The Fear He Can Smell

The Fear He Can Smell

The lion that stalks you in the darkest hours of the night. The storm that springs up from nowhere and tosses you around the sea. But how do you feel when life explodes all around you? The scent that emanates from the deepest parts of your heart when despair is all you know. The snake that slithers around, waiting and watching patiently for that scent to be strong. The Devil, much like the ParaDeomons from Justice League can smell fear. “Fear, they can smell it!” (Justice League) If we are to fight this spiritual war, we must first acknowledge something important, we must face our deepest fears. “You have to let it all go, Neo. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind.” (Morpheus, Matrix) We cannot allow our fears, or our doubts to cloud the truth of Jesus Christ. So many people want concrete proof with their own eyes to believe in a higher power. We can’t give in to our own fears and doubts. We must find our courage to stand tall, and continue to carry on.

“The purpose is to experience fear. Fear in the face of certain death. To accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself and one’s crew. This is a quality expected in every Starfleet captain.” (Spock, Star Trek, 09) We will experience fear in our life. There are things we won’t be prepared to face, but the catch is we can turn to God for strength. God will never leave us to make it through on our own. Every day in our life is a test of some kind, and if we are to be the best Christians we can be, we have to learn how to face our fears, and to control them, not let them control us.

I can remember a few times when I was in Iraq I was scared. I remember the fear that would sweep over my body, and the question if I’d make it out alive or not would always creep into my mind. While my training allowed me to stay focused on the task at hand, I always reminded myself that if it was my time, God would take me home, and there wasn’t anything I could do about that. I became comfortable in the knowledge I may not make it home. When you get to the point where you’re comfortable with the idea of death, far less things will make you afraid. In my life today I find I am more fearless when it comes to myself, but when it comes to others fear still makes an appearance. I find now my biggest fears are that of abandonment, a fear of walking this journey alone without a companion. I think for me, this has been my weakness that the Devil has picked up on, and now uses as often as he can. My fear of being alone seems to be something I just haven’t been able to shake. As I watch friends get married, engaged, or have children, I now find myself longing for those things. My life hit a snag and the reset button was hit. Now I am starting over again, and the fear of tomorrows fate scares me. I know through my life as I’ve watched one love after another move on without me, now I’m left fearful of my fate. I do not desire to be alone, and my fear is that I have somehow deserved this fate. I know that my fear is strong in this area of my life. That fear trickles to other parts in my life. The lies whispered to me from the Devil playing on my insecurities my own self worth. I have always questioned my looks, my personality, and wondered why I’ve been alone so often. I have wondered why so many have left me, and while I realize I’m not perfect, I’m not in control of others and their own moral compass. My fears have plagued me for many years, and if I’m ever going to be happy with myself, and if I’m going to find that happiness while on my own, I must acknowledge my fears, and then learn to face them.

We all have fears, but the catch of living this life following Christ is not allowing that fear to dictate our actions. We must walk by faith, not sight. We must trust in the one who gives us our strength, our courage, and trust in the Lord and lean not unto our own understanding. We must believe that the turbulent waters are just temporary, and just around the river bend the calm straight is waiting for us. Do not fall for the lies the Devil will feed us. Fear is a liar, one designed to rob you from your happiness. I’m not talking about the fear that keeps you alive in the face of danger; I’m talking about the fear of moving forward. Trust in the Lord and believe that your salvation is the most important thing, and the rest, if part of the plan, and faithfulness will fall into place. We often want what we want, and if we live in the past, we are telling God you don’t trust him. You’re telling God you’re going to do it your way, and his timing isn’t good for you. Stop letting fear rule your emotions and your actions. Face your fears and come out on top. You are in control, not fear. God is with you always, and for that, there is nothing to fear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Light or Dark

Light or Dark

The darkest night covers me and I need you

The sun fuels my heart and gives me warmth and strength. I need you then too.

Because of you I’m alive.

No matter where I am, or the season I’m in, my Lord I need you.

Who am I without you, I am no one.

The Lord of all knows my name.

 

The Lord who created in love not because of what I do, just because I am. I am a sinful man, but love saved me. Never because of what I’ve done, just because of what you are. No matter my of praise, or my day of prayer your grace comforts me. Today the flowers bloom, and tomorrow the ice shall come, but in all my day, and in all my ways I am yours. Because you are with me I shall not fear the night. The night was so dark without you, but your glory so bright the single ray of light when the sun peaks the horizon, the darkness breaks. Jesus Christ the pure light that would forever push the darkness away rose.

What do I have to offer the king of the universe, my heart, my everything, and yet I will never be worthy of the gift bestowed upon me. I can surrender all and even up to my life it would never cover the debt. But it is grace, and love my bill was covered by Christ. I was so loved before I was born that for me my sins and the sins of billions of others, a blood debt freely given, ransomed for my freedom of death. If my debt was paid when I’m knocked down, who then do I fight for? Christ got back up and his strength became my strength. I will get back up and continue to fight till my dying breath. I owe it to Christ to never give up and never surrender to the darkness.

God’s word has withstood the test of time, and even now as we can see the darkness covering the land, we will watch, as God’s will, will be done. Those who criticize the word and those who push to remove God’s presence from the public will one day stand in judgment. The light of the word may be pushed away but in time the raging tide will again be tamed by the Lord. God’s word will stand firm, and the darkness will be pushed back, snuffed out by the light. No matter how far we fall it’s never to late to change our course. We cannot stop praying, or hoping for God to save us. We cannot stop worshiping the Lord no matter if things are great, or if everything has been blown to a million pieces. Yesterday is gone and we don’t live there anymore. We must learn to say goodbye to the past, and live in today. The heart may have been broken yesterday, but every day we breath is a new day of growing, a new day of healing. We must tell ourselves every day that Jesus is still with us, and in his love we are healed. You cannot expect to have an answer for every tragedy that happens, and in our walk we must learn to focus on Jesus. This world is not the end, and one day the end will come on this life and the walls that kept us confined will be no more. This is not where we belong forever, and we can count on the promise made by Jesus to one day sit before the King and be accepted into the light. This life is but a fleeting speck of dust in the wind, and if we want to go home, know that this world will one day wash away.

Praise the Lord for success, and praise the Lord in failure. In every chance we get, both good and bad, fix your eyes on the one and only thing that will satisfy your heart and that’s Jesus. Life can be hard, and we are told to expect the trials that come, and the persecutions that come with following Christ, but “If you can take it, you can make it.” (Unbroken) I am a broken man, and I fail every day to live up to what God expects of me. I know I fail, and I know I fall, but I know that because of grace, and I know what true love means, I still stand here knowing God is with me. I know I have the power of the Holy Spirit with me and I’m called to be more. I’m called to push myself, and to stand toe to toe with the darkness. Every day I stand and pray to protect me from the attacks. Every day I praise my God for the blessings I have. I know I am protected and I know that for Jesus saves my soul every day. I know that every day I wake hope is here. Every day I see the hope all around me, and I know that it’ll be all right. I’ve experienced the darkness, and I’ve seen the light. I’ve felt the cold, but the warmth always triumphs. In every tear that falls God holds them. In every heart that breaks God feels our pain, and yet healing begins with Christ.

Light or dark, we decide where to stand. We can choose to stay in the darkness avoiding the light if we wish, but when it gets cold, or the demons come to creep, know the light will always accept you. You can choose to live in fear of the unknown, or you can choose to trust in Jesus and know that there is a brighter future waiting for you. You can choose to walk in the darkness, but no matter where you choose to walk, Jesus Christ is always there with you. If you choose to walk in the darkness, you have to expect to stub your toe on the furniture. Who then will you blame, God for not removing the obstacle, or yourself for not turning on the light? We as people will always learn more from hardships then a life of ease and calm rivers. If you are to be truly tested we must first be pushed to the limits to know what we are truly capable of. It’s in these times we need to turn to Christ more then ever, because we do not truly grow otherwise. We often pray for things we think are good for us, but we only see two feet ahead, but God sees a mile. We are but children clamoring around the house trying to place our finger in a light socket. God tries to warn us what not to do, but we are a stubborn people, and if we truly wish for a smoother ride we must learn to trust in the Lord and stop being so resistant to what we are told. God’s grace and love is unyielding, but our acceptance of it into our hearts is purely voluntary. Jesus loves you more then you know, and we should praise the Lord in all things, each and every day. Because our savior lives we must pray. We overcome by the power of His blood, and we are alive because he lives. Prayer is the absolute least we can do, and for the gift of life, shouldn’t we do at least that? We would be dead without Christ. Sin and shame would be all we are without the blood, and we’re alive because He lives. The light that would forever be the voice over the shadow, my life was and is held in His hands. So I pray to you Lord, thank you for my life, thank you for my pain, thank you for your love, and thank you for your gracious sacrifice for me. In your Holy Name, Amen.

When Pride Kills

When Pride Kills

How do we treat those in our relationships? Do we take constructive criticism well? How about when we’ve actually done something wrong, do we attack those who are just trying to talk about a problem? When we are so prideful we are unable to hear or acknowledge that we might be doing something wrong or hurtful to someone we care about is not just a problem in relationships, but work, and other relationships we may encounter. Pride can be the downfall in many relationships, and effects virtually every aspect of our life. Pride can be a beautiful thing, and in the right amount it can give a sense of accomplishment when we achieve something wonderful. James 4:10 “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” In everything we achieve it’s not us, but through and by the grace of God. We are nothing without the Lord. Nothing happens without the Lord allowing it to happen.

1 John 2:16 – For all that [is] in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. “The heart of pride is focused on “self.” Prideful people believe they deserve better than what life has brought them. They become sorrowful, resentful, and even jealous of other people and their successes. Pride breeds self pity, which is a major component in depression. Typically, people who struggle with pride will live life based on how they feel and expect everyone else to accommodate them and adapt to their moods.” The Bible is full of examples of how men have fallen to their own selfish pride. “But when [Nebuchadnezzar’s] heart became arrogant and hardened with pride, he was deposed from his royal throne and stripped of his glory. He was driven away from people and given the mind of an animal; he lived with the wild donkeys and ate grass like cattle; and his body was drenched with the dew of heaven, until he acknowledged that the Most High God is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and sets over them anyone he wishes.” Daniel 5:20-21 (NIV) Pride is at the heart, a heart problem. Something most likely happened to wound you early in life, and now you feel life owes you one. You’re over compensating for your feelings of inadequacy. You lash out at those around you who try to help you, if it doesn’t conform to what you want to hear. When people point out things you may have done to hurt them, with actual events, you will blame everything else instead of just owning up to it and trying to make it right. Pride’s very existence when being used to guard ones self is the shield to prevent helpful, and respectful conversation from happening in a relationship. Pride, vanity, selfishness, are all very real, and when looked at in depth, the result of something usually happening during the ages of 8-16 years old. While pride can destroy new relationships or old relationships, it can be combated.

The first step of releasing your pride is first realize that you are truly nothing without God. We must humble ourselves to the Lord. We must learn to be slow to speak and swift to listen. We must learn that love is about hearing the truth sometimes and accepting that it’s coming from a place in the heart, not to tear down, but to try and lift up. Truth, and I mean truth, not opinion, but the cold hard facts, are there and when they support a conclusion, should be considered with open ears, and a slow tongue. In our lives we can make or break relationships by one tiny little thing that can do so much damage in an instant, the human tongue. People say things in the heat of anger, in the moment of pride fullness, and it can do more harm then most can fathom. We all find ourselves on the defensive when a loved one says something about our personality. The truth is, we have become a very sensitive people. We no longer wish to better ourselves, we believe that we are perfect just the way we are. We don’t want to hear the truth anymore, and we’re willing to live in a world where it’s all about us, and we put little thought into how our actions affect others. We have lost the compassion in our hearts. People are living in a world where it’s better to walk away from a friendship then to admit you may have been wrong.

It truly is a sad time we live in when friendships mean so little that people are willing to walk away instead of having a conversation. People will walk away from friendships, relationships, and marriages, all because of pride. When we can’t admit we may be the problem, we can’t admit our faults, we can’t face our own mistakes, we tend to run away because it’s easier then having to deal with the wrongs, or even the pain we’ve caused. We need to let go of our self and find God in our hearts. God can heal the wounded, repair the damage done to the heart, and allow forgiveness, and joy to return. Don’t let pride destroy your home, or your friendships. Don’t let your own inability to admit your faults, your shortcomings, stop you from having heartfelt conversations meant to build, not to tear down. Grown in the military was to tear down to rebuild. You must allow your defenses to be lowered and then you can start working on facing the issues at hand. There’s nothing wrong with showing a little pride in moderation. There’s nothing wrong with a little competition and being proud of winning. There’s nothing wrong with showing pride in your kids, or spouse for something they accomplished. Don’t let your pride get to your head. Stay grounded and stay humble on God’s word. The Lord Giveth, and the Lord can Taketh away. Remember people are not usually out to get you. Just because they make something you’ve done a point of conversation doesn’t mean they hate you and doesn’t mean they are attacking you. I generally want to believe the best in people, and when they care about you, they are just trying to make a bad situation better. I don’t think people always intend to hurt others, and in a relationship communication must be free from worry and concern to be healthy. Don’t give up on each other, and don’t loose hope, the Holy Spirit is forever with you.

Pride can both be horrible and left to grow it can grow out of control. Pride can destroy relationships if one cannot move beyond their own ways. Pride can be a great strength and a great weakness. There is a healthy balance, and we must learn to find that balance. We do not want to allow pride to tear apart families, or damage work relationships, and most importantly we don’t want pride to damage our relationship with God. Let go of self, and look to what you say, and how you say it to the people in your life. Be humble and remember that God allows all things and is sovereign. It’s okay to feel pride, just make sure it stays in check. Pride of winning a game, or accomplishing something wonderful, either is okay, but keep it in check. Remember God gives, and takes away. Don’t let pride be what tears you down or stops you from reaching the top.

 

(n.d.). Retrieved March 27, 2018, from http://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/2014/03/05/the-prideful-heart/

Duality

Duality
When something is liked and disliked at the same time, loved and hated, and okay and not okay at the same time.

When you wait all day for an absolution that would never come, when you look for peace that never seems to come. Waiting for God to send His Angels to pull you out of the wreckage of your life. When the Angels never come, but that voice inside your head tells you God’s with you. The snakes are nipping at your heals and you keep climbing higher and higher to get away, the beautiful escape. We never plan for the world to crumble, and we never plan on falling to our knees at the brink of a broken world, screaming to the heavens to save us. You’ve been a good soldier, a faithful man and in that moment the snakes, the vultures are tossed away. Saved by God, moved from broken to mending.

The faith it takes to overcome the world is Jesus. So why do I hate myself so much? Why do I feel so low about whom I am? The going gets rough and some hate God, some hate people, some hate themselves. That’s where my own duality comes into play. I both love and hate who I am. The fact that God loves me I know I’m special. I know I’m someone worthwhile, but I’ve largely not been treated well by others throughout my whole life. I’ve not been beaten and tortured, I’ve suffered loss, and blame. God thought tells us that we cannot put our faith in mankind because man is sinful and that sinful nature will let you down, will hurt you, and the Devil through Sin will find any little chink in the human armor and infiltrate like a virus, replicating, until sinful desire is all that’s left.

The same goes with the little whispers inside my own head. The negative whispers I hear are the Devil or his minions telling me lies, that hidden war going on all around us that we cannot see. The truth is the helmet is supposed to help, and it does so long as we keep our head in the Bible and don’t let ourselves get distracted by the world.

Don’t shut God out; don’t keep the gates closed from God. God doesn’t want us to be alone, God wants us to have someone, God wants us to know that He is always with us. God’s blessings and guidance, and the army of Angels are always by our side. When we finally realize this, when we finally tear down the walls we will realize that Love has been there all along. The season of love is always. We can’t let the trials of this world build walls and defenses. Love concurs all. Love is the strongest of emotions, strongest of actions, and that Love shows me that there is no Winter of love, no Fall of love, there’s just love. We will suffer heartbreak from love, but Love is a gift from up above, and that’s the only Love that really matters.

Take the duality inside and shatter that mirror and let God take up both sides in your heart.