Tag: darkness

The Pull Of The Dark Side

thearrowpreacher1 Comment

The Pull Of The Dark Side 

It’s easy to get swept up in the every day minutia of this world. The world wants to separate you from God. The world is ruled by the once most beautiful of all of the angels who betrayed God, and orchestrated a rebellion and attempted to overthrow the heavenly kingdom. It’s shocking how fast the doubt, the uncertainty, and the worry creeps into your life when you’re not being careful. Even when you are feeling alone, like you’re the only person on the planet, know that you are sitting on a well of vast untapped love and grace from a father who adores you above all else. You are perfectly and wonderfully made for a purpose. 

I have often given people chance after chance after chance in my life, giving people opportunities to repent, to forgive, and even chances to come back into my life knowing what the eventual outcome would most likely be. I wonder why I fail to give myself those same chances. Why have I not seen my own worth or my own value, as I have seen in other’s. Why have I not seen the goodness within myself to forgive myself, or to be patient with myself when I have often gifted those things to others? The truth is while I spent time looking for earthly comforts, people to be in my life, people to talk too, to fill a chasm, it spreads because the world cannot fulfill that gap inside. The world’s promises are empty and cannot fulfill what feels like it’s missing. For the only fulfillment of one’s soul is found in Jesus Christ, who gives help to the helpless, faith for those who are faithless, and the joy for those who live in despair. This is the way for those who are wayward. For those who are lost in the wilderness unable to navigate the worlds treacherous environment there is hope, there is a savior who is come to free us from bondage, to show us the way, to lead us out of the wilderness and to the land of Sweet honey. The way is Christ, the only way the truth and the life.

Problems come up in our lives, disagreements, differences of opinions, etc. In recent years I have felt both connected and disconnected at the same time. The struggle to find the balance between truth, and feelings has been difficult. I have been thinking about that balance and considering the balance in the Jedi. Most Jedi see balance as removing what is toxic of the force, thus bringing balance to the light. Some people believe that balance of the force is more gray rather then black and white. Gray Jedi bits of both light and dark sides of the force. But how does that relate to us in the real world. I think balance is finding the peace within. As Sirius Black says “The world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters. We’ve all got both light and dark inside us.” (Harry Potter, Order of The Phoenix) We as Christians must realize that while everyone has an opinion based on point of view, the fight of good and evil, or rather God and the Worldview, is something we must all take very seriously. Of course there are hills to die on, and hills not too, but I urge Christians to check themselves. When or if engaged in an opinion-based conversation, be sure to check that opinion and ensure it lines up with scriptural teachings. The Bible is not a book where you can pick out what you like, and toss aside what you don’t. Now, this does not give you the right to start throwing judgments around at people. Sin is rampant in this life, and surrounds each and every one of us. As Christ said, “For the one who has not sinned, throw the first stone.” We will see sin all around us, but as I have said before, just because something is true, doesn’t mean it’s helpful. Now, that being said, people will follow whatever form of logic they want, even those who know scripture may choose to ignore it to suit their own personal opinions. 

So here’s my advice, don’t engage in those who ignore truth. And reverting back to my original point, find truth in the infallible word of God. Sin is what leads us to doubt ourselves. Sin is what leads us to question our worth. Sin is what leads us to find comfort in all the wrong places. Sin, is by definition anything that is self-serving that separates us from God. We must learn to find the balance within, which is often attacked from outside sources. Temptations from Satan, attacks from others, forgotten by friends, abandoned by loved ones, they will all come and go at some point in your life. Where are we in our walk to learn how to handle and manage these types of things? Where am I? I don’t really know where I am. I’m a broken, sinful mess, but I’m a work in progress. As scripture teaches us, God uses broken things. 

Even in our brokenness, God uses those willing to serve. Are we able to look past ourselves and see who we are meant to be? How do we make choices in our life? I am quick to give others grace, but not myself. How do we deal with difficult people? How do we deal with the doubt within ourselves? Scripture gives us guidance and instructions for life, but do we read and study it? Are we truly knowledgeable about Gods word and teaching? We can be such an opinionated people, but truth is, the only opinions that matter are those of our Lord and Savior Christ with the Father. There will always be hot button topics, and while some are up for debate, some in scripture are not. Faith in the Word gives us guidance and comfort and we desperately need that. 

I find myself viewing the world different then I used too. People aren’t always easy to get along with, and if I’m honest, I have found myself less patient, more irritable, and it seems clouded are my thoughts. Am I afraid of the future? Am I afraid of my path? I think perhaps I have become afraid to fail, and I have looked down at myself as a failure. The pull of the dark side is strong and it takes a considerable amount of effort to maintain a steady path. While I am not sure what tomorrow will bring, I have to consider and maintain that life isn’t always as clear-cut and black and white as it used to be. Life can be complicated, but in that complication rests the assurance that no matter where we go, or what we encounter God is with us. It isn’t easy separating ourselves from the world. It isn’t easy looking at ourselves through a different lens then that of the world view. The world teaches young girls how they should look and dress. The world teaches young boys about gangster lives, and how to treat a woman. Mothers raise children alone. The world teaches young girls about their self worth, but the same goes for young boys struggling to find their value. 

Our value can be found in Christ, but there are a lot of pitfalls in this world. There are a lot of things pulling attention and those competitors can be a strong pull to the dark side. The influences that come from this world can and often do cloud our Christian view and if we aren’t careful we can fall into a pit of false doctrine, secular ideas, and we can loose ourselves in the world, and fall away from the light. 

We are all valuable to our Lord, and will never find fulfillment in this world apart from Christ. We have to remain vigilant in our studies with the gift the Lord gave us. I sometimes need to be reminded that the world does not dictate who I am. The people in my life who come and go do not account for my value. Peoples opinions do not always line up with scripture, but no matter what side of the fence you are on, we are all sinners. Sin while a wide scope can be tricky to handle. Worldviews can be dug in to a persons psyche and their personality. Life is not easy and life is certainly not simple. Delicate is the path of the light side. We do not want to push people away, but also don’t want people to be led astray by the world. We ourselves do not want to be led off course by a secular worldview. Have faith in the Holy Spirit to guide you. Let it flow through you, around you and fill you up. The Holy Spirit is all around us and will guide us if we allow it too. Trust in it, and stay away from the lure of societies worldviews. 

It Can’t Be All Bad

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

It Can’t Be All Bad

Recently I was reading the news. It’s a chore now that I don’t enjoy doing, but I want to stay at least somewhat informed of big issues or happenings around the world. As I was skimming through the headlines, I quickly remembered why I don’t enjoy reading the news, IT’S ALL BAD! I searched for a while only to find a few ‘throw away’ posts but nothing really of anything extraordinary. Here’s the thing about news though, the things that are most popular is what you’ll find. Nothing sells better like bad news, or something sexy.

I was looking at new ways to light my Hogwarts Lego castle and I moved the internal lights to the front to light up more of the exterior of the castle. When I did this I realized I could see areas of the castle I hadn’t seen at night before. It got me thinking about the news and what we see, or rather what we choose to see. Things can only stay in the dark if we don’t shine light on them. The shadows that haunt this country, or even those that haunt us as individuals can only remain shadows if there’s not enough light to force the shadow away. If there’s a dark spot we should be able to turn the light on and force that darkness to retreat. Of course the excessive bad news is the work of a sin-ridden world. We know that the sin will continue to grow, and it’ll continue to spread like a wildfire cancer upon this earth. The sin will grow and become more visible as long as Christians don’t take control of how things are run. Christians have allowed our own homes to fall to the deepest depravities and we do nothing. Men leave their responsibilities as women are having children more and more out of wedlock. We see child crime on the rise, and as the jails are overflowing with criminal activity we can only blame ourselves. I know it all seems very bleak and cold, but there is hope, Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 5:10“10 But [a]may the God of all grace, who called [b]us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, [c]perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.”

Don’t fear the darkness; simply turn on the light and watch as the shadows scatter in fear. We know how the story ends, and we must live our lives according to Christ. Titus 2:7“in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility,” No matter how dark the world gets we are commanded not to conform to it, but to be a good representative, an ambassador of Christ. We know where we are going when we die, but those who are still lost in this world still need to be unplugged from the system. It’s our job to educate, to guide, to lead by example. If we can’t do that we have no business calling ourselves Christians. We must hold ourselves to a higher standard not because I say so, but because Jesus Christ said so. How long will we allow our own homes to crumble to ruin over and over again? How long will we allow the neighborhoods to crumble all around us? How long will we allow the poverty in this great nation to grow and have more and more people struggling to make ends meat? We must stand up and do better. We must evangelize harder, preach louder, and not allow the world to stifle our voices any longer. Don’t let the darkness snuff out our candle of light and hope. Light is stronger then dark, and we must remind the world we won’t be pushed around or bullied any longer.

I’m Not Weak

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

I’m Not Weak

It’s not that I am weak if I fall. It’s not that I feel low, it’s about getting back up. I have fallen, and I feel like I’m laying on the ground. I feel battered and bloody. Am I weak because I took a hit and I fell? What is strength? Is strength that we never get it, or that when we do we find the ability to stand back up? While I’ll admit this has been the longer I’ve been down on the mat, I feel like I am making progress. I often feel that others have looked down upon me in judgment and have placed little thought about where I’ve come from. I often look to myself and place an unreasonable goal on myself. I look to myself and call myself weak for not being able to stand back up. While there’s no doubt I am trying, and there’s no doubt I have made progress, I don’t feel it’s been fast enough. I feel much of the time I’ve been on my own dealing with these feelings I have little experience with. Failure is not a stranger to my lips, but to this magnitude, to this extent, I have no frame of reference. The clock ticks and it’s maddening in my ears. The hours feel like years, and I watch as the civil war wages on inside my mind.

For years I watched men around me. Why didn’t I feel like I fit in? What was so different about me then others? I wrestled with my place for years. In school I didn’t fit in with the guys. I was an outcast, an anomaly. I watched the world move around me and I felt like a spectator instead of a player, I found the longer the status quo stayed the same, the wider the chasm grew. I was the friend to the ladies but rarely more. I was the annoying tag along for the guys, so I chose to walk the path of the lesser pain. I sat with the girls at lunch, I hung out with the girls out of school, and as I grew I was the one guy in the crowd of the girls. Not a bad place to be in my own mind, I was with the girls, but only as their friend. I found in time it was a place I could live to be. I learned to share my emotions, to communicate with the female persuasion, but in time the thing that once was a blessing seemed to become a curse.

How quickly innocence can be taken away. It’s funny how much some people change going through military training, and how some never let go of their old selves. During my training I dove into it. Mind body and soul I gave my all to learning all I could. I kept my innocence, I kept my core, I remained me. Through graduation I became more then I was. I was a soldier and I was proud of it. I left for a country foreign to me, to be the best soldier I could be. I grew, and I absorbed what I could. In my walk I kept a hole of my faith. Then the night we got the news, Lt. Brown was KIA. The war became real, and it was hard to imagine, he was gone. The morning my truck was ambushed, a well sought plan to kill the Americans. The memories from that day have stuck with me all these many years later. The facts were the fact, and I talked about the facts about what happened, but rarely have I discussed how I felt. How does anyone feel knowing someone tried to murder them? How does anyone feel in the face of so much hatred? We were trained to always put the mission first. We were trained to act, react, plan, and execute, but never did we talk about how to handle the emotions we would feel. For a year those emotions were buried, and rarely talked about. The mission tempo kept us busy, and we fought to stay alive every day. Even when we were on the base, our guard was never down because of the constant barrage of incoming mortars and rockets. We were such a hot bed of activity the USO couldn’t come to our base because it wasn’t safe enough. I remember going to Camp Anaconda and they had a pool, and movies, and a Burger King. The Green Zone obviously, a safe enough place to be. After all these years the memories have surfaced and after the events of September of 2016, it feels like all of a sudden the flood gates opened, and I’ve been trying to manage all of these incidences, all of these traumas and while I’m trying to put labels on the emotions, I feel as if I’ve shut down and I only take out some emotions per day. Am I weak, or the product of years of neglect?

I have found in my walk in the last year with this ministry I have grown. I can see the growth within myself, and even if I was a little biased, I have heard recently how much others have seen the growth within me. The fact is, we don’t know the pain someone’s in. We don’t know how strongly something has affected them, and it’s not for us to judge that pain. Instead it’s our place to be there to help them grow in Christ, and to offer mercy and grace to console them. In all our times we must learn there is a time for everything, and importantly, there’s a time to feel. Ecclesiastes 3:4 “A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;” We don’t know how long it takes to heal. We don’t know how long it takes to feel. We don’t know what it’s like to loose, and to get back up and keep pressing on. We try to extend an olive branch by sharing our own experiences, and to that I say, there’s also a time and place. We need to learn when to listen, and when to speak. We need to learn when it’s the right time and place, and we need to find what we can do to help those who are suffering. Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” I don’t want to be told it’ll get better soon. I don’t want to be told things will get better. For over a year now I’ve heard the same cliché’ answers, and the broken record plays, and I don’t want to hear it anymore. We as people think we are in control but we aren’t. God’s in control, and all we can do is react to the situations we find ourselves in. We make our choices based on the good or bad in our hearts. In my time I’ve chosen to love and have faith in God despite my calamity. I have chosen to stand firm on the Word of God and have faith that when my time for prosperity comes, I will be blessed, whether it be in this life or the next. I trust in the Lord and put my faith in Him. This day shall pass, and when the storm passes I shall rebuild.

It’s not weak to take time to weep for a life lost. It’s not weak to struggle with the emotions from war. War changes people, and for me, I left something in the sand in that country so far away. It takes time to process, and to manage. I’m not weak because I have taken time for myself. I’m not weak for the tears I’ve shed for lost friends. I’m not weak, I’m human. My flesh is weak, but my faith is strong. I’ll never be the same as I was before all of this. I’ve seen so much, and I’ve lived through so much, all I can do now is share my experience and try to help someone else in need. I hope no one gets to the point I was. Let Jesus pick you up and give you shelter when you are in sorrow. Trust in the Lord when you’re in danger. Put all your hope in the Lord and believe that whatever hell you face here, paradise is waiting for you there. No matter if you are hurt, or angry, sad, or happy, in all things, try to uphold yourself in a dignified way pleasing to the Lord. Every one of our emotions is valid, it’s just a matter of how we manage them, how we face them. There’s a time and place, but if you have feelings you’ve not dealt with, it’s better to face them early, then wait till they have created other problems in your life. Don’t wait, act now. Face the pain, and face the day.

 

 

Shadows In The Dark

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Shadows In The Dark

Have you ever lain in your bed, the room dark, with shadows dancing around the walls? The fear those shadows instill in a young boy. The constant terror a child will face, afraid of the monsters looming around the void of light. We grow up and we learn that some of those shadows are no more then the tree outside dancing in the wind. We learn not to let our imagination run wild in the dark. What if some of those shadows weren’t shadows at all, but the Devil and his minions, his Demons from Hell that are taunting you, playing with your emotions, and bringing you the fear. As we get older temptations and fear, and even the lies people will utter have a deep impact on us and our fragile sensibility. When someone spreads lies about you it hurts your feelings. When people are cruel for no reason but their own insecurities it doesn’t feel good. Over the years I’ve lost many of my friends due to the insecurities of others. The struggle to maintain friendships as you get older has gotten harder then ever. When Facebook released I thought keeping and maintaining friendships would have been easier, instead I think it’s gotten harder. The problem is, with the invent of social media, and apps, the secret life has become very common. I think the paranoia of everyone has in fact infected everyday relationships. The truth is, the Devil has found new and creative ways to break into the hearts and minds people everywhere.

It’s difficult when you are trying to make friends. There’s so much fear, and insecurities, and distrust in the world today it makes it hard to make and keep friends. We see the scripture actually talks about social media in a way. 1 Corinthians 15:33 “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” Social media has given the ability to now hide communication, and lie and cheat your way through life. As friendships come and go today we find ourselves in a world that cares very little for truth, honesty, or loyalty. It’s important that we look to those in our lives that are closest to us. We need to find our brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s in that, that we will find those who will not just be a friendly hello, but those who will be there for us in our times of adversity. Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Friends will come and go, but those friends who become more, that become like family, those are the people that you need to water and cultivate and allow it to grow and flourish. Proverbs 18:24 “A man [that hath] friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother.”

Don’t let the shadow overtake you. The struggle of loosing your friends, your loved ones, is very real and it happens to many. The storms will come and go, the trials, and the turbulent weather will toss you around like a dogs chew toy. The war for our hearts and minds is fought in the shadows. The war for our very soul is fought every day in the darkness. We must remember that the Devil will sway those away from us, and when that happens all we can do is pray for them, and move forward in our lives. There are plenty of new flavors to allow the Devil his tricks, but we have to be strong and fight the fight. We have to continue to fight and never let go. The last thing we want to do is be one step away from turning the corner we can’t turn back from. We can only do so much to help those who’ve fallen victim to the lies. We have to keep pushing forward and try to bring the light to the darkness. I’m reminded of the Jorker from The Dark Knight. Are we just one bad day from crossing the line? Are we one bad day from embracing the darkness? We must continue to fight against that and remember Jesus is the light of the world and is always with us.

 

Letting Go

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Letting Go

Life isn’t always the way we have planned. Sometimes things happen and it hurts us. Friends leave or hurt our feelings, loved ones abandon us, someone insults us, all number of things can do damage to our sometimes-sensitive psyches. The thing is, pain is all part of life. When it happens it isn’t fun at all, and it can leave a lasting mark on our hearts. It can turn to scars and those scars if not careful can harden your heart. We need to remember that for every ounce of pain we endure, there may be something greater coming in the future we are being prepared for. “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. “You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” – C.S. Lewis. 1 Peter 5:10 “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” Suffering happens to everyone, but as a Christian we expect to endure great hardships. 1 Peter 4:12-13 “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.” Being a Christian isn’t always easy. It often takes great strength and fortitude to manage the trials day in and day out. People can be callused in their heart and they may say and do things that hurt and cut us deeply. We must know this and find ways to manage, and see this from a different perspective. Isaiah 48:10 “Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.”

Set your eyes to the lord

 When we are down and stressed, when we are joyful and blissful, we should always look to the Lord. When our eyes are set on the Lord our lives are closer to being on the right path. Proverbs 4:25-27 “Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee. Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.” We must look, but we must see beyond the surface. We must have faith and trust that our trials come with a purpose. When hardships happen are we taking them to the Lord? Colossians 3:2 “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.” The only true ways out of the fire is the Lord. When we realize we need the Lord we are one step closer to a healthy relationship with our Father.

Looking forward not back

We must have the strength to take our steps forward. We must always move forward and never go backwards. The horizon isn’t some place to ponder; it’s a place to venture towards. As the days begin with the rising sun remember that every day is a painting. Every day is a new fresh canvas for the Lord to paint our lives. Like a drop in the water, the ripples of our life from the smallest things could always move us into position for great things. Isaiah 43:18 “Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.” All things happen for a reason and in those reasons we must have faith. We will be strengthened by our pain, and like a sword in the forged, it takes time, it takes fire, it takes the hammer, and the anvil to shape the beautiful steel sword. When sharpened we can cut through the enemy because we were forged by the Holy Spirit. Philippians 3:13-14 “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” The prize for us is eternal salvation. We mustn’t allow our past to hold us back. We mustn’t get stuck in the pain and force ourselves to relive it daily. While it’s not easy to move past the pain, but if we use the pain, harness it’s raw power and effect, we can believe in our hearts it’s for a purposes. Job 17:9 “The righteous also shall hold on his way, and he that hath clean hands shall be stronger and stronger.” Kneel in prayer taking only a moment to physically stop moving, but allowing your spirit to fly and thrive in the light of the world. In the darkest of storms when we have the Holy Spirit inside us, we may be going through our own struggles, but as a Godly person remember you may be going through your own storms, and you may be looking for your own light in the darkness, but think about it this way, what if you’re someone else’s light in the darkness? What if how you manage your pain is the strength and inspiration someone else needs? 1 Corinthians 13:12 “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” The reflection we see may not always be what we expect, but as we continue to grow in our faith, that reflection will reveal more of our true image, the image that was created by God to be loved by God, and when we look in the mirror one day we will see God standing with us.

 Don’t Dwell on the past

We can’t get stuck, we must move forward, and if we ever do get caught worrying about our past, we must remember Matthew 6:27 “Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?” Worrying about yesterday, and focusing on what we did wrong, or what was done wrong to us doesn’t add a single moment to our life. Now I’m not saying don’t reflect, don’t review the past to make your tomorrow better but don’t worry about it, don’t forget to move past it. When we do that, when we finally figure out how to do an affective After Action Review, we can adjust and overcome, and make tomorrow a better day.

Giving your hurt to God

Every day we have choices to be made. We choose to get out of bed, we choose to go to the bathroom, to eat breakfast, to look at your phone, or to turn on the TV. We make choices about what to wear, where to go, to go to work, to stop at the gas station on the way, or wait till later. So in our every day choices, are we choosing to let God into our hearts? Are we choosing to be mad at someone for what they said to us? Are we choosing to forgive or not? Are we choosing to remain in the fire of our own making? Are we choosing to remain in our own prison? We need to learn to choose to give our pain our suffering, our struggles to God. We need to choose to let God into our hearts, and have the faith to let go of what we cannot control. When we learn to take the hands off the wheel and let God take over, we realize that we weren’t ever in control anyway. Loving God is a choice, and letting go of the pain inside is also a choice. It’s not one that’s easy, and it takes practice, and time, but in those it takes and requires effort. Facing our fears, and our pain is hard, and we need to handle that just like we walk to the refrigerator. It’s one step, one moment at a time, and before we know it we start to feel a little less pain, a little less grief. Philippians 4:6-7 “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” The pain may never go away but it won’t define us. The betrayal of close friends, loved ones, may always stay with us, but we can learn to trust again. We can learn to love again. People are fickle creatures, and can be motivated by a million different things in their own life. The pain we have can be the forging fire and we can become stronger if we grow, or if not heat-treated right a sword may become brittle. We don’t want to be the brittle steel broken at the first blow, we want to be strong and dependable. If every moment is more then you can take, and you have troubles and you need strength the one place to find refuge is Matthew 11:28-30 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Remember that the phrase “God will never give you more then you can take.” Is not scriptural at all. When you feel like you can’t take anymore the refuge you seek is Jesus Christ. God may not pull up on the rains to slow things down, but whatever you ‘need’ God will provide to you. You will always have the tools to get through the pain, and the suffering if you just look to God and pray for the help you need.

In every day life we will have friends come and go. We will have days of great joy, and days of great sorrow. It’s okay to not be okay, and it’s okay to just cry some days. Don’t get stuck in the misery, but remember God gave us our feelings for a reason and it’s important to remember some days you just need the sweet release of tears. Some days you need a good belly laugh, and in all these things beauty can be found. No matter what emotion you’re going through, you’re never alone. You may walk in the snow and see only one set of footprints, but that doesn’t mean Jesus is right there with you. The important thing is to find ways to handle those emotions. We cry to the Lord and even if we are crying the Lord is pleased because we are coming to our Savior, but sad that we are in pain. Forward always, and never backwards, because Jesus is always in front of us, hand extended to pull us through the day. Not for one moment in this life are we forsaken and forgotten.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Chasm

thearrowpreacher41 Comments

The Chasm

I feel cold, I feel hallow and full of question. I feel broken, and the light seems so far away. How can I ever get through this and see another sunrise? The life lived flashes in my mind. Pictures, and videos playing together and I can see the smiles of my loved ones past, my failures, and my successes. The video isn’t happy but somber. Broken it seems, the video skips and repeats over and over at certain points along the film. It’s not the film that’s broken it’s me. The darkness is heavy and weighs me down. The tears stain the ground below me, the elephant sitting on my chest, and the sunshine in my mind turns to gray, and black, the flowers turn to dust and ash spreading out all around me.

I’m a failure and everything I’ve ever worked for has meant nothing. I suffer through the nights seeking a purpose, seeking a reason to be saved from the darkness. A failure in life, and a failure in love, alas I am nothing, and no one. The journey has led me here and I can’t see beyond the edge of this cliff. The fall is long and I know I can’t go back. The thunder rolls in the distance and I can tell the storm’s getting closer to me. The wind begins to howl and I can feel the cool bitterness of the night on my cheek. It’s cold on the tear streaks left behind. My eyes are swollen from crying, the crackling of the lightning startles me and sounds as if I’m being taunted. I have nowhere to turn, no way out. The storm approaches quickly, something unnatural, and mystical. The rain starts, it’s freezing and each pelt to my skin feels like it’s ripping through me. I look down only to realize the rain is going through me. I don’t understand, and I’m afraid. I hide behind the rock and I scream. The thunder crackles and the ground shakes. I can hear the rock crumbling all around me.

The wind sounds different, I listen close and in it I can hear something. The wind said failure, I am sure of it. Lighting strikes near by and I feel the power course through the ground. The ledge I’m on cracks, and I peek beyond the rock, I’m separated from the mainland now. I’m stranded here, with a cliff surrounding me. The rain still tries to hit me. I hear the wind again and it calls me weak. I tremble and more rain hits me, the pain floods my body. I see something in the distance, it’s cold, gray, solid, it’s a slab of some kind. What’s it say, I can’t read it? I move from the cover I have to get closer, it says my name. It’s a tombstone. Under my name it says disappointment in life. All my life I don’t understand, I tried so hard, and here I am. I turn away from the tombstone and I see a coffin in front of me, I look down and I see myself lying there. Cold, and gray, lifeless, the body frail and withered, but I know it’s me. What happened to me? The hand jumps to grab my wrist and I can’t get away. I fall but my arm is stuck. The sharp pain as I can see a message etched into my forearm. The message says hope from within. The hand lets go and I stumble back to the rock.

I look around franticly as the ground shakes again. The space between me and the casket crumbles and the casket falls into the abyss and flames fly up from the now smoky chasm. What does that mean hope from within? The ground turns to fractured glass under me, and I can see myself. I look pale, I look broken, I am full of holes from the strange rain. I am crumbling myself, and I have no where to go now. I can feel the anger and hatred bubbling up from inside. I grab a stone from next to me and I raise it to the sky, and with all my might slam it down upon the fractured glass. It shatters and I feel the moment of weightlessness before I fall. It feels almost peaceful the fall, the moments prior to knowing the end is near. It feels almost like relief like the pain and suffering may be over soon. Blackness covers over my eyes, and there’s nothing. Consciousness is gone and there is truly nothing.

Living life isn’t easy, and it’s certainly not for the weak. All those things we feel about what we couldn’t achieve, or what we failed, or what we lost, are only used as tools against us if we let them. There’ve been times in my life where I felt like this. There were times when I felt as if my entire world was crumbling all around me, and it would have been so easy to let myself fall and sink into nothingness. The key to life, the key to happiness is knowing that the hope lies within. The knowledge in Jesus Christ, the truth that each of us has the potential for great love, or great hate, always within us. When we stumble and fall what forces us to gather the strength to get back up and carry on. When we listen to the voices in the dark, what do we hear? Can we hear the voice of truth or the voice of lies? Do we allow the darkness to cover us and we succumb to the lies? Do we raise up and climb out of the chasm we are in. The truth is we aren’t alone and even when we feel like we are, we must dig deeper and search our heart to find truth, the true faith that we have inside. If we let the deceivers lies influence us, we will forever remain in the storm, stumbling blindly through life until the end comes for us, and eternity rests in the balance. We always have a choice, and no matter how dark, how scary, how perilous the journey seems to be, we aren’t alone, we have a guide. The Book of God tells us where our hearts need to be. It tells us what we will face, and how bad it can get. The book tells us our futures, and we have only but to ask, but to prove not just to God, but to ourselves that our faith is strong. The faith to get back up when we fall. The faith to face the fire, to run into the Devils den and know that no matter what happens, we’ll be okay. We can face tomorrow no matter what today is like because of two little words, Jesus Christ. We live because Christ died, and rose again showing everyone that the bonds of death had been broken. We will always be our own worst enemy when we let the Devils whispers influence us. We will always feel alone, and hallow, and empty if the Devil has His way. Life will always do you wrong, but we must keep marching on. You will be brought to your knees, but if you are on bended knee you can do one thing, only one thing that will truly save you in the moments of despair, pray. We can only give ourselves to God, mind, body, and soul, and in that instance we will be fueled by the Holy Spirit and by the graces of God we can achieve success over the attacks by the prince of darkness. Don’t allow yourself to end up on a precipice alone. Don’t let the storm frighten you, for when you have little faith, you become the weak pray for the Devil to devour.

My own past haunts me, my choices, my failures, my losses, and although they have been great and plenty, and I have suffered long, tomorrow can bring light instead of dark. The flowers may bloom instead of wilt. Faith isn’t easy, and it takes practice, it takes time, it takes constant effort to build the muscles in your mind and in your heart to trust in God. Knowing and doing are very different. Knowing you should trust God with every aspect of your life, and doing it can be a vast challenge. Hope and love, forgiveness and relinquishing control are the ways to the light. We must forgive those who’ve hurt us, we must forgive ourselves for our parts in the wrongs in our life. We must let God be with us, let God hold us, and protect us. Living is hard enough as it is, we don’t need to make it harder on ourselves by doing it alone. Have faith in the Lord and accept the gifts He gives to us. A lesson I still haven’t mastered, but every day I try. You can walk the rugged path with God, or the smooth path without, but things aren’t always as they appear, sometimes what seems to good to be true, probably is. Don’t be fooled by the easy path, or the pretty baubles that shine in front of you.

A little love

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

A little love

Wake up in the morning and all you see is death and destruction on the TV. How do we stand the sights we see, and how do we keep living our live the same way? Someone asked me and said why would God allow such tragedies. Someone else told me Sin had nothing to do with this tragedy in Vegas, and that the Bible was a fictional piece of work written by man during a time period to control the masses. While I can argue a whole blog on the validity of the Bible and also Christ, this post will be about doing something. It’s time to stand up and fight back.

Tomorrow can feel to strong, it can feel crushing, and in those times you should fall back and take a breath, pray to Jesus and don’t worry about tomorrow, God’s already there. The Bible shows us the way, and just because we know the way doesn’t mean that path is an easy one to walk.

Waking up in the morning to heartbreak and death even if not related to us, can still affect us. During 9/11 I struggled holding back tears of sadness and anger. A few days ago when I saw the news about Vegas I was sick to my stomach. I had to remind myself that God’s still in control and no matter what happens, I have to understand the puzzle is bigger then me. I may never see or understand the hurt in this world. The only thing I can do is worship to my God that’s still on the throne. When the days are long and the road is still far, worship His holy name. His heart is kind and no matter the horrible things that happen God sees all, He feels all things and even in our suffering God is with us. 2 Corinthians 7:6-7 “But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, 7 and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you, as he told us of your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more.” Knowing that the Christ, the Savior of our sins came and bled and died for us. This should provide comfort knowing that tomorrow will come.

In our time of grief let go of the hate, let go of the fear, let go of the war mongering. Playing political cards for political gain isn’t appropriate. At some point a conversation will be had, but in the mean time, it’s time to heal. Ask God for guidance and allow room in your broken heart. When your heart is in pieces, and the darkness feels like it’s filling up your mind, when you need a helping hand, put a little love in your heart.

“If you want the world to know

We won’t let hatred grow

Put a little love in your heart

And the world will be a better place

And the world will be a better place

For you (for you)

And me (and me)”

“Think of your fellow man,

Lend him a helping hand!”

The world can be such a better place for you and me if we just love the love scripture speaks of. Love concurs all, and we just need to push past the hate, push past the lies the deceit and when we can do that we might be able to overcome some of the worlds problems. Put a little love in your heart.

22279259_10159298296620304_4133294_oNo matter if you’re feelin blue, always be true to you, gotta find some joy and happiness. When you’re feelin low take it nice and slow. When the days are hard, always take a start, and feel the love. Put it all away when your feelin gray, and put a little love in your heart.

 

 

The Cage

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

The Cage

You lied to me and then you left. My heart was cracked and broken, and all this time it feels like it’s still held captive behind a cage. Unable to be free, unable to heal, the barbed wire tears it apart with each attempt to escape the torture. For how long will you have the power over my heart? For how long will you break my heart again and again?

The day has to come when the power breaks. Nothing can last forever. Once upon a time I thought you were my angel sent to me by God, the reward for a life of hardship. Once upon a time I thought you were my sign that life would forever be a blessing and I foolishly believed that love, the love we had would be the forever kind. I believed with all my heart that no matter what came our way I wouldn’t have to worry. But I underestimated the devils cry. I didn’t see the attack before it was too late, and then, you were gone.

I didn’t fight in time. The Trojan horse got in, and I watched it come. I took the horse for a horse not a trap. I rose no defense, I sounded no alarm, and when the night came the true nature of the horse was revealed and by then the fight was over.

My love was all I had to give. I gave the world I could, but that love wasn’t strong enough. Without that love I questioned everything in my life. I fell into a caged despair. I gave my everything, but like some soldier going toe to toe with Hercules I was swatted away like a fly, not chance at all. I stood no chance against the giant and I fell easily.

There’s nowhere to run, there’s no place to go, I can only surrender what’s left within me to the alter of the one above. I beg and plead to put the pieces back together. I beg and plead to make me whole. The one above is powerful and through the grace of His love and peace, the pieces can be made whole again. God above will mend the heart, but the scars will remain. As Christ rose from the dead for the defeat of eternal death, the scars remained, proof of the past, so thus we must keep our scars.

I question my past and my present yet no answers come. I never thought the day would come when the world would crack in two, but on the day it did I cried to the heavens I was sorry for any mistakes I made, I was sorry for my part in the tragedy. The Lord above forgives the repenting heart. The Lord above feels what we feel, sees what we see, and when we break He breaks.

With my still broken heart, the good Lord heals, but the mending of a broken heart takes time. We feel so deeply sometimes and it takes time to mend, to fix the broken code in the programming. When you feel like you’re crashing make sure you reach towards the Lord. When my day came, when I crashed, I hit Cnt-Alt-Del, and watched as the lights went out.

“At first I was afraid, I was petrified, kept thinkin’ I could never live without you by my side, but then I spent so many nights how you did me wrong, I grew strong, and I learned how to get along.” (I Will Survive)

I will survive. One day my prison will crumble and I will yet again have freedom. When that day comes it will be a sigh of relief. Remember that the true freedom is the freedom over sin, the blood that was paid for, for our sin by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. While we are told we will face our own trials, we will have to take up our own cross, we too our promised our battled and our own scars. The scars will always be there as a reminder of where we came, and what we’ve survived. Embrace the scars because no matter how bad it was, you survived and now have a story to tell.

One day I will tell my story, and while it will have its ups, it’ll have its downs, it’ll have it’s laughs, and it’ll have it’s tears, but it will always have God at the center. The day will come when the morning comes and the chains will burn away and the pain won’t be able to keep you bound anymore. “All I know is I’m not home yet, this is not where I belong. Take this world and give me Jesus, this is not where I belong.” (Building 429)

My heart shattered that day, the world shook and went dark, the blood was spilt, the tears flooded the ground, but the hand of Jesus was there reaching down towards me and lifted me up. Never stop fighting the fight, never stop healing, and never stop moving forward. The power of the Lord can heal any wound and we need that healing touch.

Lord you made me feel so shiny and new, you picked me up, dusted me off and stood me up. While I may be within my own cage, while I am still watching from behind these chains, I know that one day they will fall away. Faith, it’s what we have, it’s what I have. One day the Son will return and when the day comes, I will be ready to return home.

 

 

Not a victim, but a Survivor

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Not a victim, but a survivor

I’ve been considering what it means to go through a divorce you didn’t ask for. I’ve been considering what it means to suffer through it twice. For many, divorce can be devastating, for some it can be like being set free from Hell. For me, I’d say both times it was the first. I didn’t want, nor did I ask for this to happen. What I do know, is I will not be considered a victim, I will a survivor. The pain felt deep within my very soul has affected me profoundly. As I have traveled this world I have seen many men and women in need, I have seen many and in my time I have happened upon much I have found it in myself to stop and provide aid. I have been so many times the Good Samaritan.

As a survivor I have had my brushes with death, more then most. I have seen the evil in man’s heart; I have witnessed it first hand. I have watched good men die; I have had them die in front of me as I stood by powerless to stop it. I have seen the cruelty and the lies others will tell to their own selfish natures and desires. I have seen those stand idly by and do nothing, I have seen those who support the ill intent that has befallen me and even with all the bad that’s happened, I have emerged from the filth and the mud, and I have been blessed by God. I know that there will be trials ahead, and I know that there will be troubled waters. As I navigate through the blackest of nights, I know that there are those out there who support me, who love me for me, who believe in what I’m doing.

There’s a whole wide world out there for me to explore. There’s a whole lot of hurt I’d like to be able to make a little better for those whom I care about. As I revisit the Good Samaritan, where are we and what are we? Are we the priest, the Levite, the Samaritan, or the ill intent that left the man on the side of the road half dead? Are we the innkeeper that was paid to aid the man? Where we fall in the spectrum and why? I have often found myself questioning where have all the good men gone, and where are all the good women. I have often found myself questioning the business of our society today that we are on the go from dawn till dusk. We see ourselves running and running, and as our priorities are set, what then is left out of our 24 hour day?

No I’m not a victim of ill intent, I am a survivor. I have survived more then my fair share, and I continue to fight the fight every day. I one day want to be able to look my loved ones in the eye and tell them I too have fought the good fight, I have kept the course, and I too have finished the race. I want to leave behind a legacy for my family to be proud of. I was not born into a world that is so fallen there is no hope. I believe in the Hope of Jesus Christ, and I believe that those who follow Him, those who believe in the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, that those who follow that in their hearts and show the world that’s where hope is born, that there are still good people out there, and that my God is a living God living in us every day. I believe that as we put our faith in God, that the people who believe in God are bound to find others, that attract others in the name of the Lord.

We can see the hope around us, we can see the small spark even in the darkest of night if we keep our eyes open. Although man will fail you, and man will disappoint you, knowing that the Holy Spirit can and does wonders for the human heart, that tomorrow as doom and gloom as it appears, is only one day in the vastness of forever. Find yourself the light in the darkness, and you too may be able to say one day who you are in the story. Define yourself by the content of your heart, and allow yourself to be defined by what you do, and how you treat others along the path. The Ill Intent, The Samaritan, The Traveler, The Priest, or the Levite. The Choice is yours.

Driving In The Dark

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Driving In The Dark

0445 hours, the road is dark, there’s no one driving, no one except me. The time between the stars and the sun has come. The headlights brighten the road, but just out of the beams are the things that creep in the dark. I can see raccoons, deer, skunk, fox, rabbits, and squirrels often on my early morning drive. Do we live our lives driving in the dark? Do we follow the barely lit road never knowing the next curve ahead, never seeing the dangers that lurk just beyond the headlights? Life in the fast lane, the lines go by as a blur. We’re blinded by the darkness. John 1:5  “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

 Some people think it’s hard to find God. Some people think the “rules” are to much to ask for. Every time I hear people say that being a Christian requires to much I always think of the quote from Scotty in Trek 2009 “The notion of transwarp beaming is like trying to hit a bullet with a smaller bullet whilst wearing a blindfold, riding a horse.” Really people, it’s not that difficult. There are 12 rules. That’s it. Doesn’t see so hard if you think about it like that. How many laws are there in the country that we have to obey? No one complains about having to uphold those laws, but the laws of the Bible are to many? Proverbs 4:19 “The way of the wicked is like darkness; They do not know over what they stumble.” No matter the road you’re on, no matter how far you’ve traveled in the darkness Jesus promised to shine the light on all the world and rid the world of darkness for all those who follow him. Isaiah 42:16 “I will lead the blind by a way they do not know, In paths they do not know I will guide them I will make darkness into light before them And rugged places into plains These are the things I will do, And I will not leave them undone.”

 We love the world, we love the sin, the gluttony, the sex, the drugs and booze, we as humans gravitate to sin. We as a people have become consumed with sin in our every day life we see it no matter where we turn. Sin has a particular hold on us, and it’s only with the power of Christ can we overcome it, move past it, fight back. John 3:19 “This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil.” Sin isn’t easy to fight back against, but when we lean on Christ it’s bearable. The light ahead of us gives us the one thing we didn’t have before Christ, and that’s hope. Christ’s blood gave us hope. The eternal storm we were promised has not been washed away, instead we still endure the storms of this world, but we now have that lighthouse to guide our ships by. Don’t let your ship get tossed in the waves, find the guiding light and push through the waves, the rain, the clap of the thunder, the dangers of lightning. Luke 1:79 “to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.”

 We don’t need to drive in the darkness. We only need to seek out the light and the darkness will fade away. No longer do we suffer forever, we have been given Hope. Finding hope isn’t has hard as people think it is. Finding hope is one step away, one selfless release, and pure surrender. Surrender unto the Lord and ye shall be rewarded. Where are you men and women of courage, it’s time to be courageous and surrender and fall to your knees with lifted hands.