Tag: giving

Good Thing God Loves Me

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Good thing God loves me.

I’ve spent quite a while praying about this, and I keep coming back to the same thought process. It’s something I’ve spent time praying over and I have come to realize, I’m blessed to have Gods grace and love. Scripture tells us we are dead in our sin. That means we are in a coffin and not drowning out at sea looking for a safety ring to be thrown to us. We don’t often like to think of ourselves as dead but in reality we are serving a life sentence. In the end comes our judgment, our sentence. Do we die, or live. See, justice was dealt and Jesus took the punishment for those who would seek him. For everyone else, well, the future doesn’t look so bright for them. The thing that I have struggled with is the works because of faith. Scripture tells us that we will be recognized as those who follow Christ by the fruit of our works. Not that we are saved in works, but the new creation in Christ we are compelled to do works in the name of Jesus. The thing that gets me is how fickle we humans are. Let me give you a scenario and I’ll let you decide. I will preface this by saying this is only one side of the story.

Here’s a young man, who meets a young lady. They fall in love and have a wonderful relationship. That relationship though romantically fades over time, the friendship lasts. The young boy goes into the military and becomes a man. Through the time spent serving he would buy the lady a car, pay off bills, and through the years be as close a friend as possible. Even so much as becoming a godfather to her first born.

Now, you would think or at least I would think, that would create a strong bond, and a desire to keep a friendship alive? Well, I was wrong.

This adds to a long line of people coming and going. The sad truth is we all fall short of the glory of God, but that doesn’t change the hurt. It isn’t that faith was placed in people, but more like the expectation that your car will start in the morning. Scripture tells us to never grow weary of doing good, but I say, sometimes that’s incredibly difficult to do. Love is one of those things that If we could truly do it, than we wouldn’t have conflict. Scripture tells us that love covers a multitude of sins. That being the case, If we truly loved we wouldn’t hurt people nearly as much. But alas we are lowly, wretched sinners. It’s hurtful to see people you care about leave. I’m not sure what’s worse knowing why someone leaves, or being ghosted. Sadly, as this event plays out over and over in my life, I’m left watching this rerun over and over again. It never gets easier. The one saving grace is where I am with my faith. I turn to the father in prayer and ask for their peace. Not knowing the why, all I can do is pray for them, and pray for healing. As I eluded to earlier, it’s hard not growing bitter. It’s even harder not to press these feelings onto new friendships. I don’t believe that eventually everyone leaves, I can’t, because truthfully that would be emotionally taxing, draining, and cruel.

I’m not sure why I’ve had so many people walk out of my life. I’m not sure if it’s me, or if I attract a certain type of person. Either way, all I can do is drop to my knees and pray about it. Pray for peace of mind, and a healing heart. I can’t and won’t lie and say I’m alright, but I can say I will be, perhaps someday. It’s one thing to say that I’m used to being hurt by people leaving, and the feeling of abandonment goes away, but that would not be true. While I am used to it, the pain doesn’t get any better. And it takes everything I have plus some to fight the urge to put up walls around my heart and mind, to protect myself from people. Why get close to people, or let anyone in, if they are just going to leave? It’s a valid question but one that cannot sit on my heart. I cannot place the sins of others, upon people I’ve never met before. It is not right to place a burden upon someone for the acts of another. Sadly people do this all the time.

I know I am a sinner, and I know I’m saved by grace through faith in Christ. Ultimately it’s love. The love of God that shines down on me, even though I don’t deserve it. I can only hope one day, I’ll find my life was worth something. My love language, one of them is affirmation. Something we don’t often get in our lives. This is a driving factor for me I’d say, that if I can arrive in Heaven, and find that my works in the name of Christ were pleasing, that the Father will one day look at me and say well done, that would make all of the pain worth while. My heart today is heavy. This I cannot deny. Peace is found in the love of Christ and that’s where I must turn.

Parasite

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Parasite

Are you allowing people to stay in your life who only come around for encouragement, or when they need something? These people drain your emotional resource but never replenish it. These people will never or rarely be there for you. I have had many difference parasites live in my life. I’ve had people who only come around when it’s convenient for them. These people come around to refill their supply of good vibes and then when they are full, they move forward again. Most of my life I’ve had people seem to use me for whatever they wanted, and then when it no longer suited them, they left. I’ve been host to many parasites over the years. One of my faults is not knowing that I’m being taken advantage of. Even people I’ve cared about have used me for their personal gain and once their goals were achieved, again, thrown away. People can truly be parasites and latch on and just like a leach, suck away your passion, your joy, your love, and leave you with next to nothing.

Recently I had a situation come up that really got me thinking about how others think.

About seven weeks ago I started talking to this seemingly nice lady online. We’d been talking on and off for that whole time, and finally the question came up ‘are we compatible’? I took a long look at what was on my list, and what I believe in, and what she believed in, and my answer was no, we aren’t. However, I felt that there was plenty of good qualities to maintain a friendship. When I told her I didn’t think a relationship would work, she abruptly said goodbye. I had a few minutes to talk with her about why she was leaving and no matter how I reasoned for a friendship, she was insistent on an all or nothing relationship. This struck me as odd because she would be willing to move into a relationship based on the last seven weeks but felt nothing about leaving a friendship. How can you talk to someone for seven weeks and be okay with a romantic relationship but you’re so quick to leave a friendship. I always thought you must have a good solid foundation of friends before the relationship can really flourish.

This situation has prompted me to ask a very important question, ‘if we aren’t compatible for a relationship are you willing to be friends?’ The question seems simple enough, but it’s led me to wonder what people s true motives are, and what drives them. There was no thought to how I would feel in this particular situation, only what was in it for her. Now, on the flip side I can hear some of you thinking ‘maybe she really liked you and she couldn’t just be friends.’ While yes, this is always a possibility, I didn’t get that impression at all in the conversation. With everything she had said, she really couldn’t see a benefit to being friends. This of course triggered an emotional response from me, as I questioned yet again my self-worth. It’s not easy feeling that kind of rejection. I’m sure she felt some form of rejection also, but she knew our beliefs weren’t the same and weren’t compatible so she also said no in a way, but the rejection was a friendship. I wonder what I failed to do in those seven weeks to show myself as a worthy friend. I wonder why I wasn’t good enough to be a friend. The thing is, and this is easy to say, hard to believe, it wasn’t about me at all. This was about what I could be for her, and that was her only thought. She too, thrives on taking from others, and cares little about what she gives in return.

Scripture talks about those who would take from you, use you, abuse you, and yet, I think it’s often overlooked. So many relationships are symbiotic and while sometimes this is a good thing, there are forms of symbiotic relationships that are harmful to one or both of the symbiont. The four types are mutualism, commensalism, parasitism, and competition. The one we’re going to discuss is parasitism. This is where one of the symbiotes is gaining something by taking it from the other relationship. In essence, calling someone a parasite in your life is not only accurate, but it happens in nature quite often, and people are no different. Remember though, you have a choice, you have a choice to live a life in love, or hate.

An article I found https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/one-sided-relationship/1269161gives a good account of the warning signs to look for if you think you may be in one of these relationships. It’s pretty clear these relationships are harmful, and must not be a long-term relationship. I encourage you to turn to scripture when you think you may be in this situation. Luke 8:17 (NKJV)17 “For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light” Remember that people aren’t going to be up front about their intentions, and they may not even realize what they are doing is harmful. It’s important to approach with love, and show concern towards the relationship and attempt to get your partner to change their ways. However, if this doesn’t happen, you need to have a long conversation with God about what’s best for you to do. You will be surrounded by opinions, and those may be good, they may be bad, but no matter what surrounds you, it’s important to followHebrews 12:1 (NKJV)“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,”

Remember that if you are abundant with love, and a giving nature you are wealthy in spirit. People will want this, and it’s not just a wealth of money people seek, but anything that can be given is an object of affection. People sometimes want to have someone to serve them, or be their punching bag. People in abusive relationships are also in that symbiotic relationship, and as you give up your self to stay in that relationship, you are giving the other person power, control, by giving up your own. They thrive on that, and as long as you’re willing to stay, they will continue to feed on that. Proverbs 19:4“Wealth maketh many friends; but the poor is separated from his neighbour.”

Fear not though, because there is always a way out, and if you don’t know what that may be, or you need help figuring out the best course of action, or if you just need someone to talk to about it, I urge you to seek Godly counsel. I urge you to take a long hard look at what’s going on in your life. If your resource is being drained, perhaps counseling is needed, couples counseling, or individual at the very least. James 1:5“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” Seek God first in every situation, and trust that there is still hope. If you’re in a physically abusive relationship, I urge you to seek help right away. I urge you to stand up for yourself by removing yourself from a dangerous situation. Second is an emotionally abusive relationship, I urge you to seek counsel right away. Attempt to get into counseling, and see if you can change the statuesque.

No matter where you are in your life, always proceed with love. You can love someone, but that doesn’t mean they are healthy for you. As such you can love an addiction, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for you. You must have discernment with who you give abundantly too. Trust in the Lord to watch over you, and protect you. This doesn’t mean the Lord will snap his fingers and your abuser will stop abusing, but more, the Lord will give you a way out, people that will help you, but only if you seek. I’ve heard before “why did God let my ______ to abuse me?” See, God doesn’t let anyone get away with anything. Those things happen, but God doesn’t forget. You always have the ability to leave. It may not be easy, but you can leave. You will have to make a choice in your life, and trust in God to be there with you no matter what you choose to do.

If any who reads find yourselves in any of these situations, please pray about what you need to do, and please be sure to seek Godly counsel and help. Make sure you are safe and not in a dangerous situation. God will be with you, and God will be there to comfort your spirit. You don’t have to stay in those kinds of relationships. If you are a person who gives and gives and people take advantage over your kindness, your generosity, pray about what you are doing. What you have is a gift from God and we are told in scripture to use our gifts wisely and for what is edifying of the Holy Spirit. Love everyone, but don’t enable bad behavior. Use your gifts on those who truly need and appreciate them. Don’t waist your energy, your hard work, or even your own hard-earned money in some cases on those who aren’t willing to work for themselves. Use discernment in all you do.

I am praying for all of you that this post may touch in a special way, and I pray God gives you what you need to a better tomorrow.

Season to Give

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Season to Give

We are in the season of good will, a season of being thankful and grateful, but what’s that mean? In this life we can choose the life of light or life in the dark. If you put a little love in your heart the world would be a better place. This is a season of love, and to love your fellow man. Jesus came to this world to love us, to die for us, to save us from ourselves and sin. Seasons greetings and happy holidays.

There are so many needy families out there that this holiday season is just a reminder how bad things are for them. It’s hard to see the reminder of how life has been hard, and discouraging. Those who have the ability to lend a helping hand should. It’s the strong’s responsibility to protect the weak. Psalm 34:8 “8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” We may have the power to drastically change the lives of just one family, but I guarantee that family will forever remember.

We may not always be able to save everyone, but we can do the best we can. Growing up in a mostly poor home, I remember the struggles. The kindness of strangers often changed my life forever, and now that I’m older I feel the need to pay it forward. Paying it forward is the best gift we can give to someone.

Merry Christmas to All

 

 

 

 

Giving your all

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Giving your all

Have you ever loved so deeply, cared for someone so much you felt like you gave your whole life to them? Have you ever cared for someone so much when they were gone you felt as if half of you were ripped away? What about when you meet someone new and you feel strongly about them, not love, but a strong desire to know them, to be there for them, what happens when that isn’t reciprocated? I believe we’ve all gone through this at some point in our lives. There’s a strong reaction to rejection and that reaction’s what we’re going to discuss today. This is an uncomfortable subject so stick with me.

Recently I met someone and the more we talked the more I felt a potential relationship might have been possible. I received a lot of positive feedback early on in our communications and it led me to believe something more in time was more then a likely possibility. When the conversation continued I was shocked when all of a sudden it stopped. The conversation seemed rather benign and since it was just about liking particular movies, I saw no reason the outcome ended the way it did. All communication halted abruptly and the feeling sunk deep in my stomach and my head felt like a kick to the face.

Disappointment is a tough pill to swallow. What does the bible say about disappointment? Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” No matter what we face, or the troubles we find ourselves in God will use them for the purpose of good things. We may not be able to see the good in our pain, or the purpose in our suffering, but through all things the Lord is with us. Psalm 42:11 “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” As King David writes in a moment of sorrow he asks God why he feels such turmoil within his heart. He knows God is with him, he knows the Lord will never forsake him, and in all things God is good always. We too must remember that in our struggles, in our times of weakness the Lord of creation is with us.

Having and keeping the faith that no matter the purpose of someone coming and or going in your life is difficult, but the Lord has a plan. While we may feel like we’ve been hit by a ton of bricks, and while this may be literal or figurative, the Lord will see us through till the end. Often times we wonder why someone hurts us, why someone will leave their spouse in what appeared to be a loving marriage or relationship. While there are many reasons and likely personal explanations, that we won’t discuss today, the simple answer is this. Sometimes the innocent can be collateral damage. If this is the case and the hurt and pain is caused by someone else keep in mind 1 Corinthians 7:15 “But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.” If someone walks away from you, if someone has decided to follow or pursue a path that is not one that is inline with Christ, do not hold onto that. Do not allow that departure to be a reflection upon yourself. Do not hold onto responsibilities for what is not due unto you. We must always take responsibilities for the things we played a roll in rather it be good or bad. Always own up to your own mistakes. We must fight the urge to take responsibility for things beyond our control. Do not allow the sins of another to add to the burdens you already carry. As grotesque as it sounds and is, do not be the proverbial sin eater. Do not take upon yourself, which is not yours. Often times when a relationship ends, if it ends with little to no warning, and you are left to wonder why, and what happened, it’s easy to start blaming yourself. While this is something I myself have yet to master, and may never will, it’s important that whether it’s your spouse, your friends, or other close relationships, always remember that if someone walks away from you, you may not need to take the blame, do not take on the sins of anyone but yourself. Only take on what you must. Have faith in the Lord, and believe that no matter who leaves you, who abandons you, the Lord’s promise is to never leave or forsake, because the Lord made a new covenant, and this promise by God is not one that is broken.

Remember it’s okay to love another, and it’s okay to feel a devotion to someone, but always remember to put God first. When you remember to put God first, the rest will fall into place.

The Man in the Mirror

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The Man in the Mirror

Do we look at the world and expect it to change on it’s own? How often do we look at the hungry, the sick, the disparaged, the homeless, and think someone should do something to change that. We roll up our windows and drive off, pick up the pace to walk quicker, and look the other way as to not make eye contact. Are we embarrassed by them, or are we embarrassed that we live so much better? Are we ashamed of what we have, or is it the shame that we don’t give like we should, that we ourselves don’t try to make a difference? My personal thought is we don’t try to make a difference. We see a problem, but place the responsibility on someone else to fix it.

We may just be a drop of water in the bucket, but from the first drop water follows the path of water. Once the water starts moving in a direction more water will follow. You can be the trend setter, you can be the voice that’s heard in the dark. To borrow a line from Michael Jackson, “If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself then make that change.” It’s amazing how one voice can change the course of history. King David, Martin Luther King. Jr., Eddison, Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, all who’s voice was heard, all who were not born into what they become, but were molded into it. Billy Graham’s voice is one of the loudest voices we hear in the Christian world.

When we see wrong when we see the error in someone’s ways we have been told in today’s world to accept people, to be tolerant of other world views. I say this is a load of crap. Will I try to push my beliefs on someone else by force? NO! Will I however call you out if you are sinning up a storm? You Betcha! James 5:20 “remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.”

We can reach hundreds just by volunteering at soup kitchens, relief shelters, and not just to make status, or to gain favor in God because God will know the true reason you do it. You have to do it because you generally want to, that you want to make a difference. Hebrews 13:16 “And don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God.”

Hebrews 10:24-25 “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” We must encourage others by being there for them. Unlike Job and his friends who abandoned him, we must fellowship and bring others up especially those in need. It’s amazing how fast we leave someone and return to our lives isn’t it? A funeral we might see the one who lost their loved one get support for a week, maybe two, then it’s back to business. Does the pain and loneliness stop after a week? What about a broken marriage? Someone who lived with that spouse for years is all of a sudden on his or her own. In today’s world how hard is it to send a quick text? How hard is it to call for 5 minutes just to let them know you’re thinking of them? The difference that one call or text could make is beyond comprehension. I won’t get into to suicide in this post, but a quick note, that one call, that one text could be the difference in total despair or hope. Just keep that in mind. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” Don’t be afraid to help others. Even if all you can do is talk for a bit, or listen, it’s more than enough for some to have that connection. Galatians 6:2 “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.”

 You can be the change this world needs even if just in your own little world. Never underestimate your own worth, your own voice. If you are doing God’s work the rest doesn’t matter. God can and will use you to do great things. We should never underestimate the power of the Lord through us. Make the change by being the change. Change yourself, and give the Glory to God.

In God We Trust

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In God We Trust

 Do we trust in the Lord? Do we have faith that God is not only in control of the big picture, but the little stuff as well? Does God fit inside the little box we’ve created for Him? Joshua 1:9 “9 Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” It’s easy to say not to be afraid, but are we really free from that servitude? Are we slaves to fear, are we slaves to worry, I believe we are. Matthew 6:24 “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.” Mammon is wealth, or money. The interesting thing about money is the saying on our own money that often goes unnoticed or forgotten.

Do we really give our all to Christ? Are we faithful in our giving, are we faithful in our love, are we faithful in our prayers, our empathy? Psalm 37:4-6 “4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. 5 Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring [it] to pass. 6 And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.”

 During the three years Jesus taught, it’s said a minimum of 4 times ‘Ye of little faith’. There is no doubt that we do not have the strength we should. We allow the world to beat us down, to torture us and we give reaction to it. Sure we feel pain, we feel sorrow, but if we have enough faith to trust what we can’t see, trust what we don’t understand, we may actually find peace in our day.

What is peace? Peace is a state of mind, not just peace or war. Finding peace is obtainable in this world, but we must be in a state of constant vigilance. Peace doesn’t mean that war won’t come it just means that when it does it won’t destroy who you are. Be at peace with yourself, and know that God’s will can turn any heart, heal any ailment, forgive any sin, and save any life. 2 Thessalonians 3:16 “Now the Lord of peace himself give you peace always by all means. The Lord [be] with you all.” The Lord gives us the ultimate peace, the peace of forever, eternal salvation.

The final word I leave on this is John 16:33 “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” Peace is not of this world, it’s of eternity and that is why no matter the trial we face in this world, we can handle with grace and dignity.

I myself have not always handled every situation that way. I’ve been known to over react from time to time. I’ve had times where the world felt like it was falling down upon my head, where I would never be able to breath again, but God as my witness, even when death seemed to be knocking at my door, the post card was sent to death apologizing for the inconvenience, but my reservation had to be postponed once more. The day may come when my body sleeps and wakes no more, but God willing, not any time soon. Sorry death, not today.

When People Give

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When People Give

 What does it mean to give? Are some people more generous then others? We all know the answer to the last question, yes some are more gracious in giving then others. The internet, because everything on there is accurate says giving is “freely transfer the possession of (something) to (someone); hand over to.” There are many different ways we can give, each is just as important as the next. The act of giving is something that’s very important in our Christian walk. Not everyone can give financially, but those who can in my opinion are very gracious. Money is very hard to come by these days, and to give it away, to give it up freely in a manner that is selfless, and completely generous is a hard concept for me to understand. Let me explain that part. A little back-story about me might go a long way. When I was 19 and in basic training, a very close friend to me was in desperate need of help financially. I had been in basic for a little while and saved up a good amount of money. I was headed for Korea and didn’t feel I was going to need a lot of money over there. My friend didn’t have a car, was not able to get to and from work, was falling behind on some student loans, and looked to be sinking into depression. I wrote her a sizable check the day I found out about her hardships. The check was somewhere in the ballpark of $5000, enough to buy a car, and pay some bills. 15 years later I get a message from her stating how grateful she was for the car, that it had saved her life, and been a great used vehicle. 5 grand lasted 15 years, how wonderful did it make me feel that I was able to change her life so drastically and never wanted or expected any kind of return. A couple months later after I loaned her the money, another friend was telling me about some student loan issues. Hers wasn’t so bad, if memory serves it was in the ballpark of $2000, and again, didn’t think much of it, wrote the check and sent it off. At the same time all this was going on, a family member was in the hospital. Her kids were in need of some support, and I didn’t have much left to give but I gave what I could, $500. In a manner of two months I gave away $7500.

Lets fast forward to today. Recently I have found myself in some financial distress. If I were a country my flag would be upside down. The real blessing is the amount of people who’ve found their way to help me financially. One person even sent a large enough amount to help with a major bill. I can’t ever thank those who’ve helped me out enough. The struggles I’ve faced recently have left me under the thumb of stress and anxiety. I know better then most the scripture to go to for relief, but some days it’s hard. Deuteronomy 16:17 “Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD your God which He has given you.” Proverbs 21:26 “The righteous gives and does not hold back.” Proverbs 22:9 “He who is generous will be blessed, for he gives some of his food to the poor.” There are far more verses about giving but I think you get the point.

It’s almost a proven fact that when you give freely and faithfully, the Lord will bless that and multiply what you’ve given and you shall get in return. Remember that the Lord gives all gifts. The Lord can take all gifts away if we do not respect what we’ve been given. Just because it’s new and shiny doesn’t mean it’s right for us. Finally the words of Matthew 6:3-4 “But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.” Meaning it’s not truly giving from the heart if you are seeking adulation from it. If you are truly intent on giving because you feel compelled to do so then God will bless you. Often we hear about celebrities giving a ton of money to charity. Be cautious with those tales, not everything may be as it appears. Do they give to get the huge tax breaks? Giving with the anticipation of getting in return is not the deal. Have faith in God. He will provide. Every time I’ve needed help, or been on the brink of bad things, some how, some way, God has provided right when it’s been needed. Some day I myself pray to be in a situation where I can help others again. In my heart I miss it. God is good always.