Tag: family

Jumping into the unknown

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Jumping into the unknown

 In a matter of weeks I will embark on an adventure all on my own. In the last year of my life I’ve suffered loss, and some joy along the way. While in every adventure there can be no growth without setbacks. While the journey is far from over it seems glimmers of light can now be seen at the end of a yearlong journey. The light I see at the end of the tunnel isn’t the headlamp of a fast approaching train. It’s finally come and while I know there will be future setbacks I’m prepared to face them head on.

In the last few weeks I’ve faced major opposition from the Veterans Administration and have had to point out gross negligence on their part. This battle has come at the cusp of my life finally being set on a particular track in a particular direction. This set back has minimized my ability to get my train up to full speed. Sadly while this causes undo stress, and might I point out needless stress, I will continue to try and face it with respect and dignity.

We may only get an opportunity once in a lifetime to leap. I’m not saying leap without looking, of course not, but sometime you need to take a leap of faith, and that leap may not always be with sight we understand. Sometimes we just don’t know what’s just around the bed, or just over the side of the next cliff. How can the eagles soar above the clouds if it doesn’t first take the leap? When we love we must first fall, a leap to let a part of ourselves go to allow for someone else to come in. When we love Jesus we must allow a part of our self to be burned away to make room for the light of the world. Loving another person is taking a chance. Rejection in life is always a possibility. Rejection from those whom we love is possibly the most hurtful thing we can ever endure. The fear of that rejection however, the fear of failure, cannot be the reason we don’t try. What if we allow ourselves to be ruled by our fear? What happens to our life, our happiness when we don’t allow ourselves to feel happy?

Genesis 2:18 “And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” We aren’t meant to be in this world alone. We aren’t meant to take the journey solo. We are made to be creatures that desire and need others. While some people are loners and some may desire their solitude that’s not the general idea for the human race. We often hide away after we are hurt, but we cannot live in the cave we’ve built forever. Even when we are broken hearted we must allow the Lord to rebuild us, to help us heal. Psalms 34:18 “The LORD [is] nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” When the right person comes along falling in love will be effortless, it will be like slipping into a warm bath. It will be like being wrapped in joy itself. The euphoria that comes with the act of falling in love is spectacular.

Sometimes we are forced to move, forced to change and we must be ready to embrace that change. Sometimes we must take a leap of faith and the trust comes later. I was watching the “Man of Steel” and while Clark was debating on his decision, he talked with a priest. During that conversation Clark stated he wasn’t sure if he could trust mankind. The priest replied that sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and trust later. Sometimes we must take the deep breath and dive into the deep water. We may not find our gold right away but if we continue to seek, one day we shall find.

As I have no clue what my future has in store for me, I can only hope and pray my future is brighter then the past. While I have seen glimmers of hope, and perhaps even love in my future, I proceed cautiously. I’ve seen and felt hope before only to be destroyed by it. This time around I am more cautious then I was before. This time also, I’m in a much better position. My faith is strong and when I needed proof the answers were given to me. We only need to have faith, and we too can see the truth. While we may not always get what we want, we will be given what we need. We must learn to understand the wants and the needs, and to also understand the repercussions of decisions. Many of our hardships will be a result of our own choices and thus we must remember we always reap what we sew.

Tomorrow’s answers will come when tomorrow does. Worry not about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry for itself. If we spend all our time worrying about our possible failures, or our possible rejections, if we never take that chance, or the leap we will truly never fly. You can’t live life with training wheels on your bicycle so take them off, put on your big boy pants or your big girl panties, and be ready for the world as it comes. Just remember though, a leap of faith doesn’t mean jumping without a parachute. Try to have at least some slight idea so you don’t fall to your own doom. Take the idea, and have faith that God will help guide you to work out the details. Trust in the Lord with thine whole heart and lean not unto your own understanding, but have faith in the truth and the light, and your way, your path shall be lit for you.

The Want, The Need, The Fall

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The Want, The Need, The Fall

When you are living life there are things we absolutely need, then there’s things we want. What’s the difference between the two, and why is it dangerous to pursue our wants? When we are moving along there’s things we need, food, shelter, water, and protection. We need to make money to pay the bills and make a living for ourselves. Everything else is a want in life, I want a new phone, a new computer, a new TV, whatever new gizmo, or gadget fancies our attention, the truth is we often place wants more then our needs.

I was reading the news the other day and this mother went to Europe for several days while leaving her children at home alone to fend for themselves. She left 2 12 year olds, a 6 year old and a 7 year old, while she traveled through the EU. Report said she was there sometime prior to the 21’st and not scheduled to return till Oct 1st. Now, what kind of mother does this? This is someone who has no regard for need, instead only considers the want.

What happens when a wife gets bored with her life? When she is no longer satisfied with her life and for some reason she’s compelled to seek out something more, something erotic, she’s willing to put aside every ounce of what’s right, and every shred of decency to throw it out of the window and leave it behind. Peoples wants can be healthy, or they can be destructive. The key is where the heart is and the motives behind the want. I want to make the world a better place for people so I write this blog. I want to reach as many people as I can with the word of the Lord, but as much as I’m compelled to do it, it’s not a need, even if some days it feels like I need to spread the Gospel.

When the selfishness of someone takes over and blinds us from what we should be doing we can see how the want in our life can affect the fall into pure sin. When sinful desires take over we will always be found going down the wrong path, one of destruction. Philippians 4:11-13 “Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

 The heart that cannot feel content will always want. When marriage isn’t enough and more is wanted, it’ll never be enough. The new car will never be new long but will only satisfy but a moment. The newest best and brightest is only a fleeting moment but when the neighbor gets the new, newest thing the envy and greed takes over the mind and soul.

How quickly do we forget Proverbs 14:30 “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” We will never be at peace when all we want is more. The truth to happiness is to be content. We will always have dreams and hopes, and there are always things that would be nice to have, but when that is what consumes our drive we will surly fall. Be at peace with life, learn to love it for what it is. When you are faithful to Love and faithful to God you will be blessed beyond your dreams. Sometimes it just takes patience. It takes great skill to be still in the storm.

 

 

The Tower

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The Tower

We feel powerful looking down over the world. Being high up in our tower we feel safe, disconnected from the world below. How fake we are. An illusion of safety and reassurance to let us sleep soundly at night. A king sitting on the very thrown we created, ignoring the struggles and the suffering of the peasants left upon the earth far away from you in your ivory tower. The corruption of selfishness, the fall of man is when the heart fails to self and no longer others. Galatians 6:8 “For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”

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 Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” We often allow ourselves to be the masters of our own universe and when we do that we loose sight of those around us. We forget how to be empathetic to those less fortunate then ourselves.

When we forget those around us we can often leave lives in ruins. Being selfish, and vain, we can destroy everything we held onto that was once important to us. When I think about how the tower of success can change someone, I think of the fall of King David. When David was on that roof watching Bashiba bathing, so many events started to fall like dominoes and instead of doing the right thing, he plotted and schemed, he cared little for the outcome, and it eventually turned from bad to grotesque. When you sleep with someone’s wife, get them pregnant, plot to cover it up, then plot to have them murdered, and so on, you see what living with power can do over time. If the axiom is true and “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely” then those who reign high in their corporate ladders, or in positions of power within the government, it’s easy to see how and why they forget what it was like to be the little guy at the bottom.

The sad thing is it doesn’t have to be someone in a tower to forget what’s important. When marriages fall from affairs, when family breaks over the contents of a Last will and testament, or when best friends crumble out of existence, the power we hold can have lasting and damaging consequences. How quickly we forget how powerful that little thing called a tongue can be. The fact is the self can destroy everything, it can bring upon horrible actions and with very little effort ruin lives.

Be careful for the power you wield no matter if you’re the CEO, or just someone friend, very little said or done can be devastating. Remember to remain true to kindness and love. Put a little love in your heart, and if you do make it to the top of that tower and when you’re looking down at how small everyone else seems, don’t forget the perspective. Just because we may look small at the bottom, doesn’t mean we are, and it doesn’t mean we don’t matter.

 

 

My What Big Eyes You Have

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My What Big Eyes You Have

Matthew 7:15-20 “15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. 16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 19 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. 20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.”

When I was a young boy I thought my life was normal. Then I started to open my eyes to the world around me. I looked at the families of my friends, I looked at the kids at school and I realized my life was far from average. As I got older I found I was disconnected from the world around me. The world as it was didn’t seem to accept me for who I was. The bullying started and soon it was more then just name calling and teasing it became physical. My shoes would be taken in gym and tossed around, my stuff would be knocked to the floor, I’d be pushed around when nobody was watching and no one ever came to my rescue. The day I received a swirly was one of the worst and most shameful moments of my life. I didn’t want the world to see me anymore. If all of that wasn’t bad enough, the following school year my mother was involved in a serious incident. It wasn’t long before the cat was out of the bag, and mean kids became cruel and from then on the words were that of physiological warfare….. Torture. When the school bullies learned of what happened I became the punch line and it was clear I wasn’t ever going to fit in. I drew into myself. I tried to put on a smile, but it was fake. No one knew the pain, and even the school counselors did nothing. Twice I was punished for fighting back when I was pushed or shoved into the lockers, or when someone said just the right thing knowing after 3 years how to push my buttons. Every day I thought about my life and how much I wanted the world to end. Every day I cried wishing my life would end and the pain would stop. I wasn’t normal, I wasn’t special, I was nothing in the world. The idea of life’s meaning was brought up more then once in my internal monolog. Would the world have been better without me? Since no one wanted me, I was an anomaly that there was no answer too.

I wandered through life lost, and confused about who I was. I felt the Devils claws digging into my heart and squeezing the joy from my chest as if I were some fruit trying to get juice. The thoughts in my head kept telling me, there’s a better way, better days for the winds to lift us on eagles wings and we would find better ways to look into the storm and stand tall against the Devil and his minions of death. Would moving make things better? Would a change make things better? From the ages of 10 to 16 I moved around a few times trying to find where I belonged, each time feeling as if I were betraying someone. Every time I left I struggled with my decision. A foolish sense of loyalty remained in my heart and caused doubt with each passing day. The joy would only be temporary and the guilt would set in like a sticky fog and I couldn’t outrun it.

The life I wanted would come with my final move. A school I could find myself in, friends I would grow to depend on, the occasional girlfriend, and an abundance of success. Finally for the first time in my life I found a sense of peace, a sense that the world wasn’t all out to get me. While every life has its setbacks, every heart has its heartbreak, and every day must bring forth it’s night, the truth was I was home. Three years I lived that life, and three years I found my happiness. When the day came to graduate I knew life wasn’t going to play by the rules anymore. I knew the protection we teenagers had would eventually fall away. It’s that false sense of security that’s so important to notice.

I sit alone and listen to the words of the music from my computer. We see through our eyes of perspective, but narrow and pointed. How we don’t see the truth, how we never think to walk a mile in their shoes. What would it be like to walk in someone’s shoes? Would we ever see the pain they hide behind their eyes? Would we feel what they feel? What’s it like to feel the pain of someone else? What’s it like to feel the judgments we deal out? What’s it like to be on the receiving end of our harsh words and our snap judgments? What is it like to be at the top and still feel like you’re at the bottom? When we receive our gifts in life do we look at them objectively, or do we allow our narrow field of view to blind us? Is it a gift or a curse? Are the gifts we embrace truly gifts or are they wolves in sheep’s clothing?

While in my life I’ve loved deeply, that love has come with a cost. I have lost the women in my life I was closest too. I have loved and lost more then many, but still less then others. My life has had its share of pain and suffering, but was it because of my inability to see the true nature of what I had? What may appear to be a wonderful gift from God might truly be a curse. The truth hurts and nothing hurts like the betrayal of the people we love most. Best friends will leave you, loved ones will forsake you, the words that are uttered will cut most deeply. The Devil will try to get to you using any means possible. The Devil will break through and turn your friends against you. The Devil will draw your spouse away and in that the wolves are everywhere. The Devil takes no prisoners and doesn’t care at the cost, the collateral damage left in the wake of destruction. I spent so much of my life hanging low, picking up the pieces from the ground trying to put my life back together over and over again.

The truth is however you can’t rebuild using the rubble of your life; you must first clear away the destruction to make room for the new. You must remove the old and damaged pieces and look to the future, look to the sky for the chances to rebuild stronger and better then it was before. Looking at the destruction of our lives is easy to do, but when the storm blows through and the light shines through, clear the old and make room for the new. You can’t build a house on top of the old one. You can’t let the destruction of the old get in the way of the possibilities. Furthermore, you cannot look at every gift with suspicion. You must have faith in God and the blessings bestowed upon you. As I have said in the past trust but verify. Look at the gifts and be thankful for what you have.

Even as the wolf lays in the bed waiting to gobble you up, wearing a grandma suit trying to trick you, you cannot allow for the sin of others to affect you and take away your joy. Christ died for us, his blood spilt to give us the joy of salvation. No matter what people say or do, that will never define the purpose God has for you. Believe in yourself no matter what the devil throws in your path. Life will hurt you, the Devil will beat you, and the world you love so much, the life you’ve built will crumble around you and you will be powerless to stop it. No matter the storm stand strong, stand tall. Fight back against the wolves sent to pull you down, pull you away from Christ. Fight back and don’t allow the Devil to stop you from moving forward. You can never hit a home run if you’re too afraid to swing. You cannot allow the Devil to pull you away from salvation. Believe in yourself and live your life with Love, Kindness, and Compassion for your fellow man. Trust in the word and love.

It’s hard to love after major disasters. It’s hard to have faith in tomorrow when your standing in the middle of destruction but as Christ forced the very clouds upon the water to part, the winds to vanish, and the sun to shine, your life is only a matter of time and prayer. Prayers for help, pray for guidance, and pray for strength to persevere. Love is about having faith; it’s about pushing and believing in God, believing in yourself, and trying to always see the best in the people in your life. Life can be rebuilt for as long as you draw breath there is always hope. As long as you believe the world turns, the sunrises and sets and with every day a chance to change, a chance to paint a new canvas with your own story, you can be exactly the person God knows you can be. Do you believe in life after love? When you don’t think you’re strong enough, fall to your knees and you will be blessed. We are strong enough as long as we have Christ with us and by our side. Never quit and never allow the wolf to take from you that, which is most precious, your faith in Christ.

Seasons Change

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Seasons Change

The storms will come and the destruction it brings.

The dark clouds come and the light fades out.

A season of change and alas do the clouds split?

Head down and strong shoulder through

Tonight is the night to watch the storm break.

We cannot hold on forever

We cannot live in the past.

The storm rocked the world and still standing.

Tonight fix the sight, change the focus.

Tonight I’m gonna live my life and say goodbye.

The storm must break and the new light breaths new life.

Tomorrow the sun shall rise and the past is past.

Running away from the past, towards the future.

It’s funny ain’t it, how a small thing can bring such change.

God’s funny that way, how when the sky looks so dark, the light is just moments away.

You can tell how amazing it is, how it takes your breath away.

How the light glistens in the wind.

The storm clouds leave and the air fresh and new.

The matters of the heart are wonderful and wondrous.

The sweetest truths are found when least expected.

How can I put down in words how wonderful life is.

God gave me Christ, and Christ gave me life.

How wonderful life is while you’re in the world.

Tell me it’s not too good to be true, the storm rolls away.

I wanna know it’s true, I feel the change, could I see it too?

I’ve been wrong before, but the day goes on.

I want the truth, I can handle the truth.

God I trust in you, I need to, I need to know it’s all right.

I trust in you when you say forgiveness is mine.

My God my God, I need you to help me, don’t take this from me.

If I’m wrong it’s to good to be true, but can it, and is it, I don’t know.

We never know the end, so we live for today. The end is neigh and live for now.

Love all, serve all.

 

 

 

 

Ride the Rapids

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Ride the Rapids

A river can be calm, it can be treacherous and we never know what could be lurking just around the bend. I have had the pleasure of white water rafting, canoeing, and tubing down different rivers. Each experience is as vastly different from the next, thus chancing the experience each and every time. They say you can never go down the same river twice because as time moves with the water, bits and pieces erode, and change, the depth may change, and the fish and other wild life could also change.

Life is often the same as a river, it flows, as the current of time drags us along. Some days the river moves is a nice calm peaceful pace, and others it’s wicked and dangerous, fast, and often unforgiving. Once when I was a younger lad, I was wading across a river near where my Grandfather lived. The water lever was low, but the tide was swift. As I was a little more then halfway across I was headed to a small island, the tide was strong and as long as I had my footing I could withstand the push of the water. I stepped in a large hole and as I sunk and loosing my balance I was whisked away grasping at any weed and grass, any branch I could, but I wasn’t able to stop from being swept down river. My uncle at the time swam out and saved me from being swept down river.

The following year, my cousin who was 4 years younger then me, found herself in a similar situation, but this time, I’d be the one to save her. If anything this taught me to be a strong swimmer in the current, strong because I had to be. Life is often the same as the river, it forces you to be strong and swim because if you don’t, you get swept away and you might not make it. Life can be cruel, and merciless, but as a river can be those things it can also bring great peace and joy. Laying on an inner tube and drifting down the way under the sun laughing and joking with friends, is a gift to be cherished.

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A couple years ago I went white water rafting. We spent the first 20-30 minutes learning how to take commands, and learning how to react as a team in the raft/boat. The rapids would come and it would be important to be able to navigate and manage the rapids that come. A 20 foot drop was just one of the class 5 rapids we’d face. Not much for an experienced rafter, but as we were all novices we had to work together. Isn’t life the same way? When the rapids are small we can handle life just fine, but when it gets so rough we must learn to lean on those around us and help us ride the rapids. We must learn to lean on the one that has the power to calm any storm. Jesus Christ calms the true storms, Matthew 8:23-27 “And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. And they went and woke him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?” Later in Matthew 14:28-33 “And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” 29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind,[e] he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

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 Jesus Christ is the only true way for us to make it through the rapids. We cannot do it on our own. When we try we will always get swept up in the rapids and we will always get overwhelmed. Eventually the waves will be to much, the current too strong, and if we stay in the water too long we will get tired, and the waves will overcome us. Fatigue will take over, and if not careful bring an end to life. Jesus is the only protection we have against the storm. Christ is our anchor, our shelter, and without Christ we may be able to withstand the pull of the current for a little while, but eventually, yes, we will all loose. Have faith in the word of Christ and allow that to be your life jacket. Don’t drown in the waters of life. Have faith and know that if you are not freed from the waters, know that you will be pulled through. Don’t loose sight and keep swimming, always keep swimming.

 

 

 

Guilty Conscious

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Guilty Conscious

 Jude 1:13 “They are wild waves of the sea, foaming up their shame; wandering stars, for whom blackest darkness has been reserved forever.” We live this life and we can make mistakes and sometimes we make a mistake that is difficult to come back from. The shame we feel when we have wronged someone deeply can eat us up inside. The past can be heavier then the weight of the world. Like Atlas in the legends of old holding up the edge of the sky, the weight of our decisions on our shoulders weigh us down. We allow the guilt of our decisions to poison us and over time that guilt grows, it spreads like mold and cancer in our bodies. The decease in which there is only one cure. Ecclesiastes 1:8 “All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.” We can try to right our wrongs, we can try to do all manner of works, but the truth is nothing will ever be good enough. We must learn that in all things anything worth having comes from God. We must learn to allow the Holy Spirit into our hearts, and that’s where forgiveness starts. Forgiveness is only worth anything if we do it right from the start. We must forgive ourselves, and we must learn to let go of our own shame and guilt. Second, we must ask our Father in Heaven to forgive us for our wrongdoing. Lastly we must ask forgiveness from those whom we’ve wronged.

Asking forgiveness or even admitting wrongdoing is usually the result of one major issue, vanity. Ecclesiastes 1:2 “Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.” Vanity is tough, and can be very hard to overcome. Ecclesiastes 2:23 “For all his days are full of sorrow, and his work is a vexation. Even in the night his heart does not rest. This also is vanity.” The whole problem is not letting one’s self heal from grief, and mistakes. We can’t live our happy lives if we are stuck in the past. We cannot see the happiness in front of us when we are blinded by pain.

When our pain is no longer a filter for our perspective we can actually see the true meaning behind Ecclesiastes 9:9 “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun.” While this verse states a wife, it truly goes beyond any of that, and all our blessings from the Lord are important and gifts. We must honor our gifts and not take them for granted. When we squander our gifts we shouldn’t be surprised if we don’t get them anymore. Treat every good things as a blessing, a gift from God and honor that gift.

 

 

 

 

Don’t Be Cruel

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Don’t Be Cruel

How do we treat others? How do we treat our spouses, or our friends? How do we treat our fellow neighbors? People are so easily provoked, so easily angered and brought to arguments. The world can be a cruel place with an unforgiving regiment of attacks. The pain that can be caused by our friends, or loved ones, the falling of the sky on our heads can leave you with little to no hope. When you cold, when you feel lost, when you feel helpless, when you feel hopeless and helpless, the truth is you’ve been let down. While people are fallible, to stand by and watch as someone is overcome with pain, sorrow, or grief, makes you just as responsible. In everything we do we are supposed to raise up our fellow man, our brothers and sisters in all of humanity. It’s the genuine love, the attention that we give to the hurting, the downtrodden that gives us our best hope. Jesus Christ is the one hope we have, but as Christians we are supposed to be showing the love Christ shared with us.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.” Human beings are often cruel, and unforgiving. The world is the way it is because we have failed to realize the simple nature of being kind and loving one another.

Cruelty plagues our planet and all the pain and suffering that is not sickness based is brought on by someone cruelty or malice. A lack of love, a lack of empathy, a lack of sympathy for fellow man is why we have divorce, murder, theft, and so many single parents in our society. Elvis Presley sang the song Don’t Be Cruel and in this song is the line “Baby, if I made you mad for something I might have said, Please, let’s forget the past, the future looks bright ahead, Don’t be cruel to a heart that’s true. I don’t want no other love, Baby it’s just you I’m thinking of.” Put simply he’s asking her to forgive any wrong doings and allow love to be what’s important. Forgiveness is something our society has forgotten. We stay angry over small stupid things and we make it seem like forgiveness is something that’s to be earned, not given. We as a people cannot ever do enough to earn the forgiveness of Jesus Christ, and yet, here we are a forgiven people from the most heinous crimes, and foolish acts. We will never be worthy of God’s love, and thus, someone may never be worthy of our love, or our forgiveness, but as Christ loved and forgave us, we too must learn to love and forgive those who wrong us. Love holds no score, and does not hold onto the past.

We can’t allow cruelty to remain in our hearts. If we are to be Christian we must let go of the anger we hold onto, we must learn to forgive more freely. The cost of not forgiving is too high, and those who hold onto the anger and fail to forgive are casting their own future in cement. When we ask God why we haven’t received his blessing, why we haven’t received our prayers, we must see if first we are in compliance with Mark 11:25 “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” If we fail to forgive, we won’t be forgiven. When we fail to love it breaks us down and like a wound that goes untreated it festers into anger and hatred. Loving is hard, and true love is even harder. Loving is allowing your old self to be burnt away, and what rises from the ashes is the new person you’ve become. When two people go through this burning away of your old selves, the people who rise up from the ashes are bonded in a very special way. While love isn’t easy, it’s important to have and to find. Loving others can be a challenge when they’ve done harm. Forgiveness is the key to happiness, and love is the key to life. Learn how to do these and let go of cruelty, let go of hate, and malice, and you too will learn the secret to happiness, God’s love and sacrifice for us.

 

 

 

Resistance is Futile

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Resistance is Futile

DSC_5964 The Borg, an alien species both cybernetic and organic,bent on the path to perfection assimilating species by going from one world to the next. This wasn’t done through peaceful means, more like universal destructive domination. You see the Devil isn’t to dissimilar then the Borg. While the Borg want perfection and are willing to gain it at all cost, the Devil wants total domination over all. The Borg use the tagline Resistance is Futile, meaning no amount of resisting will matter, the Borg will defeat any enemy and assimilate every race to add it’s biological and technological distinctiveness to their own. The Devil tries everything he can to draw us away from God. He tries to get the world to assimilate to his will. Like the villain Zod from superman, “Kneel before Satan” is what the Devil wants.

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As the world’s viewpoint has evolved, changed, we have become more open minded to horrible things, horrible ideals. Once upon a time it was unthinkable to divorce unless there was provocation. In ancient days a woman having an affair was punishable by death. A man could also be punished. Today, people marry and divorce like eating a piece of candy. People have a casual relationship with lies, and being faithful. Gang’s are on the rise, war within our own society is rising. There is rioting, looting, crime, and so much hate that this world is

Revelation 20:10 “And the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.” We know that in our case resistance is not futile. The Devil will try to fight and draw you away, but the truth is you have a choice. You have a choice to be apart of the resistance against the Devils attempt to take over and trying to achieve absolute power. Revelations 20:1-3 “Then I saw an angel coming down from heaven, holding in his hand the key to the bottomless pit and a great chain. And he seized the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is the devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years, and threw him into the pit, and shut it and sealed it over him, so that he might not deceive the nations any longer, until the thousand years were ended.” We know how the war will end, and we know that we have a choice. While the Devil will whisper in our ears and tempt us down a dark path, we must remain vigilant and continue to fight because we can. While Captain Picard is talking about his fight with the Borg and has his own personal vendetta against them, he made this speech, “We’ve made too many compromises already, too many retreats. They invade our space, and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds, and we fall back. Not again! The line must be drawn here! This far, no further! And I will make them PAY for what they’ve done!” Don’t retreat over and over again. Stand your ground against the Devil and never stop.

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In the days of Rome, the Romans would invade new territory and would largely stay out of the inner workings of the new locations. The Romans would stay out of the affairs of the people unless it directly affected matters of state. The crucifixion of Christ was due to the Pharisees drawing false charges against Jesus. They gathers people by bribing them to come before Pilate and forcing the leader of the Romans in the city to choose death for Christ. Pilate wanted to stay out of the affair, but public uprising was a real threat to his power. Based on the decision of the people and only the people he allowed the people to choose death, and to kill Jesus instead of a known murderer and thief Barbarus. The Samarians however would invade countries and they would force assimilation of the new territory. They would force the women to marry Samaritan men and thus forcing compliance to change beliefs, and the children would be raised as a Samaritan child. Resistance is not futile however when it comes to our fight against the devil. We can resist, and we have our Savior to help us do that.

No matter how bad the odds look or how bad a situation may seem, God can get us through any hardships. Deuteronomy 20:1 “Then I saw an angel coming down from heaven, holding in his hand the key to the bottomless pit and a great chain. And he seized the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is the devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years, and threw him into the pit, and shut it and sealed it over him, so that he might not deceive the nations any longer, until the thousand years were ended.” Make sure you always stand tall, and be ready for anything. Resistance is not futile and you can always fight back, for as long as you draw breath, there’s always hope.

 

 

 

 

The Longest Yard

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The Longest Yard

 September 12, 2004 a day that rings out in memory every year. No matter the time that’s passed the vivid memory floods back every year.

DSC01025The crisp morning air and sun shines down on the empty streets of Ar-Ramadi. The mission starts led by my primary truck. I am the second truck in the convoy and the mission is simple, the scouts provide the quick reaction force in congruence with the Marines that would be doing the door to door raids of several blocks of apartment buildings. While the mission seemed simple the fact is the mission didn’t go according to the plan. Crossing the bridge over the Euphrates River the city looked abandoned. The hair on the back of my neck stood up and as we made the right turn at the fork. The sound came over the radio “IED IED IED!” I saw it, and blew past. The procedure was go out 100 meters, create a perimeter and let the guys in EOD do their thing. Before we made it to the 100 meter mark the truck in front of me disappeared in two massive explosions and smoke, dust, sand, and shrapnel flew into the air causing the road beyond to vanish from sight. From what I knew it looked like the truck had been destroyed. It was at that moment the bullet hit my door and the following moments slowed down. The screams from within the truck of orders and commands, information of targets, directions of travel, and the sounds of gun fire from both overhead and in the distance being directed towards the two trucks.

The 15 minutes of hell on earth left a lasting impression. The half a dozen RPG’s fired towards our location, the battle damage the two trucks endured from the bullet’s, IED’s, and RPG’s was extensive. While my truck took the majority of the damage ending with little to no fluids remaining, blown tires, a loss of power steering, and a main weapon that had a catastrophic failure in the middle of the firefight, the result was clear, God was looking out for the 1/9 scouts that day. While there were several close calls and even after we were credited with several kills, not one of the scouts was wounded that day. No matter how many times I’ve tried the images of that day have stayed with me. We were blessed that day and no amount of luck will ever be able to stand toe to toe with blessings.

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We often look back on our lives with 20/20 vision, and within that we start to question our path. I should have done that, or I could have done more, and any combination therein. In our daily walk we have to learn to trust in ourselves to know we made the best decision possible with what we knew at the time. No matter what problem we are left facing there will always be opinions of a better way to handle it, there will always be questions as to why we did what we did, or why we felt the way we felt, but the truth is, it’s easy to criticize anyone. We will never be free of second guessing, and especially when we see so much failure in our own life, we must learn to let it go. We cannot save everyone. We cannot always save ourselves. We can’t allow ourselves to be overcome with desperation, with sadness, with helplessness, and we must always realize that the past is cemented for all eternity, thus forcing us to do only one thing, and that’s learning from the past.

Remember everything we go through, all the pain, the suffering, and even so much as the good things in our life are just building experiences. When I was a supervisor in security and there would be an event that took place after the excitement was over, the paperwork was done, I often sat down with my officers and did an AAR or After Action Review. I asked them what they thought they did well, and what things they would change, but more importantly what could be learned to improve on for the next emergency or disturbance. No matter what we face in our world we know that God is always with us and we need to have faith in that. We must remember that we are a broken people but there is hope, the light of Christ. While we will make the best choices we can to ensure they truly are the best we must be walking in the light of Christ. Don’t loose sight of the compass that points to God. Have faith in God and our daily choices being made with the thought of ‘What Would Jesus Do’ will allow the scrutiny to be at a minimum.

Sometimes in the dark, sometimes when life is heavy and we can’t get away if feels like that last yard is a mile away. Let me reassure you that no matter the distance you have yet to go, the journey doesn’t have to be yours alone. The distance may seem more then you can go, especially when you feel like you can’t take another step. God will grant you strength to get by on your own, and if the strength isn’t granted to you, God will put someone in your path that will help you bare your cross. Don’t allow the past to dictate terms in your life, and don’t allow today’s problems to weigh you down so much you can’t walk. There’s no shame in asking for help, sometimes that’s exactly what we need and it’s exactly what’s expected.