Tag: family

Life in the Fast Lane

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Life in the Fast Lane

As Americans we devote almost every minute of our day focusing on trivial pursuits. We are busy so much in our day we often wish for more time, just to do more. The problem with more time is we never use the time we are given wisely. We squander it in our own pursuits, but not in ways that would be pleasing to God. We may not be a bad person, but are we really doing Gods work? Proverbs 21:5 “5 The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenteousness; but of every one that is hasty only to want.” When we rush through life and we react from one day to the next it’s easy to get swept up and carried away with the world. Do we take the time to have silent reflection? Do we take the time to talk to God through prayers? Do we hastily make decisions without putting thought to them? Do we make those decisions based on feelings or are those decisions based on what would be pleasing to God?

The world tells us all of the feel good things that we should try, or experience. The world expects us to always be full throttle, from dawn till dusk work, push yourself to the limit, sleep and get up and do it again. If we are running around so much where are the moments of clarity, where are the moments of peace, where is the time for prayer? Ecclesiastes 3:1-14 “3 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. 9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth? 10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it. 11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. 12 I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life. 13 And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God. 14 I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him.” I firmly believe that working hard is a Christian’s duty. I also believe however that working hard and enjoying the fruits of that labor is important. God wants us to enjoy our lives. We only get one of them. We need to make a difference with the time we have. There is a time for everything and we must be able to know the difference.

Americans it seems have a hard time taking the time to slow down. Do parents slow down and spend the quality time with their children? Do married couples take the time to truly love one another? Do we take the time to speak to our friends when they are in need? When we are so busy in our lives we forget the common decencies we have failed. Do we get so busy in our lives we can’t respond, take 10 seconds to send a text to let them know we are busy and that we will get back to them. We don’t return calls, we don’t send letters, we don’t do the smallest simplest things the let someone know we care.

Some people on the flip side of the coin do pay attention. Some people make the time to make sure their closest friends and loved ones are taken care of. Some people are so generous it’s unbelievable. Some people even as busy as there life is, they take the time to love and be generous, and live life, live a Godly life.

For me, from an early age I found it easy to take time for others. Sadly I failed in other areas. I’ve had more then enough life altering events. The day our life ends we forever loose the ability to make things right. What happens if the day it ends is also the same day it begins? If you were given a second chance to change the way you live your life, would you? How quickly do we forget what’s important in this one life we get? If we woke up one morning and found out someone we neglected wasn’t there anymore would you feel you did everything you could for that person, be there, talk to, signs of caring? Sadly in life we often miss out on the small opportunities we have to make a difference. It’s not just the big things that matter; it’s the same things also. Everyday we have the chance to reinvent ourselves, to be a better person then we were the day before, if only we realized and respected how short of a time we have, or how short of a time our loved ones have. Do not take the gifts we are given for granted. Do not underestimate the time we have. Be a joy in someone’s life. Love your life and love your friends and family. Don’t take them for granted.

Take your life out of the fast lane and slow down. See the beauty in the world around you. See the trees, the grass, the flowers, the animals, and the wonderful creation God has made for us. It only takes a few moments a day to make a difference. How will you make a difference today?

Slow down and listen.

Heartbreak

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Heartbreak

The word isn’t one to get tossed around lightly. I believe there are different kinds of pain associated with loss, and even that loss has different levels. When we loose a loved one, family, we feel the sinking hole left in their absence. What happens when the loved one is a spouse? This type of loss can be the most painful. There’s a difference in pain from where they die, and lost by personal choice. That is a different kind of pain entirely.

When you find yourself in deep love with someone, and you believe in your heart that love is by definition 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.” The only source of truth that’s suitable is this. Love is a tricky thing. We all say we feel love, but I dare say most do not ever live up to 1 Corinth. I would say the biggest issue is that of loyalty. When the loyalty fails, the so called love one used to feel disappears, and all that’s left is the bitterness of years passed, a pesky reminder that’s more like limb or appendage being removed by force.

After 7 years and overcoming as many obstacles as any family could, it would seem that the journey to creating a family would finally be on its way when fate it seems would hold a different direction indeed. We never truly know what would happen in given situations, but rest assured, when the time comes to be tested, sometimes a bad situation a dire event can cause a chain of events that are capable of taking everything you’ve ever built to the bedrock. It’s in those moments when your character is most tested.

After one set back after another, one crushing blow following another, the heart can only break so much before rebuilding must occur. Many people deal with heartbreak in different ways. Some will recluse themselves from the world. They hide in their comfort zone for how ever long and they don’t let anyone in to help them. They want to be alone in their pain, and for some this is okay. Others bury their pain and seek comfort in others. Some seek sexual comfort in many partners, and they do this long enough till one day they find themselves out of control, or worse pregnant or an unexpected father. Some people choose substances to hide or manage their pain. Substances like prescription pills, alcohol, or elicit drugs to name a few. Other forms of addiction may form, this includes gambling, throwing themselves into sports or video games, some instances sex becomes the addiction. Regardless, these addictions, these methods of coping do nothing but hurt in the long run.

Some resort to self inflicted harm. Most women use small razors to cut themselves, the legs, arms, some place that can be easily hidden from the world. Self-harm or mutilation is an extreme coping mechanism. This also is the unhealthiest one. Men however use more violent measures, guns, different kinds of pain.

No matter the form of coping you find yourself in, no matter how far along you’ve gone down a road of self destructive behavior it’s never too late to change your life. The road to recovery especially when we are hurt intentionally over and over again can be incredibly difficult and time consuming.

There are many passages of scripture that can be found to help those in need, those who suffer from a broken heart.

Psalms 147:3 “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.”

 Psalms 73:26 “My flesh and my heart faileth: [but] God [is] the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.”

1 Corinthians 13:7 “Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

Psalms 55:22 “Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”

 Whichever course your life has gone down, whatever coping mechanism you have, however deeply you’ve been wounded know there is always help out there for you. The future though cloudy and uncertain for us all may not be what you had envisioned, but you can build any future you wish. It’s said God does not close a door unless it’s for a good reason, and with that reason a window shall be open for you instead. It’s not for us to know why sometimes, bad things happen, but instead embrace them. Today’s pain may lead to great and wonderful things tomorrow. God isn’t Santa but with prayer and showing we can handle the blessings, the many gifts God has to offer us, we may find joy once more.

The pain felt in a single message can be horribly tender to our heart. The heart can ache with an intensity we may feel is never going to go away but in reality it always heals, even if the scar is an unsightly one. The sorrow from knowing she’s at the very least on the surface happy is a tough pill to swallow. How can we expect to live a happy life when the little things remind us so much of what we’ve lost, what we had? Distance yourself from external pain sources, but remember we can rebuild, and we can build new memories. Love is a cherished emotion, but it’s not something to come around lightly. God doesn’t want us to be alone, but understand the time and place far better then we do. Love if we are not ready for it will just turn out disastrous. Love when we are susceptible for great things, will be a beautiful gift.

No matter where you are in the process, just remember we must grow we must be ready for love and believe when it’s our time we will not fail. Love is a gift, and we should not be too impatient, even if that’s all we want to do. The future may not be in focus, but the turn around the bend may be greater then you know. Have faith.

 

 

Pushing Buttons

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Pushing Buttons

Do you ever push someone’s buttons just to see where it goes? Do you ever try to get under their skin because you can? Do you ever get them aroused because you can? What about someone you aren’t close to anymore. Do you try to hurt someone out of spite? When you love someone how does that love turn to contempt? What happens to someone to create so much anger or hatred or contempt?

Ephesians 4:22 “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;”

Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

Anger breeds from sin. Anger can also come from your own dislike or hatred for yourself. Being miserable in your own life can cause you to lash out at others. James 1:20 “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”

 Proverbs 16:7 “When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.” No matter the buttons that are pressed or the anger that it may bring, conduct yourself with honor and a manner pleasing to God. Remember to love thy enemies, and take no vengeance for yourself. Romans 12:10 “Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” Loving your enemies is possibly the hardest things you will ever do. Luke 6:27 “But I say to you people who are listening to me, love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you.” Matthew 5:44 “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

 No matter the pain inflicted, as much as we can love one another, forgive like Jesus asked to have us forgiven. As we did not deserve the forgiveness of our Father we received it just the same. Never give up on love, and never give up on those who hurt us. A lifetime is a long occasion, and through God all things are possible. People can change through Christ. Have faith, and pray. All our life will be accounted for and we must answer to the Lord for everything we do, every word spoken. Be right with God for we never know when the day of judgement will arrive.

Chess Match For Our Souls

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Chess Match For Our Souls

I move my pawn, and you move your rook, a chess match of moves and counter moves. The fight for the ultimate prize is heaven. When dealing with the Devil never turn your back, never underestimate. The whiles of the Devil are cunning and smooth, the deepest desires of your soul are brought forth. Romans 12:9 “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” If we love then we should know love. Love is defined in 1 Corinthians 13 4-13 “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” When we say I love you this is what it should be. We must learn to love one another in the truest of words. When we play our game of chess the Devil will lie and deceive us. Colossians 3:13 “ bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” We as a society are cruel and sinful. When given the choice we hung an innocent man on the cross instead of Barabbas a known criminal. If Christ can forgive us for condemning him to death, and not just for that, but the entirety of our sins, we can forgive those who wrong us, and forgive those for walking the path of sin. James 5:20 “Let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.” Lastly Luke 15:4 “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it?” If we sin because we are lost, and we love the sinner, we must rebuke the sin, but not give up hope on the sinner. If we can take the pain we can make the sacrifice. Never forsake those whom you love. Humans make mistakes, never give up on love and never give up on what you know to be biblically right. IF we love we can defeat the Devil in this chess game we call life.

Who We Are?

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Who we are?

We are mothers, fathers, brothers, Sisters. We are doctors, retail, manufacturers, security professionals. We are white, Asian, African American, Hispanic. We all come from the same place, we all have a Mom and Dad. We may have fundamental differences in ideologies, but we are all residence of this place. We are all here for a short time. We are all sinners. What makes some people good and some people bad? People who claim Christ as their Lord and Savior can still do bad things. We must understand that we all fall short to the glory of God. No matter what we think, we are children of the king. Perfect in our own way. Created for a purpose. When we are burdened by life’s unfair nature where do we turn? Do we have enough self respect to know that whatever we may look like, whatever we may sound like we are perfect in Gods eyes. We are his creations. God loves us in all of our imperfections but we need to learn to embrace them. Tall or short, glasses or no, freckles or not, handicaps or not, we all all children of the King. Our souls are the most important thing about us. Stop making skin deep judgments. Look at a persons soul. Live as the person Christ would want you to. Stand up to bullies who make fun of what they don’t understand. Rise up against those who prey on the weak. Stand firm against those who would use and abuse others for their own personal gain. If you’re going to be a lion, be a lion for Jesus. We all have insecurities about ourselves. We all wish something would be different, but you are the one in a million and that’s saying something. Who you are can never be duplicated. You are a unique creation and anything that unique is special. Psalm 139:13-14 “You alone created my inner being. You knitted me together inside my mother. I will give thanks to you because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made. Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this.” Never underestimate your importance. Isaiah 64:8 “Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” Be in tune with God and let him shape you into a warrior for Christ. Psalm 119:73-74 “You made me; you created me. Now give me the sense to follow your commands. May all who fear you find in me a cause for joy, for I have put my hope in your word.” Never loose faith in yourself. Be beautiful inside and people will see the beauty shine from within.

The truth is, this is something I struggle with every day of my life. For years I was ridiculed in school, berated for the way I looked, dressed, even sounded. For years I was tortured in school by bullies. To this day I have lost two wives to affairs. The long-term affects of this heartbreak have forced me into great struggles of self worth and my own self-esteem. As I find myself questioning myself, my own self worth, scripture is my guide and my comfort. I have my faith to guide me. I have my love for Christ, but more importantly, I have love FROM Christ that I know one day my struggle will end. Never forget how important life is, and no matter what happens you are special.

On a personal note, to a friend that offered to help spread the word about this page and showed herself to  be a beautiful lady. Thank you for the kindness!