God Provides

God Provides

Have you ever noticed how when you are faithful God provides exactly what you need when you need it? You may not have extra, but the need is provided.

I can’t help but feel a sense of gratitude towards God and all my friends who’ve helped me through this tempestuous time. As the time has gone on I began to question if the storm would ever subside. Galatians 6:9 “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” If I am not mistaken this verse tells us to continue to try and even when things are going well and we’ve poured our time and effort into the good and bad times, to not grow weary.

When times continue and our desires, the things we wish the most are not given to us it’s hard to be patient. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Being patient is hard for us little humans. Finding inner peace is not easy. I’ve spent the last 8 months searching for peace, and every time I think I’ve found it, every time I think I have made progress I stumble and fall backwards again. I try to follow John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

 The truth is I am afraid. I’m afraid I am not good enough for someone to make them happy. I am afraid I am meant for nothing more then a basic security officer never destined to amount to any kind of greatness. I have spent a lifetime judging my own success on what others think of me, my success within my relationships, and my career. In the last 8 months I have lost every bit of what I judged my own success, my own self worth. My biggest problem has always been my fear of being alone. I still fear being alone, and I still fear failing.

I know that God will provide what I need when it’s time, and I have faith that God will not want me to be alone forever, just for the time being. The hardest thing to do is to have faith especially when you’re hurting. As faithful when the sun rises, and the sun setting, knowing the world will still turn, and life will continue to move on, we must believe that the God of all things will not fail us. Surviving the desert was a miracle under the circumstances. While there however I saw some of the most beautiful sunsets and sun rises. It always reminded me that God was always there and in control.

Sword forged in fire

Sword forged in fire

When a sword is made in the traditional sense it is placed in fire, pounded, shaped, heated, cooled, pounded on more. It’s no surprise that scripture teaches us how our faith is tempered. Just as the sword it placed in fire and pounded, our faith is also tested in a similar fashion. James 1:2-4 “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” When life is hard, when spiritual warfare is well underway, those of faith are tested on the spiritual battlefield. We don’t always know why bad things happen, we don’t always know why our lives can go from what seems like long stretches of happiness to spin out of control to chaos. Isaiah 48:10 “Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” When King David was a young boy he made a name for himself by killing Goliath with nothing but a sling. David would spend the next 20 years running for his life, fighting for it, his faith being tested over and over. Just as David would have to trust in God, believe God’s intentions would always be in the promise that was made to David to be King. The number of times the testing of faith is mentioned in scripture is many. Deuteronomy 8:2-5 “You shall remember all the way which the LORD your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. “He humbled you and let you be hungry, and fed you with manna which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that He might make you understand that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of the LORD. “Your clothing did not wear out on you, nor did your foot swell these forty years.” It’s easy to say you have faith when life is love and roses. When you’re all alone and it seems like tomorrow will never come. When life has you at your lowest, when depression and pain is all you feel, that’s when your faith, when God will peer into your heart and see what’s truly there. 2 Corinthians 11 Paul describes being beaten, shipwrecked, threatened, on the run from those who meant to kill him, and yet while Paul was facing execution during his imprisonment he wrote some of the most influential letters in the Bible. His faith was tested to the max. Job lost everything he held most dear and he survived knowing that God loved him. Gods grace, mercy, and love are all some people have. Through the fire we are forged. Never forget no matter how bad it seems, through the Lord all things are possible and all wounds can be healed. Learn to trust in the Lord and let go of the pain and hate that fill your heart.