Tag: comfort

Good Enough?

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Good Enough?

If you are going through your life telling yourself you’re a good enough person and you think that’s what it takes to make it into heaven I have sad news for you, you won’t. John 14:6 “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” People seem to think that if they put enough money in the collection plate they are doing good enough for God. People think that volunteering or helping out the elderly is good enough for their golden ticket to wonderland. The truth is, harsh as it may seem, your good works are trash before God if you do not believe in the Son. God while he appreciates your good works, and your good nature, it means nothing if you do not accept the blood spilt upon Calvary’s cross that day 2000 years ago. Good works come with salvation because there is a fundamental change in your heart. Galatians 10:18 “So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” We should want to help because when the Holy Spirit moves in us we have a desire to do good for others less fortunate then ourselves.

 

You think you are the center of the universe and you can make up your own rules about what’s okay and what isn’t. You think you can follow the law, and that you can compare one law to the next. So many times I’ve heard, ‘yea I have broken a few laws, but at least I’ve never stolen anything, or killed anyone.’ While that’s nice, sin before the Lord is just as bad as the next sin. There are 613 laws in the Old Testament. How many times have you broken OT laws? But you’ve never killed anyone right? Your works don’t mean anything because that’s not where your salvation lays. With most laws there are loopholes you can squeeze out of. I know someone who drove drunk, got stopped and blew in the field above the legal limit. It’s likely that person will manage out of trouble because they didn’t blow twice in the field which is the standard for anyone who blows above the legal limit. So, because of a technicality they may avoid serious trouble. With God there is no loophole. With salvation there is no loophole. If you do not believe in the sacrifice of the Son there is no chance to salvation for you. We would never be able to keep all the laws. The laws are there to act as a reminder how to act, not to provide you salvation. An evil person does not obey the laws and yes while they are breaking laws, the heart is the problem. A good person who does good works and is kind to others, but doesn’t know the Lord is on the same plane as the evil person. We cannot judge someone based on our standards because lets face it, peoples, or societies standards have drastically changed over time. If you want to know your going to be saved, you must accept the only way to heaven, and that’s Jesus Christ. Nothing else you do will matter until you find and accept Christ.

 

Without Christ nothing else matters. Every law, every action we are told to take points us to one thing, Christ. We cannot base our salvation on our own standards. We are meaningless without Christ. Without Christ our lives mean absolutely nothing. You seek truth, and you seek knowledge but you deny the words in a book you find antiquated. You believe science is the end all to all the questions. You believe theories to be truth, and yet in every theory is a new counter theory. While some theories sound good, it’s the beginning of understanding, not the end. We must understand that we are children and as children we aren’t told everything. We are guided, we are taught as time goes on, but we never stop learning, we never stop growing. There is to much evidence to deny the existence of Jesus Christ and to deny the works of his time would be folly. You have no idea the dangers that existed for those men who traveled with Christ. Their very lives were threatened every day, and they knew they could live long happy lives if they just denounced Christ and walked away. Every one of them chose to pursue the truth because the truth was stronger then anything they would face in this world. It wasn’t their works that secured their place in heaven, but their love and devotion for Christ. Their sacrifice gave us the eye witness accounts so we may know what happened in those 3 years of Jesus’s ministry. They died so we may live. They gave us the instructions inspired by God, and what they experienced first hand. 2 Corinthians 12:11 “I have been a fool! You forced me to it, for I ought to have been commended by you. For I was not at all inferior to these super-apostles, even though I am nothing.” At this time Paul was being attacked for his position. Instead of trying to defend himself and his own resume, he stood up saying he was nothing because the only thing that truly matters is Christ. “Who you are, in this moment in time, and who you want to be. You get one life, you decide how you’re going to spend it.” (Jumanji) We can either choose a life following Christ, or suffer the consequences. As for me, I’d rather not spend eternity in hell because I was too stubborn to follow the truth.

 

 

Chasing Waterfalls

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Chasing Waterfalls

I have spent years looking for what was right in front of me, but sadly I couldn’t see the things I needed the most in my life. The first thing I needed to find was my own place in God’s love. The second was to realize how in a fleeting moment I would loose the women I had loved with my whole heart. Although I always felt like I gave her everything I possibly could, perhaps there was one more thing I could have given to her, my fear. I never once thought the day would come when she wouldn’t be standing by my side so I never felt the need to be jealous, or concerned with other guys. I consider now the two things in my life I needed the most and yet now after I lost so much, it feels like I may be too late. If I only had a chance to say my hearts desire and have them be heard could I change my fate? Tomorrow the sun will rise and I will have one of my failings be placed on the right path, but the other, I have a heavy heart. The women I loved is still gone because of my own inaction, my own failures as a leader of my household, and I must accept the responsibility of her leaving. While I have been told time and time again I am not at fault, she was happy, and then she wasn’t. I cannot stand idly by and think there was nothing I could have changed. Still, in the here and now, all I have is my hope for her, and wish her the very best on her own path. If I could tell her how much she means to me, and how much I love her, I would. I don’t know if those words would ever mean anything anymore, but perhaps one day they might. I have my path I must walk, and though it saddens me we won’t be walking this path together, I pray that maybe a miracle may happen and she finds her way back to me. Today I find myself thinking of the resurrection of Christ, which is coming. I think of the pain and suffering Christ endured for the sins of man, and yet he took the pain, took the punishment for all of us. He alone carried the burdens of Sin and freely gave his life to give everyone hope. We could only be so lucky to provide hope to someone else.

In the months after it happened, I found myself trying to move forward, trying to put my life back together but there was always something. I have wrestled with my place in this world and as I have found one of them, the other seems as elusive as a waterfall hidden in the deepest jungles. I have found peace with myself for the first time I can remember. I think it’s fitting that this weekend is about resurrection. I think it’s time for me to make some changes in my life. While I would like my life to go back to the way it was, I realize that can never happen. I’ve become a much better person now then I was back then. I have come to find my self worth and now find it’s a little easier managing being alone. I question what my future holds for me. I wonder if I’ll get my own home soon, find a new job, meet anyone special, and as I search for the answers to these questions, I remind myself to have faith, be patient, and above all, have faith in the plan that is beyond my understanding. Trusting in God isn’t always easy, but it’s something we all have to come to grips with at some point in our lives. Proverbs 3:5-6 “5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

I struggle with my own thorns, and in my struggle I lean upon the grace and mercy of the Lord. I cannot spend all my time chasing a waterfall I may never find. I must learn to let go of the things I cannot change and focus on the things I can. I cannot focus on the things I want and will never obtain. I find myself reciting the serenity prayer in my head often these days. I pray for my scenery to change and hope perhaps one day it shall. I cannot say what my future holds, but as for my past, maybe some things will never be as gone out of my life as they should be. Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” It’s time for me to stop chasing the waterfalls and to focus on what’s in front of me. It’s time I give myself the respect I deserve and stop allowing others to make me feel badly about myself. I have spent so long putting so much faith in people for my own personal validation of my own self worth that it’s no wonder I feel like garbage. If I spend my time with people who are selfish, leaches who are only in a friendship so long as they benefit, that’s on me to keep floating towards the edge of that waterfall. I have been washed down river more then once, swept over the cliff and yet I wonder why when it’s me all along. I cannot change others, but I can change my own part in it. I can stop playing so close to the edge. It’s up to me to stick closer to friendlier waters. No longer will I play in the waters edge. I cannot, I must not put myself through that any longer. God give me strength to walk away, strength to heal, to find peace.

Don’t Be a Coward

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Don’t Be a Coward

It’s not easy following God’s plan, or the path in front of you. I have spent a long time trying to fit in with the crowd yet no matter how much I’ve tried I never quite did. Recently however, I found my place in a new crowd, and let go of some of my outer defenses. By the end of the week I was nicknamed preacher, and by the end of the weak I’d realized one thing, I became courageous. We are soldiers, every last one of us. We were made to be courageous, and we were made to fight a war. Every day the Devil wins a new soul, yet our fight doesn’t end with our own personal salvation. I would say the day we are saved is when the real fight begins. It’s time we stand up, and we get out of the shadows we’ve been hiding in for far too long. It’s time to realize who the true enemy is, and take the fight to him. Step out of your comfort zone and know that in all things God will make you strong, God will give you the courage, the strength to do whatever he, The Great I AM, wishes of you. I stayed in the shadows afraid to make my faith known for fear of being rebuked. I now realize that the thing that was missing in my life was the thing I had all along. Accepting my place in this world wasn’t being accepted by the people I was surrounded by, but accepting that I am not sheep, but a Shepard. God has called upon me to speak and preach his Holy Word. It’s me that he has called to stand tall, stand proud, and proclaim the word of God. I am humbled by the opportunities He has given to me to expand my voice as I proclaim the truth in ways others enjoy reading. When I finally accepted my roll, finally allowed myself to hear what God’s been saying all along, I had an overwhelming sense of peace. My own Odyssey wasn’t to find or make friends even though I did along the way, it was to find me, it was to find who I am meant to be. When I say I was transformed I cannot overstate the pure raw power I found within that single week.

Months ago I found a song that rang truth in my ears, and I sang it over and over again. I couldn’t hear the words I was singing. I couldn’t see the message that God had sent to me. I was blogging, and I was telling the word, and yet, I felt alone, lost and afraid. I couldn’t see that it wasn’t the world that was holding me back, it was me that couldn’t see how I fit into the world. I was holding back from God afraid to go into the deep end. I was afraid that if I let go of my fear and doubts, I would be mocked, ridiculed, and hated for my stance. In the years I’ve been a Christian I am finding now, it is I, myself that’s been my own worst enemy. The Devil’s lies would be strong, and I would be to weak to stand against them. I believed the lie and even more then believing the lie, I began years ago to live in that lie. I knew I didn’t fit it with my friends, my family, even the women I would love. I would know I was worthless, and a fraud, a poser, a coward. I believed the lies so much that in every aspect of my life I lived the lie. The old saying is true, that when you lie to yourself long enough you begin to believe it. It was no different with me, I believed I was a waist of flesh, and I didn’t deserve anything. I was a nobody lost in the waves, tossed around lost in my own pain. I wasn’t fit to wear the filthy rags of a beggar on the street. The truth was I am no one, without God we are nothing. The God who created the Heavens and the Earth says I am someone, I am his child. The King of all creation, and I was made for a purpose. I was created with love, and I live to serve, to not be a slave to this world, but the Shepard to leave the comforts of home to find lost sheep. I was not created to be a pastor, but I was created to spread and share the great news of Jesus Christ. I know where I belong and it’s to be in Heaven one day with the Father, but until that day comes, it’s my place to reach as many people as I can as often as possible.

The Devil wants me to fail; he wants me to loose hope, to distract me from the mission. For so long I was afraid to step out from that boat, and now when the Devil whispers in my ear I’m not strong enough to withstand the storm, I now whisper back ‘I am the storm.’ I challenge you all to find your courage to stand up and be loud and proud. We all have our gifts, and every last one of us can be a soldier for Christ. Do not be afraid of the Devil because he can’t do anything to remove your salvation. Do not be afraid of death for we all must meet our maker someday so even if the Devil puts me on the fast path to death, that just means I get to go home sooner. The voice of truth says do not be afraid, do not be dismayed for the Lord is with you. The voice of truth says the war is won, the Devil just doesn’t know it yet. Allow your pain and suffering to fuel your faith, to stand taller, to yell as loud as you can that the living waters of the Holy Spirit have washed you creating a new creation. Don’t just say what people want to hear, say what they need to hear. Don’t be a yes man, do what’s right. Sometimes doing what’s right is to say no. The Lord has seen fit to wash away the doubt I held in my heart, and the transformation within me has been nothing short of a miracle.

I’m not a perfect man, but I strive to have my Father be proud of me. I strive for God to be pleased in what I say and what I do. I’ve seen the way I was, and the way I am, and that feeling of not fitting in was washed away. I know I will fail, and I know I will fall, but I know God will forgive my shortcomings, and I know that God will love me enough to scold me when I’m wrong, reward me when I’m good, and will over a hand when I need it. God is always with me, and I know now that sometimes being a believer in Christ may make me an outsider with man, but I will fit right in when I go home. When I expire I will leave this world, and leave this broken body for a life of beauty and perfection. I will be given a new perfect body where I will be beautiful and accepted for me. My journey didn’t end at my Odyssey, no, it was just the beginning, it was my beginning. I hope to stand tall, and stand proud proclaiming the one truth anyone will ever need. I will be attacked in the coming days, weeks, and years, by the Devil who will try to break me. I know the battle was won, but the war for me is far from over. Like so many greats before me, I could only dream of standing as tall as them. David, Esther, Moses, Paul, any of them I would gladly set as my inspiration to become more like. Each struggled with their own failings, but God has made ordinary people into legends. While I have no belief I will be remembered as a legend, I know that I can at the very least offer to leave this world a better place then where I found it. With every breath I take I now know my true place in this world. Hallelujah to the one above who helped me cut the last tie to a scared boy.

Zephaniah 3:17 “17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” The Lord created you, gave you life, and in that life inlaid gifts, talents, and a soul to love. God loved us so much that in an act of love sacrificed his only son, to spare us the pain of total separation from the Father. Romans 5:8 “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” It’s this love we see the true sacrifice made. We are not saved by works, but through God alone. Matthew 19:26 “But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” We are to live like Christ, and in that we are told to share and preach the Gospel. To gather followers, and baptize the world in the Holy Spirit, so we must be willing to follow as Christ walked. John 10:11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” Do not just stand by and watch, get out there and get ready for the long road. We cannot stay in the shallow ends if we are to be the Shepard in Christ. Ready yourselves with the armor of God Ephesians 6:10-18. Stand tall, and find your courage. The world may hate you, friends may turn their backs on you, but God, God will never forsake you. I want to be remembered when I die for being a Godly man, who fought the good fight. I want to leave behind a legacy of Godly children who follow in dad’s footsteps. But if I’m a coward and I run from danger, I run away with fear in my heart, I’ll never achieve greatness. If I am to achieve any real measure of success it must be before the Lord all mighty, not the standards of man. Stand tall, and be courageous in your walk with the Lord. Do not be afraid if you stray a little along the way, God will help you back on course. The promise made by God is a tab that’s already been paid. The Blood of Christ spilt so our sins may be forgiven and that relationship with God no longer divided. Believe in yourself because God believes in you.

 

 

God, the Ultimate Dungeon Master

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God, the Ultimate Dungeon Master

If any of you are like me then at some point in your life you sat around a room with a whole bunch of weird looking dice, a character sheet, some assorted books, and a ton of caffeine, enough to fuel an army for two days. I was a Dungeons & Dragons nerd growing up. Recently I was talking to a good friend of mine about the difference between Calvinism, and Arminianism. Without getting to much into the theological debate which I am just now starting to understand, it’s basically predestination, or free will. Where are we in our faith? While this point isn’t really important in the grand scheme of things, it’s trusting in God and knowing the path to salvation. While I do believe people have free will and we are not predestined in every aspect, I do believe some events are going to happen no matter what you do. As I stated in my recent conversation, “Kinda like an RPG. You’re gonna face the dragon, what you do is up to you.” (Arrow Preacher) Isn’t it an interesting thought that God is a master mathematician? In our life the vast majority of everything we see and touch can be found in math. If God were able to decide the percentages on every single decision you make by a percentage chance, and thus the future is slightly altered to suit God’s inevitable plan. But then my favorite theory, is actually the multi-verse theory. For every conceivable action we can make we do, and so on and so forth. A string followed by God who has the ability to pier through the looking glass past present and future. While all of this is purely personally theoretical, I will say for sure, God is the Alpha and the Omega. God see’s all and whether God is more of a hands off God, or God’s influence is in every single decision we make, it really makes no difference. God is God, Jesus Christ is our Savior, and in His blood we are washed of our sins.

Psalm 135:6 “Whatever the LORD pleases, He does, In heaven and in earth, in the seas and in all deeps.”

Psalm 115:3 “But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases.”

 Daniel 4:35 “All the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, But He does according to His will in the host of heaven And among the inhabitants of earth; And no one can ward off His hand Or say to Him, ‘What have You done?’

 Matthew 19:26 “And looking at them Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

 We must learn to be steadfast in our life toward God. While each and every day we are faced with new challenges, new obstacles, we must always look to the Dungeon Master and when we are given the choice how we are going to behave, we need to remember the DM is always watching. If we are to live our lives on our path, we need to focus on what kind of character in God’s game we want to be. We have our option to how we behave. There are several alignments in the world of D&D, and when we look them over, what type of person are we? Personally I would fall in Neutral Good. I believe sometimes the law does not offer the need to do the right thing in every circumstance. I believe if a true vigilante or hero type person were to rise, I would support that. I think sometimes in the pursuit of justice a particular eye should be viewed. Man often makes laws that don’t follow God’s laws. Once upon a time worshiping Christ was against the law in some ancient countries, and believe it or not, there are still countries today where the church is still persecuted. Thus I hold fast to the need to be Neutral Good. If Christianity were to become illegal I would continue to sidestep the law in the pursuit to worship. I believe sometimes the law doesn’t hold what’s morally right based on scripture. When you follow the Lord and stay true to the Gospel you can’t go wrong.

Man is fallible but the word of God is enduring. While we are told to follow the law of the land I don’t believe this was a black and white standing. While early Christians were following the rule of Rome, they practiced their faith some in private so they weren’t hunted. This tells me that not all laws made are justified laws, and yet we must respect God’s decisions to allow the leaders to be leaders. That being said, as a Christian I believe we must always put the word of God before the laws and words of men, and thus, Neutral Good. Sometimes bending or breaking the laws of man for the good of God’s word is necessary. Have faith and follow God. Remember when you get to your dragon, you alone have the choice as to what you are going to do.

The Thorn

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The Thorn

We all have something I hope that keeps us grounded to not boast of ourselves being conceited. I hope we all have something that keeps us in our place and reminds us that we are nothing without Christ. For me, I do not know what my thorn in, but I know what I loose, and every time I think I’ve begun to gain, I loose again, and again, and again, friendships. I have struggled with my loneliness, and my self worth that has been reliant on the approval and acceptance of others. The problem I had faced was not realizing when I had actually been accepted. I set my standards so high, even I’m not sure anyone was able to reach them. I think growing up I put so much weight on the friendships I saw on TV. I think back to the show ‘Boy Meets World’, where I put so much on the friendship between Cory and Shawn. Two peas in a pod, and yet I don’t know if I ever felt that kind of friendship with anyone. Now, looking back, I consider the relationship between Cory and Tapanga, and though I’ve been married twice, I don’t know if either wife has ever felt for me the same as I did them. I don’t believe, now I’m looking back, that anyone has felt for me the devotion perhaps they should have in order to get married. The thorn in my side is my faith in people and being let down over and over by the failures of those people in my life. It isn’t about the small mistakes people make, it’s how easily people walk away like the relationship, or me in particular didn’t mean anything to them. This of all things has been my biggest struggle, my biggest reminder of where I am. 2 Corinthians 12:7-9 “7 So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations,[a] a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

 I’ve been held in the grasp of fear, and loss, and rejection for far too long. I have given time, effort, and energy on people who have shown little respect for me. I have considered my life and experience to teach me how important close bonds are. I have had so many near death experiences I have figured out I view life and friendships and even more important, relationships as being so important in our life. I have always viewed that first thing in your life is God, and then second is those around you. With good friends and a good significant other you can actually achieve almost anything. It’s not about the quantity but the quality of the people you keep in your circle. For me, I have spent a lifetime trying to feel like I belong someplace. I have spent a lifetime feeling like an outsider, like I never fit in. To be honest I felt like young Hercules in the Disney film. The song ‘Go The Distance’ has been my theme song for many, many years. It’s kept me grounded to this world, and has kept me in perpetual agony all these years. Why couldn’t I find my place in this world? Why would everyone up and abandon me when the road got a little bumpy? I found the silence in my life to be defining, loud in my ears. The silence allowed my thoughts to be heard at a mile a minute. I couldn’t find how to silence them. The quiet turned my thoughts into a barrage of noise I couldn’t block out. The silence was a constant attack that would force me to listen to something, anything, just to drown out my own thoughts. The truth is though, it’s up for me to slow down, to focus, and pick and choose what I allow in. While I can’t say for sure if we can control our thoughts, we can control how we let them affect us.

Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” The whispers in our ear might be one of two things, the Devil’s lies and temptations, or the Holy Spirit guiding you. We often let our imagination run wild, and allow the worst thoughts to flood our minds. Those thoughts bring horrible feelings and anxiety, and with that it can bring depression, self-doubt, and a spiral downward we may not be able to stop. It’s in those moments I would implore you to focus on the moment. Proverbs 4:25 “Let your eyes look directly ahead And let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you.” Do not be fooled by the thoughts of tomorrow for you cannot control life moment to moment, only your own actions. We have two ways we can set our intentional focus. We can set them in the words of Mark 7:21 “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries,” Or we can focus on the words found in, Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Each is a choice of constant effort in perspective. Do not allow the thorn to be stuck in your side as a negative thing. Instead remember it keeps you grounded and humble in front of the Lord. Praise God for all things, the good and the bad. Praise God for the successes we have, and also the failures, which bring us to our knees. Do not be made a victim of the lies of this world, instead be a light that shines above the darkness. Use that thorn to push you, to drive you to be better, not to succumb to its effects. I am moving in a positive direction with my own struggles, and I know with time, energy, and lots of prayer, you can too. Never give up hope, and never stop trying to focus on the positive lessons we can learn.

 

How Does It Feel?

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How Does It Feel?

Have you ever been in emotional distress? Have you ever been in a position where you were anxious but maybe you didn’t know why? Emotions can be powerful, and sometimes they can be overwhelming. In the first step of managing distress, we must first change the physiological response. There are several ways we can do this, and the first step no matter what it is, or the cause, is to stop and realize what’s going on. Moving out of emotion mind and moving into wise mind using reason mind to pull us to center. If you feel so mad you’re shaking, or you get so mad you fly off the handle and throw stuff, or you yell, or punch walls, it’s a good bet you’re in pure fledged emotion mind. Often strong emotions can be destructive, so when we find ourselves in that mindset, lets take a moment to realize where we are, and step back. From every thought there is a feeling, and with every feeling there is an action. We must learn to stop between the feeling and consider what that action may be. We must be able to recognize our actions and determine what the consequence will be. James 1:19 “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:” When we take a moment to listen to the Holy Spirit in our hearts, we should feel a conviction to calm ourselves or at least recognize the flesh/sin behavior in ourselves. Assess your thought into the feeling, and once the feeling comes, take a moment to pause before that feelings becomes an action. Remember, once something is said or done there is no rewind button. The things we say, and do may have a lasting effect upon our lives. For every opportunity we have to control our actions, we have the possibility to show our witness as living in Christ.

When you feel the strong emotions inside you building, step back and find a way to temporarily lower your physical response. An ice pack below your eyes onto your cheeks can lower your response. There are many steps you can take to help lower your distress. You can do 20 minutes of extensive exorcise or physical activity. We want to make sure these things are healthy. No punching walls is not healthy, nor is punching people, pets, or any other nonsense like that. Deep breathing techniques are a favorite of mine. I often mix this with muscle relaxation. This is the process of tightening muscle groups on the inhale, and relaxing them on the exhale. This works from head to toe. There are other things we can do, such as stepping out of our stressor for a few moments and breathe. We can phone a friend to help calm down, or engage in something we know for a fact relaxes us. Disclaimer, I am not talking about substances such as drugs or alcohol. This is using your mind and body to help heal itself in distress.

These things take time and when they are put into practice and grow in skill, you will find what works better, and what doesn’t. As I mentioned breathing and muscle works well for me in the moment, but if I am feeling stressed, or anxious, if I can, I try to build a Lego set, or go for a walk, play a video game, or read. If we are honest with ourselves, we don’t have to keep our cups (of stress) full. I was told recently how PTSD is like climbing a mountain. While we may never reach the top there will be moments when we reach plateaus, but more importantly, what we choose to carry in our rucksack is entirely up to us. There will be things from our past that many of us carry with us, but if we’re being honest we don’t have to. Some things that shape you, you need with you, so some things in your pack are mandatory, but others are entirely optional. It’s taken me years to start getting to a healthy weight in my own pack, but for the first time in my life, I feel lighter then I’ve been in a long time.

We must learn the heart of Christ. In Christ we must learn that our lips, our tongues. We are ambassadors of Christ and we must be honest with ourselves and find who we are again. Managing your PTSD, anxiety, depression is an Odyssey of your own. The journey may not be a quick and easy one, but with time, effort, endurance, and patience you too will one day make it home. PTSD, or any of the other ailments people may suffer from does not define you. If anyone is like me I was always worried how people would treat me if they knew what I suffered with. I was always worried how I would be judged, and even though Jesus on more then one occasion told us not to judge one another. Even though I like to think I follow that code, others don’t. We are a judgmental people, and my flesh desire to fit in has kept me in my own pain for a long time. Once I finally admitted to myself that I was honestly the one holding myself back by forcing myself to stay trapped in my own negative judgments. This was depression, a lack of motivation, staying in the house, avoiding social events, and trying to make connections online because it was easier then facing people directly afraid of rejection. When I realized I was keeping myself stuck on the side of the mountain, my rucksack heavy, weighing me down, I was unable to pick myself up to continue on. Are we holding onto guilt, and shame, fear, and loss on our daily walk? How much pain are we holding onto? When will decide to finally let it go, and live in our moment? I know when I was on a ruck march in the military I loved the feeling of finally releasing those straps and feeling the weight of my ruck leave my shoulders. When we hold onto all those things, every day we are adding more stress, more anxiety, more troubles, and more trials to our bags. We can allow the weight to crush us, or we can drop the stuff we don’t need today, and drive on. Our mission is to keep working our way up the hill, and we must learn to pack the mission essentials, and drop everything else.

Allow yourself to feel and to live in the moment. Allow your sins to flow to God for forgiveness and don’t hold onto them anymore. Make amends for wrong doings, and then move forward. Philippians 3:13-14 “13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” There was a famous monkey one time that had great advice. “The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.” (Rafiki) The message is so plain and simple, yet one of the hardest things we may ever try to put into action. The concept of dealing with your past and not holding onto it is centuries old. Isaiah 43:18-19 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. 19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

So how do you feel? Do you feel like you’re in control over your emotions, or do they control you? Do you feel you are in control over your own weight you carry, or is crushing you? If you don’t have control fear not, you can gain control. You have the power to rise above your self. Don’t be a slave to your own mind any longer. Trust in the healing power of God, and go to God with your prayers of healing, and your gracious gratitude for the many blessings we all have. No day is without them for each morning we draw breath is a gift. Have faith in yourself to be able to overcome and push forward. Do not doubt yourself, and do not doubt the healing power of the Holy Spirit. Never quit, and never give up. Keep pushing up that hill.

 

Push Yourself

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Push Yourself

We are often pushed in our lives to do things we do, or maybe things we don’t want to do. People afraid of heights for instance, but with proper motivation you can actually achieve anything. In Christ we are told anything is possible. Life will always challenge us. We need to focus on growth and not to be the stagnant water. Look deeper and see beyond your labels. Look beyond what the average eye sees, macro photography for instance is about more then what the average eye sees, it’s about looking deeper. We are all something, and in that something we have at some point fallen into that particular label. There’s one label that is above all else the most important, Christian. In my life I’ve been many labels, son, student, employee, boyfriend, soldier, fiancé’, husband, but when all of those things were taken away what was I? When my labels crumbled like loose sand in my hands, I was left in a state of freefall. Fear of not knowing who I was, fear of not knowing who we are is a big motivator to self destruction. Fear makes people do all kinds of strange things, but we have the opportunity to dig deep, find something new, find something real, and change our tomorrow. We need to do one thing first, and that’s push yourself.

Push Yourself

I’ve never been afraid of most things other people are. Heights, water, spiders, snakes, or other things like that have never bothered me. My fears have always been strange. I had a fear when I was younger of stuff falling out of my pockets into the water. I grew out of that, but over time, one loss after another I would fear above all else abandonment. One after another the losses I faced forced me to hold on just a little tighter to the next person. I wasn’t ever jealous or controlling but I would talk often via text, or call. Since my wife left, now ex wife, I have found those whom I’ve been romantically interested in, hasn’t stuck around long. This experience that’s repeated over and over has left me doubting myself. Thus, the nature of this post. When we get to a point in our lives when we doubt ourselves we must learn to push beyond so we can grow. How do we grow if we don’t push ourselves past the limits of our own minds?

Fear can be a good thing, it can let us know when we are in real danger, but in some ways, fear is a prison within our own mind. Fear of something bad happening to you when in reality there’s very low likelihood anything will happen. I have been uncomfortable going into crowded stores ever since I returned from Iraq, but if I go with a battle buddy I’m okay. I know people who are afraid of heights, and the ocean, and spiders, and snakes, and I would surmise most fears are based on our own mortality. If you trust in God, have faith in your salvation, then are you really afraid to die? How do we push beyond our fears and end the prison we’ve remained in? When I was in South Carolina I found my battle buddies facing off with some of their biggest fears. Some guys were terrified to open up about their experiences. Some were afraid of heights, and some were afraid of rafting. Each and every man faced some fear, some big challenge and come out on the other side a different person. When we push our faith to our limits will we crack under the pressure, or rise above and grow. 2 Peter 3:18 “18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.”

Push yourself 2

We should walk with the knowledge that we may need to remove ourselves from our own heads, and focus on the tasks at hand. We can’t allow ourselves to freeze with fear, because someone’s counting on you. We have an obligation to push past the fear. “There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” (John Lennon) Do not run from that danger, run towards it. Brace yourself for it, take a big breath of air, and dive right in. Plunge into that fear and show it who’s boss. “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” (Plato) We as adults have learned to concur some fears, and yet some remain intact. When we trust in the Lord and we are able to look at life without a fear of the end because when the end comes we know where we are headed. “I’ve known fear. It’s a very healthy thing, most of the time. You warn us of danger, remind us of our limits, protect us from carelessness. I’ve learned to trust fear.” (Captain Kathryn Janeway) If we are to be completely honest with ourselves why is there fear? As I mentioned earlier, fear can be a great tool to tell us when there’s danger, limits, etc. But in the end, most things I would say are left for one thing and one thing alone, concurred. “You know as well as I do that fear only exists for one purpose: to be conquered.” (Captain Kathryn Janeway)

 Do not fall victim to your own fears. Learn to rise above and to push yourself because when you do, the sense of pride, and accomplishments will replace that fear. The day may come when you’re faced with a challenge and that challenge may bring you tremendous amounts of fear. In that time I challenge you to face your fear, dig deep and rise above. Allow the Holy Spirit to enter your heart and know that you will be carried through. We can concur anything because we’ve already concurred death through the blood of Christ. What more do we need to fear in the end when we know what awaits us past the fields of green? I know my own fear of abandonment runs deep, and I know one day I will have to face it, and I pray for strength when that day comes. I don’t want to be alone my whole life. I don’t want to fail my family in having kids to carry on the family line. I don’t want to be a failure in this life, and my battles I face aren’t in the physical world, but the battlefield in within my own heart. The battle that has been waging for many years between the Devil’s lies, and the voice of Jesus. In my heart the war wages on and some battles are won by the light, and others the dark, but as I grow in my faith, more and more battles score the win for my Savior. I’m not perfect and I have my struggles like anyone else, but it’s in those struggles I choose to never quit, never surrender, and I never, ever back down from a fight with the Devil. One loss after another, the Devil has now grown to fear me. The attacks come more frequently then they used to, but when we feel cornered we feel desperate, and the Devil’s desperate to trap me, and all of you in his snares. The Devil is loosing ground every time someone drops to their knees and prays. The Devil lashes out for every person saved, for every marriage reunited, for every forgiving heart that lets go of the wrongs from a loved one. The Devil fears the Christian heart, and thus the Devil turns that fear into rage. When we face fear with love, with hope, we can climb that tallest mountain and see the wonders of this world. Face your fears and grow beyond them. Push yourself to new limits, and watch as the things you thought you could never do now become milestones for you to break through. Fear not for the Lord is always with you. John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” Face your fears, face yourself, and you can rise to new levels. Courage is the remedy for fear. Courage in the face of fears is rising above and not allowing fear to drag you down. Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Trust in the Lord, and believe that if the day comes, the Lord will either protect you, or bring you home to paradise. Either or, the outcome is pretty nice. Isaiah 35:4 “say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.”

 

Build Faithful Wealth

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Build Faithful Wealth

The day’s stress builds and it feels crushing. The pain from yesterday seems to creep in and taunt you like a splinter you can’t see. The struggle is real, and it’s a constant battle uphill, but what if I told you, you could lighten your load? So many people are under the impression that the day you become a Christian, and the day you choose to follow the light of Christ, and trust in God that everything is nothing by clear meadows and peaceful streams. The sad reality is, when you become a Christian the struggle is just getting started. When you give your life to God the Devil will try to break you, and knock you down every single chance he gets. You’re a threat to the Devil’s plans and he wants your soul for himself. We Christians have defenses against his attacks, and together we can grow, and mature, and be ready.

We know what God says, and we know how to practice it. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 “16 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; 17so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” If we follow this instruction we may find some peace in the middle of the storm. How can we fight the Devil if we don’t know scripture? How can we mount a defense against the general of the opposing army who’s had thousands of years of practice? The Word of God is the only difference between peace, and despair. The diligence prosper, and we know this from Joshua 1:8 “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.”

The thing about having and solidifying your faith is, it takes years. It takes time to push away your flesh, and allow the Holy Spirit to take hold in your heart. I believe that in anything we have in abundance we should share with others. I firmly believe that when we are basking in the faith of Jesus Christ we not only should, but that we have an obligation to share that with others. When you have that kind of faith it’s easy to be happy in the good times, but the true test of being wealthy in the faith is when trouble comes. Peace will come when you have faith and trust in the Lord. You will believe that even in the hard times the Lord is in control, and you will allow yourself to not worry as much. The idea in our life of Christ is to live like no one else, so when God calls you home one day you can live in Heaven like no one else.

When we are graced with God’s love, we should feel those blessings in everything that surrounds us. When we receive that blessing, we should ultimately become a blessing to those around us. We should hope to help improve the lives in which we touch. It should be our goal to help enrich others lives with the word of God. In this life without faith, we often find that people live their life in fear and desperation. They go from moments of happiness to despair every time a hurdle comes into their path. Life will throw curve balls, and even chasms, but those in the faith bounce back, and manage far better then those without. Life is hard on everyone no matter what walk of life you come from. Trouble will hit everyone because it doesn’t discriminate. God has entrusted us with the Word, the Sword, so if we have the key to peace, and contentment, we should, we are commanded to follow the Great Commission. When we get good news in our life we want to share it, but the best news we could ever get is the word of God and we shy away from talking about it with others for fear of judgment, shame on us. Psalm 24:1 “The earth is the LORD’s and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein,” We are called to share the word of God, but when we sit on it, we are not good stewards of God’s word. The blessings we get from above we should be great stewards of. We should be stewards of God’s money, love, grace, and forgiveness. Instead we remain silent and don’t stand for anything. We sit on the fence and watch as the world passes us by. We pray for those who find themselves in crisis but what are we doing before the crisis hits? Are we making positive change in our communities with the word of our King? Giving love, charity, can be a humbling experience, but we as Christians don’t even tithe like we should, let alone give love abundantly. God is the greatest giver in history, and when we think about it, God gave his one and only Son to save us. His son became the sacrifice, and that sacrifice became the full outpouring of God’s wrath upon Christ. How much that must have hurt God, and yet he so loved the world of Man, he would do that. God has given us hope when we had none. He’s given us purpose, and love, and how do we repay that love? How do we give love, and charity to those we know are in need? It’s a proven fact that less selfish people will prosper more, and when we give our love freely, without expecting something in return, you will find yourself far more happy, far more content in the world.

Malachi 3:11 “I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of your soil, and your vine in the field shall not fail to bear, says the LORD of hosts.” We must have faith that God will be there for us, and in return we give our best first to the Lord. We will be blessed when we use God’s blessings to be pleasing. No matter where we find our selves, whether it’s the TSA taking something that doesn’t belong to them ie: a computer charging cable, or a loss of a job, or even a death in the family, know that God is working on it all. We must be faithful with our gifts, and faithful in our troubles. Be ready for the day the battle knocks on your door because we cannot watch from the sidelines and think we’ll never be a target. I find that the attack comes when you least expect it. I knew this time however that after a great week of soul searching, of finding myself in God’s love and grace, that the Devil would be upset and angry. I knew that the attack was coming, and sure enough, it came. In fact it came right in the middle of me writing this particular post. I was blind sided by someone, and I took a step back, I removed myself from my surroundings, I re-centered, and even though it hurt, I didn’t let it destroy my day. I can’t say much for my younger self, but to me this shows growth. I have come to see myself as more then I was. I have come to see that I am God’s faithful archer. I am God’s Al-Sahim (The Arrow).

 

 

The Weight

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The Weight

It’s heavy, the weight we carry. The fears, doubts, regrets, the pain we’ve allowed to build year after year. The crushing weight under the cross we belong to. It’s got our name on it, and it’s our responsibility. In the years I’ve been carrying my cross I’ve watched it get bigger, and bigger through the years. Sometimes it grows slowly over time, and sometimes it seems like it doubles in size. The weight we are to carry, but never are we to carry alone. Matthew 11:28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” While we are commanded to carry the cross. Luke 9:23 “23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” We are commanded to pick it up, and walk with Christ. We wear it like a badge of honor, but what happens when it gets to heavy? The weight we are never meant to keep. We are never meant to hold everything in and let it bury us. Sin adds up and if we let it, we get buried in our own suffering, an endless circle with no way out. That’s the lie the Devil would have you believe. That your sin is your death, the debt that you must carry for all of time. We are to carry it like an old friend, a friend that stays with us like our own shadow. The shadow in our mind that grows, storing the silence that echo’s in the walls of our brains. The journey however is not cold and dark as we are led to believe. The weight is not ours alone. The Devil wants us to think we have to be silent in our struggle. The Devil wants us to think we are weak if we cannot carry our cross alone. The Devil wants us to be alone, cut off from the light.

I have failed in my walk with the Lord more then once. I let the darkness build inside me. I held it like an old teddy bear. I kept it close but hid it away during the day. In the darkness of the night I would take it out and embrace it for a moment. My own self-inflicted punishment. I was weak and I knew I was. I kept it in because I was ashamed of my feelings. I was ashamed of the horrors I re-watched every night when I closed my eyes. I fell for the lie and I allowed the weight to break me down so far I was vulnerable when something big came along. I reached out and found myself rejected by those who were supposed to help. When I reached out my hand was slapped away, and I recoiled even farther into myself. I heard the whispers and they grew louder, till all I could hear was how weak I was. How I should feel low, and useless. I believed the lies of not being loved. I lost my fight against the weight I was carrying, and laying on the ground, crushed by it, I watched as everything I worked for in my life was ripped violently away from me. In my darkest, deepest hour of sorrow, the truth rose up and brighter then the sun, the Devil, the lies, the evil that surrounded me was forced to retreat back to the shadows. The hand of Jesus picked me up and hugged me close. The truth was made clear, and a revelation of what it means to be washed in the light of the Lord was unmistakable. Silence was a cancer that grew, but the light of the universe, our Lord and savior is the answer to the disease. And the people tied him to a tree, and murdered him. His blood was spilt, and we laughed and cast lots. We were given a choice, a criminal, or Jesus. In our ignorance, our hatred, our anger, we poured our sin into an innocent man. A man who would spread his arm to those who caused him to suffer a death worse then any could imagine. He spread his arms not in returned hate, but in forgiveness and love. He was not silent in his final moments. He spread his arms, he absolved us of our sins, by asking the Father to forgive us, for we do not know what we do. Our father, a gracious, loving father split the veil, and we were not doomed to suffer the crushing weight of sin any longer.

In Numbers 11:11-15 Moses cries to the Lord about the burdens he is carrying. The people are hungry, and are calling for him to bring an end to their suffering. He feels the weight of this burden and he feels he cannot bare it alone. He cries to the heavens asking God to either answer his prayers or to end his life. In verse 16 the Lord tells him to bring forth the elders that they may help him bare the burdens of the flock. I say to you, when you find yourself in need, turn to the Lord and he will answer your prayers and give you someone to lean on. Jesus would fall, weak, and carrying his cross he would fall. Matthew 27:32 “As they went out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name. They compelled this man to carry his cross.” There’s no shame asking for help. There’s no shame admitting the day’s been a little to strong, the weight to heavy, the problems too big. I say we must find the strength inside to put down our pride, and go to the Lord in prayer. The Lord will give you someone to help you carry your burden.

Lean On Me By, Bill Withers

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there’s always tomorrow

 Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on

 Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won’t let show

 You just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’ll understand
We all need somebody to lean on

 Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on

 You just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’ll understand
We all need somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can’t carry
I’m right up the road
I’ll share your load

 

I know it seems like you might be alone in your life, but that’s not true. That’s the lie, and the Devil won’t stop telling it to you. Don’t listen to the darkness. When the darkness knocks at your door, turn away back to the light. Lift your head, your arms, and welcome the light into your heart. Let the Holy Spirit wash over you, removing the past sins. Don’t allow the silence to grow like a cancer inside you. Silence kills, it takes so many lives each and every day. The darkness will always creep just outside the walls, but when we keep the light of Jesus burning in our hearts and minds, the darkness cannot remain in the presence of light. Sing praises to the Lord of all and the praises of joy, of love will cancel out the silence and the whispers of the Devil will fall short to the music of Love. Hope, love, and praise will win over silence, pain, and despair. Fear, doubt, disbelief, let it all go. It’s time to drop your sins at the foot of the cross and lighten your load. Place your hope in Jesus and thank God yesterday’s gone. All your sins are forgiven, so carry them no more.

Our Time

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Our Time

When the morning sun rises over the horizon and you see the first rays of light, you don’t often question if it’ll be your last. We live by the minutes we have, but we rarely put thought into the actual thought of living. When you look at the sunrise and think how beautiful it is, or how you see the person you love, we don’t wonder if it’s the last time. There was a day so many years ago now, which brought all these questions to mind. As time has moved passed I often forget how quickly that life can be. In just a fleeting moment the world as we know it can be rocked by change, and how we are forever changed. As we wake this morning and we go about our day, for me today is a reminder to be vigilant in my thoughts. We suffer so much pain, and we suffer so much loss, but when we forget to live, that’s the true tragedy. How do we honor the dead? We honor the dead by fighting. We honor the dead by living, and to do so with thought. We cannot just wake up every day and exist, that we must truly live our lives. The day will come when we are called home, but if that day is not today, we must live life with zest. We must open our eyes every morning, and be grateful to the one who gives life. We live this life and this is our time, but it’ll never come again.

When the days are numbered, how can we say we lived our life? Will we count our days by missed opportunities? Will we count them by the number of lives we touched? Will we count them by the number of lives we destroyed? No matter the form of measurement in your life, be sure to live your life for the moment. Be sure that in that moment, the fleeting moments we are here, make a difference. Live a life that is full of love and a life that is pleasing to God. Be a beacon of hope in a world full of darkness. Live your life in the light so others can see. We only get one shot at life, and we never know when the day our ticket gets punched, so live every day with the heart for God. Live every day loving your friends, loving your family. Live every day with the thought, tomorrow may not come. Don’t live out your days thinking ‘I thought I’d have more time.’ Today is the day you have, and tomorrow isn’t promised.

John 10:7-15 “7 So Jesus again said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. 8 All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9 I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.”

We are the lost sheep living this life, and a shepherd came to give us hope. In that hope we now live, no longer in the darkness, but the light of the world. Although we live dust to dust, we are more then the sum of our flesh. We have the living waters that flow over our hearts when we open them to the Lord. Genesis 3:19 “By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” No longer are we here to live and die, but instead we are here to live and live. We live this life so one day we can live in eternal life. Ecclesiastes 3:20-21 “All go to one place. All are from the dust, and to dust all return. 21 Who knows whether the spirit of man goes upward and the spirit of the beast goes down into the earth?” We are given the choice of how we want to live, and in that choice so shall we be judged.

Today as I remember the dead, I recall the valley, which I gazed upon. I saw the face of evil and I will forever remember the horror, which lives in the hearts of man. The ability to take life, to extinguish a child of God, with no remorse or conscious, is truly a terrifying place. To witness such evils, reminds us that though Christ died to break the bonds of death, we still fight for the souls of the living. Not all who live shall live, and all the while not all that die shall die. If you are to live, live for love, live for Christ, and in Christ love all. Love all who live and pray for those whom you love, but in turn, pray for those whom wish to do hate. As it is said, love the sinner, and hate the sin. Today which is a day to remember, I pray for the souls of those who sought to do harm, and I pray with forgiveness in my heart, yet a prayer of God’s righteous vengeance. For it is not my place to judge the living, nor is it my place to judge the dead, but to love and pray for both. Romans 12:19 “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” I place my belief upon the Lord, and I pray for those who have trespassed against me, and I pray for my own heart that it be healed in my time of pain. I pray that I shall find peace in the knowledge that vengeance is not of my own hand, but in the hand of the Lord. I pray that we in this life find justice, not vengeance. Deuteronomy 32:35 “To me belongeth vengeance, and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.” Justice is restoring balance, and I trust in the Lord, which holds eternal balance in his righteous hands.