Making A Plan

Making A Plan

All my life I had a plan, I knew how the plan was going to go, I knew how my life was going to unfold, and I knew how to execute the plan. Well, a day before I graduated high school the plan fell apart. ‘The defense department regrets to inform you that you have be found ineligible for the selection into the United States Marine Corps. “ Well, there went my plan. I was so certain I would make it into the Armed Services I barely spent any time on my college testing, and I had only applied to two universities. Both of which I was accepted to, though, I hadn’t planned for how I was going to pay for college. So my plan flew off the rails before it even got going. After a year of moving around a bit, I got a job but wasn’t satisfied with life. I was terrified of college and failing so I ran away from that as fast as I could. It was just by pure coincidence (if there is such a thing) that I ran into an Air Force recruiter in the store. I had talked to him about my denial letter and re suggested I reapply. A few months later I moved back home to live with my Grandfather, and I talked to my local recruiter. Everything was looking good, the process was going along smoothly, and away to MEPS I went. Something was wrong though. I didn’t feel the choices in the Air Force fit my personality and my drive. When I got back from MEPS my recruiter wasn’t there at the recruiting station. I was really upset by that, and I stormed into the Army recruiting office and started talking to them. Within 10 minutes I was headed home with a list of Army jobs, and a slew of information. I had at least 13 jobs circled for further review within the 15-minute drive home. This looked promising I said to myself. I went to MEPS again for the final time before I would ship out, the rest of my testing was done; the job selection process came up. Cavalry Scout was the dream job. There was only 1 slot open so we had to write an essay between two of us candidates. Mine was chosen and I advanced to get a ship date, 6-month wait.

For the next 6 months I would train, and I would enjoy the time I had left with close friends. I would be headed to Fort Knox for one station unit training, and while I was there I would get my duty station. I had signed up for a 1-year hardship in Korea. I figured, if I was going to go to war at least I could have some training in the Army first. During basic I was doing well, I was getting faster, stronger, and testing well. I was moving along to graduate then all of a sudden I ended up with MERSA and I was hospitalized for 4 days. I missed out on vital training, so instead of graduating with my class, I would be recycled through to the next class to graduate. This hit me like a ton of bricks. The plan wasn’t cooperating. I would graduate 6 weeks later then planned. I went to Korea and placed in my unit up at Camp Casey. 1 year in Korea wasn’t going to be so bad. I had a plan, and if I liked it I might even stay one more year after that. Except the plan wasn’t going to cooperate again. We as a unit were being removed from Korea, sent to Iraq and our new home location would be determined while we were in theater. I choose Korea because hardship duty stations didn’t deploy to other combat zones, or they hadn’t in almost 50 years. All that time and effort I spent getting away from the war for a little while just vanished in front of me.

While in country I would get hurt (non combat related) I would loose friends (combat related) and I would endure hardships. I would get home and try my best to keep making plans. Relationships wouldn’t go to plan, I would end up having surgery on my knee, I would get married, then get out of the military ahead of schedule. I moved, and then moved to Europe as a civilian military spouse. I would loose that marriage to an affair. I met a wonderful woman, eventually would marry her and then in time watch as my life was torn apart by yet another grisly affair.

So, that’s pretty much the last 15 years. I look back and I snicker at how well my best laid plans would work. I heard a quote just a couple weeks ago Make the plan, Execute the plan, Expect the plan to go off the rails, Throw away the plan.” (The Flash) That statement couldn’t be truer. What does God think of our plans? Well, funny you should ask, Proverbs 15:22 “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” As we all know, even as much as we may want something, that doesn’t mean that’s what God has planned for us. Amos 3:7 “For the Lord God does nothing without revealing his secret to his servants the prophets.” Since we haven’t seen any prophets in a long time, it’s safe to say we often fly blind. Another saying to laugh about is “Tell God your plans and watch Him laugh.”

Living by following the cross, and doing our very best to listen to what God has planned for us is the closest we have to knowing plans will even partially work. When God closes a door we have a hard time understanding why, we have a hard time accepting no as an answer. For some it’s not a no, it’s just a not yet, but for others, their fate is down a different rabbit hole. We all know that the best-laid plan is to follow Christ. Read the scripture and the lessons left for us to follow and you can’t go wrong. Not all our plans are meant to work, some are because of our own doing, and some will fail because of others. The path your on doesn’t actually end, it just splits. It’s up to all of us to choose the path we feel lines closest to what God wants for us. James 4:13-17 “Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”

I’ll leave you with this story as a close. August 2012, just three months before I was scheduled to be married I was out with my girlfriend and her father. She had just got a new Smith & Wesson Bodyguard semi automatic pistol. It’s a little .380 about the size of my hand. We’d been out shooting for a little while and I opted to shoot last. I was testing out the built in laser and I went to a knee to see how accurate it was. I held the gun steady and I squeezed the trigger. It jumped like no tomorrow as I felt a huge wave of air on my face. It felt like a book had been waved in front of my face, then hit me. I went to stand up, but I couldn’t see completely. My face was red hot, and I could feel the warm hot liquid poor from my face. I could feel it on my hand when I touched my face, and it was at that moment I realized I was in need of help. I turned around and dropped to a knee. We would later find the bullet casing had exploded in the chamber. It buckled the guns plastic, and peppered my eye protection with bits of shrapnel. Sadly my glasses didn’t protect my entire face and my cheek, nose, and forehead weren’t so lucky. My vision was saved due to the glasses, but to this day a piece of shrapnel still remains in my right cheek as the surgeon was unable to remove the tiny fragment in fear of doing more harm then good. Every day we went shooting we always planned and executed safety as best we could. On this particular day it happened to be, I was doing what I was supposed to, I wore what I was supposed to, but I was still injured. Thankfully the shrapnel wasn’t lower and it didn’t go through the artery in my neck. Even the best laid, most carefully thought out plans can quickly go to all Hades. Just remember that sometimes, when our plans go off the rails THAT may be part of the bigger plan after all.

Lift up Don’t Tear Down

Lift up Don’t Tear Down

Brothers and sisters in Christ we have a commandment we often fall short on. John 13:34-35“34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” I have been listening to a song lately I know was not meant to be a Christian song, but I hear it as such. God Gave Me You, the version I have is Dave Barnes. “God Gave me you for the ups and downs.” When I think of who that is I think of Christ. I know that Christ above all else is there for me no matter what situation I’m in, where I am, or how far off the path I’ve gotten. Something I’ve struggled with as of late is how individuals have been treating me. I have had several friends turn their backs on me, and walk away for one reason or another. I have put a lot of thought and self-reflection as to why that might be. I often think back to Job. As Job looses everything one by one he asks his good buddies to come over to his house. We all want to be around people to just lean on when things are tough. We expect our friends to help us bare our crosses, help us get through. When you’re single you expect your friends to get you out of the house. When you’re grieving for the loss of loved ones you expect your friends to be there as a shoulder to cry on. We expect people to be there for us not just because we feel it’s the right thing to do, but it’s actually what they are supposed to do. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” Why is this so difficult for some to do?

I know a doctor trained in Dialectible Behavior Therapy, and I asked why as a people do we focus so much on the negative rather then the positive. The answer was fairly straight forward, she said, our brains have a natural response to negative because that’s what keeps us alive. The negative actions stand out because it goes against the grain. Driving along going home you pass by a dozen cars doing the right thing, but then a car cuts you off. You won’t remember the 12 cars doing the right thing, that 1 car however will be what stands out. The more I thought about what she said the more it made sense.

I have been using Facebook lately to spread the word of this blog. I post once or twice a day, and as I have felt my blog has been doing well, I’ve noticed amongst my Facebook friends it’s not really picked up. I went about 2 months without posting anything except the auto post of my blog. I had a rough day and I posted something about manners, how some people will just leave you high and dry and how rude I felt that was. My page exploded with angry posts about how people are busy, and I shouldn’t be shaming my friends, and how I should keep those types of posts to myself. I was in shock to see such feedback. I post some beautiful pieces of writing, highly uplifting, and scripturally based, and I don’t get more then maybe 1 thumb up 4-5 if I’m truly lucky. Of all things to get noticed this one factual and understandable frustration gets all the attention. I thought to myself, what about everything else I’ve done? The fact is that it matters to the people who read it, and those who don’t see only what they want to see.

Love is harder then hate. Thinking positive is harder then negative, and those who do think positive have to work harder. If it’s true that our brains are naturally wired to focus on the negative things for whatever reason, being negative is the easy way out. Learning to focus on God, and do Gods will is a difficult road. As many of my so called friends have abandoned ship, I find it interesting that they do so when I fully devote my life to Jesus. It seems my life is going through a process of cleansing, weeding out those who are of little use to my ministry. The ones left in my life will be the ones who’ve helped me bare my cross when it was too heavy to carry. We must learn to walk with patience and love for our brothers and sisters who’ve yet to realize the true power of the Holy Spirit. The Cross is heavy for us all to bare and for some the cross can be so heavy we collapse under the weight of it. We have to have more patience with our loved ones, and understand that how we treat someone when they are going through a hard time is going to be remembered. How do you want to be treated with your life is in shambles? Make the choice to lift up your neighbors and help them in their time of need. No they may not take your advice, but if you just offer an ear, just be there to let them know you care, that itself will go a long way. We aren’t always there to fix their problems, often just to be a listening post, and a shoulder. Be kind because it only takes a moment without hope to watch the candle be extinguished. Remind people by your actions that good people still exist. Remind them that love is still stronger then hate. And if you ever have a problem you just can’t carry, lean on me.

When The Sun Sets, Resetting for Tomorrow

When The Sun Sets, Resetting for Tomorrow

Have you ever sat and watched a sunset? How does the sun setting make you feel? I have always loved it because of the colors it creates on the clouds, watching it change almost every minute. The sight of the stars coming out, the moon shining, the vastness of the night sky reminds me of how vast God is, and how small we really are. When I say small I don’t mean insignificant. I have come to realize that every life is extremely valuable and significant. There is so much to be thankful for by the end of every day. Even when we’ve had a horrible day the blessings that continue to flow through our path is immeasurable.

I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying ‘never go to bed angry.’ That’s great advice. Usually when we go to bed angry we sleep horribly. There is merit to the thought process of not doing this. There are a few things to keep in mind. First, what is there to be gained by continuing the fight with whoever you’re arguing with? Second, is the argument something you’d argue with yourself? Lets start with the 2nd one. If you are with someone and you argue, and yell and scream you’re really only hurting yourself. The Devil wants to create a wedge in your happiness and when you cannot have a reasonable conversation anymore you’ve gotten to the point where you are not just hurting yourself, but your significant other, and God. When you marry you become one flesh. You must remember how important it is to be that united body under God. Now onto the 1st point, negotiation is a lost art it seems. Why do we not learn to negotiate and compromise earlier in a fight? Why do we not find a way to prevent the argument from occurring in the first place? People will always disagree that’s the nature of individuality and opinions, but that doesn’t mean arguments can’t be avoided. We need to remember that God brings us together to better ourselves.

What about when we are having a bad day, a string of bad luck, we feel like we can’t just catch a break? Life isn’t a video game, there’s not reset button, there’s no saving and picking it up later, but what we do have is sleep, rest, and a new day. What a crazy idea it would be if we could actually let go of our troubles, and start the next day with a fresh perspective, a fresh start, and actually allowing yourself to actually hit the reset button. Really, it’s not so far fetched. If we learn to pray and meditate every night before bed when we pray for peace, pray for wisdom, and pray for the answers to whatever situation you find yourself in. No matter the situation we can use a few simple tools on our tool belt. First, allow yourself to decide what mindset you’re in. Are you in wise mind, or emotion mind? We can often find ourselves in a predicament where we are stuck. We’ve lost the ability to rationalize and be more self aware of the feelings and emotions that are activated in our times of stress. Learning to radically accept, changing your mindset, negotiating, compromising, and in general learn how to be reasonable without passing harmful judgments, time and again making things worse.

The new day gives us a ability to attack a problem differently. The new day gives us a fresh start and when we trust in the Lord to take away or lighten our load nothing is too difficult for our God. 2 Corinthians 4:16 “For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward [man] is renewed day by day.” We pray to God every night for renewed spirit and we shall have it. Luke 1:77-80 “77 To give knowledge of salvation unto his people by the remission of their sins, 78 Through the tender mercy of our God; whereby the dayspring from on high hath visited us, 79 To give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.” We must understand that every day we pray and we as for the Spirit to bless us, its just a matter of letting yourself have faith that God is in control. You may wake up in the morning and find yourself continuing to deal with the same situation you were when you went to bed. If the problem still persists try to change your perspective. Try to find the lesson you are to learn. Try to solve the problem using scripture, finding the solution God would be most pleased with. Allow your soul to catch fire with Christ. Allow yourself to embrace your cross with zeal. With every sun rise is a new page, a new chapter and since we never know what our future holds, why not try to embrace the sunrise and see where the wind takes you.

No matter the situation, the hardships, the horrors you may be facing in your life, there’s always hope. Proverbs 24:14 “Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off.” This sentiment is echoed again in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. “ We may have troubles, but if Christ suffered during the crucifixion a little suffering on our own is nothing. 1 Corinthians 15:19 “If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.” As Christians we know we will endure persecution and hardships. We know because we’re told we would time and time again throughout the New Testament. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18  “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” This is not an easy thing to do, and it will take time to learn. Because Christ lives we know that we can overcome the toils of the world and reach for the sky every day. We can face tomorrow with fresh tenacity because our God says Christ died so we could live. With each new sunrise we have a fresh start to reach others, minister the word, preach the Gospel, and make the world a better place. Proverbs 27:1 “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” When we take each day by it’s appropriate action we find that we put to much stock in our own plans. We try to plan every detail of our lives and how rarely are we correct. James 4:14 “Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.”

In closing let the night wash away the mistakes of the day. Let the sleep and rest you find renew your spirit for the Lord. As the sun rises the next morning and wipes away the stars, so shall it wipe away your tears and worries. Have faith in the dawn, and have faith that in and through God all things remain possible.

 

 

The Fallen

The Fallen

Riding into battle with swords raised the cavalry charged. For freedom they fight, or so they say, the brothers beside is why they stay. No ribbons, no parade, no heroes welcome, just a quiet house. The ones who live survive with guilt, the battle rages and never sleeps. The truth in the horrors are no fiction to see.

The fallen we miss and tears we cry. The family’s loss will leave them empty inside. The truth is held, but few will hear. The fallen at peace, the end was there. The memories are trapped for those who remain he love and loss for those who were slain.

We grill the food, and drink the beer, the music and friends to gather around. Let’s not forget the ones who are gone. John 15:13 “13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” We remember the fallen and the families left behind. The ones who hold the nightmares of the lost remember them as well. Pray for them and never forget.

War is hell and never leaves those who experience it. ‘Only the dead have seen the end of war’ Plato. Pray for peace, and pray for comfort. Pray for the remembrance of and pray for resolute to support. What does it mean to give up ones life for his friends? Mark 10:45 “45 For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.” We were held captive by our sins. We were forever hopeless until the sacrifice of Christ for all of us. The price of eternal salvation was a steep one. Romans 5:6-8 “6 For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. 8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

 If we have no hope in our lives what do we fight for? The question begs for the answers. Where does our compass point if there is not moral judgments that are cement. When anything is based on societies rules, which change through the generations, what do we fight for? If there is nothing to hope for then why give up anything for anyone else? Christ gave us hope. The promise of God to eternal salvation was paid for in full. Hope was then restored to all of us. Matthew 16:24-26 “24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. 25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. 26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” Today we celebrate the fallen and remember that they fought and died for what the believed in. The freedoms of this country have been paid for at a high price. Don’t let those lives have died in vein.

Surrender ones self to the Lord and you shall live. When we surrender to something higher then ourselves we let go of our selfish wants, we may live and actually live, and for the ones who’ve died we live. We live with the horrors and nightmares from war. We remember what it takes to keep and maintain peace. Let us never forget.

The Absence of Manners and Accountability

The Absence of Manners and Accountability

When you’re trying to get back out there and meet new people after a divorce it can be tough. The world’s a different place now then what it was 15 years ago. This new age of mini computers seconded as phones, Internet accessibility, apps a dime a dozen at the app store, and texting. We’ve become a culture of faceless conversations if we have conversations at all. We abbreviate everything, we no longer use complete and accurate sentences, and worst of all it appears we no longer know how to make a conversation work, even if it’s just small talk.

I’ve noticed that when you are trying to get to know someone, or at least when I’m trying to get to know someone, I tend to ask a lot of questions. Their likes, dislikes, and favorites of whatever I can think of. I’ll ask a ton of questions, but I notice I’m not being asked anything. A few thoughts run through my head. Are they interested? They don’t care to know the small stuff, or the art of communication is dead.

There may be another possibility all together, manners and accountability. Do we forget that the people on the other side of the phone are people? We don’t have a connection with them, we’ve never met them, we’ve never seen them, so if we just drop them, that’s it, they’re gone. There’s no accountability for it because all you have to do is block a number, and soon they fade out of memory all together. Oh I’ve gotten every manor of excuses regarding long periods of absence. I was busy however is the most common. The idea of busy doesn’t escape my thought. Perhaps they are busy. Too busy to send a 10 second text to say you’re busy? See there in lies the lack of manners. It’s just rude behavior. Years ago, I was taught when I received a letter it was rude not to reply. It’s the same if someone gets you a gift, you reply with a thank you card. During Christmas or weddings, thank you cards are very common, but more importantly known as proper etiquette. It seems this is a lacking part of human society today.

The result of leaving someone high and dry can be hurtful for them. No matter the circumstance, when you leave someone without warning, without apparent provocation, it’s easy for that person to become self conscious, asking themselves what they did, was it something they said, did someone better come along? Sadly these thoughts and feelings have come to the surface for me. After the divorce I became much more noticeable when people drop off for months on end. The part that hurts the most is when it’s in the middle of a conversation. They see the message, you know they have, and then all of a sudden they are gone. Maybe it’s a character flaw I need to work on, but I find that to be very rude. I know a lot of people that do it often, and I’ve met new people that do it and they are gone forever.

I think part of the big problem is conflict. It’s easier to walk away and leave someone with questions, then be honest and have a real conversation. I think people run away at the first word that they don’t care for. Have we really become so sensitive? No matter the ups and downs in life we should be kind and respectful. We never truly know the impact we have on someone, and if we only get to give them a snapshot of who we are, make the best impression you can. I respect someone so much more that responds with a message saying I’m not his or her type, rather than be ignored. Being ignored by friends is so much worse though. I get it people you’re busy, you have lives, and it would be somewhat alright if you only did it once in a while, but people that do it all the time, well that’s different.

Just be nice and respectful, really it’s not that hard. With the wide-open world at our fingertips, we can look over the world and pick and choose what we want. That doesn’t give you the right to be cruel, or inconsiderate. If you have the power to make someone’s day a little brighter, or at least leave them with a good impression, be a good Christian steward. If we are to love our neighbors as Christ commanded then if we are all one body, then treating someone with disrespect or being inconsiderate is like treating yourself that way. Fruit for thought.

For me, the technology created an outlet. Growing up how lonely and miserable I was I wished I could connect with more people. Sadly it’s a good and bad thing at the same time. As I myself spend a lot of time alone by sheer happenstance, I find the possibilities endless, which is great, till you get let down. Double the potential, double the potential for failure also. Really what it comes down to is priority. What we do in our lives and where people rank, or even things. It’s easy to forget the positive impacts simple gestures can have on people, and not knowing the baggage or burdens someone carries, how badly our actions can hurt someone, albeit unintentionally.

Through the Wilderness

Through the Wilderness

We trek and we wander, but do we ever know what we are looking for, what we are hoping for? The life of a broken man the pains the suffering are only a part of the trials. A man of dignity will slow down and in times of trouble ask God for direction. A man will be calm in the storm, cool in the fire, strong when others are weak. A true man will be a leader when times call for it. The never-ending supply of love and guidance from God will always get the faithful through the toughest of situations.

In a lot of early tribes a boy was placed in the wilderness and tested to survive. This test of bravery, intuition, resourcefulness, and a will to survive is what they determined a man. Today, we no longer have these rights of passage. A boy turns 18 and poof, he’s a man. No test of bravery, of skills, just an age. Sadly today, we call a man, a man, but often, they don’t act like a man, but a boy instead.

Today a male will lay with a female and when she gets pregnant the boy will leaver her high and dry. Being able to make a child does not make you a man, taking care of your responsibilities, being a father to your child, that’s what makes you a man.

Sometimes bad things happen, and sometimes people make bad choices. Even when there is a difference of opinion, or a falling out, how you move forward how you behave in the day-to-day decisions will tell the world the type of people you are. I asked a friend yesterday in fact, “In our life, how often does someone view us as the villain in our story?” I find that to be an interesting conundrum. A matter of opinion, perspective can change how someone is viewed. I am of firm belief that when the majority sides with you you’re probably doing it right. What do we do when we are tested, when we are baited to stoop to someone’s level, how will we manage the temptation. It’s easy to let selfishness, greed, wants and self gratification take over and drive you from decision to decision.

I never imagined seeing the downward spiral so closely in my life. The evil deeds of someone can easily come about anytime. It’s a hard balance to know the monster from within can surface at any time. It’s so important to maintain a sense of dignity and Christian moral values in times of stress and distress. Proverbs 6:12-16 “A worthless person, a wicked man, goes about with crooked speech, winks with his eyes, signals with his feet, points with his finger, with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord; therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly; in a moment he will be broken beyond healing. There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him:” God does not approve of evil or wicked actions. Ecclesiastes 12:14 “For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.”

 Some day you and all will have to answer for your sins. Each and every thought, every action, will be accounted for at the Day of Judgment. When you are standing before God and you realize you’ve done wrong that is too late. You must repent prior to death. Acts 3:19 “Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out,” No one is free from knowing their sins and doing the sinful nature anyway. “17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” Time on earth is finite. We never know how long we have, but if we wait till our dying breath, saying you’re sorry isn’t the same as repenting. Repenting is actually changing behavior. One of my best friends and my Pastor put it this way, “Anyone can say they are sorry and mean it to a degree. Repentance is an action in which you take steps specifically to right the wrong that was committed to the best of your ability. I can say I’m sorry I broke your Arrow Funko Pop. Repentance is replacing it with a new one plus Slade, and specifically not breaking something else of yours again.” (Rev. Glen Newsome, Jr.) How many times have you or someone you know apologized and went right on doing the same behavior they just said they were sorry for? In time that ‘sorry’ no longer means as much as it once had.

Sadly, as we find our way through the wilderness of life we must learn to grow into manhood, womanhood, but also grow in our faith and live our lives as good faithful Christians. No matter the hurt someone places on you, forgiveness is not optional. It doesn’t matter if there is an apology or repentance. Forgiveness is something we are told we must do and do with all our hearts. Never forget that.

Identity

Identity

I was told recently there are few Christian men. Convictions to stand up for Christ and accept the Salvation in Christ must be shared. As a man we must understand our place. Why is it that so many women complain about the lack of good guys? Are there really that few good guys out there, or is that a myth. 1 Timothy 5:8 “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” Who do you want to be?

I’ve spent a lot of time these last few months considering my own place in the world and my identity. The man I want to be is a good Godly man, faithful, a good significant other, some day a good father. Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he [it is] that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.” It pains me that there are people out there that are cruel for selfish reasons. It pains me that because of other people’s selfish thought, selfish nature, good people faithful people have been hurt. Despite so much pain and suffering I’ve been through an awful lot, and I would like to think I’ve acted with distinction, and that my actions would honor God.

The true nature of Christianity is to be Christ like. 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.” It’s easy to fall pray to the expectations of the world. The world’s cruel and evil nature can easily rub off on someone. It’s hard to be a good man in a world so dark and corruptible as ours.

Sadly it seems that finding a good Godly woman has been equally has difficult. The mistakes I have made in my life remind me that a good person may not always stay that way. I’ve struggled with the idea that someone can change so much. Have they changed, or where they hiding who they really were this whole time? It’s hard to travel down that rabbit hole. The lies the Devil whispers into your ear can sound good and can get you to fall for bad decisions.

Your identity shouldn’t fall within your job, or who someone else says you are. People can say all kinds of mean and cruel things to you. As difficult as it may be to the contrary we shouldn’t allow other’s negative actions towards us influence how we see ourselves. I’ve spent my life trying to overcome this, and sadly, I’ve only had minimal success at best. 1 Corinthians 12:27 “Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.” Because we are members of Christ’s family which is defined Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” We cannot loose our hope because of the Devil, the Devil’s work that is perpetrated by the evil of mankind.

Try not to let the world define you. Try not to let other people’s anger or hatred tell you who you are. Be the person you want to be. Follow the light of the Lord and you will find your place in this world. Only through Jesus will you find your place. Have faith, and trust in the Lord.

Freedom

Freedom

Today a weight lifted from my shoulders. The world lifted such a heavy burden today. Months of prayer have finally paid off. I don’t know why it took so long to have this wrap up, to finally be free of my chains, but today was the day.

Anyway we are chained down, we all have trials, and we all have burdens. What is your trouble? What is your own prison that holds your mind, your body behind? No matter what that looks like know that there is always a key to every lock, there’s always a parachute for every jump.

The length of time it takes to overcome a trial, or even the steepness of that mountain to cross doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you can take the step forward, one step after another and continue to push forward till the mission is completed. As a veteran I know the price of freedom is high, but I know that in the pursuit and conquest of peace is one of a driving force intent on success. Some days of course are going to be harder then others. Some days will feel as dark as can be as depressing and bleak then you’ve ever felt.

Carrying a burden and lifting others up is important. Fighting for freedom is a road that will ever be traveled alone. Galatians 5:1 “Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.” Some say freedom is free, but I tend to disagree. I say freedom is won, by the barrel of a gun. The cost of that freedom is high. Men and women die in the pursuit of that freedom. Freedom to be able to face your accuser in a court of law, to being able to vote as young black women. No matter what you are free from, persecution, bondage, finances, and hurtful relationships, anything that essentially holds you prisoner.

Know that prayer is powerful and beyond a doubt a strong weapon in the fight for freedom. John 8:32 “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” I find myself free at last. The last two months have felt crushing and I have never stopped my prayers. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” No matter the hurt, the pain, the beauty that is to come is there for the taking. Freedom is allowing your voice to be heard.

8 months ago I found a family I never knew I had. Ever since the group walked in my hospital room and I cried, I knew that I would survive and thrive. Your fight for freedom isn’t one you have to have to take alone. Be free of the pain, be free of the worry, and you can find yourself scaling the mountainous dilemma in front of you.

The Lost Toy

The Lost Toy

The toy was new and shiny. The girl who first got this toy love it, treasured it, played with it and kept it for many years. The toy felt loved and needed. The toy noticed over the years it was played with a little less as time continued on. The toy would sit on the shelf longer, until eventually the toy couldn’t remember the last time it had even been touched. The toy felt sad wondering what happened. Why didn’t she come around anymore, why didn’t she play with me anymore. The toy felt horrible just sitting on the shelf gathering dust. The amount of time the toy spent alone went on with no attention was incalculable.

Lonely and alone the toy began to feel nothing. The emptiness the toy felt drifted from emptiness to darkness, and eventually nothing at all. Years would go by and the toy motionless now covered with years of dust the memory of being loved was now almost a dream. Had it actually happened, had the toy actually been played with ever, or was it all just an illusion? The toy wrestled with itself for a long time about its purpose, it’s self worth. The questions would plague the poor forgotten little toy for another few years.

One day the toy found itself in a box, the box was in a car. Where am I going the toy asked? What’s going on the toy said afraid of knowing the truth. The box was taken from the car and placed in the intake room of the local thrift store. There the box lay and the toy waited in the darkness. The toy didn’t wait too long before the light shined through and soon the toy was picked up by a nice older lady. She cleaned the toy up, got the years of dust off and the toy was placed on a shelf right out in front.

It wasn’t more then a day or so before the toy was found by a nice little girl. She picked it up and hugged it close. She begged her mom for it and finally her mom acquiesced. The little girl quickly fell in love with the toy. The toy felt new, revived, and full of joy. Finally the toy thought a fresh life, a new life. It was great to be loved again. The toy no longer felt worthless, the toy no longer felt alone and abandoned. Why didn’t the first little girl want me anymore the toy thought. What happens when this girl doesn’t want me anymore? Will I be abandoned by this girl too? Quickly the toy felt sad. The girl played with the toy every day, yet the toy wasn’t ever satisfied with its new life. Sad and guarded the toy remained.

The girl still loved the toy very much even after several more years. The toy never felt as happy as it once did. Once hurt, once betrayed, once left for dead and forgotten the toy never fully recovered. It enjoyed the time with the little girl. The toy was carried through elementary, kept up and cleaned, adored through the time in high school, and even brought onto college. The toy held on waiting still for day the girl would leave it. The day however never came. The girl loved the toy so much that one day the toy was passed on to the girl’s daughter. The toys care was continued through the daughter. A long happy life the toy should have had.

When we don’t let go of our past what is to be done with you? Proverbs 17:22A merry heart doeth good [like] a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” We must learn to let go of our pain, never to hold onto the anger and fear it leaves behind. The pain will never leave completely, but the scars on our hearts can be used as a reminder not of the pain, but that of survival. No matter the good and bad we face we must understand that our story isn’t done being written. We mustn’t pretend to know and understand the workings of God behind the curtain. Romans 12:12 “Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;” We must always rejoice in the grief and the bliss we feel because in all times the God of all watches over us and all we care about. John 16:22 “And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.” Even though the now might feel forever, the now might feel crushing, we must always remember God will never leave us nor forsake us. If someone decides to leave you, or abandon you, do not put your faith in other people. Put your faith in Christ only. Your self worth must never rely on others. Your happiness should be with God and God only. It is in God that today’s suffering can be removed, and more importantly the suffering of this life when it’s time will pass away. The love of Christ and his perfect Passover sacrifice ensured for us to be able to live a Holy Happy life in eternity. No one can take that from you. Not a parent, not a wife, or husband, not your children, no one but Satan can take away your joy, and Satan can only take away what you allow to be taken. Do not allow Satan to tempt you or pull you away from love. Trust in your Lord the giver of all, and trust that when one love falls away, open your heart to love again. Nothing happens without purpose or reason. I’m sure at some point we’ve all felt alone and lost, forgotten, abandoned by those whom we’ve loved the most. Don’t let your heart be hardened by the decision of another. Don’t let yourself be drawn into the lies of Satan that no one will ever love you as much, want you as much, or give you as much pleasure in your life. Do not find meaning in the hands of others. Satan wants you to doubt yourself, He wants you to question your worth. Once those thoughts take hold there’s no telling how much damage the Devil can do. You are special because God says you are. Praise God because if someone doesn’t want you, know God does, and it’s that person’s loss. For each Yin there is a Yang. For each Bonny there is a Clide. For each Romeo there is a Juliet. When Satan starts to gain ground fall back on one of the greatest fictional characters of all time. Captain Picard. “We’ve made too many compromises already to many retreats. They invade our space and we fall back, they assimilate entire worlds and we fall back. Not again, the line must be drawn here, this far, no farther.” Give the Devil an inch, he’ll take a mile. Don’t fall for the tempters tricks and deceptions. Have faith that God may allow someone to walk away from your life, but in God’s time His will, will be done. We must love ourselves and when we show God what we can handle,  only then when we show God we are worthy of such gifts, when it’s the right time, God will grant us our desires, when and if it’s for our good. Don’t let heartache hold you back from living. Don’t let anything hold you back from living and loving for God!

Broken Arrow

Broken Arrow

 ‘Because He Lives’ By Matt Maher

I was dead in the grave

I was covered in sin and shame

I heard mercy call my name

He rolled the stone away

 Amen, Amen

I’m alive, I’m alive

Because He lives

Amen, Amen

Let my song join the one that never ends

 

We live because he lives. We can never repay for the harm and damage we’ve done to God all these years. We hurt others and we damage relationships we’ve once cherished and loved. We drove nails into our savior’s hands and feet. We laid a crown of thorns upon his head and mocked him, spit on him, even cast lots for remains of his clothing. The King of the Jews, the soldiers laughed as he slowly asphyxiated. “Tetelestai” Jesus proclaimed which translated means it is finished. Not that he was saying is last, but with his last heartbeat all of mankind’s sins would be forgiven. Christ was the sacrificial lamb, and despite everything we have done, despite everything humanity would do in the future, the atrocities proclaimed in the name of religion, all the pain we would cast upon one another, forgiveness in love was and is the path to an eternity of perfection with our creator.

As an archer I believe strongly in the idea that an arrow is strong, and as true as the archer who shoots it. In the right hands an arrow can bring death and life at the same time. An archer can defend ones home, defend ones kingdom against invaders, and provide needed food for their family. An archer must take care of his bow and arrows in order for them to continue to do what he needs. If an arrow completely breaks there are only some things an archer can do to repair the damage. Damage will come and maintenance and care will be needed to maintain. Our faith is the same way. If we do not maintain our faith, our constant days in prayer, reading and study of scripture, our fellowship with other Christians, we too will find that our faith will break.

A while back someone did something that I felt was a betrayal of the deepest kind. They made a decision for what they must have thought was right, but it hurt me dearly. I thought that friendship, that bond that was shared was stronger then that, but in that moment I felt the stab in the heart on a very arrow I once used. The arrow broke in half, and I believed it could never be repaired. I believed after that kind of betrayal nothing could ever repair the damage. What if I was wrong? It wasn’t about forgiveness; it was about understanding the motive. What if because of my own vantage point I couldn’t see the whole story, what if there was more to it?

What I know is no matter the pain the right thing to do is offer forgiveness. We were never worthy of the forgiveness we were given by Christ, but alas we Live because Jesus Died. No matter what the wound is, forgiveness is about harmony. Matthew 6:14-15 14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Often I hear people say I forgive you, but I’m still mad at you. I say this isn’t true forgiveness. If you truly forgive someone you hold nothing against him or her any longer. If someone truly repents from then on forgive. Ephesians 4:31-32 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Believe though there is a difference between repenting and a sorry. Repenting is taking action to make things right. This to try and ensure the grievance won’t happen again. An apology must be from the heart, not just ‘sorry’ because just a sorry may mean I’m sorry I got caught. What is that apology if the action continues to happen? If someone truly is sorry, and there is real repentance in their heart try to take them at their word. REMEMBER THOUGH, FORGIVENESS DOES NOT REQUIRE AN APOLOGY FROM THE OTHER PERSON!

Don’t let anger and hate break an arrow. Don’t let your personal feelings cloud your judgment. Always keep in mind there are two sides to a story and we may never know all of it. We may never understand the why and the how. Love is the key and love is the answer. Gods love is greater and stronger then we will ever know, and if we are to live Christ Like then we must be able to channel at least a little of that love and don’t allow anger and hate to break any of our arrows. We are weapons for Christ, and in that our arrows are our weapons we use to spread the Holy Spirit in the Word of God. Remember we must perform maintenance on our hearts just like our bow, and when we clear out the imperfections, when we watch for cracks, or damages, we can fix them before they become major problems. No matter how far you’ve gone down a path we can always unmake a mistake by truly repenting in our hearts, and asking for forgiveness. Don’t let fear and doubt keep you from salvation.

I say to you lift your hands to the sky and praise your God and ask for Forgiveness for all you’ve done. Forgive all those who’ve wronged you and hurt you. Go to God with a clear heart, and let the Holy Spirit fill it. There will always be people out there to hurt us, but we don’t have to hold onto that anger that hate. Offer up yourself, and be a warrior for God. Pick up your bow and follow God. Strengthen them with love, hope, forgiveness, and your arrows will never be broken by the Devil.