Tag: Content

The Face of Evil

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

The Face of Evil

Does the face we show the world reflect the heart within? Does the soul we have look dark, shrouded in shadow? I’ve lived only a little while on this earth by some standards yet in that time I’ve seen the face of evil more then once. I’ve watched as men killed one another over religious ideologies. I’ve see the horrible things that come from war as people smile to your face, but in their hearts, they want to kill you. I have watched as loved ones who claimed to be loving, and devoted to me have turned their backs on vows and promises, and oaths, and instead while on the outside I see the loving face, the kisses, the hugs, on the inside the plots begin, and horrible things loom. The treachery that looms within a person can lay dormant for years, but as the Billy Joel song goes, “We all have a face that we hide away forever.” Sometimes we come home to a face we don’t recognize, but that’s because some people hide who they are and try to be something they aren’t. How do we handle when the world of people changes right before our eyes? Does the change in a person break our foundation? For a moment to long it broke mine. I fell and when I did the whole world seem to break and fall apart. I let myself be fooled by my own blindness and the day the truth came out, I fractured and fell into the deepest despair I could ever imagine.

DSC_7913

The day the shot rang out changed everything for me. My entire outlook on life changed, along with my outlook on people. In the year that’s followed I have seen more hateful, more hurtful, more disgraceful behavior come out of the people that were supposed to be my closest friends. I have seen the good in people, the generosity, the love, but sadly the bad has far outweighed the good. The end though is one day the end will come for us all, and we will be judged not by the works we’ve done, or the money we have, or the kittens we’ve saved out of trees, the judgment at the foot of the cross will be on the content of our hearts. Isn’t it the judgment within ourselves we should be focused on most though? I’ve struggled with taking the blame for things I really didn’t have anything to do with. I’ve watched as my world fell around me and I held myself to blame. As I have watched a utter change up in my life in nearly every category,

When I have my bad days, I often feel the pull of the Devil inside my head. I feel the darkness creeping in telling me lies, and telling me I’m not worthwhile. While the world can be unfair and cruel, we can’t allow ourselves to succumb to it. We cannot allow ourselves to harden our hearts, and become cold and cruel. We can’t be the villains in our story. There are a few quotes I remember that make me think about this topic. “All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That’s how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once, am I right? I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad day and everything changed.” (Joker) While Batman’s bad day led him to the roll of hero, I can’t say that happens to everyone. I think more often then not, people’s bad days lead them down a darker path. I think for most people it follows this “As you know, madness is like gravity…all it takes is a little push.” (Joker) When we think about it, aren’t we fragile creatures? The mind is a fragile thing. The Devil prays on that weakness, he prays on our insecurities, and our shortcomings, and in that we must learn to take our lows to the Lord. Do not allow yourself to fall pray to the darkness. Fight the Devil and remember to always keep your mind to the Lord.

DSC_7914

The pain will come I can whittle away pieces of your heart if you’re not careful. We don’t want that bad day to come when we give up who we are, and forsake everything we’ve built. I’ve seen marriages fall apart because of one big bad day. One thing, one major event can shake your and crack your foundation if you aren’t careful. As Frank Castle once told DareDevil, ““You know, you’re one bad day away from being me.” We don’t want to the one to destroy everything around us. Sadly I had a bad day once and I would loose what was most important to me. 18 months later I’m still trying to put the pieces back together in my life. While I’m not perfect I was recently told I’ve made great improvements in a years time. The thing is, progress no matter how slow is progress. We must continue to move forward. People will come into your life and they will be whatever they are going to be. Some will be kind and sweet, others will be the face of evil and sadly we will feel the pain from lies, betrayal, and loss.

DSC_7915

Don’t quit on yourself, and don’t loose your way. Stay on your path with Jesus and don’t let the masks hurt you, don’t let the masks lie to you. Don’t don your mask and be something you’re not. Devote your heart to the Lord and let that be your world. Stay away from the faces of evil. Keep fighting the good fight, and the day you finish the race, you’ll have something to be proud of. Love Jesus and let the light be in you always.

 

 

 

How Do You Feel?

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

How Do You Feel?

We are a nation, a society of shielding ourselves from real feelings. We are no longer a proactive society. We allow ourselves to be shielding from our feelings by way of relationships, money, and even sometimes our jobs. We no longer talk on the phone, instead we text and often people we may never meet in person. It’s easy to walk away because people don’t become attached, they don’t feel the connection. Money is the same way. We no longer feel the loss of money when we spend by just swiping the card. Instead of using the feeling of cash between our fingers we swipe the plastic and never see the connection between our money and us. We mismanage our lives poorly. We handle our money poorly, and we handle and manage our personal relationships. We don’t manage the gifts we are given by God. We don’t feel appreciative of the little things God gives us. We don’t feel that connection to our earthy gifts from our heavenly Father.

When we receive our gifts from God how do we look at those? Are we feeling our gifts, and are we any good at it? When we appreciate our gifts, when we actually have our feelers in the mix we take care of what we are given. When God gives us friendships, when God gives us people in our lives and we should cultivate those relationships. We should cultivate the money we are given, and ensure that we are using that gift to glorify God. When we feel nothing to let friends go, we must look at why we feel nothing. When we feel nothing for the money you spend, and you overspend, or use credit cards like it’s free cash, we see a society of foolish people growing.

When you look at your life and you look at what you have how do you feel? When you look at your life are you satisfied with the friends in your life? Are you satisfied with how you ended friendships? Do you feel badly with how you treated your coworker last week? How did you treat the waitress at the restaurant yesterday? If someone from the outside looked in on your life, would you be able to call yourself a Christian, or not? We all make mistake, but it’s important to understand the mistakes we are making. It’s not easy to evaluate our lives and figure out if we’re doing something right or wrong. Do we complicate our lives? Remember someone’s struggles, someone’s hardships do not constitute complications.

When we see something complicated in our society the natural reaction is to run away. We are a feel good society and we want to feel good. We want to rid our lives of anything that makes us feel anything but good. We want to emotionally spend even if we don’t have the money. We spend on credit cards because we deserve to have whatever it is we seek because we’ve earned it. We’ve had a hard day, or a hard week, and it’s decided we can indulge now, and deal with the implications latter. 1 Timothy 5:8 “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” If we provide for our household with finances we should be willing to help the rest of our family with love and support. We are a family in Christ and therefore we should be willing to provide what’s needed for those in trials to succeed. When we look at our loved ones, or friends who are going through a hard time, and we decide that dealing with them is just bringing you down, we use our feelings and yet we aren’t behaving as Christians. We don’t talk about things that are hard because it brings negative emotions that we no longer know how to manage in our lives.

We must learn to understand that both positive and negative feelings are important. How do we appreciate our positive feelings if we never allow negative feelings to be felt? If we run away from anything negative we miss the message in scripture. Scripture teaches us we WILL face hardships. Not only are we going to face the hardships, we are also told our brothers and sisters will also face hardships. This isn’t a suggestion, but we are told to raise one another, we are told to help carry the burdens of those in need in our lives. The thing is, if we feel the need to allow those to fall around us, and we don’t pick up their cross to help them, who’s going to help you? If you were in the crowd and you watched the Lord of all things fall, bleeding, and we choose not to help Jesus Christ lift and carry his cross because we don’t want to get involved, we don’t want the negative vibes to infect, to infest our good feelings, how do we feel? You see, when we abandon those in our lives because they have some drama, or they have hardships going on in their lives, leaving them to fend for themselves is not scriptural. Now, I will say some people choose to stay in their fire. They choose not to help themselves and they bring upon their own burdens. Those people can be difficult and it can be hard to keep them in our lives. Leeches are not what I’m talking about. Helping others is a scriptural principle that is non negotiable. We must help, but we are also told to use our gifts wisely. When we help those in need especially financially we must be good stewards of what we have.

I would like to think most people do not bring their own burdens upon themselves. But if they do, we must try to show the love of Christ. We must attempt to help show them a better way. We must be willing to put ourselves out there a little to help save them. If we were in a house with a fire would we not want a firefighter to come in to the house to save us? They put themselves at risk to save us from the fire. We can all be firefighters, or rescue swimmers, and help those in crisis. We can’t expect the fire never to come because it does. I challenge you all to take a good long hard look at yourselves and see if you have been allowing someone close to you to carry his or her cross alone. Have you turned your back on someone that reached out to you for help? Have you walked away from friendships because they had too much going on? Be good stewards, and walk in Christ in your every day. Be thankful for your gifts, but those gifts may not always be there if you are not walking in Christ. If you do not use the gifts of God to glorify God, you can’t expect the gifts to keep coming if we aren’t walking with the Lord in other areas of our lives. We feel all kinds of things in our life, but we must learn to feel the grace of the Holy Spirit. That grace is important because when we allow the Holy Spirit to be in us, we will feel more empathy for others. We will often feel more sympathy for the blights of others when we are more in tuned with the thoughts and feelings of those around us. We are all in this together, and we need others to help us sometimes and it’s important to realize that love is a give emotion. We are told to love our brothers and sisters and that means being there for them when we need to. Let go of your selfish desire to rid yourself of all negativity. Negative events will happen, and it’s not about if but when. We have insurance because we want it when something goes wrong. The thing is, when the fire comes we don’t want to have to face putting it out on our own. We call for the fire department and we appreciate them being there. Our friends are the same way. We should feel the pain of others and we should be driven to help when we can. Believe it or not, when we are able to help someone through a crisis, how we feel will actually be positive making a change to someone’s life. Love all, cherish all, and be good stewards of God’s gifts. 1 Peter 4:16 “Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name.”

 

Shadows In The Dark

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Shadows In The Dark

Have you ever lain in your bed, the room dark, with shadows dancing around the walls? The fear those shadows instill in a young boy. The constant terror a child will face, afraid of the monsters looming around the void of light. We grow up and we learn that some of those shadows are no more then the tree outside dancing in the wind. We learn not to let our imagination run wild in the dark. What if some of those shadows weren’t shadows at all, but the Devil and his minions, his Demons from Hell that are taunting you, playing with your emotions, and bringing you the fear. As we get older temptations and fear, and even the lies people will utter have a deep impact on us and our fragile sensibility. When someone spreads lies about you it hurts your feelings. When people are cruel for no reason but their own insecurities it doesn’t feel good. Over the years I’ve lost many of my friends due to the insecurities of others. The struggle to maintain friendships as you get older has gotten harder then ever. When Facebook released I thought keeping and maintaining friendships would have been easier, instead I think it’s gotten harder. The problem is, with the invent of social media, and apps, the secret life has become very common. I think the paranoia of everyone has in fact infected everyday relationships. The truth is, the Devil has found new and creative ways to break into the hearts and minds people everywhere.

It’s difficult when you are trying to make friends. There’s so much fear, and insecurities, and distrust in the world today it makes it hard to make and keep friends. We see the scripture actually talks about social media in a way. 1 Corinthians 15:33 “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” Social media has given the ability to now hide communication, and lie and cheat your way through life. As friendships come and go today we find ourselves in a world that cares very little for truth, honesty, or loyalty. It’s important that we look to those in our lives that are closest to us. We need to find our brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s in that, that we will find those who will not just be a friendly hello, but those who will be there for us in our times of adversity. Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Friends will come and go, but those friends who become more, that become like family, those are the people that you need to water and cultivate and allow it to grow and flourish. Proverbs 18:24 “A man [that hath] friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother.”

Don’t let the shadow overtake you. The struggle of loosing your friends, your loved ones, is very real and it happens to many. The storms will come and go, the trials, and the turbulent weather will toss you around like a dogs chew toy. The war for our hearts and minds is fought in the shadows. The war for our very soul is fought every day in the darkness. We must remember that the Devil will sway those away from us, and when that happens all we can do is pray for them, and move forward in our lives. There are plenty of new flavors to allow the Devil his tricks, but we have to be strong and fight the fight. We have to continue to fight and never let go. The last thing we want to do is be one step away from turning the corner we can’t turn back from. We can only do so much to help those who’ve fallen victim to the lies. We have to keep pushing forward and try to bring the light to the darkness. I’m reminded of the Jorker from The Dark Knight. Are we just one bad day from crossing the line? Are we one bad day from embracing the darkness? We must continue to fight against that and remember Jesus is the light of the world and is always with us.

 

Brace For Impact

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Brace For Impact

Brace for impact is a common phrase found on aircraft or ships that are about to hit something else. We as Christians should know that in our lives it’s not a matter if the crash may come, but when. When we follow Christ we know that we will always have the Devil nipping at our heals. It’s only a matter of time before the Devil gets us in his sites, and the targets on our minds and our souls will be his focus. He probes through our thoughts and finds our weaknesses. He tries to trip us up in our walk with the Lord, and he tries to break our spirits. The crash will come and our survival will depend on how well we can brace for the impact when it comes.

The Storm Comes

 No matter how careful we are to avoid conflict, or even if we avoid people, the storm will one day find you. You can follow all the rules, dot all the I’s and cross all your T’s but no matter how careful you are, the storm finds each and every one of us. When we look to scripture it’s very clear on this point. John 16:33 “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” Struggles come in many forms. They come in money, in conflict with people, loosing your job, or in physical ailment, but no matter how it comes, the impacts can be catastrophic. For me, my war isn’t money anymore, it’s not conflict with others either, it’s being alone. My biggest battle is the battle for my heart. The wounds I deal with are consistently at the forefront of my mind. The loss of my wife to divorce, the loss of my friends and family, and the failure of my body mixing with the ability to get to a better place has been a complete uphill battle. In the military we are taught to be on alert, to always look for danger, and to prepare for battle all the time. Luke 21:36 “Be alert at all times. Pray so that you have the power to escape everything that is about to happen and to stand in front of the Son of Man.” When we prepare ourselves we learn to feel the change in the wind, we learn to allow ourselves to be more perceptive, but we must learn to handle the day when the storm bares down on us at full force.

Temptations

 The time will come when the Devil will nip at your heals, and do everything to tempt you, to get you to fall flat, to walk away from everything you hold most dear. We will spend our lives fighting the temptation that will knock on our door. The lies that we are told every day from the Devil are to distract us, to draw us away from the mission. The Devil will break down our walls, and he will try to take everything we hold in our hearts. He tries to take our loved ones, our friends, and our relationship with God. 1 Peter 5:8 “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” We must remain alert before the rash, during the crash, and after the crash. Remain clear minded, and vigilant. We must learn to find way to face the fire every day. We must learn to keep our faith, our strength when the wolf growls at the door. The wolf will come and when it does we must stand tall, stand firm, and be ready for anything.

The Trials

 No matter the form of the trials everyone’s different and no matter what it is, it’ll have an affect. The way we handle any given situation has as many paths as the human brain has synapses. What we say, or what we do, all of which will change any passing moment. What do you do when the plane is crashing down? When you’re in the seat and you have no control? Do you place your head between your knees and pray to God for safety? Do you ask for forgiveness? Do you thank God for the life lived and ask for peace of your loved ones? Sometimes when the crash comes we aren’t in control. Sometimes when the world falls down around us we don’t’ have control over the car, but we do have control over ourselves. We’re never alone in the trials, and we always have our options. 1 Corinthians 16:13 “Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.” Although we will find ourselves in the fight of our lives sometimes we must have faith that in that fight we aren’t alone. Rest assured that the Holy Spirit is always with you.

I was in Iraq on September 12th 2004. It was early in the morning when our mission started. A joint operation with the Marines and as simple as the mission should have been it wasn’t. Before the mission had a chance to get underway an IED (Improvised Explosive Device) was in the road causing the mission to change. What started as a massive door to door raid turned into an EOD mission. That was until the truck in front of me took two IED’s and small arms fire. Soon after their truck was hit, my truck was hit. We were led into a well coordinated attack, an ambush that would nearly destroy my own truck, and do heavy damage to both vehicles. I remember when the first bullet hit my door. My truck had taken several rounds to the hood prior to my door getting hit, but in my own mind the situation got real when that bullet bounced off my door. As both hands move to the wheel I felt a warm comfort flow over my whole body. I felt as if my hands were being guided and I felt completely at ease. As RPG’s (Rocket Propelled Grenades) flew overhead, or just barely missed the truck (12 counted) none made direct contact. Even though the damage to my truck was severe, we made it back safely with no injuries between the two trucks involved. I know beyond a doubt the Holy Spirit was with us that day. Ecclesiastes 11:8 “But if a man live many years, and rejoice in them all; yet let him remember the days of darkness; for they shall be many. All that cometh is vanity.”

 We often find ourselves excited about upcoming events, but we never truly know what tomorrow brings. How often are we disappointed when the plan goes off the rails? Proverbs 27:1 “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” I don’t think this means we shouldn’t get excited, instead be understanding when something comes up to change the plans, and understand that the events unfolding are still within the will of God. The Devil will interfere with our lives by pulling people away, tempting others to fall pray to their own sinful desires. In that we must understand tomorrow is never guaranteed. We must always seize our day and make the best of what we have in the moment. Luke 21:19 “Stand firm, and you will win life.” This comes with a measure of endurance and we need to be ready for the joys to come our way, be ready for the temptations that come our way, and be ready when the impact comes our way.

Plan For it

Before the plane takes off the safety briefing is displayed. It’s the plan for what to do in the emergency. The Bible also offers our instructions for the emergencies. When you truly read the Bible there’s not much you would see today that didn’t happen back then. There may be all kinds of new flavors of Sin, but the sin at the rout is still the same. No matter what you’re experiencing you can find the how to located in the Holy Word of God. We need to first see the emergency and once we do that we can identify what it is. Proverbs 22:3 “The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.” It’s not always prudent to run into the fray. Sometimes it’s better to seek shelter to weather the storm. We must remember that most attacks on us no matter if it’s the wife leaving you, a death in the family, a loss of a job; it’s all an emotional attack. The mind is the biggest thing we face attacks on. When we look at the Apostil Paul, a man who was beaten, ship wrecked, thrown to the lions, verbally and physically attacked, no matter what he faced, he never lost his spirit, or his way. We must always be ready for our crash and expect that it’s not a matter of if, but when it’ll come. Don’t be a cynic and always expect the worst, on the contrary, always hope for the very best. Prepare however for the crash just in case.

 

What’s In Your Heart?

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

What’s in your heart?

17 months and I haven’t had any nibbles. I realized for every one worm there’s 15-30 fish. The women just dangle the worm and doesn’t have to do anything. So women, they get to pick the biggest shiniest fish out there. The thing with social dating sites is the emphasis on the physical attraction, and what’s written in the profile is glazed over. While we know what scripture says about your outward appearance, and what God thinks is most important. People will judge others, while God judges the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7 “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” Why can’t we look beyond the flesh to the soul within?

I was told recently that in all of the dating apps out there women are focused on the looks, and because they get so many men to choose from those who look like models are often picked up first, and those who do not, well, they fall to the wayside. Sadly it seems my fish analogy is spot on. While I change my photo’s regularly, and I update what’s written often, as to keep my profiles lively. This however hasn’t changed the outcome, or my luck.

For several or more years I have often been guilty of allowing those who’ve hurt me to remain in my life after a period of time. Someone hurts me and months or years later they pop back up into my life, and once again I allow them access to my life. More often then not, over time that renewed friendship is broken and often in the same it was broke the first time. I have always believed that people are human and they make mistakes. We look only to our own pleasure, the pleasure in someone’s looks, or the pleasure they bring to our lives, and when that pleasure is gone, we as a people move on. I have always tried to look into a person’s heart and see the best in them. We should always learn to seek the heart after God, and not the outer shell. We should always seek ones true self, the actionable, the outward appearance of one’s inner self. True people will hurt you, people will make mistakes, but it’s important not to be taken advantage of.

Learning what’s in someone’s heart is important. It’s important not to be unequally yoked. 2 Corinthians 6:14 “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” In all the time I’ve been trying to get back into dating I have maintained my search for a Christian women to give my heart too. While I have found myself wrestling with my current situation I find that in my heart I am becoming weary. I am tired of seeking people only to be lied to, and dismissed. The thing with our society these days is based so much out the outward appearance. The sad thing about that is, looks fade. Love no longer matters, and people are so easily offended and scared away, that it makes communication a dying art. We don’t take the time to get to know anyone anymore. We don’t take the time to learn about someone, ask them questions, have long heart felt talks, and more importantly, to bond with someone. I’ve found friends that come and go so easily aren’t truly happy with themselves. Lovers who leave for no reason, who give up everything once worked for, are truly broken inside.

If you want to look at someone’s heart, you should look to how they’ve handled rejection. Look at how they handle conflict, and dealt with difficult people. It’s in those moments when they are forced to make a choice. We have both light and dark inside us, and we are always capable of both extraordinary love and compassion, or deep-seated hate and resentment. When you look at someone’s behavior you will get a glimpse of who they are. Sure people are human and there will be times when they don’t put their best foot forward, but when you look at an overall representation, you will see that when the heart is tested, the true nature will rear it’s head. A person who out of anger slashes someone’s tires, or makes up stories and lies, or sells a house full of items behind someone’s back, that person is angry, and vengeful. On the other hand, a person who gives friendly gifts, or offers a shoulder to cry on, or rescues someone from a current boyfriend who’s beat them, regardless of the things done, you can see the difference in the heart. People most always disserve a second chance. People always disserve forgiveness. When we are looking for friends, or for love, we need to remember to look at actions, and look at patters to show one’s heart. “It’s not who I am underneath, it’s what I do that defines me!” (Batman Begins)

 Show your heart and make no mistake that you are beautiful on the inside. There’s a line from the suicide squad that got me thinking. Captain Boomerang (Digger Hartness) was talking to Harley Quinn, he said this, “You know, outside you’re amazing. But inside, you’re ugly.” (Suicide Squad) The thing is when we judge a book by its cover we never truly see what lies beneath. When we look only at what’s on the outside we will often miss the beauty that God created on the inside. Someone as beautiful as Harley Quinn is perfect on the outside but on the inside she’s as broken as they come, and crazy isn’t a strong enough word to describe her. We as Christians need to do better with how we treat others. We need to do better with that big J word that’s floated around and we claim we never do, but we do, and that’s pass judgment. We do it every time we look at someone, every time we talk with someone, and it’s caused a lot of pain and heartache for people. It’s time we learn to look beyond the outer shell, and look more deeply. We should be curious to get to know our brothers and sisters. We should be curious to connect and reach out, and help those in need. We cannot sit idly by and do nothing when our neighbor’s heart is broken. We must share in the joy of life, and help when that joy is broken. We should want to extend our hearts to those in need, and stop judging people by what we see.

I have learned a hard lesson in the last year, and that’s people aren’t what I thought. I never realized how shallow, and selfish people can be on the whole. While I’m obviously not talking in absolutes, black and white, I am talking about the majority, or at least from my vantage point. See we can only come to conclusions based on what we see, what we experience, and although that may not be a fair assessment, it’s the only one some people have. In my experience online dating is a farce, and people are shallow and cruel. While I hope one day to be proven wrong, thus far, the evidence I’ve gathered doesn’t show that. A 30 something, white male, with average looks, and a standing Christian, just doesn’t seem to be what attracts women these days. Now let me say this, attraction is very important in any relationships, and marriage. This cannot be the soul purpose to a relationship though. Looks fade and we must trust in the heart over the eyes. While I have undoubtedly not raised many eyebrows, I realize I cannot give up hope. Every day is a new chance, a new opportunity, and in my search for my counterpart, I realize that in all things we must understand that it’s God’s schedule, not our own that matters. Patience and understand are virtues we must learn to embrace. If you’ve have trouble finding love as I have, don’t give up hope. Remember that prayer alone is not everything, but action is just as important. We must learn to allow prayer and guidance to move our feet in the right direction. We can pray for money, but if we don’t work towards it, it’s not going to show up on our doorstep. Love is the same way. We must go out and be apart of the world. We can’t just sit by and hope it comes to us. We have to have faith, but have action. Show others what’s in your heart, and don’t hide away from your true nature just because you want people to like you. If someone doesn’t like you because you’re a nerd, or you’re a Christian, or you build Lego sets for fun, then they aren’t right for you. Stay strong in your search, and don’t forget to pray about it. Don’t forget to thank God for what you have, and never give up hope. One day your waiting will pay off, and the right things will come to you.

 

 

 

Play the Long Game

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Play the Long Game

I was thinking recently about prayer. Why do we pray to God, and how do we think about that relationship? I’ve recently found myself frustrated that after all this time my prayers hadn’t been answered. I found myself thinking I had done something to upset God and therefore I wouldn’t be getting His grace. I kept thinking to myself ‘I spend all this time lifting others up, I help people and I guide them in the light of the Lord. So why am I left without the one thing I really want in this world?” While this question taunted me in both my dreams and my waking moments, it finally dawned on me. I remembered when I was younger. I was 15 years old and I was having some family problems. Long story short I needed to change my situation and I needed to make a move that would be permanent. With few options I realized I might have to move in with my Grandfather. With a little effort the move with my Grandpa was rather seamless. His house had 3 bedrooms so size wasn’t an issue. The school there was rumored to be a great school and smaller, much smaller so that would actually work out for me. The thing is, Grandpa had been trying to sell his house on and off for a few years and had absolutely no luck. Had his prayers been answered I wouldn’t have had a place to go in my time of need. For me moving to Big Rapids was the best choice I could have ever made. See, unanswered prayers were by design within the long game, and perhaps in the short term an inconvenience, but God doesn’t play the short game.

DSCN0481

2 Timothy 4:7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” When you train for a marathon you learn to take your time, we learn to pace ourselves and see the bigger picture within our race. We always want so badly to finish the race and get the prize, but we don’t want to work to get there. On this long road we find ourselves on, do we get impatient when it comes to our prayers? I have been praying for the same thing for nearly 18 months now and my prayers have yet to be answered. I have asked why, and I have I fallen on my knees as tears fall from my face begging for my prayers to be answered and still I am met with silence.

Lord, I need you, BY: Matt Maher

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You’re the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

See the thing about prayer, and the thing about God is there’s a plan, and His plan isn’t always our plan, in fact his plan is never our plan. I have tried to remember on this lonely path of mine that sometimes we must learn to rest our minds and give it up to God. Prayer comes with one thing that’s so important and that’s faith. When we pray we are asking God to take care of said prayer. Whatever it is desired in our hearts that we take to God we must have Faith that those things are being taken care of, even if it’s not to our speed, or our liking. When we are hurting, or when we are lonely in our own time facing those valleys it can feel like an eternity. When we face our eternity the storm is terrifying, and we question how we can ever make it through. We question how we’re ever going to be strong enough to survive such a terrible storm. When you feel like you’ve lost your way, and you don’t know what to say, just remember that God gave us Christ, and in that we will always have hope. No matter the length of our prayers, the time we wait will not be for nothing.

DSCN0494

When you feel like you are in the storm and you feel broken, and lost, wandering around in the worst pain you’ve ever felt, remember that in our sorrows, we turn to the one place we can find truth, real answers, and we will be renewed in our strength.

DSCN0485


God of All My Days By: Casting Crowns

 I came to You with my heart in pieces
And found the God with healing in His hands
I turned to You, put everything behind me
And found the God who makes all things new
I looked to You, drowning in my questions
And found the God who holds all wisdom
And I trusted You and stepped out on the ocean
You caught my hand among the waves
‘Cause You’re the God of all my days

 Each step I take
You make a way
And I will give You all my praise
My seasons change, You stay the same
You’re the God of all my days

 I ran from You, I wandered in the shadows
And found a God who relentlessly pursues
I hid from You, haunted by my failure
And found the God whose grace still covers me
I fell on You when I was at my weakest
And found the God, the lifter of my head
And I’ve worshiped You
And felt You right beside me
You’re the reason that I sing
‘Cause You’re the God of all my days

 

Worship is hard sometimes when you hurt. The road is long, but the “juice is always worth the squeeze” when God is concerned. God will never leave nor will He forsake you. We cannot see the joys that are coming in our life, but when we walk with God our blessings will be endless. We long for things in our heart, and when the time is right for us, we will be granted those things if they are to lift us up. The Lord can give and take away anything. I know for me, I long for the love of another. I feel alone most of my days and I struggle to find the joy in the things around me. I have prayed till my tears would flow no more. I have prayed with everything I had and yet no answer. It’s not easy to quiet your mind and allow the world to happen all around you, and find yourself content. It’s not easy being bombarded with lies from the Devil telling you, you’re not good enough. Lies telling you that you’ll never be loved, never be wanted. The Devil tells you lies like you’re worthless, and helpless. The Devil tells you, you deserved the pain that was brought down upon you. When we are in our own pain, it’s hard to see the way out of that. Sometimes the pain we’re in lasts a long time. Sometimes the heartbreak we feel goes far beyond what we ever expected it would. The long game though, a journey of thistles and thorns, the trials of fire to forge you into something more. You must be broken down to be built up stronger as something else. When you don’t know how to stand, don’t, fall to your knees and pray. When you don’t know how to walk anymore, crawl. When you can’t see your way, stop and close your eyes. When you can’t move, learn to be still. When your world is upside down, learn to pray, learn to cry, learn to be exactly wherever you are. God will allow you to go through Hell to get to Heaven. You’re stronger then you know, because if you have God in your heart you can achieve greatness. You’re a child of the King and if that’s the truth, then you have the winning side in your corner. Have faith and keep your sight on the Golden Ring.

DSCN0455

My God,

You have seen it fit to allow me to walk this path alone on this earth. You have seen it fit to give me just what I need to keep moving forward. My God you have seen it fit to leave me alone with no companion. You’ve seen it fit to allow my body to fail me, and with no sign of reprieve I ask you my God to take me out of the shadows. My God I ask for you to remove this pain from my heart and show me the sun once more. I pray to you to take me out of this storm and give me rest. My God you are the God of all the hills and valleys and I pray to be laid beside the green meadows, and no longer in the valley. I have trusted you my Lord and as I still do I know that in all things you have the power and the will to change anything. My God I ask to help my friends who are suffering this night. I pray you give them rest, and peace where they need it. I pray to rise me up to the top of the mountain and give me the strength to stand, and run, free from the shadows that taunt me at night. I know I’m not alone even though I often feel like it. Protect me from the lies I hear in the dark. Protect me from the attacks I face day in and day out. I know my God someday I will move forward, and I know that even though I feel like I’m going backwards, and I know I’m not home yet. I know I have more to do, and I pray for the wisdom to see it through to the end. I pray to have the strength and wisdom of my brother Paul who was your beautiful Child, who ran the race, and taught and preached your word. I see so much, and I pray I see through your eyes. I know that today isn’t the end, and even though I feel tired, and I feel weak, I know that you will strengthen me to finish strong. Guide me through this storm, and allow me to continue to do the works you have me do. Allow this little Blog to grow and spread further into the world. Allow my struggles to be someone else’s strength. Give me guidance and if your will is to answer my prayers I understand it will be in your time. In all things I give thanks and I pray for peace and joy upon my friends and family. “I’ll live this life till this life won’t let me live here anymore.” (Big & Rich) Your will be done my Lord, my King, my Abba.

Amen.

 

 

 

 

Play Well With Others

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Play Well With Others

What are your values? Where do you gather your value system and how that treats to others. Matthew 6:21 “Your Treasure is where your heart is.” Men share facts, women share feelings. How does this cause problems in our relationships? When life is an experience how do we experience things differently? Men we are goal, or mission oriented. Women are experience oriented. Take shopping for instance, we have our differences, but how does this affect the relationship? Women will hunt for the best deals, men we negotiate with conflict. Men loose self esteem in financial hardships. Inside men struggle when financial hardships are present. Women have terror when there are financial hardships. Men we need to learn to reassure our women that things will be okay. Women reassure men that they aren’t worthless because the bank is low. We need to learn how to manage our stress and how we work together. This isn’t just in relationships of the intimate variety, but in all relationships we have.

As a people we must learn to unify with our fellow Christians. When we are at work do we leave Jesus at the door on our way out? When we are ‘Yoked Equally” When we are with people who are unified, we are stronger then we can ever believe when we help carry the cross. When we are together we will fill in for the others weaknesses. We are all weak in different areas, and when we find mutual goals, we can lift up one another when needed. We can be amazing Christians if we decide to work towards the same mission.

Play well with others 3

When I think of playing well with others I think of Batman and the Justice League. Individually Batman works alone or with a select partner. Batman wants to control the situation because he is wired to have control over his life. When he lost his parents he had no control, and after that he decided he never wanted to not be in control anymore. When there’s a need though, Batman is able to let go of some of his control issues and he works together with the rest of the League. We must learn that we all bring something special to the table. Each of us has our own gifts that are unique to us, and with that, we are special because we are perfectly created by God. When the Avengers first came together they being strong personalities rubbed each other the wrong way. This happens sometimes, but when it starts to happen the right things to do is take a step back, check your own personal pride, and your own ambitions, and ask yourself how you are inhibiting the group effort. We have our own ideas, and we have our own goals, but whether it’s at home in a marriage dealing with money or raising children, or dealing with people at work.

Where are you on the spectrum of dealing with people? Are you someone who can manage to work with people, or are you a loner? No matter where you are on the spectrum Luke 6:27-36 applies. “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic[a] either. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. 32 “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.”

Play well with others 1

It’s hard to love everyone, and to be a team player all the time. We don’t want to allow people to take advantage of us, but in our home life, in our work life, and in our public lives we must learn to get along and work together. No matter if your Batman, or Tony Stark, you should learn to place nice. We will always be put into situations where we will be forced to work on things we may not like. God always wants us to grow, and to quote from my favorite Android, “To grow beyond my original programming.” (Data) Whatever you do in your life always push yourself to be exceptional, not just ordinary. Push yourself to grow, and never stop growing. Make sure your values and your compass point towards the word of God. When your compass points in the right direction, dealing with difficult situations can often be difficult, and a challenge even for the most devout, but in all things be Christ like.

WALK A MILE

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

WALK A MILE

Don’t judge because you don’t know what someone’s been through. I’ve seen it a lot where people pass judgment on others, and even on me. I have lost many friends in my life because of one sad thing, judgment. Don’t we judge the homeless man? Don’t we judge the person with tattoos all over their body? Don’t we judge others based on what we see, or what we think? When we judge based on what we think, lest not we be judged. Matthew 7:1-3 ““Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” We don’t know what someone’s going through, and we don’t know how or why they are in their own situation that you are judging them. When we decide to leave someone because they are going through a hard time, think about how you would feel if you were in their shoes. If you spend a little while walking a mile in someone’s shoes, know that the truth is, you never know how you would respond, and yet you are so quick to condemn others when you have no idea how they feel, or what they are going through.

What It’s Like

We’ve all seen a man at the liquor store beggin’ for your change

The hair on his face is dirty, dread-locked, and full of mange

He asks a man for what he could spare, with shame in his eyes

“Get a job you f***** slob, ” is all he replies

God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes

‘Cause then you really might know what it’s like to sing the blues

We think we know, and we think we see the truth, but the fact is we really don’t. When experience is unique based on a lifetime of compound experiences, how dare us for thinking we have any right at all to judge anyone for the precarious predicament someone finds themselves in. That drunk outside the store, maybe he’s a Vietnam veteran, and maybe he has nightmares and flashbacks of being a soul survivor in an ambush in the jungle. Maybe he drinks to hide away from the pain. I’m not condoning drinking to hide from anything, nor am I condoning self medicating, but what would you do? If you had lived through something like that, how would you handle it? When you put a little perspective on why he’s in that situation it changes your response, or at least it should.

A while back, I was told by one of my best friends that I deserved my ex wife having an affair. I deserved her leaving and all of the horrible things she did to admittedly try to get me to hate her. When judgment was passed upon me, I fought back. See, I think one of the biggest things we sinners do is forget that when we are in pain, we often project that pain onto others. We don’t treat others in pain very well. We don’t place our selves before we decide guilt. We come to conclusions without the facts, and we condemn before we understand. We are blind and we often chose not to see. We don’t see truth; instead we make up our own truth. We decide that we have to be right because what else could it be? We never think beyond our own little box. We believe that anyone who doesn’t prescribe to our own thought processes must be wrong.

(God’s Not Dead 2 Spoilers)

In the movie God’s Not Dead 2, the pastor is removed as a juror in the trial because he needs surgery. In his place an alternate, a young girl with a skater look, piercings, and not at all someone you’d ‘think’ would swing to the defendants side. When the trial is over you see her walk by the defendant who was just found not guilty, and on the back of her neck a tattoo of a cross. She was the swing vote, and a voice for God. I’ve seen men with tattoo’s up and down their bodies preach the gospel louder then those who grew up in the church. I’ve seen men with sorted pasts, criminal pasts, who are the voice of the bible as they are firm believers. We just don’t know what someone’s going through. We don’t know what someone’s gone through in their past. We see with our own eyes, and we should try to see with God’s eyes.

Give Me Your Eyes, By: Brandon Heath

Step out on the busy street.
See a girl and our eyes meet.
Does her best to smile at me.
To hide what’s underneath.
There’s a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie.
Too ashamed to tell his wife he’s out of work, he’s buyin time.
All those people going somewhere, why have I never cared.

 We see the world through sinners eyes and we are blind to the truth. We make up our own truth, and we sin when we pass judgment upon others. Are we so self righteous that we think we are the gold standard for good behavior? We have no business, or right to think our moral judgment stand above God’s. Everyone’s pain is different and unless we’ve lived someone’s life, we have no right to do anything but lift up, to help, to guide those we come in contact with. When we pass our own conclusions we become hypocrites. We become no better then the Pharisees Jesus spoke out against. We become no better then the one-sided news agencies we argue about. We become no better then crooked politicians and when we look upon someone with the contempt that comes with judgments we are looking at them with darkness in our heart. We do not show or share compassion like we should.

We all need to face a hard reality check. John 8:4-9 “4 they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. 5 Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” 6 This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7 And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9 But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him.” Jesus is not condoning her actions, he is not condemning her either, he is looking upon her with compassion and forgiveness. He teaches us to not be so quick to condemn others for their mistakes, or their sins. Instead help those in need, guide those who sin, and be a light for them. “Go forth and sin no more.” He tells her. He shows her kindness and empathy. We must learn to love the sinner, hate the sin. We must learn to hold everyone in our hearts and spread the gospel.

If we spent as much time spreading the word of God to those around us, as we do looking upon others with contempt, imagine how many lives we could touch with the word of God. If we spent as much time in self-reflection as we spend criticizing others, we would have a far better walk with God. We need to take that gaze and turn it inward and then we will find we might not like what we see. Once the gaze is on ourselves we can better ourselves to have a far better walk with Jesus. The only judgment that will ever matter is that of the Lord, and that in which the Lord sees within us. If we are pure in heart, and faithful to the word of God we will find our actions will become pleasing. We should walk and talk in the reflection of Christ. We must learn that in all places, and to all people we are loving and compassionate. Do not seek conflict, and do not think you know what’s best for everyone. Find your faith that in all things God is working behind the scenes, and things will always work out to glorify our God. Before you judge be sure to walk that mile in someone else’s shoes. Then, you may understand what they are going through.

 

 

 

 

 

Dont’ Waste your Kindness

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Don’t Waste your Kindness

What kind of person are you? Lets take a look and let’s be honest and promise not to lie to one another. When we truly evaluate ourselves and how we treat others, do we truly fall on the side of light or dark? I’ve been told I’m overly forgiving. This isn’t exactly a bad trait, but when you allow someone to take advantage then a healthy line should be dawn. I’ve been told I’m to empathetic. I often give people chance after chance to come in and out of my life, but sadly I’m the one who always ends up hurt. I fail miserably in drawing healthy boundaries in the sand. I allow people to walk all over me and I often find myself wondering why me? This can lead to a hardening of your heart if you aren’t careful. Because of the constant painful experiences, and constant loss in the last year, I’ve questioned my policies, and my place in this world.

Philippians 2:3 [Let] nothing [be done] through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. We must remember to remain true to our walk with God. We must remember that we are to lift up with the tongue never to tear down. We are commanded to Love and love everyone. 1 John 4:8 “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” We must remember this that loving is a choice. I’m not talking about when you fall in love for someone and you love them romantically, I’m talking about loving in the love of all men/women. We have to keep the love in our hearts, and be empathetic and sympathetic to those in need. Ephesians 4:2 “2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,” Having patience is a command, not a request. Knowing to be patient with people because people are human, and we are all full of Sin, and we are all going to make mistakes. Those mistakes are to be forgiven and we are to love the sinner. No matter the hurt we have a choice to make. How do we treat others, and how do we help those around us fall? Do we berate them? Do we abandon them? Do we help them in their time of need?

1 John 3:16-18 “16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. 17 But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? 18 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” We must remember to be there for those in need. We have to resist putting ourselves in harms way, but we must put ourselves out there. It’s a fine line and we have to keep our heads high. While everyone deserves a second chance because at any time during someone’s life they can turn around, we must pray and have hope. Everyone deserves kindness, everyone deserves to be loved and to have someone listen when they are in need.

My suggestion would be to find a balance between enabling someone and helping someone who genuinely needs it. I myself admit I’m easily taken advantage of. I become much less aware when I am going through hard times, or when I’m lonely, but in those times I seek attention and I often find the wrong type. I allow people to treat me badly over and over again because I feel I should look at the good they can be instead of seeing the vial they are being. I have to work on this, and I am working on finding healthier ways to interact with others. I cannot watch as friends come and go as they please so long as something’s in it for them. As I have watched many of my so-called friends leave in the last year and some change, I have come to realize that some people are only in a friendship so long as they get something out of it. Some people will come around and smile, and play nice because they want you for a particular reason, and once the status quo changes, they will leave. I have seen fair weather friends come and go and as it’s heart breaking. I know I need to draw a healthier boundary with people I come into contact with, and above all else, I think I need to not be so invested in others. I give my heart and I get crushed. I’ve been taking it personally, and there’s been a mixed opinion if I should or not, but I feel like I do. Don’t harden your heart to never be kind to others, just make sure that you are kind to everyone, but be cautious who you invest more then just kind words with.

Find your Place

thearrowpreacher2 Comments

Find your Place

I’ve had a lot of people tell me lately how lost they are. It’s not easy when you feel like you’re floundering around in the open sea. The feeling of being in the ocean alone, in the darkness of the night, bouncing around, not sure what’s going to happen to you, if you’ll be alright, or how you’re ever going to make it. Sometimes the truth doesn’t make it any easier. “Neo, sooner or later you’re going to realize just as I did that there’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.” (Morpheous) When we are in a place of pain, it can be hard to think straight. When we are lost in the woods it’s hard to tell that the path is just next to us. When we are walking aimlessly and lost sometimes it takes a new perspective. From a birds eye view you can easily see the path of the maze, but when you’re walking inside of it, it can be scary, and unforgiving. The lost can be scared, and when we don’t know where to go, fear can be overwhelming. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Hope springs eternal, and sometimes what we need is right in front of us all along.

Go The Distance, By: Micheal Bolton
I have often dreamed of a far off place
Where a hero’s welcome would be waiting for me
Where the crowds would cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying this is where I’m meant to be
I’ll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way if I can be strong
I know every mile would be worth my while
When I go the distance, I’ll be right where I belong

When we’re lost and we are in seek of something, or someone there’s something we have to remember. 1 Peter 5:7 “casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” We spend so much time allowing our anxieties to rule our lives, but what if we spend even a fraction of that time worrying about our path with God? We know that scripture tells us that we shouldn’t worry because God’s grace and control is over everything. We must learn to have trust and faith, and let go of our worries. Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” The Lord will strengthen us when we are weary from our journey. When we thirst we need only to go to the living water of life.

I have found that goals are important in our walk. When I am lost I first turn to God and pray for guidance. Then I sit down and I pen out my goals, my wants, my passions, and after I write down how to get there. Where do I start, and what path do I take? While I realize penning out your life doesn’t exactly seem practical it forces you to think and realize what’s possible and what’s not. Brainstorming is an important aspect of life, and when we take the time to put it out there, we may very well stumble onto what we were looking for all along. 1 Corinthians 10:31 “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” If we are following God in our heart then the world will be a better place. If you put a little love in your heart, and you follow that love, follow the love of what God has planned for you to good work, and you’ll find your path. I know a guy who can sculpt wood so well it’s unbelievable, and he does it to help the healing process for veterans who’ve passed on. I know people who can sing, and dance, and draw, and when we focus on our gifts, our talents, and use them to glorify God the rest will come. While I’ve yet to find my place in this world, I’m starting to get the bigger picture. I know it’s not easy to change jobs, or to leave something you’ve done for so long, but I know that although change is hard, sometimes it’s needed. Change can be scary, and just like the maze you never know what’s lurking in the dark, but prepare mind, body, and soul, and you can face off against any monster or demons that may be lurking around the corner. With God on your side you cannot be stopped from the inevitable outcome. We learn from failure, and that’s when we grow the most. Don’t be afraid to take a chance just because you may fail. We need to fail in order to learn life’s greatest lessons. Failure is okay as long as you don’t stay down when you get punched. Learn to take life by the horns and fight back. This is the only life you get, so go out there and make the best of it.

Lord, I feel the storm raging inside and I don’t know where to go. Lord I feel the darkness and it scares me. The journey seems folly and I can’t find my way. Lord save me from my sorrow, save me from my pain, save me from my loneliness that plagues me. Lord my Lord, the world has hurt me, and I don’t know what else to do. The storms so loud in my head I can’t hear you, but I know you can hear me. Lord my Lord, guide me and protect me. Please my God end this storm and show me the sun again. The pain inside is deep and I can’t feel the pain anymore, I just feel numb. I cry and I cry, and I know you hear me in this storm. My God my God please hear me now, please watch over me and guide me to where I’m meant to be. You made me and I know you have a purpose and although I can’t see it, please release me from this pain. If this is punishment please forgive me. If this is a test, please show leniency. Please my God show me the way through this storm that I’ve been in so long now. My God you are wonderful, and giving, kind, and true, I trust My Lord, I trust in you. Amen