Tag: dogs

Held by a Savior

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Held by a Savior

In the last year my followers have seen that I have experienced some significant hardships, but the thing is, we all do. It’s not about the hardships, it’s about how we survive them. Everyone experiences their own trials, and their own troubles. We all have our tears that pour from our faces, and we all experience pain that while others may be able to sympathize, or empathize with us, it’s our own pain and no one knows exactly what we feel. We all have our stories that can be either inspiration as what to do, or not to. What is it to be a man? What is it to be a woman? I believe the truth is in how we handle our pain and how we endure the cross. Do we endure with dignity that would make people proud, or do we allow our lives to fall apart and crumble beneath our feet?

It’s a fine line I think between falling down, and throwing everything away. It’s okay to not be okay. I think those who actively follow a path of self-destruction are those who throw away. I think those who follow that path forgot how to live life. Life isn’t easy and it was never promised to be. Living life is knowing we have our issues, and finding ways to live our lives by embracing them and using them for the betterment of others, or learning to overcome them. I have PTSD and I am finding how to help others with it. I didn’t get here without falling down. I didn’t get to where I am today without facing down the wrong side life. We fall down and we get back up. We fall down and we have a choice, do we learn to ask for help, or do we try it our way? I don’t mean help by way of friends, family or professional help. I mean God. We are always going to be stumbling through life. We are always going to have one crisis after another, and every time we stumble or fall, we have an opportunity to learn how to ask God for help. True healing, true redemption is through Christ. The blood spilt on Calvary’s cross that day broke the bondage of slaves to sin, for a life free and full of choice to live in the light of Christ, or the shadows of the Devil.

Bad things happen to everyone, but we can choose to overcome. PTSD doesn’t define me, anxiety doesn’t define me, and no matter how much it hurts my childhood, and my divorces don’t’ define me. I didn’t ask for this life of pain and suffering, but here we are. I’m not perfect and I’ve made plenty of mistakes. I have not always held my tongue when I should have. I haven’t always said the nicest of words to my loved ones, but I try hard to be a man God would be proud of. I know my Savior is Christ, and I know that in his blood my mistakes are washed clean. I know that I will fall and make mistakes, but I know in God’s eyes my mistakes aren’t going to condemn me forever. We as a people should learn not to judge so quickly. We should learn to see the mistakes and keep an open mind. We are all human and we all screw up. Instead of a life of judgment, of ridicule, open your heart with love, and see through the eyes beyond the cover.

We have so many blessing in our life and we often overlook them in our waking moments. The gift of life, the breath we take and the days we have are the biggest blessing we take for granted. The poorest of the poor in this nation often have far more then those of other poor nations. We have food, and shelter, and we have people in our lives that care for us. As for me, I have more money then I need, maybe not as much as I want, but needs and wants are very different. I have my dogs, my mother, and I have a warm bed to sleep in. I have my car, and I am debt free. I don’t struggle with bills, and I don’t have to worry where my next meal is coming from. I have friends that care about me, and are there for me when I need them. I know that no matter how dark the darkest day, how deep my pain runs, and I know that no matter how bruised and bettered I become, Jesus is still right there going through it all with me. Jesus is my faithful friend, and the Abba of all is by my side.

I know this year’s been hard, and that I have posted about a lot of hardships and pain, but isn’t that what life is? It’s not about the hardships we endure; it’s how we endure them. Pain comes and when it does we are expected to use the sandals and dig in and hold our ground. Expressing hardships isn’t a sign of weakness or even a sign of complaining (in some cases) it’s about how we can find our strength to persevere in Christ our Savior. We know some days will be great, and others will bring more pain then we think we can handle. We will see the peace of the meadow, and we will face the valley of death, but no matter what our day is, we know one thing is absolutely certain, Christ our Savior is always with us. Psalm 23 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

Remember one thing if nothing else; we are never alone and we never know when our testimony will save someone else. We never know whom we may meet, and how we may affect their life. Let me help you if I can, let me be there for you if you need it. My email is always open if you need to talk about God. We are called to lean on one another and help lift each other up. We are called to bare one another’s burdens and use our tongue to lift up and never to tear down. We always have the opportunity to help our neighbors and I promise you, you don’t have to look far to find someone in need of love. Our world is a fallen one, shrouded in sin and pain. It’s the love we are taught to give that is our hope. We are told to Love as Christ Loved us, and we are told to do this to all of our neighbors, not just the ones we like. We cannot surly do this on our own and we were never expected to. We are taught to turn to one another, turn to God. We know that without Christ we are nothing and without the grace of God we cannot surely do anything. I know that today, yesterday, and tomorrow I’ve always needed my Lord. I am not strong enough alone. I am not brave enough on my own. I know that I didn’t survive Iraq without God’s protecting hands. I know the literal circle of protection surrounding my truck that day was nothing short of a miracle. I know when I was shot that without God’s grace I surly would have died. I know that I have needed God and I always will. The Lord is my Sheppard, my strength, my savior, and I know when I cannot stand I fall on the Lord. Jesus is the only hope I will ever truly need, and as my needs arise, I trust the Lord will provide, and provide always.

 

Fertilizing the Greener Grass

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Fertilizing the Greener Grass

What I’ve found is those who cheat, who have affairs, usually think the grass is greener wind up stepping in the fertilizer when playing in someone else’s back yard. The mental mindset that causes people to cheat or have affairs is broad and wide. There are many reasons for it, but the focus for today’s blog post is the aftermath, the destruction left behind.

I’ve been the victim of two vicious affairs. Two incidences where I have bowed out in peace although I attempted to fix the marriage both time, I wasn’t vindictive, or hurtful, not intentionally anyway. There’s a measure of physiology that tells us someone who’s done something horrible, will turn themselves into a victim, they will see you as their enemy, because they are projecting such strong emotions towards you to defect from themselves what they actually feel. Pain, guilt and shame are strong, powerful motivators, and often lead to the dark side. When they reach the other side of the fence, they realize the grass is so pretty and lushes, but there’s a secret, if you’re not very careful you’ll wind up with the secret on the bottom of your shoe. That’s right, I’m talking about the droppings in the hard that makes the yard so green. The other side isn’t truly greener, it’s greener because it’s littered with lies, and deceits, that you will get caught up in, and by the time you’re over there, it’s too late, and you can’t, or won’t go back to where you came from. We often hear that the grass is greener on the other side, but honestly it’s greener where you water it. The new feeling, that what’s full of joy, and shiny, and smells new, and we rave about it, will grow old, it will one day become vintage. The thing is just because it’s old doesn’t mean it’s broken.

A friend of mine has an old 1967 Chevy Camaro and it’s a beautiful car. In the right hands it’s been restored, improved upon, and made to look competition worthy. How great it is to own something so old, so out dated, and yet, restore it to it’s once former glory, and get so much enjoyment out of something so vintage. Where are we in relationships? When a relationship seems to stall do we throw it away because it’s not fun anymore? Sadly the answer is yes, most people do. Most people will forsake everything, to include their oaths in front of God even, to have the new and shiny. Most people will leave their spouses and their lives behind, forsake everything they once held dear in this life, and will chase after that shiny new toy. Sadly that new toy doesn’t stay new for long, and often it’s not as advertised.

Making sure we put our effort into our relationships, our marriages, our families, and even our jobs, we should make sure no matter where we are, or what we’re doing we maintain our environment. We have a great deal of responsibility with our lives, and how we treat those around us. No matter if it’s a coworker, wife, husband, children, or even our friends, we should always lift up, guide them in the ways of the Lord, and we should always make sure that our hearts are in the right place. We should always love those round us, even when it’s difficult. Life isn’t easy and because it’s not, we always need to know to take a bended knee and pray to the Father, our one and only hope for happiness, we must have the faith to let go of our pain, our past and push forward in our futures.

The grass is a conundrum. As obvious as it is for us to focus on what we have in our own yard, we must learn to stop watering the grass in a yard we don’t own anymore. Let me give an example. For a year now I’ve been separated. I have struggled letting go of that marriage, and as I’ve spent a lot of time focused on away to fix it, now after a year it feels as if I was trying to fix a yard that I don’t own anymore. We live in the past a lot. I have noticed that we often live on a fixed loop in our lives, and we get stuck on a particular event, usually one that’s tragic or hard to handle. The yard wasn’t mine to take care of anymore, and instead of focusing on my own yard, the new one, I let my own grass wither, and all that time I could have spent healing, moving forward with my own life, has been wasted. It’s hard not to focus on what we want even if what we want isn’t good for us. I’m not saying abandon the house at the first sign of trouble, but if it’s worth saving, it’s worth working on it. Don’t give up hope for where your heart is, but only if your heart is in a place where God wants you to be. Don’t give up hope, and never loose sight of the bigger picture. Always put God first, and He will tell you where you need to be focused. Don’t stay stuck in the past, and stay out of other people’s yards. Never forget to love your spouse, love your neighbor as yourself, and above all else, love your God with all your heart.

 

 

Live by the Tongue, Die by the Tongue

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Live by the Tongue, Die by the Tongue

The little thing we keep in our mouths is a mix between dangerous and amazing. The tongue has the potential to say the sweetest of words, sing beautiful lyrics, site-amazing poems, and express the deepest of love. The flip side is anger, hate, bigotry, and can often sew decent in any situation.

Proverbs 21:23 “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” When we live our life according to Jesus and the Holy Word, we must mind our tongue. When we consider the commandment of Love God above all with all your heart, and then love your neighbor as yourself, we must always remember that once spoken, words can never be recovered. Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” If we are lifting ourselves and other sup to the level Christ wants us to be, we must always lift up and not tear down. It’s not easy always minding the tongue, but it is something we are supposed to do.

When we love one another arguments usually happen. We have a choice however how to deal with those situations when they come up. Proverbs 12:18 “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” We often hurt our loved ones the most and we know just want to say just like plunging a knife in deeply. Why is it so easy for us to hurt the ones we care for? Knowing when to open your mouth and knowing when to keep it shut is a gift of patience and Holy Virtue. Proverbs 17:28 “Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” We need to remember sometimes it’s better to just shut our mouth and move on.

It’s very simple in concept, but probably the most difficult thing you’ll ever do. We as Christians must learn to control what we say. If what you speak isn’t used to raise someone up or help them genuinely, there’s no need to say it. So may kids today bullied to the point of torture, yet we stand idly by and continue to allow it to happen. Words do hurt, and we have a choice on how we want others to feel after talking to us. While it’s true we are not all gifted with speech, and we may not always say what we mean, or even know how to articulate the right words. It’s hard to articulate feelings, especially when feelings can cause strife. We must learn to articulate feelings in a way that doesn’t hurt your partner. While it’s not easy, it takes practice, and it takes the desire to want to know how not to hurt your loved ones, but with the right effort it’s possible.

If you live a life with love in your heart its easier to speak with love on your tongue. When you have anger, or hate in your heart you speak ill of people, you’re cruel and the words that you utter tear people down. Love and raise up, because in this world we could all use a little more love in our hearts. Love more, love often.

 

 

Falling For You

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Falling For You

Giving us a choice, we walk our path alone, but for how long? The blood spilt on hallowed ground, the choices we make from then on out is our cross. Can’t say what tomorrow will bring, can’t say what’s in our future, but as we grow, I want you in it, my Lord my God, show me the way.

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You entered my life and I wasn’t prepared for it. You wore down my defenses, and without a word you got in beyond the shield, beyond the moat, beyond the walls. I don’t know how I feel, but what I feel I feel for you. You’ve changed my life in a day, a gift from above. My God was looking out for me, I was given a gift a beautiful flower plucked from the darkness and brought into the light. You’ve given me no other choice but to love. I don’t know my future but I know my past. All I know is I don’t want to live in the dark anymore. The light in my heart shines brighter. You’ve altered my life, and you’ve made me better. You smile at me, and you’ve created much glee.

When things were so dark and gloomy you put a little love in my heart. I don’t know tomorrow, or the part you play, but you’ve changed in me a big,  big way. As the light may shine bright, and even if you leave, you leave me in a better place. God brought you into my life just like Jesus said. We just need to wait and see but the love that floats around cannot be taken for granted. Making the world a better place one day at a time.

Even if you leave tomorrow I will forever hold you tight. We never know how long we have, or what we need to do. Loving this day is all we are asked to do. Knowing what’s in the air and following the rose petals that life lies down, we can only do one thing, appreciate the day we have.

Jesus gave us life, gave us hope, and we cannot walk away from the truth. In the darkness we find light and the darkness runs in fear. The case is you’re my super friend. Jesus the first superhero, He defeated death itself, and gave us the love we needed but never deserved. So from that cue, we have what we need, right when we need it. I am meant to be wherever you are next to me my Lord. All my life I promise to keep running towards you my grace. I pray you grant me a love that will last, a love that stands apart. I pray for the woman to be my partner and my best friend. When you give me her, I promise to always run home to her, to cherish her and love her as you so loved us. I may not be worthy of such love, but I know one day when you see fit, you’ll give me that gift. To love and to hold, as you loved us. 2 Corinthians 9:7-9 “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency[e] in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. 9 As it is written,”

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The day grows dark, the hate rises from the depths of Hell, and all we can do is put love in our heart. It’s time to let go of the yesterday, be free from the pain that shackled you down, grow, and take a look around at the love that surrounds you. Make the world a better place and start with you. Be the light in your friends life, be the grace that people see, and know that Christ is working through you. Don’t let the perpetuation of hate continue in your life. Don’t let fear and doubt stain your sword. What more is there in this life that stands above love? Be the joy because Jesus lives in your heart and teaches you love.

While I search my heart for the right words, I’m left on the precipice looking over the wonders of the world. When I can think of nothing better then your presence, your smile, I know that you are more, you’re special in some way. No matter the time that passes I know you’ve forever changed me. Just as Christ has taken residence in my heart, you hold a place now too. Today, tomorrow, and always a difference forever made.

Service With Honor

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Service With Honor

In life sometimes there is one person we will connect with on a very special level. Ever since my time in this world I haven’t had a connection more then that I feel with my service dog. Riley has been with me for the last 6 years and in that time a connection has grown. Every day I go out she goes with me. That time together we have spent a relationship has grown for the both of us. She has never left me, she has never not been there watching out for me. She knows when I hurt and she does everything within her power to make that better. Her training has taught her to alert me when anxiety levels are high. She knows to watch my six anytime we are out in town. She alerts me if people walk up behind me, she protects me by passively standing in between someone and myself. She can walk with me while I’m using both hands to push a shopping cart and always knows just where to be. She doesn’t like when I’m not around just as much as I don’t like it when she’s not. I’ve grown to depend on her and she depends on me. In our life we will often have pets throughout our life. Riley isn’t my pet, she’s my best friend. When I come home if she’s not been with me she’s super excited to see me. She can’t wait to give me hugs and kisses. Yes I taught my service dog how to hug people. I will be her entire life, and even though she will only be apart of my life for a short while, the impact she’s had on me will be forever.

Riley has seen me through my darkest days. When I returned home from my injury last year she was there to help me when the quiet was banging on my eardrums. She was there for me when I cried. She laid in my lap, and she’d lick my face when I cried. She curls up with me at night providing warmth and comfort. While she’s incapable in stopping every nightmare I have, she’s always a constant presence for me when I wake up. Riley’s ability to take hand signals from me, her ability to listen to simple instruction, and then complex instructions. Her being out with me every day prevents me from falling into a situation where I could potentially be taken to the hospital. Though she’s not been able to prevent every anxiety attack, she’s certainly tried.

I was recently asked what to military dogs do? I’ve heard people say what a service dog is not, and say what a service dog doesn’t do. I’ve heard that a service dog would never ‘sniff’ anyone. I’ve heard service dogs shouldn’t need ‘spoken direction’. This couldn’t be further from the truth. While not every service dog requires focus like diabetes alert dogs, or seizure dogs, the ignorance of our society astounds me. Recently I learned that a local hospital I frequent often has a policy that only a small particular group is covered under the rule, Amputee, Seeing Eye, Hearing Impaired, are the only dogs officially covered. However the policy is all dogs are to be accepted so long as the dog isn’t causing any issues, and is behaving. The problem with this policy is the liberty it gives the employees to discuss services dogs. Recently I heard an argument between two employees about the definition of what service dogs do or don’t do. It was loud enough to interrupt my conversation with someone about my service dog. Military dogs are trained extensively prior to going into war. The military trains its dog to detect explosive materials and weapons. Military dogs can also detect drugs and other contraband. These dogs require direction, just like any other service dog. Even the best-trained dogs can have their issues. I recently saw a movie about a military bomb dog, and as you watch, you’ll see that no matter what a dog’s trained to do, a dog is still a dog. They will suffer from the same things people do. My dog for instance doesn’t like elevators or bridges. I’ve never understood why she doesn’t like walking bridges, but her fear is what it is. I have learned to work around her fear understanding we all have them.

 

Service with honor

If my verbal direction sounds like a problem, to that I say ‘Stay in your lane.’ People in our society have to have an opinion. People have to not just have an opinion they have to state their opinion, and instead of directing the appropriate questions to people who know, they argue and bicker. Another thing I’ve noticed is how some people will ask ‘why do they need a service dog, I don’t see anything wrong with them?’ This question upsets me a great deal. While I’ve studied mental illness, the affects of PTSD, and the cause of anxiety, if that person as a panic/anxiety attack, you hope they have their dog. Feeling that way is horrible, speaking from experience. Panic attacks cause an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, trouble breathing, and can often manifest dizziness. The calming affect from animals is evident through science. Trained service animals still take some kind of commands. Bomb dogs need direction, even hearing and other kinds of dogs all take commands.

All I ask is if you’re going to make assumptions on service dogs, perhaps you need to do some research first, or ask someone with a service dog. Please don’t pass judgment on those with service animals, and please don’t assume just because you can’t see any disability doesn’t mean they aren’t there.

service with honor 3

For those of us who’ve served we serve with Honor. We allow those who have served our country to suffer with PTSD, with the nightmares from the life we’ve lived. From today as we remember 9/11 we remember the fallen, and the survivors. We can only hope that we have learned from our mistakes, and remember service comes in many ways. The years after tragedy the ones who are left should be honored, the ones that have fallen are lost but never forgotten. No matter the season, no matter the day, those who serve write a blank check in the act of that service. Firefighters in New York, Police, and the New York Port Authority, wrote a blank check on this day 16 years ago. Soldiers have been writing that check for generations past, and generations to come. People who work in the services put themselves in harms way and we take off our hats to remember them. We learn to pick ourselves up, and we united in the months following 9/11. We’ve fallen wayside in the following years, and we ought to remember to slow down in our lives and we need to remember the simple truth, we are all human, not black, not white, not any other race, we are humans. We are also all Americans. We have a commonality far greater then what we live today. We all have Jesus Christ and in front of the cross we are judged the same. We are always on equal footing in front of God All Mighty, and thus we must remember to set our personal differences aside and join on equal footing to fight and defend this nation. We honor the dead by fighting, and we are not done fighting.

My service dog

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My service dog

I believe that in life God doesn’t want his children to be alone. I believe we are our best selves when we have someone special in our lives. While we have come a long way in our understanding of science and medicine we are a long way from being able to fully understand the workings of the human brain. Sometimes when someone is faced with PTSD there are many different symptoms to various degrees that someone may face. A particular service dog will be able to assist by doing particular jobs to prevent someone with PTSD from facing any number of symptoms alone. “A Specially Trained PTSD Dog can provide a sense of security, calming effects, and physical exercise that can make a positive difference in the life of those that suffer with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Like all assistance dogs, a psychiatric service dog is individually trained to do work or perform tasks that mitigate their handler’s disability. Training may include providing environmental assessment (in such cases as paranoia or hallucinations), signaling behaviors (such as interrupting repetitive or injurious behavior reminding the handler to take medication, retrieving objects and guiding the handler from stressful situations. PTSD Service Dogs can literally change the life of a Veteran or other persons with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD Service dogs can help a Veteran remain calm by preventing people from crowding around or rushing up behind in public places which will provide a comfortable space for the Veteran or PTSD sufferer.

PTSD Service Dogs can:

  • help adjust serotonin levels
  • help lower blood pressure
  • help with episodes of depression
  • provide companionship
  • calm their handler
  • preventing people from crowding around or rushing up on their handler

The above tasks represent what a PTSD service dog is capable of performing. Each PTSD service dog is specifically trained to their owners personal needs based on their medical condition and may or may not include the above tasked described.” (http://www.canines4hope.com/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-dogs-ptsd-dog-training-florida.htm)

Each and every day thousands of people to include veterans and non-veterans suffer from the symptoms of PTSD. It can be difficult to let go of the traumas of war. There are particular things that are a constant struggle for me. Going into a public place alone causes high anxiety. Having my back to a room, an entrance causes undue tension. My service dog Riley, provides 360 security for me. When I am standing at a counter she sits next to or behind me but always watching my back. When I am sitting someplace she is my vigilance, my battle buddy. She knows when stress and anxiety rises and she alerts me of that. My service dog has been my companion for 6 years now. She’s my rock when I need comfort, she’s my protector within the house, and she is my first line of defense.

You never know what someone may be facing under the surface. In recent months I have faced push back from a lot of different places regarding the need for a service dog. While this world understand a great deal of things, it’s lagging behind the service dog presence. While our understand of PTSD has grown in the last 10 years, we are finding the benefits of what service animals can do. While dogs have been used for many physical disabilities for years and years, the use for dogs to help treat PTSD symptoms is relatively new. Sadly the general publics understand is limited. Thus the problem it creates for those who have PTSD service dogs. While the misconception in the difference between therapy dogs and service dogs plagues our society. Many people who have therapy dogs contaminate the ideals of service dogs by misusing the terminology. Therapy dogs that provide a comfort to the owner while great doesn’t actually provide a medical purpose. Everyone can use a little extra comfort, but that doesn’t mean the dog has the same rights as a service dog. The issue isn’t the dog, the issue is the lack of knowledge about mental illness. Recently I was told people often see someone out in public and when they don’t look like they have a physical disability it’s assumed they don’t have a disability. The assumption that all disabilities are physical is a stigma in our world that must change. While there can be many uses for a service dog from diabetes, to seizures, to panic/anxiety attacks. All of these are very real and having a service dog can save their life.

The moral of the story is don’t be so quick to judge others. Stay within your lane and just because you don’t understand a situation doesn’t mean you need to. Just because you can’t see something wrong with someone doesn’t mean there isn’t. Don’t judge others and make sure before you jump to a snap decision you just don’t. Always have patience and respect for others around you. You can’t always see or measure a person’s pain because it’s not physical. While there are plenty of people who abuse the laws regarding service animals the same can be said about a great deal of other laws, i.e. social welfare services, social disability, insurance fraud, and many other ways people get around the system. Just because people abuse a system doesn’t mean it isn’t necessary. We must have faith that the greater good is being served. Education is the key, and we need to understand that things aren’t always as simple as they seem to be.

As for me, my service dog Riley is my closest friend. She goes with me everywhere I can manage to take her. She’s always with me and helps in ways people could never know or understand. Once more unto the breach. The fight for the rights regarding service dogs is continuing on. Dealing with the backlash of what people don’t understand is a daily constant when the wounds can’t be seen.

We never know what the future holds but what we know is we can only make decisions based on what we know when the time comes. The due diligence is on us to make sure we have as many facts as possible before coming to a decision. Snap decisions, or decisions without all the info can have major backlash. Pushing a viewpoint without expanding what we may know could have dire repercussions. Make sure we get the facts, it’s at the very least the right thing to do. James 1:19-20 “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” Even when people make poor or snap judgments about you, always try to maintain a reasonable and rational response. Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

 

HOLD ME

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 HOLD ME

My God my God I need your love. I need your grace, and I need your mercy. My God my God, I am lonely at night, and I need your love. My God my God, I’m afraid at night even though I fight with all my might. The silence in my world, I hate these silent nights. I want to calm my heart from the storm inside. My God my God, I’m on my knees, I’m praying to you oh Lord. Wrap me in your arms tonight and protect me. My God my God I trust in you, I believe in you. My God my God you can protect me from all these problems, you can free my soul, and bring me peace today.

My God my God please Hold Me today for I am weary. My God I read your words, and I hear your voice. I know of Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” I feel you here, and I stay on my knees. I know you Love me my God, and I know I am safe. I know that in time this nightmare will leave me.

Oh my God I trust in you. Ephesians 3:17-19 “So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” When the storm inside is strong, and it thunders so loud in the silence, I pray to you my Lord. Quiet the storm and protect my spirit.

My enemies are vast oh Lord, but not of man, of the loneliness I feel. Romans 5:8 “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” I know you gave me so much Lord, and I know I should not ask, but put your arms around me Lord and protect me this day. 1 John 4:16 “So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”

 Today, or this night my Lord, you will provide me happiness in your Holy Name. I trust in you, and I know that in my heart you are with me. One day I will find what I seek according to your will my Lord. You will raise me up, and protect me. You will give me serenity in my time of crisis. I do not hate my enemies Lord, and I pray for those who’ve brought forth pain unto me. I believe in you, and your commandments my Lord. 1 John 4:19 “We love because he first loved us.”

When I rest my head to sleep, I trust in you to give me peace. When I rest my soul I know where my truth resides. I tear down my walls and trust in you. I’m not looking for a miracle, just looking for some peace of mind. I know all things are possible Lord and in your time. Hold me tonight let me know it’s going to be all right. I am on my knees praying for a win, praying for a change, and I know it’ll happen. You gotta have faith, and I’ve got faith.