What Gets You Excited?
Do you have anything that attacks your senses and just gets you 8 years old excited? For me there’s few things in life that get me excited. I am not usually excited by much as I’ve gotten older. As more tragedies have occurred in my life more and more joys have been snuffed out. I no longer look forward to holidays as I used to, and slowly even television shows I once loved would soon just be watched out of habit, not out of excitement. I still get excited when I hear the new theme from the 2009 Star Trek. I find that excitement in my stomach happens at the theme, and it reminds me of a time period in my life when it provided comfort, and hope. In your life, what gives you comfort and hope? What about the hope that Jesus Christ offers you? Does the blood that gives us everlasting life comfort you?
How do we know what true hope is? Do we find our hope in people? Do we place our happiness and sense of belonging or self worth in the hands of sinful people? Human Beings are all sinful no matter how upright, or righteous anyone is. While years may pass before anything happens, so one can go their entire life without making a mistake. Sinful behavior happens within all of us, and thus at some point we will undoubtedly hurt those around us. In my own life I have often placed my self worth in what others thought of me. In the last few weeks I’ve had several big upsets in my social (if you can call what I have social) circle. Most of my relationships are digital ones and sadly most digital relationships, or so-called friendships are barely friendships. While this is not a blanket black and white statement I do believe it’s generally accurate. I believe most people aren’t looking for anything real, that they just want filler in their lives. I believe most people only want positive and uplifting conversation. At the first sign of any conflict people will leave without a word. At the first disagreement over anything they leave. I’ve been ghosted or abandoned enough times that in my life I can honestly say I have seen this first hand. As I have struggled with keeping friends in my life, I have often asked myself why people don’t like me, or don’t want me around. I have watched this in my life over and over and as I’ve struggled to change the outcomes but in each situation I’ve failed to change the end result. The impact on my self-esteem has been drastic. The change in my mood has been so drastic in the last few weeks it’s caused a mild depression to set in. The fact that I have allowed my feelings to be impacted so heavily by people I’ve never met is foolish at best. The desire to make friends has led me to different phone apps, different websites, different Facebook pages, and I have yet to have many positive experiences in the last two years. I’m not saying depression can always be avoided, but for me, if I were to stop placing my value in the hands of others, I would probably be much happier. What does scripture say about having hope?
Romans 15:13“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” During the old testament scripture is filled with God’s disappointment with the way in which Israel conducted itself. Within the messianic prophesies the Jewish people were looking forward to the savior that would come and save them from the hands of their enemies. What they would fail to realize was the hope they would have would not be to save them from their enemies, the Romans, or any other aggressor, it would be to save them from eternal death. In our time we look back to the Cross for our hope, and we know and understand that it was the blood shed on the cross that gave us hope. What’s hard for us in this life is dealing with the hurt, the pain, the suffering brought on by a sinful, fallen world. Heaven is more then our minds can comprehend and we see life as fair or unfair based on our particular point of view. Growing up I often felt that life was unfair. I watched others with more money wear nicer clothes, had bigger Christmas’s, and were more involved in school. I watched as popular kids had parties, and had plenty of friends. I suffered from a semi rare birth defect that left me self conscious and different. I struggled as over the years I would be forced to take time off from school to undergo a surgery. Having to explain my absence to other students became difficult at best. Not having a standard childhood I struggled with simple concepts of emotions. I spent time in church and during that time as scattered as my teaching was, I held hope that God had a plan for me. As more and more trauma’s and struggles happened to me I felt I had done something wrong and I was being punished by God as Israel had once been.
Growing up I sometimes had the gift to see events before they happened. I would see things in dreams, or sometimes just strong feelings before an event. When I was in Iraq I knew there was an IED near an area. I sensed it, and even though my feelings were dismissed I would find out not 15 minutes later I was right. In that attack four soldiers; four friends lost their lives. That was the last time I ever had a premonition of the future. I thought for the longest time I was doomed to suffer this whole life. I struggled for years thinking God was angry with me, and I would eventually give up on feeling better. It would be years before I felt God had finally given me a gift. I cherished the love he had given me, and I made my way back to church and back into God’s word. I learned in time that it isn’t God that brings us pain, it’s people, it’s sin, it’s personal choice, but in all things God gives us hope. Romans 12:12“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” We are along on this ride, this roller coaster and we never know what surprises we might find. We cannot see the future and we must just accept that in this life it’s a blessing to wake up every day. It’s only by grace that we have life, and we must above all else be thankful that while we are ambassadors of this life that means this isn’t home. We have a brighter tomorrow once this life has ended. Isaiah 40:31“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” It’s not easy, but we must find our joy within Christ. We must find our peace within the knowledge that this life isn’t everything. While it may be difficult at times, we must allow ourselves to keep pushing forward. Do not fear tomorrow, do not dread it, for we have a promise from God. Deuteronomy 31:6“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
While I cannot say I have mastered the art of not worrying about tomorrow, I can say the hope and love of Christ is what keeps me waking up in the morning. I can say that even on my darkest of days when I feel like everyone has forsaken me, I know that I still have Jesus Christ. While I do hurt from a lack of companionship, I know that the future can hold anything. God’s blessings are endless and I cannot loose sight of that hope. If we could understand and comprehend God, the entity we know as God wouldn’t truly be God. We cannot comprehend the perfection of Heaven. We cannot understand the complete nature of grace, and we can never understand the true level of Love shared by God. That being said, it’s in that love we must find excitement, find joy, and find the strength to carry on no matter how dark the path may seem.
The Arrow Preacher 