God Loves You – The Arrow Preacher

God Won’t Leave

I wrote to you and you said stuff too. I fell for your lies and you left me feeling like a fool. How could I have not seen it earlier, instead I had to feel. You said you cared but then you were gone. How can someone care then disappear? I believed you and gave you my attention my ear as you lifted me up and told me a beautiful lie. I listened to you and fell for the line that wasn’t true at all. You said to me, you’d never leave, but what was your word but wisps in the wind.

I have the word of God almighty, assurance and a promise to have and to hold. My God won’t ever leave, no matter my faults, my God will stay right next to me, always and today. I look ahead till tomorrow and know, people will leave, but God says it isn’t so. I shall never leave you says the Lord, and have faith always. How wonderful to know that in my deepest pain a promise I can hold.

I try so hard for people to care, I try so hard for people to see. I don’t know why, and maybe I never will, but people just leave. The struggle is real, an so are the consequences. I’m thankful though for God on high, who watches over me protecting me from harm. Deuteronomy 31:8 (NKJV)8 “And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”

Sometimes in life we get busy and it’s understandable. Sometimes we need some time away, and a chance to review our life. Sometimes life gets in the way and all we can do is our best. I’ve been putting a lot of thought in my life and have found myself grateful that no matter how stressful life gets, how many people choose to leave, how little people care, God’s son Jesus Christ is with me always. The nature of God is an interesting one, and by that I mean, how does something you cannot see, and often feel make you feel better? While I can’t explain the feeling, I can say, knowing that God loves me so much that Jesus died on the cross for my sins, for my personal salvation, I know that my hope is not of this world, but of the next. I know that because God has never given up on me in all my shortcomings, my failures, God’s son Jesus Christ is beyond patient, beyond empathetic, that Jesus Christ is pure love, in a way we can sparsely understand. The pain I’ve felt over the last…. 30 some years as people I’ve cared about have left, I have found myself in the last couple years feeling jaded. I have found myself feeling angry, and bitter towards peoples selfishness, peoples lack of empathy towards others feelings from their own actions. I have been on bended knee seeking answers, trying to understand the purpose, looking for my own path, and while some things have been revealed to me, others have yet to flourish. The stress mounts as school has taken a slight turn in the wrong direction, relationships have failed at an alarming rate, and I have failed to find and manage my own stress release. Many may have noticed I have not posted in a few days, and that was not intentional, and sadly, even as life has gotten in the way I feel awful for missing so many days. Life has a way of sneaking up on you, and before you know it the day is gone. Thankfully Jesus knows our hearts, knows our pain, and no matter how the day slips by us, Jesus knows, and is there for us always.

Am I pretty?

Have you been judged by the way you look? Most of my life I have been judged by my looks and I’ve struggled to make peace with the horrible experiences I’ve had. No matter how much I change my look, change my approach, I have been left with a simple truth, it’s not God’s plan. I have struggled making that peace, and when I look in the mirror I don’t see the man I once knew. Just over two years ago, I looked in the mirror and saw a husband with a beautiful wife, and I knew we weren’t perfect, but I was happy. I allowed myself to break and crumble and as I have put myself back together it’s a fractured mirror. Recovery takes time and one of my biggest failings is caring so much about what other people think of me. I have allowed people to dictate my value, and I know that me believing in that is believing the lies Satan is feeding me. The hard part is not knowing they are lies, it’s being able to change my perception. Of course when we are met with questions in life the only true way to find answers is to go to scripture.

Although this message was for wives I believe men can also learn from it. 1Peter 3:3-4“3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the [a]incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” We must focus on the inward appearance and ensure that we are beautiful people in spirit and personality. We must trust and have faith that God will one day put the right person in our path to accept us who we are. Relationships aren’t about changing someone; they are about accepting someone for who they are, faults and all. When you’re in the right relationship you will naturally become your best self.

It’s not easy when you’re rejected because no one likes to feel unwanted. In the last several months I have begun talking with people who rejection seems to be all they know. One thing I’ve been learning about ministry is your message is best received from those whom you can relate. After two affairs, and two years of non-stop rejections, I find I am being placed on a path where I have yet to learn the object of the lesson. I firmly believe that if you are experiencing the same thing over and over again it’s either, you’re making the same mistakes, or, God’s trying to teach you a lesson. I’m reminded of an episode of Arrow. Oliver Queen is trying to teach his new recruits on object lesson and the object is to learn the object of the lesson. In life we must understand that for every situation we encounter a lesson can be learned. Something can be taken away and used in every instance. Nothing in our lives should be wasted.

No matter what the world tells you, you are beautifully created. External beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you will be beautiful to someone. Don’t allow your identity to be defined by others. God has made you, and God doesn’t want us to be alone. Someone is out there for each of us. We need to make sure we are living in the will of God, and when the time is right, and we are actively serving God, good things will happen. I know I struggle with patience and I absolutely hate being single, but I know that God is working things out for me. I know I need to ignore the rejections, and the never-ending lonely nights. I need to ignore those who feel the need to ghost people, and those who are selfish and shallow. I need to accept who I am, and who God has made me to be. I cannot change it so much like the serenity prayer“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”