Tag: christianity

I Lost Myself

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I lost myself

We all struggle sometimes. Struggle of the heart, struggle of temptations, struggle with the breaking of the body. Struggle with sin. The world is dark, but we have forgotten. The world seems lost, but again we forget. 

I have wandered in faith, unsure where to go. The world attacks, a never ending, relentless barrage of catapulted rocks, and arrows, sent from the dark army of the Devil. My armor holds, the shield deflects and absorbs the arrows. 

The Devil is cunning, swimming around, stalking His prey. As strong as we think we are, it is an illusion. We are nothing without Christ. We are nothing without the protection of the Holy Spirit. We only remain strong, as long as we are with Christ. Christ said, 

Matthew 7:24-27 “24 Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: 25 and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.

26 “But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: 27 and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.”

We mustn’t build our foundation on sand. When the Devil finds a crack or weakness in the Armor, he exploits it expertly. How there have been so many who’ve been swallowed and devoured by false teaching, fake doctrine, imposters, who have infiltrated and begun to spread like the darkness they are from. 

From attacks over all the land, there is not just spiritual attacks, but those of a physical nature. If Satan cannot attack a person’s faith, shall he not then attack your body? When your body is struck, the pain comes, and drags you down. Does a depression set down upon you? 

Psalm 91:1-4 “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High

Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;

My God, in Him I will trust.”

3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the [a]fowler

And from the perilous pestilence.

4 He shall cover you with His feathers,

And under His wings you shall take refuge;

His truth shall be your shield and [b]buckler.

The Lord is gracious. The Lord is sovereign, The Lord is Love. Depression falls upon me as my body breaks down. The Lord shall restore me, not in this life, but in a body renewed. I shall not fear tomorrow, but yes, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. The physical pain is a constant, as so is prayer to the Lord Almighty. I shall take refuge under his protection, and trust his will, will be done. Pain in this life is temporary, faith, abounds a new body, a body to come. 

Isaiah 41:10 New King James Version

10 Fear not, for I am with you;

Be not dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you,

Yes, I will help you,

I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

We all have struggles and pain, some different than others, but nevertheless, we all endure the storms. No one said being a Christian was easy, no, in fact, we were told the opposite. The church tends to believe if you have some kind of depression or other, that you just don’t have enough faith. This could not be further from the truth. The church of today is starting to put away stigma’s of old. We mustn’t forget that the mind is something we don’t truly understand. How does a physical injury affect the mind? 

When I ruptured the disc in my back I maintained a fairly positive attitude. In recent months however, as pain has begun to affect everything I do, I find myself harboring ill feelings. I find myself struggling to stay positive. I find myself trying to not be frustrated. I would not say I am without hope, but the thought of being my age, and having long term mobility and pain, does not stir positive feelings. 

We know that characters from scripture struggled with both physical and emotional conditions. While it’s easy to lose one’s self in those dark places, we must remember that as Christians, our hope lays beyond death. Our hope is not to live our best life today, but that our rewards wait for us in Heaven. I am by no means saying this to make lite of someone’s depression, or physical detriments, instead, that we may have hope. 

Just because we get lost in ourselves, doesn’t mean we are lost. God knows where we are, and all we have to do is turn to the Father, and he will guide us out of the darkness. We must not build our foundations upon the sand in hopes it will never sink. We must build our foundation upon the rock. As Christ said to Peter this is the rock I will build my church. We can deny, and doubt, and turn away, but that doesn’t mean God won’t use us. Have faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, and he will shine brightly for you. 

Good Thing God Loves Me

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Good thing God loves me.

I’ve spent quite a while praying about this, and I keep coming back to the same thought process. It’s something I’ve spent time praying over and I have come to realize, I’m blessed to have Gods grace and love. Scripture tells us we are dead in our sin. That means we are in a coffin and not drowning out at sea looking for a safety ring to be thrown to us. We don’t often like to think of ourselves as dead but in reality we are serving a life sentence. In the end comes our judgment, our sentence. Do we die, or live. See, justice was dealt and Jesus took the punishment for those who would seek him. For everyone else, well, the future doesn’t look so bright for them. The thing that I have struggled with is the works because of faith. Scripture tells us that we will be recognized as those who follow Christ by the fruit of our works. Not that we are saved in works, but the new creation in Christ we are compelled to do works in the name of Jesus. The thing that gets me is how fickle we humans are. Let me give you a scenario and I’ll let you decide. I will preface this by saying this is only one side of the story.

Here’s a young man, who meets a young lady. They fall in love and have a wonderful relationship. That relationship though romantically fades over time, the friendship lasts. The young boy goes into the military and becomes a man. Through the time spent serving he would buy the lady a car, pay off bills, and through the years be as close a friend as possible. Even so much as becoming a godfather to her first born.

Now, you would think or at least I would think, that would create a strong bond, and a desire to keep a friendship alive? Well, I was wrong.

This adds to a long line of people coming and going. The sad truth is we all fall short of the glory of God, but that doesn’t change the hurt. It isn’t that faith was placed in people, but more like the expectation that your car will start in the morning. Scripture tells us to never grow weary of doing good, but I say, sometimes that’s incredibly difficult to do. Love is one of those things that If we could truly do it, than we wouldn’t have conflict. Scripture tells us that love covers a multitude of sins. That being the case, If we truly loved we wouldn’t hurt people nearly as much. But alas we are lowly, wretched sinners. It’s hurtful to see people you care about leave. I’m not sure what’s worse knowing why someone leaves, or being ghosted. Sadly, as this event plays out over and over in my life, I’m left watching this rerun over and over again. It never gets easier. The one saving grace is where I am with my faith. I turn to the father in prayer and ask for their peace. Not knowing the why, all I can do is pray for them, and pray for healing. As I eluded to earlier, it’s hard not growing bitter. It’s even harder not to press these feelings onto new friendships. I don’t believe that eventually everyone leaves, I can’t, because truthfully that would be emotionally taxing, draining, and cruel.

I’m not sure why I’ve had so many people walk out of my life. I’m not sure if it’s me, or if I attract a certain type of person. Either way, all I can do is drop to my knees and pray about it. Pray for peace of mind, and a healing heart. I can’t and won’t lie and say I’m alright, but I can say I will be, perhaps someday. It’s one thing to say that I’m used to being hurt by people leaving, and the feeling of abandonment goes away, but that would not be true. While I am used to it, the pain doesn’t get any better. And it takes everything I have plus some to fight the urge to put up walls around my heart and mind, to protect myself from people. Why get close to people, or let anyone in, if they are just going to leave? It’s a valid question but one that cannot sit on my heart. I cannot place the sins of others, upon people I’ve never met before. It is not right to place a burden upon someone for the acts of another. Sadly people do this all the time.

I know I am a sinner, and I know I’m saved by grace through faith in Christ. Ultimately it’s love. The love of God that shines down on me, even though I don’t deserve it. I can only hope one day, I’ll find my life was worth something. My love language, one of them is affirmation. Something we don’t often get in our lives. This is a driving factor for me I’d say, that if I can arrive in Heaven, and find that my works in the name of Christ were pleasing, that the Father will one day look at me and say well done, that would make all of the pain worth while. My heart today is heavy. This I cannot deny. Peace is found in the love of Christ and that’s where I must turn.

Best Laid Plans

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Best Laid Plans

I’ve been thinking about Paul and his missionary journeys. I’ve been thinking what it really meant for those times, to give up ones family, to give up stability for the unknown of the road. In a time when Christians were being persecuted and not just thrown into jail, but the roman candles, and the lion games. I’ve been thinking about how easy it would have been to give it up and go home. What does it truly take to be obedient, and what does it take to not just be obedient, but to plan ahead for when the plan goes belly up, or flies off the rails. 

Acts 16:6-10 “Now when they had gone through Phrygia and the region of Galatia, they were forbidden by the Holy Spirit to preach the word in [a]Asia. 7 After they had come to Mysia, they tried to go into Bithynia, but the [b]Spirit did not permit them. 8 So passing by Mysia, they came down to Troas. 9 And a vision appeared to Paul in the night. A man of Macedonia stood and pleaded with him, saying, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.” 10 Now after he had seen the vision, immediately we sought to go to Macedonia, concluding that the Lord had called us to preach the gospel to them.

We see Paul multiple times trying to get into Asia to preach the Gospel, but found his plan wasn’t going to work, and instead God had a different plan. We often find ourselves in the same situations in our life. We plan and even the best laid plans fall apart and leave us scratching our heads as to why. For example. I attempted to recently create a leantu out of PVS for the Yurt/Bell tent I currently live in. For whatever reason, as much as I tried to plan ahead, it quickly became apparent that I was wrong. I was supposed to create a video for the Vermont mission trip I attended in 2020, but when I sat down to do the video, the hard drive I’ve used for a few years, failed. The drive containing nearly 600 gigs of information, pictures, photo shoots, videos, documents, every paper I ever wrote in college, and more, held hostage by a failure in the drive. It’s no surprise that the failure most certainly affected me emotionally, but one thing I needed to be reminded of was to find peace in the storm. I was reminded how important to stay calm, take time to analyze the problem, and to face them with clear heads. 

Much like the sea of Galilee storms can come at any time, with little or no warning. Someone asked me recently why God would allow something to happen. They did not blame God, but questioned God’s passive stance to allow such a horrible thing to happen. Of course, when these questions come up, there are no good answers. Pain, suffering, loss, are all difficult to understand. The big picture is impossible for us to see, and furthermore, it’s hard to determine where or why these bad things happen. Sometimes, we are collateral damage and others sinful nature hits us like a rogue wave in the waters. Sometimes we are the epicenter for our own earthquake. We are the cause by our own actions and choices. Either way, this world we live in, is corrupted by sin, and bad things happen. We know through scripture that no matter where we find ourselves, God works all things for the Good. Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,[a] for those who are called according to his purpose.” This isn’t easy, and when we are hurting it’s hard to see the good through our pain. We are blinded by our own emotions, and we see the world through a worldview, but the truth is, through the eyes of God, perfect judgment, justice, grace, mercy, and love, we cannot fathom what is truly fair or righteous. The sudden loss of a loved one, a job, or sickness, or some other event we find unfair, our emotions compromise our ability to see beyond. We must always remember that not a single day passes we are not given that chance through mercy. If God abhors sin, and we are sinners, then any micro second, we are allowed to exist is an act of cosmic mercy. When the world became so fallen and filled with sin, God sent a flood to wipe clean the slate. This grace we see in our daily lives, is often taken for granted. For whatever reason, our minds seek the smooth and easy path. The moment things get tough, or we suffer loss, we assume God is unfair, or punishing us. God is a mystery, and his ways are beyond our understanding. What we may see as bad, might be the best thing that could have happened. We often don’t see when we need to change paths, but God does. God knows what will move us, motivate us, and get us going, so sometimes the methods aren’t pleasant. All we can do is dig into the scripture, walk with the Holy Spirit, and do our best every day, killing off our old selves, and allowing the person we are today, to be reborn of the Holy Spirit, daily. 

I spent a lot of time thinking about my old self, and the person I was before. I spent a lot of time wondering how people would treat me if they knew the truth. I spent a lot of time worried that the person I was yesterday was what people would remember. I learned something through my church, that even if some talk, the majority are there to love, support, and pray for you. I lost my way after my ex-wife’s affair. I felt broken and battered, and in that pain, bad things happened. Things that in some ways I still haven’t been able to move past. I have one final step, and truth be told, I’m afraid. I’m afraid that day, that one bad day will forever define me. I have let that fear stop me from moving forward. I have let that fear take hold, and prevent me from making one single meeting. It’s okay to feel fear, it is not okay to let that fear control you. Speaking from personal experience, it’s of course easier said than done. I have planned over and over again to make that appointment, but every time I think today is the day, I back out. Fear is normal, but where I have failed, I hope you succeed. We all have our struggles. We are always looking at the world through the lens of yesterday, but I implore you, always let your lens be that of scripture. 

As I have moved into my Yurt/Bell tent, I have seen over and over again, how quickly plans can change. As I have attempted more than once to get something to work, I see the story of man in these last few weeks. I have toiled, I have till the land, worked hard, and even in doing so, the sin filled world shows me that not every plan will work out the way we hope. A lesson I learned a few years ago, I have never forgot the wise words “Make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, Throw away the plan.” (Lenard Snart, The Flash. 2017) While this is of course wisdom, what does scripture say? 

Proverbs 16:9 ESV “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” 

Proverbs 19:21 ESV “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 

Remember, that we may have our heart set on doing something, walking a particular path, or even doing something in a particular way, but we must remember, that our best laid plans, may not be the Lord’s plan for us. Sometimes when a plan fails, we may not know it, but it could very well be the best thing to happen to us. 

I have always wanted children, and for a little over a year when I was married that was exactly what we were trying to do. Now, 5 years later, I find myself in a new place in my life. I find myself happy, and content. I find myself free from the old me, and walking a new path. What seemed like a horrible and heart breaking year, I now see was God saving me. If God grants me a child, I know it will be in His perfect timing, and his perfect plan. For whatever reason plans have failed for the Yurt. I have had things come and go in the last few years and as I continue to grow, I understand that some stones we step on are big, and some small, but all allow us to move forward. The key, for us, is not to go backwards. We must learn that some stones are but quick platforms to move quickly from, and others we may be on for a while before moving on. 

Don’t lose hope when something doesn’t work out quite the way you want. Don’t lose hope when God says no, or even not yet. As Paul realized, that God’s plan is perfect, and even though we may think we know what we are meant to do, as Paul found his place was not in Asia, he knew someone else’s would be. We need to walk with the Holy Spirit as Paul was, to decern when and where we are supposed to be. Have faith in God’s plan, and take your own plans with a grain of salt. As I was once told, “flexible people don’t get bent out of shape.” (Dr. Rev. David Chambers). Through Christ who gives me strength, I can do all things. Christ who guides me, and watches over me, as I am part of His flock. I know I am not able to do this on my own, and I no longer expect to have what it takes to do this on my own. Have faith in the Lord, and let Him establish your plans. 

Catch my weekly videos at Arrow Preacher on youtube. 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV3r024gS2FRDIbpqnsDwWA

Grief out of Love

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“What is Grief, but love persevering.” Vision

There is no question that life can be hard. Life can leave us broken, battered on the floor. We ask why, why God? We find ourselves alone, lost, in a world full of pain. We lose people we love. Betrayed and sold out by those we cherished. Ignored by friends. Passed over for a promotion at work. Watch a child pass away. Bury a parent after years fighting dementia. We ask why God. We need God, we cannot make it through this alive without God. It is said that God never puts more on us than we can handle. This is utterly not true. God allows us to go through trials and tribulations because his will is perfect. We are not to rely on our own faulty strength but rather, we are to turn to our Abba Father to deliver us from evil. Philippians 4:13 ESV “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” If we relied on our own strength we would fail. Isaiah 41:10 ESV “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” It is Gods strength that sees us through. When left to our own path, our own desires, we often make our situation worse. Life hurts sometimes. Heartbreak happens. This life we live surrounded by the very presence of sin, we are often caught in the sights of sin, or collateral damage to sin, or the origin of the sin impact. This world leaves battle scars. No one gets out of this life without them. No matter who you are, where you come from, you’re going to end up with scars. Fear not says the Lord. Jesus says when you face tribulations, John 16:33 33 These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you [a]will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” Face the world daily and turn to God for everything. Do not pity yourself or the dead, for if they knew the Lord they have not died, but are truly alive. It’s okay to grieve, to miss someone’s presence. Turn to God and find peace.

THE SILENCE GROWS

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The silence grows

I write to you, even pour out feelings, but met with silence. I took the time, I write and write. Day after day, I take my time to beak the silence as I reach out to you. So many out, and nothing in return. Years of building relationships. Years of extensive, extending a hand in friendship. Picking up the phone from every call and message. I extended my wallet, my ear, my trust, my heart, and now it’s silence. A fool I’ve been, I couldn’t see, because I didn’t want too perhaps, my kindness used and abused. In my own time of need you were no where to be found. How could I have been so blind. The years of darkness I felt, suddenly creeps back in. The seeds fall and grow choking the life and happiness from my life. Abandoned yet again, the flash in my mind, as history repeats itself. Broken on the floor the tears just won’t flow. I do not know why, or how I got here. The color fades to black and white, the hurt a crushing feeling that buries in shame. The darkness settles in like an old friend. Must I say goodbye? Must I feel such loss yet again? Is this natures pruning? Did I mean so little to so many? Was I a convenience at the time, and without warning or word, expendable? History it seems repeated again. What have I learned? How to break, how to hurt. I’ve learned so much and yet again, here I am. The lessons seem to fade to mist. What can I do, when I reach for you, I reach and reach, into the darkness. I reach and lunge but like casting the fishing line, it comes up empty, every time. I see you there, you’re always around, but my hand you don’t take, a reach into the folly.

You’re not my enemy, I pray for you, I drop

to my knees and wish happiness upon you. I ask nothing of you except friendship. I have heard your tears. I’ve listened to your screams. You even once, heard mine. So close, but now ships passing on a fog filled night. Should I let go? Should I call out louder? Will my cries be heard? If you wanted to talk wouldn’t you reach out? What should I do? A broken heart makes poor choices. But, it isn’t just broken, but angry. Years and years of open roads. The pouring out of memories, feelings, thoughts, and now the road ends, the road I’d taken for years, can no longer be traveled. An absence, and yet a carrot dangled in front of me, teasing me, a sign, or is it?

I place so much in all the wrong places. I crave acceptance. I crave being wanted, and needed by others. I crave feeling important. I place that up high, an endless race I could never win. How many must I loose before I see the truth? How many must walk away before I find my value elsewhere? I walk miles upon miles seeking what I could never have. A hollow hole, unable to be filled. Jesus set me free from this cycle I find myself in. Jesus set me free from this pain. These shackles bind me and break me. Jesus be my chain breaker and show me a better way. Heal these wounds of the ages, and heal my broken heart. Jesus heal me and light my way home. Jesus my heart hurts, broken from saying goodbye. Jesus you pieced me together atom by atom, cell by cell. You’ve watched me grow, suffer, laugh and cry. Jesus you know my heart is breaking to pieces. Jesus lift me up and dry my tears. Take me out of this place and show me my value in you. Jesus show me that there’s more then this. Jesus my light on the hill, my shepard come find me, a lost sheep in the wilderness. I cannot do this on my own. I am fragile but strong. My heart breaks but I am not broken. I hurt, but I do not crumble to the ground. Jesus my rock, the rock, my foundation, my anchor in the storm, you save me when my sails are torn, and the keel creaks in the rough waters of this storm. Jesus my Lord, Jesus my light, dry my tears and guide me back, guide me to safety, my Lord. I cannot do this without you. I cannot stay in the darkness. I cannot stay in the silence. I long for Harold of the angels. I crave the sound of the choir of Heaven. I seek your face my Lord, I seek you in the darkness, lift me up, save me, save me from myself, this world, this hurt. Show me the blessings, so many abound around me. Teach me to number my days, so I may grow a heart of wisdom. Teach me to manage when I’m at the still waters, the green meadows, or the shadow of death. In you I trust my Lord. You hear my cries, deliver me from this toil.Free me. To you I pray.

The Truth

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The Truth

Being a Christian doesn’t mean I have it together all the time. It doesn’t mean someone is ok all the time. It doesn’t mean you’re never depressed. It doesn’t mean you can’t have other mental illnesses like bipolar or anxiety disorder. It means we realize we cannot possibly make it through this journey alone. We rely on our Lord and Savior to help us through and that we are nothing without Jesus Christ with us.

I am woefully insecure. My mind seeks human approval and acceptance. My mind is wrought with loneliness and self doubt. My insecurities make me question much about myself. I’ll give some examples.

“Hey how are you?”(message seen) two days later still no reply…

(Brain: what did I do? Are they upset with me? They don’t like talking to me. Am I not important to them?)

If I go too long without hearing from someone I question if I matter to that person. Do I cross their mind? Why don’t they say hello. Why don’t they ever check on me? Ultimately years of abandonment have culminated into a fear of such things, along with a deep seated question of self value and a desire for friendships that won’t scatter when the light reveals my imperfections.

As years pass by it seems I have become more and more isolated, not by choice, but by world events. My recent bout with Covid, left me seeking and searching both inside myself and outside for answers. While some people came to my aid, others whom I expected to be there weren’t. It produces a mix of feelings associated with my personal value. Of course the caveat to all of this is both simple and immensely complex. I am a child of God, a follower of Jesus Christ, and God don’t make trash. I have value because I am loved by God. On the flip side, feeling as I do are feelings of the world. The feeling and desire of wanting human contact is powerful. My soul and mind are at odds with one another and with a history of depression, a fierce battle.

The desires that comes and goes to reach out to people, is one that often seems to get me into trouble. It seems the thought of checking on loved ones and friends regularly, even if it’s just to show I care, is often met with feelings of anxiety, and messages left unanswered. Of course, in this age of digital communication, it’s too easy to ignore, and simply vanish in an event now called ghosting, is far too common in my life. Ghosting happens regularly in my life. And on top of that, those whom I had been friends with for years, have up and vanished, leaving me to hold on tight to those relationships I value most. Sometimes creating a catch 22. The desire to keep people close often has the adverse effect of pushing them away. Finding balance has not been my forte’.

Living with this kind of fear of loss is not easy, but there is hope out there to find. When I’m at my lowest, I remember my eternal Father. I remember that Jesus died for me, and that’s something I can’t ever let go of. In order to manage lows, anyone, anytime has to be proactive. In order for me to manage my way through the dark times, I have to create a mix of time with God but also time with people. It’s hard going sometimes, but knowing there’s light at the end of the tunnel is vastly important. Making my way through Covid, and the isolation it created has been a challenge. Many days of long periods of silence, left me in time of study in Gods word. I think back to Paul and the times of solitude in prison. How much less of a man am I, that I should not suffer also? If Paul can do it, I shall also. Paul suffered yet endured. He had a couple people he could always count on, as do I.

Managing these things doesn’t have to be completely debilitating, even though it proves a challenge, life moves on. Finding ways to manage the loneliness, and dealing with the depression that comes with, the lack of motivation, is a cyclical problem to deal with, but one that is nothing beyond what God can manage, and get me though. Time keeps moving forward and so shall I. God gets all the glory, and provides me everything I need. Never keep from moving forward, and never stop fighting the good fight.

Plenty of Blame

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Plenty of Blame

I recently saw a report where New York Gov. Cuomo attempted to place blame of Covid-19 deaths on former President Trump. It occurred to me that this is nothing new, but rampant right now. IF we spent less time pointing fingers, and instead acknowledge that first we all share blame, down to the individual household, and also less time pointing fingers, and more time sitting at the table to work on the problem, we would be able to find reasonable solutions. Problems such as these are often much bigger, far larger, than one person. Every single human is currently responsible for the outcome we face. From not wearing masks, to not staying home, to hosting parties, to unnecessary travel, etc. We all place blame, but largely, if you want to be more specific, how much can we really do to fight a pandemic? While this isn’t the first time, it is the first time that a virus could travel so easily around the world, so quickly. I would say, preparedness is largely problematic. Were we ready? No, of course not. This problem goes back a long way. Pointing out all the failures could easily be an entire blog on its own, but right now I don’t feel that’s what we need. Suffice to say, we are ALL responsible for the current conditions we find ourselves in. 

God has allowed this virus to take hold of the earth. We may not know if this was caused, or allowed to happy, but either way, God is still in control of all things. God’s love is sufficient, and in these troubled times, we need to remember where we can go with our broken and lost hearts. 

Hebrews 4:16 ESV “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

WE must remember that no matter what we are facing we are accepted into the arms of the Abba Father. We must take this time and turn to the Lord. We must trust in the Lord that He is sovereign over all, and we must trust in His will. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

WE have all lost something in this pandemic. We voted and a new President took office. We may not like, we may love it, but regardless, for the next four years, we are here. We are one nation under God, and unless we want to see this great nation face judgment, we must turn from our ways and find it in our hearts to repent. God has been more than gracious with giving us time to do so, but now’s the time to stand firm on our beliefs. Are we to allow our country to go down a dark path? Perhaps, we will. We must all face ourselves and check our hearts. We must start with the man/woman, in the mirror. We must turn to the Father and ask for the forgiveness, and the courage to stand where we must. We cannot continue to pass blame and point fingers. 

Start Right Here By: Casting Crowns

We want our coffee in the lobby

We watch our worship on a screen

We got a Rockstar preacher

Who won’t wake us from our dreams

We want out blessings in our pocket

We keep our missions overseas

But for the hurting in our cities

Would we even cross the street?

Huh but we wanna see the heart set free and the tyrants kneel

The walls fall down and our land be healed

But church if we want to see a change in the world out there

It’s got to start right here

We cannot continue to expect the light to shine if we ourselves are hypocrites. Do we stand against abortion? Sure, if you’re a Christian you should, but at the same time, are you supporting low income families? Are you helping that single mother hurting? Are you supporting foster parents, and adoptions? It’s not an easy ask, but if Christians would truly support those ventures and not just in prayer, but in time, money, and support, those supporting abortions wouldn’t have a solid argument. Make no mistake, abortion is a sin, but no more of a sin than the over consumption of alcohol, the adultery, the lying, the gossiping going on all around us. IF we want a change we have to start right here, right now, in each of our hearts. 

Christians, I call to you, I implore you to seek a Biblical worldview, instead of following along the secular one. I beg you to see the light of Christ. WE must come together, and we must stop the infighting, stop the complaining, stop the hate. We must not judge others by their skin, their clothes, their social status, or the country they hail from. We must find balance. We must find love in our hearts, and find a way to uphold the law of the land, uphold the law of scripture, and love our neighbors. Are we really taking care of the church as we were asked to do so? Are we managing the talents we were given, or burring it in the sand letting it go to waist? Church, let us do better. Let us live in love. Let us shine the light of Christ in the tumultuous times. Go in peace, go in prayer, and go in love. 

Point Of View

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Point Of View 

“From my point of view the Jedi are evil!” Anakin Skywalker. This was when we knew and understood that Anakin Skywalker had truly fallen to the dark side. We see how from his particular point of view the Jedi no longer stood for what they truly believed in, that they were in fact too weak to bring order to the galaxy. A story not too dissimilar then that of Satan standing and turning against God. From Satan’s point of view, God wasn’t doing a good enough job, and be it jealousy of humanity, or not enough attention, or something else entirely, Satan felt he could do a better job ruling over the galaxy and attempted to overthrow God, foolishly I might add. But, in Satan’s story, we Christians, God Himself are the bad guys. We have a hard time understanding that, and moreover we as humans have an even harder time separating truth from opinion, from point of view. 

We often say truth is relative, but that’s a farce. There is no such thing as relative truth. There may be a difference in point of view, but that hardly means one thing is true for someone, is not true for someone else. This pizza taste great, is not a truth, it’s an opinion. Abortion is okay, is both an opinion, but also can be settled by what is true. To some people murder is okay, but as society goes, as scripture goes, cold blooded murder is not. This is a truth. As far as truth goes, it is defined as such “That which is true or in accordance with fact or reality.” (Websters) Now, let me preface this by stating we as humans have often said something was true that clearly we were wrong. We have often stated things such as the sound barrier could never be broken, or the earth was flat, or the center of the universe, or faster than light travel is impossible, all of which have now been deemed possible or plausible, or flat truth, pardon the pun. Scripture, however, when examined correctly, carefully, and objectively will indeed reveal truth. For this particular argument I will offer up two authors and Christians, (Former Atheists) who would do a far better job at explaining why this is true. “A Case for Christ: Lee Strobel” And “Cold Case Christianity: J. Werner Wallace”

While point of view is important, and I daresay vital to the discussion, we have gotten so far away from respectful discord, to building walls. I find it ironic that a southern border wall is such a hot button topic for so many, but in the same breath determine that the conversation of Christianity is met with walls. We have gone so far now as to try and live without laws, live without rules, and determine that these things are fluid concepts, and thus by definition fit the term anarchy, “a state of disorder due to absence or nonrecognition of authority.” If there are no true rules, no true right and wrong, then law and order will constantly be under attack from both criminals, and those sympathetic to them. I can show you what this kind of behavior and ideas gets you. 

Once upon a time, and man beloved by the people is hailed as a hero, and welcomed with open arms, and a party. This man was conspired against by the elite and the powerful. The people then were gathered together to witness a trial, charges brought against this man. When given the chance, a swap was offered, the innocent man, or the man known to be a vial criminal, with a long history of crimes. The innocent man was called to be put to death. We today essentially do the same thing all around us. We make choices of innocent and guilty within moments of a news broadcast. We determine guilt or cause before the truth comes out. We have little care or worries about truth anymore. Today if we feel something, then it is right for ‘us’. While of course this is true of some things, which cheese is the best, which football team is the best, etc. This does not have a complete blanket to cover everything. I have been putting much thought into the term truth. Many years ago I experienced an event that I knew was my fault. I believed entirely that I was to blame, and my hurt and heartache was punishment for my wrong doing. I spent so much time believing this as truth, that I missed out on something important. People will say and do things to you, things that hurt, and it’s often done out of anger, but that doesn’t make them true.  Let me explain. When I was a younger man I got married out of love. Foolish, but true. I let go of my dreams, my career, and my brothers for a woman. I would get married quickly, but assuredly and would end up moving across the world to live in another country. After just a few short years, I would find out about an affair, and it would leave my life in shambles, rebuilding, and at a loss. God would see fit to give me someone new, and for a few years we would build a good life for ourselves. Sadly, after seven years together, I would endure yet another affair, and watch this time a my entire foundation cracked and the walls crumbled down upon me. A foundation that was not built with God in the center of my relationship. God was not my foundation, even though he was in my life, he was not what I built my house on. That is the truth. The truth I gravitated too was, it had to be me. I was the one at fault. I was the one that pushed them away. I was the one they choose to leave, and I was the common denominator. I allowed this to permeate my entire body and I accepted it as truth. I let the pain and suffering I was experiencing, alter my perspective. I blamed God for my suffering, and I was angry, hurt, and for lack of a better term, I was a broken man. It’s easy to let circumstances sway our perspective, even if we know the truth. Look at the word happy for an example. What makes you happy, think about it for a moment. For some of you, you thought about a food, perhaps an alcoholic beverage, or maybe someone. Some people might have thought about a new home, or a new job? The thing with all of these, is while there’s nothing inherently wrong with these things (unless the person is not your spouse if you’re married, then yes, that one isn’t part of the discussion. But otherwise, every new home comes with its own set of problems. Every new job comes with a litany of its own troubles. Even relationships come with a new set of problems.

Christmas this year is that for many. Christmas this year as many have called the least ‘Christmasy’ feel they’ve ever felt. I myself have felt this way, but the truth is, we have so much to be thankful for. Our emotions are easily swayed, and because our happiness fluctuates so easily, the voice of darkness easily creeps in when we are not vigilant. I have watched as friends come and go in the past years. I have watched as opinions change, and paths diverge. I would like to say this, may this Christmas bring you healing, and reconnection. May this coming year be a reminder how fragile our lives are. We all have our own points of view, our own vantage points, but we must be able to look past and show love and compassion. If we have learned nothing this year except how important relationships are, and how divided we’ve become. So many opinions floating around, and through it all, we see fractures not only in our country, but in families, in friendships, and it’s heartbreaking. While we all have our own opinions whether or not they are based on facts, we must learn to listen, learn to talk, and more importantly, we must learn to hear. While there are many great and wonderful stories of people coming together to love and help their fellow man, we have also seen a year of great turmoil, and heartache. For a country bleeding, for a country splitting at the seams, one would think we would be coming together. The sad reality is, we’ve let our points of view, our vantage points be a place of contention and we aren’t willing to hear what the other side has to say. We are all to busy walking away from relationships, friendships, or too busy talking to hear. 

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” We must consider what hills do we want to fight for, or what can we let go of? We need to learn to communicate more, and be more willing to sit down and talk. We should not be walking away from meaningful relationships, meaningful friendships, for little cause. Truth is found where there is evidence. Real truth is not subjective, and the truth is we need one another now more than ever. Fellowship is so important to Gods creation. God said to Adam, it is not good for you to be alone. While we cannot meet in person we can still communicate through technology. Hebrews 10:25 “Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Are we making it a habit of ignoring friends? Are we making it a habit of walking away from people? Are we making it a habit to close doors simply because of an opinion difference? Whatever the cause the question is did we do anything to reason or rectify any wrongs? 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

We all have fallen short of the Glory of God. We must be gracious, filled with mercy, and love, and compassion. Let us remember who the enemy is, and divided we are a much easier target. Let us set aside our petty differences, and come together under the blood of Christ, and show true love to one another. Let us celebrate this Christmas holiday for what it is, the celebration of the birth of Christ. Christ our Lord and Savior who was born, raised by Marry and Joseph, ordained by God, led a perfect, sinless life, and was crucified under Pontius Pilate. He was buried and on the third day rose again. He walked with the people for 40 day, and ascended into Heaven. This is truth. This is true, and accurate, and evidence driven truth. Jesus Christ concurred death, and has given us hope. Let us not grow weary of doing good in the name of Christ. Let us be renewed daily of His Spirit. Let us build up one another, especially after such a hard year. Say I love you more often. Hug a little tighter. Speak cheer more frequently, and reconnect with those you’ve been away from for far too long. The Angels said this, Luke 2:10 “Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.” We have so much to be thankful for, and so much to place our joy in, we should be sharing that love to all we can. Despite having such a hard year, every day is a new day, and we are given new chances to do great things with every day. Don’t let the Devil tell you, you can’t, you shouldn’t, you aren’t worthy, you are too far gone, or it’s too late. Don’t allow the lies to permeate your ears and rob you of your joy. From the Devils perspective God is the evil one, and that’s why Satan, Lucifer is truly lost. Emotions clouded his judgment and he missed out on the relationship with God. Don’t miss out in your own relationships with God, and those around you. Rise up, and have a very joyful, and Merry Christmas, because there’s so much, truly, to be joyful about. Count your blessings, big and small, and you too will see, Glory to God in the Highest, and Peace and Good Will Towards All Men/Women.