Fears – The Arrow Preacher

Who Are You Today?

I was thinking about the story of the Potter and the Clay. I was also thinking about the enemy and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I know that all of us are facing challenges in this life, this new normal of being forced to lock down in our homes. I know that all of us are trying to find ways to deal with the isolation, the lack of finances, the lack of church, the lack of work, and the lack of anything else you can think of. I have been wondering, myself included who am I today? Are we falling apart in these troubled times? Are we bonding together to be stronger? Are we becoming someone the enemy fears, or are we becoming someone the enemy cheers? If we are truly clay, who are we allowing to shape us? I know that a tool like any other in the wrong hands can be used as a weapon. As Bruce Wayne once said “One man’s tool is another man’s weapon” (Dark Knight Rises).

I have often wondered why so many bad things happened to me as a child. I wondered why so many awful and hurtful things happened to me as an adult. I realized some of those things where of my own doing even in a passive sense. In many those things I blamed God for my troubles, not always for causing them, but allowing them to happen. I have faced challenges, and even when I haven’t gotten them right, I’ve realized that for every challenge faced there is an opportunity. That being said, “God only knows the real you.” (God Only Knows, by for King and Country). Since we all have a face that we hide away, the potter is the one that knows us best. That being said, we can be shaped by one of two potters. We can be shaped by Satan, or Jesus.

We are all facing things we never thought would happen, or things we could never think to prepare for. Our behavior shows who we are and what kind of person we’ve become. In these days are you behaving in a way that would make the enemy fearful? We cannot see what’s in someone’s heart, but we can make an educated guess based on a person action. It’s said in the Christian walk a person’s witness is so important because we outwardly represent Christ. A persons walk shouldn’t be impacted by the sins and mistakes of a person, but sadly that’s not the world we live in. People believe that those who follow a religion are a representation of that religion.

IF I were a drunk, an abusive man, cruel, and yet on Sunday I’m in church sitting the pew and praying the prayers, am I a good representation of Christ? No, of course not. If someone saw me they would have a negative thought of Christianity. With so much idol time on people’s hands, and with social media being all the buzz, it’s more important than ever to watch what we say, watch what we do, and check ourselves and our actions. IS what we are doing bringing Glory to the Father, or are we making things easier for Satan and his army? We have a choice to change how we act, how we talk, what we post, how we deal with people, and even the support we show one another.

Life has thrown us all challenges, and while we are struggling with our own problems, we must remember that first; We are not alone in this walk. Jesus is with us every step of the way. Second, we are called to be there for one another baring one another’s burdens. We are also told that we are responsible for ourselves and our own actions.

Galatians 6:7-10 “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. 8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. 10 So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.”

We have a responsibility to our homes, and our brothers and sisters. We have a responsibility to own up to our mistakes and in doing so, we face who we are. In the last several weeks I’ve seen a lot of selfish response to the crisis gripping our world. I’ve seen a lot of decisions made based on fear and ignorance, We all need to take a step back, relax, and evaluate how to manage our struggles. We’re all in this together and we need to encourage and lift one another. WE all have an opportunity to grow, and we should spend more time loving on one another, and of course most important, growing in Christ.

Today, if I’m honest I’m hurting. The days are long and run together. The struggle to see what I see and manage the impending challenges is a mountain and a half. I have found myself spending the day listening to Christian music, and praying to take this thorn from my life. I know that in all things I must find contentment, Philippians 4:11 (NKJV) “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:” I have been praying to the Lord to let me say the word and have the mountain jump from my path. I am not a foolish man, but regardless that I know the truth and that this is a mountain I must walk, I still tell my Father my hearts desires. The heartbreak I feel, and the impending storm brews in the distance, I can hear the thunder, and as Kylo Ren says “I know what I must do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it” (Star Wars). Will I have the strength to get through this? I have prayed to God to continue to give me the strength, to renew my strength, to build upon my faith and increase both. Today I feel like I’m weak and I know that I’m not, but the spiritual attacks are heavy. I know that Jesus is my chain breaker, my way maker, and I know that Jesus has set me free of the chains that held me, and I know that Father above hears me, hears my cries, hears my heart cracking, and I know that I will not be alone in this fight, but rather I know I will have Christ by my side. I know there’s a crack in my armor, but I know as the flaming arrows are landing all around me Christ stands next to me guarding me with his Shield. I will make it through this, and I know when I do, it’ll be by the grace and mercy of Jesus, not of my own doing. On bended knee, I lift my prayers to the King of Kings, the Great Healer, The Chain Breaker, The Savior, The Right Hand of the Father, Jesus Christ.

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I’m Afraid

I’m afraid of what tomorrow will bring. I’m afraid of my failures, and I’m afraid of my future. I’m afraid I will not be loved again, and that I will not obtain my desires of a family. I’m afraid I will fail in my goal to finish college. I’m afraid of being alone, and never getting out on my own. The failures in my past ring loudly in my ears. My wheels spinning in the mud, unable to get traction I feel stuck. I feel as if I’ve become paralyzed by the fear in my life. I feel my failures mounting higher and higher and I feel as if I’ve lost so much and I’ve fallen so far, I often question if I can ever get back what I’ve lost. More then getting back what I lost, I question if I deserve to get back what I’ve lost.

Fear is a normal, it often protects us from harm, but fear can also be used as a weapon. I don’t feel like I am good enough most days. I am trapped in my memories of what I’ve lost. I’m trapped and I know fear is holding me back robbing me of my tomorrow. Tomorrow seams so far and in my mind it’s a monster, filled with rows of teeth, claws and a bark that shakes my very core. Can I go through that kind of pain again? Can I open myself up and take a chance like that again? With the fear flooding my emotions, I feel paralyzed most days. I want to stay in the house, I want to run and hide away from the world ashamed of my very public failure. How can anyone ever love me after the last two years? The truth will set you free, if you only choose to believe in it. The world is a cruel and sometimes unforgiving place. The whole of our society is determined to beat you to the ground. Fear as I mentioned can be a good thing, but when you’re afraid like that, it’s the Devil trying to keep you down. When you feel the fear building, Psalms 34:4 “I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Fear is a weapon of the Devil to keep you subdued, to keep you from the grace of the father. Proverbs 29:25 “The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.”

Though I am afraid I must not let fear control me. I must continue to fight the Devil and not fall to his flaming arrows. I must fight back and harden my mind against his attacks. The fear I have stays with me, but I fight the good fight every day. Psalm 23 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

Fear has often been a challenge for me. Ever since I was young I always felt as if I wasn’t good enough. That my physical looks weren’t good enough for people. The bullying I faced as a child was ruthless and left me damaged. The losses as an adult amplified those feelings of inadequacy and I have been an easy target for the Devil. My faith has kept strong, and as I continue to move forward, I often hear the whispers from the darkness calling my name. I was shattered, a thousand pieces, broken down and bleeding on the floor. I’ve been gluing the pieces back together, but the heart still hurts.

When I close my eyes I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I find myself thinking of the songs that have touched my heart. The healing power of music, it fills my heart and reminds me of the Lord and savior who’s always with me. I pray to God to take away my pain, who gives me my joy, and protects me when I cry. The storm comes to everyone, no matter who you are. All we can do is trust in the Lord to see us through. We are held by a Savior, and we have to have faith in our foundation that can’t be shaken. We can all thank God that our yesterday’s gone, and looking forward to tomorrow, we don’t have to go backwards. Praise God in the storm, and know that wherever you were yesterday, tomorrow is a choice. When we are broken down, when we are shattered on the floor, let the healing hand of God put us back together. Put your prayers to work, and put your boots on the floor and start walking. We’ve been washed by the blood and we are made new, we can stand up and watch the fear be washed away. 2 Corinthians 7:1 “Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.” If we try to walk this world alone, and we find our self tired of being solo, it’s time to put our faith in God and trust that God’s in control not the Devil. If we remember who’s on the throne and remember that nothing that happens to us in this world can take our salvation from us the rest is just fluff.

Our own fears although they may be very real, are something for us to control and concur. Fear as I said can be a great tool to warn us of danger, to keep us pushing forward when we need to. We can’t allow fear to run our life. We must stand tall on God’s word and fight the fear that floods our hearts. While I fight my own fear, and my own negative judgments of myself, I know the journey isn’t one to be finished overnight. I know that the road is long, and it’s hard. Colossians 1:11-12 “11 being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, 12 and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.” In the darkest of nights, the fiercest of storms, when it seems like you’ll never see the dawn of another day, just when you think you can’t take another step, the Lord will pick you up and keep you safe. Trust in the Lord and remember, you’re child of the one true King. You’re special in the eyes of the one who created you, and you will inherit the kingdom of Heaven. We have already defeated death, all we have to do is live.