Tag: dogs

The Darkest Night 

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The Darkest Night 

I always knew this day would come. Nothing would prepare me for it though. The nightmare that awaited me, brought on by both time, and the corruption of this time, we call it sin. Many years ago, I adopted a tiny little pup, with big ears, big paws, and floppy ears. The shelter called her a shepherd mix. This little pup would grow up and she would become something much more than I ever thought possible. For the first two years of her life she would do basic puppy training. Over time, she began to display an aptitude for emotional empathy. Her natural inclination was to respond when my mood or anxiety became heightened. Could she be a service dog? Once her skill set was noticed, the training intensified and by the age of two she started light service dog work, by the age of 3 she became a full-fledged service dog, my service dog. The shelter called her Sweet Potato Pie, I called her Riley. Within a couple years as she grew in maturity, communication with her became seamless. She’d respond quickly, and she grew beyond my expectations. I could speak plainly to her, and she knew and understood what I said. Over the years we would grow closer together and would become inseparable. I would come to rely on her for my darkest hours, and daily tasks. She would wake me during nightmares. She would wake others if she couldn’t wake me. She was my battle buddy, my security, my companion, my closest and best friend. 

A couple months ago, a lump appeared on her front right shoulder. She had a tiny limp if she walked for a way. After an X-Ray it revealed it was a tumor. Whether it was malignant or not wouldn’t matter. She was too told for surgery to remove the entire limb. No, the tumor was a slow death sentence. Time is cruel. This sin filled world is full of darkness, and in reality, the only thing we can do about it, is live in the light of truth. What is truth? Who’s truth? Jesus Christ, is the way the truth and the life, and no one comes to the father except through Him. 14 years Riley was with me. 14 years we lived life in a symbiotic relationship. Every day I relied on Riley in my life. On Saturday the 27th of September my dear sweet Riley fell off the bed, she couldn’t get herself up. She flailed around as I tried to help her. In her flailing, her fear, she peed on the floor. She had never done that, because I never saw her scared like that before. How long would I let her suffer? Her ability to walk was diminishing, along with her ability to get onto the bed, and more importantly go up and down stairs. Time, it seemed, was just about up, and the bill that comes for us all, was about to be placed before me. As it was said in Dr. Strange, “The Bill Comes Due, Always.” 14 years was more time than I could have expected. I was incredibly blessed to have her in my life so long. She truly became a blessing in my life, and now, a day and a half after her passing, her presence is missed beyond words. I have felt as if a part of myself was missing. I have felt a heaviness and an emptiness I’ve never felt with anyone’s passing. I have lost a great deal in my life, but never has it felt like this. 

Service dog’s and their handler, their person, have a bond unlike most can fathom. People rarely rely on other people to that level. What happens when someone relies on another creature for nearly every aspect of their life? Riley would depend on me since of course she doesn’t have opposable thumbs. I would depend on her to help me live a normal life. She was not a pet, she wasn’t just a companion, she was so much more. Now, here I am alone, and I have to try and find how to live life without her. Perhaps it is death, that is the sweet release, especially for the believer, that believes Heaven is just a missed heart beat away. Having had major heart surgery recently, Riley was there during my recovery. I was in the hospital for a couple weeks, and when I got home should could barely contain herself. Less than a year later she would leave me. Death is easy, it’s the ones left behind that suffer. 

For many, they look for a savior, to shield them from the fires and wrath of Hell. While Jesus is most assuredly my savior, for me He is so much more. For me Jesus is Lord, He is King. He is the one who bore my punishment, He took my scars so in Heaven I have none. He bore the righteous wrath of God the Father, so I’d never have to taste the sting of eternal death. He bore my sentence so I could have a room in the Fathers house. Jesus is Lord first, and because Jesus is my Lord, I am saved. One day every tongue will confess He is Lord. I confess He is Lord already. One day there will be no more pain, no more tears. Even through a broken heart, I look to Jesus and praise His Holy name! There is no other God, no other way, no other name that can save. Jesus my Lord, my King, my Savior, you’re the Truth, the only way, the righteousness I could never be. Jesus, you are friend to those who weep, Jesus I give you my heart, my broken heart.

My closest companion may be gone, but I know that Jesus sits at the right hand of the Father and is the intercession on my behalf. I know the Holy Spirit is here to comfort me, the broken hearted. Life goes on as the world continues to turn. I may be in pain, but I cannot allow that broken heart to stop me from living life. I need to continue to face the trials of this life, and I need to lean on God’s strength, not my own. It is no doubt I hurt, but I must go on. Riley isn’t in pain any longer. She isn’t struggling to breathe, or walk. I miss her so deeply, and I hurt, but I can’t quit. I know that this world, and all of time is corrupted by sin, and one day this pain will be a thing of the past. I pray for those who are broken. I pray for those who find themselves having hate in their hearts. I pray for the spirit to come and create revival. I pray for the lost, they may come to know God, and seek a relationship with Him. 

Riley, I miss you. Rest well my dear. Your absence has broken my heart. I miss you so much. 

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Drive

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Drive

Sometimes in life when the dogs are hyper, and the stress is mounting, all you can do is go for a relaxing drive. Yesterday, I was sitting on the couch and my oldest dog Riley was restless. After playing with her, and trying to figure out what she wanted, I asked if she wanted to go for a car ride. She went straight for her Service vest and I said okay. Cooper my youngest dog, who doesn’t usually want anything to do with the car decided he also wanted to go, so we got in the car and started to drive. Before too long I decided to drive to the North Carolina, Virginia border, and then decided to go further. In total the ride was about an hour and fifteen minutes. While I was out driving it occurred to me, as long as there wasn’t much traffic it was nice to be out on the road. By time I got back home it turned out to be a nice time out with the dogs.

How often in life do we forget to take a moment for ourselves? I know for me, I need to schedule fun into my life because if I don’t I forget, and the mundane of life creeps along until my weeks or months have finally gotten to me. It’s important for all of us to remember that doing things we enjoy, and taking to recharge is essential. Christ often took time to retreat away from his friends to have quiet meditation, time to rest and spend with God. Luke 5:16(NKJV) 16 “So He Himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed.”

Christ was leading by example, and the example started in Genesis as we see God resting on that seventh day. It’s important to take time to rest, or even just go for a relaxing drive with the animals. For me, going for a drive with the Dogs was going for a drive with friends. While I was out driving I had time to turn to God. I listened to K-Love, which always plays good Christian music. I was reminded of the scripture in Matthew 11:28-30(NKJV) 28 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am [a]gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

In this verse you find a simple thought, come to Christ with everything you have, and in the power of the Holy Spirit, you shall be renewed. Christ took the burden of sin for us, so everything else in comparison is easy. Not saying we don’t suffer in this life, but it’s certainly better then fiery pits of Hell. Take time to recharge your battery once in a while. Take time every day to turn to God with praise, worship, and unloading your burdens. Have that relationship with God because there’s no other relationship that’s more important. We should all remember to find a little rest each and every day.

 

 

 

I a Disciple of Christ

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I a Disciple of Christ:

I a preacher and disciple of Christ call to you believer and non-believers.  You all have suffered long but I give you a message of hope. You grow weary from trial after trial. I give you hope in the storm. The storms will always remain but now I give you the light that shines through every darkness, brings hope to the hopeless, restores faith to the faithless, and heals the sick. John 14:6“6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” Even when 100 things are going wrong the hope will always remain. Do not forget what gives us the blessings of eternal life. The blood shed of Christ to fulfill the trinity that’s always been, down to the ground covering all of the earth in righteous grace forgiving us of our eternal sin.

You are not saved in chance, for you are saved with glorious grace. It brings our Lord joy for you to receive mercy. Jesus came not to be served but to serve, so shall we serve others before ourselves. Who are you? Do you know who you are, and can you tell others what defines you? Do others see you by the content of your heart, or do they see the hypocrisy that runs rampant in the streets? In God you will be strengthened and made sharp in the fires experienced here in this life. Walk by faith and don’t loose hope in the marathon. Run with endurance with trust in the Father as we look to the cross to be our finish line. Remember to fight the fight but do not loose sight of what it is your fighting for. It will never be the troubles you face that are the true fight, but the temptations and attacks of the Devil trying to break you. If God blesses your heart and sealed His graces, let no Devil, no demon, no man, crack the bonds made. No troubles shall break you or sink your ship. Always remember your why and the Lord will smooth your travels. The trials will be many, but that shall never remove your salvation or grace.

The Lord is a merciful God, and a loving God, but never tempt God. Never worship idols in place of God, and never lift anything higher lest you sin unknowingly. The love of money, and of possessions shall never bring you peace. The days of works shall never bring you salvation. The laws never will you keep though you shall surly try. Bring yourself humbly on bended knee to the Lord, and sing praises. I come to you a follower of the Lord, saved in my sins, forgiven of my trespasses, led by the spirit to bring you the good news shared to me. The long awaited messiah from the days of old came and spilt blood for all. We no longer live in darkness, and we shall not suffer long. The one way to peace is through our Lord Jesus Christ. Do not grow weary along the way for we remember the verses of Kings. Psalms 23“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2  He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.[a] 3 He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness[b] for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,[c] I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely[d] goodness and mercy[e] shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell[f] in the house of the Lord forever.[g]”

My biggest hope is in your travels you don’t loose sight of why we travel. I do not want you to loose sight of what it is we’re fighting for, and why. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day, the routine, but after a while we forget to live by the message. While I was watching the Book of Eli recently it kept with the message that Paul was telling the people of Ephesus, do not loose sight of the mission.

The Book Of ELI

Solara: I didn’t think you’d ever give up the book, I thought it was too important to you

Eli: It was, I was carrying and reading it everyday, got so caught up in protecting it, I forgot to live by what I’d learnt from it

Solara: And what’s that?

Eli: To do more for others than you do for yourself

In the Book of Revelation we see Ephesus applauded for their great works, but in the end, they lost sight of their first love. I believe this is referring to, you fought, but over time you forgot why you were fighting. We must be cautious in our walk that it’s not just sitting in the pew on Sunday, saying the prayers, singing the songs, but that it’s about allowing the word to invoke the Holy Spirit within us, renewing our flame for Christ and encouraging us to carry on fighting for our Lord. The spiritual battles wage on every day and night, and we are caught in the middle. We are soldiers on the front line and we must understand what’s at stake. Christ is destined to win the war, but nothing is written about you and I. We fight on the front line and we choose what side to fight for. There will be casualties along the way. We must pray with our might, give thanks to God for each and every one of our blessings, and always ask for guidance. When we become weary of the race, we see reminder in Ephesians 6:18-20“18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.” We as Christians must remember to wear our chains as a badge of honor. As Paul’s wordplay is not lost here, the Greek word used means a prisoner’s shackles, however, during that time ambassadors wore a gold adornment around the neck and wrists as a symbol of riches, power, and dignity of the government for which they represented. Paul I believe is speaking of course that he is in prison and he wears his shackles with pride as he’s in prison because of his teaching of Christ. He’s proud and through the entire walk with the Lord and everything he endured in the name of Christ, he found peace in the end that he writes to Timothy. 2 Timothy 4:7“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” Will you keep the faith in all you do? Will you remember what it is you’re fighting for? If you’re not fighting for the Lord, you may need to adjust your focus.

 

 

Accused and Apathy

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Accused and Apathy:

Recently I was accused of being a bad friend. I was accused of not being a good Christian man. If we’re honest about the good and bad in life I will say I am human and I will always fall short. Now, that being said I will always admit to my mistakes, but these recent accusations were completely and utterly unfounded. People often say things under the umbrella of emotions and when they do there’s really no telling what may come out.

Often when the truth is uttered those who hear and feel a conviction will lash out in anger. They are not slow to speak and they cause destruction left behind after the sound waves of their voice subsides. The wicked tongue is plentiful today. It’s all around us in the music we listen to on the radio, the movies and TV shows we watch, and even the voices heard in our very homes. Proverbs 21:23“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” No one seems to care anymore that communication is slowly dying. I’ve watched as excuse after excuse comes across my phone screen as to why a message was ignored for days, weeks, and sometimes longer. I’ve gotten every manner of excuses and while some are absolutely legitimate others are not. My biggest frustration is when I get the simple excuse I’ve just been busy. This verbiage, busy, doesn’t usually mean busy, it means ‘you weren’t a priority.’ Thus the excuse given really comes from a place of apathy. For those of you who don’t know what that means, I’ll give you the definition, Apathy: lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern. There was no concern on how someone would feel being left hanging, dangling there for weeks before a response was finally given, and that response never actually held an apology. See, what most people fail to realize is just as dangerous as the tongue is, as it’s probably the most dangerous weapon on the planet, it has the power to build, or destroy. Matthew 15:11“It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”

I have a good friend who has a few kids. He has often told me about his policy with the kids, the punishment for wrong doing will be equal to the crime, but the punishment for a lie on top of the crime, much more severe. This makes sense because we as Christians know we will make mistakes. We know that it’s not about if we screw up but when. The thing with those mistakes is using the tongue along with actions to try and make amends for that mistake. So many people are afraid to stand up and speak the truth, but more are perfectly content living in a world where they never have to face the consequences of their actions. So many now lash out, out of anger and never fully see the ramifications of those words because now everything is done over non-verbal, or vocal communications. People now are so quick to anger, so quick to shoot off a ill thought out text that things are said without thought, and likewise in that anger it’s so easy to hit a couple buttons and poof, that persons gone from your life. People in droves make rash, hurtful remarks and then run away before any defense can be made, thus destroying the very foundation of friendships, and relationships. Proverbs 12:18“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Proverbs 18:21“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” When we consider the power of the tongue and what we say, how it affects people in our life, we hold such power just a few inches from our brains. Many have little concern now about who they hurt, what they say, or why. On top of a lack of caring how our words affect people, the effect goes far beyond just what we say. A general apathy has sprung up in people all over the world. Since we have gotten to the point now where we don’t care what we say, how we say it, the other side of that coin is we don’t truly care about others. I’ve been in the online dating world for quite some time now, and I have noted on multiple occasions in the last 24 months that people just stopped caring about anyone but themselves. There’s no thought to the curtsey given to how we treat people. We ignore messages, we lie about the excuses to cause long delays in communications, and that’s if communication doesn’t stop abruptly without warning. I’ve always prided myself as being a very understanding person. I’ve watched people do horrible things that affected me and it wasn’t the mistake that hurt the most, it was lying to me about it. If someone doesn’t have the desire to have fluid communication often, a simple text to inform me of that would go a long way. James 3:10“From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.” When will we finally realize how our words and actions affect other people?

Something I’ve often wondered is when we are quick to anger and that anger leads to a wicked tongue, how then can that very same person say to the accused “You’re not a Christian man?” I have pondered this very thing for a little while now, and as I’ve gone back over conversations for a long while involving many people, I have come to a sad realization; the term Christian is perhaps the worst Apathy of all. How many Christians or self proclaimed Christians are there all over the world? How many of them would say, “I’m Christian, but it’s not important.”? How many would say they are Christian on Christmas, Easter, and maybe one or two sprinkled in the rest of the year? We see less then 19% of Christians now are involved Christians meaning, fewer then 19% open and read there Bibles more then 3 times a week, most far less if ever. How can someone stand there and pass judgment about doing nothing but stating facts, with no emotional bias, even if those facts don’t show someone in an appealing light? The answer is convictions. When we are confronted with our own shortcomings and we become angry we say and do things that are within its very nature, Sinful. We live in a world where truth is something convenient we don’t like to face.

We’ve become so consumed with self that we have such a deep apathy for other people. We don’t care how we hurt someone, or why. We don’t care to lead someone along only to drop them from the side of the cliff. Apathy my friends is a disease that is plaguing our society. The invention of texts, and online dating have created a gap in the human condition that now allows people to do what they wish and never having to see the fallout from their actions. Being accused recently of being a bad Christian, and treating my friends badly, is obviously coming from someone who is hurting badly themselves. Truth however, no matter how painful is always the best way to go. The truth is, people can be cruel, and manipulative and hold nothing but apathy for you. All we can do is love, pray, and continue to lean on God’s word the best we can. We are people and we will make mistakes. People always need to be forgiven for their trespasses, and thus we must always ask for forgiveness of our trespasses. Never loose sight of the hope that springs in the horizon every day. We may be accused but our accusers who flee before a defense do not seek answers or retribution. Those who spit venom and run away are nothing shy of cowards. Those who hide behind technology afraid to face their own fallout are cowards. Do not worry yourself with these types of people, no, I say to you my brothers and sisters, forever pray that God opens their eyes to see, warms their hearts to feel, and blesses their souls with empathy and love. Are you the sword or just a poor reflection? Don’t loose hope for, while God is still sovereign over all, there will always be hope.

 

 

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Don’t Be Something You’re Not

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Don’t Be Something You’re Not

My dog Cooper lies in the sun like a lizard. He lays on the blacktop and soaks up the rays. He reminds me of a lizard under a heat lamp. If it’s just a little cool he shivers. He’s a big, thick dog and you would think he’d be hot, but no, he embraces the high North Carolina temperatures and humidity. My other dog Riley hates the heat. She takes after me, embracing the cool, and stays out of the high humidity. A lot of Christians are like this. They claim to know Jesus but truly, if they understood what happened on Calvary’s cross and truly respected that sacrifice their actions would be so deplorable. If you’re going to call yourself a Christian, at least act like it.

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People often try to adapt to their surroundings. I’ve seen friends change in a day because who they were, depended largely on what group of friends they were hanging out with. When people change their behavior to be accepted they are putting on a mask and lying to themselves. What is your true self? Who are you really? For myself, I’ve always had a strong desire to fit in. I’ve struggled for years to find the place where I belong. It’s not easy for some people. Recently I took a test to learn a little more about myself. I wanted to be able to examine and study who I am and why. In the 16 different personality types I’m what’s known as an INTJ or also known as an Architect. Apparently it’s one of the more rare personality types. For the purposes of this post we will focus on relationships.

“They spend a tremendous amount of time and energy trying to understand why and how things go wrong, especially if they’ve devoted themselves to the relationship, and they certainly hurt deeply when things fall apart.”(16 Personality Types/ Architect)We Architects prize open and honest communication. While I do stand a part a bit from the average INTJ, I’m a bit more centered with my emotions, except for painful ones. This type gave me the ability to compartmentalize very well. My downfall is in the negative feelings in life. I tend to hurt more, but hide it when bad or traumatic things happen to me. My moral compass is in Jesus, so when the profile says we architects do what’s right, to me Jesus is what’s right. Now let me stop for a moment. I’m not saying I’m perfect, not by a long shot, but what I am saying is that’s what I aspire to be. I will almost always choose to do what’s right, based on known facts. I tend not to make many emotional decision. Because I use facts to make a decision, sometimes that comes across as impulsive, or that I haven’t moved to quickly into something. The truth is, I haven’t. I have on occasion gone against my better judgment in the attempts to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Needless to say, had I listed to my younger self, I could have very well saved me from a lot of heartache.

In Relationships I look for tangible connections. I desire to grow in my social life, however I want deeper connections, not surface fluff. One main addition to the contrary of emotional support average for INJJ, I have had life push me into a position where It’s vital I am empathetic and understanding. When it comes to helping others I’m far better at helping others then myself. One interesting trait for the INTJ is our sarcasm, dark humor and our story telling. I suppose that’s why I got into writing. “Architects have exacting expectations for intellectual prowess, uncompromising honesty and a mutual desire to grow and learn as sovereign individuals. Architects are gifted, bright and development-oriented, and expect and encourage their friends to share this attitude.” (16 Personality Types/ Architect)

 In My career I have found I work best either alone or in small groups. One thing I’ve found to be true is when I look at my supervisor and see a lack of maturity or incompetence, or their style to be ineffective I loose respect for them. This is a common quality in the INTJ. Very rarely have I ever rebuilt what was lost. I always want to grow, evolve, and improve upon situations and never do I settle for becoming stagnant or complacent. I have always said “If I can’t trust you with the freedom and space to do the job your own way, you wont’ be here.” I am not a micro manager. I expect the task to get done, to be done well, and right the first time. I care little how that’s accomplished. I realize we are all different and our creativity and resourcefulness is important to who we are. I strive for efficiency and expect my subordinates to do the same. “They have the ability to both develop and implement a plan for everything, including their own personal growth, moving forward with the strength of will that can both amaze and frighten those around them.” (16 Personality Types/ Architect)

I have always tried to fit into what I believed was the accepted norm. I look at Chandler from ‘Friends’ as kind of being like me. I am a joker, but a fierce friend. I value a small close relationship with people. I value people I can have deeper conversations beyond the basic surface stuff. I live by a simple code, live life as Christ would have you. Love and respect those with whom you come into contact. Be understanding with an open mind and try to live in a judgment free zone. I value truth, openness, honesty, and compassion for others. Respect is to be earned and needs constant effort. We are all people created differently by God, and for a different reason. We have different passions, different opinions, different lives, but we all have one thing in common. We are all Human Beings that sin. We are all saved under the blood. Galatians 3:28 “28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave[a] nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” We shouldn’t try to chase the love and admiration of other. Be the best you, you can be, that was created by God for a particular purpose. Galatians 5:22-25“22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.” We must assess our gifts and find our path in God. Seek wise counsel when needed. Proverbs 11:14“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” We will always fail when we don’t trust God’s path for us. Do not try to bulldoze your way through a problem. Pray, retreat, ponder, seen counsel, and trust in the Lord. Psalm 23:2-3“He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.[a] 3 He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness[b] for his name’s sake.” Be who God intended you to be and stop trying to be what you’re not.

 

 

 

Beauty with Thorns

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Beauty with Thorns

One thing I’ve seen in my day, but especially in the last two years is sometimes the prettiest of faces has the darkest of hearts. There are so many average to below average ‘beautiful’ people in this world because true beauty lies beneath the surface. As society has grown we’ve become consumed with self image. We’ve become a nation, a race of shallow, self absorbed, egotists, that cares more about looks and self, then anything else.

The rose is considered by many to be the most beautiful flower on the planet. In fact the rose is the flower of love. As beautiful as it is, it can also be dangerous. While on the surface a rose is beautiful and a rose bush is magnificent but if you look further down beneath the surface a substantial about of razor sharp thorns. If you were to fall into a rose bush you would undoubtedly come up with a plethora of cuts. Just because something looks beautiful on the surface doesn’t mean it doesn’t have thorns.

As an average looking man trying to find a serious relationship, I have encountered obstacles I never would have dreamt of. As the venue for meeting people still ranks highest through mutual parties, that is largely based on your own number of friends. The second way most often used sounds like it should be easy to meet people, but there in lies the pitfall. Friends must have friends who are single. Friends must also be plentiful and if either of those isn’t the case, using relationships may be difficult. Social online dating apps highlight one thing in particular, your photo. Sadly that means the decision to go forward starts with a physical attraction. In order to get to the meat of the profile a decision is made based on the cover of the book. We are in a swipe left or right generation and guys like me get passed over. It’s getting harder and harder as the clock ticks by to stand by and feel helpless to change anything. This period of my life has tested my endurance, but not of my faith in God, but my hope to a brighter future. This has tested my own self-confidence, and I can say with certainty my self-esteem has been damaged in these two years.

We know that faith in all things belonging to the Lord takes endurance. The true test comes in times like these when we are made to wait. The trial continues and perhaps one day, hopefully soon, the tide will turn and instead of endurance, a message of praise and celebration will cross this page. Hope remains as the trust in Jesus is strong. Constant prayer and study have kept my course true. Though I tire, the love of Jesus renews my faith. Stay strong and lean on the Lord when you are tired.

People will judge you before getting to know you because that’s what people do. First impressions are important because you can never go back and try again. Sometimes you can redeem a first impression, but rarely. It’s important to know that your impression as a Christian is at the utmost importance. We must be beautiful people in Christ and we must allow our actions to speak for themselves. 1 Peter 4:4“Of course, your former friends are surprised when you no longer plunge into the flood of wild and destructive things they do. So they slander you.” Don’t let people of your past force you to change who you are. You may not be the most attractive person, but don’t allow peoples negative opinions force you into situations that would not be becoming of a Christian. We may want to compensate for average looks by trying to find other ways to please the Lord. I present you a caution of changing and how far you take that change. Galatians 1:10 “Am I saying this now to win the approval of people or God? Am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant.” As far as other people are concerned. John 7:24“Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.” We should never be most concerned with the looks of something, but the inside of their heart. While yes attraction matters, do not let that consume you. Our society has placed so much emphasis on what beauty is, and it has changed our thought perception along the way.

We are warned in scripture about judging by the clothes people wear, or how they look. Even though the warnings are so clear, we fail to live up to scripture, and I would go as far to say we are sinners in our judgments. 1 Samuel 16:7“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” The Lord looks into our hearts and sees the wickedness that rests within. The Lord knows every dark or evil thought we’ve ever had. We must do better at how we treat others, and how we represent ourselves. Looks aren’t everything, and sadly, it’s hard to overcome the world, but we must try.

James 2:1-5“My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him?”Good things come in all shapes and sizes but is it good, or just look good? Be careful of the golden goose that may bring misery and not fortune. 2 Peter 2:1“But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction.”

 

Bullies

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Bullies

Sometimes in life you will encounter a person in power and they will be more or less a bully. I’ve been in situations where I’ve had bosses or supervisors that no matter what I’ve done or tried to do, nothing was ever good enough. I think we’ve all encountered people in our professional lives that just made the work experience near unbearable. A friend recently told me, “you don’t quit jobs, you quit managers.” I had never thought of leaving a job like that before. When I put a little thought into it, I realize that most of the time when I have not liked a job, it turned out to be the boss that made it the worst.

The Devil is a bully. He will push you, lie to you, and attempt to break you. The Devil hates you for all that you are. Isn’t it wonderful though that we have a God that loves us for who we are? We never have to work for that love. We’re not judged with how much we work, or how many brownie points we can get. God is fully aware of what’s in our heart and our motives. It’s the love that matters.

When you encounter a bully in your life there are millions of ways people will tell you to handle them. In my own life I have heard the, ‘just ignore them.’ Advice. I have heard the, ‘make fun of yourself right along with the bully,’. I have heard ‘stand up for yourself, by any means necessary.’ While each one of these is very popular, I would suggest turning to the bible to find your true good advice Matthew 5:43-48“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers,[a] what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” We cannot allow ourselves to loose sight of God. We must not allow ourselves to succumb to the darkness. Anger, and hate lead to the dark side. We must stand firm. We must never loose control in anger. 2 Timothy 1:7“7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

It’s easy to get wrapped up in our anger and that anger can blind us to the path that’s best for us. That anger and rage that can bubble up from years of torment, or physiological torture, can be hard to control. We must never set out to find our own vengeance though. Violence always begets violence. We cannot expect to change the world by physical means. Romans 12:19-20 “19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it[a] to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” If your bully attacks you, ask if you can pray for them. If they attack you, ask if everything’s okay at home. Bullies often have misguided anger or rage. Do not hate the bully nor pass judgment upon them. We never know someone’s circumstances, and while it never excuses their actions, it may provide some incite. Generally, hurting people hurt others. We cannot allow ourselves to let our tormentors to breach our heart with hate. We must not allow hate to take route in our souls. 1 John 2:9 “Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.”

We must stand firm on love. Let love be our war cry and in everything we do, and everything we experience trust in the Lord to save you, and pull you through. Psalm 18:3 I ” call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” We have to trust in the Lord to deliver us from evil. There will always be bullies for as long as there is anger and hate in this world. Bullies feel the need to be in power. Bullies feel the need to be in control and those in control often feel they have to force their subordinates into submission. Matthew 5:38-41“I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” The bullies we have will beat you and hurt you emotionally. They will continue to try to break you down and look forward to seeing you breaking.

We have all encountered these people in our lives. Many have experienced bullying in school, and some in the adult world. Those difficult people are everywhere and in our struggle we must pray to be delivered from the hands of the enemy. Psalm 82:4 “Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” No matter the trials that befall you, you get back up and never let your own worth reside by the hands of your enemies. We must remain strong, and trust that we are worth more then what others can make us feel. Proverbs 24:16“for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.” We must always get back up. We know that for every fall we rise in strength, and we can be stronger then before if we learn a lesion with each fall. Finally I will say do not attack your attacker. We must learn and I must reiterate the importance to not attack your attacker. I am not saying do not defend yourself in the event there is a physical altercation, but what I am saying is never attack out of anger. If you are being physically assaulted you should leave that situation and find help, or defend yourself and at the first chance remove yourself from your situation and again go find help. Stand firm in your faith and with love and compassion live your life. 1 Peter 3:8-9“8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.”

Keeping you Down

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Keeping you Down

Have you ever looked at your life and thought, ‘I just can’t get ahead.’? Have you ever thought why that might be? I have a theory on that, and if you’d like to hear it, keep reading.

Our own sinful nature is often a good place to start when it comes to keeping us down. The second place to start is temptations. If you’re an angry child and you don’t get your way you throw a temper tantrum. You make a scene so everyone around can witness the injustice you’ve been dealt. In this case the Devil is the angry child throwing the tantrum. Know that the God who sits on the throne in heaven does not ever tempt us to do wrong. James 1:13 “When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone” We must learn to see with the eyes gifted by the Holy Spirit and become wise of scripture. Do not allow the ideals of this world to confuse you on the truth. God will allow us to enter into a trial for us to turn to Him, for us to turn to scripture, and for us to call upon the Holy Spirit to guide us in the ways of Christ.

If you are following the path of Sin and constant temptation you are allowing the Devil to tempt you and thus you are not walking in the Lord. If you are not walking in the Lord you have essentially turned your back to God and decided you wanted to do things your own way. If you feel you are not being blessed by  God and God isn’t hearing your prayers perhaps the first thing you need to do is ask if you’re truly walking with Christ or are you walking in the ways of the world. I would hypothesize that most people who are being kept down are actually there of their own accord. I believe that most people who are suffering through hard times, though not all, are actually suffering because of a choice or choices they have made that have led them down that path. Let me us this as an example:(You’re a wife and you decide to have an affair. You decide not to put your marriage first but your lust of another. Then when that fails you decide not to return to your husband who’s waiting with open arms, but continue on the path away from your marriage. You enter into an inappropriate marriage, which could affect your job. You make bad choices with that new person and eventually it costs you your job. From there you then turn to substance to help deaden the pain you face, and eventually leads to a traffic stop in which you are caught. This in turn affects your ability to get a new job, and affects where you live, and even when your husband still accepts you home, you choose not to return.) In this situation it’s clear some bad choices were made, but the biggest thing to take away is the path away from God. God wants a relationship with you, but he will never force his will upon anyone until he decides it’s time to punish his children. Punishment for disobedience will come, and when it does we cannot get mad at the father, we must look to ourselves to ask why we were in a position to get punished. God will never punish us for doing good or for following his path. If we choose to allow the Devil to tempt us, to draw us away then we are allowing ourselves to be drawn down a dark path. We ourselves will be the ones holding back from the blessings of God. The Devil wants to tempt us away, lure us into the van with a yummy piece of candy. The Devil wants to destroy our relationship with the Father because he was God’s favored child till he created humanity. He became jealous and when he turned on God he vowed to rise up and destroy him. He is a jealous son, and he is taking it out on humanity.

If you feel you are being kept down, perhaps you need to evaluate your current situation, your current choices, and then decide if you are walking with God or not. We must accept that our choices will have consequences. Those choices may have a lasting effect on our life and we can’t blame God when things don’t go well. We must understand that we can be the maker of our own struggles and accept that finding a path out may not be easy, and sometimes a choice may haunt us for the rest of our life. We can avoid that if we just walk with God and not the flesh. We often bring most of our own hardships upon ourselves, but not all. Life can be a cruel place and it can be a challenge to live in a peaceful state here on Earth. Have faith in the Lord and be sure to study scripture. Be sure to live in the world but never conform to it. Be sure to praise God for the good and bad, because in the bad we will often learn our most valuable lessons. Do not fear the storm, instead embrace it and come through better then you were. Fight the fight with Jesus by your side and you will find God will never leave you nor will he forsake you. Hold your head high even in the battles, and if you follow God, in time, you will be delivered from the fire and green pastures will be your resting place. Faith is not easy, and living in this fallen world isn’t easy. Temptations are everywhere you turn but learning to see them, and learning to avoid them will be a big step in your Earthly happiness.

 

Sleep Deprived

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Sleep Deprived

I cannot stand on my own two feet.

I fall to my knees and raise my hands.

I cannot see through my tears but I know you’re there.

I struggle to see myself the way you do.

I believe because I’ve felt.

I trust because I believe.

I have hope because I know.

I ain’t the same as I was yesterday.

 

I have wondered lately where I’m going, and if my new path is the right one. I have prayed about it, and even then, I’ve not found the answer to my prayer. I’ve been so tired I can’t concentrate completely. I have felt doubt about myself in my ability to work, in my personal life on many fronts, and my place in this world. The things that have been said to me this week have left me wondering much about myself. I’ve never thought of myself as selfish, and yet, to be called selfish by someone so close to me and so special to me, hurts me deeply. I don’t have many male roll models and for one that I look up to yell at me that I’m a selfish person, hurts. I cannot seem to get beyond the things said to me, and especially after all this time I felt like I had been growing, now I question if that’s true. What if I’ve been wrong about myself? I guess, what I’m saying is even the strongest of us needs prayers some times. So today, I shall take a step back and ask for those prayers. Pray for me that I find the wisdom in those around me. Find the path that God has for me. Pray for the strength to fight the spiritual warfare and come out believing in myself.

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Today…. Today I don’t feel like a hero. Today I don’t feel like a winner. Today I find myself broken, and downtrodden. Today, I find myself in need and reaching out. Today I feel like I have failed and that I have achieved nothing. Today, I feel as if I’ve failed God. Today I feel as if I’ve failed my friends. Today I feel like my faith is shaken, and I don’t know how to find it. I read the words, and I say the prayers, but as I hold back my tears, I find myself loosing myself in despair. Today, my faith needs more faith. Today, I find myself hurt and low. Today, I feel like I’m standing still and if I move I’ll shatter, and I won’t be put back together again. Today my heart’s in pieces.

 

Hope in a Hero

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Hope in a Hero

 John 16:33“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

 Who’s been down to the bottom of the barrel? We all have our struggles and our trials. Have you put your hope or prayers in someone? If you’re anything like me you’ve put your hope and faith in a person and that person dropped the ball. For me, I have been down to the woodshed of life a few times. I’ve been down and broken more then a time or two, but I’ve always managed to get back up. I can honestly say I didn’t get back up on my own. I have struggled with my wounds, and I’ve been struck a time or two. My whole life I wanted a father. My whole life I wanted an earthly father to look up too, someone to teach me what it was to be a man. I have found in my life one man who I had, for a while, then like many others, in the blink of an eye, that man was gone. I placed my faith in a man and when the time came they were gone. I placed my love and faith in a woman and in the blink of an eye she was gone leaving the family broken. My life was shattered and I laid there trying to find who I was. I was a let down to those around me. I was a failure, and a nobody. Recently someone I looked up to told me I was selfish because I needed, wanted a friend to be there for me. Some would say I haven’t learned anything in the last 20 months. While I will admit perhaps it’s true, perhaps I am selfish, perhaps my ex-wife was right and I am a selfish, arrogant, egotistical, narcissist.

I don’t know what I am, and to be honest, I often think my place in this world is a mistake. While I don’t have much faith in myself, I have to believe that God wouldn’t make a mistake. I know Jesus was a hero of man, a savior to be a great gift to humanity when we didn’t, we couldn’t ever disserve it. Jesus was a superhero among men and came with unlimited cosmic power but was no Genie. He came with a big heart and mercy we could never understand.

When the world has beaten me down and I’m covered in the lies, I know I need you. When the days are dark, and I have no faith, I know I need a hero. I wait for a hero and I know, when I pray, just barely a whisper and the hero of the universe hears my cries. I need a hero to save me tonight, and I know that the hero of my dreams will be right by my side. What is a hero, but a savior who comes in the darkness? Someone who saves you from the hopeless and who saves you when the wolves come howling and growling in the night. God is our Hero and the breath of God lives in each and every one of us. Because God lives in each of us, sometimes God calls us to be heroes among men but we are nothing without God. When we look to the Lord we know that through us God will do great things. God calls on us when the time comes to rise above the darkness and shine a light down for others to see. We must not run from God because we already have the second chance and we can’t waste it.

In the universe there is no one stronger, fiercer, more powerful then our God. We sing our praises to the Lord and believe in the power and love of our God. No greater love then our God. If we are to hope we must hope in our God because there is no other true hero. God makes heroes and those who raise up earthly heroes is a hero above all others. God is a healer, a mercy that’s unfailing, a place for the weak, a place to take refuge from the storm. A hero that can calm any storm, restore any soul, but a stopper in death, and a God that is faithful to a covenant that was paid for in blood. My Hero my God that saves me from the darkest of nights, the deepest of holes, and the strongest of oceans, and I am lifted to safety. I lift my hands to the true Hero in my life. I may not have ever had a Dad, but in my Lord I find my Abba, my Father. My father gives me strength. He teaches me how to be a man, and I will not let people tear me down. I will not let the hurtful words break me. If I am wrong I will listen and make things right, but the judgment and approval I seek is that of my one true Abba. I am waiting on my Hero my Lord to save me. I wait through the storm, I will wait through the pain, and I will keep my faith, keep my footing and trust in my service to the Lord while I’m waiting to be delivered from my pain. Please my God, do not let me fail, do not let me fall. Please my God hold me up and hold me tall. I’m waiting for my time my Lord to show me the way out of this darkness. I am not perfect Lord but please give me strength, give me the guidance, show me my path, and I will take the steps in obedience while I wait for you my Lord, my King, my Abba. I’m not worthy, and I never will be, but my Lord I’m waiting, I’m holding out for a hero to save me.