Tag: christian

Christian Today

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Christian Today

Being Christian doesn’t mean living a perfect life. Being Christian doesn’t mean never making bad choices. Being Christian doesn’t mean you won’t ever hurt someone, or even yourself. Being Christian doesn’t mean you have the right to judge someone else for their failings. In fact being Christian is living life walking with Jesus. It isn’t about a book of rules, or even a book of judgmental prudes, but merely a book of how our Heavenly wants us to live, for He knows what’s best for us. Living a life of scripture is to share that love with others. Pointing out someone’s sins or mistakes isn’t passing judgment, it would be a kin to telling a friend they are making bad choices. Scripture does however state in doing this, do so with kindness.

Being Christian is about having a relationship with the Father. Being Christian means taking care of the poor; taking care of the homeless; taking care of widows; taking care of orphans, and each other. This is not a take from the rich and give to the poor, this is your heart in Christ should desire to help those in need. Living in Christ is to serve. Are you?

There are so many people who have negative views of Christians. Are we doing our best to share love? Are we living out our faith? We as Christians will never be judged more than those skeptics who watch us from afar. Christian, stay away from foolish arguments. Live in peace as much as you can with all people. Do your best to share Jesus and what being Christian really means. Remember that your mission field is just outside your door. Love all, Serve all. Don’t give up on the world around you. Don’t loose hope. We are ambassadors in this land, sent by Christ to share to the world of something more beautiful, more special, more eternal than anyone has ever known.

Christian, keep your eyes on Christ and don’t fret the day away. You can gain not one moment of your life by worrying. Fear not the news of the day, nor the season of the year, but know Jesus is still on the throne. Stand for Jesus, and never give up ground to the world. Hold fast to your faith. The tomb was then and will always be empty.

I’m sorry, I’m not Sorry

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I’m sorry, I’m not Sorry 

(Avengers Endgame Spoilers) 

Tony Stark looks over at Dr. Strange, who lifts a finger, telling Tony there’s only one way. Tony then realizes the one way is for him to be the one, to sacrifice himself for the good of the team, and of the universe. There was only one path that would ensure victory over Thanos and his army, and it was Tony. 

How fitting an end for the 11 years of cinema, but what can we take away from this cinematic wonder, but a lesson for all of us to understand the journey of Jesus Christ. Scripture tells us that while many will attempt to achieve Heaven the journey will not end well for many. Not to say the journey is easy, but the way is simple. Jesus tells us in John 14:6NKJV “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” This seems like a very simple message. It is, but sadly it is also foretold that while this is the one way, the truth, many will not accept Christ and well… Many will parish into the burning pits of sulfur known as Hell. Matthew 7:22 NKJV “Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ There is a difference knowing Jesus in an academic sense, and knowing Jesus in your heart. 

Today there’s a phenomenon going on worldwide known as the Fluid Truth, or to each his own. When it comes to Heaven this is a whole lie. There is not half-truths, or partial truths referring to Heaven. This is a lie Satan has used to spread and divide man from the Father. Sadly, mankind has bought into this lie hook line and sinker. The idea now that everyone has the right to believe what they way, is fundamentally accurate, you do have the right to believe whatever you want, but that doesn’t mean what everyone believes is true, or even factual. One of the great things about being an American prior to the last decade is that Americans were free to worship and follow whatever religion they so choose too. While I firmly believe in a free society, one to choose their own path, it can easily be said and proven that there has been a growing movement to silence the voice of Christians in this country. That’s not an inflammatory statement, it’s true, and can be seen in the way the government runs, the attacks upon the church, and it’s people, and while Christianity is not yet considered “hate speech” it does look like this country is headed in that direction. 

There have been many in high places that would like to silence Christian speech, and silence scripture all together. Many people as Billy Graham once said are offended by the cross. He also says the cross is a confrontation we all must face. Billy Graham’s Final Message (https://youtu.be/b4TMuee7Ir8) 

We deserve so much more than the life we have. We deserve death, as the cross demands a new lifestyle in all of us. We know that spiritual warfare is a lifelong journey. We know that spiritual warfare is a journey we must all face. We know the word is a two-edged sword. The scripture is a weapon against Satan. Do not compromise on the word. The word is in its entirety truth. Faith in scripture gives instruction on how to repent. The Lord wields a two edged sword a double edged sword. This strikes against even the 1% of lies. Strike down the lies, drop the hammer on falsehoods, and strike them down. 

Revelation 2:16 “Repent therefore! Otherwise, I will soon come to you and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth.” The word of the Lord is a sword to strike down the forces of evil that surrounds us every day. 

The word of God is infallible, it can be proven by legitimate time and study. History itself has proof that Christ lived, died, and was buried, and rose again. For those who question this, you can watch Lee Strobel a once proclaimed Atheist who researched and instead of disproving Christ, proved Christ. https://youtu.be/67uj2qvQi_k

Stand on the truth of the word of the Lord. Scripture says John 1:1 NKJV “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” Jesus Christ is the word, and we must believe that the word is truth, not one of many, but the one and only truth. We must first believe, and then we shall receive. 

John 1:12 NKJV “But as many as received Him, to them He gave the [a]right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name:” 

We are given what we need in this life, and with truth we can defend, truth we can count on, truth we can trust, Jesus is our savior, Jesus is the one and only way to the Father in Heaven. Jesus answers our prayers, and Jesus saves us and delivers us from evil. Satan falls at the word of the Lord, and we have the Sword of the Lord. 

Do not compromise, and do not kneel before the world. Kneel before Christ only. Do not compromise the word to appease the world. Do not stand with the fallen world, and never give an inch to the world. Stand tall, stand firm, and remember to always stand with love. Scripture tells us how to share scripture, how to share the love of Christ, and that’s in love, and peace. Share God by living in God. Share Jesus by looking like Jesus in your day. Seek God and you shall find, you shall receive. Have a relationship with God, for religion is what you can do to receive, Christian is not a religion, but a relationship. We can do nothing for our Lord, but instead everything was done for us. You are adopted into the family of Heaven, and for all your questions, all your wonder, we know Jesus lived, and we know Jesus Died, and we know that in proof, Jesus rose from the dead in fulfillment of the scripture that foretold his coming. Never give up on yourself, and never turn your back on God, for he will never leave, nor forsake you. Hold firm the sword of truth, and you shall be strong, and Jesus we know is committed to you through a covenant of blood, that no one, and nothing can ever break. 

The Pull Of The Dark Side

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The Pull Of The Dark Side 

It’s easy to get swept up in the every day minutia of this world. The world wants to separate you from God. The world is ruled by the once most beautiful of all of the angels who betrayed God, and orchestrated a rebellion and attempted to overthrow the heavenly kingdom. It’s shocking how fast the doubt, the uncertainty, and the worry creeps into your life when you’re not being careful. Even when you are feeling alone, like you’re the only person on the planet, know that you are sitting on a well of vast untapped love and grace from a father who adores you above all else. You are perfectly and wonderfully made for a purpose. 

I have often given people chance after chance after chance in my life, giving people opportunities to repent, to forgive, and even chances to come back into my life knowing what the eventual outcome would most likely be. I wonder why I fail to give myself those same chances. Why have I not seen my own worth or my own value, as I have seen in other’s. Why have I not seen the goodness within myself to forgive myself, or to be patient with myself when I have often gifted those things to others? The truth is while I spent time looking for earthly comforts, people to be in my life, people to talk too, to fill a chasm, it spreads because the world cannot fulfill that gap inside. The world’s promises are empty and cannot fulfill what feels like it’s missing. For the only fulfillment of one’s soul is found in Jesus Christ, who gives help to the helpless, faith for those who are faithless, and the joy for those who live in despair. This is the way for those who are wayward. For those who are lost in the wilderness unable to navigate the worlds treacherous environment there is hope, there is a savior who is come to free us from bondage, to show us the way, to lead us out of the wilderness and to the land of Sweet honey. The way is Christ, the only way the truth and the life.

Problems come up in our lives, disagreements, differences of opinions, etc. In recent years I have felt both connected and disconnected at the same time. The struggle to find the balance between truth, and feelings has been difficult. I have been thinking about that balance and considering the balance in the Jedi. Most Jedi see balance as removing what is toxic of the force, thus bringing balance to the light. Some people believe that balance of the force is more gray rather then black and white. Gray Jedi bits of both light and dark sides of the force. But how does that relate to us in the real world. I think balance is finding the peace within. As Sirius Black says “The world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters. We’ve all got both light and dark inside us.” (Harry Potter, Order of The Phoenix) We as Christians must realize that while everyone has an opinion based on point of view, the fight of good and evil, or rather God and the Worldview, is something we must all take very seriously. Of course there are hills to die on, and hills not too, but I urge Christians to check themselves. When or if engaged in an opinion-based conversation, be sure to check that opinion and ensure it lines up with scriptural teachings. The Bible is not a book where you can pick out what you like, and toss aside what you don’t. Now, this does not give you the right to start throwing judgments around at people. Sin is rampant in this life, and surrounds each and every one of us. As Christ said, “For the one who has not sinned, throw the first stone.” We will see sin all around us, but as I have said before, just because something is true, doesn’t mean it’s helpful. Now, that being said, people will follow whatever form of logic they want, even those who know scripture may choose to ignore it to suit their own personal opinions. 

So here’s my advice, don’t engage in those who ignore truth. And reverting back to my original point, find truth in the infallible word of God. Sin is what leads us to doubt ourselves. Sin is what leads us to question our worth. Sin is what leads us to find comfort in all the wrong places. Sin, is by definition anything that is self-serving that separates us from God. We must learn to find the balance within, which is often attacked from outside sources. Temptations from Satan, attacks from others, forgotten by friends, abandoned by loved ones, they will all come and go at some point in your life. Where are we in our walk to learn how to handle and manage these types of things? Where am I? I don’t really know where I am. I’m a broken, sinful mess, but I’m a work in progress. As scripture teaches us, God uses broken things. 

Even in our brokenness, God uses those willing to serve. Are we able to look past ourselves and see who we are meant to be? How do we make choices in our life? I am quick to give others grace, but not myself. How do we deal with difficult people? How do we deal with the doubt within ourselves? Scripture gives us guidance and instructions for life, but do we read and study it? Are we truly knowledgeable about Gods word and teaching? We can be such an opinionated people, but truth is, the only opinions that matter are those of our Lord and Savior Christ with the Father. There will always be hot button topics, and while some are up for debate, some in scripture are not. Faith in the Word gives us guidance and comfort and we desperately need that. 

I find myself viewing the world different then I used too. People aren’t always easy to get along with, and if I’m honest, I have found myself less patient, more irritable, and it seems clouded are my thoughts. Am I afraid of the future? Am I afraid of my path? I think perhaps I have become afraid to fail, and I have looked down at myself as a failure. The pull of the dark side is strong and it takes a considerable amount of effort to maintain a steady path. While I am not sure what tomorrow will bring, I have to consider and maintain that life isn’t always as clear-cut and black and white as it used to be. Life can be complicated, but in that complication rests the assurance that no matter where we go, or what we encounter God is with us. It isn’t easy separating ourselves from the world. It isn’t easy looking at ourselves through a different lens then that of the world view. The world teaches young girls how they should look and dress. The world teaches young boys about gangster lives, and how to treat a woman. Mothers raise children alone. The world teaches young girls about their self worth, but the same goes for young boys struggling to find their value. 

Our value can be found in Christ, but there are a lot of pitfalls in this world. There are a lot of things pulling attention and those competitors can be a strong pull to the dark side. The influences that come from this world can and often do cloud our Christian view and if we aren’t careful we can fall into a pit of false doctrine, secular ideas, and we can loose ourselves in the world, and fall away from the light. 

We are all valuable to our Lord, and will never find fulfillment in this world apart from Christ. We have to remain vigilant in our studies with the gift the Lord gave us. I sometimes need to be reminded that the world does not dictate who I am. The people in my life who come and go do not account for my value. Peoples opinions do not always line up with scripture, but no matter what side of the fence you are on, we are all sinners. Sin while a wide scope can be tricky to handle. Worldviews can be dug in to a persons psyche and their personality. Life is not easy and life is certainly not simple. Delicate is the path of the light side. We do not want to push people away, but also don’t want people to be led astray by the world. We ourselves do not want to be led off course by a secular worldview. Have faith in the Holy Spirit to guide you. Let it flow through you, around you and fill you up. The Holy Spirit is all around us and will guide us if we allow it too. Trust in it, and stay away from the lure of societies worldviews. 

A Year Looking Back 2019

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A Year Looking Back 2019

Well, the year is over. It’s been a long road, and with some tears, with some laughs, and everything in between, life has continued to move forward as one would expect. When I started back to school I wasn’t sure I’d be able to finish, but here I am, a year later, and finished as strong as I could. Relationships have come and gone, and some have grown stronger, and others, not so much. 

I can’t say this year has been overly eventful. I think if anything, the biggest thing is my graduating from school, and I’m back to teaching. I think as far as change, those are the most prominent. 

I want to share some notes, just a couple things I have been thinking about. Instead of writing out an entire new post, I would share the lesson notes from this recent Sunday. 

New Years Lesson 

  • We all look back over the year and wish we could take back things that happened. We wish we could have more of what we want, but mostly we look to the the new year with hope and optimism, and of course the dreaded new years resolutions.
  • Who Are you now, verses who are you a year ago? 
  • If you want to be a new you, you have to make those changes. 
  • Matthew 6:22-23 “The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
  • We must be cautious with what we spend out time with. What we view, watch, listen too, and even the company we keep may alter our own behavior. 

Matthew 6:25-34 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

  • The Lord will be with you this year. Every January first is a new year, a fresh start. Ask for forgiveness, 

Psalm 25:18 “Look on my affliction and my pain, And forgive all my sins.”

Psalm 32:5 I acknowledged my sin to You,
And my iniquity I have not hidden.
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”
And You forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah

  • It’s the perfect time to repent of the years sins, and prepare your soul for the next year. 
  • Where your yes rest is where your heart will be.

Matthew 6:19-21 “19 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; 20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

  • We spend so much time worrying about what’s next, worrying about life. 

Luke 6:22-23 : 22 Blessed are you when men hate you,

And when they exclude you,

And revile you, and cast out your name as evil,

For the Son of Man’s sake.

23 Rejoice in that day and leap for joy!

For indeed your reward is great in heaven,

For in like manner their fathers did to the prophets.

  • IF you’re going to make a resolution, make one to trust God. If you’re going to make a resolution be resolute in your faith. Be resolute in your ability to stand tall with God behind you. Be resolute to protect your mind, your soul from the world. Be resolute to let go of yesterday. Lay down that rock and leave it at the foot of the cross. Do not carry burdens that are not meant you to carry. Let God have them, all your worries, your burdens, your hurt. Start off this new year fresh. 

The Journeyman

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The Journeyman 

I don’t know exactly where I am, or where I am going. As I have been reflecting on my life, I find myself stumbling. The road has been long, and now that the high of graduating is wearing off, the holidays are here, and I guess you could say I have the holiday blues. Do we trust ourselves? Do we trust how we feel? Is what we feel the truth, or is it a momentary stumbling block? 

I think Christianity is a journey and on that journey someone discovers many truths. I’m not referring to the truth of Christ being the one and only way to the Father, but rather the truths that stream from the ebb and flow of who we are. Our selves are determined by the cells and genes that make up the physical aspects, but the environment shapes our minds. On this journey I have fallen down, and as of late, the depressive struggle has been very real for me. The days have come and gone since the many years ago I started down this road. In all reality I have looked to the world for answers, I have looked to scripture for answers, and still I find myself seeking something, and I don’t recognize myself in the mirror. There’s something to be said for not knowing who you are. When you don’t know who you are that means you can be molded. So many years ago I looked into the mirror and I didn’t know who I was. Many years ago I wrote a paper and I recalled writing this “You’re not worth anything. Why do you even get up in the morning?” (Fateful Night). I truly believed I wasn’t worth anything, and in all this time I have wondered who am I? I am the clay and Jesus is the potter. If Jesus is that interested in me, then I must be someone. Jesus has the whole universe at his disposal and billions of people, trillions of lifeforms, and out of all of that, Jesus loves and is still working on me. Head knowledge and heart knowledge don’t always talk to one another in the most reasonable of ways. 

There’s so much in life that is complicated, and yet, simple at the same time. I’ve been looking for my place in the world since my wife left me three years ago. I’ve been trying to figure out what it was God was calling me to do. Over the years I’ve had my ups and downs, but I know that God is working with me. Is my place to help others? IS my place to preach the good word to others? Is my place to help others find their path? Is my place being a photographer, a writer, both? Is my place counseling other people? 

If you’ve wondered where your place is in this world, have no fear, Jesus is near. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall [a]direct your paths.” 

While I have no idea where God is leading me I know that the Lord will direct my path. Sometimes the path is long, because it takes time to make our courage strong. (hard love) 

Psalm 37:23-24 “The steps of a good man are [a]ordered by the Lord,

And He delights in his way. 24 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;

For the Lord upholds him with His hand.” 

Just because we don’t know the destination doesn’t mean we need to know right now. Just because we might seem lost, doesn’t mean we have anything to fear. We should not fear the destination, or the journey. Scripture teaches us that we are not given a spirit of fear, but one of hope and courage. 

Isaiah 41:10 NKJV “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” 

2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV) 7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 

In this journey we will face trials, we face hardships, and sometimes we face a measure of uncertainty, but in every day, we know that we have a place to send our fearful thoughts. 

Psalm 56:3 (NKJV) 3 “Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.” 

Who am I? I’m a child of the King, I am wonderfully made and I know that in my times of fear, I know where I can put it. It’s okay to not know where we are headed, but we should not be afraid of the journey. This is a long journey, one with many ups and downs, and even when the storms come, shelter under the wings of the Angels. 

Who am I supposed to be, and what am I supposed to do? I think perhaps I am a hiker, and instead of worrying about the destination, I spend some time to take a look around where I’m at and enjoy the scenery right here where I am. What about you? Where are you, where are you going, and who do you want to be? Enjoy the adventure of life, and try not to stress over the things we can’t control, which is just about everything. Control what you can, let go of the rest, and enjoy the ride. 

WHO AM I?

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Who Am I? 

In retrospect I have often called myself something specific. I called myself a soldier, a Cavalry Scout, a husband, a security officer, a chaplain, but as one by one those things have faded away I have found myself asking ‘who am I’?  In retrospect I spent years defining myself since I left the military as one thing or another. As each position has faded into memory I have consistently found myself trying to reinvent myself over and over again. So, who am I now, truthfully I don’t really know. As tonight was my last night as a student seeking his undergraduate degree, it’s met with a bitter sweet night. 

While celebrating I reached out to someone, I thought would have been happy for me. I reached out to someone that, though there had been troubled times, I felt they would have been more enthusiastic and happy for me. I couldn’t have been further from the truth. In fact instead of congratulating me I was met with hostility, and hurtful words. I know I shouldn’t listen, but a part of me thinks I deserved it. So, what am I? 

Today, I see myself as a failed soldier, a failed husband, a failed chaplain, a failed security officer, and through all those failures I don’t know what I am today, except for broken. For years I knew there was something wrong, that something had gone awry. As I sit here listening to Christmas music, Silent Night by Lindsey Stirling I am reminded that Jesus the Son of God, born 2000 years ago came for the sinners, the saints, the wealthy, the poor, the healthy, and the dying. I realize that Jesus came for me. I am not a perfect man, and when I’ve made mistakes, I’ve tried to fix them. I have never intended to hurt someone, and I’ve never done so out of spite. Sadly, I have to admit I have been on the receiving end. 

Going forward I don’t know where I’m going, or what I’m going to do. I don’t know where my path is, or what God has planned for me. A part of me wonders if what was said tonight is true, and if it is, I wonder if I should consider where that may take me. Christmas is coming and with it the new year. Can I wipe away all the wrongs this year and start fresh in 2020? I believe that with God nothing is impossible. I believe that God can break through the hardened of hearts. I believe that God can heal the brokenness of peoples hearts. I believe that God values someone who wants to redeem themselves. I believe that I am worth being redeemed. I believe I am valued if not by the person from earlier, then by Jesus. I believe there are people who value me. I believe there are people who love me and want me to succeed in this life. Who, am I? I don’t know, but I know I am a child of the King. Who am I? I’m royalty adopted by the blood of Christ to inherit an eternal Kingdom. I may not know my purpose in this life right now, and while my heart feels like it’s broken, and my feelings have been hurt, I trust in the healing power of Jesus. Who am I? I’m a broken man in need of fixing. I’m someone who has lived and survived through so much. I am a survivor and will continue to do so. I’m someone who’s experienced much hardships, much trauma and so much loss, but I am not a victim, I’m a survivor. I cannot loose faith in that love that Jesus gives to me. I may not know where I’m going but Jesus does. If I am to survive this, I need to trust Jesus and trust that he will take care of my tomorrow, my today, and he will guide me. No matter where I find myself “Psalm 23”, the river, the meadow, or the valley, I am protected by the Holy Spirt. I am loved and that’s who I am. 

Three Years After

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Three Years After

It’s been there years since I suffered a near fatal gunshot wound. Every day I’m reminded of the wound by either pain in my shoulder, or a scar that itches. No matter the time that goes by, I am truly blessed every day that the Lord of all spared me and changed my life. Jesus Christ has shaped my life and even when my day is hard, or emotional, I know that Jesus is still in control over the storm. 

Three years later I went from a breaking man, to a man still as sinful, but now I see how much more I need Jesus. I tried for so long to do it myself, even though I was a believer, even though I had accepted Christ, the difference was I still felt I could manage my life my way. I found out the hard way how wrong I truly was. 

The difference now is how I live my life. While I still have days that I struggle, I find peace knowing that even in the worst of days, I’m not alone. Since the worst day I’ve experienced, I have come a long way on my road. I’m about to finish up my degree. I have met a wonderful lady who is completely supportive of me. I have begun teaching more at church. I have even sung a song at church, taking myself way out of my comfort zone. I am still working on myself daily, and hopefully each day I am a little closer to paradise.

Sadly some things cannot change all for the positive. I have lost friends and I have watched people push me away while I was just trying to help. It’s sad to watch these things happen, but the ebb and flow of life is such. Sometimes you win some and sometimes you lose some. 

Matthew 11:28-30  (NKJV) 28 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am [a]gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

I have found myself struggling to keep moving forward. I find myself feeling sluggish in the morning. I have no desire to do much of anything through my day. I am not sure if I’m working through depression, laziness, or something else. 

Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV)31 “But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.”

No matter how hard it’s been lately, I realize that I need to hold the sword of truth. I need to maintain my Armor of God, and keep raising my sword with the strength God gives me. God has blessed me and has continued to do so. I am blessed with an amazing best friend. I am blessed with an amazing woman, Argie in my life. I am blessed with a mother who tries incredibly hard. I am blessed to have my amazing dogs Riley and Cooper. I am blessed that my needs are provided for. I hold the master sword of truth in my hands. Gods word is the infallible truth.

Joy In The Valley

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Joy In The Valley

We all have our struggles in this life. Most people don’t get through this life without some kind of trauma or loss. While not everyone will experience a terrorist attack, or war, or a natural disaster, we all find ourselves in a valley of some kind. For me I have experienced war, and loss, and extreme hardships. There’s no doubt we have our cross to bear. There’s no doubt that at some point we will find ourselves in the valley, the biggest question is what do we do when we get there? I have a keychain that hangs on my backpack that says “I will choose to enjoy the journey that God has set before me.” This doesn’t mean that the only joy is in the good times. The quote is means when we are in the valley to find the joy in God’s plan. The path before us sometimes covered in the storms, the wind, the darkness, and scary times. In those deepest of valleys, it’s then we must turn to the Lord. When we are at the highest mountain tops, we must sing praises to the Lord. 

When we are walking through this life the fire is hot but like Daniels friends we will not be burned if we have fervent faith in the Lord. While anything we face is within God’s will to stop or allow, we must understand that at no time are we experiencing anything outside of God’s sovereign will, or control. God will forever, as he always has, and always will work every situation good, bad and ugly for the purposes of light rather than darkness. Light cannot be snuffed out by darkness and since God waists nothing we must remember that everything we experience can be used for a positive purpose later.  We may not understand the reason, but we need to remember that not everything tough situation is a lesson for us to learn from, but perhaps someone within our orbit we may never know or consider. Because we never know who may be watching, we must remember to always maintain who we are in Christ. We must always maintain our walk with the Lord because we will be judged by others on our actions. We as Christians are called to live differently than the world, and sadly often times we live just the same as the world does, filled with anger, hate, and discontent. We CHRISTIANS are called to be different than that of the world. We are called to stand above the darkness and not to be consumed or influenced by it. 

I have walked through the valley, I have faced death, and I have experienced hardships, and I will be the first to say, I’ve not always lived my best self. I have not always kept my temper. I have not always kept my cool. I have not always said the right thing. I have not always done the right thing, and I will one day have to answer for those sins. I will have to answer for everything I’ve ever done or said, and I will have no one to blame but myself. When I’m in the valley, I cannot ever blame someone else for putting me there because it’s not about where I am, it’s how I handle each situation in which I find myself. Not every bad situation is self-inflicted, but some are. Some experiences good or bad are of our own doing, and we need to remember we do sometimes control the bad things in our life. If we make a conscious choice to do drugs we must remember that drugs come with a risk, a mind altering state in which scripture warns against. When we choose to take steps into a relationship in which everyone else warns, yet we move into them anyway, we cannot expect a positive outcome. When we choose to stay with someone who cheats regularly, we cannot expect that person to change their ways. When we choose to allow the world to take our focus away from God, we cannot expect our lives to go well because when we try to lead our own train, we don’t truly know how to drive, and we are likely to drive our self off the cliff. As the song says, “Jesus Take The Wheel”, we need to remember God is the architect and we need to allow Him to build us because he has the blueprint. 

Because God knows the plans he has for us, and the worst thing that could ever happen has already happened, why then do we fret over the everyday stuff? I’m not saying the worlds events don’t affect you, but we often get so wrapped up in worry, and doubt, grief, and sorrow, and sadly more often then not, stuck in anger. We need to remember that God is in control, and nothing in this world, not one single thing we experience can take our salvation from us. The worst thing that could happen to us is we die. For those who believe in Christ, we are promised the way, the path, the light of the world gifting us eternal salvation with the Father of the Universe. Why do we worry so much about everything in our life? It doesn’t matter how deep that valley is, or how bleak life is, the Lord knows what’s just around our river bend, so why are we of such little faith? Joy is found no matter the circumstance we find ourselves, joy in this world for we live for the Lord, and in the Lord sometimes we will find ourselves in that valley. The life we live is never promised to be easy, because the rewards are beyond our comprehensions. A lifetime in eternal perfection awaits us, and all we have to do is carry the cross, follow Christ, and accept that we are nothing without our savior. Give up the wheel and trust in God. Know that Jesus Christ is the only way, and we have joy no matter where we are because Christ is with us here, there and everywhere. Christ is with us in the box, with a fox. He’s with us in the house, and with the mouse. He’s with us, here, there and he is with us anywhere. Christ is with us Sam I am, he’s with us always. 

Prayers Through The Night

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Prayers Through The Night 

The days are long but nights are the longest yet. The storms do blow, the trees bend and break. We hear the crack outside, and the light that flashes in the eye. We feel the fear in the night, but let me say to you, hold on a little longer. The nights wrought with the storm but it’s only a little while. This season you’re in won’t last forever. Hold on a little longer, for Jesus is coming, he’s on his way, have you invited him to come? Have you called the great rescuer into your life? Have you put your hope in Christ Jesus?  

Don’t be dismayed for you’re loved by our savior Jesus Christ! The burden you carry is not yours to do so. Our burden is to live in Christ. Our faith is our great burden. Christ died to take the burden of the cross, the sentence of death, yet he overcame. He overcame and washed us, each and every one of us. The faith we have is that knowing our chains in the bondage of sin are forever removed. We have the storms but have peace knowing for all things are worked together for the good and glory of God.  

In my life I have spent many nights awake not sure if I could make it through. Many nights I have wondered how it was that I could be so hated, so despised by God to allow me to go through so much pain and suffering in my life. I struggled so many nights as my tears wet my pillows. I found myself angry, and hating myself for feeling so weak. I bury my face in the pillow and scream at God. I was so young when my struggles started, and I remember many nights wishing I’d die in my sleep. I spent many weeks cursing God for allowing me to be born. I tried for years to be a good person. I tried for many years to be someone that anyone would be proud of, that I would be seen as someone with value. Yet for all those many years I found myself living every day in the storm. 

Since my time so far removed from the younger me I now realize for many years I was either being forged in fire, or tortured by the Devil. No matter which I now know since God will waist nothing in my life, I can use that pain now in my life. The storms will continue to roll, and I will continue to face struggles and trials, but what’s important is my foundation is set and I have come to build my life on Christ. I will live through the storms, the wind, the rain, but I will survive them all. See, God loved us before he met us. He loved us since before we were formed in our mothers whom. He has waited for us to be born, to love us, to cherish us, to have a relationship with us. God loved us so much, his own son died to give us eternal life. We are loved beyond measure, and no hurt we suffer, not even the tiniest sliver that pierces our skin doesn’t also hurt our Abba Father. We are loved so recklessly by our Father, and we are given so much, how could we not live a grateful life? There is no amount of pain we can endure that would ever live up to the pain Christ suffered for us. The price to eternity was high, and the price paid freely by our savior Jesus Christ. Now Christ lives, the spirit is with us every day, and even when we are in the deepest of valley’s the highest of mountains, we have Christ with us hand in hand. We need to hold on because we aren’t holding out for a Hero, the one and only Hero we’d ever need is already here. Christ is here and we just need to hold on because he will get us through any obstacle we face. We need to be ready to battle the forces of darkness every day because every day they test our defenses and every day the storms billow against the shield of grace Jesus has placed around us. 

We can go the distance because we survive the night. We fight the fight and we run the race and all the while are protected by God’s grace. We shall never fall without God knowing. We shall never be alone and we will always have hope no matter how dark the night seems to be. 

It’s Time To Come Back

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It’s Time To Come Back

Truth be told I’ve felt like I’ve been gone for a long time. I feel like I’ve been trapped in a solitary cell for months. I have felt disconnected for months from everyone. The voices are heard everyday, and even responses flow from between my lips, but I dare say my hearts not been in it. I’ve been trying to figure out what’s wrong with me, but alas, months later and I still don’t know. Despite writing for months, and having a third of a notebook full of future blog posts, I’ve not put fingers to the keyboard to write very much. One major issue is the homework I’ve had, and when I’m not doing that or volunteering at church, or volunteering with the EChaps, I just want to sit down and do nothing. I suppose that’s not surprising but the truth is, wading in the stagnant water I feel I’ve become old and no longer relevant. I’ve gotten into buying stuff on a fairly regular basis. The excitement and the endorphins when I get to open something new, and oogle at it for a while, but the high wares off quickly, and I’m back on Amazon searching for something new I just gotta have. Truth is, I’m masking a lot of what’s going on deep down with stuff in my life. The more I try to squeeze my way into a group the more I feel alone. The more I try to reach out and make new friends, I feel alone. I have not been in scripture as much these days without my everyday blog post. It could be that I was with Jesus so often and so long every day the short while each day isn’t as much as I was used too, and I long for it. If I’m spewing more truth from my fingertips and my tiny little brain, I’d say I am extraordinarily lonely. I don’t really do well in large crowds, but the one on one I long for just isn’t there. The guys from my old Job are not around much anymore. The social group I used to spend time with seems to be largely dissolved and has left me back where I started so many years ago, on the couch, with my phone and a computer. I tried to get into a group at church but nothing’s filled out. I started spending time with the youth and thought the adults there would be a good group to get to know, and at the same time get to know the kids. While part of that has and is currently happening, getting to be apart of the regular adult group has left much to be desired. I think I’m liked and respected, but that’s not the same as being accepted as a friend. 

Recently I received an open invitation from my best friend to go to lunch after church on Sunday’s, but somehow I feel like I’m intruding. I feel like I’m an outside trying to squeeze my way into a family unit that’s been a family for over a decade. I don’t think it’s far from the truth. So all this said, I have no idea what to do with myself. I have no idea where to go from here, and I long for Rg to come here and start our life together. I feel like my life’s in this long overdue holding pattern. I remember when I was in Iraq in a C-130 flying over Baghdad, when there was a storm on the ground we’d have to circle for a while for the storm to move on. Life has been that way for a while for me, flying in circles not gaining any ground in my life, just waiting above it all for the storm to pass. Well, I am sad to announce, I’m still in a holding pattern. 

Yesterday something strange happened to me. I was at Walmart with my mother (which is no where near strange), but she was approached by a women who claimed to know her from about 3-4 years ago. She claimed mom prayed with her at Church when she was in need. Listening to the women’s story about what’s been going on, and her struggles as of late. At the end of the discussion I offered (being the chaplain) to pray for her and her situation. When we got home Mom asked me if I felt weird praying in the middle of Walmart openly like that. I told her had it been a few years prior it would have been very weird for me, but these days it doesn’t feel weird at all. I supposed when I take a minute to think about it, I guess that’s growth. With all my Bible lessons complete through church, my classes in college that required scriptural uses, and with such a little bit of time working on my blog, I feel like I haven’t been moving forward or growing in my spiritual walk. I was hopping for classes to continue as I hope for Ordination, but life gets in the way, and now, I’m not sure what’s going to happen with that either. I wonder what I’m being tested on. I have been asking God to show me what I’m supposed to do, and the more I wonder, the more I feel the lesson itself is in patience. As things with Rg have been put on hold due to the tragic loss of her father, and a busy season (as if there were non busy seasons) at church, I have found myself twiddling my thumbs. The one thing that’s been getting me excited is VBS (Vacation Bible School) at church, and the fact I have 30 minutes to preach in July. These days, I’ll take what I can get. A couple weeks ago I was preaching (having a discussion) about Jesus and love, and life, and life over abortion, and I felt the Holy Spirit on me, even though I was frustrated to be in the situation I was in. I have no idea if my words held or meant anything, but I pray somewhere along the line those who heard me look at life a little differently. I know God is putting me where I need to be when I need to be there, but I have been wondering what I have to do to grow up. What do I have to do to be doing something meaningful in my life? I don’t want to feel like I am wasting my time, but in some ways I feel that’s what I’m doing. I know I need to finish school, but when I’m not doing that, I feel drawn to be making more of a difference. Even when I wasn’t getting feedback on my blog posts, I felt somehow I was making a difference in the peoples lives who read them. I guess, what I’m getting at in this long drawn out life update is, no matter what you’re going through, troubles, heartache, joy, happiness, unexpected pregnancy, loss in the family, or whatever the case may be, follow God and He will never leave you astray. Jesus loves you and is always walking with you. No matter if you’re in the hills, the valleys, the sunshine or the darkness, Jesus is always there. Am I still worthy of God’s love? ALWAYS! The question is, can I remind myself that I am still worthy, and even when I feel far away, I am still worthy of God’s love.