Tag: family

What’s In Your Heart?

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What’s in your heart?

17 months and I haven’t had any nibbles. I realized for every one worm there’s 15-30 fish. The women just dangle the worm and doesn’t have to do anything. So women, they get to pick the biggest shiniest fish out there. The thing with social dating sites is the emphasis on the physical attraction, and what’s written in the profile is glazed over. While we know what scripture says about your outward appearance, and what God thinks is most important. People will judge others, while God judges the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7 “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” Why can’t we look beyond the flesh to the soul within?

I was told recently that in all of the dating apps out there women are focused on the looks, and because they get so many men to choose from those who look like models are often picked up first, and those who do not, well, they fall to the wayside. Sadly it seems my fish analogy is spot on. While I change my photo’s regularly, and I update what’s written often, as to keep my profiles lively. This however hasn’t changed the outcome, or my luck.

For several or more years I have often been guilty of allowing those who’ve hurt me to remain in my life after a period of time. Someone hurts me and months or years later they pop back up into my life, and once again I allow them access to my life. More often then not, over time that renewed friendship is broken and often in the same it was broke the first time. I have always believed that people are human and they make mistakes. We look only to our own pleasure, the pleasure in someone’s looks, or the pleasure they bring to our lives, and when that pleasure is gone, we as a people move on. I have always tried to look into a person’s heart and see the best in them. We should always learn to seek the heart after God, and not the outer shell. We should always seek ones true self, the actionable, the outward appearance of one’s inner self. True people will hurt you, people will make mistakes, but it’s important not to be taken advantage of.

Learning what’s in someone’s heart is important. It’s important not to be unequally yoked. 2 Corinthians 6:14 “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” In all the time I’ve been trying to get back into dating I have maintained my search for a Christian women to give my heart too. While I have found myself wrestling with my current situation I find that in my heart I am becoming weary. I am tired of seeking people only to be lied to, and dismissed. The thing with our society these days is based so much out the outward appearance. The sad thing about that is, looks fade. Love no longer matters, and people are so easily offended and scared away, that it makes communication a dying art. We don’t take the time to get to know anyone anymore. We don’t take the time to learn about someone, ask them questions, have long heart felt talks, and more importantly, to bond with someone. I’ve found friends that come and go so easily aren’t truly happy with themselves. Lovers who leave for no reason, who give up everything once worked for, are truly broken inside.

If you want to look at someone’s heart, you should look to how they’ve handled rejection. Look at how they handle conflict, and dealt with difficult people. It’s in those moments when they are forced to make a choice. We have both light and dark inside us, and we are always capable of both extraordinary love and compassion, or deep-seated hate and resentment. When you look at someone’s behavior you will get a glimpse of who they are. Sure people are human and there will be times when they don’t put their best foot forward, but when you look at an overall representation, you will see that when the heart is tested, the true nature will rear it’s head. A person who out of anger slashes someone’s tires, or makes up stories and lies, or sells a house full of items behind someone’s back, that person is angry, and vengeful. On the other hand, a person who gives friendly gifts, or offers a shoulder to cry on, or rescues someone from a current boyfriend who’s beat them, regardless of the things done, you can see the difference in the heart. People most always disserve a second chance. People always disserve forgiveness. When we are looking for friends, or for love, we need to remember to look at actions, and look at patters to show one’s heart. “It’s not who I am underneath, it’s what I do that defines me!” (Batman Begins)

 Show your heart and make no mistake that you are beautiful on the inside. There’s a line from the suicide squad that got me thinking. Captain Boomerang (Digger Hartness) was talking to Harley Quinn, he said this, “You know, outside you’re amazing. But inside, you’re ugly.” (Suicide Squad) The thing is when we judge a book by its cover we never truly see what lies beneath. When we look only at what’s on the outside we will often miss the beauty that God created on the inside. Someone as beautiful as Harley Quinn is perfect on the outside but on the inside she’s as broken as they come, and crazy isn’t a strong enough word to describe her. We as Christians need to do better with how we treat others. We need to do better with that big J word that’s floated around and we claim we never do, but we do, and that’s pass judgment. We do it every time we look at someone, every time we talk with someone, and it’s caused a lot of pain and heartache for people. It’s time we learn to look beyond the outer shell, and look more deeply. We should be curious to get to know our brothers and sisters. We should be curious to connect and reach out, and help those in need. We cannot sit idly by and do nothing when our neighbor’s heart is broken. We must share in the joy of life, and help when that joy is broken. We should want to extend our hearts to those in need, and stop judging people by what we see.

I have learned a hard lesson in the last year, and that’s people aren’t what I thought. I never realized how shallow, and selfish people can be on the whole. While I’m obviously not talking in absolutes, black and white, I am talking about the majority, or at least from my vantage point. See we can only come to conclusions based on what we see, what we experience, and although that may not be a fair assessment, it’s the only one some people have. In my experience online dating is a farce, and people are shallow and cruel. While I hope one day to be proven wrong, thus far, the evidence I’ve gathered doesn’t show that. A 30 something, white male, with average looks, and a standing Christian, just doesn’t seem to be what attracts women these days. Now let me say this, attraction is very important in any relationships, and marriage. This cannot be the soul purpose to a relationship though. Looks fade and we must trust in the heart over the eyes. While I have undoubtedly not raised many eyebrows, I realize I cannot give up hope. Every day is a new chance, a new opportunity, and in my search for my counterpart, I realize that in all things we must understand that it’s God’s schedule, not our own that matters. Patience and understand are virtues we must learn to embrace. If you’ve have trouble finding love as I have, don’t give up hope. Remember that prayer alone is not everything, but action is just as important. We must learn to allow prayer and guidance to move our feet in the right direction. We can pray for money, but if we don’t work towards it, it’s not going to show up on our doorstep. Love is the same way. We must go out and be apart of the world. We can’t just sit by and hope it comes to us. We have to have faith, but have action. Show others what’s in your heart, and don’t hide away from your true nature just because you want people to like you. If someone doesn’t like you because you’re a nerd, or you’re a Christian, or you build Lego sets for fun, then they aren’t right for you. Stay strong in your search, and don’t forget to pray about it. Don’t forget to thank God for what you have, and never give up hope. One day your waiting will pay off, and the right things will come to you.

 

 

 

Play the Long Game

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Play the Long Game

I was thinking recently about prayer. Why do we pray to God, and how do we think about that relationship? I’ve recently found myself frustrated that after all this time my prayers hadn’t been answered. I found myself thinking I had done something to upset God and therefore I wouldn’t be getting His grace. I kept thinking to myself ‘I spend all this time lifting others up, I help people and I guide them in the light of the Lord. So why am I left without the one thing I really want in this world?” While this question taunted me in both my dreams and my waking moments, it finally dawned on me. I remembered when I was younger. I was 15 years old and I was having some family problems. Long story short I needed to change my situation and I needed to make a move that would be permanent. With few options I realized I might have to move in with my Grandfather. With a little effort the move with my Grandpa was rather seamless. His house had 3 bedrooms so size wasn’t an issue. The school there was rumored to be a great school and smaller, much smaller so that would actually work out for me. The thing is, Grandpa had been trying to sell his house on and off for a few years and had absolutely no luck. Had his prayers been answered I wouldn’t have had a place to go in my time of need. For me moving to Big Rapids was the best choice I could have ever made. See, unanswered prayers were by design within the long game, and perhaps in the short term an inconvenience, but God doesn’t play the short game.

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2 Timothy 4:7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” When you train for a marathon you learn to take your time, we learn to pace ourselves and see the bigger picture within our race. We always want so badly to finish the race and get the prize, but we don’t want to work to get there. On this long road we find ourselves on, do we get impatient when it comes to our prayers? I have been praying for the same thing for nearly 18 months now and my prayers have yet to be answered. I have asked why, and I have I fallen on my knees as tears fall from my face begging for my prayers to be answered and still I am met with silence.

Lord, I need you, BY: Matt Maher

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You’re the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

See the thing about prayer, and the thing about God is there’s a plan, and His plan isn’t always our plan, in fact his plan is never our plan. I have tried to remember on this lonely path of mine that sometimes we must learn to rest our minds and give it up to God. Prayer comes with one thing that’s so important and that’s faith. When we pray we are asking God to take care of said prayer. Whatever it is desired in our hearts that we take to God we must have Faith that those things are being taken care of, even if it’s not to our speed, or our liking. When we are hurting, or when we are lonely in our own time facing those valleys it can feel like an eternity. When we face our eternity the storm is terrifying, and we question how we can ever make it through. We question how we’re ever going to be strong enough to survive such a terrible storm. When you feel like you’ve lost your way, and you don’t know what to say, just remember that God gave us Christ, and in that we will always have hope. No matter the length of our prayers, the time we wait will not be for nothing.

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When you feel like you are in the storm and you feel broken, and lost, wandering around in the worst pain you’ve ever felt, remember that in our sorrows, we turn to the one place we can find truth, real answers, and we will be renewed in our strength.

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God of All My Days By: Casting Crowns

 I came to You with my heart in pieces
And found the God with healing in His hands
I turned to You, put everything behind me
And found the God who makes all things new
I looked to You, drowning in my questions
And found the God who holds all wisdom
And I trusted You and stepped out on the ocean
You caught my hand among the waves
‘Cause You’re the God of all my days

 Each step I take
You make a way
And I will give You all my praise
My seasons change, You stay the same
You’re the God of all my days

 I ran from You, I wandered in the shadows
And found a God who relentlessly pursues
I hid from You, haunted by my failure
And found the God whose grace still covers me
I fell on You when I was at my weakest
And found the God, the lifter of my head
And I’ve worshiped You
And felt You right beside me
You’re the reason that I sing
‘Cause You’re the God of all my days

 

Worship is hard sometimes when you hurt. The road is long, but the “juice is always worth the squeeze” when God is concerned. God will never leave nor will He forsake you. We cannot see the joys that are coming in our life, but when we walk with God our blessings will be endless. We long for things in our heart, and when the time is right for us, we will be granted those things if they are to lift us up. The Lord can give and take away anything. I know for me, I long for the love of another. I feel alone most of my days and I struggle to find the joy in the things around me. I have prayed till my tears would flow no more. I have prayed with everything I had and yet no answer. It’s not easy to quiet your mind and allow the world to happen all around you, and find yourself content. It’s not easy being bombarded with lies from the Devil telling you, you’re not good enough. Lies telling you that you’ll never be loved, never be wanted. The Devil tells you lies like you’re worthless, and helpless. The Devil tells you, you deserved the pain that was brought down upon you. When we are in our own pain, it’s hard to see the way out of that. Sometimes the pain we’re in lasts a long time. Sometimes the heartbreak we feel goes far beyond what we ever expected it would. The long game though, a journey of thistles and thorns, the trials of fire to forge you into something more. You must be broken down to be built up stronger as something else. When you don’t know how to stand, don’t, fall to your knees and pray. When you don’t know how to walk anymore, crawl. When you can’t see your way, stop and close your eyes. When you can’t move, learn to be still. When your world is upside down, learn to pray, learn to cry, learn to be exactly wherever you are. God will allow you to go through Hell to get to Heaven. You’re stronger then you know, because if you have God in your heart you can achieve greatness. You’re a child of the King and if that’s the truth, then you have the winning side in your corner. Have faith and keep your sight on the Golden Ring.

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My God,

You have seen it fit to allow me to walk this path alone on this earth. You have seen it fit to give me just what I need to keep moving forward. My God you have seen it fit to leave me alone with no companion. You’ve seen it fit to allow my body to fail me, and with no sign of reprieve I ask you my God to take me out of the shadows. My God I ask for you to remove this pain from my heart and show me the sun once more. I pray to you to take me out of this storm and give me rest. My God you are the God of all the hills and valleys and I pray to be laid beside the green meadows, and no longer in the valley. I have trusted you my Lord and as I still do I know that in all things you have the power and the will to change anything. My God I ask to help my friends who are suffering this night. I pray you give them rest, and peace where they need it. I pray to rise me up to the top of the mountain and give me the strength to stand, and run, free from the shadows that taunt me at night. I know I’m not alone even though I often feel like it. Protect me from the lies I hear in the dark. Protect me from the attacks I face day in and day out. I know my God someday I will move forward, and I know that even though I feel like I’m going backwards, and I know I’m not home yet. I know I have more to do, and I pray for the wisdom to see it through to the end. I pray to have the strength and wisdom of my brother Paul who was your beautiful Child, who ran the race, and taught and preached your word. I see so much, and I pray I see through your eyes. I know that today isn’t the end, and even though I feel tired, and I feel weak, I know that you will strengthen me to finish strong. Guide me through this storm, and allow me to continue to do the works you have me do. Allow this little Blog to grow and spread further into the world. Allow my struggles to be someone else’s strength. Give me guidance and if your will is to answer my prayers I understand it will be in your time. In all things I give thanks and I pray for peace and joy upon my friends and family. “I’ll live this life till this life won’t let me live here anymore.” (Big & Rich) Your will be done my Lord, my King, my Abba.

Amen.

 

 

 

 

Play Well With Others

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Play Well With Others

What are your values? Where do you gather your value system and how that treats to others. Matthew 6:21 “Your Treasure is where your heart is.” Men share facts, women share feelings. How does this cause problems in our relationships? When life is an experience how do we experience things differently? Men we are goal, or mission oriented. Women are experience oriented. Take shopping for instance, we have our differences, but how does this affect the relationship? Women will hunt for the best deals, men we negotiate with conflict. Men loose self esteem in financial hardships. Inside men struggle when financial hardships are present. Women have terror when there are financial hardships. Men we need to learn to reassure our women that things will be okay. Women reassure men that they aren’t worthless because the bank is low. We need to learn how to manage our stress and how we work together. This isn’t just in relationships of the intimate variety, but in all relationships we have.

As a people we must learn to unify with our fellow Christians. When we are at work do we leave Jesus at the door on our way out? When we are ‘Yoked Equally” When we are with people who are unified, we are stronger then we can ever believe when we help carry the cross. When we are together we will fill in for the others weaknesses. We are all weak in different areas, and when we find mutual goals, we can lift up one another when needed. We can be amazing Christians if we decide to work towards the same mission.

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When I think of playing well with others I think of Batman and the Justice League. Individually Batman works alone or with a select partner. Batman wants to control the situation because he is wired to have control over his life. When he lost his parents he had no control, and after that he decided he never wanted to not be in control anymore. When there’s a need though, Batman is able to let go of some of his control issues and he works together with the rest of the League. We must learn that we all bring something special to the table. Each of us has our own gifts that are unique to us, and with that, we are special because we are perfectly created by God. When the Avengers first came together they being strong personalities rubbed each other the wrong way. This happens sometimes, but when it starts to happen the right things to do is take a step back, check your own personal pride, and your own ambitions, and ask yourself how you are inhibiting the group effort. We have our own ideas, and we have our own goals, but whether it’s at home in a marriage dealing with money or raising children, or dealing with people at work.

Where are you on the spectrum of dealing with people? Are you someone who can manage to work with people, or are you a loner? No matter where you are on the spectrum Luke 6:27-36 applies. “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic[a] either. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. 32 “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.”

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It’s hard to love everyone, and to be a team player all the time. We don’t want to allow people to take advantage of us, but in our home life, in our work life, and in our public lives we must learn to get along and work together. No matter if your Batman, or Tony Stark, you should learn to place nice. We will always be put into situations where we will be forced to work on things we may not like. God always wants us to grow, and to quote from my favorite Android, “To grow beyond my original programming.” (Data) Whatever you do in your life always push yourself to be exceptional, not just ordinary. Push yourself to grow, and never stop growing. Make sure your values and your compass point towards the word of God. When your compass points in the right direction, dealing with difficult situations can often be difficult, and a challenge even for the most devout, but in all things be Christ like.

WALK A MILE

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WALK A MILE

Don’t judge because you don’t know what someone’s been through. I’ve seen it a lot where people pass judgment on others, and even on me. I have lost many friends in my life because of one sad thing, judgment. Don’t we judge the homeless man? Don’t we judge the person with tattoos all over their body? Don’t we judge others based on what we see, or what we think? When we judge based on what we think, lest not we be judged. Matthew 7:1-3 ““Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” We don’t know what someone’s going through, and we don’t know how or why they are in their own situation that you are judging them. When we decide to leave someone because they are going through a hard time, think about how you would feel if you were in their shoes. If you spend a little while walking a mile in someone’s shoes, know that the truth is, you never know how you would respond, and yet you are so quick to condemn others when you have no idea how they feel, or what they are going through.

What It’s Like

We’ve all seen a man at the liquor store beggin’ for your change

The hair on his face is dirty, dread-locked, and full of mange

He asks a man for what he could spare, with shame in his eyes

“Get a job you f***** slob, ” is all he replies

God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes

‘Cause then you really might know what it’s like to sing the blues

We think we know, and we think we see the truth, but the fact is we really don’t. When experience is unique based on a lifetime of compound experiences, how dare us for thinking we have any right at all to judge anyone for the precarious predicament someone finds themselves in. That drunk outside the store, maybe he’s a Vietnam veteran, and maybe he has nightmares and flashbacks of being a soul survivor in an ambush in the jungle. Maybe he drinks to hide away from the pain. I’m not condoning drinking to hide from anything, nor am I condoning self medicating, but what would you do? If you had lived through something like that, how would you handle it? When you put a little perspective on why he’s in that situation it changes your response, or at least it should.

A while back, I was told by one of my best friends that I deserved my ex wife having an affair. I deserved her leaving and all of the horrible things she did to admittedly try to get me to hate her. When judgment was passed upon me, I fought back. See, I think one of the biggest things we sinners do is forget that when we are in pain, we often project that pain onto others. We don’t treat others in pain very well. We don’t place our selves before we decide guilt. We come to conclusions without the facts, and we condemn before we understand. We are blind and we often chose not to see. We don’t see truth; instead we make up our own truth. We decide that we have to be right because what else could it be? We never think beyond our own little box. We believe that anyone who doesn’t prescribe to our own thought processes must be wrong.

(God’s Not Dead 2 Spoilers)

In the movie God’s Not Dead 2, the pastor is removed as a juror in the trial because he needs surgery. In his place an alternate, a young girl with a skater look, piercings, and not at all someone you’d ‘think’ would swing to the defendants side. When the trial is over you see her walk by the defendant who was just found not guilty, and on the back of her neck a tattoo of a cross. She was the swing vote, and a voice for God. I’ve seen men with tattoo’s up and down their bodies preach the gospel louder then those who grew up in the church. I’ve seen men with sorted pasts, criminal pasts, who are the voice of the bible as they are firm believers. We just don’t know what someone’s going through. We don’t know what someone’s gone through in their past. We see with our own eyes, and we should try to see with God’s eyes.

Give Me Your Eyes, By: Brandon Heath

Step out on the busy street.
See a girl and our eyes meet.
Does her best to smile at me.
To hide what’s underneath.
There’s a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie.
Too ashamed to tell his wife he’s out of work, he’s buyin time.
All those people going somewhere, why have I never cared.

 We see the world through sinners eyes and we are blind to the truth. We make up our own truth, and we sin when we pass judgment upon others. Are we so self righteous that we think we are the gold standard for good behavior? We have no business, or right to think our moral judgment stand above God’s. Everyone’s pain is different and unless we’ve lived someone’s life, we have no right to do anything but lift up, to help, to guide those we come in contact with. When we pass our own conclusions we become hypocrites. We become no better then the Pharisees Jesus spoke out against. We become no better then the one-sided news agencies we argue about. We become no better then crooked politicians and when we look upon someone with the contempt that comes with judgments we are looking at them with darkness in our heart. We do not show or share compassion like we should.

We all need to face a hard reality check. John 8:4-9 “4 they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. 5 Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” 6 This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7 And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9 But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him.” Jesus is not condoning her actions, he is not condemning her either, he is looking upon her with compassion and forgiveness. He teaches us to not be so quick to condemn others for their mistakes, or their sins. Instead help those in need, guide those who sin, and be a light for them. “Go forth and sin no more.” He tells her. He shows her kindness and empathy. We must learn to love the sinner, hate the sin. We must learn to hold everyone in our hearts and spread the gospel.

If we spent as much time spreading the word of God to those around us, as we do looking upon others with contempt, imagine how many lives we could touch with the word of God. If we spent as much time in self-reflection as we spend criticizing others, we would have a far better walk with God. We need to take that gaze and turn it inward and then we will find we might not like what we see. Once the gaze is on ourselves we can better ourselves to have a far better walk with Jesus. The only judgment that will ever matter is that of the Lord, and that in which the Lord sees within us. If we are pure in heart, and faithful to the word of God we will find our actions will become pleasing. We should walk and talk in the reflection of Christ. We must learn that in all places, and to all people we are loving and compassionate. Do not seek conflict, and do not think you know what’s best for everyone. Find your faith that in all things God is working behind the scenes, and things will always work out to glorify our God. Before you judge be sure to walk that mile in someone else’s shoes. Then, you may understand what they are going through.

 

 

 

 

 

Blur of the Nights

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Blur of the Nights

The nights all seem the same, no change, and no growth, just the endless monotony that there seems to be no reprieve. How do we fight the darkness that builds when we star to fall into a state of depression? Sometimes the struggle is very real and in our struggles we can get lost in the blur of the night.

We pray and we hope that someday sometime the change will come. We don’t know when or how but we have to believe it’s coming. We need to rest our weary head on Gods shoulder and let Him take care of us. Let God wipe our tears and dry our face. Look into the eyes of the storm and brace for the worst. The rain comes and it goes and we may take some damage but we will make it through. Believe in yourself and know you’re stronger then you think you are. It is always darkest just before the dawn, so know that when all light seems lost, the Sun is just about to rise. Don’t loose sight of the Golden Ring and keep racing the race. Take it in stride and never quit. While you’re going through Hell, someone else might be going through the same hell and you’re on a collision course. Keep your chin up and reach, reach for the sky and keep going.

Matthew 5:3-14 3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. 5 “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. 6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. 7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. 8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. 9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons[a] of God. 10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. We are blessed, and we are often forgetting what we do have, and how it could be worse. While that in no way lessens or undermines the fight you’re in, we must try to find the blessings even if it’s just small stuff.

For me the nights blur together and I struggle to keep myself from falling into depression. The lack of social interaction outside of my four walls has been getting to me lately. Despite my efforts to go beyond the digital ‘friends’ I have by way of Internet, and my phone, I have not expanded my social circle at all. We must never give up, and when your days start to blur together, we should try and find ways to break up the monotony. Volunteer, travel, nature hikes, or just going to the movies on your own, we must be active to stay off depression. Don’t let it creep in and destroy you. Depression is so hard to fight and we don’t want to fight when it’s to late. Don’t give up on your day, but try to improve your lifestyle by finding things of interest you can easy achieve. Don’t be afraid to take chances to change your days. We never know what we can do, or achieve.

 

When the Struggles Comes

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When the Struggles Comes

Bad things happen to everyone, that’s a fact that is undeniable. The common saying is ‘why do bad things happen to good people?’ The fact is, no matter who you are, or how good of a person you are, no matter the good deeds you do, the lives you touch or save, you are not immune from the Devil, or the Devil’s impact or influence. Bad things happen because of Sin entering the world. People who sin affect those around them, and sin has a way of snowballing downhill. When the bad things happen there’s only a few ways to look at it, A: what did I do to bring this upon myself. If you were not the cause of the bad thing, then move onto B: What did someone else do around me to cause this? The final choice if neither A nor B is choice C: Usually medically related and we don’t have a good answer why babies get cancer, or why a mother dies early in life, we just don’t know the bigger plan or purpose. The simple fact is, we are always being bombarded by sin all around us, and at some point in our lives, just like the big earthquake, the big one will hit. What have you done to prepare for it, and how will you handle when it does?

Everyone has a story, and that story is unique and special. No matter what trials you’ve been through, what trauma’s, or even the joys and travels you’ve experienced, you are what your history has made you. No one person is less or more important. Everyone we encounter will have an effect on our lives, and everyone we encounter will have an equal affect. Though the effect we have changes with each person we meet, we need to realize not everyone will appreciate you, accept you, or even like you, but what really matter above all else, is that God accepts you. What can we learn from the experiences of others? I think we’ve become a society that shy’s away from embracing the suck. We shy away from our traumas because it hurts; it’s painful to think about, and sometimes even more so to talk about. What impact could we have on others if we shared our experiences instead of running away from them? I know for me reliving my trauma’s has never been a joy, and sometimes they keep me up at night. While I am still struggling to find my way, I realize that no matter how low I feel, I have to lift my worries, my concerns and my pain to the Lord.

We naturally shy away from things that make us uncomfortable, but I think the biggest tragedy is when we push people away who are the ones going through the tough time. There are instances I can understand when we walk away from someone, such as a person who takes and takes, who brings negativity by abuse or cruelty. Those kinds of people it can be unhealthy to keep them around. We never turn our backs on them, but we must also protect ourselves. The difference is when we push someone away who is legitimately going through a hard time in their life that isn’t of their own doing, or even if it is, someone who’s trying to make it right by actively trying to change their situation. When we cut contact or ties to rid ourselves of the negative vibe we are actively going against God’s command. Galatians 6:2 “2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” When we are in need, when we are enduring pain and suffering we should be able to turn to our brothers and sisters to be lifted up, to help us bare the weight of the cross we carry. Likewise we are told to bear those burdens, 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” A persons hardships are a blessing and when we survive the flame we will see the fruit that is made. When we realize there is always a bigger picture and when we can use our tragedies to lift up those who come after us, we will continue to spread the will and love of God.

We don’t want to be someone who always focuses on the negative, but we must understand that the negative does happen. We must learn to listen with the heart and embrace those who seek us to help carry their cross. Do we turn them away in their time of need? Do we lift them up with encouragement, or do we tear them down even further? Truth is truth and facts are facts, and we must learn to listen with open ears, and open hearts. We cannot push people away in need. We must respect the natural order of things and realize that hardships come to all. If your number hasn’t come up yet it will. Pain comes to all it’s just a matter of time. Who will be there for you when your number’s pulled?

When the struggle comes you will learn who your true friends are, and who’s a fair weather friend. You will find yourself struggling from time to time, but fear not, the Lord is always with you. Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” The Lord will never forsake us and even in the darkest of days, the fiercest of storms, we need to know and remember the God who created us and Loves us unconditionally. God who is always watching over us will always provide to us what we need, when we need it. God will also give to us the people who we can count on to be there for us. We may not see it sometimes, and we may not want to, but our will, our wish, or our own desires may not fall within the will of God. When we walk a different path from God we will often miss out on our blessings. Have faith and see the joys in the blessings we are given. Love and friendship are a rare thing sometimes. It’s so easy for us stupid humans to take that for granted. I know I have taken my blessings for granted and when they were taken away from me, it crushed me, nearly destroyed me, and rebuilding from nothing is far worse then realizing what’s there and embracing the joy of our beautiful gifts that come from our Abba (father). God will rebuild our lives when it crumbles, but we must remain faithful, and loyal to the word. Never give up hope for as long as you draw breath, as long as there is strength in your heart, hope is eternal. Tomorrow may be the change you were waiting for, and perhaps, if you’re lucky, that change may come today when you least expect it. Don’t let your pain rule over you. Don’t let your sorrow blind you from the truth in front of you. You’re not alone, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. Love will always find you.

 

 

Dont’ Waste your Kindness

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Don’t Waste your Kindness

What kind of person are you? Lets take a look and let’s be honest and promise not to lie to one another. When we truly evaluate ourselves and how we treat others, do we truly fall on the side of light or dark? I’ve been told I’m overly forgiving. This isn’t exactly a bad trait, but when you allow someone to take advantage then a healthy line should be dawn. I’ve been told I’m to empathetic. I often give people chance after chance to come in and out of my life, but sadly I’m the one who always ends up hurt. I fail miserably in drawing healthy boundaries in the sand. I allow people to walk all over me and I often find myself wondering why me? This can lead to a hardening of your heart if you aren’t careful. Because of the constant painful experiences, and constant loss in the last year, I’ve questioned my policies, and my place in this world.

Philippians 2:3 [Let] nothing [be done] through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. We must remember to remain true to our walk with God. We must remember that we are to lift up with the tongue never to tear down. We are commanded to Love and love everyone. 1 John 4:8 “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” We must remember this that loving is a choice. I’m not talking about when you fall in love for someone and you love them romantically, I’m talking about loving in the love of all men/women. We have to keep the love in our hearts, and be empathetic and sympathetic to those in need. Ephesians 4:2 “2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,” Having patience is a command, not a request. Knowing to be patient with people because people are human, and we are all full of Sin, and we are all going to make mistakes. Those mistakes are to be forgiven and we are to love the sinner. No matter the hurt we have a choice to make. How do we treat others, and how do we help those around us fall? Do we berate them? Do we abandon them? Do we help them in their time of need?

1 John 3:16-18 “16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. 17 But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? 18 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” We must remember to be there for those in need. We have to resist putting ourselves in harms way, but we must put ourselves out there. It’s a fine line and we have to keep our heads high. While everyone deserves a second chance because at any time during someone’s life they can turn around, we must pray and have hope. Everyone deserves kindness, everyone deserves to be loved and to have someone listen when they are in need.

My suggestion would be to find a balance between enabling someone and helping someone who genuinely needs it. I myself admit I’m easily taken advantage of. I become much less aware when I am going through hard times, or when I’m lonely, but in those times I seek attention and I often find the wrong type. I allow people to treat me badly over and over again because I feel I should look at the good they can be instead of seeing the vial they are being. I have to work on this, and I am working on finding healthier ways to interact with others. I cannot watch as friends come and go as they please so long as something’s in it for them. As I have watched many of my so-called friends leave in the last year and some change, I have come to realize that some people are only in a friendship so long as they get something out of it. Some people will come around and smile, and play nice because they want you for a particular reason, and once the status quo changes, they will leave. I have seen fair weather friends come and go and as it’s heart breaking. I know I need to draw a healthier boundary with people I come into contact with, and above all else, I think I need to not be so invested in others. I give my heart and I get crushed. I’ve been taking it personally, and there’s been a mixed opinion if I should or not, but I feel like I do. Don’t harden your heart to never be kind to others, just make sure that you are kind to everyone, but be cautious who you invest more then just kind words with.

According to the plan….. Wait That’s Not Right

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According to the plan….. Wait That’s Not Right

What happens when you’re trapped in your own four walls? When the very thought about going out makes you weak at the knees and it feels like you can’t move or breathe? When depression, anxiety, and fear trap a once lively sociable person, and turns them into a flake, a hermit, unable to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and carry forward. How do we handle being on both sides? On one side you are the one trapped and all of the ways it hurts. On the other hand the one looking in, and dealing with the pain that comes with always being told no, even after plans were made has to deal with patience, understanding, forgiveness, and somewhere hope.

We all know things don’t usually go according to the plan, but it’s in those failures that we must understand there’s a reason. Sometimes the reason is a better path, sometimes it’s based on a persons free will, but in all things God’s in control. If God sees a path going array, just know that if you’re faithful and remain righteous God’s plan will be for you to prosper. We all make choices and for better or worse those choices affect those around us. A good Christian will uphold to their word and do what they say they are going to do. But what happens when their word is broken because of illness? We all need to understand a person dealing with depression, anxiety, and those who are just lost, will often say and do things that may lead to pain for others. While it hurts to look into someone’s life who’s suffering form that, we must understand that in order for us to be Godly in this situation we must approach with endless love, endless compassion, endless empathy, and endless forgiveness. No one wants to be depressed, and trapped in their own mind. There are lots of reasons for depression, and even if sometimes it’s caused from peoples bad choices, that doesn’t mean they should be condemned by them forever. Our place is not to judge, but to help carry the cross. The fine line is helping whether it’s been asked for or not. If we love someone though, we need to realize that love is the action of doing, not the feeling and sitting back and doing nothing. While love is a feeling, it’s what we do that’s more important.

When we are the ones trapped inside our heads and we can’t seem to break out, we need to be praying. We need to work on our faith, we need to find Godly counsel, we need to ensure we are not becoming stagnant water. We have to keep moving forward, and it won’t be easy, but we have to. We cannot give up who we are, and we cannot become something we were never meant to become. Dealing with addictions, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, and feeling lost, can be some of the worst things to face on the planet. When we forsake everyone around us and we choose to walk a path alone, we are walking away from God. We all turn and walk the wrong path at some point, but it’s important to notice that it’s happening and find yourself wherever you are, and realize that the Devil’s been lying to you. You need to wake up from the fog, and you need to as God to help you back. There will always be people in your life that at the moments notice will help you find your way. There will always be people who care, who love, who support, and who cherish you. If they aren’t in your life right now, when you make that change, God will provide. Just have faith, and as the battle wages on, be strong, fight back, and never give up hope.

When your plans explode and your day doesn’t go the way you want it, I always find myself going back to the words of the great Leonard Snart “Make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan.” No matter where the plans take you, the best you can do is to drop back, evaluate, and move in a new direction. I’m not saying when plans fail it doesn’t hurt, because sure it does. Yesterday when my plans exploded in my face on my birthday I was devastated. I thought for sure history wouldn’t repeat itself, but sure as I’m alive, the plan went off the rails. Instead of going out and having a nice night for my birthday, it turned into an evening in, building on of the coolest Lego set’s I’ve ever built. Not what I wanted, or what I had in mind, but I’m sure that in some way, it was for the best.

When life goes off the rails, just remember the rules: Be patient, an archer waits for his shot, he doesn’t fire aimlessly into the dark hoping to hit something. Be kind, an archer is fierce and doesn’t aim to be cruel to others. Be forgiving, we are all human on this big floating rock in space. We will make mistakes, and we will hurt others. People will hurt us, and it’s in that we must always remember to forgive without question, or without expectation to receive it in return. Never Give UP, we must always push forward and never give up because we know that God is never giving up on us. Dealing with any form of mental illness is hard, and when we are the ones in the wake of it’s destruction, we need to be calm, and caring, not cold and callus. When our plans don’t go the way we want them, have faith that we are where we are meant to be, and trust that God will help place us on the path. It’s for us to listen, and for us to watch for His signs, but in all things trust in the Lord with your heart, and believe you are moving to glorify the Father. People will hurt you, plans will change, life may be flipped upside down, but when you love, when you forgive, when you are gracious, and compassionate, the Lord will bless you, when the time’s right. Have faith, Have love, Have Christ in your heart.

We All Have One

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We All Have One

Matthew 18:21 “21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus,because he will save his people from their sins.” The birth of Christ is celebrated every year and likewise when our birthday comes up we take the time to celebrate. Since we all have one, and I’m not very good at this sometimes, I will say, today’s my birthday. So I wanted to make a small list of things I’m thankful of.

I am thankful for my home, having a warm place to lay my head, a nice place to work out of, and anyplace I can have Riley and Cooper. I’m thankful for being debt free, and I’m thankful for the people that have chosen to be in, and apart of my life. I am thankful for my mother who’s been helping me on my path to rebuild.

When we realize we are a year older we spend time looking back, and looking forward. Although the last year has been a challenging one we can always remember to look forward. A celebration to remind us we are still here. We grow in wisdom, in wonderful seasoning, and look forward to the year. It seems as if the last few years have gone by faster and faster. We questions our own mortality at times, and for me, I sit and I have Cooper in my lap, and a cold monster (energy drink) next to me, and my computer that I’ve written so many blog posts on. No matter what this year may bring, or what trials I may face, I know I’m here for a reason. As my birthday is nothing special I take this time and remain hopeful for a better year. I think we all have our purpose and any birthday is worth celebrating.

I look forward to the evening of unknown. I don’t have any plans, but a couple beers with the dogs and even though that’s a normal night, I think happiness is a relative state of being, and as far as getting older goes, I’m okay with it.

Happy Birthday to me, and I’d say 34 is looking good. I’ve noticed how many people have told me I don’t look like I’m in my 30’s, so at least I have that going for me.

 

The Big Picture

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The Big Picture

Lately I have been feeling a little down about myself. I say that like it’s something new, but the truth is I’ve always had some self-esteem issues. The thing is though, lately it seems I just can’t seem to gain any traction. With everything going on it’s been such a challenge to find what I’ve been looking for. In this day in time it’s crazy to think people are still lonely, and that a world so connected through a thousand different ways, and yet people still struggle to make that sought after relationship with people. Why is it that in a world with billions of people, and the ability to reach anyone in mere seconds, people are still unable to make a connection?

I feel one of the biggest things we do as people is to forget about others. We’ve become so focused on self, that we forget the people on the other side of the keyboard are people. It’s so easy to dismiss someone, not read the tone of a message the way it was intended, or sadly just base your entire search on looks and looks alone. There’s no human connection anymore, and most it seems no longer make an emotional connection. To say people are fickle doesn’t seem to be a strong enough word. The world has become a cold place and I think it’s time we change that.

Since the advent of the cell phone and the SMS (text message) we’ve seen a steady change in the way we communicate. The text message led into social media, Myspace, then Facebook. Eventually the online messenger service faded away and Facebook was all that was left. I remember as a teenager being on the phone for hours. I was able to pick up the phone and call any number of friends and they’d answer, we would talk, and we actually had things to talk about. Today however it seems as if finding conversation is a lost art. People don’t talk on the phone hardly anymore, and now we are to busy to respond back to messages on Facebook. It really drives me nuts when people have their phones set to show when the message is read, or on Facebook when you can see your message has been seen, yet, hours, days, weeks goes by and no response. What’s happened to this world when we see someone taking the time to reach out, and we no longer have any emotional attachment to that friend? I think the reason is actually part of a bigger picture. If I were the Devil, I’d want to drive a wedge in people. If I were the Devil I’d slowly make people more and more selfish by placing a wedge between them. If I were the Devil I’d kill off communication, destroy homes with meaningless online flings, and for those who are lonely, make it even harder for them to meet anyone in real life. If I were the Devil I would thrive in the shadows and use the facelessness of the internet to increase the amount of depression, and self-esteem issues. A place where someone can hide from life and in essence have a separate life in digital form.

As time has passed in my life I have found people are becoming less concerned with how their actions affect someone else. I’ve found people quickly and easily cut ties with others, say hurtful things to one another, and are so quick to judge, it’s easy to do now that you don’t have to see the hurt on someone’s face when you do it. I think that’s one of the biggest down sides to all the faceless communication, is the lack of accountability. You can say anything and hurt someone’s feelings, rip out their heart, but you never have to see it, or hear from them again. The Devil is literally creating a divide in our society. We are easier to be picked off when we are alone. When I look at the national suicide rate in this country it sickens me. When I look at the number of veterans that commit suicide every day, I can’t help but have to pick my heart up off the floor. The Devil can drive a wedge in our lives, separate us from those whom we’re supposed to be closest to, we’re like a gazelle being chased by a cheetah.

I think in order to really affect change we need to rethink how we interact with others. I think we need to reconnect with the human race and instead of staring at the phone, put it to your ear and communicate using that little thing called a mouth. I think we need to get back to feeling empathy for those in suffering, joy for those who are happy, and actually having friendships. I think the term friend is used far too loosely these days, and so is the word love. We no longer remember that love isn’t just an emotion; it’s something we are supposed to do. It’s something that takes effort, and time, and control, yet once we get passed the butterflies and the warm fuzzies, we are reduced to looking for the next high. I think people have become so self orientated, so consumed with gratification, that the long game is no longer relevant. People no longer communicate to learn, or to grow, it’s now ‘how can I be entertained?’ These issues are a systemic problem that has really cropped up in the last 15 years. Sadly as this problem has grown there are casualties.

I think we needed to get back to a place where we are more able to communicate with those we interact with. Social media can be a great tool when used the way it was originally designed. but when we remove the original purpose (to connect with those whom we have lost touch with) we lose sight of why we were there to begin with. When we read something we enjoy, or even something we don’t we should offer some kind of thoughtful words. We should say hello to people, and attempt to get to know them. We should allow our natural curiosity to teach us about other people. When we live our lives in silence, and we don’t engage with others with whom we meet, we are not fulfilling our roll as Christians. We are told to celebrate in Christ together, to fellowships, and to love our neighbors. We are told to bare one another’s burdens, and lift up with the tongue not to tear down. Silence can be just as damaging as negative words. Go forward and think about the people in your lives. Have you kept in touch like you should, have you been there for them when they need it the most, or have you been a fare weather friend? It’s never too late to mend bridges and it’s never to late to avoid calamity. We all have the ability to change lives if we just move beyond our own thumbs, our own stress, and see that maybe there is time to open up more. When I was working full time I was also in school full time, and a full time husband. I always found time to message my friends, check in to see how things were going. It’s all about what’s important to you, and who. We never know in our lives when things may go sour and when they do, we all need people in our lives who will be there to help us through. If you’re not there for your friend when they need you, do you believe they will be there for you? One thing is certain, we all could use a little more love in our hearts.