Tag: faith

God Provides

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God Provides

Have you ever noticed how when you are faithful God provides exactly what you need when you need it? You may not have extra, but the need is provided.

I can’t help but feel a sense of gratitude towards God and all my friends who’ve helped me through this tempestuous time. As the time has gone on I began to question if the storm would ever subside. Galatians 6:9 “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” If I am not mistaken this verse tells us to continue to try and even when things are going well and we’ve poured our time and effort into the good and bad times, to not grow weary.

When times continue and our desires, the things we wish the most are not given to us it’s hard to be patient. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Being patient is hard for us little humans. Finding inner peace is not easy. I’ve spent the last 8 months searching for peace, and every time I think I’ve found it, every time I think I have made progress I stumble and fall backwards again. I try to follow John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

 The truth is I am afraid. I’m afraid I am not good enough for someone to make them happy. I am afraid I am meant for nothing more then a basic security officer never destined to amount to any kind of greatness. I have spent a lifetime judging my own success on what others think of me, my success within my relationships, and my career. In the last 8 months I have lost every bit of what I judged my own success, my own self worth. My biggest problem has always been my fear of being alone. I still fear being alone, and I still fear failing.

I know that God will provide what I need when it’s time, and I have faith that God will not want me to be alone forever, just for the time being. The hardest thing to do is to have faith especially when you’re hurting. As faithful when the sun rises, and the sun setting, knowing the world will still turn, and life will continue to move on, we must believe that the God of all things will not fail us. Surviving the desert was a miracle under the circumstances. While there however I saw some of the most beautiful sunsets and sun rises. It always reminded me that God was always there and in control.

What’s On Your Duty Belt?

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What’s On Your Duty Belt?

The other day I was asked if I had a Letherman on my belt (affectionately known as the bat belt). Sadly I hadn’t yet picked one up to be an accessory. The man whom I’d been having a very nice conversation with had to walk a mile to the Walgreen’s down the street. This saddened me. I always prided myself on being prepared for as many things in my day as I could. That night on my way home I was so convicted to change that I stopped at Walmart on my way home and I picked up a new utility tool. I found one to fit my needs at $10.00. I felt good about that and didn’t hesitate to put it in the cart. Two days later another family needed a screwdriver and his time I was able to come to their rescue. I see our walk with Christ to be similar.

When we face problems in our walk through Christianity we’ll often face these trials and it’s important to have the right knowledge, the right scripture, the right weapon the right tool for the right job.

Having the right tool however isn’t just enough, you have to be able to know how to use that tool to be able to use it effectively. If you had a saw and you didn’t know how to use it as a carpenter that wouldn’t do you very much good. If you had a chainsaw you needed to cut down a tree but you had no idea how you might cut down the tree and have it fall on you or you might cut down the tree and have a go through your window or you might get lucky and it might fall exactly where you wanted to but you have to have knowledge of how to use the tools and not just have them.

The tempting of Jesus:

Matthew 4:1-11

3 And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.

 4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.

 5 Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple,

 6 And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.

 7 Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.

 8 Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them;

 9 And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me.

10 Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.

 11 Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.

 It’s not just having the Bible as a weapon on your belt. You must know how to use it when the time comes. Knowing the Bible is there for you is great, but when tempted do you know what scripture to read? Do you know what the teachings are? Jesus knew exactly what to say to Satan to turn him away. Satan knows scripture, he knows the Holy word of the Lord, but he will try to tempt you, try to trick you to false doctrine. If you aren’t educated on scripture what chance do you have against Satan who knows it all? You must not just have a Bible, you must know your Bible, you must read it, and study it. There’s a scene in the Hunger Games the 1st one where Katniss is up in a tree and the Careers try to use the bow to shoot her down. Every one of them missed because they didn’t know how to use it. Another example is ‘The Book of Eli’. Eli’s mission is to get the ‘book’ west. Carnegie a town overlord knew what the Bible was and wanted to use it as a weapon. In the movie Eli was protected by the Holy Spirit and he knew he would be protected by God.

In every situation we find ourselves in we can ask ourselves a few questions. First, is what I’m about to do to glorify God or myself? And second if I ask my pastors advice on this would they approve? If the answers to either of those are yourself or no, chances are you shouldn’t be doing it. This world will tempt you with all manner of promises of joy and satisfaction, but in every circumstance nothing is new under the sun. Anything you think you may face today can usually be found in scripture.

Know your Bible, be able to fight off the Tempter when He comes knocking at your door. Be able to use scripture when you have to make hard choices. Be able to use scripture when you must defend your faith. 2 Timothy 3:12 “Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.” When the day comes to stand trial amongst men stand ready and rebuke any claim made against you with scripture. Then you will truly have the Armor of God on your Duty Belt.

 

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Raise Your Hands

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Raise Your Hands

When you finally stop struggling, stop fighting the Lord all you can do is fall to your knees and cry, raise your hands to the lord and surrender. It’s like a long battle being waged, and when that battle finally ends it’s like being reborn, loosing old flesh like a snake shedding its scales. You can only raise your hands and pray to our Father and ask for forgiveness for being lost so long. Traveling in the darkness full of monsters, ghouls, and all manner of evil creatures lurking in the blackness of night. When the light of God enters your heart, convicts you, the darkness can no longer survive so long as that light shines.

Nothing really matters anymore when you let the Lord in. The problems of the world, the problems in our hearts, are all small potatoes to the Lord. We must learn to let go of the things we cannot change and accept the things we can. Our hands are but tools for the lord, and lifting them shows God we praise him, we worship him, we have open hands ready to receive whatever the Lord has to give us.

Psalms 63:4 “Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.” Even the great King David knew he was a servant to the Lord. A man after God’s own heart, a King over thousands, with hundreds if not more servants of his own knew he had to give praise to the Lord. 1 Timothy 2:8 “I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.” Through all things we praise the Lord, and give him Glory. Even as he was loosing everything, Job a faithful loving servant of God lifted his hands. Job 11:13 “If thou prepare thine heart, and stretch out thine hands toward him;”

 Most of my life I felt it was silly to raise my hands during worship. But after one day when my world had collapses around me, and I surrendered it all to the Lord, when I finally knew I couldn’t win the fight on my own, I acquiesced to the Lord, I laid down my problems, I rose my hands and gave it all.

I was listening to my Funky Time play list this morning. The song Party in the USA by Barden Bellas (Miley Cyrus cover) came on.

“So I put my hands up
They’re playing my song, the butterflies fly away
I’m noddin’ my head like, ‘yeah’
I’m movin’ my hips like, ‘yeah’
I got my hands up, they’re playing my song”

 It dawned on me how often I would do that when a song came on that moved me. We see people doing it at concerts, in the car on our drive to work, but how often do we see people lifting their hands because they are moved by the Holy Spirit? We must to praise God more then we do our favorite songs.

“So I put my hands up

Gods moving in my heart like now,

I’m waving my hands like yeah

Bobbin my head like yeah,

I’ve got my hands up, cuz Jesus died for my soul.”

 

Praise God with your whole body. Dance for the Lord, Sing for the Lord, Praise to the Lord. 2 Samuel 6:14 “And David danced before the LORD with all his might; and David wasgirded with a linen ephod.”

 

 

The Lonely Tree

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The Lonely Tree

 The tree stands in the middle of the forest. It’s not the biggest or the tallest, but it’s still a good tree. It’s surrounded by the forest on all sides, with some of the biggest, prettiest trees. This tree isn’t special or unique in any way. There’s nothing that makes this tree stand out in the greatness and wonders of the beauty it’s surrounded by. This tree like many others survived from a seedling, to the tree it is today. The tree flows in the wind, the leaves rustle just a bit. The branches are sturdy as are the roots. Birds come and go but pay the tree no mind. The occasional squirrel plays to and fro the branches, but sadly the tree has no hope to make friends with the squirrels or the birds. Along come the spiders that only use the tree, expect the tree to not mind the silky webs being strewn about in any manor the spiders want.

The tree wonders to itself why couldn’t I grow in a nice back yard someplace? Someplace where a couple kids would climb, and laugh, have a swing, or a glorious tree house to invite their friends over to play. Then the tree would stand out and be important. The kids would love that tree, and there they would create memories of the tree that they would have forever. Surrounded by other trees this tree is lonely. What can this tree do to feel better?

The Tree grows day after day, bigger and bigger it reaches for the sky. For years this tree stands in the forest questioning it’s existence. “Why am I here Lord?” the tree asks. “I have a plan for you, but be patient.” God said in return. So the lonely tree continued to host the spiders, the squirrels, the occasional birds and waited as God commanded.

Several more years had passed and the tree felt even more alone and out of place. The tree can’t believe there is no purpose. The day came when there was much commotion in the forest. Men flooded the forest with large pieces of equipment. “God I’m scared” said the tree. “You’ve been faithful to your own understanding. You’ve been home too many and you’ve lived a long life. You’ve given yourself to a cause and you’ve been patient, and for that you will give back in ways you can only dream of.” “I don’t understand what you mean God.” Responded the tree. “Trust in me, have faith, and you will.” God reassured the tree. “All I’ve ever wanted to be was special.” Said the tree. “You will be more special then you could ever imagine.” Replied God.

In the following days the men with the equipment were cutting down other trees. The day came when the men started to cut down the old tree. “I’m scared.” Said the tree. “My child, just as men, there’s a plan for all my creation. You will help reach almost a hundred people. My darling tree you are destined to be used to print Bibles. You will be made into Bibles that will be sent all over the world. Your sacrifice, your purpose will create nearly 100 Bibles. Those Bibles will touch the lives of almost 100 people and offer an opportunity for my children to know me.” “I am honored to give back my Lord.” Said the tree. “You’ve never been alone, and you never will be alone.” Replied God.

No mater what we think of our lives, we don’t know what God will plan for us. We don’t know our usefulness. What we do know is when we give the Glory to God, when we give faithfully, we will be given in return. Proverbs 28:20 “A faithful man will abound with blessings, but whoever hastens to be rich will not go unpunished.” And finally Luke 16:10 “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.” As the tree was faithful for all those years and all it wanted was to be useful, to be bigger then what it was. The tree’s prayers would be answered after a lifetime of waiting. Sometimes God will say No because it’s not the right time, or it’s not what’s good for us. You don’t have to be the biggest, or strongest, fastest or smartest in order for God to use you. You only need to be willing to be a servant for God and you shall be blessed for it. No matter whom you are or how you think you don’t fit in, you will always fit in, in Gods kingdom.

Set Sail

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Set Sail

When the wind is right and the waters are up for change, that’s when it’s time to raise your sail and head off for new horizons. With your compass to the ready let the winds take and guide you. Change can be a great thing filled with new adventure. It can be hard to expect good things when the change is unexpected. How do we know what star to sail by? How do we know when it’s time to set forth the sail and let the wind guide you? When life changes and it doesn’t feel like home anymore, when you feel like the wind has turned against you and your fighting the head wind, it’s time to set a new course. John 3:8 “The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.” It is that Holy Spirit that can guide you in the changing of the winds. The foundation to which we must forge our faith, our temperament, our adventures must be set in stone of the Father. Matthew 7:25 “And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock.”

No matter where the winds take us hold your foundation, know where your northern star is and no matter the pleasant wind, or the winds of storms, you will always find your way. Let God guide you and have faith to sail into the horizon and the wind of God shall take you where you’re supposed to go. Have faith in your own faith, have faith in God and with the wind at your back you will be taken to where you need to go.

It can be a scary thing to venture out on your own, alone. Imagine the first of the Apollo mission that set ‘sail’ for the moon. With every adventure there are set backs. Apollo 1 had the fire on the launch pad. Apollo 13 had an O2 canister explode on route to the moon. The Challenger exploded just after launch, and the Columbia exploded in reentry, all of these tragedies could have changed our space program, we could have canceled the space program but it didn’t. We didn’t let the winds of resistance slow us down, so we cannot tuck tail and run when things get hard for us either. The NX-01 Enterprise in the Star Trek Universe was the first warp 5 ship in the fleet and was making history with every light year. Don’t let fear force you to alter course. Batten down the hatches and hold on to the rail when things get rocky. We may not always be prepared for everything that comes, but overcome and adapt. Keep the faith and keep your heading.

Love, Not Hate

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Love, Not Hate

Gods blessings are not always what we think they should be, or want them to be. God knows what’s best for us, and sometimes we should be thankful for unanswered prayers. We must put our faith and trust in the Lord. Sometimes we loose our way, sometimes we make poor or dangerous decisions, the truest of all truths is Gods amazing grace, Gods love, our light and our Salvation, is sometimes just one divinely inspired act, or sometimes, a Miracle that truly puts a stopper in death, brings us back, and gives us a new chance, a second chance at life. We cannot waist the gifts God has blessed us with. We cannot forget who’s in control. We must learn to love not hate, learn to forgive not be angry, and know that Gods love is not a feeling, but a commitment he has promised to us, and for those who we love, we must honor and cherish our love and commitment to our brothers and sisters in Christ. The Sun rises as the new day pushes the old away. Such as a new day, bring new resolve to push away the sins of old, and forgive as the new day rises.

To Find Where I Belong!

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To find where I belong!

Wandering aimlessly through the voidless desert of the hustle and bustle but to you it’s full of emptiness. Where do I belong, something’s wrong with the world, or is something wrong with me? God doesn’t make mistakes so this has to be right. Me being here is by a greater design that I don’t have clearance to see the whole plan. Fear engulfed emotions run wild. Dreaming of a place where I would find a warm welcome, a place to call home. Where can I plant my flag and finally find peace and rest in life. The constant barrage of cannon fire from the Deceiver has left me cowering for cover for too long.

A day will come when I’ll be on my way. I’ll be strong and this suffering will be a faded memory, and a scar to remind me of what I’m capable of. With God I can overcome anything. The first step is looking deep inside yourself. Start any new journey with the self-check. Be the man, the woman Jesus wants you to be.

Sometimes where you are or where you thought you were supposed to be was only temporary. The way the world can change in less then a heartbeat is powerful and scary at the same time. What does it mean to have faith? To trust in something beyond our control. To trust in the plan even when we can’t see it. To step out of your comfort zone and onto the stormy waters no mater the lies being whispered to you. The voice of God, Jesus will never leave you alone in the dark. For the Glory, the journey begins.

The walking sticks to help your trek made easier, the pack you carry to prepare for life’s challenges is no different the filling that canteen with the Holy Spirit. We may not be where we belong but that doesn’t mean we aren’t headed there. As long as you keep fighting and never give up, the lessons learned along the way will be forever useful. On the dangerous journey of life pass on the struggles, pass on the hardships, be a leader and a roll model for others struggling on their road. Be a guiding light, let people see Christ in you. There may be pain but there is grace also. The darkest sky can be darker. The waters could be higher. The tests could be harder. When we quiet ourselves and take a moment to educate ourselves on what’s going on in our world we can see worse everyday. We can always look out our cloudy window and see the more disenfranchised, the homeless, the countries with less then the least have here. Those who suffer from illness and poverty and those who have tragedy and more importantly those who parish not knowing the Lord.

This may not be where I belong but I know that God is in control. I know that God is on my side. I may not belong but my battle isn’t over. I will find my way if I am calm and listen. I will not be alone and I will find a love that will love God and me. I have faith in the Lord that I will not be forsaken. I will not be forgotten in the billions on this planet.

There is none like you oh Lord. You’ve created all, you’ve saved us all. We are so imperfect and yet so loved. We turn our backs, we don’t believe, we curse you, and still we have your grace. You oh God believe in me even when I don’t believe in myself. You see my importance, my worth even when others don’t. My God to you goes all the glory. I stumbled along the way but you kissed my boo boos and made it okay. You brushed me off and helped me up. Even without an earthly Father I had you, the greatest of all the Fathers anyone can hope for.

I am weak, I am a sinner and even when punished for my sins for my wrong doing I am forgiven and Loved endlessly. God’s on the move in every way, in every life even if they don’t see it. Be not afraid of what we don’t know because Gods not dead and we will live. The perfect lamb sacrificed for all of us so we may live without fear, and live to the glory of the one true King. We are free and we have a choice how to use that freedom. I have been wounded, hated, beaten and betrayed but I know the love that matters.

No I may not be home, I may be moving forward to a future unseen, a blind destiny, but I will take the leap of faith and I know God will catch me.

Hallelujah my God saves me

Hallelujah my God looks after me

Hallelujah my God never forsakes me

Hallelujah my God loves me

Hallelujah my God protects me

Hallelujah my God forgives me

Hallelujah my God died for me so I may live!

There’s no need for that

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There’s no need for that

We never know how long someone’s a major part of our lives. We never know when things will drive a wedge and crumble. Smile and say goodbye. That’s about all we can do. People come and go and we don’t know why. We don’t know the roll they will play but for every trumpet solo another ensemble will pop up and take the new lead. Have faith and pray for them. Do not be mad or dismayed. It hurts for sure, but life keeps going, and it all works out according to Gods plan.

Sometimes we can make a life changing decision without thought of the consequences. The sad truth is sometimes we can feel so lost, so distraught, so alone, even if it’s just in our own minds, for some it’s near impossible to know the road that leads up to someone who’s either attempted or succeeded in suicide. Some consider suicide a coward’s way out. While I couldn’t disagree more, I know from personal experience how traumatic the experience is for everyone involved. There is a sense of betrayal and selfish thoughts that come from the ones left behind. I myself have both lost loved ones, and have almost lost loved ones. While suicide isn’t as simple as cowardice or weak, the truth is slightly different and as there is research upon research for suicide, one common theme is seen. “In general, people do not commit suicide because they are in pain, they commit suicide because they don’t believe there is a reason to live and the world will be better off without them. “ (PsychologyToday.com) Of course it’s not always as simple as a common road map. “By dealing with deep distress and emotional pain by harming yourself with acts such as cutting, burning, sticking objects in your skin, or intentionally preventing wounds from healing, you are becoming increasingly capable of suicide.” Just because there is not or has not been past evidence of harm, doesn’t mean that enough buried pain, enough buried guilt, and sorrow, can’t be enough to have someone take their own life, or inflict extreme harm upon one’s self.

Most people have a fight or flight response, a natural inclination for self-preservation. If life offers so much pain, so much suffering, so much despair to override a basic biological urge to preserve ones self from harm or death, why then is it so hard for people to realize the courage it takes, the passion it takes to do such things to ones self. No, when someone is feeling that much despair the thoughts of loved ones, consider how they would feel if you were gone, is not usually a thought, thought of. Quite honestly often times when someone kills himself or herself they believe they are doing the world a favor. Sometimes the act is brought on so quickly no warning signs are present.

Does this mean someone’s anger gives them right to do whatever they want to the victim of self-harm? Why do people recoil instead of showering the victim in love? Why do people choose to hate or anger over love? Instead of asking ‘how could you leave me?’ ask instead ‘why did you feel so alone and hopeless?’ When someone attempts self-harm it isn’t about narcissism. Sometimes when a person has a long history of bullying, quick and sudden relationship changes, traumatic experiences, loneliness, eating disorders, existential crisis, and more, can be reasons someone who undergoes an unexpected trauma can attempt self-harm.

We should not judge to harshly about those who suffer. Instead follow the teachings of Christ, to love. People who are going through enough pain and suffering need a loving embrace more so then most. The battle does not end when the victim is released from the hospital. The battle continues and can be a long-term continuation of care. A person who looses enough self respect to loose logic, and life needs to be held and loved, not treated with anger and hatred.

There is already too much hatred in this world. People are so quick to use foul language, quick to cause pain on people around us. It is often easier to let anger and loathing dictate our emotions when some emotions are already heightened. When we are stressed and aggravated why are some so easily provoked?

Yesterday while I work, I witnessed a coworker trying to be nice, and helpful, courteous and understanding and all he got in return was distain and swear words. Sadly it came from both a mother and her teenage daughter. So many other parents noted how well my colleague handled the situation and all who witnessed told me about how well he did and had nothing but high praise. Something so simple, something so simple yet others seem to have a hard time with it, nice, kindness, these things almost seem like a distant memory.

Sadly in my own life I’ve witnessed more hatred in others then I’d care to admit for this world. Recent events in my life point me to the Book of Job. A man who looses everything in his life, his wife, children, home, wealth, his own health, all taken from him. The thing that surprised me most about it was how his friends treated him. I never put much stock in that part until it happened to me. Through the trials I’ve been through, and the unfortunate ‘drama’ as of late, I always figured I could count on my friends. As we all do, mistakes were made on my part, but I never once thought a friend would use that as the catalyst to blame me for all of my ongoing pains in my life. My unfortunate circumstance is why that friend distanced themselves from me, because they didn’t want or need it in their life. A friend who isn’t directly involved decided to be more of a conditional friend to me. When the times get tough, call me later. As the conversation progressed I learned the sad truth, that friend holds a lot of anger towards me because of something that happened 8 months ago. It’s a sad day when you must say goodbye, when it’s best for all parties to bid adieu.

We all make mistakes in our life and some of them are big enough to haunt us the rest of our days. Let me tell you this, if a friend can’t see the pain inside you, can’t see how much suffering you’re in, it’s because they don’t want to. If a friend can’t forgive you for a mistake, something that would have changed the course of a life, it’s a sad day. You may loose friends because of these types of days, but God will never leave or forsake you.

One Step Away by: Casting Crowns

 

What if you could go back and relive one day of your life all over again

And unmake the mistake that left you a million miles away

From the you, you once knew

Now yesterday’s shame keeps saying that you’ll never get back on track

But what if I told you

You’re one step away from surrender

One step away from coming home, coming home

One step from arms wide open

His love has never let you go

You’re not alone

You’re one step away

 

You’re never too far-gone, never alone if you just lay down the old chains and pick up the cross and follow Christ. Don’t think for one second you’re alone. No matter what there are people who can help you. There are so many crisis lines, so many organizations who want to help. If you’re low and thinking about suicide or self harm pick up the phone. If you’re battling depression or anxiety, there are those who know that pain and are always willing to share and talk.

No matter the road you may be on, there’s always hope if that road is full of unhappiness. Don’t loose hope and never quit. God is bigger and better then we could ever hope or imagine. It’s not something that is easy, but with time and practice life gets better. Be proactive and take charge. Shed a life of negativity for one of hope and love. Live by faith, and understand Gods glory.

If you are bullied, picked on, teased, insulted, remember that as much as those things hurt, there’s a way out. Jesus Christ endured all of those things, until he was murdered brutally for us. He suffered torture that could only be described as the worlds hatred and malice in one long excruciating beating that nearly left him dead. He was mocked as he struggled to carry the cross to his final resting place. He was placed on a cross were breathing would be unbearable. He was mocked and yet while this was happening he had the strength to ask God to forgive us. Forgive one another for the things we do. Love one another and don’t keep score of the bad. Just love. Don’t let anger and hatred fill your soul like a cancer. Love and believe. Look to the heavens and see the light shine through the clouds and know the clouds will be burned away and all that’s left is the sun.

 

References:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/curious/201405/why-do-people-kill-themselves-new-warning-signs

http://mentalhealthdaily.com/2014/07/23/15-common-causes-of-suicide-why-do-people-kill-themselves/

The Embrace of God

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The Embrace of God

Have you have felt so lost and afraid you didn’t know where to turn or what to do next? The last 8 months of my life have been filled with plenty of those days. Thankfully for me there is plenty of scripture to help those in need. Isaiah 50:44 “The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary: he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned.” There have been many players who’ve been important to continue to carry on the plot in our great story. There have been particular people along the way who’ve had a special relationship with God in order to give us the tools to reach salvation, the final stage in our story. Although God has been angry with humanity in the past, today, the covenant hold true. Psalm 86:15 “But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” It’s the love of God that gives us our comfort. Psalm 33:22 “May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you.” No matter how big or small a mistake we make, God will always be with us, because there is always hope that before our last breath we can give our lives to the Lord. Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

When you need that proverbial hug from the big guy upstairs, may I suggest, Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” And John 16:33 “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

 Some day’s scripture may not provide the comfort we’d like or hope for, but never the less, I guarantee it would be better to have it then the alternative to not. When I was in Paris I fell in love with a particular sculpture Cupid and Psyche’s Embrace, or sometimes called Psyche Revived by Cupid’s Kiss. Although this is from Roman mythology it always reminds me of the sweet tender nature of the one true God.

We may not always feel as if God is there with us, but fear not God isn’t going anywhere. James 1:2 “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,” No matter how weary and low we get know that God will always be at the ready and by our side. Isaiah 40:28 “Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.” Don’t get me wrong, I often feel weak and low, but that’s when I rely more on my faith to get me through. When my faith is low and I don’t feel like I can carry my own cross anymore, there’s only one thing I can do. I listen to

Lean On Me.

 Sometimes in our lives we all have pain

We all have sorrow

But if we are wise

We know that there’s always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you’re not strong

And I’ll be your friend

I’ll help you carry on

For it won’t be long

‘Til I’m gonna need

Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride

If I have faith you need to borrow

For no one can fill those of your needs

That you won’t let show

You just call on me brother, when you need a hand

We all need somebody to lean on

I just might have a problem that you’ll understand

We all need somebody to lean on

 As Great as this is when referring to a friend, think of it more if God is that friend to lean on. God will always be there to lighten our load. We can’t get help if we don’t ask. God will always put someone in our life for us to lean on. We just need to look in the right place.

Empty shell (Behind The Mask)

thearrowpreacher7 Comments

Empty shell (Behind the mask) 

I hate the way I feel, I hate the way that the world doesn’t quite seem as bright and shiny as it once used to. I hate that now I feel like something’s been taken away from me and I question if I’m ever going to get that back. I hate the way you’re happy at least on the surface. I hate what I’ve lost in myself. I hate that I’ve lost the reassurance that the world itself wasn’t such a horrible place. I hate the fact that I’m alone or at least on the surface feel alone. I hate that I feel lost. It feels like my world is crumbling around me and I hate the way I have memories for something, that I’ll never have again. I hate the feeling that I failed and I question if I’ll ever succeed again. I question how long I have to wait before my test is over. I question where I’m going to live, what I’m going do. I question the questions and if they are even appropriate to ask. What made it so bad that made it so hard to stay with me. I question what I did that was so bad that you could hurt someone to the point you’ve hurt me. I feel like you have to shell that’s been cracked and can’t be put back together again. I feel like all the joy that I had has been torn away and replaced with sadness and sorrow, shame, guilt and regret. I feel hallow like I don’t feel real. I feel like an old toy, thrown away when it’s been out grown. I feel sorrow. I feel abused.

God feels so far away. I know the teacher doesn’t interfere during the test, but I feel so abandoned. I know the faith it takes, I know the love that’s there for me, from God and from my friends but I don’t feel it right now. I poured everything I had, everything I was, but too little too late. I have been good and bad, and I know that one day this storm will pass and I will look back and know that faith got me through. Faith doesn’t mean you won’t hurt, doesn’t mean you won’t have negative feelings, it doesn’t mean you can’t and won’t be heart broken, but that when the storm comes you’re ready for it. There’s no time limit on how long you’ll be in the storm. No rules as to how much can be taken from you. No promise to an easy life. The only promise is to be loved by God, and that God will never abandon you.

John Blake: “Not a lot of people know what it feels like to be angry, in your bones. I mean, they understand, foster parents, everybody understands, for awhile. Then they want the angry little kid to do something he knows he can’t do, move on. So after awhile they stop understanding. They send the angry kid to a boys home. I figured it out too late. You gotta learn to hide the anger, practice smiling in the mirror. It’s like putting on a mask.”

2 Corinthians 4:8-11 “8 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; 10 Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. 11 For we which live are always delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.”

 Everyday is a battle after heartbreak. Everyday is a baby step forward, and although there may be good days, excellent days, there can also be days where it feels you’ve been knocked back 10 steps. The healing process for me hasn’t been an easy one. The days that have ticked by seconds as minutes, minutes as hours, and what hours seemed like days, those are the days when the mind can play cruel tricks on you. The healing process of heartbreak, of loss, of betrayal can be helped or hindered by many factors. A healthy job, a healthy social life, and eventually a healthy dating life can all assist in the therapeutic repair. Sadly things don’t always go according to our own plan. We may not understand and can have a hard time accepting why so many things can hurt us when all we want to do is heal, move forward, feel better. The truth is, the world may judge you on how you handle a major tragedy in your life. Just as Blake stated sometimes you just have to put on that mask. The world isn’t whom you have to get to accept you, it’s Christ. When you know in your heart that even if you aren’t healing as fast or as well as your friends or family would like, are you doing everything you can to live your life according to scripture? As I never claim to be an expert, I don’t recall ever seeing anything that gives a timeline to grief, or sorrow. We may not always have the friends and family readily available as often as we’d like to spend time with, to go out with and socialize with, but what matters is when times are toughest know they are there for you.

I have been blessed with the best Church family anyone could ever ask or hope for. Through everything I’ve endured they have been there for me. They have held me when I’ve cried, picked me up when I was injured, helped me financially when I couldn’t work, and have provided the most moral, and Godly support any man could ever dream of having.

I have some of the best friends a man could hope for. They’ve rallied to my bedside when I was hurt, and have also helped me financially when times got tough. They are spread thin throughout the entire country, and although this means I don’t have a budding, effective social life to get me out of the house as much as I should, I know they are always there.

God will answer my prayers when the time is right. The time isn’t when I think it should be, but when it needs to be. Having faith that the faithful will be rewarded and blessed in this life according to our demeanor of deserving it. We cannot be given a gift we are not ready for. We cannot be given blessings we would most certainly abuse. We may not always know why we have unanswered prayers, but we must remain faithful that it’s just not according to the plan.

As empty as I have felt the last few weeks, I know that great things are coming even if I can not see them just yet. All my years in theater I understand what the crowd sees on stage is only a fraction of what’s going on during the play. The hard work, the majority of the work is being done off stage, what can’t be seen. We don’t know what God is doing behind the scenes, preparing for our futures, that’s the hard part about patience.

In short I leave you this final quote of my own making. “The beauty about being an empty shell is that it means it’s completely open for it to be refilled with something new.”