Tag: Having Faith

Every Contingency

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Every Contingency

As I have spent the last few months preparing for my mid December hiking trip, I have come to realize one very important factor that I am not in control over my destiny. I have tried to plan for every contingency, and the most I plan, the more carefully this plan is thought out, the words of Lenard Snartrun through my mind, “Make a plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan.” How true this statement is, not just for clever heists of Argus held technology, but in all of life. I have tried to think of every contingency, every minor detail of emergency I can think of, but when it comes down to it, I am not in control. Yes, there is a measure of free will, and yes, I am choosing to do this hike, and I am chosen where and when, but in my heart I know God has laid this trip on me for a reason, and I will go with an open heart to hear what God has to say.

 

One does not build a tower without first counting the cost. You do not build without a plan, and you cannot succeed in war without first being prepared for battle. I do not claim to know all that will happen, but I go humbly before the Lord the one who made the woods, and the mountains, and I ask for guidance and clarity and peace along this planning and execution phases.  James 4:13-17 (NKJV)13 “Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; 14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. 15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” 16 But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 17 Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.”

 

While I don’t pretend to know everything, I do think God gives us the ability to think logically and with the gift of intelligence we are able to take in information and process it and we formulate solutions based on the data we have at the time. We aren’t always right and we don’t always use every bit of information we may have available to us, and we may not always come to the right conclusions, but when we walk with God, when we ask ourselves every day what would Jesus do, we are far more likely to get it right, far more often.

 

As I have planned for bad weather, small injuries, fire, food, warmth, wet, wild animals, water, and not just for me but for Riley also, I understand there will be things I will find on the trail I didn’t need, or things I wish I had, but even if this trek in the woods turns out to be a failure then I will learn from that failure and I will do better the next time.

 

A lot of people have asked me why I would be willing to, or even want to do a trip like this, and the answer I have often given seems to be an over simplification, and the true, deeper answer is far more complicated. Death comes for us all, and I often wonder when my time will be. In the last two years I have faced death, and then a life changing back surgery. In that time I have often looked at my life and questioned what I was to learn, what I was giving up and loosing in all of this. I was so focused on what I lost, that I couldn’t see what I can gained. I have gained perspective and insight into a faith I didn’t know I could ever have. I would come to face my past and be forced to dissect it in order to truly heal. I have loved ones I have lost and that I miss. One of my favorite quotes is ‘Living is not for the weak.’ It’s hard being on this side, but this side is important. As much as I miss my loved ones who’ve gone home, I try to keep my focus on the mission, the reason I’m still here. I try not to let my grief distract me from what God wants me to do. I remember that if it were my time to go Home God would take me, and he would have taken me two years ago when I nearly died, but I am still here, fighting the good fight. I do not pray for death, but I am prepared to meet death like an old friend when the time comes.

 

This journey is for me to focus on God, and regain something within myself I lost. This trip is for me to prove to myself that I can still do things I love, even if it’s different from before. This trip is for me to hear God more clearly, to focus on that relationship and get back to a simpler time. Faith is important to me, and knowing that my original route was canceled because the hurricane washed out the bridge, and then me finding the most perfect route I could have ever asked for, Marion to Damascus. The path to Damascus is a long, and difficult one, but much like Paul, the path is meant to be difficult, and even painful to pick away parts of me that I don’t need and make me more like Christ every day. Remember as you move forward in your life it’s good to make plans, to seek Godly counsel, but don’t be so rigid in your plans that you don’t leave room for God to change them. You have to know that the course we set according to Christ will always follow that North Star, but sometimes God sees fit to alter our course slightly and we can’t be upset when those course corrections come. When we realize we aren’t the Captain of our ship, we are more willing to let God be in control and realize we’re just along for the ride. Be wise and trust in God but don’t spend so much time worrying about life even though we are told to plan. It’s okay if God changes the plan because if God changes things for you, it means something better is coming, even if you have to go through the storm first.

God Said and We Must Trust

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God Said and We Must Trust

Genesis 2:1818 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Some days when I feel alone, when I feel discouraged, I think back to what God said and I know that in this season I may be alone, but I must put my faith in God that He has a plan bigger than I can see. It’s not easy going through life without the things we desire most, but if something is truly good for us the Lord will provide when the time is right. Being patient is one of the hardest things we as humans have to do. There are a lot of things I am patient with, but being alone is not one of them. While some people can go their entire lives alone, some people are wired for those human connections. Be strong in your faith, and trust in the Lord. Walk closely with Christ and listen to what the Holy Spirit is telling you. Find your purpose God has planned for you, and always trust in the process. God doesn’t make mistakes, and for every hardship, tragedy, struggle, God is with you working out the details. Do not loose hope, and do not despair, Jesus Christ is the truth, the way, the life. In his death we were given eternal hope, so never fear tomorrow, focus on today, and trust the plan. God

Ask Not What God Can Do For You, Instead Ask What You Can Do For God

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Ask Not What God Can Do For You, Instead Ask What You Can Do For God

When we drop to our knees and pray for our troubles, or our healing, do we ever think to ask God what we can do for Him? Our relationships seems to be one sided pretty often. I know a large number of Christians who don’t evangelize, they don’t even spread the Gospel to friends and coworkers where they can. God has asked very little of us, and even though it’s not much, we still cannot bring ourselves to follow God’s will. We are told to love God, and to go forth and spread the word of God. How can we expect to have God’s grace if we aren’t good stewards of what we’ve been given? Matthew 28:18-20 “18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

I myself have often found myself on bended knee asking God for this and that. I’ve begged for grace, and for significant change in my life. I’ve often found myself focused on what I’ve been asking of God, but I have failed to consider that I may not be doing enough for God. I have been thinking about JFK’s speech nicknamed the Ask Not speech. We are the heirs to the kingdom of Heaven. We as a society have allowed our Christian voice to fall to the wayside. We no longer stand up preaching the Gospel, or evangelizing within our own spaces. “United there is little we cannot do, in a host of cooperative ventures. Divided there is little we can do, for we dare not meet a powerful challenge.” (JFK) As a Christian faith we now find ourselves divided as we rewrite the Gospel, as we preach only bits and pieces. We have forgotten about the great commission, and we no longer keep the Gospel in our very hearts. I hear many people claim to be Christians, yet don’t know scripture. I know many Christians, yet walk a life of the world, and not one in the Lord. Those same people beg God to save them when things get tough. We have spent years walking away, and it won’t change overnight, but we must learn to change, learn to turn around and walk back towards God. “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world, ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man!” (JFK) There comes a time when we must take our concerns to the foot of the cross. “How am I supposed to show love to somebody over and over and over who constantly rejects me?” (Fireproof) Have we truly gotten to a point in our life when we reject Christ? Have we come to a point where we only follow God if we get something out of it? Have we gotten to a point where we walk our own way because we think we are better then God? I think we have. I believe we have a fight ahead of us, and it’s with ourselves. We have walked our path in the darkness, and we’ve expected to be given grace when we don’t show it. I would surmise we are exactly the things we complain our spouses, our friends are towards us. We are stubborn, we are ungrateful, we are foolish, we are foolish, and we are hateful towards the one that matters most, God. We expect to be given rewards because of the works we do. We expect to be given the joys in this world based on the nice things we do for others, that we think our works on this planet means we deserve God’s love and grace. We will never be able to do enough to earn our way to Heaven. “God loves you even though you don’t deserve it, rejected him, spat in his face. God sent Jesus to die on the cross and take the punishment for your sin because he loves you.” (FireProof)

When we truly look at how we are treat God in our lives, I think most of us would say we all fall short to be deserved of the graces of the Holy Spirit. We are all of us, not worthy of that grace, but because of Love we have it. We will never do enough to earn our way into Heaven. We will never be good enough due to our Sin nature to earn the graces of God. The beautiful part is, we don’t have to. We don’t have to rely on our good works to be granted the graces of the Lord, we just need to give up ourselves and we need to give our hearts to the Lord. 2 Corinthians 12 :8-9 “8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” We must learn that God’s love and grace is sufficient. If we want to be in God’s graces we need to allow God into our hearts. How can we expect to be given the deepest desires of our heart, if we turn our back to God? God’s love is never ending; it’s beyond anything we can ever understand. God’s grace and peace are always with us, we just need to open our hearts to it.

With the Great Commission we are told to go out and spread the gospel to all whom we come into contact with. God has given us the tools we need to do His work. Ephesians 4:11-13 “11 And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds[a] and teachers,[b] 12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood,[c] to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ,” In our walk with the Lord we must always be thinking of how we can better Serve the sovereign of the universe. We must also remember to give thanks for all we have. Many people only go to the Lord in prayer when they are in need, but fail to thank God for the little stuff. I have gotten into the habit of praying multiple times a day. Although I sometimes struggle with my prayers to my Heavenly Father, I have to catch myself in my asking for prayers and then wondering what I’ve done to deserve them to be answered. Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” When we the faithful hold true to the faith, and can understand the give and take from God, we will understand that we owe everything to God. It’s in that love from God we understand that we will never be deserved of the grace in which has been given to us.

The Devil preys on those who struggle and those who stumble. It’s much like the cheetah and the gazelle. Although the cheetah is much faster, it’s only when the gazelle makes a mistake that it’s caught. Although the Devil is in our lives every minute of every day, when we remain focused in our walk with God, and keep the Armor secured and tight, will we be able to make it through. Even if we are caught from time to time, the sword and the spear gives us the tools to fight back. As long as we continue to fight back against the raging storms, light will always snuff out the darkness. We must remember we are soldiers for Christ and we must always remain vigilant. Those who walk in the Lord will both have the grace of God and will often be more prepared when the Devil strikes. Trust in the Lord and walk as closely as possible. Remember when we ask what we can do for God, the answer will always be “give it your all.” The struggles that may come when you are walking with God may be far greater then you’d realize, that just means you are more of a threat to the Devil. When you are preaching and teaching God’s word, the Devil will try everything to knock you off balance. Psalms 50:15 “And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.” Nothing in this world is free. If we want something we must be willing to give something. What we are asked to give isn’t much, yet possibly the hardest thing to give. We cannot expect to be given the desires of our hearts if we allow our heart to be poisoned by this world. If we allow everything but God into our heart, then the things we ask for might by very definition be apart of the problem. We must learn to trust in God completely, and turn to God every day for both the big and small things in our life. We must turn to God when things are wonderful, and also when things are in shambles. When we realize we are nothing without God, and we have nothing without God, then and only then will we begin to understand the nature of our trials and tribulations. John 5:30 “I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.” Having faith in the Father is just the first step towards an enlightened peace. We must learn to let go of ourselves and submit fully to Abba. When we do that and we are asking God, “what next” then we will see the fruits of our labor. Have faith, and you will receive your desires, but in all things worthwhile it takes work, and effort. Remember though, the desires of the heart may not be what’s best for you. Just because you desire a Ferrari doesn’t means that’s what’s best for you. Unanswered prayers are sometimes a blessing and not a curse. In your life are you willing to give up your sinful self for the love of Jesus Christ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

I SIT ALONE

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I SIT ALONE

I sit alone, so alone, the pain inside aches and pains that make taking a breath sometimes the most difficult thing I do. I never know what my tomorrow brings because everything I had and everything I knew was pulled away, ripped from me in the most violent way. No pain so emotional has ever hurt so bad, has ever crippled me, but this pain brought me to my knees.

Why I cried out, why me, why again? The past has a hold of me and I just can’t quite let it go. Is it the thought of loosing the woman I loved, or is it being alone? Is it that it didn’t happen once but twice? I don’t truly know what the answer is for myself.

I have done everything I can with what I’ve have at my disposal. The experts say there are a few things that have to happen to allow healing to happen naturally, and in a healthy way. Since then, I haven’t yet found my footing on my path to a new me. A new me, I don’t even know what that truly means. As I’ve struggled to look within to find the man I want to be I haven’t been able to figure that out because I don’t know who I am anymore. The last year of my life has put into question every notion I had about the world and my place in it. I haven’t been able to make headway in moving forward with my life and perhaps that’s the reason I feel like I’m moving in slow motion, I feel like I’m not just moving in slow mo, but I in quicksand. The realistic point of view is things just haven’t worked out yet. The man I am to become is still a work in progress.

While I truly don’t know what my future holds, or what I’m supposed to do, or the life I’m to live, I have to believe that God has a plan for me. A plan to succeed not to fail, not to fall. When someone you love hurts you in that way it can make you question everything about yourself. The darkness can be overwhelming but at some point you must learn to let it go. We must let ourselves heal, and to do that we must tell ourselves we are worth more then our failures. We are worth more then the sum of those who have hurt and abandoned us. We are worth more then the way we have been treated. We can be treated like garbage and thrown away like a beat up used toy. While divorce can cause a whole hurricane of negative feelings, all sorts of traumas happen to people that can cause all sorts of problems. And while I’ve spent a lifetime fighting the fight, I know that sometimes we just need to rest.

We can’t be angry all the time. At some point we have to let go of what fuels our fire and allow the healing to begin. No matter the time that goes by, the ability to start healing, to start letting go is always a possibility. While the pain, the loneliness, the hopelessness, the guilt and fear rage on in our heads like a CD stuck on repeat, we must somehow learn to break the cycle. We all need someone to help us bare that cross when it’s too heavy. We all need someone in our lives to help us along the way.

While I sit alone I wonder where I go from here. While I sit alone I question my place in this world. While I sit alone I miss so much in life. While I sit alone I miss the comforts of companionship. It’s almost like a drug, you have it for so long and it’s gone all of a sudden, gone in the blink of an eye. How could someone you care for, care for you, and betray you like the years prior didn’t matter at all. The truth is, the answers as much as I’ve wanted them done matter. The why isn’t going to change the past, and no matter how hard we may want to, the inevitable realization, life still continues. While I may be alone in my walk without someone, I know that God, my God is with me always. While I can only see a small baby step ahead of me, the future is still left wide open. God will help guide me on my way, and one can only hope that when the time is right, I won’t be alone anymore. That I may be gifted with the family I’ve tried so hard for, only to have them ripped away from me. I’ve never in my life been more disappointed by my loved ones, and as this lesson has been a difficult one to learn, I have learned that even those in our lives we look up too, even then, they can turn out to be someone completely different, someone we don’t recognize. While people come and go out of our life for better or worse we must learn that as there’s a season for everything and we must learn to accept that. If someone value’s you, you will be a priority to them, and if you have someone important to you, you can’t take that for granted. I’ve been close to death a few times and if I’ve learned anything in all that time it’s life is short, and we must value the gift of time we have, and cherish the people you love. We never know when that time may run out.

Taking a Chance On Love

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Taking a Chance On Love

Don’t pass judgment based on others because you never know what awaits you just around the corner. When we are hurt we often try to hide ourselves in a little cave afraid to go out into the day because something out there might try to hurt us again. I often hear people say phrases like, “oh I’ll never get married again.” Or “I’ve given up on men all together.” To me this is presumptuous. The Bible does say to Psalms 118:8 “[It is] better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.” However this doesn’t mean we judge everyone based on one persons failings. Later in the book of Jeremiah 17:5 “Thus saith the LORD; Cursed [be] the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.” Don’t misunderstand what the author is talking about. He’s not saying not to trust in man at all. What it’s saying is don’t build your foundation on the faith of man and mankind. Our foundation should be built on Christ. Without that foundation our homes would be washed out to sea when the first storm hits.

Have you ever eaten some place and gotten sick from it? Have you ever cooked something at home and gotten sick? What about going to the store and having a bad experience with one of the employee’s? Do we swear off an entire restaurant chain just because of one bad experience, do we stop shopping at a store just because of one rude employee? What if that employee was just having a really bad day? Or what if the food came to the restaurant tainted and everyone who had that particular meal got sick? We can never know the full story because all we see is one tiny piece of the puzzle and if that puzzle is incomplete we have no business, no right to judge the situation without all the facts.

I personally believe dating is very similar. In dating we put our heart out there on a platter and freely give it up to someone we believe cares for us. Even if they do at the time, people change and people’s motives and desires can lead them to a dark place and those dark places can wind up breaking your heart in the end. Out of roughly 16 billion people on the planet, and estimate half that for the opposite sex to what you are, you cannot within reason say that everyone in that giant lake are bad fish. I have a theory when it comes to dating or marriage that I’ve been wrestling with for a little while now. A friend told me recently that every guy she’s dated have been losers, or they’ve turned into losers by the end and she was tired of being hurt all the time. So, here’s my theory, stop fishing in the same pond. Think about it, we all have types don’t we? We all have a particular type of lady, or man we’re attracted to, but what if that’s the problem all along, what if it’s not the guy or the gale that is the problem. What if we’re the problem? If we continue to fish in the same pond and keep catching the same type of fish, then perhaps it’s time to make the change in ourselves, find within ourselves keeps leading us to the wrong type. We cannot blame the great white for being a blood thirsty hunter, it is what it is, but if we don’t want to catch a great white, don’t fish where they are known to be. If you want fresh water fish don’t fish in the ocean. Sure even some bad fish can come out of anywhere you want to go fishing, but that doesn’t stop, well, shouldn’t stop you from fishing. The only thing you absolutely should do is not stereotype because of a few bad experiences.

Furthermore if someone cheated on you, don’t go into the next relationship full of distrust and suspicion. Each relationship is a fresh start and every person is different. Don’t bring your baggage with you. Leave it buried out back with the other memories of your exes. Have faith each and every day that today can and will be different. When you bring your baggage with you every time you start something new you won’t be able to move forward. You are over encumbered and you are condemning someone else for the mistakes they didn’t make. It isn’t our place to judge so leave that up to the higher power. We often look through our own pain, and that’s like wearing beer goggles, our vision will always be distorted so long as we keep putting our pain up in front of us. So take a chance on love, and let go of the baggage that’s holding you down. That distrust, that anger, that sorrow will only torpedo your new relationship because no one wants to be treated with suspicion and distrust fresh out the gate.