Tag: faith

The Improvised

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The improvised 
Sitting here in the ER alone as I’ve sent mom home to rest, gather supplies, and get ready for the long day, I find myself pondering what I guess most people ponder when looking at a life altering surgery. Who are my loved ones, who cares who doesn’t? Is my Will complete and dang did I leave the stove on? I am reminded of so many one liners but I’ll spare all of you the boring repartee and just know that I haven’t forgotten about my avid readers. I may be out for the day, but as long as I have a phone I’ll still work my guru magic and post something. 
While I was here I was able to doodle a little something and while it’s not finished because as you’ll all see I’m no artist, I haven’t lost sight of my goal. I will continue to work on my ministries and with Gods grace continue to touch lives. So as I get ready for what looks so far to be surgery, back surgery it is. While the surgeons are deliberating and I’m going on almost 24 hours awake, I’m reminded of some bible verses. 
1 Peter 1:6-7 “6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: 7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:”
Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.”
We may have setback and we may have plans that go off the rails but even in the darkest of days the brightest of flowers may still bloom. 

Walking Judgments

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Walking Judgments 7-2-17

As I walk through my building with mud from my boots to my knees I am filled with so many negative judgments of myself. I get the impression the people in the building are staring at me. I imagine what they are thinking, and envision the thoughts of disgust and jokes. I felt insecure and embarrassed by my appearance. The more I walked through the building a second judgment started to creep into my mind. No one noticed, I think to myself. Was that true? Had no one noticed in 7 floors did no one notice my dreadful appearance? Then I try to imagine which one was worse, that fact those who did probably passed negative judgments, or that I am so insignificant at my job that no one would notice at all.

Bad judgments all around swirl in an out of thought with little regard of a purpose. It’s hard going through life always casting judgments around like a snow blizzard falling to the ground. We try and try to squish the uprising before they reach the surface, but always too little too late.

Checking The Facts:

 

  1. I was involved with the rescue of a man who was ejected from his vehicle.
  2. Without going home I was already doing to be 20 minutes late for work
  3. I did a good thing by stopping and helping.
  4. Negative judgments happen and we can’t always change that.

It’s hard to face when we think those thoughts and feelings control our day. The truth is, we often give away so much power to others, and we keep very little for ourselves. The pain we hold onto deep inside is often the reason we give up so much, and allow so much negativity to infect or infest our lives.

Are our biggest self-judgments linked to our biggest fear? I believe the answer is yes. For example my biggest fear is abandonment. When I am dating someone I feel I will not be good enough and they will leave. When I’m working I fear I won’t be good enough at my job, or not be needed at my position. The truth is when it comes to both the judgments of others shouldn’t affect me as much as they do. We obviously know the old saying “sticks and stones my break my bones but names will never hurt me.” We know that’s a crock of crap. We know that words do hurt because were human, and we have feelings. We know that bullying does hurt us, that someone we love when they say cruel things often cut the deepest. The key to overcoming that is repetitive action of telling yourself Jesus loves you, and the judgment of God is the most important thing. We cannot live our lives listening to the lies were told by the world.

Today’s society is obsessed by looks, everything on TV is about looking right, makeup, fashion, and as always TV shows must have the most attractive people on the planet. We watch this worldview all around us and it sinks in and when we look in the mirror we don’t see that perfect image. I myself have struggled with my limitations and even recently as I’ve tried to get back into the dating world, I see myself as a failure. It’s a tough pill to swallow and when it seems there’s so much against you it’s hard not to pass judgments upon yourself. I’m not very good at this myself; I’m not good at keeping a positive attitude about myself. I often think negative thoughts about my looks, my voice, my life, and I often think of myself as a failure in my love life and even my professional life. To top it off as more and more of my close friends are becoming parents I look at my own life and as 7 years with my ex wife came to a close and realizing I still don’t have the family I’ve always prayed for, the children I’ve always wanted, I judged myself to be a failure and I truly felt it deep down into my heart. I realize this isn’t Gods plan for me, and I realize the little voice feeding me the negative emotions, the harmful thoughts are Satan whispering in my ear, and it’s incredibly difficult to ignore.

As I confess my deepest fears, my deepest failings, I don’t do so to gather sympathy, but the opposite, to spread hope. As I have been faced with so much in the last year, and throughout my life, I know that God is still on my side, I know that all these years of pain God’s been there in the trenches with me. “I’ve paid my dues, time after time, I’ve done my sentence but committed no crime. And bad mistakes I’ve made a few. I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face but I’ve come through… We are the champions, my friends, and we’ll keep on fighting ‘til the end.” We all know the song, we all know Queen’s ‘We are the Champions’. Let me tell you, as long as we have God on our side, we are the champions of this world, because we will live in Eternity with the creator of all. We will overcome all our trials, our troubles, and we will be dubbed champions over death, if we just allow Christ into our lives. In Christ we will always rise above hate, bigotry, fear, sorrow, loss, and disappointment. We never know what tomorrow will bring. We will always feel the rainbow of emotions, but we will always have help getting through the tough days we WILL have. Have faith in the lord. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understand. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

To the brink and back a survivors story

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To the brink and back a survivors story

A while back a guy I knew was going through a pretty rough time. He was depressed, and he was lonely with the whole world around him. His beautiful wife seemed to be going through a lot on her side of the fence also. See they’d been together for a while and there seemed to be some distance growing between them. He wanted to rush in and fix it, he wanted to be there and close the gap. She wanted space, and distance, and she started to grow attached to someone else. Eventually the affair would occur and he’d be left with trying to pick up the pieces of a broken home. When he realized there may be something deeper going on he decided to stay and fight. He devoted himself to doing things differently, hoping that she’d see the change and stay, but that’s not what happened. She left and with it taking the last bit of dignity he had. The day the gunshot rang out the world as he knew it changed. No hope, no belief that tomorrow would ever be better, he was overwhelmed and something snapped. His fight or flight response shut down and all he could see was his own pain. He wasn’t considering anyone else, or how his actions might affect them, and sadly, his actions would drastically hurt others. He chose the least vital place he could think of to cause pain but not death. He put a 9mm hallow through his shoulder. He knew it wouldn’t hit much because there’s not much there to hit. He was wrong though and the mistake nearly killed him. The bullet chipped his left clavicle when the gun jumped as he pulled the trigger. The bullet changed direction going down through his lung fracturing 3 ribs before going out his back. Ribs 2,3, and 7 each fractured and as the lung collapsed he lost consciousness. The pain he caused the loved ones around him was extensive. His blood loss should have killed him, but in the later weeks as he recovered he would tell the story how he apologized to God and God sent him back. Many people have been skeptical if what he heard and felt was just in his head, but it was strong enough to change who he is to this day.

While he still suffers from the injuries both physical and emotional the ones he’s most concerned with now are the people he hurt. His wife was traumatized by the incident. He told me once that he didn’t think she’d care one way or another. The problem is when we are consumed by our own pain it’s difficult, nay impossible to see or feel the pain from others. We can’t allow pain, and grief, and anger to fill us up to the point of absolute blindness to the people around us who love us and care for us. Even when there are arguments, or disagreements, that doesn’t mean the person hates you, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. No matter the pain we feel we can’t let that push us to do crazy dangerous things. Tomorrow will always come, and it’s better to win the war than the battle. There’s so much anger towards him by his friends for what he did. For a long time he didn’t understand that anger, he felt like he was the victim. The truth is they are both right. In each perspective pain was dealt. Traumas were experienced by those who were there and took care of him lying on the ground bleeding, and friends felt as if he was leaving them all behind to fend for themselves. Suicide is often looked at as a coward’s way out, and to some that perspective may be their truth. We must understand the nature of a vantage point, and learn to see beyond our own ideals, our own feelings, and try to understand the feelings of others. Not to say truth isn’t truth because it is. There are things we must know are true and there’s no debate in that truth. But when there’s a feeling behind a thought we must not allow ourselves to degrade someone because feelings are powerful. We don’t want to inadvertently pass judgment and do more harm because we don’t know why they feel a particular way, what got them to that point.

This is particularly important in a marriage. We may disagree on particular areas but the biggest question is, is the fight worth it? As the old saying goes, learn to pick your battles. If my friend could do one thing it would be take away the pain he caused. He often comes to me for prayers and for forgiveness. Forgiveness is a tricky thing when it comes to forgiving yourself. When we walk through life every day and are reminded of the pain we caused, it’s difficult to forgive ourselves when we know others haven’t forgiven us. The best things we can do is pray, and hope for forgiveness someday. We can never take back our actions, our words, but we can try to be mindful of what we say and do because those things can have lasting repercussions. Self-forgiveness starts with repentance. We can apologize but something big like that, it’s important to show those within your orbit that you truly are sorry for it, and know that you are trying everything you can do to make it better. My friend’s told me time and again how badly he wishes he could go and take back what happened that day. As he starts going down that rabbit hole I remind him often of the song by Casting Crowns, “What if you could go back and relive one day of your life all over again, and unmake the mistake that left you a million miles away from the you, you once knew, now yesterday’s shame keeps saying that you’ll never get back on track.” The truth in that is you’ll never get back to the you, you once knew. You’re never too far gone, but even as you turn around you’ll never be the same. It’s not about being the same, you don’t want to be the same. You want to be stronger, you want to be confident, and embrace your mistakes so you’ll never have to relive them again. God’s always with us no matter how far off track we get, and if you believe that after one step in the right direction the rest of the steps will get easier over time. When you’re walking on that path walking through the fire you burn your old self away. Hard Love by NeedToBreath “It’s not enough to just feel the flame You’ve gotta burn your old self away.” Embrace the fire and allow yourself to undergo the transformation to follow Christ. It’s a hard love but it’s worth it in the end. Give up and fall under God’s grace.

If my friend can come back from such a near death experience and be showered in God’s love, God’s grace and God’s blessings you can to. He turned his life around and everything he’s suffered through he takes none of the credit for his continued survival. Everything he has now he knows came from God, and he knows he wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for Gods grace. He’s got some great opportunities coming up and he’s excited to see how he can use his life, his gifts for Christ. I hope many of you can see the power of Gods grace and love. Let his life and success story be an inspiration to all of you. God Bless.

Make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, Throw away the plan. 

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Make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, Throw away the plan.   6-27-17

 So I realize the title is a little longer then usual today but stay with me. As I recently figured out my new path in life I set the plan, I was getting ready to execute the plan, and before I got to execute it went off the rails and then I had to reevaluate and draw up new plans. This is often how life goes; especially when we try to plan to far in advance. It’s one thing to have goals, it’s another to try to make your own plans and expect God won’t put you on a better path.

We often get lost on the paths that present themselves. We search and search and we never actually get anywhere. Finding the forward momentum when plans keep changing is difficult. Are you the type of person to flake out on plans last minute, or are you the type of person that when plans change you go into freak out mode? We can’t expect life to go the way we think it will. Our minds are far too small to think of every contingency and expect that the odds will always be in our favor. Let me give you a small example.

Recently I knew someone who was going through a rough divorce. There was pain on both sides and despite trying to put things back together it just fell apart more. She was angry with a lot of things, and he was upset at being abandoned by her. Months had gone by and they hadn’t spoken. He was getting ready to move forward with his life and leave town. She was someplace and although he prayed for her every day he figured she was gone forever. Just a few weeks away from his leaving town, she called him with a bombshell of news. News that frankly he reported floored him, not by surprise, but in sorrow for her. He took the time to pray for her, ministered to her, gave her options and bid his farewells while she contemplated his 3 offers.

To this day the situation hasn’t been resolved but he knows that he may have to radically change his plans depending on how this may go for him. The best thing he can do is pray for her, pray for him, and pray that God’s work continues. He prays that she will find peace no matter what decision she makes. He loves her deeply and wants her to be happy. But, he needs to be happy also. Prayers my friend, prayers.

You can see how fast something can change. You never know when someone from your past will show up unannounced, or that car accident, or great uncle Timmy passed and left a million dollars…. Don’t we all wish. There’s something to be said for Chaos theory. Infinite possibilities in an infinite world that looks like pure chaos with an underlying pattern that we don’t usually see. The key is that the plan is there we just can’t see it. God’s much the same. It’s okay to have our goals, our desires, and as long as they match up with God’s plan for us we will generally find a great surplus of blessings.

Luke 14:28-33 “28 For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? 29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ 31 Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? 32 And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. 33 So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.” If we are to have a plan our plan must be well thought out, planned through, and in lined with Gods will. Praying about our plans, asking God for signs to point to the right plans, and expecting that along the way even the best laid plans will likely have surprises along the way. Proverbs 14:8 “The wisdom of the prudent is to discern his way, but the folly of fools is deceiving” We mustn’t be hasty, we must diligently plan and pray for each part of the plan. Proverbs 21:5 “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.” We can only know and plan for so much from what we can see in our tiny little section of the world. James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”

 We won’t always know which way to go but it’s important for us to realize when we don’t. When we finally realize how important that relationship with God is, that relationship with good Godly brothers and sisters, and we know how to and when to ask for Godly counsel, that’s when we will finally see a change. When we listen and obey God we will be blessed for it. Even when we go through hardships and trials, and traumas, how we choose to handle each of those situations will also lead us to be judged by Abba. Our father loves us and will let us fall on our faces if we are stubborn. God will let you continue to fall on your face. He’ll let you stick your finger in the light socket, but when it goes badly God’s not above saying I told you so. God will always be there and when you’re ready to stop doing it your way and find a new way God will still be there. Just remember, when we don’t listen to God, eventually God will yell to get our attention, and we usually won’t like the outcome. We have to understand that sometimes God will not allow our plan to continue because of some reason and we don’t need to understand why, we just need to accept it and instead of throwing a temper tantrum, we just need to move on.

Think about it this way. You’re getting ready for work, and you head out to your car and overnight a tree has fallen in the driveway and you can’t get out. You miss a huge meeting at work, and maybe even a promotion. You go inside to make a call to get someone to come remove the tree. An hour goes by and you turn on the news. There’s a 25-car pileup due to fog, and 10 people are seriously hurt, 4 have died. The location is the same highway you travel, at the same time you’d be traveling through that section. Was the tree preventing you from a meeting, or was it preventing you from getting hurt or worse? There’s truly no way of knowing how each setback is for our benefit, but if we consider this example we might be a little less likely to rush to frustration when the ‘plan’ flies off the rails. There’s nothing wrong with making Godly plans, there’s nothing wrong with working towards a goal of something we desire, so long as it aligns with following God. Just remember if God so deems one of these will happen to you. “Make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, Throw away the plan.” Lenard Snart

 

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Is That Really Necessary?

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Is That Really Necessary?

So recently my life was thrown a curveball that I truly wasn’t expecting. I looked at the situation, and I used wise mind as I attempted to put my emotions down for a moment to make a solid Godly decision. Just when I thought my life was moving in a particular direction it’s like I am running towards the finish line, and all of a sudden a zombie pops up and chases me around for a bit. It’s funny and terrifying. I recently came to the conclusion I don’t know who I am. In the last 8 months I’ve started to grow some plants, I’ve started doing small crafts, I move to pray for someone as my first go-to, I step back from my situations and pray before making any big decisions, and I am learning to accept and let go of what I have no control over.

When we want to play the white knight we have to realize sometimes we just can’t. No matter what we do we have to make sure we stay right with the Big Guy Upstairs. We can’t always be the heroes. We need to understand our place and understand that sometimes we have to say ‘Go ahead and stick your finger in that light socket, you won’t like it.” I think God does that to us sometimes. We get warning after warning about what not to do and eventually God says, “fine have it your way, but don’t cry to me when this doesn’t go well.” Abba truly tries hard to keep us on the right path, but we’re stubborn. We want it our way, our time, and we don’t care what we have to do to get our Whopper our way.

I understand that we don’t always see the puzzle past the single piece in front of us, but when the puzzle we’re working on gets thrown out for a brand new puzzle it seems a little unnecessary. I realize that God has a sense of humor, but still, the curveballs just make it difficult sometimes. I think about David when he faced Goliath. Here’s a Sheppard boy who probably played with that sling a whole bunch for years. He probably had little to no training with his Sword, but that stone. Much like Luke Skywalker “I used to bullsey womp rats in my T-16 back home. They’re not bigger than two meters.” If you’re David are you looking to God and asking, “Really? This is all I get, just this tiny little rock? Do you see that guy? Are you sure about this? Alright, alright, the rock it is…” David had faith that even though it seemed weird, it seemed far-fetched, it may not have made sense, the key is to trust God even if we don’t see the picture in the puzzle. We must have faith that even the strange things that come and go from our life that we know God is working the band like a perfect conductor of the most beautiful symphony ever written.

We ask God if what we go through is necessary, but we already know the answer and that’s if it’s strange and out of the blue and not of our own doing, then the answer is yes, it’s important. We may be put through trials brought forth by the free will of others, but it’s all part of the great circle of life and we as Christians must always keep the faith. Galatians 5:1 “Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.” We were made free from bondage to no longer be slaves to eternal damnation, but instead free to make our choice, free to follow or not. We are free to embrace our gifts or throw them away. Remember that the Lord Giveth, and the Lord Shall Taketh Away. Even in the strangest of times, the darkest of days, Life and Love can always find a way.

 

Don’t Be A Fair Weather Fan

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Don’t Be A Fair Weather Fan

We have all heard of the phrase fair weather fan. We realize that the term usually refers to sports of some kind, and always referring to sports where the team has a long streak of bad seasons and yet as soon as they turn around fans come out of the woods to cheer them on. But the moment the team goes south again the fans start to drop away. This behavior isn’t new and there is actually scripture to prove it.

As good Christians we are taught to follow God and to trust in God through every good day and bad. The truth is more Christians are like fair weather fans than devout followers of Christ. We look to God like a cosmic genie and only when things are going good do we look like good Christians. Sometimes when things go bad as long as it’s not “too” bad we treat God like Santa Claus saying “God if you get me outta this I’ll never do _________ again.” Of course they are usually empty promises. The truth is as long as the getting is good it’s easy to have faith, but when the day the troubles come we want the easy quick fix to make it better and when that doesn’t come we curse to the heavens stating how God’s forgotten us, or even worse that God never existed after all. Just like supporting your sport team when the are doing really well, but switching sides in the off years when things didn’t look so hot.

John 6:60-66 “60 When many of his disciples heard it, they said, “This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?” 61 But Jesus, knowing in himself that his disciples were grumbling about this, said to them, “Do you take offense at this? 62 Then what if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before? 63 It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. 64 But there are some of you who do not believe.” (For Jesus knew from the beginning who those were who did not believe, and who it was who would betray him.) 65 And he said, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father.” 66 After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him.” A little back-story for this longer verse is needed. Earlier in scripture Jesus had made sure to feed the great number of followers he had. After he crossed the lake and his disciples found him on the other side they wanted to go work for more food. This is when the nature of being a fair weather fan comes in. While the bellies were full everyone was happy, why not, they were getting free food, but when the message changed and it was no longer about getting the good stuff and easting some guys flesh and drinking his blood, a great many of them missed the point and in disgust decided to make like a tree and split. Jesus knew that in their hearts they didn’t believe and they didn’t truly follow. Knowing all these people would leave He Tested their faith anyway.

It’s easy for us to pass blame for the suffering of other; it’s easy for us to be angry at something bigger than us. Once we do that it makes the pain more manageable for some. Blame God, God’s the one who allowed this to happen. If God were so powerful then why would I be allowed to suffer like this? If we truly understood the nature of God, if we truly understand why bad things happen, and the true blame behind them, then we wouldn’t be so quick to flee from God’s side and remain loyal. Isn’t that a problem in today’s world though, loyalty? How quickly do marriages fall apart when it gets just a little rocky? We’ve become a fast food society that anything more than 5 minutes is unacceptable and we want to talk to the manager for lousy service. The problem with that is, the true manager is God, and we treat God like the guy at the check out counter.

God is with us every step of the way in our lives and by with us, I mean God endures each of our hardships we endure. God sacrificed ‘himself’ on the alter of self-sacrifice and we have the audacity to blame God when we stub our toe. Now I’m not saying that some problems are truly deep hurtful problems, but God is not the architect of bad days. 2 Thessalonians 2:7 “For the mystery of lawlessness is already at work. Only he who now restrains it will do so until he is out of the way.” Satan is the giver of all things evil. Satan was there the day evil entered the world, and will remain till the day God decides the time is right to vanquish evil from existence. Isn’t it better to stand with God in the fire, rather than stand apart and still be in the fire? Bad things will happen no matter what, and it’s a choice we must make as to where we want to be. The world is full of evil and yes God does allow it to happen, but sometimes we just need to let our kids learn life’s lessons the hard way. Sometimes horrible tragedies occur but that doesn’t mean that some good can’t come out of it. The key is knowing that God’s always working behind the scenes and those who are faithful will be rewarded for that faith.

“Moral evil is the immorality and pain and suffering and tragedy that come because we choose to be selfish, arrogant, uncaring, hateful and abusive.” Romans 3:23 says “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Andy Rau, Bible Gateway) The author of this blog entry touches on the Aurora movie theater shooting. The question was asked why them, why did so many have to die that fateful night, and the simple answer is because one man choose to do something evil. One person chooses to bring death to innocent people and the simple answer is Evil exists because of Satan. The Devil has been prowling around and causing problems since Adam and Eve. We don’t know why God has continued to allow this, but Jesus spoke clearly on pain and suffering, John 16:33, “You will have suffering in this world.” Jesus didn’t use the word might he was always very accurate in his choice of words. Will have suffering, and it’s our choice if we want to embrace our test and persevere, or if we want to struggle and fail. We may not always pass every test, or come out smelling like roses on the other side, but we have a choice to follow God and trust in God with everything we are, or we can come and go, treating God like a genie who is there for our own personal uses and amusement, though I promise you, if you believe God to be there for you because you feel you’ve earned it in some way, you’ve got another thing coming. Your sins are no more or less than those who drove the nails into the hands and feet of Jesus. You mine as well done it your self because we aren’t any more or less worthy of forgiveness then they were. We are not the judge and jury, and we don’t have the ability to know or see the whole picture. We are but tiny little insects in the grand scheme and because of that, we don’t deserve Gods grace or forgiveness yet we have it anyway. We should be humbled by our gifts, learn to find the good through the muck of the bad and focus on the blessings rather than the curse. Don’t flip flop sides when it’s convenient, search your heart and know that being on the side of Christ is the only side to truly choose from.

God,

Please forgive my sins and my arrogant presumptions of what life should be like,

Please allow me but a moment to see through your eyes and know that my troubles will be short, but if they are long give me your patience to wait them out. Give me your strength to persevere with you by my side.

Please give me the heart of loyalty that even when the times get the worst I can turn to you and know you are there waiting for me.

Lord please show me the blessings that I cannot see through the blinding of this storm.

Lord please grant me the wisdom to be there for others who are in need of a friend to help bare their cross, and help them see the good that’s still within this world.

Above all Lord, thank you for being by my side when the world is not, and thank you for walking with me when there is loneliness in my heart, and thank you for never giving up on me, even when I’ve given up on myself.

Amen.

Would You Love Me If I Was Broken?

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Would You Love Me If I Was Broken?

A few days ago I was listening to a song by Matthew West called Broken Things. When I listened to this song I started to wonder why anyone would love me. I started to question my future relationships and question why anyone would want me with my baggage I carry. There’s a line in the song that stuck out to me,

“That it’s never the perfect; it’s always the ones with the scars that You use It’s the rebels and the prodigals; it’s the humble and the weak The misfit heroes You chose Tell me there’s hope for sinners like me”

 If my baggage is heavy then I need to learn to let it go. It’s not about the relationship with another person; it’s about the relationship with God. If you have pain, if you have scars, those are the people God uses the most. If God can use you because you let Him, then it’s only a small step to think you will be blessed for it. If you can use those scars and that bit of baggage to glorify the Father then someone out there will accept you baggage, scars, pain and all. The only truth that should remain is through God all things are possible. The God of peace and love loves us even when we are bent and broken. We can’t be expected to walk through the fire and not get burned. Walking in the life of Christ is burning away our old self and forging a new one. This process is painful and will leave scars, but the scars tell a story. That story is our testimony to how great God is.

You can meet 100 people and in those 100 people you may not find one person that sees you for you but only the pain you carry. We all have our burdens, but when the time is right God will give you someone to help you pick up that cross. God loves us no matter how bent or broken we are, and God will use you just as God uses horrible things for Good. The day of peace will come but not on this world. The world shall pass away and Heavens gates will open to those who followed. I think of dating and looking for that person to complete us like Thomas Edison’s comment on the first incandescent light bulb. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

While some people will see your scars and might get scared off because of them, someone, the right someone, will look at your scars and see how you’ve endured despite them. If you’re like the Heath Ledgers Joker and your scars made you absolutely crazy, then perhaps that’s a different topic for a different blog, but if your scars have built you up to be stronger in your faith, given you hope for the future, and taught you valuable lesions to help others around you, those are honorable traits. Even the broken deserve someone to love. Even when the world around you feels like it’s falling down God’s with you always and that’s the love that truly matters. When the time is right God will bless you with someone who would be willing to put in a little work to glue that cup together and will accept Christ above all else. Don’t give up hope, someone out there will love you and accept you even if you are a little rough around the edges. 1 Peter 4:19“Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.” 

“We want to avoid suffering, death, sin, ashes. But we live in a world crushed and broken and torn, a world God Himself visited to redeem. We receive his poured-out life, and being allowed the high privilege of suffering with Him, may then pour ourselves out for others.” ~ Elisabeth Elliot 
“Your most profound and intimate experiences of worship will likely be in your darkest days – when your heart is broken, when you feel abandoned, when your out of options, when the pain is great – and you turn to God alone.” ~ Rick Warren

 You may feel broken, but God loves you just the same. God loves us the scars and all. Have faith and know that God will bless you, for He blesses those who remain faithful. Your days of fire may not be over, just know that even in the fire God’s with you being burned along side you. That’s Love, that’s what our love for one another should be.

 

 

Feeding the Darkness

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Feeding the Darkness 

After a tragedy in your life you may find yourself on a perpetual lope, you’re on repeat playing the same tone over and over again. In that you are holding onto the pain and suffering caused by whatever trauma you’ve endured. What happens when we get stuck? Anger breeds upon itself. Proverbs 29:11 “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.” When we allow ourselves to stay angry we put ourselves inside a fortress and we don’t allow anyone to enter. When we do that we cut off our relationship with anyone who wants to love us to include friends, family, and most importantly God. Ephesians 4:26-27 “26 In your anger do not sin” : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. 29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” This being a longer verse let’s talk about it. When we are angry we often find ourselves unable to make sound judgments. We open the door and everything we have is ripe for the taking when the Devil finds us in a state of suggestibility. The evil whispers in our ear to do things we usually wouldn’t do. I believe the general idea of these verses is telling us to turn that anger into something we can use. Redirect that anger and make good of it, allow ourselves to focus and help others. Build others up instead of tearing down in our anger. Find a way to let go of the bitterness, rage and anger that sit in the pit of our stomachs and spawn more negativity.

When we find ourselves getting angry which is a normal emotion, how we handle it is what’s important. Ecclesiastes 7:9 “9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” We must learn to extend our fuse, make it harder to be provoked to do something harsh. The Devil wants us to fly off the handle because when we do we often hurt those closest to us. This damages the positive relationships we have and thus harming the relationships with God our Father.

 The phrase “Kill um with kindness.” Isn’t just a clever euphemism it’s actually a Biblically derived statement. Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” When others get angry if we find a way to maintain calm, it’s hard for the other person to keep shouting when instead of the reverberation affect, you act as a dampener. It takes two people in the ring to box. Without the opponent you just look silly shadow boxing yourself. Proverbs 15:8 “18 A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.”

 Be the calm in every storm. When we argue with one another and we start to yell, we start to curse, we start to dredge up the past, when we start resorting to name calling and all manner of vial things spew from your mouth, that is feeding the darkness. It’s not just focusing on your own pain, it’s also fueling others pain to grow as well. Often we argue with the ones we love the most and instead of allowing yourself to fall into a cycle of self loathing, self destruction, self gratification, allow yourself to see the error in your own way, and others will see the difference. We cannot change others, but by our own actions we may influence by allowing the Holy Spirit to guide us, to work through us and affect those around us. Anger is contagious, hatred is contagious, but so is love, so is kindness. It’s much harder to love and overcome things that make us upset or the things that hurt us, but we cannot be the judges of that. We cannot be judge, jury, and executioner because we aren’t qualified to do that. All we can do is love, pray, and be a positive influence on those around us. No one wants to be around the Big Green Guy all the time. They want to be around Bruce Banner instead, the mild mannered scientist whose got a good heart. Be the person with the good heart that everyone can see. Don’t let the disease spread through you and your life, learn to let it go. Forgive and Love. Those are the keys to living a happy life.

 

 

 

The Right Place At The Right Time

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The Right Place At The Right Time

This morning I woke up a little before my alarm and decided to get out of bed instead of snoozing a little longer. I got ready and left 20 minutes earlier than normal. I wasn’t more then 10 minutes from the house when I saw headlights in front of me flashing at me. I could see debris in the road and that’s when I saw the car upside down. I pulled over as soon as I could, grabbed my duty belt and ran to the car. The woman who flagged me down was on the phone with 911. I had my flashlight and I started to search for the driver, but they weren’t in the car anymore. I franticly searched the surrounding area and that’s when I saw a man lying on his back in the grass. He was bleeding from him nose, mouth, and several other places of exposed skin. At the time he looked as stable as he could be so I knew not to touch him or move him. You could see he was breathing so that was a good sign. As I realized the 911 dispatcher could get a name using the plate I asked the woman to let me talk to 911. I gave the plate number and that’s when I saw it, in the backseat under the crushed metal of the SUV an infant car seat. My heart fell to the floor as I choked out what I saw to the dispatcher. I handed the phone back to the woman and began looking for a possible infant somewhere in the huge field the car crashed in to.

After a little while of searching the field I returned to the man and found his breathing had changed. He became erratic and it almost sounded like a bit of gurgling coming from his chest. It wouldn’t surprise me if he broke a rib and deflated a lung in the impact. The car from what it looked like impacted about 100 feet away or so against the fence and the embankment and flipped, eventually hitting the fence again in another spot, and flipped once or twice more before impacting the tree where the vehicle settled on it’s roof. The man was roughly 20 feet or so from the vehicle, surprisingly still breathing. The woman and I could hear the sirens now and as the deputy was the first on scene I flagged him down. Within a minute later the ambulance arrived. I left my flashlight on the fence providing light for them to work. As he started to move around a bit, I held is head in place and waited for the paramedics to get all the trauma gear they needed. When they arrived they took over and I went to help the deputies search the field more for the possible injured child.

After 45 minutes on scene the man was long gone as cleanup started. The woman and I waited for the State Troopers to arrive, which sadly didn’t happen before I decided to leave and come to work. I know I was in the right place at the right time, I know that all the mud on my pants and boots tell a story. I know that God placed me right where I needed to be and when. Today I had Gods eyes to see what I needed to, and his Heart so I had the compassion to stop. I had my duty belt with me and I had the gloves, flashlight, everything I needed for the day. God wants us to listen to that little voice in our heads to do something. I left for work 20 minutes earlier than I usually do and now I realize why. Are we listening to the Holy Spirit in our lives? Are we going where we are driven to, listening to that little voice inside us to allow ourselves to be used for the good of Gods will? Galatians 5:25 “If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.” We must listen for the voice, listen for the word. Psalm 25:4-5 “Make me know Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day.” Our souls can catch the fire, the fire rises in us and we are consumed by the Holy Spirit, and we know we are walking with God.

We never know why something happens the way it does, but we know that in all things God’s working for our good even if we can’t see it. Praise God in the greatness of the day, and the sorrowful of the night for we are never alone.

Taking a Chance On Love

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Taking a Chance On Love

Don’t pass judgment based on others because you never know what awaits you just around the corner. When we are hurt we often try to hide ourselves in a little cave afraid to go out into the day because something out there might try to hurt us again. I often hear people say phrases like, “oh I’ll never get married again.” Or “I’ve given up on men all together.” To me this is presumptuous. The Bible does say to Psalms 118:8 “[It is] better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.” However this doesn’t mean we judge everyone based on one persons failings. Later in the book of Jeremiah 17:5 “Thus saith the LORD; Cursed [be] the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.” Don’t misunderstand what the author is talking about. He’s not saying not to trust in man at all. What it’s saying is don’t build your foundation on the faith of man and mankind. Our foundation should be built on Christ. Without that foundation our homes would be washed out to sea when the first storm hits.

Have you ever eaten some place and gotten sick from it? Have you ever cooked something at home and gotten sick? What about going to the store and having a bad experience with one of the employee’s? Do we swear off an entire restaurant chain just because of one bad experience, do we stop shopping at a store just because of one rude employee? What if that employee was just having a really bad day? Or what if the food came to the restaurant tainted and everyone who had that particular meal got sick? We can never know the full story because all we see is one tiny piece of the puzzle and if that puzzle is incomplete we have no business, no right to judge the situation without all the facts.

I personally believe dating is very similar. In dating we put our heart out there on a platter and freely give it up to someone we believe cares for us. Even if they do at the time, people change and people’s motives and desires can lead them to a dark place and those dark places can wind up breaking your heart in the end. Out of roughly 16 billion people on the planet, and estimate half that for the opposite sex to what you are, you cannot within reason say that everyone in that giant lake are bad fish. I have a theory when it comes to dating or marriage that I’ve been wrestling with for a little while now. A friend told me recently that every guy she’s dated have been losers, or they’ve turned into losers by the end and she was tired of being hurt all the time. So, here’s my theory, stop fishing in the same pond. Think about it, we all have types don’t we? We all have a particular type of lady, or man we’re attracted to, but what if that’s the problem all along, what if it’s not the guy or the gale that is the problem. What if we’re the problem? If we continue to fish in the same pond and keep catching the same type of fish, then perhaps it’s time to make the change in ourselves, find within ourselves keeps leading us to the wrong type. We cannot blame the great white for being a blood thirsty hunter, it is what it is, but if we don’t want to catch a great white, don’t fish where they are known to be. If you want fresh water fish don’t fish in the ocean. Sure even some bad fish can come out of anywhere you want to go fishing, but that doesn’t stop, well, shouldn’t stop you from fishing. The only thing you absolutely should do is not stereotype because of a few bad experiences.

Furthermore if someone cheated on you, don’t go into the next relationship full of distrust and suspicion. Each relationship is a fresh start and every person is different. Don’t bring your baggage with you. Leave it buried out back with the other memories of your exes. Have faith each and every day that today can and will be different. When you bring your baggage with you every time you start something new you won’t be able to move forward. You are over encumbered and you are condemning someone else for the mistakes they didn’t make. It isn’t our place to judge so leave that up to the higher power. We often look through our own pain, and that’s like wearing beer goggles, our vision will always be distorted so long as we keep putting our pain up in front of us. So take a chance on love, and let go of the baggage that’s holding you down. That distrust, that anger, that sorrow will only torpedo your new relationship because no one wants to be treated with suspicion and distrust fresh out the gate.