Tag: friends

Throat punched

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Throat punched
So as I sit here with my neck in a brace, when I talk not only do I sound it, I feel like I’ve been throat punched. Yes that’s what happens when you have surgery. But let me tell you. I couldn’t be more lucky. Gods grace and perfect timing all the time. 
There were complications in surgery. My disc ruptured and fluid went into my spinal column. They cleaned it up but I needed to be closely watched. There may have been some hematoma around my incision. 
Thankfully the rupture was found and didn’t do permanent damage. In all the CT’s, the risky MRI (because of shrapnel in my lung) not one of these scans showed the disk had ruptured. As I’m not a doctor I cannot obviously speak clearly of the dangers of that fluid where it doesn’t belong. But I do know it’s BAD! 
Because Gods perfect in His timing and love everything went well even with the complications. Even the new raspier voice I have just plays into effect when I wear the mask. All things considered I’m pretty darn happy. 
Yesterday I couldn’t squeeze my ball and now I can squeeze it with all my might and it’s beautiful. I can walk with my head held high and arms swinging. Gods touched my body through the hands of my surgeons and have given me my life back. I may have some troubles the rest of my life but for now, it seems all of that is within acceptable limits. 
Believe in the power of prayer and love. From the prayer shawl I received from my church, the love of my Associate Pastor, my mom, and everyone near and far that prayed for me before during and after my surgery. All this prayer I have felt the reward. I know I live on to fight the Devil for another day. 
For you all wary souls like my one was, take heart knowing the Lord of all the wonders of this world is with you, right there suffering your sufferings. Believe and know the faithful, the just, the kind, will be rewarded. We may not always say or do the right things to one another but we must know it and apologize for it. Own up to our mistakes and ask for the forgiveness we should. 
Stay connected to God and be blessed by his touch. God bless all of you! 

The Improvised

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The improvised 
Sitting here in the ER alone as I’ve sent mom home to rest, gather supplies, and get ready for the long day, I find myself pondering what I guess most people ponder when looking at a life altering surgery. Who are my loved ones, who cares who doesn’t? Is my Will complete and dang did I leave the stove on? I am reminded of so many one liners but I’ll spare all of you the boring repartee and just know that I haven’t forgotten about my avid readers. I may be out for the day, but as long as I have a phone I’ll still work my guru magic and post something. 
While I was here I was able to doodle a little something and while it’s not finished because as you’ll all see I’m no artist, I haven’t lost sight of my goal. I will continue to work on my ministries and with Gods grace continue to touch lives. So as I get ready for what looks so far to be surgery, back surgery it is. While the surgeons are deliberating and I’m going on almost 24 hours awake, I’m reminded of some bible verses. 
1 Peter 1:6-7 “6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: 7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:”
Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.”
We may have setback and we may have plans that go off the rails but even in the darkest of days the brightest of flowers may still bloom. 

Love Unconditional

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Love Unconditional

I’ve been putting a lot of thought into the word love. What does it mean to love something? When we think of love we think of our parents, siblings, closest friends, but we also think of our favorite show, our favorite food, our favorite pass time activity. The truth is in our society today the word just gets tossed around flippantly. The truth is, I think love is something that when we loose the object of our affection it breaks us apart inside. When we are dating in school we often throw the word around love and sure I don’t want to downplay those emotions, but the proof is in the pudding, often times that’s just puppy love and something we get over pretty quick once it’s gone. True love however is something a little more difficult to come by. The Bible has a pretty air tight description of love, and when we look at our lives, and we compare it to this, the comparisons are often going to leave you realizing, maybe it’s not love after all. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.” Now I know what you’re thinking, yes I am talking about love, and yes so is 1 Corinthians. “Charity is the epitome of perfection in the Christian life. It is the “greatest” of the three abiding virtues” (http://www.learnthebible.org/charity-or-love.html) If we look at the definition of love, and compare it to what we say to others, are we actually in line with scripture, or just a word we use because we don’t know anything better to say?

Lets make it easier to understand a little. When you look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” How often in our own lives do we drudge up mistakes our partner made 2 years ago? How often do we hold a grudge, and for how long? How often do we love but only so long as we are worldly happy? There is so much in our lives today that draw us away from love. So much today that we don’t understand, but if we go to Scripture, if we study, we can finally unravel the strongest of lies, and the strongest of truths. John 15:13 “13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Jesus, Jesus laid down His perfect life as a perfect blemish less, sinless man that chose to be tortured, ridiculed, and murdered for us, for every single last one of us that in no way by our daily actions deserve such grace and mercy. The truth is, that’s LOVE. When we think about that kind of love, makes what we say about love look silly. How often do we see now in our world today divorce is a cancer on our society, and it runs unchecked destroying homes left and right. We see marriage as expendable, as an option that so long it benefits me, so long as I am getting something out of it, I’ll stay married. THE QUESTION I ASK TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU, WHAT ARE YOU GIVING IN YOUR MARRIAGE? If we look a little deeper we see what the definition of love is, we see what is says in John, but what about husbands and wives? Ephesians 5:25 “25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,” Yes that means you are supposed to love your wives so much that you sacrifice unconditionally to her. You sacrifice yourself to give her everything she needs. Note I said need, not want. The difference between need and want is an entirely separate blog.

Husbands, need to sacrifice worldly things, worldly desires, worldly distractions for his wife. Ephesians 5:22-24 “22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Many people look at this section of scripture and scoff, and I really question why that is. I get the feminist movement, and women can do anything a man can do and all that stuff, and that’s great, but the truth is, women and men aren’t the same. We are wired differently in the brains, we have different strengths and weaknesses, and this isn’t talking about slavery this is talking about letting go of ones worldly self. Letting go of the fleshy desires, and allowing yourself to be completely taken in by your husband. As the husband loves the wife as he died for us, so shall the husband die for his wife. Think about this, when we get married, we often think of it as the old ball in chain, the tying of the knot, the end or death of an era. Well, in some parts yes, that’s exactly what it is. But if we look at death as a bad thing, a negative thing, sure we will be going into that marriage under negative premise and then that’s where the problems start to set in. Death is a glorious thing, a wonderful thing, because as a Christian we believe that death of us is the gateway to an eternal life of perfection and love. If we are to truly love our wives, love our husbands we must allow the old part of us to die off. Think of love and marriage like a butterfly. The caterpillar is you before you get married. The marriage is the cocoon. When you emerge married that fuzzy old caterpillar is gone, fundamentally changed into a beautiful creature no longer bound to crawl around, but to soar, to fly, to be a wonder of nature.

How wonderful it would be if we actually saw marriage that way. How wonderful it would be if we as a people were able to see ourselves and combining our selves into one body and actually selflessly giving up our selves and wanting only to please our partner. To those who are struggling in your marriages, I offer this, in all things God can heal, and with work, and saying it a hundred times, a thousand times, I forgive you, forgive the wrongs your partner has done. Remember the way you felt the day you got married and realize if both of you, if both the Husband and the Wife learn to forgive, learn to accept, learn to change because marriage is a fundamental change. You are no longer you, you become y’all. When we loose sight of the togetherness, the us in the marriage and we start to focus on the me, start to focus on the what does Arrow Preacher want, we loose sight of the (what) can I do for my spouse? What can I do to bring happiness to my beloved today? Human greed is one of the strongest sins to pull us back into the world, but two are stronger then one. Pouring of sand of two different colors into a jar that sand can never be completely separated. There’s reason sand if often used in marriage ceremonies. It’s a constant visual reminder that once together, you shall never break apart, bonded into one entity, one jar, and as rope is stronger when woven together, so shall you be stronger when you come to realize the true definition of love, the true understanding of what Scripture is talking about, and let go of your worldly sins, those desires that draw you away from your spouse. The Devil wants to break up marriage because he’s been doing it since the beginning. Marriage was the plan, for man to not be alone, and he knows that separated the divide and concur makes for an easier target. Don’t take the bait. Don’t allow Satan to ruin your union. Fight back, and fight for each other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

No, I Don’t Wanna Do That!

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No, I Don’t Wanna Do That!

Children, we are big babies a lot of the time. We are often told we need to do something and we fuss and complain about doing it. Even when it’s the right thing to do, or something we absolutely must do. How often do we throw our adult temper tantrums, or find ways to silently protest the daunting task of being an adult? (Spoiler Alert Lego Batman) I was watching Lego Batman the other day and when Alfred tells Bruce he has to go to Commissioner Gordan’s retirement party Bruce throws this huge tantrum. He grumbally says “No, I don’t wanna do that!” He throws himself to the ground, screams No over and over as he makes his way to the stairs, flops up the stairs still screaming no, then starts to beatbox and ends with a resounding NO. Alfred sweetens the honey pot and Bruce agrees to go. See God’s not that way with us most of the time. When we tell God no I see God up in the celestial heavens and says “Excuse me?” “Okay, well you want to do it your way, we’ll see about that.” I see God as having a bit of a parental sense of humor. When we don’t want to do something he lets us do things the hard way, and eventually when we get to the point of everything going wrong, he slaps us behind the head and says ‘Okay ya big dummy, you going to do it my way now?” And of course we reply “Yes God. I’m sorry.”

What happens to us when we rebel against God? Lets first look at the first to do that. Satan tried to go against God. Isaiah 14:12-15 “How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! [how] art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!13 For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.15 Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.” Satan was created by God as one of the Angels of Heaven, Lucifer Morning Star. The desires of Lucifer to lie and scheme were what caused Him to be cast from Heaven. John 8:44 “Ye are of [your] father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.” When we choose to sin, when we choose to rebel and go against our Father we are likened to Satan. Deuteronomy 28:47-48 “Because you did not serve the Lord your God with joyfulness and gladness of heart, because of the abundance of all things, therefore you shall serve your enemies whom the Lord will send against you, in hunger and thirst, in nakedness, and lacking everything. And he will put a yoke of iron on your neck until he has destroyed you.” God can and will take from us what we no longer deserve. Truly if the good things in our lives are gifts from our Father, and we are bad, doesn’t it fit that those good things will be taken away? In fact that very things happens and can be seen in Psalm 68:6 “God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners in prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.”

Proverbs 17:11 “An evil man seeks only rebellion, and a cruel messenger will be sent against him.” When we continue to go against God’s wishes for us, when we choose to turn our backs on God, when we choose to want the lusts of this world, and we choose to forsake everything we know, we can and will watch as the blessings we once had in our life are thrown away and when we realize what’s happening, usually it’s too late. Only when we repent of our sins, and attempt to right our wrongs will be again be blessed and life will be made right once again. Our Father isn’t mean, and He isn’t cruel, He just wants what’s best for us.

As I watched my own life fall apart I had to ask myself and evaluate what was I doing wrong? I believe two things happened in my life. First there were a few things I wasn’t doing according to Gods will. Second other people have free will and when they choose to sin sometimes we are just collateral damage. We must be careful with whom we associate with because if we are not we too may be caught in the crossfire. Choose your friends wisely and choose who you spend your time with, with more scrutiny. Godly friends and Godly counsel are the best choices in your life. If someone isn’t giving you advice from Scripture itself, chances are it’s a worldview and not one of Godly or Divine origin. The dangers of such advice are they will often lead you astray and cause you more harm. The only advice you will ever need is that what’s in scripture. Much like the film “The Skulls” they had a book with every contingency. Well, truthfully the Bible is our big book of guidelines and rules to live by. If we just read it and study it, we’d find that nearly everything we could think of today or deal with today at the root of any problem is talked about in the Bible. There truly is nothing new under the sun.

To the brink and back a survivors story

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To the brink and back a survivors story

A while back a guy I knew was going through a pretty rough time. He was depressed, and he was lonely with the whole world around him. His beautiful wife seemed to be going through a lot on her side of the fence also. See they’d been together for a while and there seemed to be some distance growing between them. He wanted to rush in and fix it, he wanted to be there and close the gap. She wanted space, and distance, and she started to grow attached to someone else. Eventually the affair would occur and he’d be left with trying to pick up the pieces of a broken home. When he realized there may be something deeper going on he decided to stay and fight. He devoted himself to doing things differently, hoping that she’d see the change and stay, but that’s not what happened. She left and with it taking the last bit of dignity he had. The day the gunshot rang out the world as he knew it changed. No hope, no belief that tomorrow would ever be better, he was overwhelmed and something snapped. His fight or flight response shut down and all he could see was his own pain. He wasn’t considering anyone else, or how his actions might affect them, and sadly, his actions would drastically hurt others. He chose the least vital place he could think of to cause pain but not death. He put a 9mm hallow through his shoulder. He knew it wouldn’t hit much because there’s not much there to hit. He was wrong though and the mistake nearly killed him. The bullet chipped his left clavicle when the gun jumped as he pulled the trigger. The bullet changed direction going down through his lung fracturing 3 ribs before going out his back. Ribs 2,3, and 7 each fractured and as the lung collapsed he lost consciousness. The pain he caused the loved ones around him was extensive. His blood loss should have killed him, but in the later weeks as he recovered he would tell the story how he apologized to God and God sent him back. Many people have been skeptical if what he heard and felt was just in his head, but it was strong enough to change who he is to this day.

While he still suffers from the injuries both physical and emotional the ones he’s most concerned with now are the people he hurt. His wife was traumatized by the incident. He told me once that he didn’t think she’d care one way or another. The problem is when we are consumed by our own pain it’s difficult, nay impossible to see or feel the pain from others. We can’t allow pain, and grief, and anger to fill us up to the point of absolute blindness to the people around us who love us and care for us. Even when there are arguments, or disagreements, that doesn’t mean the person hates you, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. No matter the pain we feel we can’t let that push us to do crazy dangerous things. Tomorrow will always come, and it’s better to win the war than the battle. There’s so much anger towards him by his friends for what he did. For a long time he didn’t understand that anger, he felt like he was the victim. The truth is they are both right. In each perspective pain was dealt. Traumas were experienced by those who were there and took care of him lying on the ground bleeding, and friends felt as if he was leaving them all behind to fend for themselves. Suicide is often looked at as a coward’s way out, and to some that perspective may be their truth. We must understand the nature of a vantage point, and learn to see beyond our own ideals, our own feelings, and try to understand the feelings of others. Not to say truth isn’t truth because it is. There are things we must know are true and there’s no debate in that truth. But when there’s a feeling behind a thought we must not allow ourselves to degrade someone because feelings are powerful. We don’t want to inadvertently pass judgment and do more harm because we don’t know why they feel a particular way, what got them to that point.

This is particularly important in a marriage. We may disagree on particular areas but the biggest question is, is the fight worth it? As the old saying goes, learn to pick your battles. If my friend could do one thing it would be take away the pain he caused. He often comes to me for prayers and for forgiveness. Forgiveness is a tricky thing when it comes to forgiving yourself. When we walk through life every day and are reminded of the pain we caused, it’s difficult to forgive ourselves when we know others haven’t forgiven us. The best things we can do is pray, and hope for forgiveness someday. We can never take back our actions, our words, but we can try to be mindful of what we say and do because those things can have lasting repercussions. Self-forgiveness starts with repentance. We can apologize but something big like that, it’s important to show those within your orbit that you truly are sorry for it, and know that you are trying everything you can do to make it better. My friend’s told me time and again how badly he wishes he could go and take back what happened that day. As he starts going down that rabbit hole I remind him often of the song by Casting Crowns, “What if you could go back and relive one day of your life all over again, and unmake the mistake that left you a million miles away from the you, you once knew, now yesterday’s shame keeps saying that you’ll never get back on track.” The truth in that is you’ll never get back to the you, you once knew. You’re never too far gone, but even as you turn around you’ll never be the same. It’s not about being the same, you don’t want to be the same. You want to be stronger, you want to be confident, and embrace your mistakes so you’ll never have to relive them again. God’s always with us no matter how far off track we get, and if you believe that after one step in the right direction the rest of the steps will get easier over time. When you’re walking on that path walking through the fire you burn your old self away. Hard Love by NeedToBreath “It’s not enough to just feel the flame You’ve gotta burn your old self away.” Embrace the fire and allow yourself to undergo the transformation to follow Christ. It’s a hard love but it’s worth it in the end. Give up and fall under God’s grace.

If my friend can come back from such a near death experience and be showered in God’s love, God’s grace and God’s blessings you can to. He turned his life around and everything he’s suffered through he takes none of the credit for his continued survival. Everything he has now he knows came from God, and he knows he wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for Gods grace. He’s got some great opportunities coming up and he’s excited to see how he can use his life, his gifts for Christ. I hope many of you can see the power of Gods grace and love. Let his life and success story be an inspiration to all of you. God Bless.

Don’t Be A Fair Weather Fan

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Don’t Be A Fair Weather Fan

We have all heard of the phrase fair weather fan. We realize that the term usually refers to sports of some kind, and always referring to sports where the team has a long streak of bad seasons and yet as soon as they turn around fans come out of the woods to cheer them on. But the moment the team goes south again the fans start to drop away. This behavior isn’t new and there is actually scripture to prove it.

As good Christians we are taught to follow God and to trust in God through every good day and bad. The truth is more Christians are like fair weather fans than devout followers of Christ. We look to God like a cosmic genie and only when things are going good do we look like good Christians. Sometimes when things go bad as long as it’s not “too” bad we treat God like Santa Claus saying “God if you get me outta this I’ll never do _________ again.” Of course they are usually empty promises. The truth is as long as the getting is good it’s easy to have faith, but when the day the troubles come we want the easy quick fix to make it better and when that doesn’t come we curse to the heavens stating how God’s forgotten us, or even worse that God never existed after all. Just like supporting your sport team when the are doing really well, but switching sides in the off years when things didn’t look so hot.

John 6:60-66 “60 When many of his disciples heard it, they said, “This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?” 61 But Jesus, knowing in himself that his disciples were grumbling about this, said to them, “Do you take offense at this? 62 Then what if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before? 63 It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. 64 But there are some of you who do not believe.” (For Jesus knew from the beginning who those were who did not believe, and who it was who would betray him.) 65 And he said, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father.” 66 After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him.” A little back-story for this longer verse is needed. Earlier in scripture Jesus had made sure to feed the great number of followers he had. After he crossed the lake and his disciples found him on the other side they wanted to go work for more food. This is when the nature of being a fair weather fan comes in. While the bellies were full everyone was happy, why not, they were getting free food, but when the message changed and it was no longer about getting the good stuff and easting some guys flesh and drinking his blood, a great many of them missed the point and in disgust decided to make like a tree and split. Jesus knew that in their hearts they didn’t believe and they didn’t truly follow. Knowing all these people would leave He Tested their faith anyway.

It’s easy for us to pass blame for the suffering of other; it’s easy for us to be angry at something bigger than us. Once we do that it makes the pain more manageable for some. Blame God, God’s the one who allowed this to happen. If God were so powerful then why would I be allowed to suffer like this? If we truly understood the nature of God, if we truly understand why bad things happen, and the true blame behind them, then we wouldn’t be so quick to flee from God’s side and remain loyal. Isn’t that a problem in today’s world though, loyalty? How quickly do marriages fall apart when it gets just a little rocky? We’ve become a fast food society that anything more than 5 minutes is unacceptable and we want to talk to the manager for lousy service. The problem with that is, the true manager is God, and we treat God like the guy at the check out counter.

God is with us every step of the way in our lives and by with us, I mean God endures each of our hardships we endure. God sacrificed ‘himself’ on the alter of self-sacrifice and we have the audacity to blame God when we stub our toe. Now I’m not saying that some problems are truly deep hurtful problems, but God is not the architect of bad days. 2 Thessalonians 2:7 “For the mystery of lawlessness is already at work. Only he who now restrains it will do so until he is out of the way.” Satan is the giver of all things evil. Satan was there the day evil entered the world, and will remain till the day God decides the time is right to vanquish evil from existence. Isn’t it better to stand with God in the fire, rather than stand apart and still be in the fire? Bad things will happen no matter what, and it’s a choice we must make as to where we want to be. The world is full of evil and yes God does allow it to happen, but sometimes we just need to let our kids learn life’s lessons the hard way. Sometimes horrible tragedies occur but that doesn’t mean that some good can’t come out of it. The key is knowing that God’s always working behind the scenes and those who are faithful will be rewarded for that faith.

“Moral evil is the immorality and pain and suffering and tragedy that come because we choose to be selfish, arrogant, uncaring, hateful and abusive.” Romans 3:23 says “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Andy Rau, Bible Gateway) The author of this blog entry touches on the Aurora movie theater shooting. The question was asked why them, why did so many have to die that fateful night, and the simple answer is because one man choose to do something evil. One person chooses to bring death to innocent people and the simple answer is Evil exists because of Satan. The Devil has been prowling around and causing problems since Adam and Eve. We don’t know why God has continued to allow this, but Jesus spoke clearly on pain and suffering, John 16:33, “You will have suffering in this world.” Jesus didn’t use the word might he was always very accurate in his choice of words. Will have suffering, and it’s our choice if we want to embrace our test and persevere, or if we want to struggle and fail. We may not always pass every test, or come out smelling like roses on the other side, but we have a choice to follow God and trust in God with everything we are, or we can come and go, treating God like a genie who is there for our own personal uses and amusement, though I promise you, if you believe God to be there for you because you feel you’ve earned it in some way, you’ve got another thing coming. Your sins are no more or less than those who drove the nails into the hands and feet of Jesus. You mine as well done it your self because we aren’t any more or less worthy of forgiveness then they were. We are not the judge and jury, and we don’t have the ability to know or see the whole picture. We are but tiny little insects in the grand scheme and because of that, we don’t deserve Gods grace or forgiveness yet we have it anyway. We should be humbled by our gifts, learn to find the good through the muck of the bad and focus on the blessings rather than the curse. Don’t flip flop sides when it’s convenient, search your heart and know that being on the side of Christ is the only side to truly choose from.

God,

Please forgive my sins and my arrogant presumptions of what life should be like,

Please allow me but a moment to see through your eyes and know that my troubles will be short, but if they are long give me your patience to wait them out. Give me your strength to persevere with you by my side.

Please give me the heart of loyalty that even when the times get the worst I can turn to you and know you are there waiting for me.

Lord please show me the blessings that I cannot see through the blinding of this storm.

Lord please grant me the wisdom to be there for others who are in need of a friend to help bare their cross, and help them see the good that’s still within this world.

Above all Lord, thank you for being by my side when the world is not, and thank you for walking with me when there is loneliness in my heart, and thank you for never giving up on me, even when I’ve given up on myself.

Amen.

Feeding the Darkness

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Feeding the Darkness 

After a tragedy in your life you may find yourself on a perpetual lope, you’re on repeat playing the same tone over and over again. In that you are holding onto the pain and suffering caused by whatever trauma you’ve endured. What happens when we get stuck? Anger breeds upon itself. Proverbs 29:11 “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.” When we allow ourselves to stay angry we put ourselves inside a fortress and we don’t allow anyone to enter. When we do that we cut off our relationship with anyone who wants to love us to include friends, family, and most importantly God. Ephesians 4:26-27 “26 In your anger do not sin” : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. 29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” This being a longer verse let’s talk about it. When we are angry we often find ourselves unable to make sound judgments. We open the door and everything we have is ripe for the taking when the Devil finds us in a state of suggestibility. The evil whispers in our ear to do things we usually wouldn’t do. I believe the general idea of these verses is telling us to turn that anger into something we can use. Redirect that anger and make good of it, allow ourselves to focus and help others. Build others up instead of tearing down in our anger. Find a way to let go of the bitterness, rage and anger that sit in the pit of our stomachs and spawn more negativity.

When we find ourselves getting angry which is a normal emotion, how we handle it is what’s important. Ecclesiastes 7:9 “9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” We must learn to extend our fuse, make it harder to be provoked to do something harsh. The Devil wants us to fly off the handle because when we do we often hurt those closest to us. This damages the positive relationships we have and thus harming the relationships with God our Father.

 The phrase “Kill um with kindness.” Isn’t just a clever euphemism it’s actually a Biblically derived statement. Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” When others get angry if we find a way to maintain calm, it’s hard for the other person to keep shouting when instead of the reverberation affect, you act as a dampener. It takes two people in the ring to box. Without the opponent you just look silly shadow boxing yourself. Proverbs 15:8 “18 A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.”

 Be the calm in every storm. When we argue with one another and we start to yell, we start to curse, we start to dredge up the past, when we start resorting to name calling and all manner of vial things spew from your mouth, that is feeding the darkness. It’s not just focusing on your own pain, it’s also fueling others pain to grow as well. Often we argue with the ones we love the most and instead of allowing yourself to fall into a cycle of self loathing, self destruction, self gratification, allow yourself to see the error in your own way, and others will see the difference. We cannot change others, but by our own actions we may influence by allowing the Holy Spirit to guide us, to work through us and affect those around us. Anger is contagious, hatred is contagious, but so is love, so is kindness. It’s much harder to love and overcome things that make us upset or the things that hurt us, but we cannot be the judges of that. We cannot be judge, jury, and executioner because we aren’t qualified to do that. All we can do is love, pray, and be a positive influence on those around us. No one wants to be around the Big Green Guy all the time. They want to be around Bruce Banner instead, the mild mannered scientist whose got a good heart. Be the person with the good heart that everyone can see. Don’t let the disease spread through you and your life, learn to let it go. Forgive and Love. Those are the keys to living a happy life.

 

 

 

The Smallest Gestures

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The Smallest Gestures

Walking through the mall minding my own business I was aware of my surroundings. I could see the looks on people’s faces to get to where they had to go, to shop their little hearts out. Christmas was coming and everyone was focused on the task at had. Me on the other hand I was focused on making sure they stayed safe. I was hyper stimulated to remain vigilant. Nothing was going to happen in my mall as long as I had a say in it. I could see the child in front of me as I walked up on the family. The mother smiled as I approached. Her child stepped out in front of me and put her arms wide open. I knelt down and allowed her to hug me. “Thank you for keeping us safe.” The little girl said. I hugged her back and said it was my pleasure. I told her Merry Christmas. I looked up at the mother who said thank you. She grabbed the little girls hand and went along their way. I carried on my day, a little brighter then I had before. A small gesture of kindness from a small person reminded me you don’t have to be big or do big things to make an impact.

The small gestures or acts of kindness are fleeting from our society, or at least that’s the way it looks from this bloggers perspective. If you hold the door for someone, how many people will thank you for it? Now this is a tough test because some cities have a more hospitable nature then others. The other day I was at church. I was standing there during the invitation (it’s a Baptist church) and as I looked up my best friend and associate pastor was walking towards me. He put his arm around me and began to pray for me. At first I didn’t question it I just listened to his prayer for me. This was highly unusual, but the thought and sentiment behind it nearly took my breath away. I was trying to hold back tears. What a wonderful sign of affection. Husbands that bring home flowers, or the wife that make breakfast in bed. The notes that loved ones share in each other’s lunch boxes, all these things are the smallest gestures that can go a long way.

These days as there is so much hate in the world, now after two terrorist attacks in the UK in these many weeks, Love it seems is more important than ever. Luke 12:7 “Why, even the hairs on your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” When you think about this verse and find that the author is saying one single hair on your head is so valuable it’s worth more then several birds. If God finds our presence that valuable then so shall it be. If the big things we do in the name of Christ is that important imagine that all of the smallest acts of kindness and love are also important. A smile, a hug, a phone call, or even just a message to tell a friend you are thinking of them and care. These small things can mean the world to someone in need. Believe that if everyone was so busy with their life to do these small things very little would actually get done. “The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.” Oscar Wilde The slightest gesture of love may go a long way to provide hope that otherwise wasn’t there. We don’t need to wear capes to be a hero. We don’t have to fight off an entire army, or cure a rampant plague, in the words of Christopher Reeve, “I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” Every day we are able to look beyond ourselves. Every day that we think to lift up those around us by even the smallest acts of kindness we could be a hero to them. What may seem small to us may be huge to them. We can’t judge what is going on inside of someone else. Asking to pray for someone in time of need, giving a firm hug, or even just a text to say hello may be enough. “One thing I’ve learnt about humans: you can’t judge their strengths by the size of their actions, but by the devotion of an act, no matter how small.” Dianna Hardy

 Last year I was in the hospital for a few weeks. Just a couple days after getting admitted I woke to someone coming in and telling me I had visitors. I expected it to be someone from the church but the truth was 10 of my friends, brothers and sisters, colleagues from the military from all over the country where standing around my bed side. The overwhelming feelings of joy, sadness, shame, guilt, but above all hope, kept coming and coming. I was loved and I was being shown it. I was being shown how my friends thought of me, and what they would do to make sure I was okay. My faith and hope in people was renewed that day. I was lifted up and shown the goodness that can still be in others. Since then I have found the smallest of gestures make a big impact on me. Those impacts resonate now at a much higher level then they used to. There are two quotes that I’m reminded of. “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, and honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia. The last is “There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” Edith Wharton.

It’s not hard to let someone cut in, in traffic. It’s not hard to hold the elevator or the door. It’s not hard to tell someone they look nice. It doesn’t take much time to send an uplifting text to a friend you haven’t heard from in a while. In this day in time we have so many ways to communicate, and do nice things why do we let slip the opportunities to show Gods grace to all. 1 John 3:18 “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”

In the Bible there are countless stories about small random acts of kindness that led to huge events. Rebekah watered a strangers camel’s and ended up being the mother of Jacob entering the lineage of Christ. Ester’s kindness to the King, which ended up playing a roll in saving her people, and David’s act of taking his brothers food to the front lines, this is where he fights Goliath. These small things, almost insignificant at first glance wouldn’t have made most people stop and think, but put them in the right place to make huge impacts on the lives of those around them. What little things can you do day to day that can make drastic change? You certainly won’t know until you start, and let history decide the rest.

The End of The Road

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The End of The Road

I recently found myself in a tough spot, to try and make it in the house I’m living in which is my house, or move out, let it sit empty while on the market, hope it sells quick, and in the mean time find any place I can to lay my head at night. I suppose the house is the last remnant of my old life, the last vestige of a life that fell to ruin. As I packed the house I found myself feeling intense emotions. I felt hurt, and broken, I felt anger, and sorrow. How could this have happened, and more importantly how did it happen to me twice? I suppose I’ll never get a reason for all of this. I suppose the reason is only for a sense of closure and not really all that important. When we find ourselves at the end of a road where do we go, where do we turn? I wish I had an answer, but I truly don’t. Proverbs 14:12 “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” We always want to do things our way, walk our path the way we want to. The incontrovertible truth is we won’t get very far, except to the end of the road. Proverbs 22:3 “A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.” We may not always see the danger coming. Sometimes we are blind sided by it but those are the times we must put our faith and trust in the Lord.

When we feel as if every turn in the labyrinth we travel is one dead end after another we have to ask ourselves if we are following the road God has planned for us. Psalm 32:8 “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” God promises to help us in our walk. The question is do we trust in the Lord when we can’t always see through the fog? Do we truly follow Proverbs 3:5-6? “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” I find that many people struggle with understanding the meaning of some of the scripture used to help guide. Many people I think want to try and use scripture like Jeremiah 29:11 to show that God is responsible for evil things. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you future and a hope.” If God promises hope, and peace why do we struggle so much? It’s the big picture we are missing. It isn’t about the short-term struggles we have, it’s about the peace and joy of an everlasting life. If Christ suffered as the sacrificial lamb and he was without sin, then we sinners certainly won’t be so lucky. Our hope comes from the knowledge that our suffering in this life won’t be for nothing.

One thing we as a fallen people try to do is, when we get to the end of that road and are faced with that brick wall, we often try to dig through it, force our way through regardless of the fact that the wall was placed there as a deterrent by God. We by nature are stubborn, and we want what we want. Sadly when our road comes to an end, we have to find the new road God wants us on. That’s never an easy task, but we don’t usually get a say so in the matter. Finding yourself at the end of the road can be stressful. When we don’t know where to turn, or find ourselves facing that wall by surprise, finding a new way can be difficult. Having faith is hard, but having a strong enough faith to not let life beat you down can be even harder. When we face the end of the road we have to believe there’s a purpose for it, and a purpose for us. Psalm 23:3 “He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” Listen for the Holy Spirit and follow the path you are being guided to. Have faith and trust in the Lord. Matthew 17:20 “He (Jesus) said to them, ‘Because of yoru little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” This parable shows that a mustard seed when it starts off is small, but as it grows it does so into a huge tree. Again it’s about the journey, and the time it takes to get from point A to B, not something that happens over night. We will all face our own sets of brick walls here and there, however the disappointment can’t consume us when the wall shows up in our path. Don’t despair and don’t give up. When we truly open our eyes we see that we have the whole world in front of us.

 

Lian Yu (Purgatory)

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Lian Yu (Purgatory)

Before Christ we were trapped by sins in an eternal death. The Roman Catholics believe Purgatory is a state in between death and heaven where you expiating sin prior to entering the gates of heaven. This is the atoning for sin meaning to pay for or redeem. While the idea of there being a purgatory is highly controversial we won’t be getting into that debate. I am by no means trained well enough to go down that rabbit hole and open that can of worms. Instead, the purgatory we will discuss is the one inside our own minds, and the situations we find ourselves in. If purgatory is a form of prison it can be postulated that your own mind can be a prison. We know this because we have thoughts we often don’t want to, we remember things that bring feelings of pain of hurt. We often find ourselves in situations that bare similarities to those that we’ve been through before, almost as if history itself is being repeated. For some, being trapped in the past is the worst kind of Hades we can have. For others they get themselves into situations that are trouble over and over again. While I don’t believe this is a form of punishment while on this earthly plane of existence, I do believe that if we are repeating the same mistakes and we aren’t learning from them, then perhaps God is trying to get us to pass the test to move on. Other times we go through the same thing over and over because of our own choices, even if they are destructive.

I myself have experienced purgatory. When I returned from Iraq I found myself constantly expecting the next IED to go off, constantly scanned every place I went for insurgents trying to blend in. Every shadow there was the enemy lurking just waiting to attack. Then the thoughts came back of the war. All things considered I’d say my platoon and I were lucky. Yes we took casualties, but as many times as we were attacked the damage was superficial and rarely caused any injury. Even though that was the case, the attacks and the feelings that were left behind, where in fact imprinted and left behind for later reflection. Over time it felt as if those memories would show up and torture me at random. It felt as if I were a prisoner to them, my own personal purgatory.

In the last few years I’ve known several people who’ve gotten themselves into ruts of destructive behavior. They would claw themselves out only to get to the top of the mud hill and as soon as they got out, stand up, stretch, turn and swan dive back into the thick of it. One would guess they loved being in that destructive cycle. The truth is it’s harder then people think to break free. Once we are mentally trained for something it’s very difficult to break that cycle. There are a lot of factors that can play into it, where you live, your friends, the music you choose to listen too, even some shows you may watch. (Disclaimer: No I’m not blaming movies, or music, or video games for bad behavior. However there is enough evidence that some, i.e. a small percentage of the population are susceptible to suggestion from these outlets.) The truth is our hearts can and will be influenced by the things we surround ourselves with. Eventually it’s like ingesting small amounts of lead over time. It may not kill us right away, but eventually we will end up with lead poisoning. It’s best to avoid that stuff when we can. Find positive and influential things to fill your life with, either, friends, movies, churches, music, whatever it may be, as long as it’s going to lift up, rather then manipulate behavior in a negative way. 1 Peter 4:15-16 “15 But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men’s matters. 16 Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf.”

So all that being said, how do we avoid entering into purgatory? Well, in a religious sense don’t be habitual sinners. If you are mean and cruel to people and bad things happen to you, chances are you brought that upon yourself. By changing our focus and changing our hearts and minds, giving up and sacrificing our worldly self to Christ, we can then move forward cleansed and free of old sins. Our daily walk should prevent us from entering into man made, self-made perpetual prisons. A purgatory for your mind is harder to achieve. Sometimes we have no control over the trauma’s we endure. I have always been a firm believe of a two pronged approach therapy. The first is for your mind, to actually work on the event that caused the issue. The second is for your heart, and that’s a spiritual journey by someone in the clergy. We can’t have one without the other because we must take care of both the heart and the mind. Both will influence the other, and both have to be in a healthy place and a healthy balance. Don’t allow yourself to be held prisoners by the horrors we may face. Find your spiritual footing and allow those people in ministry to help you. Do not create your own purgatory, instead allow yourself to freely walk away leaving everything behind that held you in chains. Repent for your sins and within that repentance remember it’s not just saying you’re sorry, it’s making an action to make up for the mistake. Mark 5:4 “because he had often been bound with shackles and chains, and the chains had been torn apart by him and the shackles broken in pieces, and no one was strong enough to subdue him.” Jesus freed us from the bonds of sin, and the eternal damnation that followed for it. It takes strength and dedication to overcome the chains of the world, the lustful desires that bind us to our prisons. Fight the sin urges, flee from sinful drama, and seek Godly counsel when in need. Always has if what you are doing glorifies God, and if you don’t think it will, or wouldn’t talk to your pastors or priest about what you are thinking of doing, it’s probably not a good idea to do it.

We can’t always help what happens to us, we can’t always help the scars it leaves behind, but how we choose to handle each of those situations, where we choose to get help for them will be the defining factor as to our eternal future. If life gets hard and you choose to turn to the bottle chances are that bottle will become your purgatory. If you choose to turn to the counsel of God, you’ll undoubtedly have better luck. Don’t create your own prisons, and don’t go searching for purgatory.