Tag: gods will

Chronic

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Chronic

Chronic pain is something that afflicts so many people. What is chronic pain? As defined by the Clevland Clinic “Chronic pain is pain that lasts for over three months. The pain can be there all the time, or it may come and go. It can happen anywhere in your body. Chronic pain can interfere with your daily activities, such as working, having a social life and taking care of yourself or others. It can lead to depression, anxiety and trouble sleeping, which can make your pain worse. This response creates a cycle that’s difficult to break.” (professional, C. C. medical. (n.d.). Chronic pain: What is it, causes, symptoms & treatment. Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/4798-chronic-pain) Chronic pain is something according to the CDC “During 2021, an estimated 20.9% of U.S. adults (51.6 million persons) experienced chronic pain, and 6.9% (17.1 million persons) experienced high-impact chronic pain (i.e., chronic pain that results in substantial restriction to daily activities)” So what does this mean? What if you’re a veteran? According to the VA “1 in 5 Veterans report persistent pain • ~1 in 10 Veterans report severe persistent pain • ~1 in 3 Veterans have been diagnosed with a condition related to chronic pain” I’m a 40-year-old male combat veteran. I spent over a decade working in the security industry which is difficult on the body. I have a neck injury that now leaves me with severe chronic pain, and as it degrades, the pain worsens and makes life far more difficult. What does it say? It can lead to depression, anxiety, and trouble sleeping? On top of the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) the depression is very real. I’m used to feeling pain before I go to bed, and the pain medication I have is vital to take before I go to bed. The hard part, is when I wake up in the morning with pain, and there’s a need to start my day with medication. Sadly, some days are worse when the pain is more severe from the moment I wake. There are days when the act of getting out of bed is extremely challenging. There are days when all I want to do is cry because the struggle to do anything is so strong. 

As I am nearing 40 years old in just a few days, I find myself struggling with recent diagnosis of my neck, and knowing there is nothing I can do to take the pain away, it’s disheartening. The surgery that was planned was canceled due to a counsel of surgeons deciding the original plan would fail, and a much more severe and extensive surgery would be needed. However, regardless of the necessity, my age prevents the desire to do the surgery now. While the meds do help a little, the medication has a negative side. What happens when you are on a narcotic medication for years? The biggest issue is when the medication creates a tolerance and becomes less effective. The physical pain is bad, but it’s nothing compared to the emotional toll it takes. The inability to do daily activities because of pain makes simple and basic tasks like housework, and yardwork nearly impossible some days. When you don’t want to do activities with your significant other, or friends, it makes you feel bad, and for me, ashamed. At the age of 40 and looking at a major neck fusion surgery, that will remove 100% of my mobility, I have not been sure of my place in this world. 

Because of my chronic issues, I had to retire early, but have not received social security. Not receiving social security has affected my income. As a disabled veteran I do get veterans benefits, but it is certainly not enough to take care of a family financially. As a man, and head of the household, I feel shame for not feeling like I am doing a good job providing for my family. How does a man determine value? 

I’m not trying to drum up sympathy, on the contrary, I want to spread awareness. I by no means have everything figured out on how to manage severe chronic pain. I have attended VA chronic pain management groups and therapies. I have attended recreational therapies, and while most of it has not taken away the pain, but, some of the techniques on how to manage have proven slightly affective. What does help with chronic pain? A strong faith foundation. 

Psalm 13:5-6

“5 But I have trusted in Your mercy;

My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.

6 I will sing to the Lord,

Because He has dealt bountifully with me.”

We may never know why there is so much suffering, except for knowing we live in a broken, fallen, sinful world. Suffering started the day Eve ate of the fruit, and Adam and Eve were exiled out of the garden. God told them they would face hardships, they would have to work hard, childbirth would be painful, and by the sweat of Adam’s brow he would till the earth. When we look at suffering in scripture, the book of Job is the height of this. After Job confronts God, and God replies in the most amazing and eloquent way, Job sees the truth. 

Job 42:1-6

Then Job answered the Lord and said:

2 “I know that You can do everything,

And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.

3 You asked, ‘Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?’

Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,

Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.

4 Listen, please, and let me speak;

You said, ‘I will question you, and you shall answer Me.’

5 “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear,

But now my eye sees You.

6 Therefore I abhor myself,

And repent in dust and ashes.”

Pain builds endurance. If we are faithful, our suffering should draw us near to God. This life is hard, and in it we will face an abundance of challenges. We will face hardships, and hurt. I do not necessarily believe when James talked of “whenever you face trials of many kinds,” he was referring to chronic pain. While I’m not sure he was referring to this particular trial, I will say, the lesson remains true. “3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4) Facing these hardships is not easy, and I find myself having difficulty in navigating life recently. I struggle with the day-to-day routine, as I am always in pain. I do not know why God has seen fit for me to go through this, but I know he has a reason. I have come to understand, we do not need to know the why, just know and understand God is sovereign, and no matter where we find ourselves, we need to know and believe God has a purpose. Assuming we did not put ourselves in the negative situation. I have often looked back and wondered if there was something I could have done differently to change things today. Should I have fought the VA for treatment and care for my neck from the beginning, instead of rolling over and taking the denial of responsibility. I didn’t fight for myself, and knowing there was a problem with my neck when I got out of the Army, my lack of treatment led to where I am today. It’s hard not to be angry about it, but knowing that anger won’t change anything, I have worked on letting it go. 

This life is short compared to eternity. For some people this life is full of more hardships, and letdowns, and heartache then others. Some people even Christians have an easier go of it than others. While everyone struggles, that struggle needs to build your endurance and faithfulness towards Jesus the Christ. We will never understand God’s plan this side of Glory. We will never see the fullness of the picture in which God sees. We will also never know the things God saved us from in this life. The ten second delay leaving the house saved us from a large car pileup. A delay in surgery kept us from dying on the table from a massive stroke. Paul says in scripture he prayed for God to remove a thorn in his side. We do not know what this was. Was it a physical ailment, this could very well be true from all the beatings, stoning, shipwreck, etc. Paul experienced. Without proper medical care, Paul may have developed significant physical pains. Was this a person or problem nonphysical, this too is a possibility. We don’t know. What we do know is Paul prayed, and God’s answer was no. He did not take it from him. 

2 Corinthians 12:7 “7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure.”

While this could be a physical ailment, it could also be a person. We do not know, but no matter what it is, the takeaway is the same. Paul’s prayer went unanswered, and he was told that God’s grace is sufficient. 

Isaiah 48:10

Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver;

I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.

Do we believe in our heart of hearts, that God’s grace is sufficient, no matter what our affliction is? Do we trust that God’s plan is perfect and he is sovereign? I am in no way saying dealing with these things is easy, obviously it was not easy for Paul since he pleaded with God three times. We are being forged into something more, and that process is violent. In order to be forged into something battle worthy, something strong enough to endure the test of combat, we must undergo the extreme heat, and the pounding of steel on steel, to mold us into a weapon. God’s grace is sufficient, but he never leaves us defenseless. He has given to us His Armor, the Armor of God, made up on his attributes, we clothe ourselves with. We are given the sword, the shield, the breastplate, the helmet, the sandals, and the buckler. We do not battle alone, for God is with us. We face the challenges of this world, and no matter what we face, how we respond to it matters. How we respond to stimuli matters. We are to respond in all ways as God responds. We are to respond in a way that when we are judged by God, we are told ‘well done my good and faithful servant.’ The last thing any believer wants is to let down God the Almighty creator of Heaven and Earth, and everything in it. 

No one wants to be in pain every day. No one wants to have cancer, or experience loss. No one wants to feel like an outsider and feel like they are not welcomed. It’s hard when you feel these things. Growing up I was often an outsider wherever I found myself. My personality was always a bit different. My opinions of life were different, set apart. Today is no different. In recent months I have felt like an outsider, even unwelcomed in places I never thought I would feel I didn’t belong. Few people in my life know what it’s like to have this level of pain on a daily basis. Few people understand how bad it feels not to be well enough to work to bring home enough money to take care of your family. I say this in all sincerity, ‘show me all your scars, and I’ll show you the cross.’ Show you the Cross: Matty Mullins. Years ago, I found myself in the worst storm of my life, and I felt like I was on the worst sea, inflicted by a hurricane, and all my sails were broken. It was when I thought all hope was lost, Jesus showed up. Jesus was there with me, guiding me through the storm. Jesus showed me the light, and while it didn’t happen overnight, I found my peace in Jesus. I was in a war, and Jesus reminded me, he already won the battle. Jesus reminded me I was his, and nothing Satan could do would pluck me from his hands. Today, I feel like my wheels are spinning and I’m stuck in quicksand. I feel powerless to change anything in my life, and the hard truth is, maybe I’m not supposed too. Jesus is in control, and the hardest thing we can do when nothing is going right, let go, and let God. 

God’s Will, My Will, Who’s Will

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God’s Will, My Will, Who’s Will

 Psalm 143:10 “Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Your Spirit is good. Lead me in the land of uprightness.” I have been questioning my purpose in life, and it has been years that I’ve been floundering in my career. As time pushed on I never quite found my flow, found my comfort. I spent years unwilling to leave my career because it was part of my comfort zone. Eventually God would force me to leave my career and follow a new path. I can remember growing up being in love with the church. As I grew I had felt some urges to work in the church but the older I got the further I wanted to be from working. I never stopped longing to go to church just didn’t think ministry was right for me. I ran from the idea for years and years.

When I think of everything I’ve gone through I can’t help but think of the song ‘Where My Heart Will Take Me’. I have walked a long journey, and as I’ve walked through the fire and the rain, I have always kept the faith that one day I would find where I belonged. I knew my strength came from my God and that God loved me no matter what everyone else said, or even those who doubted me. I can remember when I first decided to join the Army there were many who laughed at me. I was just some skinny kid, and many thought I’d fail. I was a weird kid and the vegetarian and most thought I’d fail in the first week. I not only made it my first week but after nearly dying from MRSA I bounced back and completed my 20K ruck march. I watched as I overcame all odds and managed to do something so many doubted. I was the smallest guy in my unit and even the Drill Sergeants didn’t think I would make it. Above the doubts I wanted to prove to myself I could do it. For the next 3 ½ years I would find myself achieving things I never dreamed I would. From combat to marriage, to moving out on my own I would come to find I was more independent I ever dreamed of being.

As tragedy would strike my life I would struggle to pick myself up. Instead of turning to God and giving my struggles and my trials to the Lord who could fix my heart, I hid it away and never faced them again. I thought I was doing just find handling my life well enough. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe and know Christ, I had failed in my prayer life and failed to understand the true nature of being a follower of Christ. My whole life I had questioned why I was being made to go through so much pain. I have struggled often wondering why I wasn’t good enough to be happy. I struggled with wondering why no one wanted me, and why I would loose so many people I cared for. The thing was I was always asking why me, and my suffering was about me. I never once thought to rejoice at my struggles. I never once thought to ask how my struggles could be used to glorify God. I never once thought to praise God even in my darkest hours. Instead I was always asking God why me, and what I had done wrong to deserve it. I always made it about me, and no matter how low I got I couldn’t see past me. I wasn’t narcissistic, nor was I entirely responsible for my own sufferings, but I can see now how those things while at the time were horrible and traumatic, but today they have given me a point of authority to preach on the subject.

I can’t say I fully understand everything, but I can say one day I hope to understand more then I do now. In my journey I now realize how much of a foolish young man I was. I was bitter and angry for so long I look back over my life and while I was never the cruel type, or cold or distant, for the most part I was always as loving as I could be. That was until something bad happened and then I shut down. See, for me the problem was facing the hurt, and instead of facing it I buried it deep down hid it away and never let it come out. I was dealing with it in my own will, and not God’s will. I need a swift kick in my stubborn butt, but instead I trudged along in my own way unwilling to see the bigger picture. See my whole life was missing out on an opportunity to minister God’s word in all the situations and countries I would find myself. Instead God took a back seat in my life and only when I needed something did I turn to God to get me out of the mess I was in.

Today’s picture of me is much different. Today the first place I turn when something happens is God. Today the first thing is tell God how perfect and gracious the Lord is. I thank God for an opportunity to learn from whatever lesson I’m being plagued with. I have learned to let my will fall to the side, and follow God’s will. I have allowed myself to be in charge for too long and I’ve found that I can either accept the lesson to be learned and not stress as much, or try to do it my way and hate life. So when dealing with any situation in life it’s important to praise God good or bad, and have trust and faith that He’s in control. For ever tear we cry, every laugh from our belly’s, every step we take Jesus is by our side and we must have faith that we aren’t alone during any of it. God so loved us that he gave his only so anyone that followed him shall not die, but would have eternal life. John 3:16 (paraphrase)We don’t know why so much bad happens other then we live in a fallen sinful world, where greed, selfishness, and hate are a plague upon humanity. We must choose the path of righteousness, the path of love that we are taught through Jesus Christ. This path isn’t one I ever thought I would be on, but as a surprise to me, those closest to me found little shock in it, as they saw my path to ministry as no longer plausible, but likely. All those years I spent telling God was I wasn’t going to do, what I should have been saying to God was what do you want me to do and then ‘Yes Sir’. Even though I walked my own path and I avoided God’s calling for me like the plague, the truth is, I wouldn’t be prepared for this path had it not been for where I was. My path was full of pain and turmoil, but even with the trials I shall face on this new road, I can rejoice in them because I now know and understand how to give the glory to God. Something I once said with my ex wife, ‘I don’t like you right now, but I love you.’ I believe this sentiment is true with God also. We don’t always like God’s plan, but we still have to follow it. We may not always like God at the moment, but when you think about it, that sentiment could be true of God with us. Imagine how patient God is, a Parent watching over His children who are stupid, arrogant, selfish, kind, soft, loving people all at once. We walk our paths, we turn our backs, and yet even when we are disciplined we are still loved greater then our wildest imaginations. Stay the course and make sure God’s path is your path.

 

Side Note:

During the writing of this post I was hit, blind sided with a message from someone I had befriended for a few weeks now, and while I wouldn’t have assumed anything was wrong out of the blue I get a message saying they were sorry but couldn’t talk to me anymore. That was it. I may not know what the purpose was, but I know it hurts. Regardless of how it made me feel the first thing I did was prayed. I took a step back and though my feelings were hurt, I cannot change anything, and I have no control over the situation, so all I can do is pray to the one with the power Jesus Christ, and offer myself to take this and figure out how to use this to glorify God, even if that means just taking my pain to the big guy up stairs.

 

 

Hold On

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Hold On:

In the course of our lives we will go through a mound of trials, one more intense then the next, but what are we really doing with those experiences. My personal experiences have left scars and those scars have been an irritant for many years. I’ve struggled most of my life with low self esteem, and that’s had a major impact on my adult life. When we go through painful events if we don’t have a strong foundation those events can start to pile up and leave us feeling self-conscious, bitter, and sometimes resentful. I know for me, I have argued with God on many nights why would He allow me to go through so much. I have often asked what I had done to deserve so many tragedies. I have been angry with God for so many people abandoning me. The thing is though, had I been more mature in my faith I would have understood the true nature of being a Christian. I would have understood that God loves us, but He is first and foremost our father. He disciplines us when we are bad, and allows us to make our own decisions, good or bad. He cries when we cry, and laughs when we laugh. Jesus Christ is always with us whether it be the green meadow, or the valley of death, the Lord is always by our side. Somewhere I lost sight of that, and begun to self-pity. I failed to realize that we are the metal, and life is the forge. We have the ability to face life with a smile on our face, or we can let life beat us down and take away our joy.

Scripture is full of promise concerning living life. We are told that life will not be easy. We are told that to be a Christian is to suffer. We are warned that we will face trials, and persecution for our faith. 1 Corinthians 4:8-9 8 “[We are] troubled on every side, yet not distressed; [we are] perplexed, but not in despair; 9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;” If we build our faith on good soil, allow Jesus Christ to fill our hearts and let it take root, we will have good fruits for our labor. We will not wither under the hot sun. When we allow Christ to be our foundation we can build our lives on that, and when the storm comes we will not loose everything. Philippians 4:13  “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”Do not become angry with God for the sins of man. Do not become bitter with God for the trials we face simply makes us stronger. In every situation both good and bad draw closer to God. Give thanks for the good times and the bad. Pray for God every day and every night and in all things bring glory to the father. 1 Peter 5:10  “But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle [you].” We know that we are ambassadors for Christ, and to be an ambassador that means we are not on our homeland, but in a foreign land. We are not home in this world, but just passing through. That knowledge, that viewpoint allows us to grasp the true nature of this life, and understand it’s purpose. We are lowly servants to the Lord and we deserve nothing, but through grace and love we are saved. We have been shown mercy and in that mercy and love comes a cost, the cross. Christ suffered in this world for us, and for the gift of salvation the price we pay is a little suffering on our path. 1 Peter 4:12-13“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.”

Though we face the fiery trials we are not alone. We are the church and we must stand together and help one another bare burdens. We must lean on one another in our times of need. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.” Christ tells us we will suffer, and he was telling all people who follow him what the future would hold. This is prophecy, and we should take heed to it. John 16:33“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”Heaven has never been free. While the price was paid in blood, it is us that must understand that Christ is the only way. Loving Christ and having faith that he is our one and only savior is how we get that golden ticket. We are tested in this world, tested if our faith is strong. We are forged in the fires and when our time comes, we will be strong, courageous, and faithful to our Lord.

Just know that following Christ was never promised to be easy. Just when you think things are going well, and you’re on a winning streak a pipe burst under the house and floods the crawl space. The Devil doesn’t want us to be happy and He wants us to turn on God and walk away. So keep the faith, deal with one problem at a time, and keep pushing forward.

 

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It’s a wonderful thing to be able to share the blessings and teachings of Christ with all of you. For those who read my works in Christ, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Recently I came across an amazing home business based in Travel and Entertainment that’s the real deal. The savings found through this business are amazing. If you shop online, like to go to movies, or travel, this gift card for you can save you up to 50%. Please enjoy your gift as a symbol of my appreciation and gratitude. God Bless.

One Year Later, A Life Saved        

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One Year Later, A Life Saved:      

One year ago today I was on my way to work earlier then normal, and as I had a strong drive to leave early, it wouldn’t take long on my journey to discover why. I would be at the right place at the right time, designed by God to be exactly where I needed to be. Divine intervention was at play, there is no doubt in my mind about that. To read about the events that day, please follow this link : https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2017/06/22/the-right-place-at-the-right-time/

One year later I am still in contact with the family. The road to recovery has been long and hard, painful, and yet is still ongoing. While the recovery process hasn’t been easy, a lucky man was able to spend another year with his family, loving them, and in my humble opinion, being an inspiration of perseverance in unspeakable odds against him. We never understand the big picture that God has planned for us, and we rarely understand the why until months, and sometimes years later, but we can rest assured, our faith will never be misplaced in the Lord. All this time I know that my prayers were answered and I have grown in my faith as to what God expects of me. Looking back on that day a year ago, I don’t see myself as doing anything special. I don’t see myself as a hero, or even responsible for saving anyone’s life. Regardless of my opinion, all that truly matters is, a man was saved and has been with his family all this time. As I’ve written lately, we are just links in the chains. We don’t know how big, or how small, but we have an impact. John 16:13“When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.” We must accept the Holy Spirit into our hearts, and know that we are washed away of a life of Sin bound to die in it. We must choose to allow Jesus Christ into our hearts, and once we do, we find that our path, and our purpose will be made clear in time. It starts with trust. When we walk in the light, we become a beacon to those around who may not believe. We are beacons for the believers to be held and to hold accountable. We are the Samaritan who helps the weary, beaten, battered traveler.

Proverbs 4:18“But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day.” We are nothing without Christ, but with Christ we are everything. We are the servants who do the Lords work, and as I have found in my life when we walk with Christ we will always find ourselves in situations to be in the right place at the right time to make a difference. We can be the life and death found within the will of God. We may never know the impact of our interactions, but sometimes we do. Today I look back with a humble heart, and know that I was right where God needed me to be because I obeyed the Holy Spirit and did what I was told to do. Today a man lives, and loves, and has been blessed by grace and mercy to survive when physical evidence says he shouldn’t have. God is on the move in our lives and to that I praise Jesus. I am thankful for my brother who is still fighting strong to heal. I praise my sister in Christ for her devotion in these tough times, but even through the trials, and pain, and tears, still she stands tall and has hope and love in her heart. God is real my friends, and God is working all over the world. Anyone who claims otherwise just refuses to see it. The evidence is all around you, and all you have to do is put a little trust, a little faith, and open your eyes beyond the world, but to the beyond. The God of Abraham lives and is still performing miracles, and I say to you, God’s Not Dead, He’s alive and He’s waiting for you.

 

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It’s a wonderful thing to be able to share the blessings and teachings of Christ with all of you. For those who read my works in Christ, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Recently I came across an amazing home business based in Travel and Entertainment that’s the real deal. The savings found through this business are amazing. If you shop online, like to go to movies, or travel, this gift card for you can save you up to 50%. Please enjoy your gift as a symbol of my appreciation and gratitude. God Bless. 

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Finding Happiness

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Finding Happiness

This seems to be a pursuit that most people are on for the vast majority of their lives. It’s strange how hard it is. We often look for happiness in items, in trinkets or people. I have always struggled with this aspect of my life. Even when I have everything I could ever need, I am always looking towards the horizon. I guess a part of me always felt to be happy meant to be improving my situation, making more friends, finding more people to talk to, always building my marriage. I guess I could have been considered to be Debby Downer for at least a good portion of the time. What is it I was seeking I wonder, what was it that kept me looking for more? The truth is there was something missing in my life, Jesus. When I realized I hadn’t given myself up to the Lord, not completely, by the time I did it was too late, my life, as I had known it was over. I put so much into my worldly possessions, my wife, my home, my job, and my friends, that in one big event, my very foundation cracked and toppled my own personal city. The changes in my life would be abrupt and violent. They would reshape my personal universe and it would never be the same again.

What’s the trick though to finding that happy place? In Peter Pan it’s finding a happy memory, one memory that stands out of pure joy to hold on to. Even in the midst of so much pain and anguish we are surely able to come up with something. One thing I’ve found is we place so much on the world, that we forget this isn’t the end. Sure we don’t want to be miserable day in and day out either, but it’s more about the mission, the journey, the race, then it is about today. When we change our mindset to the present, the mission Jesus gave to us, and we take heed to the lessons Christ taught us and the teaching of the disciples, we will find that happiness is rejoicing in the Lord and the Lord alone. There will be trouble but in that trouble we can use those times to show the kind of person we are. We can make those horrible situations into a teaching lesson for others, and show how God wants us to behave even when the odds are stacked against us, even when their looks to be no worldly hope, because to say there’s no hope is a lie. There were many times when King David had the odds stacked against him, but it was through the grace of God that he emerged victorious. Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” It’s not an easy thing to be content when you’re in suffering. It’s harder to find happiness in the midst of want and destruction. Philippians 4:11 “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” Human nature is to want and want more, want what we can’t have, and often take what we want even if it’s not ours to have.

2 Timothy 3:1-7 “3 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. 6 For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, 7 always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.” When we go through life taking what we want no matter the consequences we find ourselves destroying the very fabric of order in the world. I was recently the victim of something like this. With no limit to the amount of pain one feels when something near and dear to them is taken away, alas the pain is more when it’s done so by more then one party. The sad truth is greed and desires of the worldly flesh now resonate with the world. Paul Harvey did a report on ‘If I was the Devil.” During this little expo he noted that if he was the Devil he’d convince the world that drugs are okay, that swinging is more fun, that hard work is no longer the wave of the future.

I think the pursuit of happiness falls within each moment. I believe that to truly find it you need to learn to change your mindset away from the pain and suffering and embrace them. How we embrace our pain is hard. How we find contentment even in the center of the worst storms we may face is never an easy task. For every situation however there must be at least something that is positive, there must be at least some light at the end of the tunnel. We often spend so much time focused on the negative part of a tough spot that we fail to look at the positive situations and be thankful for them. For me this has been a long hard struggle and I am by no means perfect at this, but everyday I try to work towards this goal. Am I happy every day and do I find joy in my sufferings, of course not. But what I do find is a little bit of peace knowing that God is in control over everything I am going through, and when others hurt me, or forsake me, I know that God has not. People will say and do mean things to you for a variety of reasons, each more plausible as the next. As much as it hurts that trust and loyalty may be broken, know that through this situation you will learn, you will grow, and you can make your tomorrow a better place. When a forest grows to big purging fires must take place in order for the forest to grow back and regain some of what was lost. Our lives it seems are much in the same. Sometimes we must let go of the baggage that weighs us down. We must learn to let go of people who are always bringing us down. Now, I will say this, when I say bringing us down, I don’t mean people who are going through rough times. What I mean by that is when people actively say things to you to bring you down, or are negative and hurtful. If someone is not actively trying to be there for you, to lift you up, to help you get out of the hole you’re in, those are the people you don’t need around anymore.

Don’t fall victim to your own pain, don’t let your pain or your own struggles from finding the happy places in your life. When we truly embrace and accept that bad things will happen, and truly embrace the fact that God is sovereign we can let go of many of the pessimistic views we once held. We all loose friends, we all loose our jobs, our families, our loved ones; it’s a matter of life following its natural evolution. Be glad for the positive things you can take out of your memories, and cast away the sorrows. Don’t let life pass you by in misery; it’s too short to do so. Don’t be a slave to this world. Don’t let the world dictate who you are. The world cannot define you, only you can do that. You have the power to show the people around you how you handle each situation, and in every case you are the only one who can show who you are. As one of my favorite quotes go, “It’s not who I am underneath, it’s what I do that defines me.” (Batman Begins)

 

Impromptu Revelations

thearrowpreacher4 Comments

Impromptu Revelations

As I was reading another blog post I found myself searching inside myself for the question she asked in her blog. As I began to reply to her post, I found myself coming to a few realizations I hadn’t put into words. As my life has been one battle after another since my tragic day in September, I have found I am both stronger, and more stable then I ever have been. It’s strange how that one day has changed my life so much. I don’t know what would have happened if that day had never happened, but I know for sure that the storm clouds were still billowing off the horizon. The time for preparation had passed. The truth was coming whether I wanted to hear it or not. My life was never going to be the same. This particular course made a lifetime of tragedy become a reality. Countless years of running, of hiding from the pain would no longer stay buried. The truth could no longer be tucked away and pretend as if it didn’t exist. Yes that day hurt many, that day perhaps destroyed relationships that maybe, could have been saved in time. Regardless of the past, the present is here and the truth is now that Jesus’s love saved me. My path is always fluid, always changing, but my faith in God is resolute. My faith in God is no longer based on the good things in life, the blessings I had been given. Once upon a time I believed that my Ex Wife was my blessing, a gift given to me by God because of years of suffering and keeping my faith. When that relationship was leaving I begged God to tell me what I had done wrong. I begged God why I was being punished. The revelation came when I realized it wasn’t God doing these things. It was free will, it was human sin that would cause the biggest change in my life. Now today I am on a new path, a new road and though I don’t know where I’m going, I know that by the night’s sky and God’s Devine intervention, I will reach my place.

Ever since my recovery last September I have been listening to KLove every day. As time moved on I was drawn to a particular song. As time moved on another song would take its place, then another, then another. It seemed as if I was being told something by God Himself. The first song Eye of the Storm by Ryan Stevenson. This reminded me that as dark as the sky gets and we feel like tomorrows sun will never shine, God is the anchor and will keep up safe in any storm. No matter if our friends and family have sold us out or forsaken us, God will never do that. The Next song that came up was One Step Away by Casting Crowns. As I entered the phase of wanting to go back to take it away, remove it from history and as I realized I would never be able to do that, God’s love was always there. It never mattered how far I went, as long as I was still breathing, I could change my course. My Ghost could be left in the past. One step from surrender, one step from Arms wide open. After that came What if I Gave Everything also by Casting Crowns. I realized my whole life I’d been running from my calling. All my life I felt like I wasn’t living up to my own potential. Why was I still standing there, why was I holding back from God. I then realized in order for me to finally find my own happiness I was going to have to let go. I was going to have to uproot my feet from the deep mud, and in my faith, step out onto that ledge, move that mountain, and venture away from my own comfort zone and trust, finally with all my heart, with all my soul, trust. The final song in my journey was Voice of Truth again by Casting Crowns. I had been told so many lies my whole life. I was told I wasn’t attractive enough, not strong enough, not fast enough. I was told I wouldn’t survive basic training. I was told I would never amount to anything. I believed them. I fought through basic and proved them wrong. This was one victory out of many I would let the lies fuel. The Voice of Truth would eventually tell me I was good enough, I would be fast enough when I needed to be. The Voice of Truth would tell me someone out there will love me for me. I will be good enough for the right person. The Devil’s lies had gotten ahold of me, and only when the time was right, I would be able to fight back. When i finally understood, finally let go of my own fears and I choose to listen to that voice in my head, the voice in my heart, the voice in my soul. In one foul swoop the Devil grabbed a hold of me and I nearly lost my life. I nearly fell into the Web Satan sets for us, and I nearly lost my life to that wretched spider. Instead I found Gods love, I found Gods grace as I was saved from the brink of death. I believe in the Son, the Holy Spirit, I believe I overcome by the power of his blood I was saved. I’m alive because He Lives. (Because He Lives, By Matt Maher). It took my whole life to find my place under Gods wing, and now I look for my place in this world. I have accepted my roll as a warrior for Christ, now I must seek my physical place. I have faith that God will provide the path when the time is right. I believe God’s grace will not leave me now. I believe in the power of prayer, and the power of Godly counsel.