to those we have in our life, and trust that even if people never reciprocate our feelings that God always will. People are fickle creatures and some will use you as long as there’s something in it for them, and if someone better is perceived to come along, they may leave. I will say that’s a lie straight from the pit of Hell, and if people are that willing to sacrifice life, sacrifice you in such a way, that’s not love. Love is meant to be stronger then anything, but when in the hands of people who sin, people who are selfish, love can be corrupted by the Devil.

I want to point out one part of the marriage relationship knowing it’s only half of the equation. Ephesians 5:25“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” In the last couple years I’ve seen marriage after marriage fall, and while it comes back to a fundamental failure in loving one another, I will say that we are in sad shape as a human race. We cannot expect anyone to respect us if we don’t respect ourselves. The failure is a widespread epidemic and it needs to be dealt with. As a man I want to touch base on a man’s roll in the relationship. Men, we need to stop focusing on ourselves and realize that we are both the provider, and the leader of our household. We are to lead our home by a position of strength and by example. We must realize that our place is to protect the home at all cost up to ones own life, and that doesn’t mean just from physical threats. Our place is to protect the home from spiritual warfare also. We must show our children how to treat others. We must show our children how to be men, or how men should treat a lady. We should show them how to be friends, show them how to be responsible, and how to live in Christ.

Something I learned a little while back was how damaging the lack of a fathers love could be for a child. As a father we are responsible for loving our wives and children and we are responsible for what they see in their youth. In 2 Samuel we see David have an affair as King. We see him take Bathsheba into his bedchambers knowing she was married to one of his most trusted advisors. We see her get pregnant and instead of coming forward with his sin he plots to make the baby look like Uriah’s. When that plan fails, David then plots to have Uriah murdered. And if plotting wasn’t bad enough, Uriah was moved into a position in the war, on a mission where he would surely die, and he did. David did all this and although we don’t see it in the narrative, we see the actions of David’s oldest child later on down the road. Yesterday I discussed Amnon and how he lusted after his half sister. This was a forbidden relationship by many different laws of the time. When she would not give him what he wanted willingly, he took it by force. In doing this he not only destroyed her life, but threw her out of his chambers with the markings of trash. Who would he have learned that kind of behavior from then his very own dad, the King. The sins of the father are seen reborn in the children.

Love is certainly not an easy thing to do all the time, but we must. Love is hard and takes constant effort, but when we love the way we should, we can see the change in our lives with how others perceive us. Love is the greatest thing we have and it’s in that love we receive grace from God when we never deserve it. It’s in that love we see the sacrifice made by Jesus for us on Calvary’s Cross. We can never do enough to earn our own way into Heaven, but it’s by the Love of God and the grace and ransom paid by God’s only Son Jesus Christ, that we see the true meaning of love. How do we live our lives? How do we treat those in our circle of influence? Do we love them, or do we treat them with a casual indifference?

We only get one chance in this world to make positive connections with people. Sure we may not get along with everyone we meet, but we are still obligated to show love and respect to one another. We must learn and have a solid understanding of what true love really is. If we are to have respect for the word we need to understand how we ought to behave. Love is not a word we should toss around lightly. It’s something that demands respect of the word and those whom we tell we love, demand respect for them. Don’t confuse love for lust, and don’t be swayed by the world idea that you can fall out of love. If it was real love, and it was taken care of like love should be, there should be no way to fall out of love. Divorce should not be as rampant as it is. If we would love the right way from the start many marriages would never happen to begin with, and people would find their true compatibility with a higher rate of success. Love is not a children’s recess word, it’s something special, something sacred, and we need to stop downplaying its true meaning. Love truly does concur all.

 

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Sinking Together

Sinking Together:

I might need someone to be there for me tonight. I might need someone to tell me it’s all right. I might need someone to take the first step and come rescue me. Tonight I find it so hard to breath. What’s left for me to say, but I feel like I’m in a sinking ship of emotional stress and I am reaching for anyone to rescue me. I don’t want to be alone tonight. I feel as if I’m on a sinking ship and I wish sometimes I wasn’t alone in this boat. The thing is though, if I brought someone else into my boat, they would sink right along with me.

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2 Samuel 13 A man by the name of Jonadab offered advice to Amnon one of King David’s sons. Amnon was infatuated with his half sister. She was a virgin and he lusted after her so intently that it made him sick. Jonadab was a smooth talker and instead of throwing a line to Amnon, he got in the sinking boat with him. The advice given was to lure Tamar into Amnon’s bedchamber and try to persuade her that she needed to lay with him to make him better. Of course this horrible sinful advice for so many reasons, I don’t think I need to actually go into detail as to why.

The truth about hurting people hurt others are undeniable. The same goes with the saying, ‘misery loves company.’ While I don’t want to bring anyone down with me, I struggle to go day in and day out without once in a while letting my voice out. Usually a post like this would talk about the dangers of following someone down a troubled path. For example, if you are friends with someone who really wants to rob a bank, and when they talk you into being their accomplice, that’s the kind of thing where you’re getting into a sinking ship and just poking more holes in the bottom. Stay away from temptations and trouble. Stay in the bible and when or if someone comes to you, stop giving him or her opinionated advice. Go to the one place that truly tells you right and wrong, scripture.

I find myself wishing for someone to come with me not to join me in a sinking ship, but to help plug the holes. I have found myself avoiding the Jonadab’s in my life. I have gotten advice to do some pretty deep sinful things because ‘it’ll make me feel better.’ The thing I see with the advice is the aftermath. If I take advice like that I will only cause my boat so sink faster. If someone is willing to give you bad advice like that, they aren’t your friends. If you’re willing to take advice like that, you need to reevaluate your life choices. Some people just enjoy chaos, and you will need to remind yourself the kind of Christian you want to be. Do not conform to this world, but find your path in Christ and renew that path every day by staying in the word of God. It isn’t always easy, and some days you’ll nearly tip your boat, but you can always right your ship and keep sailing along this thing called life.

 

 

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Are You Crazy?

Are You Crazy?

Acts 14:19-20“19 But Jews came from Antioch and Iconium, and having persuaded the crowds, they stoned Paul and dragged him out of the city, supposing that he was dead. 20 But when the disciples gathered about him, he rose up and entered the city, and on the next day he went on with Barnabas to Derbe.” Paul has been going from city to city proclaiming the word of Jesus Christ. He has been teaching and preaching in the synagogues but as usual the Pharisees didn’t take to kindly to being shown the error of their ways, so they decided to turn the crowd and attempt to commit murder. Can you imagine yourself in Paul’s shoes? Poor guy has been beaten, stoned, ship wrecked, tortured, imprisoned, and all the while probably had more aches and pains and illnesses then we could ever imagine. Even with all this he carried on, pushed through, and not only continued to preach the word of Jesus Christ, but returned to cities in which recently tried to kill him. The ability to stand up to your enemies in the face of tremendous dangers, and yet to have that kind of faith to overcome fear with glorious courage is the embodiment of a true hero.

Acts 14:22“strengthening the souls of the disciples, encouraging them to continue in the faith, and saying that through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God.” There is always a price to be paid and sometimes that price is higher then others. Look at all your favorite super heroes and see what they’ve had to give up to go out into the public and save lives, stop crime, and sometimes save the very world itself. It takes a special kind of person to run towards danger, and we see this in our emergency services personnel and in our military every day. How passionate are you about the Lord? How passionate are you about your eternal salvation? It’s so easy to say you know the Lord, and say you’re saved, and that you know you’re going to Heaven, but to not share the excitement is simply a travesty. A man bought and paid our salvation with His own blood and here we sit idly by as sin plagues our friends and families. We allow evil to rise up all around us and we do nothing.

When I was hearing the scripture here in Acts 14 I couldn’t help but imagine the image of Superman. The S on his chest meaning hope, and that Superman stands for Truth, Justice and The American Way. If Paul were to have a suit his would undoubtedly hold the cross. The cross is true light, the true symbol of hope. The cross that encompasses the trinity, the heart, and the blood spilt to earth so we might be free. What are you willing to do for your freedom? What would you be willing to give so you might embrace your destiny to walk with Christ in Heaven? Would you Risk your life for what you believed in? As a spiritual leader, persecution, revile, and hatred will come to you from every direction.

As a Christian it’s up to you to wear that cross proudly and visibly for the world to see. Do not hide behind the cross, and do not show offence to it. The cross is liberation, not enslavement. Do not hide behind fear. A hero will step into the light to shine brightly for all the people to see. I am reminded of an episode of the Flash (Spoilers Ahead)where Barry Allen goes to Oliver Queen the Arrow for advice on being a hero. To be a hero you’d have to be a little crazy to put yourself in harms way all the time for strangers. Knowing any minute you might not go home to your loved ones in the service of others. Knowing you can sacrifice everything you are in this world for a cause you believe for so deeply is a little nuts. I submit to you though, if you love Christ as much as I do, then you’d probably do some pretty crazy things too. I think we should all be crazy in love for Jesus. When we love Christ that much we take the command for the Great Commission seriously. Get out there and be a little crazy for Christ. If Paul would be willing to get stoned and in less then a year return to that very city to preach again, we should be willing to at the very least stand up and proclaim who our true hero is, Jesus Christ.

Barry Allen:“I’m just not sure I’m like you, Oliver. I don’t know if I can be some… vigilante.”

Oliver Queen:“You can be better, because you can inspire people in a way that I never could, watching over your city like a guardian angel… making a difference… saving people… in a flash. Take your own advice: Wear a mask.” (The Flash Pilot Episode)

See, Oliver Queen was doing what he felt his city needed to be saved. Sometimes Oliver’s methods were a little rough around the edges, and weren’t exactly the gold standard for being a hero, but the Flash, could be different. The Flash, much like Paul would stand out as more then the average hero. Even in the midst of tremendous adversity and danger, both would stand on the morals that guided them and would never relent. Both would stand tall and show the world a better way. When we look to our neighbors, our brothers and sisters, do we see anyone in our life that shows that level of integrity? We can’t even make our own right decisions, and yet we call ourselves Christians. We spit on the cross and we turn our backs on it regularly. We deny the cross when it’s convenient to save ourselves from standing apart in the crowd. We are no heroes, we are the villains. We are the mob that turned on Christ just days after greeting the savior with palms and cheers, and love and praises. We are the ones who love the free hand outs, and then when it’s time to listen we turn our backs. When it’s time to hear the truth we would prefer living in our world of free stuff, and never being held accountable for our actions.

Who are we going to be from this day going forward? Are we going to be the mob that caused the nails to go into our saviors hands, or are we going to be the man who took being stoned and beaten over and over again standing up for the name of Christ? We should stand up for Truth, Justice and Godly Light.

 

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Life and Liberty

Life and Liberty:

A road changes, merges in the lanes of traffic, and the symphony of people coming and going crescendos. We come and go, managing the chaos the best we know how. We merge left, then fight, and the traffic smoothes. The ebb and flow maintains serenity as a pattern courses through the very veins of our lives. Freedom is the umbrella we all live under, and yet, as we have the power to life and liberty, it’s the pursuit of happiness that eludes many. Why do we find in a country with overwhelming amounts of wealth, do so few actually obtain happiness? I think one key factor to happiness is we as Americans don’t truly appreciate what we have, and thus, we are always reaching for what we don’t have. If we are driving in traffic, and we have no set destination, how then are we able to set course? I for one have struggled for many years finding the road in which I was meant to take. Although I encountered traffic jams over and over in my life, and even a few 10-car pile-ups, I would not have finally found the correct expressway. Proverbs 3:5-6Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

The Lord will guide us, and smooth our path. We must trust in the process however, because we don’t always see or understand the why. We always have the ability to throw ourselves off the rails, and when we do, we cannot be surprised when the off road adventure ends in disaster. It’s in those moments when we fall flat on our face it’s in Psalms we find our shortcomings. Psalm 37:23-24“The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand.” Have you ever considered your GPS when it redirects you because you made a wrong turn, which is kind of like God telling you, you’re off course? I have often considered myself a constitutionalist trusting and believing in our founding documents held no higher except by the Holy Bible. I spent years getting ready for military service, and then years in service of this country. During that time I swore an oath to uphold those documents and fight any enemy that sought to destroy them. During that service I had the distinct honor to fight along side heroes. Those heroes all came to the fight for different reasons, but we found something in common, something no one would ever be able to take from us, brotherhood/sisterhood. We found family and in one of the most dreadful places, I realized happiness was found in life itself.

We recently celebrated Memorial Day, and I have had mixed feelings for this particular holiday now for many years. On one hand I love being able to celebrate the beautiful lives that have loved this country so much that they fought for and died in the pursuit of keeping this blessed nation safe and free. It takes a lot of effort to keep a nation free after more then 200 years. We’ve always been lucky here in the United States by having natural boarders that limits the ability of an aggressive nation to wage war on our shores. Sadly the world is a lot smaller then it used to be and enemies no longer grow from afar, but live right here in our very neighborhoods, and have begun to attack our way of life. The constitution and our flag now mean very little to so many citizens who live here, and I’ve seen as homegrown terrorism has sprouted like weeds in the garden. I’ve seen schools become battle grounds instead of places of education, and as one person after another disrespects the flag, I am sickened as I think how many of my brothers and sisters have been under one, buried after serving this great nation. I have not only lost friends during time of war, I have given the eulogy for friends lost in combat. Memorial day is a special day for us in this country to stand in honor of the fallen men and women who’ve given their lives so that we may stand and have life, liberty, and pursue happiness.

Happiness is found within life itself. Happiness isn’t the next raise, the next beer, or the fancy car. It’s not the next girlfriend, or the bigger house, or whatever you can fill in the blank: “If I only had ______ I would be happy.” You see, if you didn’t put Jesus in that blank you’re never going to find happiness in stuff. Happiness is knowing Christ, and finding yourself content in whatever situation you find yourself in. Happiness is seeking and trusting in God and not wanting, that you may have peace in your life. Psalm 23:1 “The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.” We know the Lord will always provide, and Paul knew also. Philippians 4:11“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” As I have watched in horror as people I cared for died in war, I found that happiness was found in life itself. I found happiness in relationships, in the people we have in our lives. I have found how important relationships are because they are short. I have found how important appreciating your blessings, because life can change in a moments notice. Where do you find your happiness? Are you still pursuing happiness, or have you figured out what true happiness is? Life is to short and we must embrace the time we have. Love, and live because the day may come when you look back and realized the importance of time itself and the people around you is what makes life special.

 

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Port Holes

Port Holes: 

Life as we see it can be so narrow, so limiting based on our own feeble perceptions. Not long ago I was on a boat tour of Cape Cod and while I was below deck I found some old fashioned port holes and while I looked out I realized how small and narrow the view was. It got me thinking about our own view of life and how we sometimes view life through portholes of our own doing because we don’t want the full view.

When we are in the middle of the forest sometimes it’s hard to see the grand scale of the world around us. When I was below deck and I was looking through that tiny window I started thinking how bad the view was. I decided to brave the weather and go back up top. When I got there I looked around at the cape and realized how beautiful it was. The catch was however that it was uncomfortable on deck since the wind was heavy and it was quite cold. Is that the way life is sometimes? We choose our narrow view because we feel it’s better then the alternative? I think there are many reasons we would choose to limit ourselves to the world around us. Some reasons for living below deck can be emotional pain, voluntary ignorance, sheltered lifestyle, and maybe even fear.

2 Corinthians 4:18“as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” Life isn’t easy but often we bring our own struggles to our front door. We see what we want to see and accept what we want. We want to feel we have a free pass to sin and ignore the consequences. We want to believe what we do and ignore any evidence that may prove us wrong. We want to walk our own path and we alienate anyone that tries to help, to include God.

Life isn’t as easy as taking a few steps to the top deck and all of a sudden everything is crystal clear. Life is far more complicated then that, and so is the puzzle that makes up our perspectives. We can only remind ourselves to remain faithful and trust in the Lord. We will often go through our day-to-day life with the perception that our way is right and others are wrong. We will allow fear to guide our actions, because we don’t want to face that fear so we avoid it. We want to think we are in control of our own path, that we don’t have to answer to anyone else, and we let whatever we want to influence our decisions. We want to believe that we know what’s best for us, and we push away anyone that might have the courage to tell us differently. Proverbs 14:12“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.[a]”

We must resist going through life looking through tiny portholes. We must learn to take the chance and view the world with unobstructed eyes. We must learn to recognize our own path and determine if we are missing out on so much more. There are often people in our life that try to help us, and we must have the wisdom to listen rather then close ourselves off from the world. We must learn to live in the world with eyes wide open yet never conforming to it. We must learn to see the truth instead of hiding from it. We must learn to come to God and trust that God wants us to see the troubles of this world, to see the sick in this world, to see the downtrodden, and the weak, because we are God’s hands and feet. We cannot make a difference if we hide below decks. We cannot expect to preach about the world if we have never seen it. When Jesus spoke he was accepted to have authority. We must get out from our shadows and experience the world, see the world so we may one day have the ability to stand up and preach to the world with authority. We must never conform to it, but if we are to speak we should speak from knowledge. Be sure to speak with truth on subjects you ought to speak of and those you don’t, leave alone. You may not have the protection on deck as you do below, but if you are the captain of your own ship, then as Captain Kirkonce said,“Risk is part of the game if you want to sit in that chair.” Take a chance and step out from the shadows. See the world for the good, the bad, and the ugly. We may get hurt, we may fall, and we may have great stories to tell, but we don’t experience anything looking through that tiny porthole.

 

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Divorce

Divorce:

Divorce is something that’s found pretty often in our society now. Divorce affects more then 50% of all marriages, and that is either a lot of happy people celebrating the breaking of those bonds, or the flip side, the broken hearted who are trying to pick up the pieces of what’s left behind. When you put everything you have into fixing the hole in the ship, and no matter what you’ve tried to do, you realize it’s going to sink no matter what, the despair that fills your heart is sometimes more then you feel you can take. I spent the better part of the last two years trying to keep from facing the day I’d stand in front of a judge and hear those four words, ‘Judgment of Divorce Granted” No amount of time in the world can prepare you for the sinking feeling that takes over deep down in your stomach. I have tried to detach myself from any feeling, but I’m just not built that way. I have always given people second, third, and more chances after they’ve screwed up. I have always been the type of person to let people take advantage to a point because I felt I might eventually get through. All that time I’ve spent trying to fix my marriage, and to watch it still end this way, it’s hard not to feel the whispers of failure creeping in. Matthew 5:32“But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” From this point on, I will be judged by everyone I encounter as a twice-divorced man. I am the survivor of two separate affairs and sadly I will be judged negatively by most as if I were the cause of the affairs.

In the months since my separation I have been blamed by strangers who never knew me nor my situation. It’s not easy having to tell anyone I’ve been married twice, and waiting for their response, which often sounds of surprise, and wondering if they should be talking to me anymore. Some people are polite, and others aren’t. I have walked this path before, but this time has been different. This time it’s been harder, and the recovery hasn’t been as easy. In life though, I would submit, nothing worthwhile is easy. It may take time, even years, but some day, the broken will rise up and sing Hallelujah and be free from the pain that once chained them to sorrow. No matter how long it takes we must never give up hope, and we must never forsake our relationship with God. We must never rise to God in anger at the sinful choices of man or women. We have free will and people fall to sin. It happens even if we wish it didn’t. All we can do is pick ourselves up after a time to grieve and learn to stand all over again.

 

Tell Your Heart to Beat Again: By, Danny Gokey

You’re shattered

Like you’ve never been before

The life you knew

In a thousand pieces on the floor

And words fall short in times like these

When this world drives you to your knees

You think you’re never gonna get back

To the you that used to be

 

Tell your heart to beat again

Close your eyes and breathe it in

Let the shadows fall away

Step into the light of grace

Yesterday’s a closing door

You don’t live there anymore

Say goodbye to where you’ve been

And tell your heart to beat again

 

 

I can’t undersell this song when you find yourself feeling heart broken. This song brings the feeling to life. Everything for your good, is referring to God. In every situation we find ourselves, God is working it out so we will be all right in the end. Proverbs 28:20 “A faithful man will abound with blessings, but whoever hastens to be rich will not go unpunished.”This isn’t just referring to monetary wealth, but riches referring to any objects of our affection. Don’t take shortcuts because we will never truly appreciate what we have if we cheat our way to the top. We must remain strong in the storm. We must stand our ground when the Devil pushes us. We must remain vigilant as the serpent slithers all around us in the shadows. We must remain true to who we are and if we are a follower of Christ, then that truth is the light we stand on. Make sure that whatever you’re going through you try to maintain who you are in Christ.

Lean on your friends and family in your time in need. Take time to digest what’s happened, and prepare yourself for the battles ahead. There will be days that hurt like you wouldn’t believe, and then days you feel on top of the world, free as an eagle. The journey can be turbulent so prepare for it. Find yourself ways to keep occupied. Sitting at home sulking will only delay your healing and it’s not good for you. You may want to take a couple days, and that’s fine, but much more then that, and you will find yourself sinking into depression. Get out, stay active, and talk about it. Don’t be afraid to get out your anger, frustrations, sadness, and hurt. Find friends who will allow you to express yourself, and your feelings, because we have them for a reason. I don’t tell you all this as a cookie cutter self help aid, I say it from experience. I didn’t have the means to go out much after my ex-wife left, and I sat in the house for months alone, sulking in my own sorrow. It stunted my healing process, and the struggle to get better was very real.

Find new hobbies, things you like to do, that make you feel good about yourself. Often when you are the one being divorced it’s hard. You will question yourself and ask what you did wrong, why would they leave you, if you’re a good person, if you’re attractive enough, all kinds of questions and doubts will flood your mind but you have to realize Satan lies, and those feelings are lies. One person’s sinful action does not, and never will determine who you are. You are the child of a King and you are royalty to Heaven. You must find people who will help lift you up, remind you, who you are, and most importantly, you will need to remind yourself who you are. You can overcome those negative feelings slowly at a time, but you cannot do that if you sit around and push everyone away. You need people in your life because it’s in our fellow Christians we will find counsel and comfort in when going through these hard times. Allow others to help you carry your burden, and one day you will pay it forward for someone else.

Don’t give up hope, because even though the journey seems long, and hard, and it will be painful for a large portion of your struggle, the day will come you will realize it doesn’t quite hurt so bad anymore. Keep up moving every day, and let every sunrise be a new day pushing out the path from the day before. We cannot choose how anyone else acts or behaves, but we can choose how we deal with it. We choose what to feed our brains with, and we choose the type of person we want to be. Never give up on yourself because God will never give up on you. Keep pushing forward and always remember God first, everyone else second. Work on your relationship with God. Study scripture in your times of troubles. Look up the story of Job, the story of Jeremiah, and even the early story of David. Each of these individuals had challenges, and struggles, and in their individual ways, they found how to receive the blessings from God. Remaining faithful and trusting in the Lord is the best thing you can do. It won’t be easy, but every day will be the best attempt you can give. Don’t loose sight of the end, and never feel you are a failure. We all fall, but the true measure of a person is how you get back up. Always get back up and keep marching on. Don’t allow your strength to fail, and certainly don’t turn away from God. Know your enemy and it isn’t the Lord. Remember in all times people are sinners and will eventually let you down. Pray for them, and don’t stop loving them. As for me, my ex made some awful hurtful decisions, but I refuse to hold a grudge. Apologies have been said, and olive branches extended. Love concures hate every time. Living in peace and love is a choice. Krystal may no longer be my wife, but never will I give up on someone who made such an impact in my life. Forgiveness isn’t a suggestion, and if we can live in peace, we should. Be big enough to pray for those who hurt you, and help by always being a light in the darkness.

 

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Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde:

Galatians 5:16-18“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.”

The battle of good and evil rages on in the world. The spirit is the good, and sin is the evil. The dueling sides that we struggle with can be seen battling inside each and every one of us. I recently heard and old Cherokee proverb of two wolves.

 

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

 

Of course as I often use pop culture references, I would like to point out the DC character Two Face. Two Face is a split personality. He lives with a physical representation of the battle inside. Batman Forever has the representation of the Angel side, and the Devil side. When sin wins for those who follow Christ, they should feel the conviction of that sin, and thus feel guilty for their sinful behavior. This doesn’t always happen however, and with no one to be held accountable to, often times, sin builds upon itself until you are crushed under the weight of your own choices. Of course another reference for this is Dr. Jekyll, and Mr. Hyde. A serum which caused the transformation from a good man, to a sadistic killer, was the premise to the book written by Robert Louis Stevenson. While we don’t need a serum to cause the demons to come out, we can see how quickly one wrong sinful act can turn a loving spouse to an adulterer. We have seen good men turn cold, and turn cruel overnight. Sin is the serum in which we consume without thought of what it might turn us into.

Every day of our lives we are under the constant attack, and we make choices, which lead and dictate our very path. How we choose to handle each decision is a testament to our witness in Christ. Are we allowing ourselves to sin freely with no worry of the wake left behind by that sin? We have the ability to fight the battle waging on inside each and every one of us. It’s not easy taking every choice and holding it to biblical scrutiny, but that’s exactly what we need to do to stay on the right path with God. Living in the world of sin is difficult for those who try to live in Christ. There are millions of different flavors of sin, and more ways then ever to indulge in sinful activities. Every day the shield of faith is peppered with the sinful arrows from the Devil. Every day we are under attack and some times a few of those arrows slip through and hit us right in the heart. I’ve watched people fall victim to temptations of the flesh and destroy everything they worked hard for. In our lives we must be cautious of the worlds choices and the worldviews. With so many ways to fall under the sin bus, we need to be always vigilant. We must push back that inner Devil voice that’s sitting on our shoulder whispering the lies in our ears.

In John 8 Jesus is teaching at the Temple. The Pharisees confront him and they attack his teachings as they had done before. Jesus responds that they are slaves to their father, and they are fathered to the world, which is in Sin, that they would remain in that sin unless they changed their position. They argued that they were sons of Abraham, but Jesus condemned their words. John 8:40-44 “40 but now you seek to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God. This is not what Abraham did. 41 You are doing the works your father did.” They said to him, “We were not born of sexual immorality. We have one Father—even God.” 42 Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and I am here. I came not of my own accord, but he sent me. 43 Why do you not understand what I say? It is because you cannot bear to hear my word. 44 You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” Christ knew they were conspiring to put him to death. He prophesized his own death in front of every, and he proclaimed that those who do not seek Him as son of the father, would surely remain slaves to the sin, and would not follow him to Heaven.

We all struggle with our duality because it’s the nature of living in a sinful world. Just because we are sinners, doesn’t mean we don’t have a choice on our sinful decisions. While we won’t always get it right, we must seek God first, and always ask for forgiveness of our failings, and seek to be repentant in our days after sin. It’s not an easy walk following Christ, but we must keep up our shield and defend against the lies of the Devil. We must remain vigilant and never become complacent. As the old Marine saying goes, ‘complacency kills,’ and it does. Always keep up the fight, and resist the million flavors of temptations that surround you every day. It may seem like the odds are always staked against you, but “If God is for you, then who shall be against you?” Let God be on the move in your life, and keep your heart open. Stay away from the duality of the struggle between good and evil, and just kick the evil out. Follow Christ so that the body feels repugnant of Sin. Be convicted in your walk, and stand fast, stand your ground, and dig your armored cleats into the dirt and hold that line. Tell the Devil the line has been drawn in the sand and “The line must be drawn here, this far, no farther.” (Captain Picard)

 

Resources:

http://www.virtuesforlife.com/two-wolves/

 

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God Are You There?

God Are You There?

Have you ever prayed and wondered if your prayers are being heard? In my life I’ve wondered just that. Scripture tells us that God hears every thought, every whisper, every cry, and angry outburst, but sometimes it’s felt as if my pleas have landed on deaf ears. I’ve been down to the woodshed more times at the receiving end of life’s cruel lessons. I’ve been beaten, betrayed, and kicked while I was down. Through it all I’ve prayed, and still I was burdened with shackles of pain and suffering. I have called upon my Heavenly father time and time again, and I have waited for an absolution, sometimes that would never come.

I have walked a long way, and still I have struggled from time to time to trust in where God leads me. I feel as if I’m lead into the valley more often then I am peaceful streams, or green pastures. I have tried to live a life as a sinner in a world where I would still make Abba proud of me. I have prayed for many years for the blessings in my heart, and yet still to this day I am missing desires. I turn to scripture in my time of need in hopes to find what I seek. James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”We must have trust in the Lord that despite our shortcomings, and despite the hardships we face, the Lord our God is always by our side. 2 Chronicles 7:14“if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” God will bless us, but first we need to realize how important that open door relationship is.

God is not first and foremost a cosmic genie for our amusement. God is not a universal Santa Clause to give us the gifts of our hearts whenever we ask for them. God is our father, our creator, and should be treated as such. God answers to no one, and we are but a speck of infinitesimal dust to God. God loves us, but we must first open the door. When we are frustrated, scared, or hurting it’s almost a normal reaction to turn to God, but how often do we as a people pray when things are good? How often do we pray to praise and worship our Lord, in times of celebration? “How am I supposed to show love for somebody, over and over and over, who constantly rejects me?”(Fireproof) Is the cross offensive to us? Do we truly understand the Lord and the sacrifice made of us? I understand what was done for me, and I still struggle some days. God is always there waiting for us, but it’s hard sometimes for God to help us when we don’t want His help. We are stubborn, we are ungrateful, and we rarely show God the gratitude of a people that has been given life itself.

We expect God to be there for us in our times of crises but we reject him every other day of the year. We expect God to grant us our selfish desires, our prayers, which we pray for the wrong reasons. Luke 18:1“And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart.” We must not loose heart for the Lord to hear us when we pray for the right reasons. We must not be selfish in our lives, but servants of Christ. We must try to be pure of heart, and when we come to allow Jesus into our hearts, then, the Lord will be there to bless us for our hard works in his name. It’s not about how much we put into a plate, or how many times we go to the homeless shelter, it’s the reasons we do it. Are we doing it to try to rack up cosmic brownie points, or do we do it because we are truly called to do so? Pray and be faithful to the Lord, and never loose heart. Pray and be heard when you remove yourself and let God in. James talks about praying with the wrong motives and how dangerous it can be. We must turn to God every day in the storm, in the celebration, in the sun or in the snow. Pray because as Jesus commended his Spirit to the Lord for us, we should be on our knees in gratitude because we would be nothing but walking dead had Jesus not given his blood for us. God’s there, and He’s listening, but are you asking the right questions? God’s always there for us, but are we letting God into our hearts? It’s a choice we must make, and when God calls upon us, do we look at the number and decide to ignore the phone? I’d be willing to guess, most people do. Imagine how much better this world would be if we would take a moment and let God speak to us. The choice is yours though, the power of free will says you don’t have to listen to God at all, but what an opportunity you’re missing out on. Pick up the phone, and listen when God calls.

 

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Cape Cod Soldier Ride

Cape Cod Soldier Ride

Hello everyone, it’s a pleasure to be back and I look forward to hearing from all of you. As you probably noticed I was gone for a few days, and let me tell you why. I am a combat Army veteran. I served in Iraq where I was wounded in a non-combat incident. Since that time however we learned I suffered a spinal injury and I was slowly watching my discs degrade and the curvature change in my C-Spine (neck). Last year I suffered a major spinal injury when a disc ruptured nearly ending in Meningitis. Since that time I have gotten involved with different veteran organizations and the one that’s been the most helpful to date is Wounded Warrior Project. In February I talked about going on a Project Odyssey, and this last week I attended a Soldier Ride up in Cape Cod Massachusetts. I’d like to take a moment to talk about how impactful these types of events are, and what they’ve done for me.

A soldier ride is a semi long distance bicycle ride designed to push your challenge level, but also give you time to connect with other wounded warriors. It’s designed to build comradery. For me being a wounded warrior with an upper back injury I was put on a Recumbent trike. I was able to ride in comfort as far as my back was concerned but found that the bike is unforgiving on any up grade hills. It was a challenge not to be understated.

Cape Cod Soldier Ride 2

I had the privilege of leading the way the first day. I was able to set the pace, and leading from the front I can’t tell you how much of an honor it was for me to finish strong. The weather conditions weren’t favorable for this ride, but that was alright with me. “What’s life without a little challenge. We can never reach our potential without adversity.“ (Arrow Preacher) I found the challenge to be just enough. The hills, the distance, the rain, all pushed the mental challenges as well as the physical. For many, being on a bike after so many years they found challenges in other areas, such as riding on that upright bike seat for instance. For many this seat pushed their physical challenges (leaving their bottoms back on the trail) and their mental state, as they tried to overcome their discomfort. Although everyone faced challenges of their own, no one quit, no one gave up, and everyone finished strong. I was able to watch as everyone behind me crossed that finish line faster then any group had before on that particular trail. We as warriors lived the warrior code. Every single person was positive, they were encouraging their brothers and sisters, and never did anyone ever quit the fight. To me this embodied 2 Timothy 4:7I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” Even at the end for me, as I struggled, I found help from my brothers and sisters as they were literally giving me a push to help me keep pace. I cannot thank those warriors enough for the encouragement, the physical sacrifice as they put their hard energy into helping me keep up the fight. But everyone contributed in their own way, and every single veteran should hold their head with pride and honor for what they accomplished this week.

A soldier ride isn’t just about two days of 20 plus miles for bike rides equaling just more then 40 miles total, it’s also about the connection with other veterans who’ve seen trials and tribulations in the name of service to their country. A soldier ride allows us to connect with one another building our support structure, and building relationships that will hopefully stay with us the rest of our lives. It’s no wonder the name for a group of cyclers is called a peloton because as we warriors embraced the suck in this ride, we also embraced one another building our own peloton for life. We have been given a blessing from God to meet people from all walks of life that share a common bond, and that bond of service can never be broken. We will all move forward in our lives and find ourselves facing the world again, but it is up to us if we choose to face those challenges alone. From this event, and hopefully many more to follow, we will continue to grow, continue to heal, and continue to overcome the many demons we face every single day. Military life isn’t for the faint of heart, and it can leave scars that we carry with us the rest of our lives. These scars are physical, emotional, and sometimes spiritual, but in everything we do now, we have a peloton to lean back on. No matter if you are the soldier on top, or the soldier on bottom as the wounded warrior logo represents, at some point in our lives we will either have been one or the other, or we will be again in the future. It’s never to late to ask for help, and it’s never to late to give help. God has given us the chance to grow, to come together, and to fight a battle together. It’s up to us to use what we’ve learned, and pay it forward to other veterans who haven’t started their recovery yet. Share your experiences, and keep fighting the good fight. Never quit, never surrender, never leave a fallen comrade behind.

 

 

 

Baby Don’t Hurt Me No More

Baby Don’t Hurt Me No More

Hebrews 11:1-3“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. 2 For by it the people of old received their commendation. 3 By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.” We walk by faith because our eyes deceive us. We walk by faith because sometimes we have nothing else. When the world is tops turby and we cannot see, we must trust in the Lord to deliver us. Wherever God has us go we must trust our divine purpose. More then trust the where, is the why. It’s hard, and we often cry out in pain, and we beg it to stop, but in the words of Captain James T. Kirk. “I need my pain!” (The Final Frontier) 

Pain comes to all who walk this Earth. Pain is an inevitablility that we don’t like to think about, but it’s an undeniable reality. Since the fall of Eden in Genesis 3: 19b“till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken: for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”And further Genesis 3:2424 He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim and a flaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life.”God said we would suffer for food for what we have we must forever work hard, Genesis 3:6-7.It wasn’t just sin that entered the world with the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, it was also evil. Now it must be understood that evil existed prior to the fall from Eden. This is seen in the conversation between Satan and Eve. Sin is the gateway to evil in many ways. It’s largely in our own pain comes. When selfish desire out weighs love, people get hurt. When we no longer take into account how our actions affect others, people close to us can get hurt.

In my personal life I have often asked Abba to deliver me from my pain. I have gone to Him in prayer, and begged for absolution. I have often wondered how long I would be made to wait. How I could get to where I needed to be, so I could walk on the right path? I’ve come to realize perhaps my path is to wait. Perhaps what I desire most hasn’t come into my life yet because whomever it is may not be ready in their walk. Realizing this, and trying to look at the bigger picture of life as a Chess game, I realize that in order to mount an attack, or even a defense, pieces need to be moved to the right place, and that doesn’t happen all at once. So I now sit, more patient in my self, and more trusting of the greatness that is God’s plan. Waiting is always the worst and hardest part, especially for those personality types that feel they have to be moving, doing things in order to get what they want.

Being hurt in a relationship is hard. When it seems a love has been destroyed by lust and lies and others sins, it’s impossible not to feel pain. I have a secret for you. Pain can be managed and will diminish in time. When we put our faith in God and trust a path, we can begin to heal. Forgiveness is a big part of healing, but also a major roll in relationships. Without forgiveness, scores are kept, and when arguments ensue that thing you forgot to do 6 years ago is now being used as a weapon. When we feel wounded or trapped we as humans like to lash out with insults designed to cut the deepest. If you don’t want to hurt anymore, I’m sorry to say there’s no quick fix. I recently knew someone that was going through a divorce. They thought they were ready to move forward, and I was sure to ask multiple times if they were ready for that, and every time was a yes. Sadly when the time came and they were connecting with someone they met, the cold feet, fear, and doubt crept in. they bowed out abruptly, and sadly leaving hurt feelings behind.

We may not be able to avoid pain from others all the time, not if we want to actively engage in human relationships. We can however be more careful with whom we get close to. When living in sing actively, it’s like playing hot potato with a grenade. It’s going to go off and anyone in the area will be affected. Ownership of the grenade doesn’t matter anymore because it affects everyone around. Much of our anguish is brought on by our own decisions. When I worked security at a local mall I often saw teenage girls crying in the office waiting for local law enforcement. They were caught shop lifting and now they were going to face those consequences. If you don’t want the pain and embarrassment perhaps doing sinful things isn’t for you.

Our paths change with every decision we make. Our choices are the rudder of our ship. When we sin in a big way we are thrown off course in a big way, but it’s because we threw the wheel knocking ourselves off course. If someone else sins it’s like being hit by a wave. Of course the bigger their sinful choice the bigger the wave. No matter the impact we are still captain of our own ships. We choose how we live our lives by the decisions we make. How we deal with the storms when the come, is still on us, and how well we manage our own ship. While a storm may damage your ship, Jesus says to ‘not to be afraid, for the Lord is with you.’ Do not doubt but be courageous in your walk. Trust in the Lord to lead you wherever you are meant to be. You may travel to the ends of the Earth and fight mighty battles, but god is with you. Do not get stuck in the pain. Instead learn to forgive and keep marching on. Do not grow weary in your grief instead turn that into motivation. Embrace the pain because you must face it to deal with it. One day the pain of this world will end and the day Jesus calls you home. Genesis 15:1“After these things the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision: “Fear not, Abram, I am your shield; your reward shall be very great.” Let God be your shield, your protection, your rock, your foundation.

 

 

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