Tag: Flame

Circle the Flame

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Circle the flame

Sometimes we get caught in our own prisons. We are drawn to the pain when that’s all we know anymore. We circle it like a moth to a flam. Unable to pull away but we either need to pull back or we get burnt.

When we spend so much time in struggles sometimes the struggle is all we know. I’ve seen it in soldiers who go back over and over again to war. The old phrase goes a war junkie. Sadly that expression isn’t far from the truth. It’s not war you fall in love with, it’s the feeling of purpose, it’s the feeling of being needed, and it’s the adrenalin high you get during your missions you eventually get addicted too. Many soldiers when they return find themselves idle and unsure of what to do with themselves. They feel like something is missing in their life and they seek the excitement of their lives, the brotherhood that’s now long gone. Many people find themselves getting into extreme sports when they return. Sports like speed racing, skydiving, bunji jumping, rock climbing, anything they can find to get that euphoria that adrenalin makes you feel.

There’s also a sense of belonging that subsides when you are away from your brothers and sisters. A connection with people that once you are out of the military is surprisingly hard to come by. As for myself, I’ve searched for many years now to find a new group of friends to replace the military family I once had, and instead all I’ve received is isolation. Making new friends isn’t easy anymore. Finding common ground with people isn’t easy, and sometimes it takes a long while to build a connection.

There’s a line from my favorite show Arrow “Sooner or later, we all go through a crucible. I’m guessing yours was that island. Most believe there are two types of people who go into a crucible. The ones who become stronger from the experience and survive it, and the ones who die. But there’s a third type. The ones who learn to love the fire and choose to stay in their crucible because it’s easier to embrace the pain when it’s all you know anymore.” (Sabastian Blood) I myself have always found it hard to relate to others after my time in the service. Though the missions were hell, and there were days I hated life, it seemed strange to return to life when I no longer recognized that life.

We in the military spend so much time training to be someone else, something else, but when it comes time to returning to civilian life it’s only a matter of days from soldier to civilian. Learning how to be a civilian again for some happens quickly, for others never at all. Sadly for many veterans the return to civilian life is so traumatic it eventually ends with suicide. Christmas time is hard on veterans. So many are suffering with loss, with PTSD, with homelessness, and while many of us are enjoying our morning of trees, music, gifts, and warmth, many veterans are just trying to find their one meal for the day and a warm place to lay their head. A matter of perspective to know that while we should enjoy our time away from the fire, there are some who are still in the flames.

We cannot circle the flames forever. At some point we need to break free and move forward. We don’t want to get caught in the burning flames so we need to find a way out. We cannot stay in the crucible forever and we need to learn to focus ourselves better. God expects us to fight the fight, and also expects us to love and give. As man it’s hard to juggle sometimes, so we must turn to the words God left for us to find our course. Romans 13:4 “For he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer.” We must fight when we must fight, but when it’s time for peace we must learn to also be the peacemaker. We must love all the time, and be just. When we find ourselves focusing on what God wants us to do, we will find we can be far more adaptable. Listen to the voice of truth and find your path.

If you’re a veteran and your circling the fire and you cant seem to break free, find help. Don’t try to do it alone. It’s a dangerous game staying in your crucible forever; instead find your escape back into life. Let yourself live, and let yourself love again. There is life after war, there is life after tragedy. For families who’ve lost their loved ones, for wives who’ve lost their husbands, for kids who’ve lost their parents, life will move on. Don’t let the tragedies you’ve suffered been in vain, instead use it to help others, find a way to share your story, and inspire others to persevere and move forward. Tomorrow will come if we are ready or not. Embrace it, and never forget tomorrow God’s still on the throne.

 

Don’t Let The Flame Go Out

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Don’t Let The Flame Go Out

Lately I’ve felt beaten down, tortured by my own doubts, my own insecurities, my own past and of all that I have felt as if that little spark of hope, that little light that resounded left in my heart was going out. The constant struggles of solitude in both work and home, the constant reminder of failures swirling round in head. The emptiness of a house that once had laughter, smiles, and love, yet now with it just the dogs and me the silence is pounding in my heart and in my head. What has happened to me in the last couple weeks I ask myself? As I look to my future I see a big move out of state, a 7 week gap before I end up to my new home, which I don’t have, a new job, which has barely been discussed, a hope and prayer are the fuel that powers this mission. So as I sleep at night and my dreams are nightmares, the wind howls and trees knocking around outside, the broken limbs fall to the deck waking the dogs, which in turn wakes me and this goes on all night long. The lyrics “I’ve been a walking heartache” By Dave Barnes plays in the distance. The fire inside me feels like it’s being drowned by the tears of my sorrows, and the pain in my chest suffocating the flame that’s been able to withstand so much till now. The days of doubt have finally caught up to me, and the bit of hope I once had for my future seemed like it was all but gone. Any hope I had to reignite the flame seemed to be washed out by the storm that just wouldn’t go away. The part of me that felt no hope was growing in strength spreading like a dark shadow deep within. When the world is unrelenting what hope do we have to stand toe to toe with the prizefighter that’s been doing this a lot longer than we have.

Hard Love

Hold on tight a little longer
What don’t kill ya, makes ya stronger
Get back up, ’cause it’s a hard love
You can’t change without a fallout
It’s gon’ hurt, but don’t you slow down
Get back up, ’cause it’s a hard love

When the wolves come and hunt me down
I will face them all and stand my ground
‘Cause there’s a fire burnin’ in me
They will see my strength in this love I found

The Apostil Paul was sitting in a Roman jail awaiting his execution. By this point Paul had experienced a great many hardships. 2nd Corinthians 11:24-28: “24 Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. 25 Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; 26 In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; 27 In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. 28 Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches.” Paul had experienced a great many hardships, but even where he was sitting he managed to write about hope and love. Where do we look for inspiration when we have fallen and would rather stay down on the mat instead of getting back up to endure more of the beating? When we just can’t find the strength to stand what do we do? Matthew 27:32 “32 As they went out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name. They compelled this man to carry his cross” My take away from this is in our greatest times of struggles, in our deepest of sorrows we are meant to get help. Even Christ showed us it’s okay to ask or receive help. We must let go of our sinful pride and ask for Godly help. We are meant to turn to the Lord, but also our fellow Christians. We are meant to put our sorrows out there to let our Brothers and Sisters in Christ help us bare our own crosses. When asking for help however we must be careful to avoid asking the wickedness of man for help. Isaiah 8:19 “And when they shall say unto you, Seek unto them that have familiar spirits, and unto wizards that peep, and that mutter: should not a people seek unto their God? for the living to the dead?” When we seek ungodly counsel we will be led astray. We will be guided to directions that would further lead us into more sin, and a deeper divide between the Lord and us. As a body of Christ we are commanded to Love our Neighbors as ourselves. Meaning we are all in this together. When we harm our neighbor, we harm ourselves. For every action there are repercussions both good and bad equal to the action dependent on the side you act upon. In Galatians 6:2 the words jump off the page. It’s not saying you could, or you can, or maybe, it’s saying, “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” This means you are meant to help your neighbor when they are troubled. We are meant to lay our troubles at the feet of Christ, we are meant to lay our troubles at the feet of our Christian Brothers and Sisters, and they in turn are supposed to be there for us.

When we don’t know where to turn, when we feel as if we can’t take another step, when we feel the blow to our bodies one after another, we are actually struggling with the lies of the world. Satan will throw everything at you He can to break you. Satan wants you to fall and not get back up. Satan wants you to believe the lies he tells, and wants you to be crushed under the weight of burden.

Casting Crowns

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. “Boy, you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win!”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
The voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

 As the Apostle Peter was called to step out of the boat in the storm, he began to sink and Christ replied “Ye of little faith” We must remember that as long as Christ is with us we will never truly sink. The voice of truth tells us to never be afraid for as long as God is for you, who than can be against you. The Apostle Paul wrote Timothy from inside a Roman prison awaiting execution. 2 Timothy 4:5-8 “5 But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry.6 For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand.7 I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:8 Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.” As Paul writes he knows he’s about to die. He’s telling Timothy to remain strong when the time comes those false doctrines and their own lusts and other manner of sinful nature will take over. In that time stand firm in the teaching and be ready to suffer the consequences for not turning away from the truth. When all hope seems to be lost remember that keeping the course is it’s own reward. Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness. This is the promise of ever lasting peace in Heaven, a gift from God that ALL may have the joy of receiving if only love the Lord.

When you are down and you feel that you can’t get that spark to light, seek shelter under the protection of Christ’s umbrella. Allow Christ to warm you by the fire. Allow God to comfort your wounds, your weary souls. Psalm 23 “23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.” Know that there is comfort in the Holy Spirit, and that comfort is for you if you ask for it.

SideWalkProphets

If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it

I’m giving You fear and You give faith
I giving you doubt
You give me grace
For every step I’ve never been alone

Even when it hurts, You’ll have Your way
Even in the valley I will say
With every breath
You’ve never let me go

 (Prayer) Whatever your will my Lord help me find it. Whatever ales my heart help heal me. Whatever weighs me down help cut it away. God please rest my soul. When we don’t see what’s coming and we hurt and we have pain and sorrow, remind me I’m not alone. Lord be with me and watch over me as I wrestle with my trials, my tribulations, my heartbreak. Lord remind me I’m not alone and I can count on YOU, and place in my path those that can help me bare this burden. Please allow me to continue to help others bare their crosses and allow my home to be rebuilt, better than it was before. God I know I’m not alone, and I know that in all things you are in control, and in You all things are possible. AMEN…

 

 

 

 

 

Kobayashi Maru

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Kobayashi Maru

The Kobayashi Maru is a training program for cadets in the Star Trek Universe during the time of Kirk, Spock, and McCoy. The exercise in the words of Spock “The purpose is to experience fear, fear in the face of certain death, to accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself and one’s crew. This is the quality expected in every Starfleet captain.” The test at the heart is a no win scenario. The program adapts to every action and counter action leaving their no hope to save the ship, or your own. Thankfully when it comes to our souls we don’t have to worry about that, our eternal souls are safe and sound, as long as we play nice with others, and play by the rules.

Once we were a lost people, scattered, wandering aimlessly through life. Waiting for the day we would be free and united. This is of course what the people felt about 2000 years ago. When Jesus comes into the picture the people of the world couldn’t and didn’t understand the true nature of His presence, or power. Being a cleansed, innocent, sacrificial lamb He took the place of our sins and freed us from our eternal chains of bondage. I hear it all the time people say, “I just can’t win.” But the truth is, we already have. We’ve been given by the Grace of God the power to overcome those chains and we can if we choose rise up and be with our Father when the time is right. The problems we face are that of the world, but the world cannot take what has been given to us freely, not that we’ve earned it, nor do we deserve it.

As I was watching the season finale of Arrow (Spoiler Alert) Oliver decides not to kill Adrian Chase. He decided not to be a killer and find a better way. Earlier in the seasons Oliver would kill when he felt it was absolutely necessary and would deal with the consequences. By the end of Season 5 that notion was starting to go away and we see him start to change. Even when it seemed the Green Arrow was in a no win situation after working the problem he found another way.

Life sometimes feels like a never-ending battle to just stay afloat. We often say we had no other choice, and the truth is that’s probably not true. There are probably other options just ones we haven’t thought about.

 Luke 20:22-23 “Is it lawful for us to give tribute to Caesar, or not?” 23 But he perceived their craftiness, and said to them,” This the chief priests believed to be the answer to their prayers, finally a way to trap Jesus in his own version of the Kobayashi Maru. If Jesus says simply yes, the Jewish people who resent being under Roman law could turn on him. If Jesus says No the governor would be notified, and he would be accused of sedition and rebellion. Instead of answering the way the priests thought he would, Jesus answered in a way that beat their no win scenario they cleverly crafted. Luke 20:24-25 “Show me a denarius.[b] Whose likeness and inscription does it have?” They said, “Caesar’s.” 25 He said to them, “Then render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” The crowds were in aww hearing Jesus actually admit to give to Caesars what was his. This won both sides of the fence, all except the high priests of course.

You can’t always be politically correct in today’s world. Sometime in the future you will say something that will offend someone else. It doesn’t matter how careful you are, or how Godly you perceive yourself to be, the nature of being a Christian is enough to offend some. The point is to not walk on eggshells every day, it’s to make sure you are loving one another, and being there to help others, not to drag down. “Some men just like to watch the world burn.” Alfred This being the case all we can do is make sure we are living in the waters of Christ and have faith that our path be made clear by the Lord. You may be placed in horrible positions of choice in your lives, but the key to success is to think about what God would have you do in each tough situation. Since we never walk alone there’s always another way.

Just as Cadet Kirk reprogrammed the test to make it winnable, Christ changed the rules to explain his viewpoint on the priests so called laws. By the nature of Christ’s death the rules were changed. Paying the bill for us so we could get into the long awaited club of heaven we now have the golden ticket, the washing of our sins and the everlasting love that so long as we follow Christ whole-heartedly we too shall enter the eternal paradise.

In our walk with Christ we will be put to the test, we may walk through the fire, we may have to endure many hardships, but remember when you follow Christ the old self dies. The stripping away of everything you’re not and leaving behind what you truly are. Have faith in that walk, and have faith that whatever you may be going through there’s a reason. Believe in those reasons and embrace them, think of them as a puzzle and an adventure to solve and make it through. As a man I love swords, I love a great many things about swords, but I realize to truly make a sword it needs to be heated, pounded, cooled, and repeating that process over and over the sword begins to take shape. Today’s test forge us for tomorrows battles.