From the outside

From the outside

Sometimes it’s a struggle watching the world form the outside looking in. What’s even worse is sometimes you’re on the inside and you can’t see the world at all. It’s been so long since I felt like I was making a difference. This last year is never without a challenge for me to wake up every morning, pull up my big boy pants and continue to fight the fight every day.

It’s hard to get out of bed some days. Some days I struggle to find the motivation to do much of anything. With each passing day I am forced to face my demons. With every hour I face my fears. Some days I emerge the victor, other days I fall in defeat. The thing is, it’s not about if you have days where life’s brought to your knees. If you’re on your knees then praying is what you should be doing.

The Lord will give you strength when you feel weak. The Lord will give you courage when you feel afraid. The Lord will give you stamina when you feel tired. The Lord will provide you shelter when it’s cold outside. Troubled times will be in the future and for all who walk this earth among the living. Suffering is something we all have but we have a say in how bad we’re affected by it.

Even as a devoted Christian man I still struggle some days, as we all will. The Devil will always be nipping at your heals hungry to devour you whole. The challenge is to get back up when you fall. The challenge is to have faith beyond our limited sight and trust in the Lord. It’s not easy, but anything worth having is never easy. Find the strength to keep going and pick yourself up every day. I know better then most how hard life can be, but I also know how giving and caring some people can be. I know that when you need it God will provide it to you. You have to have and keep the faith. You can’t give up hope, and in this time of celebration, remember the Savior, our King of the universe is still okay.

Be The Light

Be The Light

Matthew 5:14-16 14 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that[a] they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” On that night so many years ago a baby was born and broke the silence of hundreds of years. God sent a baby boy to bridge the gap between God and Sin. A perfect lamb, an innocent sacrifice with blood shed to may the price for all mankind. In return we are to live according to the commandments laid forth and in turn be the light lit to live in Christ’s image. We will never be Christ, but in our everyday life, in our actions, in our love for one another we should stand out in the crowd as something different, something special.

In this Christmas season shine brightly in the darkness of winter. Be so different from others that people will know you are walking with Christ. John 8:12 Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” In this time of Christmas we have time to rejoice and celebrate the birth of the only reason we have to rejoice. Rejoice by being happy and offer adulation for the prince of peace because He deserves more then we can ever offer.

Hark The Herald Angel Sing

Hark the herald angels sing
“Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled”
Joyful, all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies
With the angelic host proclaim:
“Christ is born in Bethlehem”
Hark! The herald angels sing
“Glory to the newborn King!”

 There are so many beautiful songs that we sing during this time of year, but most are just seen in passing. When we look deeper, feel more closely to the words we would find so much truth and joy in it. On the day the child of the King was born the Angels broke heaven and sang praises and joy. Luke 2:13-14 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, 14 “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!” We to must rejoice for the greatest birthday of all eternity.

No matter the dark, dismal, whole you may find yourself, the light will always shine brightly. The Devil will try and try to darken your days. The Devil will pull people away from you. The Devil will hurt you, curse you, and destroy everything you have, all in the attempt to pull you away from Jesus. When we are in our darkest hour we shall fear no evil for the Lord on high is always with us. We must have and keep the faith that in all things, good and bad, big and small, God is in control and his plans for us are beautiful, not ugly. So Merry Christmas and above all Happy Birthday to the savior of our lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Am One With The Force, The Force Is With Me

I Am One With The Force, The Force Is With Me

Being a child of the King I know where my worth is. Knowing I belong to God sets me free in so many ways from the bonds of darkness I once lived in. Being a child of the King gives us forever hope. No matter what happens to us in this life we will always have eternal salvation in the end. Romans 8:31 “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” No matter how bad things seem to be we have hope. Psalm 71:14 “But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more.”

The Devil will try again and again to break you, and to bring you to your knees in defeat. The Devil wants us to fail, he wants us to step away from God, to blame Him for our sorrow. The Devil will try and sway us, to persuade us that the darkness is better then the light. The Devil wants to try and hide in the shadows, that our sin if no one knows is okay, and it’s better to indulge and be free of worry. That’s when you look at the Devil and respond “Every word that you just said – is wrong.” (Luke Skywalker) We have to have faith in the Lord. We have to have faith the lure of the Dark Side is not stronger, that we can overcome the pull and remain in the light. Ephesians 6:13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.”

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As long as God is with me, I know I am one with the force for good. I cannot be defeated so long as I keep God in my heart. When you feel as if you’re about to crumble under the pressures of this world close your eyes, take a deep breath and feel the light of the world inside you. Feel it flowing through you. The Holy Spirit is all around us, it is inside of us, and when you open yourself to it, it can help guide you through any struggle you may encounter. There is no greater force in this universe, but the force and power of Christ. I know I am one with the force, and the force is with me.

Joy to the World

Joy to the World

The horrors of this world are many and can be found anywhere. You turn on your television, or the pages of the morning paper, scrolling through Facebook, no matter where you look, there’s so many horrible things being shoved in your face every day. How can we find joy and hope this holiday season with so much pain in this world? The very short, very easy answer is Jesus Christ, the baby who was born to live a life fully human and fully God at the same time. The God who lived a full life to experience the joy, and the pain of our life, and the God who wanted us to see resemblance within our own life. When we are going through something horrible and we are told to pray to God about our woe’s, we can because God truly does understand. There’s nothing easy about living this life, but it’s when we are brought to our knees we can truly see the joys of this world.

Sometimes it’s hard to see the good in people when we are living on top of the world. It’s hard to see the generosity of people when we have everything we want. When you’re struggling to get by and someone gives to you out of the kindness of their heart, that’s when you know there are still decent people out there. When you are in line at the grocery store and you’re a single mother of 3 and someone picks up the grocery tab for you. When you’re at a restaurant and someone pays for your table, that’s when you know good people are still around and hate hasn’t won the day.

While at times it seems like hate is everywhere you look, and racism, and bigotry is everywhere, there are also people who live like Jesus commanded. It’s simple this time of year, look to the heavens and remember that a child was born, he lived along side us, and eventually died because of us and in doing so saved us from ourselves. We were saved from an eternal fate of death. We celebrate the birth of that little baby, and we need to remember it’s not about the gifts we give to one another, it’s about the gift that was given to us.

Luke 2: 9-14 And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with great fear. 10 And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. 12 And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, 14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

 The child born that night sometime in the spring would bring forth both hope and despair. Hope for those who thirst for truth, knowledge and love beyond our own understanding. Those who knew and understood that without the love and sacrifice of the Lord we would always be bound to die by Sin. Despair for those who have embraced their sin and refuse to acknowledge the need for a savior. Whenever Christ is the topic, conflict ensues. While Jesus was being born Harod set out to slaughter thousands of first born children. When Jesus would spread the truth about God, angry hoards would gather and force him from the town. Sin breed’s hatred of the convictions held deep beneath the surface. The truth is we are in the darkness if we do not understand the true meaning of Christmas. We should be singing songs and praising the Lord and Saviors birthday! It’s a birthday party and for those who scream Scrooge this year, I say bah humbug to you. Enjoy this birthday celebration and one day when this life passes away we will have a celebration of our own as we enter the eternal city. Spread a little Christmas cheer this year and remember it’s not about the presents, it’s not about the tinsel on the tree, it’s about the love we share, the joy of knowing that God is still on the throne and still in control. Knowing we have overcome death, and that we were saved because of a little baby born so many years ago.

So, even when things are down and you may have the holiday blues remember the real meaning this year and try to let go of your inner Scrooge and praise for the blessings in your life. So joy to the world, and good will towards all men and women.

 

 

 

 

Rough Sleep

Rough Sleep

Waking up this morning I realized I haven’t slept well in days. I feel tired and sluggish each day. There are so many reasons someone may not sleep well. There could be chemical issues, to much salt, sugar, caffeine, or even a lack of self made melatonin. There could be Apnea issues, and then there could be a lot of stuff on your mind, which is where I think I am.

Some times when you wake up and you’re exhausted still you have to muster through. The days will come and go, and sleep health is the most important thing you may face in that time. I know for me this year sleep has been hit or miss. I can only remember a small handful of times I woke up feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed.

We should try to focus on the things we need in our life. We often overlook things in our life we need to spend more time on. Sleep in something in this country we don’t focus on much. “More than a third of American adults are not getting enough sleep on a regular basis” (https://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2016/p0215-enough-sleep.html) The problem with not getting enough sleep is everything that sleepless nights can cause. “Sleeping less than seven hours per day is associated with an increased risk of developing chronic conditions such as obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, and frequent mental distress.” (CDC)

We should wake up every morning and start off with praying to God for a great morning, another morning we’ve woken up. The night should be met with some quiet reflection after the TV goes off, put away the phone, and focus on the breath you take.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

 

Proverbs 3:24 When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet.

 Don’t let the weight of the world keep you weighted down during your night sleep. Let go of the worries of the day, and let yourself float to the pillow as light as a feather. Relax and let yourself rest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Separate Path

The Separate Path

We found one another and fell in love. We grew together and a life we made. The life we made was a house of cards, the wind came and it blew it down. Now looking at the wake of devastation, I watched in horror as the world didn’t make sense anymore. The tsunami that tore down everything in its path, it was a nightmare come to life. The blast from the atomic blast blinded me and left me helpless as I stood there frozen within my own mind. My body moved but my mind was trapped in a prison unable to escape. Failure was imminent and nothing would be able to stop the flood from coming.

Journey’s song Separate Ways sums up the last year pretty well for me. Having faith in the plan that isn’t my own is perhaps the hardest thing I’ve done. The horrible things we survive can either destroy us or it can propel us forward. When something happens to us in the past how does it affect us in the present? The nightmare that is left behind can play at any time during the day, find us in our sleep, and haunt us. But what if the demons of the past could be controlled? What if we could tame the beast and learn how to no longer allow it to control us? There may be hope if we but turn on the light to see in the dark.

Someone once asked me why I believed in God with so much pain and horrible things in this world. If God was so good then why are babies killed, why do innocent people get hurt? The answer is very simple. Free Will. Free will gives people the choice to decide their own path. We choose who we become friends with, and we choose the way we handle each and every event that comes to our life. Sometimes we make great choices, and other times we make choices that are self destructive. Sometimes our path’s are determined by the subconscious mind that wants what we know we shouldn’t have, but follow it anyway. Other people free will can harm people as innocent bystanders or out of cruelty or malice. God can interfere and sometimes does, but to put a stopper on free will in a fallen world of Sin would defeat the purpose of wanting His children to come to him freely. While miracles do happen, and God can play on someone’s heart, bad things are bound to happen.

I myself have been taken to the woodshed a few times. I’ve suffered at the hands of others, and I have caused suffering when I didn’t mean too. I’ve been brought to my knees and I’ve watched the world crumble and make no sense to what is up or down. While I’ve lost sight of the truth from time to time I always find my way back to the path. The Devil has tried to take me out of the game, to remove me from the board, but God’s plan for me is not yet finished. I can never apologize enough for the pain I have caused, and I can’t ever make it right. All I can do is try to atone for my mistakes. All I can do is ask for forgiveness and hope I get it. All I can do is try to make sure it never happens again and raise awareness for the perfect storm that hit me. While my path has diverged from that of those I love the most deeply in this life, I know that my love is not confined to my little part of this world, but that they know how I feel. I can never undo the past, but as I have fought to survive this last year, I keep in mind, there’s a reason to the pain. There’s a reason for the separate ways in my life, and I thank God for the blessings I do have.

Even though you’re gone I love you. Even though the end came I still care. God doesn’t abandon his Children. God never stops loving, and thus nor will I. Love in the deepest meaning of the word doesn’t die. Love always remains, and one-day love will concur all. Love isn’t weak; it’s the strongest thing in the universe. God will always provide, and even when we walk away from the path God will go off road with us. He may not approve of our choices, but he will always want us to come back. Faith in the truth, faith in the light, and the rest comes when you get your hands dirty with hard work. We may not think we’re strong enough, but when our strength runs low, we lift our eyes, and hands to the Lord and ask for help. We have faith that our needs will be provided for and in our hour of need, God will always provide. He provides every minute of every day, even if we don’t see the working of the little stuff. We don’t have to be strong enough, we just have to have faith. We can be broken, we can be lost, we can be afraid, but in God all things will be made right, and we can do all things because in Christ we are given strength, courage, love. Don’t loose sight of what’s important, and more importantly who. We only get a few people in our life that stay and make big impacts, don’t forget their face, don’t forget their name. Love can overcome anything. God’s love for us and the blood of our Savior shed for us was done in love freeing us from our eternal death, so if we could just love more like God, wouldn’t we be able to be happier too? Perhaps this Christmas you can start to love a little deeper.

Wants of Life

Wants of life

Sometimes in life we can want something so badly but we never get it. I have experienced that a lot this last year. The things I’ve wanted and I have prayed for have never come to be. While I greatly appreciate the things I do have, there area couple of things I don’t have I long for and wonder why I’ve yet to be given the things I desire most.

We often ask ourselves what we’ve done to deserve such horrible things in our life. While sometimes our bad miss fortune comes from our own selfish and arrogant choices, sometimes bad things happen to the innocent just because of other people’s selfishness. In those bad times we may wish we had it better, or often say if I only had this life wouldn’t be so hard anymore. While these statements are true and probably have been uttered by nearly every one of us at some point, it’s the struggles in our life that truly define who we are. How one person deals with adversity is far more important then how hey deal with life’s bliss.

When we look to the things we desire we can’t always see the writing on the wall, that sometimes that thing, that one thing we wanted may actually not be good for us at all. Sometimes we should be thankful for unanswered prayers. We must accept

that if the time comes we will get what we want, and if we don’t there’s probably a reason for it.

My deepest desire is for a family of my own. To find a woman to love and cherish who will do the same to me. Someone I can have kids with and experience what it is to be a parent. While I’ve been so close to

That and have watched it crumble and be ripped away, I believe even though I’m incredibly lonely this holiday season, some day, my princess will come. (Yes I know it sounds cheesy)

Truly I would love for someone to take up the mantle of my Black Canary. I would love for someone to come into my life that will accept me, and help me along my path. You know you’re on the right path when in two people you find one another’s best selves. When you push each other to be better, to grow, to support one another. Having faith in those relationships despite my own horrors in my past relationships, it’s something I still dream about and long for.

Have faith that God is still there and if you haven’t gotten what you want, that you’re being prepared for it, or something better. God Loves his children and wants his children to be happy. Plans for joy, not pain. We must remember to have faith, keep the fire and light bright in our spirits and remember that God is supreme. Recognize the blessings this holiday season, and remember the reason we celebrate. It’s not the presents, it’s not the food, it’s the baby that so many years ago that was born to one day die to break the chains of eternal sin. Merry Christmas to all. And thank God for unanswered prayers.

Working With Your Hands

Working With Your Hands

I’ve found that I have enjoyed cooking. Only recently within the last year has cooking become a big part of my life. It’s amazing what you find you can do when you are faced with a situation of either eating decent food, or eating out all the time. When faced with a choice the obvious healthy answer is to cook your own food. Something I’ve noticed is a sense of satisfaction for a meal well cooked. There’s a sense of joy knowing that others enjoy what I made with my own two hands. A sense of accomplishment knowing that I’ve come far in the last year and now, I can hold my own in the kitchen. But how does this transfer to veterans and how does this transfer to therapy?

In the military there’s always a sense of accomplishment. When you complete a long ruck march, when you get promoted, when you pass a PT test, there are many ways to be proud of yourself in the military. The problem starts when you get out and your achievements are no longer visible or recognized. After I left the military the achievements for a job well done came less then few and far in between. After years working in the civilian world it became hard to feel accomplished when it didn’t seem like anyone cared. Being a soldier came with some personality behaviors that stand out in the job field, but makes it hard for veterans due to the nature of those differences. Veterans statistically work harder, get to work early, leave late, accomplish tasks with a better use of time, and does the boss notice? Nope, not usually, and in that lies the problem. So what’s the solution?

Veterans need to find things to do they can be proud of. Recently I had the privilege of going to Hawaii on a trip that put my hands to work, my body to the max, my mind focused, and I took home a new sense of pride I hadn’t felt about myself in many years past. I was working with a group, I was achieving on my own, and through all of it, I walked away knowing I could do more then I had given myself credit for. I met so many people with amazing abilities through different walks of life post military. One man was a pro disabled surfer. The other makes beautiful sculptures out of wood. One man helps the homeless in the cities he goes to. I write, and with that I know I reach lives. Colossians 3:23 “23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in forced labor.” When you work with your hands and when you create something from nothing you can find beauty in it, and you can find a sense of purpose. Weather it’s singing, painting, word working, photography, or anything else, perhaps it’s that working with your hands you as a veteran have missed.

If you don’t have something yet, go find something. Figure out suitable hobby, something you’re good at that when you’re done you can feel accomplished. The more you work with your hands, the more you put forth suitable effort and the more you achieve, the better about yourself you will feel. Work with your hands, get them a little dirty, and see how it feels to make something.

 

 

 

The consideration of others (or lack thereof)

The consideration of others (or lack thereof)

For years I’ve spent a lifetime picking people up, being there for them when they’ve lost all hope, when their lives have crumbled around them and for my troubles when my life crumbles and I am without hope without sight, without direction no one is there to help me. The people that I’ve just helped lift and guide and been a shoulder to cry on grab the rope behind them leaving me on a precipice by myself. I find myself now at a crossroad in my life where I have to choose which road to take. One path leading me to a path of solitude of riding myself of all negative people, riding myself of people who are selfish and careless and have no regard for common decency this day in age. The other path to remain the way I’ve been helping people left and right with very little process of who is worth my time and who is not. While in my heart I feel it is not my place to judge someone and that my heart should be open to help everyone but now as I’ve gone a year and a half where I have been hurt time and time again by people that I have let into my life. I have trusted and when things got hard or difficult or convenient I was simply tossed aside like an old used up towel. At some point I must learn not to get attached, not to allow people into my heart without being properly vetted. Again at the crossroad how do I find people who actually care, who actually see the repercussions of their actions and actually understand how their actions may negatively affect someone else and then on the other hand if I remove myself from being able to find people how do I actually make those connections with people and actually find a potential beautiful friendship, or more important a long lasting relationship. In my heart I realize that at some point I need to relinquish the judgment and allow God to be the judge of someone’s actions but at the same time the loneliness I feel within my heart prevents me from being able to walk away from humanity and I force myself to walk through the thickets and thorns hoping to find the rose mixed in.

It seems in today’s world where all communication is done via text messages sometimes over the phone with little to no face-to-face interaction the consequences are no longer real. The consequences of deciding a friendship deciding someone’s fate is simply the push of a few buttons and you relinquish them from your life. You block them from your life is now so easy to end friendships without ever having to see face-to-face the applications or the hurt left behind by someone’s callus actions. It’s almost as if the person you’ve been talking to isn’t really a person at all so there’s no reason to treat them as such. There’s no reason to understand that your actions may actually hurt their feelings. More so if you get to the point where it doesn’t bother you to just shut somebody off, it doesn’t bother you to tell someone you care about them and that it is so easy for you to flip the switch. That tells me that our society has become more of a selfish society about what feels good in the now, but when things get hard it’s no longer about what is right it’s about what continues to feel good. Anything that doesn’t feel good in your life again leaving is a selfish society with no reasonable repercussions for her actions.

It’s hard not to let your heart harden, and to continue to walk through life with love in your heart. It’s difficult to continue loving when you suffer so much. It’s difficult to stay hopeful when you get stuck on a ledge all by yourself. With so little thought towards others, breaking hearts, destroying feelings, what hope is left? The hope we have is the hope that Jesus has given us. We hope for the best because the love of Jesus for us is nothing less then salvation. We are promised eternal love, and we are promised the end of hardships, but not during our lifetime. Revelation 21:4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” When the time is right this life shall pass away, and heaven will be ours when we accept Christ. No matter the hardships we may face, we are to continue to love, and forgive. Guard your heart from the serpent that will try to invade and spread the darkness within. Don’t allow your heart to harden and take away the light of the world.

 

December 7th

December 7th

The morning of December 7th the Empire of Japan attacked Pearl Harbor. The aftermath was 2008 sailors killed and 710 wounded. 218 soldiers and airmen killed, 109 marines killed, not counting civilians killed, all in all 2403 Americans lost their lives and more then a thousand wounded. The attack on our nation was bond to happen and sadly it was a shot in the dark, a sucker punch that would leave us limping and bleeding, but we always get back up.

From the ashes of that attack the country rose up together and together we were stronger then before. We are always stronger together then when we are driven apart. In today’s world the Devil wants us to turn against each other because like a lion chases the wildebeest they always go for the one separated from the group, they are weaker apart. When we are alone we can become easy pray for the Devil. Alone we are weak, we become scared, and we are more likely to fall and listen to the lies of the devil.

Like the phoenix that burns and is reborn in the ashes, we too can be reborn through our worst days. On days like today we honor those who served and sacrificed for that service. On today’s date oh so many years ago thousands of people suffered tremendous losses and I feel it’s only right that we remember. This time of year such violence is difficult because it being so close to the holiday will make the holiday forever stained. It can be difficult to live with such pain. The brave men and women who fought to survive, and fought to protect other innocent people should be deemed as heroes.

While we remember this date in history as being a major turning point in our nations history, let us also remember those who still put everything on the line to defend or protect us in this country. It’s never an easy thing to work on holidays, or give up special occasions, but someone has to do it. Hospitals need to run, and fires can start anywhere and at anytime. People don’t stop hurting others and police are never off duty. So please on today’s memorial, let us think of those who not only lost their lives, but those who are still serving every day.