Tag: christianity

The silence of the …..

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

The silence of the …..

I’ve been thinking about my life and how I’ve gotten form A to B to C over these years. I remember when I was in 5th grade there was a lovely girl I was completely smitten with. The crush had lasted longer then just 5th grade but that’s when the feelings grew stronger. The feelings were more of a detriment then a blessing, in fact, they weren’t a blessing at all. Late in the year someone found out about those feelings and as things went pre internet, the whole grade knew before the end of recess, and the teasing began. It wasn’t because of her though, she was beautiful and popular, and every guy liked her. No, sadly the teasing was because of me, who I was. The teasing came because I wasn’t popular, I wasn’t handsome, I was nerdy, and I didn’t fit in very well. The teasing continued the rest of the year, never relenting. I even fell for the cruel joke that she wanted me to kiss her on the playground. They talked me into it, and needless to say it didn’t go well.

Over the next few years in school I met another women, and she was different. Not so different that I actually stood a chance, but sadly by the middle of 7th grade I would accidently let slip the woman who held my affection, and once again I became the laughing stock on the grade. I couldn’t catch a break. I was tortured for 3 years straight because I was different, because it was funny that I would like someone I stood no chance with, and when she was told, it brought her nothing but embarrassment. Of course though, who wouldn’t be? I wasn’t special in anyway, I wasn’t cool, I was more of an annoyance to those around me. Kids would hit me when I wasn’t looking, toss me around, push me and shove me into lockers and into people. I even experienced a swirly in my 7th grade year. That was the epitome of becoming the laughing stock of the school. The stares from kids of all grades, the whispers as I passed by, the chuckles and laughter reminded me daily of the shame I felt stepping foot in that school, or even out of my house. To say I became self conscious would be an understatement, I became horrified to be seen out and about, and I could barely look at myself in the mirror. I believed I was an ugly person, I believed no one would ever love me, I believed I would be alone forever, not a simple belief, no, a belief that would make it’s home deep down in my heart, the place the deep most powerful feelings reside.

Over the years things would improve but only just slightly. When I would finally move away I’d find a new home, a new school, and new chances. Although it never would end well for me, I continued to try and continued to try and put myself out there. Success wouldn’t be measured all that well, and fast forwarding 15 years, I’d say my luck hasn’t improved at all. Although what few friends I have left constantly tell me to be patient, and they are always telling me when someone walks away from me, or blows me off it’s their loss. As I recently stated before I can’t stand that saying.

Knowing what we feel inside, and fighting that feeling we hold deep inside is never easy. All we can do is know that we are children of the King, and what matters most is what God thinks of us. Even though we cannot see or feel or touch God, and we may want the affections of another person more then anything in this world, we can only close our eyes, silent our mind and pray. Quieting our mind is difficult. It takes practice, and it takes training. Matthew 6:6 “But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” A truth is found in Psalm 1 “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. 2 But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. 3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. 4 The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. 5 Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. 6 For the Lord knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.” It’s hard, but you have to remind yourself that the truth is not what others thing, or what you think, it’s what God the Almighty thinks of you. It’s a wonderful thing when we can let go of the pain in your heart. It’s special when you can feel the weight lifting off your shoulders. Even though I’m not there yet, I hope one day, I may be. I hope one day the demons that haunt me can finally be wiped away. The day may come, but sadly, the strength to do so escapes me today. Remember to always try and silence the negative feelings, try and put them away and look towards the sky and see the wonder of the stars, and remember that as infinite as the stars are, so are the possibilities. Just pray and pray, and work towards a brighter future.

 

Don’t Short Change Yourself

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Don’t Short Change Yourself

It’s not uncommon for someone recovering from an affair, or even after a long relationship to second-guess yourself. It’s easy to blame yourself, and feel at fault for the relationship falling apart. It’s easy to look back at your relationship and pick out everything you did wrong. It’s too easy to only focus on what you did wrong because they left you. One of the things that I’ve heard a lot lately is “it’s their loss.” I’m not sure I truly understand that. It seems to me if they felt they were loosing anything they wouldn’t have left. Even when time has gone by and they still haven’t come home, they obviously don’t feel they’ve lost anything. When time passes by and you don’t have anyone talking to you, no one shows interest, and you haven’t managed to score a date in all that time, yes, the simple truth is, it’s easy to fall into despair.

When you read through the life of David here’s a man that struggled with depression for most of his life. He fought years of depression and struggled with the regrets, the losses, the battles. David made some horrible mistakes, but also achieved a great amount. David was considered to be a man after God’s own heart. The choices we make define us. When we look into the fractured mirror and we no longer recognize who we are, it’s a miracle we need. We need to be able to wipe the slate clean and start fresh. What we need is Jesus. God wants for who we are in his eyes to be who we are. We can always turn our life around. We can always make the choice to turn back away from the self we don’t know for the self washed in the light of the Lord. Our new body, our new soul starts with allowing the worst parts of us to burn away in the flames of trials. God wants us with our scars, our shortcomings and our broken hearts. God knows we can be used no matter what our past may be. While this world races by sometimes far to fast, it’s clear that we are meant to be wherever we are, and all God wants is for us to see Him, to know Him, to cry out to Him, and above all trust in Him.

We may not always see it, we may not see our own self worth because perhaps we allowed someone’s acceptance of us to dictate our worth. Perhaps our jobs defined us, our status, or any other worldly viewpoint. We can’t change what the future may hold, but all we can do is define who we are by who we want to be. We are the masters of our own fate, by being a person that God would be pleased with. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;” No matter the pain we suffering through it all we choose how we treat others. We may struggle, but if we hurt those around us, blame everyone else, we are no better then those who persecute us.

Psalm 34:17-20 “When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.” We must always remain faithful in our belief that God is with us. It’s in that belief that we can stand firm in the winds of change, stand firm when the ground breaks apart beneath our feet and still not fall. When we seek the Lord for answers, when we seek help, we can find it in Psalm 23 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

DSC_6707 copy

 While life can take it’s toll and it can land many solid punches, it’s up to us to hold ourselves up with as much dignity as we can muster. It’s easy to let the Devil win and feel badly about ourselves. Self pity is easy to get into but we can face the beast and come up head held high. Simply put, don’t short change yourself, keep your head high and know that you’re on the winning side. Keep your faith strong, and remember that God is with you always.

Love Always, Always Love

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Love Always, Always Love

Where’s your salvation? Christ is our light, our rock, our only path. I’m a sinner, I’m a failure, I’m a success, I’m a lover. I’m occasionally a hypocrite, but as I fall short of the grace of God I know that my path will lead me to Christ because I know I need Christ, my only way to eternal love and grace. I am sometimes wayward, I am sometimes broken, but as promised God has never left me. When your lost and you see the world crumble around you come back to Christ, he will protect you. Believe in Christ with all you are, all your heart, and the Gates of heaven will be open for you when it’s your time. Never stop living for Christ. Never stop loving, never stop forgiving and never stop reading the word. Don’t put God in a box. Don’t expect grace if we don’t give grace. Don’t expect love if we don’t love. We must love God, we must glorify God, we must live like Christ would. Have the faith to follow, have the faith to jump off that cliff, have faith to take that leap. Follow, and don’t let fear keep you standing still. God chooses those who need the push. Let God work through you. We are nothing without Christ in our lives. Love like Christ loved us to give his life. Live like Christ lived to create our eternal home in perfection. Forgive others like Christ forgave us for the unspeakable acts we committed. Have compassion like Christ had compassion on those who tortured him, and the thief who hung from the cross next to him. It’s never too late to turn around from the path you’re on. It’s never too late to try and fix a mistake made. It’s never too late to apologize for those you’ve hurt, those you’ve let down. And always learn to forgive yourself.

 

Tick Tock

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Tick Tock

 Abraham waited for years for the son he never thought would come. He even disobeyed God and took his handmaiden and she bore him a child. God was angry at this because that wasn’t the plan, that wasn’t what Abraham was told to do. Job lived for years watching his entire life fall apart around him. He remained faithful and in his Faith he was justly rewarded. We can sit back and watch as time continues to move and as much as it may hurt, or bother us, time moves even if we don’t have the answers we may need or want. We are very impatient most of the time. The sad truth is, we don’t have a say when things work out or why. Things happen the way God wants them to, and all we can do is continue to show faith and effort.

Luke 1:37 “For with God nothing shall be impossible.”

Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

 It’s never easy to take a step back and realize how powerless we may be. Regardless of what we want, we can only have faith. No matter what situation we may find ourselves we can’t let the Devil get between God and us. We have to keep the faith because the consequences are much worse for denying God, then to face the world.

The clock ticks across time but we never know when that clock will stop. We never know when our clock may stop. Keep the faith in any season. We must always remember that the line of fate might be cut at any moment, and we don’t want to be caught unawares.

Colors of the Wind

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Colors of the Wind

Colors of the wind

You think the only people who are people

Are the people who look and think like you

But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger

You’ll learn things you never knew, you never knew

 

 The world turns 365 days. Throughout that time there are generally 4 seasons most will experience that time. Spring, the rebirth of nature, the trees, and plants start to bloom and sprout. The grass starts to grow again and becomes full and lush. Summer the hot season where the full experience of the new weather rings out with beautiful days, strong storms, and beautiful nights. The Fall is the beginning of the deaths cycle for the plants. Leaves turn colors and begin to fall. The weather cools, and the brisk nights and mornings start. Pumpkins grow and start getting ready for the holiday season. The winter comes, and the cold darkness of the night takes over. The days are short and the world seems darker. Neither season lasts forever and as long as some seasons may feel, at some point it is bound to end.

It’s said you can never step foot into the same river twice. Every day is a change for something new. Every day is a possible change, a chance to paint a new picture, a chance to get back up and fight the good fight again and again. 2 Pater 1:13-15 “13 I think it right, as long as I am in this body,[b] to stir you up by way of reminder, 14 since I know that the putting off of my body will be soon, as our Lord Jesus Christ made clear to me. 15 And I will make every effort so that after my departure you may be able at any time to recall these things.” We as Christians must always remember that as long as we wake up in the morning and we’re still breathing the end has not come and therefore a chance for change. “To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible then to be alive without breathing.” (Martin Luther)

When our seasons change how do we manage? Do we manage with grace and dignity? Do we allow the stress to be to much till the point of breaking where we escape using drugs or alcohol? Or do we wake up every day, look life dead in the eye and say “Not today, not today!” Satan wants us to fail, he wants us to give up when life gets hard. There’s nothing wrong with a little grumbling, there’s nothing wrong with venting and getting things off your chest, but make sure you are not allowing that to be your calling card. As difficult as it is no matter what season you find yourself, you must be able to see the positive things in your life. You’ve got to find the silver lining.

 

 

 

 

 

Survive To Thrive

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Survive To Thrive

In any life I’ve lived my life surviving one pitfall after another. I’ve faced death more then most and yet no matter the bitterness of the icy cold truth, I struggle as of late to see the bright future that waits. When I look back I have not seen long periods of peace in the war. The tragedies that have befallen my life have come like the rain, one drop after another. The storm rages on and I fear that tomorrow may not be as bright as I once hopped. The forces that surround me threaten to drag me down into the darkest depths. While these many days I’ve suffered many setbacks, I now am forced to retreat and regroup trying to decipher the new road being laid in front of me. I cannot see the path for it is dark and full of haze. The path before me seems as dark and treacherous as I fear. For every course I have peered, the thistles and thorns have covered it before my very eyes. Now, a new direction is needed, but it seems my compass is broken.

DSC_6682

The day rises and the fight begins again. By day the phone calls start, and the messages are left. No answers by time the sun sets, just more time waiting, wondering what my future holds. As my past has been a constant fight to stay afloat, it seems now, truly for the first time, I no longer know where to go, or what to do.

DSC_6695

What do we do when we know not what the future holds? Who do we turn to for help, for guidance, our guide through the darkness? The only thing we can do is breath, and trust, have faith in the Lord. On this day I feel much like doubting Thomas, or little faith Peter. Matthew 14:31 “And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?” When Peter stepped from the boat he was trusting, but when things began to look bad, he lost his faith and fell into the waters. Thomas doubted the risen Christ and demanded to stick a finger into his side where the spear had pierced the side of Christ.

It’s not easy to have faith when the stage is set and it’s full of darkness. It’s not easy to stay focused on the now when you cannot seem to escape. We must learn to have faith no matter the situation we find ourselves. Not an easy feat, but an important one never the less. James 1:6 “But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.” Some days all we can do is to take a deep breath and pray. We may not get the answers we need when we want them, but all we can do is have faith in God’s plan for us. We must have faith because the alternative isn’t pretty. Prepare for the fight ahead, but hope for the best.

We can hope that our reward for faithfulness is to make it through the wilderness and find ourselves being blessed. We don’t know how long it will take, but we know that the path is littered with turmoil and pain. The end can either be full of pain, or it can be full of cheer, it is up to us where we put our faith. While this doesn’t tell me where to go or which direction to take, I will pray about it, and hope that I hear back from the big guy upstairs.

DSC_6695

While I had been reflecting about my past, present, and looking to the future, I realized it had been a little while since I’d talked with one of my best and oldest friends. Upon realizing she was gone, Facebook was gone, among others. No warning, no phone call, no goodbye, just gone. I don’t know what lesson I’m supposed to learn, what I’m supposed to do, but in the last year I’ve lost all my close friends, I’ve lost my job, I’ve lost my health, I haven’t achieved any wins, and I haven’t been able to improve my situation. I just can’t seem to catch a break. I pray this season changes soon, because I honestly don’t know how much more loss I can take.

 

 

Can you hear with that hood?

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Can you hear with that hood?

Life can be loud at times, and when the storms raging on it’s sometimes hard to hear the voice of God speaking to us. As I roam around the house especially in the fall and winter, I’m usually wearing a hoodie. Not much different then wearing the green hood, I like the way it feels, and I like wearing the hood. Not much different then my love of capes and cloaks, but it would look weird wearing a cape and a hood at the same time. Except for Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne’s son. The point is, when I wear the cape, I loose just a slight amount of hearing capability. It’s so important to keep your ear to the ground and focus on the signs given to us by God. Abba (Father) gives us signs every day. He will talk to us it’s just a matter if we’re listening, if we’re paying attention.

When we’re living life it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the world. Psalms 25:4-5 “Shew me thy ways, O LORD; teach me thy paths. Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou [art] the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.” We must remain faithful even when we cannot see tomorrow. Quiet the noise and listen to the voice meant to guide you.

Praise you in this storm By; Casting Crowns

I was sure by now, God you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away,
Stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
That it’s still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear your whisper through the rain
I’m with you
And as your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
The God who gives and takes away

And I’ll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
That you are who you are
No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm

IMG_3762

Every day you should find a quiet place where you can reflect and listen to the voice inside you. Pray to God and ask for your troubles to go however fit to the Lord. Praise your Father on high and trust in the storm you will make it through. Take off the hood, step away from the noise, the struggles of the world for just a moment, and listen. Learn to quiet your mind and find the faith to carry on.

 

It’s Not The Size That Counts

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

It’s Not The Size That Counts

 Sometimes the world is a huge place. It can feel large and overwhelming. Sometimes you can be the little guy in the boxing ring with a much larger, much more intimidating opponent. When you’re the little guy in the middle of a big fight you can’t always win by brute force. When I’m taking more punches then I’m given you have to think about your strategy. Sometimes all you can do is put the gloves up, protect the face so hopefully the bell will ring and the round will end and I’ll take it back next round. Life’s too big sometimes and you have to make the world smaller.

When you’re going up against a larger opponent you have to think smart, fight smart, figure out their weakness and exploit it. What makes Batman a fantastic character is his ability to read a situation and adapt. While he may not always win every fight, he does learn from them, he rethinks, regroups, and creates a plan. While he was grossly outgunned he managed to go head to head with Superman, and with meticulous planning, he was able to emerge victorious in the fight. You have to learn to read, adapt, change, alter, and use your opponents weaknesses against them.

The Devil searches for your weaknesses. He searches for a way in to hurt you. You can’t win against the Devil in a straight up boxing match so you have to learn to how to fight smarter. Sometimes in boxing you have to learn to take the punches, let your opponent get tired, and then move in for the kill (sort to speak). You can’t allow the Devil to pin you against the ropes. You can’t allow the Devil to get blow after blow knocking you to the matt.

You may feel small, and the world might feel too big, sometimes you just have to focus on a small detail at a time and go with it. When the sounds of the world are deafening focus on something small and soothing. When all you have is your own breath, sometimes that’s what you need to focus on. You can’t expect that every day will be a great day. We can’t expect that just because we are Christians and we believe in God that we won’t have troubles. God specifically tells us that it’s in our faith we become more of a target. We’ll always have a bulls-eye on our hearts and we need to sometimes dig deep, find something deep within ourselves that gives us the ability to fight even when we are the under dog, even when the odds are against us, and even when we are tiny in the great big world, there’s always hope.

Throughout history we’ve seen times when the little guy comes through. We’ve seen when the outnumbered are able to pull off the miracle. If King David can defeat someone full grown men, seasoned solders trembled in the sight of, then every little guy should maintain a measure of hope. The world may get you down and that’s okay, just don’t stay down, keep getting back up, and keep fighting the fight. Romans 8:31 “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be[a] against us?”

 

 

 

 

True Lies

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

True Lies

A lot of people have been telling me they know what I’m going through. People have been telling me they understand, and they are there for me. Here are the facts, I haven’t recovered, and I haven’t had as many people in my life that have made a difference that I’ve needed. Yes there’ve been a couple, but this is too big for just a small few who can’t be around as much as I’ve needed. I haven’t really been in a good place for some time now. The heart wants what the heart wants, and when it’s fractured it takes time, energy, and patience to heal. The experts say it takes time and it takes distraction, and a rediscovery of one’s self. While I can’t deny I’ve had some amazing things happen like my debt being paid off, I have a roof over my head, and I have a pair of great dogs.

When I get close to someone it seems like they always pull away from me. I’ve struggled wondering why everyone’s always run from me. People say they are always going to be there, till they aren’t. You’d think the more people have up and left, I’d be afraid to get attached. The fact is, it take a lot for me to get attached to someone, but when I do it’s stronger then perhaps even I’d care to admit.

The sun rises and falls and while others around me live their lives, it feels as if mine is standing still. The heart seems to be filled with broken glass, and every time I breathe I start to bleed. It seems like I haven’t made any progress. I wonder why I’ve been given the loosing hand and no matter how I try to change the dealer, I just can’t catch a break.

We may love, but what if we have to keep that love buried? What do we have left when that fleeting moments of loving someone is what we have? We know that we have the love of God, and we know that, that’s supposed to be enough. We know that it’s our flesh desires that get in the way of what’s truly important. While it’s hard to push the loneliness away the hardest part is being in limbo. Do you love the girl? Does she love you? What’s going on with the job? Standing still, the tomorrow so full of questions, so full of doubt. The truest of lies is the lie you tell everyone else, but the lie you tell yourself. The truth is you’re not okay. While many will try to tell you they understand, unless they’ve endured even a fraction of what you have, been in similar situations, that act of comfort seems hollow.

All we are left with is the feeling of helplessness, the occasional sensations of hopelessness, all we can do is muscle through them, and pray for the best. We have to have hope that God knows best. While the nights seem long the truth will set you free. Even the most devout Christians can suffer from depression, anxiety, and moments of hopelessness. It’s not about feeling low; it’s how you handle day to day. Everyone will have days they are down, or sometimes months, and even a bad year. Make sure that even when you’re having your bad days, you stay focused on Christ. It’s okay to have your bad days, just make sure that you keep fighting to move beyond the storm and find your peace.

Doors

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Doors

As I’ve walked up to the door I about walked through and the door slammed punching me in the face. One of the biggest struggles we may have in life is going with the flow of the river. God will ensure that whatever path we are on will either continue or stop and we will be redirected on a new path. When the avalanche forces a different direction just remember what scripture says. Revelation 3:7 “And to the angel of the church in Philadelphia write: ‘The words of the holy one, the true one, who has the key of David, who opens and no one will shut, who shuts and no one opens.” Only the doors that God wants us to go through will be opened. The path we may be on can close at any time and we just need to learn to adapt.

Romans 5:3-6 “3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. 6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.” While it may hurt to have a door close, and it may not seem fair at the moment, it’s probably for our own good. We just have to have faith that what’s in our heart may not be what we are supposed to be doing. We may have our own great plans, our own aspirations, but we need to remember that we’re not the ones in charge. God’s the one in charge, and when we let go of the rein and let God be our pilot.

Giving up control is never easy, and it’s often one of the reasons people have a hard time with Christianity, but the truth is, if God only has plans for greatness, for prosperity, then why would we want to be allowed to walk down a destructive path? God will allow us to destroy ourselves, but there will be roadblocks and signs for us to turn back. If we fail to listen, or push our way through regardless, then that’s on us.

Keep listening to God, and watch for the road signs so we know where to go. Don’t let yourself be so consumed by tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself. Worry for today, and let tomorrow unfold. Watch for the signs God puts in your life to help guide you. The answers are always there, but just like an inspector you must be clever enough to see the clues in front of you. Have faith in God’s plan, and remember to be thankful for what you have, grateful that the woes aren’t worse, and love like it’s your last day.