Tag: faith

Living Your Identity

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Living Your Identity

Bruce Wayne lives his life as an eccentric billionaire playboy. He has his day job, his public persona but when the sun goes down and he dons the cowl, the true Bruce Wayne comes out. The true face is the one that criminals fear, and the one that stalks the streets of Gotham City. You can look at nearly all the superheroes and understand why they hide their super identity from the world. In The Dark Knight Rises Bruce Wayne tells Robin why he needed to wear a mask and it was to protect those people he cared about. I feel as if we as Christians have a secret identity, and that identity is Christian. I feel like we go to work and we never discuss our faith with anyone. We go to the grocery store and our faith stays at home. Even worse I feel like we go to bars, and strip clubs, and all manner of sinful things (no I’m not saying drinking at the bar is sinful), what I am saying is we check Christian at the door. How often do we hide who we are because we’re afraid of what someone might think? How often do we not stand up for what’s right as a Christian because we’re afraid of being ridiculed, or persecuted for it?

Not long ago I was in the grocery store, and I ran into someone I go to church with. We talked for a while and went our separate ways, but while I was grabbing what I went to the store for, I got a feeling in the pit of my stomach I couldn’t quite shake. I’m something of a newish good ol’ country boy. I like guns, and bows, and I listen to rock and roll, and I drink wine, and beer. I don’t drink to get drunk, but I feel and felt that if that person saw me buying beer that I would be judged. There are two things I’d like to say, one; we as Christians are some of the most judgmental people on the planet. Two, we as Christians are some of the most gossiping people on the planet. I fully understand and respect Christians that choose not to drink, however, those who condemn people for drinking have no real basis to do so. Drinking a beer or two doesn’t make me a bad Christian. Drinking a glass of wine doesn’t make me a bad Christian. Why are Christians so afraid to stand out, and the ones that do, why are they so afraid to be able to live who they are? This is a big problem many Christians face today, but it comes back to judgment.

I have felt in my life that I needed to hide my faith from others. The desire to fit in, the desire to be liked overwhelmed what I should have done and I hid who I was. Sadly I paid for that mistake as I ended up marrying someone who did not share my values, did not share my faith, and when the time came, I was left with nothing. I knew I shouldn’t have put my faith in the closet like that, but I was afraid that I wouldn’t ever find someone who cared for me like my ex-wife did, and when things got a little tough, she walked away without fighting to save the marriage. We as Christians must realize that our relationship with God is the most important thing in our lives. We must always put God first, and trust that our faithfulness will be rewarded. We should never deny Christ as Peter had. Matthew 26:70-74“70 But he denied it before them all, saying, “I do not know what you are saying.” 71 And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, “This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth.” 72 But again he denied with an oath, “I do not know the Man!” 73 And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, “Surely you also are one of them, for your speech betrays you.” 74 Then he began to [a]curse and [b]swear, saying, “I do not know the Man!” Immediately a rooster crowed.”

Every time we turn our backs on Christ, and we keep our faith locked away because of any reason, it never matters why, we are no better then Peter. We must not be ashamed of our faith, and we must never let fear be the reason we say nothing. We are promised persecution for our faith, and if we are truly going to accept Jesus as our savior, we must accept the struggles that come with it. Now, that being said, as for the other issues, we need to remember something, we are not holy, we are not righteous in any way. We are in no position to judge anyone else. The ONLY thing we are to do is politely call someone on their sins, and offer loving aid to help them. We are not called to pass judgment on someone. We are not called to dictate what is or is not acceptable from the world standards. The only place we just be going to determine what is and what isn’t okay is scripture. Let me point something out to those Christians who think drinking is a sin. John 2:1-11“2 On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. 2 Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. 3 And when they ran out of wine, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.” 4 Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come.” 5 His mother said to the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.” 6 Now there were set there six waterpots of stone, according to the manner of purification of the Jews, containing twenty or thirty gallons apiece. 7 Jesus said to them, “Fill the waterpots with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. 8 And He said to them, “Draw some out now, and take it to the master of the feast.” And they took it. 9 When the master of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom. 10 And he said to him, “Every man at the beginning sets out the good wine, and when the guests have well drunk, then the inferior. You have kept the good wine until now!” 11 This beginning of signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and [a]manifested His glory; and His disciples believed in Him.”

So here is the Son of God at a wedding. Read verse 10 again, the master of feast called saying at the beginning of the party the good stuff is put out, but by the time everyone is drunk and happy, the cheap stuff is put out because no one cares anymore. Jesus didn’t turn the water into bad wine even, he made it into the best wide they’d had. Now, I’m not saying it’s okay to get drunk, but what I am saying is, there’s nothing wrong with having drinks in moderation. Scripture says not to be a drunkard, and what that means is we do some stupid stuff when we drink. We must stay sober minded not to do sinful things under the guise of alcohol. There is no excuse for doing stupid things while drunk. The choice to drink is yours and drunk is never an excuse. Now on the flip side, we must stop thinking we have the right to judge others. We don’t know what anyone is going through, and we have no place to pass any kind of judgment for any reason. Our place is to love, and be there for others. Our place is to share the Love and Gospel of Jesus Christ, and show the world what being a Christian is all about. No one wants to be around gossip, or judgmental self-righteous people. I have heard so often from people who have sworn off church because they always felt like they were being judged by people in the church. How much damage has been done by people of the church because of actions such as these? The numbers frighten me because I think of all the souls that are potentially lost because we as Christians have not conducted ourselves in the best light.

Someone once said to me that you had to be able to connect with your congregation and it was important that you are approachable. I come from the military and one thing veterans do is drink. Most veterans drink far to much, but it’s common place to have a beer with friends, and laugh and joke, and I find most veterans are more likely to open up at a gathering after having a beer or two. As a (hopefully) future reverend, I hope to be able to reach the veteran community. I hope to be approachable and if that means having a beer or two with veterans, to me it’s no different then having wine at a wedding. The reason I was so concerned at the store is because I know how some people are and some topics are touchy subjects for some people. I neither want to be the subject of gossip, nor the subject of someone’s judgment. Ultimately however, my actions are between God and me. I trust that if I stepped out of place I would made aware of it, and I would have to face the consequences for my actions. We should never have to hide because of fear. Growing up I hid I was a nerd in school because I was terrified I’d never be accepted. Now I have a blog post that I am literally comparing the Gospels to today’s age of the Geek. What I was once afraid of I now share proudly. I am a Christian, I am a nerd, I drink beer, and I talk to sinners. I talk to non-believers, and I converse with people of different faiths. I am decorated Army Veteran, and on occasion I might use a curse word. It should come as no surprise to anyone that I too am a sinner. I too fall short of the glory of God, and I to struggle with the world and my faith.

We are all attacked by the Devil, attacked by the world, attacked by the flesh, but we always have to fight as hard as we can. We draw our strength from our Lord and Savior, and we are covered in protection when we ask for it. Psalm 91:4“He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.” Let’s all cool it on the gossip, and let us all stop judging one another, and just love one another. Lift up one another in talk, not tear down. Live your identity and remember it’s Jesus’s judgment we must be concerned with, not that of man. Never be afraid to be who you are. I’ve been condemned for being a Christian and the more I study, the more I preach and teach, the less tolerant those around be become. It was fine me being a Christian as long as I didn’t talk about it. It was find being a Christian as long as it didn’t come up in conversation, but now, more and more people are proving to be less open to hearing me out, and even as far as no longer supporting me and my path. I have found it difficult as my mornings now start with yet another person pulling their support. One by one acquaintances drop away and I find that as the Devil pushes me, I must remain vigilant and affirm who I am. I am a Christian, and I am a man seeking redemption for years of mistakes and sins. I am a man driven to help others going through hell on Earth that I’ve experienced. I’m a Christian who wants to share the love and grace of Jesus Christ, not because of something I think might be true, but what I know to be true by the evidence within my own life. I’m a Christian who loves the Lord and will stand firm as I am taunted, and exiled from parts of my old world. I have faith in God the Father, and I know he renews that Faith, and through the hard times, or the peaceful times, I will not bend a knee to the world just because it wants me to. I will not acquiesce to be silent in my faith. I am a Christian, and I will live my identity. I don’t need to hide who I am, and I won’t.

God Said and We Must Trust

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God Said and We Must Trust

Genesis 2:1818 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Some days when I feel alone, when I feel discouraged, I think back to what God said and I know that in this season I may be alone, but I must put my faith in God that He has a plan bigger than I can see. It’s not easy going through life without the things we desire most, but if something is truly good for us the Lord will provide when the time is right. Being patient is one of the hardest things we as humans have to do. There are a lot of things I am patient with, but being alone is not one of them. While some people can go their entire lives alone, some people are wired for those human connections. Be strong in your faith, and trust in the Lord. Walk closely with Christ and listen to what the Holy Spirit is telling you. Find your purpose God has planned for you, and always trust in the process. God doesn’t make mistakes, and for every hardship, tragedy, struggle, God is with you working out the details. Do not loose hope, and do not despair, Jesus Christ is the truth, the way, the life. In his death we were given eternal hope, so never fear tomorrow, focus on today, and trust the plan. God

I Don’t Have The Answers

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I Don’t Have The Answers

With so much pain in the world, and so much selfishness, I can honestly say I don’t have all the answers. I see people when they are low, and I see people when they are on top of the world, but the only answer I have is Jesus Christ. The only hope I have is knowing that I’m not alone and even at times when it feels like the whole world is against me, I know I have Christ in my corner. There’s never been a moment I have been without Christ. I have been through Hell, and I’ve seen horrible things happen to people all around me. The only answers I have are those I find in the Holy Book. I have walked this walk for so long and doing it my own way only led to disaster. Trying to rebuild from catastrophe after catastrophe is exhausting. While I may not have all the answers, I can say with authority what not to do. I can say what I’ve ended up with, and if I’m being completely honest I have lost nearly everything, twice. I know that Satan pushes us, Sin pushes us, the world pushes us, and God pulls us. We are fools if we don’t seek Godly counsel in our paths. Proverbs 12:15 15“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But he who heeds counsel is wise.”In my walk I found I had gotten lazy. I put off going to church, I put off my studies, and shortly after my life fell apart. As soon as I put down my armor the attack came and I was ill prepared to face it. My lack of preparedness was evident as my fall from the tower I had built.

Life is hard, and it can be cruel and unforgiving. Mistakes can haunt us for the rest of our lives, and we sometimes have to live with the foolish decisions we’ve made. What I can say is we must turn to God in our foolishness and ask for forgiveness. We must repent with our hearts, and trust that God will take us just the way we are. When we accept Jesus into our lives, He changes us. We are reborn like the phoenix, the fire burns away the old self leaving what God put in us all along. 1 John 4:1“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” When we follow Christ we are often tested, and people may come into our lives as part of that test. We must realize that not everything is as it appears. Some things that may look like blessings on the surface may not truly be, and it’s up to us to test that. Do not be caught unawares. Be careful whom you become attached to. I have failed in this more time then I care to admit, and each time I have felt the sting of rejection, and it’s led me to a dark place inside myself. Not everyone we meet will lift us up, some are there to tear you down. It’s up to us to let scripture and the Holy Spirit guide us. When we stand apart from the world, it will be harder to find those to lift us up. Do not allow your loneliness to compromise your integrity for the companionship and lure of the flesh you so long for. Be earnest in your prayers to God, follow His plan for you, trust in Him, and submit yourself to know when the time is right, God will take care of you.

House Divided

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House Divided

Matthew 12:25-30“25 But Jesus knew their thoughts, and said to them: “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand. 26 If Satan casts out Satan, he is divided against himself. How then will his kingdom stand? 27 And if I cast out demons by Beelzebub, by whom do your sons cast them out? Therefore they shall be your judges. 28 But if I cast out demons by the Spirit of God, surely the kingdom of God has come upon you. 29 Or how can one enter a strong man’s house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man? And then he will plunder his house. 30 He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters abroad.” Jesus is showing the Pharisees how ridiculous they are in questioning the miracle they had just witnessed. His response which was much longer then just the few verses above was aimed to show them, rather to call them out for the deliberate lie they had tried to spread. The Pharisees knew the power Jesus used came from God.

It’s important to know that as a home how important it is to have a united front. It’s important to stay united because divided a house falls. During the Illinois Republican State Convention, Springfield, Illinois June 16, 1858 Abraham Lincoln spoke on the rising tensions between the North and the South. It was believed separation was possible and eventually the divided nation did happen. The nation nearly fell apart because it couldn’t agree on policies. Homes, countries, states can be torn apart when anything moves in and begins to tear down the walls of communication. I’ve seen loving homes broken because of differences of opinions or beliefs. I’ve watched families torn and divided because ultimately the united front putting God first wasn’t there anymore. It’s important that in a household that the focus is the same, and as commanded in scripture, the priority is always God first.

Our country was founded as a Christian nation. The founders believed in God first and all these years later it’s my opinion we’ve lost sight of that, and we’ve begun to fight and war with each other and it’s caused a divide within this nation. Even with the idea that everyone has the right to celebrate his or her own faith without persecution. We’ve become a nation of judgments, of sensitivity, and hatred. We do not respect one another, and we’ve gotten to the point now where we don’t show love for one another.

It’s important that we understand that it’s Jesus that changes hearts. It’s the blood of Christ that gives us hope in this dark world. It’s faith that keeps us strong, and when we remember that this life is but a fleeting moment in the big picture, and eternity is what awaits us, we can focus and manage each problem with a clear head, and an open heart. While we may be divided right now we haven’t fallen apart yet. Jesus Christ is the truth, and the way, and if we can turn our focus to God we may realize that it’s Christ that can change our path. We are but a leaky vessel and if we are to remain afloat, it’s Christ that protects us from the waters. Remember to put your faith in Christ and keep your house together. Divided we fall, we cannot combine our forces to fight the spiritual warfare that comes if we are facing each other. The Devil wants to pit us against one another, to turn on one another. Just like the Joker in The Dark Knight. “Don’t talk like you’re one of them! You’re not, even if you’d like to be. To them you’re just a freak, like me. They need you right now, but when they don’t, they’ll cast you out—like a leper. See, their morals, their “code”…it’s a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They’re only as good as the world allows them to be. I’ll show you, when the chips are down, these—ah—”civilised people”? They’ll eat each other. See, I’m not a monster. I’m just ahead of the curve.” The Joker was trying to divide Batman from the people he swore to protect. The Devil seeps in to homes and spreads lies, creates insecurities, mistrust, whispers of a better life with someone else, and slowly the thoughts change, and the cracks in the foundation begin. Before long left untreated the crack divides the house and what’s left is destruction. In Christ the fracture can mend, the bonds broken can heal, but it takes two parts to mend back together. You have to be willing to extend an olive branch and talk to each other. Come back together putting Christ first, and heals the bonds that were broken.

 

 

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 What Gets You Excited?

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 What Gets You Excited?

Do you have anything that attacks your senses and just gets you 8 years old excited? For me there’s few things in life that get me excited. I am not usually excited by much as I’ve gotten older. As more tragedies have occurred in my life more and more joys have been snuffed out. I no longer look forward to holidays as I used to, and slowly even television shows I once loved would soon just be watched out of habit, not out of excitement. I still get excited when I hear the new theme from the 2009 Star Trek. I find that excitement in my stomach happens at the theme, and it reminds me of a time period in my life when it provided comfort, and hope. In your life, what gives you comfort and hope? What about the hope that Jesus Christ offers you? Does the blood that gives us everlasting life comfort you?

How do we know what true hope is? Do we find our hope in people? Do we place our happiness and sense of belonging or self worth in the hands of sinful people? Human Beings are all sinful no matter how upright, or righteous anyone is. While years may pass before anything happens, so one can go their entire life without making a mistake. Sinful behavior happens within all of us, and thus at some point we will undoubtedly hurt those around us. In my own life I have often placed my self worth in what others thought of me. In the last few weeks I’ve had several big upsets in my social (if you can call what I have social) circle. Most of my relationships are digital ones and sadly most digital relationships, or so-called friendships are barely friendships. While this is not a blanket black and white statement I do believe it’s generally accurate. I believe most people aren’t looking for anything real, that they just want filler in their lives. I believe most people only want positive and uplifting conversation. At the first sign of any conflict people will leave without a word. At the first disagreement over anything they leave. I’ve been ghosted or abandoned enough times that in my life I can honestly say I have seen this first hand. As I have struggled with keeping friends in my life, I have often asked myself why people don’t like me, or don’t want me around. I have watched this in my life over and over and as I’ve struggled to change the outcomes but in each situation I’ve failed to change the end result. The impact on my self-esteem has been drastic. The change in my mood has been so drastic in the last few weeks it’s caused a mild depression to set in. The fact that I have allowed my feelings to be impacted so heavily by people I’ve never met is foolish at best. The desire to make friends has led me to different phone apps, different websites, different Facebook pages, and I have yet to have many positive experiences in the last two years. I’m not saying depression can always be avoided, but for me, if I were to stop placing my value in the hands of others, I would probably be much happier. What does scripture say about having hope?

Romans 15:13“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” During the old testament scripture is filled with God’s disappointment with the way in which Israel conducted itself. Within the messianic prophesies the Jewish people were looking forward to the savior that would come and save them from the hands of their enemies. What they would fail to realize was the hope they would have would not be to save them from their enemies, the Romans, or any other aggressor, it would be to save them from eternal death. In our time we look back to the Cross for our hope, and we know and understand that it was the blood shed on the cross that gave us hope. What’s hard for us in this life is dealing with the hurt, the pain, the suffering brought on by a sinful, fallen world. Heaven is more then our minds can comprehend and we see life as fair or unfair based on our particular point of view. Growing up I often felt that life was unfair. I watched others with more money wear nicer clothes, had bigger Christmas’s, and were more involved in school. I watched as popular kids had parties, and had plenty of friends. I suffered from a semi rare birth defect that left me self conscious and different. I struggled as over the years I would be forced to take time off from school to undergo a surgery. Having to explain my absence to other students became difficult at best. Not having a standard childhood I struggled with simple concepts of emotions. I spent time in church and during that time as scattered as my teaching was, I held hope that God had a plan for me. As more and more trauma’s and struggles happened to me I felt I had done something wrong and I was being punished by God as Israel had once been.

Growing up I sometimes had the gift to see events before they happened. I would see things in dreams, or sometimes just strong feelings before an event. When I was in Iraq I knew there was an IED near an area. I sensed it, and even though my feelings were dismissed I would find out not 15 minutes later I was right. In that attack four soldiers; four friends lost their lives. That was the last time I ever had a premonition of the future. I thought for the longest time I was doomed to suffer this whole life. I struggled for years thinking God was angry with me, and I would eventually give up on feeling better. It would be years before I felt God had finally given me a gift. I cherished the love he had given me, and I made my way back to church and back into God’s word. I learned in time that it isn’t God that brings us pain, it’s people, it’s sin, it’s personal choice, but in all things God gives us hope. Romans 12:12“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” We are along on this ride, this roller coaster and we never know what surprises we might find. We cannot see the future and we must just accept that in this life it’s a blessing to wake up every day. It’s only by grace that we have life, and we must above all else be thankful that while we are ambassadors of this life that means this isn’t home. We have a brighter tomorrow once this life has ended. Isaiah 40:31“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” It’s not easy, but we must find our joy within Christ. We must find our peace within the knowledge that this life isn’t everything. While it may be difficult at times, we must allow ourselves to keep pushing forward. Do not fear tomorrow, do not dread it, for we have a promise from God. Deuteronomy 31:6“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

While I cannot say I have mastered the art of not worrying about tomorrow, I can say the hope and love of Christ is what keeps me waking up in the morning. I can say that even on my darkest of days when I feel like everyone has forsaken me, I know that I still have Jesus Christ. While I do hurt from a lack of companionship, I know that the future can hold anything. God’s blessings are endless and I cannot loose sight of that hope. If we could understand and comprehend God, the entity we know as God wouldn’t truly be God. We cannot comprehend the perfection of Heaven. We cannot understand the complete nature of grace, and we can never understand the true level of Love shared by God. That being said, it’s in that love we must find excitement, find joy, and find the strength to carry on no matter how dark the path may seem.

 

 

Sunday verse of the day

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John 15:13 New King James Version (NKJV)

13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

It’s not just enough to say you care for someone, or even you love someone. Loving is doing, it’s showing people you care through actions. So instead of telling someone you love them today, do something kind and generous to show them you care.

What Would You Have Me Do?

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What Would You Have Me Do?

We as Christians are often hated because of our strong opinions on particular controversial matters, but in that, it comes back to doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do. There comes a time when anyone must decide the path they will take and the person they want to be. The time will come when you must choose to do what is easy, or what is right. I am reminded of the scene in The Dark Knight (Spoilers Ahead) Bruce is struggling with his roll as Batman because the Joker seems intent on causing destruction and death so indiscriminately that Bruce decides to turn himself in as the Batman. He asks Alfred for his advice yet initially ignores it.

BRUCE WAYNE: “People are dying, Alfred. What would you have me do?”

ALFRED PENNYWORTH: “Endure, Master Wayne. Take it. They’ll hate you for it, but that’s the point of Batman. He can be the outcast. He can make the choice that no one else can make, the right choice.”

We as Christians often sit back and watch the world and we shake our heads in shame, but we do nothing.  We ourselves often don’t endure the hardships without turning our backs or anger towards God. We have become so fickle, so quick to anger, so quick to forget the blessings and wonderful things we have received simply from God’s grace, not because we’ve earned it or deserve anything. We are worthy of nothing, yet we are given everything. We are hypocrites yet we are Loved endlessly. We are filthy yet we are cleansed in the blood and made clean.

I can recall times in my life when I was hurting both emotionally and physically and I have cried to God that I would do anything if He’d just make the pain go away. Sadly I have never experienced a time when my suffering was miraculously taken away, but I have experienced other miracles. I’ve experienced miracles so powerful it would be difficult for me to believe anything else as truth. Jesus Christ is the true son of God, the one the prophesy foretold, and the one who came to deliver us from the bondage of Sin. Jesus paid the price for our sins but we still have to walk the journey. In the book of Acts you see a man named Saul undergo a transformation. Saul was a Roman Jew who had made it his life’s work to seek out and destroy the Christian church. Anyone who supported or followed those who followed Christ would be subject to his wrath. He caused a great deal of pain and sorrow, and in his own eyes believed he was doing the work of God. While traveling to Damascus Saul was stricken before a blinding white light. He fell to his knees with the voice of the I Am in his head. Jesus spoke to him, and Saul’s response Acts 9:6 “6 And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do? And the Lord said unto him, Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do.” He asked the Lord what must he do? When was the last time we asked the Lord what we must do, but not in exchange for anything, just so that we may bring glory to the Father. Saul who was renamed Paul went on to serve the Lord faithfully, and even though he was warned he would suffer long in the name of Christ he continued to serve. Paul would be beaten, imprisoned, shipwrecked, attacked by snakes, be stoned, and a number of other things all in the name of Jesus Christ. Perhaps it was his penance for the suffering he had caused the Church, but through the constant beatings, torture, and everything else he maintained his faith. He would leave behind perhaps one of the greatest testimonials in this history of mankind.

My Lord I look to you, and I ask what would you have me do? I believe I’m told to endure, to take pain because I can. I believe that it’s not just my faith in Christ, but Christ’s faith in me that tells me I can make it through anything. Sure there will be troubles ahead but that’s what it means to be a hero. Christ tells us all we will face hardships and persecution in his name. When those times come we have a choice how we’re going to handle it. I believe the best thing we can do is ask God one question, ‘what would you have me do?’ I’ve not been very good at asking this question. I’ve more often then not been the guy to ask ‘why me?’ I’ve not always been a good Christian, meaning to say I’ve not always been as faithful as I should, or even behaved, as I should. If Paul is the example of how to hold one’s self in times of crisis, then I have failed miserably. I know that I have failed, but by the grace of God, my failures are forgiven, and I keep getting up and keep putting my feet to the ground. When we live our lives according to God’s word, the peace that comes isn’t a fix to the worlds problems, but it does make those problems easier to face. The future is never certain for those of us who aren’t fortune tellers, so all we can do is trust in the Lord and know that in all things, good, bad, beautiful, and horrible, we’re never alone, and God is working out all the details, big and small. 1 Peter 5:7 “casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”

Take some time and turn to God. Take some time and find what you can do for God’s glory. No matter what happens the will of God will happen, so we can live our lives worrying ourselves to death, or we can take a breath, say a prayer, and trust in God. We must stand apart because we are apart. We are told we live in this world, but we are not of this world. The world will hate us for what we are, but that’s the nature of being a Christian. Never have we been told in good conscience that we would be given everything we ever wanted. We are given what we need, and we give far less in return. We do not stand in fight for the helpless or the hopeless. We do not stand against bullies and tyranny. We do not stand the test of time without questions or doubt. The path that is easy is to walk of this world. The path that is difficult is the one led by the cross. We must carry our cross and do so proudly. We are sinners in this world, but through the power of Christ we are different, not just in faith, but in our actions. So be different. Be a hero tonight.

Prayer Requests

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Prayer Requests

While I had intended a completely different topic, over the last few days so much trouble and sickness, and hurt has come to my attention. Sometimes we need to stop what we’re doing and realize that there’s so much more going on around us that we rarely see. I was sitting around yesterday with my cup around 1/3 filled when one by one the emotional flood started to come in and before I knew it, my cup was flowing over the sides. With no power to change a single situation, and with no possible advice to give, the only thing I could do was pray. So today, this post will be short and sweet, and straight to the point. We are taught to pray each and every day, all day about all things. We are told to pray for every one of our needs, our wants, our desires, and more importantly then ourselves, pray for others.

Today’s post is just to remind you to take a moment in silent reflection, and pray for everything going on around you. Follow these verses and remember to always way.

 

1 Thessalonians 5:17 – Pray without ceasing.

 

Philippians 4:6 – Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

 

Romans 8:26 – Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.

 

James 5:16 – Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

 

No matter how dark things look, or how great things are, never stop praying. Never stop turning to God for everything we have. Never stop praying and turning to one another because the power of prayer is powerful.

God’s Will, My Will, Who’s Will

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God’s Will, My Will, Who’s Will

 Psalm 143:10 “Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Your Spirit is good. Lead me in the land of uprightness.” I have been questioning my purpose in life, and it has been years that I’ve been floundering in my career. As time pushed on I never quite found my flow, found my comfort. I spent years unwilling to leave my career because it was part of my comfort zone. Eventually God would force me to leave my career and follow a new path. I can remember growing up being in love with the church. As I grew I had felt some urges to work in the church but the older I got the further I wanted to be from working. I never stopped longing to go to church just didn’t think ministry was right for me. I ran from the idea for years and years.

When I think of everything I’ve gone through I can’t help but think of the song ‘Where My Heart Will Take Me’. I have walked a long journey, and as I’ve walked through the fire and the rain, I have always kept the faith that one day I would find where I belonged. I knew my strength came from my God and that God loved me no matter what everyone else said, or even those who doubted me. I can remember when I first decided to join the Army there were many who laughed at me. I was just some skinny kid, and many thought I’d fail. I was a weird kid and the vegetarian and most thought I’d fail in the first week. I not only made it my first week but after nearly dying from MRSA I bounced back and completed my 20K ruck march. I watched as I overcame all odds and managed to do something so many doubted. I was the smallest guy in my unit and even the Drill Sergeants didn’t think I would make it. Above the doubts I wanted to prove to myself I could do it. For the next 3 ½ years I would find myself achieving things I never dreamed I would. From combat to marriage, to moving out on my own I would come to find I was more independent I ever dreamed of being.

As tragedy would strike my life I would struggle to pick myself up. Instead of turning to God and giving my struggles and my trials to the Lord who could fix my heart, I hid it away and never faced them again. I thought I was doing just find handling my life well enough. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe and know Christ, I had failed in my prayer life and failed to understand the true nature of being a follower of Christ. My whole life I had questioned why I was being made to go through so much pain. I have struggled often wondering why I wasn’t good enough to be happy. I struggled with wondering why no one wanted me, and why I would loose so many people I cared for. The thing was I was always asking why me, and my suffering was about me. I never once thought to rejoice at my struggles. I never once thought to ask how my struggles could be used to glorify God. I never once thought to praise God even in my darkest hours. Instead I was always asking God why me, and what I had done wrong to deserve it. I always made it about me, and no matter how low I got I couldn’t see past me. I wasn’t narcissistic, nor was I entirely responsible for my own sufferings, but I can see now how those things while at the time were horrible and traumatic, but today they have given me a point of authority to preach on the subject.

I can’t say I fully understand everything, but I can say one day I hope to understand more then I do now. In my journey I now realize how much of a foolish young man I was. I was bitter and angry for so long I look back over my life and while I was never the cruel type, or cold or distant, for the most part I was always as loving as I could be. That was until something bad happened and then I shut down. See, for me the problem was facing the hurt, and instead of facing it I buried it deep down hid it away and never let it come out. I was dealing with it in my own will, and not God’s will. I need a swift kick in my stubborn butt, but instead I trudged along in my own way unwilling to see the bigger picture. See my whole life was missing out on an opportunity to minister God’s word in all the situations and countries I would find myself. Instead God took a back seat in my life and only when I needed something did I turn to God to get me out of the mess I was in.

Today’s picture of me is much different. Today the first place I turn when something happens is God. Today the first thing is tell God how perfect and gracious the Lord is. I thank God for an opportunity to learn from whatever lesson I’m being plagued with. I have learned to let my will fall to the side, and follow God’s will. I have allowed myself to be in charge for too long and I’ve found that I can either accept the lesson to be learned and not stress as much, or try to do it my way and hate life. So when dealing with any situation in life it’s important to praise God good or bad, and have trust and faith that He’s in control. For ever tear we cry, every laugh from our belly’s, every step we take Jesus is by our side and we must have faith that we aren’t alone during any of it. God so loved us that he gave his only so anyone that followed him shall not die, but would have eternal life. John 3:16 (paraphrase)We don’t know why so much bad happens other then we live in a fallen sinful world, where greed, selfishness, and hate are a plague upon humanity. We must choose the path of righteousness, the path of love that we are taught through Jesus Christ. This path isn’t one I ever thought I would be on, but as a surprise to me, those closest to me found little shock in it, as they saw my path to ministry as no longer plausible, but likely. All those years I spent telling God was I wasn’t going to do, what I should have been saying to God was what do you want me to do and then ‘Yes Sir’. Even though I walked my own path and I avoided God’s calling for me like the plague, the truth is, I wouldn’t be prepared for this path had it not been for where I was. My path was full of pain and turmoil, but even with the trials I shall face on this new road, I can rejoice in them because I now know and understand how to give the glory to God. Something I once said with my ex wife, ‘I don’t like you right now, but I love you.’ I believe this sentiment is true with God also. We don’t always like God’s plan, but we still have to follow it. We may not always like God at the moment, but when you think about it, that sentiment could be true of God with us. Imagine how patient God is, a Parent watching over His children who are stupid, arrogant, selfish, kind, soft, loving people all at once. We walk our paths, we turn our backs, and yet even when we are disciplined we are still loved greater then our wildest imaginations. Stay the course and make sure God’s path is your path.

 

Side Note:

During the writing of this post I was hit, blind sided with a message from someone I had befriended for a few weeks now, and while I wouldn’t have assumed anything was wrong out of the blue I get a message saying they were sorry but couldn’t talk to me anymore. That was it. I may not know what the purpose was, but I know it hurts. Regardless of how it made me feel the first thing I did was prayed. I took a step back and though my feelings were hurt, I cannot change anything, and I have no control over the situation, so all I can do is pray to the one with the power Jesus Christ, and offer myself to take this and figure out how to use this to glorify God, even if that means just taking my pain to the big guy up stairs.

 

 

Long Nights

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Long Nights

It’s 1AM and I wake from sleep. I grunt and I roll over and close my eyes to sleep again. 315AM my eyes open again, this time it feels hot on my face. The mask that keeps me healthy is hot and sticks as I move. I adjust and drift back to sleep. 530AM and this time I wake up unable to fall back to sleep. The weight of the night heavy on my mind and it lingers like a dense fog. The dawn breaks the horizon forcing light beyond the gray clouds that blankets the sky. There’s rustling in the house as the internal clock of each animal hits 6AM. The animals are oblivious of the struggles of the night, and yet, to them the day moves forward as any other. Perhaps they are right, and no matter the night, or the week, or even the year, the day moves forward and no matter how much we want, the days come and go, and all of yesterday is gone.

We spend so much time worrying about the day, tomorrow, yesterday, and in that worry we cause anxiety, depression, regrets, and we fail to live in the moment. The struggle is real for millions perhaps billions of people every day. While we are taught in scripture not to worry, that God’s in control and it’s our faith in God that sees us through, theory is much easier then practice. Matthew 6:25-34“25 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one [a]cubit to his [b]stature?

 28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not [c]arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

 31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

 

I have spent years trying to reprogram my thinking to accept the things I cannot control. I have sat in my own desperation and I have struggled to sleep because of it. I have been desperate for change, for answers, for anything to ease the storm inside. While many would say it’s a lack of faith that causes such problems I disagree. I think our faith is what allows us to get through tough times in a way that keeps our witness of Christ. I believe it’s our understanding of Jesus Christ that allows us to wake up every day and continue moving forward. I am certainly not the first person to struggle with depression, and low self-esteem. While I realize I am made exactly how God wanted me, I can’t help but consider the judgments of this world. Often we hear ‘don’t listen to what other people think.’ While this is true, when you hear the same thing over and over from many sources it’s hard not to hear it. The brain much like our body is affected by what it takes in. If a child is raised in an abusive household full of anger, bitterness, and verbal abuse, that child will undoubtedly suffer from depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and that’s best case scenario. Worst case is they adopt those behaviors and later in life become the same.

King David who wrote many, or most of the psalms is often seen suffering from depression, heartache, and yet always turns to God for truth, guidance, hope, and love. If David was known as the man after God’s own heart, then we come to realize even the strongest will face struggles. It’s not about the struggle it’s about how we manage. Do we let the darkness take hold and push us down a destructive path? Or, do we rise up, rise above, and praise Jesus in the midst of the storm? Deuteronomy 31:8“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Maintain your path, and when you feel the weight pushing you down, don’t try to hold up the world. Instead let the weight push you down, down to your knees and pray to God. When facing an opponent that’s bigger use their weight against them. When the world pushes you, just move out of the way, and let life fall down. The one with the power to control the very storm, we pray. Psalm 34:17“The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.” We all have troubles, and some will let those troubles crush them, others will rise above, and not get stuck in the muck and mire. Psalm 40:1-3“I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. 2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. 3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORDand put their trust in him.”

 In the absence of light in the dead of the darkness, I shall not fear because the God of Angel Army’s is always on my side. I trust in my Lord and I just speak the words and cast the darkness out in the name of Christ. When looking to tomorrow just remember God’s already there. When looking back at yesterday remember God was there too. And when looking to the moment God’s right by your side. Do not fear the darkness because no darkness can remain with even a tiny bit of light. John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” No peace can be taken from you so long as you maintain your foundation with Christ. No enemy can stand against you and take your salvation away from you. Romans 8:38-39 “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” So stand tall, stand firm, and if you wake in the middle of the night, praise God that you are awake and breathing, and be full of joy for the blessing of life.

 

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