Tag: faith

Cha Cha Cha Changes

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Cha Cha Cha Changes

Well, now I have no idea what I’m going to do. The future looks like it’s going to be changing, and I see that it’s likely I’ll be kind of like that guy in a barrel about to go over the lip of the waterfall at Niagara Falls. Big changes come sometimes, and we aren’t always prepared for them. We don’t always know where the changes will take us, and we can’t always prepare for it. The changes that come raises the pressure, so our lives are someplace between Changes by David Bowie, and Pressure by Queen, “Turn to face the change” and “Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you no man ask for, Under pressure that brings a building down, Splits a family in two, Puts people on streets” Life is full of change, and no matter how much we fight against it we just can’t seem to stop the raging river from doing what it wants. Time is that river of course and all way can do is lay back and enjoy the rapids.

While the future has been in a constant state of change with no set direction, nor has there been any resemblance that things are going to be calming down anytime soon, all I can do is sit back and pray. I am sitting around ready to go at a moments notice like the quick reaction force I used to be in Iraq. With major changes to the plan yet again, I haven’t the slightest clue where I’m going, or what I’m doing. With uncertainty the new catchphrase for my life, I’d say it’s back to the drawing board.

Proverbs 16:1-3 “The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.” We plan what we want, what we think is best, but as our field of view is limited so we will never see the big picture. We must have faith that just because we may not have the slightest clue what we’re doing, God knows. As long as we are living our life in a Godly way, we can have faith that although the future may not be what we have planned, God’s still with us, God’s still on the throne, and we need to remain faithful and patient.

I remember when I was in Iraq we would sit around the house, we’d be cleaning equipment, playing games, watching movies, or catching up on some sleep. We waited around, waiting for the call that there was a mission. When that mission came we were ready within minutes to go into the unknown. We had a direction, but no idea what we were going to face. We responded to anything and everything to include IED’s (improvised explosive devices), suicide bombers, attacks, escorts, incoming fire locations, or outgoing fire locations. We were always flexible to the point some days we’d have several back to back missions, and often skipped meals for them. I don’t know what changed but I feel as if complacency has attacked me in my sleep. As I think back to what I call my glory days, I find myself longing for a time when I felt like I was making a physical difference in others lives. My teammates, my brothers depended on me to do my job. Now no one depends on me for anything. Reeling from the loss my my wife last year I find myself hoping I once again find someone to fill that void left in my life. I feel like I’m ready and I feel as if I’m sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the next mission. I may not know when it’s going to come, but I know I have to be ready at a moments notice. So, here I am, ready for the changes, hopeful for the future, and ready for my next adventure.

 

 

Live by the Tongue, Die by the Tongue

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Live by the Tongue, Die by the Tongue

The little thing we keep in our mouths is a mix between dangerous and amazing. The tongue has the potential to say the sweetest of words, sing beautiful lyrics, site-amazing poems, and express the deepest of love. The flip side is anger, hate, bigotry, and can often sew decent in any situation.

Proverbs 21:23 “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” When we live our life according to Jesus and the Holy Word, we must mind our tongue. When we consider the commandment of Love God above all with all your heart, and then love your neighbor as yourself, we must always remember that once spoken, words can never be recovered. Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” If we are lifting ourselves and other sup to the level Christ wants us to be, we must always lift up and not tear down. It’s not easy always minding the tongue, but it is something we are supposed to do.

When we love one another arguments usually happen. We have a choice however how to deal with those situations when they come up. Proverbs 12:18 “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” We often hurt our loved ones the most and we know just want to say just like plunging a knife in deeply. Why is it so easy for us to hurt the ones we care for? Knowing when to open your mouth and knowing when to keep it shut is a gift of patience and Holy Virtue. Proverbs 17:28 “Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” We need to remember sometimes it’s better to just shut our mouth and move on.

It’s very simple in concept, but probably the most difficult thing you’ll ever do. We as Christians must learn to control what we say. If what you speak isn’t used to raise someone up or help them genuinely, there’s no need to say it. So may kids today bullied to the point of torture, yet we stand idly by and continue to allow it to happen. Words do hurt, and we have a choice on how we want others to feel after talking to us. While it’s true we are not all gifted with speech, and we may not always say what we mean, or even know how to articulate the right words. It’s hard to articulate feelings, especially when feelings can cause strife. We must learn to articulate feelings in a way that doesn’t hurt your partner. While it’s not easy, it takes practice, and it takes the desire to want to know how not to hurt your loved ones, but with the right effort it’s possible.

If you live a life with love in your heart its easier to speak with love on your tongue. When you have anger, or hate in your heart you speak ill of people, you’re cruel and the words that you utter tear people down. Love and raise up, because in this world we could all use a little more love in our hearts. Love more, love often.

 

 

Rediscover

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Rediscover

The song plays in the distance, Moon River by Melissa Benoist. I have a dream to cross over the rainbow to find my Oz. A journey of discovery to find who I’m meant to be, I walk a path that seems black and white and without color we aren’t truly alive. Over the rainbow lies a land of magic, of color, of wonders beyond our wildest imagination. How do I get there I wonder, how do I take the step, then the leap to see if I can fly? I find myself scared to do what is necessary. I struggle to think about what if I’m making a huge mistake? The butterfly’s in my stomach doing summersaults, and as I watch a part of my life close, I wonder how did all this happens, I’m left with no answers. Life was good, moving forward, and I liked where I was. It’s so difficult closing a book when it’s over. A book that caught you, that grabbed every bit of your essence, and knowing that it’s done, it’s hard to grasp the finality of what’s come to pass. It’s clear now, that where I’m meant to is not where I thought I’d be. My life changed in an instant and in a year I found myself fighting a duality. I feel as if I’ve been split into two people and I barely recognize either of them. The man I see in the mirror I don’t recognize. The family that never would be, the career that ended before it flew, the awards that now gather dust in a box, all for nothing.

I know I never followed the typical path, but now I question why. What is it about me that so much bad have happened in a single lifetime? I look down at the cross I wear on my finger. The words of the armor are the reminder to remain strong and to fight the urge to crumble. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, and the urge to cry comes. I don’t know what’s waitin’ round the bend for me, and I don’t know if I have a friend waiting for me. I feel like I’m falling apart. My resolve seems to be shaken, and now I question everything. Of course when the going gets tough the answers are found in only two places. 1. Scripture, 2. Godly counsel.

Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

 My Lord, you must think I’m strong because I feel like the weight of the world is crushing me. Where is the light at the end of these hard times? Where’s the grace when the world isn’t fair? Where’s the faith I need to stand strong in the raging storm?

Rediscover 3Looking back at the person I once was I liked who I was back then. I look back and see the strength to take on the world, to overcome anything that came, and I was. I was a happier person, I was full of joy, and life. Today I feel so removed from then. I feel like the scars have built up and now I don’t see who I was any longer. I survived a war and through that I felt more me then I do now. The suffering from combat left me looking at the person in the mirror and I saw someone new. Now I look into the mirror and I see so little of my old self-looking back. It looks like me, but broken, fogged over through the steam that covers the glass. I wipe away the dew on the glass and I see the mask looking back at me.

God, I am broken today. I feel lost and I feel broken. My God I ask for healing today, and could healing happen today? My Lord on high you’ve watched me fall, you’ve seen me cry, you’ve seen me bleed, so I ask you on this day, to stand here with me broken together. Help pick me up and guide me along the right path. I don’t know which way’s up, or which ways down, I’m lost at sea with no stars to guide me. My fairy tale has broken down and like Humpdy Dumpdy I thought maybe I couldn’t be put back together again. Today I fall to my knees and I pray and pray, and I know that there’s only one hope for me, God’s love and God’s healing grace. I know that in this trial I’ve been tested. As many have before I me, I lean upon the words of prophesy.

Revelation 2:10 “Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.” God you’ve never left my side even in the storm, even as I faced death, you carried me back on wings of grace. You saved me for a purpose and even when I don’t know what that is, you do. You have given me a second chance to praise you in the storm, and no matter the waves that pound against me I won’t back down, I won’t stop fighting. My God my God, you have seen me through the war, you have seen me loose it all, you’ve seen me stumble, you’ve seen me fall, but today as I cry and feel like I can’t go on, I feel the strength come from above. As I sit and write I cry and the moment I start my dog lays her head in my lap. You use her to remind me you’re still there.

I am reminded that I need you Lord because the worlds to big. I stop and I listen, I quite my mind, and I reach down deep to hear your voice again. It’s with me always but sometimes I forget. Lord you cover me with the grace of your Angels, you protect me from harm, and you lift my soul. You rescue me from the Devil’s snare and one day you will call me home. While today is not that day, and nor was it yesterday or the times before, you have watched over me.

While I sit and seek tomorrow I pray the rainbow is bright. I see my wonderland and through the keyhole I ask if I seek, someday will I find, someone to watch over me. The future is a question we can’t be afraid of. We must grab life by the horns and must learn to leap so we may fly. While I’m not sure where I’m going, or what I’m doing, I know that I must take the leap of faith, and I know this journey will be one for me to rediscover who I am. Often when a chapter ends, or even the book the next phase is to relearn, rediscover who you are, or who you’re meant to be.

Rediscover 2

I Can Go The Distance

I have often dreamed of a far off place
Where a hero’s welcome would be waiting for me
Where the crowds would cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying this is where I’m meant to be

I’ll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way if I can be strong
I know every mile would be worth my while
When I go the distance, I’ll be right where I belong

As I keep going in this life, I know I will one day find that welcome. I remain on the path, and one day I will finish the song.

I will search the world, I will face its harms
‘Till I find my hero’s welcome waiting in your arms

 

 

 

 

Falling For You

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Falling For You

Giving us a choice, we walk our path alone, but for how long? The blood spilt on hallowed ground, the choices we make from then on out is our cross. Can’t say what tomorrow will bring, can’t say what’s in our future, but as we grow, I want you in it, my Lord my God, show me the way.

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You entered my life and I wasn’t prepared for it. You wore down my defenses, and without a word you got in beyond the shield, beyond the moat, beyond the walls. I don’t know how I feel, but what I feel I feel for you. You’ve changed my life in a day, a gift from above. My God was looking out for me, I was given a gift a beautiful flower plucked from the darkness and brought into the light. You’ve given me no other choice but to love. I don’t know my future but I know my past. All I know is I don’t want to live in the dark anymore. The light in my heart shines brighter. You’ve altered my life, and you’ve made me better. You smile at me, and you’ve created much glee.

When things were so dark and gloomy you put a little love in my heart. I don’t know tomorrow, or the part you play, but you’ve changed in me a big,  big way. As the light may shine bright, and even if you leave, you leave me in a better place. God brought you into my life just like Jesus said. We just need to wait and see but the love that floats around cannot be taken for granted. Making the world a better place one day at a time.

Even if you leave tomorrow I will forever hold you tight. We never know how long we have, or what we need to do. Loving this day is all we are asked to do. Knowing what’s in the air and following the rose petals that life lies down, we can only do one thing, appreciate the day we have.

Jesus gave us life, gave us hope, and we cannot walk away from the truth. In the darkness we find light and the darkness runs in fear. The case is you’re my super friend. Jesus the first superhero, He defeated death itself, and gave us the love we needed but never deserved. So from that cue, we have what we need, right when we need it. I am meant to be wherever you are next to me my Lord. All my life I promise to keep running towards you my grace. I pray you grant me a love that will last, a love that stands apart. I pray for the woman to be my partner and my best friend. When you give me her, I promise to always run home to her, to cherish her and love her as you so loved us. I may not be worthy of such love, but I know one day when you see fit, you’ll give me that gift. To love and to hold, as you loved us. 2 Corinthians 9:7-9 “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency[e] in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. 9 As it is written,”

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The day grows dark, the hate rises from the depths of Hell, and all we can do is put love in our heart. It’s time to let go of the yesterday, be free from the pain that shackled you down, grow, and take a look around at the love that surrounds you. Make the world a better place and start with you. Be the light in your friends life, be the grace that people see, and know that Christ is working through you. Don’t let the perpetuation of hate continue in your life. Don’t let fear and doubt stain your sword. What more is there in this life that stands above love? Be the joy because Jesus lives in your heart and teaches you love.

While I search my heart for the right words, I’m left on the precipice looking over the wonders of the world. When I can think of nothing better then your presence, your smile, I know that you are more, you’re special in some way. No matter the time that passes I know you’ve forever changed me. Just as Christ has taken residence in my heart, you hold a place now too. Today, tomorrow, and always a difference forever made.

5.56

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5.56

 5.56 is the size of the bullet used in both the AR-15 semi automatic rifle and the M-16, M4, military service rifle. A rifle that is semi automatic with single shot capability is not an assault weapon, it’s merely a rifle. The Assault weapon is defined by more then a single bullet per squeeze of the trigger. Full Auto weapons are not easily purchased and it takes a special federal stamp to do so. Though not incredibly difficult to do, it is impossible without the machinery and know how, the alteration when done with this particular weapon can shoot full auto, it can also hold up to a 100 round drum. The 5.56 is currently known to be the most popular rifle in America and leading rifle in home defense, though not considered to be a very good hunting rile. Sadly this is also the number 1 rifle used in mass shootings, just like the mass shooting that occurred in Las Vegas recently.

At approximately 2208 on October 1st of 2017 shots rang out at a concert in Vegas. 5.56mm rifles were used, .308 rifles were used, and possibly others that have not been released yet. It’s easy to want to respond with hateful rhetoric. It’s easy to attack a certain group of our society, gun owners, or even a political side. It’s easy to allow hate an anger to run wild during times of tragedy. We must remember to love, and to spread that love. Placing blame and getting angry doesn’t help anyone during these hard times.

Ephesians 4:17-19 “Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. 18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. 19 They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity.” We are all sinners, and those who have rebuked or denied Christ are more in the dark then the rest of us. While this is hard to understand sometimes that darkness will lead people down a path of hate and destruction. In every tragedy there is also opportunity, opportunity to show love, to shower the grieving with the word of God and show the grieving that there is light at the end of their pain.

Politicians will often use these tragedies to attempt to expand on their own personal agendas. While law enforcement is trying to put the pieces together, politicians are licking their chops and the plotting and planning begins. We must not allow the tragedies of this world to be exploited for personal gains or interest. We must instead fall onto scripture to help guide us in our grief. Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

We won’t always understand how someone can be so evil in life, and do so much harm to others. We don’t always understand why innocent people can be caught up in such evil on earth. No matter what we may feel or the questions we may have, know that God is always on the throne. Bad things happen because of sin. God’s heart breaks in such tragedy. We don’t know what God has planned, but we must have faith that God’s plan even if it seems horrible to us, is still perfect. Our hearts may break, our tears will flow, and our dreams be crushed, but God’s perfect plan will happen with our without our consent.

I myself once owned at 5.56mm rifle and I considered it one of my prized possessions. I believe fully in a persons right to choose a weapon to protect their own home, to shoot for fun, to hunt with. While this is a tragedy, and the pieces will be placed together to see the full picture, the debate will once again be raised on gun rights vs. gun control. The point I will leave is, people are evil, cruel, and sinful, and when a person wants to do others harm there will always be a way. No matter the means, no matter if it’s guns, explosives, knives, using motor vehicles, people will harm others to achieve their sick demented ends. The only way to snuff out darkness is by spreading the light. Jesus Christ is the only light we can ever depend on.

 

 

 

 

Jumping into the unknown

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Jumping into the unknown

 In a matter of weeks I will embark on an adventure all on my own. In the last year of my life I’ve suffered loss, and some joy along the way. While in every adventure there can be no growth without setbacks. While the journey is far from over it seems glimmers of light can now be seen at the end of a yearlong journey. The light I see at the end of the tunnel isn’t the headlamp of a fast approaching train. It’s finally come and while I know there will be future setbacks I’m prepared to face them head on.

In the last few weeks I’ve faced major opposition from the Veterans Administration and have had to point out gross negligence on their part. This battle has come at the cusp of my life finally being set on a particular track in a particular direction. This set back has minimized my ability to get my train up to full speed. Sadly while this causes undo stress, and might I point out needless stress, I will continue to try and face it with respect and dignity.

We may only get an opportunity once in a lifetime to leap. I’m not saying leap without looking, of course not, but sometime you need to take a leap of faith, and that leap may not always be with sight we understand. Sometimes we just don’t know what’s just around the bed, or just over the side of the next cliff. How can the eagles soar above the clouds if it doesn’t first take the leap? When we love we must first fall, a leap to let a part of ourselves go to allow for someone else to come in. When we love Jesus we must allow a part of our self to be burned away to make room for the light of the world. Loving another person is taking a chance. Rejection in life is always a possibility. Rejection from those whom we love is possibly the most hurtful thing we can ever endure. The fear of that rejection however, the fear of failure, cannot be the reason we don’t try. What if we allow ourselves to be ruled by our fear? What happens to our life, our happiness when we don’t allow ourselves to feel happy?

Genesis 2:18 “And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” We aren’t meant to be in this world alone. We aren’t meant to take the journey solo. We are made to be creatures that desire and need others. While some people are loners and some may desire their solitude that’s not the general idea for the human race. We often hide away after we are hurt, but we cannot live in the cave we’ve built forever. Even when we are broken hearted we must allow the Lord to rebuild us, to help us heal. Psalms 34:18 “The LORD [is] nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” When the right person comes along falling in love will be effortless, it will be like slipping into a warm bath. It will be like being wrapped in joy itself. The euphoria that comes with the act of falling in love is spectacular.

Sometimes we are forced to move, forced to change and we must be ready to embrace that change. Sometimes we must take a leap of faith and the trust comes later. I was watching the “Man of Steel” and while Clark was debating on his decision, he talked with a priest. During that conversation Clark stated he wasn’t sure if he could trust mankind. The priest replied that sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and trust later. Sometimes we must take the deep breath and dive into the deep water. We may not find our gold right away but if we continue to seek, one day we shall find.

As I have no clue what my future has in store for me, I can only hope and pray my future is brighter then the past. While I have seen glimmers of hope, and perhaps even love in my future, I proceed cautiously. I’ve seen and felt hope before only to be destroyed by it. This time around I am more cautious then I was before. This time also, I’m in a much better position. My faith is strong and when I needed proof the answers were given to me. We only need to have faith, and we too can see the truth. While we may not always get what we want, we will be given what we need. We must learn to understand the wants and the needs, and to also understand the repercussions of decisions. Many of our hardships will be a result of our own choices and thus we must remember we always reap what we sew.

Tomorrow’s answers will come when tomorrow does. Worry not about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry for itself. If we spend all our time worrying about our possible failures, or our possible rejections, if we never take that chance, or the leap we will truly never fly. You can’t live life with training wheels on your bicycle so take them off, put on your big boy pants or your big girl panties, and be ready for the world as it comes. Just remember though, a leap of faith doesn’t mean jumping without a parachute. Try to have at least some slight idea so you don’t fall to your own doom. Take the idea, and have faith that God will help guide you to work out the details. Trust in the Lord with thine whole heart and lean not unto your own understanding, but have faith in the truth and the light, and your way, your path shall be lit for you.

The Tower

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The Tower

We feel powerful looking down over the world. Being high up in our tower we feel safe, disconnected from the world below. How fake we are. An illusion of safety and reassurance to let us sleep soundly at night. A king sitting on the very thrown we created, ignoring the struggles and the suffering of the peasants left upon the earth far away from you in your ivory tower. The corruption of selfishness, the fall of man is when the heart fails to self and no longer others. Galatians 6:8 “For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”

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 Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” We often allow ourselves to be the masters of our own universe and when we do that we loose sight of those around us. We forget how to be empathetic to those less fortunate then ourselves.

When we forget those around us we can often leave lives in ruins. Being selfish, and vain, we can destroy everything we held onto that was once important to us. When I think about how the tower of success can change someone, I think of the fall of King David. When David was on that roof watching Bashiba bathing, so many events started to fall like dominoes and instead of doing the right thing, he plotted and schemed, he cared little for the outcome, and it eventually turned from bad to grotesque. When you sleep with someone’s wife, get them pregnant, plot to cover it up, then plot to have them murdered, and so on, you see what living with power can do over time. If the axiom is true and “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely” then those who reign high in their corporate ladders, or in positions of power within the government, it’s easy to see how and why they forget what it was like to be the little guy at the bottom.

The sad thing is it doesn’t have to be someone in a tower to forget what’s important. When marriages fall from affairs, when family breaks over the contents of a Last will and testament, or when best friends crumble out of existence, the power we hold can have lasting and damaging consequences. How quickly we forget how powerful that little thing called a tongue can be. The fact is the self can destroy everything, it can bring upon horrible actions and with very little effort ruin lives.

Be careful for the power you wield no matter if you’re the CEO, or just someone friend, very little said or done can be devastating. Remember to remain true to kindness and love. Put a little love in your heart, and if you do make it to the top of that tower and when you’re looking down at how small everyone else seems, don’t forget the perspective. Just because we may look small at the bottom, doesn’t mean we are, and it doesn’t mean we don’t matter.

 

 

Evil Shinnanigans

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Evil Shinnanigans

The days come without fail, still no closer to the apocalypse but despite the spinning of our world, the life we live continues on. It’s been no secret the Devils been working overtime this last year to break me, to drag me down to the ground, and it seems more likely he’s trying to put me 6 feet under. While I’m sure He would love nothing more then to take me off the board permanently, I’m afraid to say the rumor of my demise was greatly exaggerated. While this year has been a challenge, I’d say very little difference in my year and the life of Job.

 

It seems that the Devil is up to his old tricks yet again, knocking at my door trying to trick me into opening it, blindly, but that’s not how I do things. You see, in the fight against good and evil the fight doesn’t end till the day we draw our last breath. The day may come when we loose our strength, when we loose our faith in mankind, but today is the day we continue to stand and fight, uphold our beliefs in the Light of the Lord, and continue to walk in the darkness of this world, with our flashlight in hand. Believing in Christ and allowing the light of the world to shine through us. Having Christ working through us is like having a military grade Tac-Light verses that cheap mini mag-light they sell at Walmart.

 

The Devil is like a B-Villian in a superhero show. One who’s just really a useless entity, one that tries and tries to win the battle, but knows deep down, He’ll never win. We may get caught in the wake of the war but only as collateral damage. When we have our foundation set in the Lord, built upon the Rock of Christ.

 

Continue to have faith, and never give up hope. The war is long, but it takes time to build courage, it takes time to learn, to strategize. No matter the pain we feel in the moment of our blows, the losses we will have, the hurt of our broken hearts even when the world itself crumbles to dust, we can always rebuild, we can always overcome. The Devil and His Evil Shinnanigans cannot keep a good Christian down. We are never alone in our fight. We must just look at our neighbors in joint faith and love. Stronger together.

Pretty Good

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Pretty Good

“Here’s my day so far: went to jail, lost the girl of my dreams and got my butt kicked pretty good. Still, things could be a lot worse. Oh, that’s right… I’m falling to my death. Guess they can’t. How did it all come to this? Well, my end starts at the beginning… The very beginning!” (Megamind)

So here’s my year so far, lost my wife, lost the greatest position at work ever, lost my house, but still things could be a lot worse, oh, that’s right, I’m still fighting the soul sucking VA and just took a major setback, so how does one carry on you ask? Let me tell you.

After 10 years of working with the Veteran Affairs Administration I have finally made some headway, but at the same time receiving a crushing blow. While I thought the claims I had submitted would have been a slam-dunk victory, never a surprise when dealing with the VA however. I wasn’t surprised at some of the actual claim items not coming back favorable, however I was surprised when they couldn’t even get the claim date correct. I submitted my intent to file which is binding on February 16th, yet the file date they went with was July 31st, which was the date of my temporary disability claim for my emergency surgery. This was because they didn’t actually look at the virtual claims, and made the decision without actually doing their job, this to me is nothing but negligence. Nothing new under the sun when it comes to the VA.

Years ago I placed a claim before I got out of the Army. There was an X-Ray done prior to discharge that showed the C-Spine straightening causing muscle spasms, and headaches. The military found the defect and yet chose later to deny any involvement of it. It would take me years to appeal the VA to overturn their decision and only after I would suffer a bulged disc. The time spent fighting the VA has been long, it’s been exhausting, and have taken more man hours I like to admit. Sadly this seems to be an epidemic

The lesson here is one of patience. The hard thing about dealing with a faceless enemy is you can’t see or touch. When you are fighting a war much like chess, it’s a game of patience. You cannot win the match by rushing forward. You must be patient and tactical. You must have the ability to adapt and overcome adversity. The lesson to be learned is a lot like Batman. A master tactician that learns from every encounter, adapts while on the run, and fights for what he truly believes. While there are obvious differences, the key is patience in the face of adversity, keeping ones head on task and staying focused.

The world is a funny, fickle place, where sometimes the most reasonable ideals are still foreign to others. The VA and it’s shinnanigans have been reeking havoc on veteran lives for years. While the VA does a lot of good for Veterans, when it comes to benefits and service connection, it seems the process is designed for the veteran to fail. The idea of our nations best being strung through the ringer and hung out to dry is sickening. No matter the struggles though remember God is with you. Never stop fighting because it gets hard. Always keep your eyes on the prize and stay focused. The road is rough, but it takes time to make your courage strong.

 

 

 

 

Reach for the Golden Ring

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Reach for the Golden Ring

Our life is full of choices and full of chances. We cannot live in regret because we may only get to ride the ride once. If you’re going to live life you cannot just flounder around in the waves. There’s a golden ring up there for everyone. There’s greatness at the fingertips of everyone, the problem is we don’t allow ourselves to pursue or reach our full potential. Greatness is all about taking chances, it’s all about the risks and making sure we take the right ones. Not every risk will pay off, but we cannot reach our full potential unless we jump.

No matter how far you have to run, never stop reaching for that golden ring. Van Halen said it best:

DREAMS

World turns black and white
Pictures in an empty room
Your love starts fallin down
Better change your tune
Reach for the golden ring
Reach for the sky
Baby just spread your wings

[Chorus:]
We’ll get higher and higher straight up we’ll climb
We’ll get higher and higher leave it all behind
Run, run, run, away
Like a train runnin off the track
The truth gets left behind
And falls between the cracks
Standing on broken dreams
But never losing sight
Spread your wings

[Chorus]

So baby dry your eyes, save all the tears you’ve cried
Ohh that’s what dreams are made of
Oh baby we belong in a world that must be strong
Ohh that’s what dreams are made of

 

People will tell you you’re not good enough. They will tell you, all kinds of things, like not smart enough, not tall enough, not pretty enough, you don’t sound the part, but in every instance of being told no, make sure you are listening to the path from God. Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you using your God given talent. You will be told no a lot before you finally hear that yes. Don’t loose hope in yourself. Keep pushing and keep making yourself better. You never know what the world will hold when you push through the opposition to realize your true potential. While we all have our special gifts, and while greatness is measured by history do not mistake my meaning. Greatness isn’t fame and fortune. While some will reach that, and while it’s some peoples dreams to do so, what’s important is the legacy you leave behind. How are the lives touched around you? Does your life lift people up, does it help others when they are in need, or are you always beating people down? What kind of leader are you? Do you lead from the desk while everyone else slaves around you? Do you lead from the front, by showing and doing? Be great at whatever you do. Don’t ever quit reaching for your dreams. The path wont be easy and you’ll stumble and fall, but get back up, lick your wounds, and when you push and you follow your dreams you can be great, even if it’s just to the people around you.

You have to be ready to leap and pull your shoot. When you live your life you might only get a few moments to make a name for yourself. You may only get that one shot, one shot in any given lifetime, so you need to make sure when you have your chance you bring everything you have to offer. Don’t stop and even if you fall, even if you don’t succeed get back up. Boxers get knocked down, singers get booed off stage, actors are passed over for movies, but when that one time comes up you better bring everything. Always be the best you can be and never doubt yourself. No matter what your gift is, singing, writing, dancing, an instrument, photography, being a parent, being a supervisor, saving lives, going to war, no matter what it is follow the path and never give up.

Lose Yourself by Eminem

Look
If you had
One shot
Or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture
Or just let it slip?

 Your dreams my break, and your hopes may get crushed but always remember scripture. Proverbs 16:3 “Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.” When your dreams are in line with serving God, bringing honor and glory to the King of Kings, you won’t fail. While in our path to achieve our goals we will face tribulations. Romans 12:12 “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” No matter the path we must remember to always put God first in all we do. Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” It’s in this that we truly receive the blessings from above. When we realize that all things come from God, we will be more grateful for the blessings we have. Never forget the blessings, and give the praise to where it comes from. No matter the trials we may face, that is only to build strength, to test fortitude, to bring glory and preparation.

Hard Love by NeedtoBreathe

Hold on tight a little longer
What don’t kill ya, makes ya stronger
Get back up, ’cause it’s a hard love
You can’t change without a fallout
It’s gon’ hurt, but don’t you slow down
Get back up, ’cause it’s a hard love
You know the situation can’t be right
And all you ever do is fight
But there’s a reason that the road is long
It takes some time to make your courage strong

 

We cannot move forward until we are ready, and sometimes the hardships are just that, tests to make sure we can handle the next phase. While hardships we face might be the Devils doing we have our choice on how we manage setbacks. Remember to always spread your wings and remember you cannot sore above the clouds till you’ve first fallen to the ground. Hope and pray, find yourself, and be ready to use your gift, reach high, and never stop, reach for that Golden Ring and paradise awaits you.