Tag: christian

Throat punched

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Throat punched
So as I sit here with my neck in a brace, when I talk not only do I sound it, I feel like I’ve been throat punched. Yes that’s what happens when you have surgery. But let me tell you. I couldn’t be more lucky. Gods grace and perfect timing all the time. 
There were complications in surgery. My disc ruptured and fluid went into my spinal column. They cleaned it up but I needed to be closely watched. There may have been some hematoma around my incision. 
Thankfully the rupture was found and didn’t do permanent damage. In all the CT’s, the risky MRI (because of shrapnel in my lung) not one of these scans showed the disk had ruptured. As I’m not a doctor I cannot obviously speak clearly of the dangers of that fluid where it doesn’t belong. But I do know it’s BAD! 
Because Gods perfect in His timing and love everything went well even with the complications. Even the new raspier voice I have just plays into effect when I wear the mask. All things considered I’m pretty darn happy. 
Yesterday I couldn’t squeeze my ball and now I can squeeze it with all my might and it’s beautiful. I can walk with my head held high and arms swinging. Gods touched my body through the hands of my surgeons and have given me my life back. I may have some troubles the rest of my life but for now, it seems all of that is within acceptable limits. 
Believe in the power of prayer and love. From the prayer shawl I received from my church, the love of my Associate Pastor, my mom, and everyone near and far that prayed for me before during and after my surgery. All this prayer I have felt the reward. I know I live on to fight the Devil for another day. 
For you all wary souls like my one was, take heart knowing the Lord of all the wonders of this world is with you, right there suffering your sufferings. Believe and know the faithful, the just, the kind, will be rewarded. We may not always say or do the right things to one another but we must know it and apologize for it. Own up to our mistakes and ask for the forgiveness we should. 
Stay connected to God and be blessed by his touch. God bless all of you! 

Glory

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Glory 
My heart is torn, it’s broken and battered. I try and fight I try to stand tall and continue fighting but days like today when I feel I can’t take anymore, a reminder of Gods plan and how it can shape our future in an instant reminded me that nothing in the future is set till it happens. 
Faith in the Lord above isn’t always easy. In times we are at our lowest the moment of truth often comes quick and when we least expect it. Do we choose the path of God, trust in him even when we can’t see path. We must learn to trust in the Lord even when that path seems full of dangerous vipers, scorpions, pitfalls, and other dangerous traps. Faith in God isn’t for the easygoing, it can be tough even for the most devout. But keep fighting the fight because Glory last forever. 

The Improvised

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The improvised 
Sitting here in the ER alone as I’ve sent mom home to rest, gather supplies, and get ready for the long day, I find myself pondering what I guess most people ponder when looking at a life altering surgery. Who are my loved ones, who cares who doesn’t? Is my Will complete and dang did I leave the stove on? I am reminded of so many one liners but I’ll spare all of you the boring repartee and just know that I haven’t forgotten about my avid readers. I may be out for the day, but as long as I have a phone I’ll still work my guru magic and post something. 
While I was here I was able to doodle a little something and while it’s not finished because as you’ll all see I’m no artist, I haven’t lost sight of my goal. I will continue to work on my ministries and with Gods grace continue to touch lives. So as I get ready for what looks so far to be surgery, back surgery it is. While the surgeons are deliberating and I’m going on almost 24 hours awake, I’m reminded of some bible verses. 
1 Peter 1:6-7 “6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: 7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:”
Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.”
We may have setback and we may have plans that go off the rails but even in the darkest of days the brightest of flowers may still bloom. 

Love Unconditional

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Love Unconditional

I’ve been putting a lot of thought into the word love. What does it mean to love something? When we think of love we think of our parents, siblings, closest friends, but we also think of our favorite show, our favorite food, our favorite pass time activity. The truth is in our society today the word just gets tossed around flippantly. The truth is, I think love is something that when we loose the object of our affection it breaks us apart inside. When we are dating in school we often throw the word around love and sure I don’t want to downplay those emotions, but the proof is in the pudding, often times that’s just puppy love and something we get over pretty quick once it’s gone. True love however is something a little more difficult to come by. The Bible has a pretty air tight description of love, and when we look at our lives, and we compare it to this, the comparisons are often going to leave you realizing, maybe it’s not love after all. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.” Now I know what you’re thinking, yes I am talking about love, and yes so is 1 Corinthians. “Charity is the epitome of perfection in the Christian life. It is the “greatest” of the three abiding virtues” (http://www.learnthebible.org/charity-or-love.html) If we look at the definition of love, and compare it to what we say to others, are we actually in line with scripture, or just a word we use because we don’t know anything better to say?

Lets make it easier to understand a little. When you look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” How often in our own lives do we drudge up mistakes our partner made 2 years ago? How often do we hold a grudge, and for how long? How often do we love but only so long as we are worldly happy? There is so much in our lives today that draw us away from love. So much today that we don’t understand, but if we go to Scripture, if we study, we can finally unravel the strongest of lies, and the strongest of truths. John 15:13 “13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Jesus, Jesus laid down His perfect life as a perfect blemish less, sinless man that chose to be tortured, ridiculed, and murdered for us, for every single last one of us that in no way by our daily actions deserve such grace and mercy. The truth is, that’s LOVE. When we think about that kind of love, makes what we say about love look silly. How often do we see now in our world today divorce is a cancer on our society, and it runs unchecked destroying homes left and right. We see marriage as expendable, as an option that so long it benefits me, so long as I am getting something out of it, I’ll stay married. THE QUESTION I ASK TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU, WHAT ARE YOU GIVING IN YOUR MARRIAGE? If we look a little deeper we see what the definition of love is, we see what is says in John, but what about husbands and wives? Ephesians 5:25 “25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,” Yes that means you are supposed to love your wives so much that you sacrifice unconditionally to her. You sacrifice yourself to give her everything she needs. Note I said need, not want. The difference between need and want is an entirely separate blog.

Husbands, need to sacrifice worldly things, worldly desires, worldly distractions for his wife. Ephesians 5:22-24 “22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Many people look at this section of scripture and scoff, and I really question why that is. I get the feminist movement, and women can do anything a man can do and all that stuff, and that’s great, but the truth is, women and men aren’t the same. We are wired differently in the brains, we have different strengths and weaknesses, and this isn’t talking about slavery this is talking about letting go of ones worldly self. Letting go of the fleshy desires, and allowing yourself to be completely taken in by your husband. As the husband loves the wife as he died for us, so shall the husband die for his wife. Think about this, when we get married, we often think of it as the old ball in chain, the tying of the knot, the end or death of an era. Well, in some parts yes, that’s exactly what it is. But if we look at death as a bad thing, a negative thing, sure we will be going into that marriage under negative premise and then that’s where the problems start to set in. Death is a glorious thing, a wonderful thing, because as a Christian we believe that death of us is the gateway to an eternal life of perfection and love. If we are to truly love our wives, love our husbands we must allow the old part of us to die off. Think of love and marriage like a butterfly. The caterpillar is you before you get married. The marriage is the cocoon. When you emerge married that fuzzy old caterpillar is gone, fundamentally changed into a beautiful creature no longer bound to crawl around, but to soar, to fly, to be a wonder of nature.

How wonderful it would be if we actually saw marriage that way. How wonderful it would be if we as a people were able to see ourselves and combining our selves into one body and actually selflessly giving up our selves and wanting only to please our partner. To those who are struggling in your marriages, I offer this, in all things God can heal, and with work, and saying it a hundred times, a thousand times, I forgive you, forgive the wrongs your partner has done. Remember the way you felt the day you got married and realize if both of you, if both the Husband and the Wife learn to forgive, learn to accept, learn to change because marriage is a fundamental change. You are no longer you, you become y’all. When we loose sight of the togetherness, the us in the marriage and we start to focus on the me, start to focus on the what does Arrow Preacher want, we loose sight of the (what) can I do for my spouse? What can I do to bring happiness to my beloved today? Human greed is one of the strongest sins to pull us back into the world, but two are stronger then one. Pouring of sand of two different colors into a jar that sand can never be completely separated. There’s reason sand if often used in marriage ceremonies. It’s a constant visual reminder that once together, you shall never break apart, bonded into one entity, one jar, and as rope is stronger when woven together, so shall you be stronger when you come to realize the true definition of love, the true understanding of what Scripture is talking about, and let go of your worldly sins, those desires that draw you away from your spouse. The Devil wants to break up marriage because he’s been doing it since the beginning. Marriage was the plan, for man to not be alone, and he knows that separated the divide and concur makes for an easier target. Don’t take the bait. Don’t allow Satan to ruin your union. Fight back, and fight for each other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Regret

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Regret

In our lives we make decisions that in hindsight weren’t so good. We also make great decisions that can change our lives forever. It’s the one moment where life has fallen apart around you, the moment you can’t see the next breath you take, you can’t take a single step forward, life has stopped and the world looks like it’s moving around you at near light speed. The moment when all hope is lost, and the decision you make seems like the right one, but what if there was a way to move that step forward, what if I told you there was hope, and there is a next breath, would that change your mind for the next catastrophe in your life?

For many veterans and civilians who’ve gone through trauma getting stuck in that moment is all too common. When we get stuck we go through our days only a shell of who we used to be. We eat, we work, we sleep, we may even contribute to the life around us, but we aren’t really there. The sludge of the weight of what we carry builds as we trek through the mud farther and farther. There will come a point when you have the black tar from your shoes up to your neck. At some point you won’t be able to move forward anymore. No matter what our event is, whether it’s the death of a loved one, the loss of a spouse, sexual assault, horrific car accident, fire, or even just a series of events that you have entered that hurts those around you. We often push away people we love because we don’t want them to see us in pain, we don’t want them to see us suffering. We push away to defend ourselves, and them, from potential damage. We don’t want to drag anyone down with us, and sometimes it’s because we just can’t see beyond our own pain.

Being pushed away by someone who’s going through a lot of pain is hard. Knowing you want to help, and feeling powerless is perhaps the most difficult position to ever be in. Seeing someone you care about in pain, seeing them walk down a dark path, and when all you want to do is take their pain away and shower them in love, yet you’re held away, and pushed and kicked out of their life, is heart breaking.

For each of our mistakes we see the other side of other peoples. When we know they are making a mistake all we can do is pray for them. All we can do is hope that one day they will turn around from the path they’re on and hopefully do so before anything to bad happens they can’t come back from. For me I gravitated to the song One Step Away by Casting Crowns:

 What if you could go back and relive one day of your life all over again
And unmake the mistake that left you a million miles away
From the you, you once knew
Now yesterday’s shame keeps saying that you’ll never get back on track
But what if I told you

You’re one step away from surrender
One step away from coming home, coming home
One step from arms wide open
His love has never let you go
You’re not alone
You’re one step away

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve gone
Mercy says you don’t have to keep running down the road you’re on
Love’s never met a lost cause
Your shame, lay it down
Leave your ghosts in the past ‘cause you know that you can’t go back
But you can turn around
You’ve never been more than

 We aren’t ever alone. This message goes out to my veteran brothers and sisters, we aren’t ever alone. We sit at home, we have the open bottle of beer or booze, and we seclude ourselves in the dark, thoughts screaming in our head. We can’t seem to get out of the way. This, is, torture. When we trained for war we trained as a team. When we get home we see that no one is there for us, no one understands, how could anyone, they weren’t there. The thing is, that’s all an elaborate lie by the Devil to separate us from the world, and break us down. It’s not true. There are plenty of other veterans out there struggling with their own replay of war. Something else I’ve learned is trauma is trauma no matter what kind. Sexual assault, loss of loved ones, fire, car accidents, none of that is exclusive to military. Sure firefights may be a bit more segregated, but that doesn’t mean people aren’t there for you. We have support groups, veterans groups, outreach programs, and so much more to help get us all back to a good healthy place.

We all have our regrets in life but one of the biggest battles we will ever face is facing those mistakes. Allowing ourselves to heal from them on the inside by forgiving ourselves, asking others to forgive us and showing true repentance for those mistakes. Philippians 3:13 “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but [this] one thing [I do], forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,” We must go forth to God and ask for forgiveness, but we also need to make it right, we need to attempt to right our wrongs. 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” One thing that I am reminded of is how easy it is to get off track. How often do we do a wrong based on how someone else wrongs us? We as Christians should hold ourselves to a higher standard, and not fall into the world expectations. We cannot allow the world to dictate how we react, or how we treat others. We mustn’t let the world tell us the lies we often feel when dealing with life’s tragedies. Isaiah 43:18-19 “18 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. 19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, [and] rivers in the desert.” We cannot know what our tomorrow brings, and we cannot know what surprises will be waiting for us just around the next bend in the road.

In all things in our life we should move forward with kindness in our hearts, forgiveness isn’t something to be earned, it’s something to be given freely. We can’t hold our forgiveness hostage like some kind of ransom is required to give it. If we are to live like Christ we must learn that people are sinful, people hurt others, we hurt them, and forgiveness isn’t always rebuilding the relationship if it’s lost. Christ forgave humanity for our sins despite the awful things we as a collective whole did to Him. We were not only forgiven for past and current sins, but future sins we might face in the future. 2 Corinthians 7:10 “10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.” When Judas betrayed Christ he could not get past his own grief and he took his own life by hanging. This is worldly sorrow. There is not repentance to be had, and no chance of redemption. We all Sin, we have make mistakes big and small. Even David a man of God’s own heart was not free from them. David was well known to be a fair man as a King, but he was a horrible husband and father. Psalm 51:1- 3 “51 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.”

 No matter how far we’ve fallen, there is always a way back. Even when it’s adulatory or other forms of betrayal. Proverbs 6:32-34 “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away. For jealousy makes a man furious, and he will not spare when he takes revenge.” A man shall not take revenge for himself, for revenge is not bringing harmony. Justice is for the Lord. Forgiveness is for man, asking for it, and giving it freely. Do not allow your life to come to the end and regret a multitude of things. Make right your wrongs, make right the harm you’ve cause, the pain you’ve inflicted. Seek forgiveness in others, beg for forgiveness of the Lord. Let go of your own pain, and do not carry that weight with you. If you continue to carry a weight like that around you cannot continue to God’s work when you have so much on your shoulders already. Allow God’s grace to fill you, let yourself see through God’s eyes, let yourself feel with God’s heart, and learn to let go of judgments, let go of your own sorrow. Do not allow yourself to be weighed down any longer.

We all have things in our life we wish we could take back, things we could change. We can’t ever retrieve something we’ve let slip from out mouths, undo an action, but we can attempt to make right what we’ve done. Don’t wait for tomorrow, start healing today. Let the weight of the world fall from your shoulders, and find a new way, a better way, a Godly way of dealing with life, and facing the trials ahead of you. Our way is never the way even if it’s easier sometimes the easy way isn’t the right way, sometimes the right way is the path less traveled. It’s our job as Christians to figure out the path God wants us to be on. When we don’t know the path to take we must turn to the scripture and pray about our path. Proverbs 18:13 “13 He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” Don’t make a decision without knowing as much of the facts as possible so be sure to not make foolish decisions. Don’t allow yourself to be fooled by fake or false information. Proverbs 18:15 “15 The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge.” When you think you know something, don’t be quick to pass judgement without gaining other perspectives and complete the story. Don’t take a story as true just on face value. Proverbs 18:15 “15 The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge.”

Knowing what to expect when problems comes up is one thing. Knowing how to respond is the second side of that coin. We must know that in our lives we will face problems, we will face trials, and in all of those trials we know that we must accept and rejoice in those times. James 1:2-4 “2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; 3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” If anyone out there is like me the WHY ME question comes up sometimes. We know that patience is something we all need more of, and in our trials we are often tasked with growing in our faith, draw closer to God and growing in patience. IF we learn how to respond to issues, we could very well have fewer regrets in our life. John 16:33“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” When standing on the beach of the ocean we do not stand with our backs to the waves (generally) because when the big one hits us we get knocked own. Instead we face the wave head on, and we brace for it. Knowing what Christ expects of us on how to handle our troubles, knowing how to handle heartbreak, and betrayals, we can minimize the damage and we can help prevent us from getting into as much trouble.

We won’t always make all the right choices all the time, we won’t always handle every situation the best we can, we are human, we are driven by sin nature, and thus we will undoubtedly make mistakes. It’s in those mistakes however we know how to seek forgiveness, and seek repentance when they do occur. It’s in those mistakes, those hardships that our true character is placed on display. We find out more about ourselves through our trials then when things are always a batch of roses. Just remember that even the prettiest of roses have thorns. Seek God for the answers to your troubles, and seek God to the direction of your path. You may not be able to get rid of regret, but you can minimize its impact.

 

 

Cut Away What’s Dead

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Cut Away What’s Dead

When you prune a plant often times you need to cut away the dead leaves or limbs because the stuff that’s dying is pulling needed nutrition from the healthy parts of the plan. “When a forest grows too wild, a purging fire is inevitable and natural.” Ra’s Al Gul The purging fires in nature are needed from time to time to cut away what’s dead and give birth to new and green.

In our lives we know people who come and go, we have people who may only be in our lives for a short while before it’s time to cut them loose. Some people in your life become toxic and it’s tough to let go of those whom you Love, even when the people you love may be bad news. James 1:8 “8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” Sometimes when we know someone the most, or even love, they may actually be, eventually, the person that needs to be cut away. Sometimes cutting away someone we love may feel like cutting off one of our own limbs. This however again, is sometimes what’s most needed in our lives.

In my own life I have held on because of fear and struggles to release those in my life that I with all of my heart loved. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they are good for you. As I have fought the fight to keep up relations as possible I have come to realize that in my efforts to preserve what I was holding onto, I have infested myself with considerable heartbreak and more pain and more suffering day in and day out. I have become a glutton for punishment as I have continued to try and see the good in people, but as I’ve done this my whole life I have come to realize now I cannot do this to myself any longer.

There are a few ways I believe we can cut things from our lives that do us harm.

 

  1. Leaving the door open as an option, but keeping distance and only allowing the door option as a last resort. There must be significant change and we don’t want to write someone off because God can fix anything, but we can’t just open the door blindly. We must look through the small peephole before opening that door to make sure who we are letting inside our home. Keeping your distance must be done. This means no calls, no texts, no emails, no Facebook stalking, no gathering Intel through friends or family. You must truly remove yourself from the equation and allow yourself to be free of the poison that ails you.
  2. Choose God before bad. Matthew 7:15 “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.” When we continue to allow those wolves to infiltrate our lives, dictate terms within our lives, we must ask ourselves what happens when we are in the war with wolves. One thing I hadn’t thought about until now is distraction. When we listen to God we are often placed in the right place when we need to be at the right time. However, if we are focused on the wolves, if we are focused on things that bring us pain and suffering, we cannot hear God, we cannot see the path when our own tears blind us.
  3. Fight the fight and bring into the fold. We must always remember that grace is not for us to give alone. We must always remember to forgive freely; forgiveness isn’t something to be earned. Love isn’t something that is lost because we don’t stop just because they become an enemy. Luke 10:3 “Go your ways: behold, I send you forth as lambs among wolves.” We know that as we spend time with the wolves we may get bit from time to time. This would be an occupational hazard. This doesn’t stop you from the mission. Everyone has the potential to redemption, and our mission is to continue to spread the Gospel no matter how good, or bad we see someone as. It’s not our place to pass judgment, it’s our job to keep everyone on the same platform and let God pass the judgment.

 

Everyone deserves the chance and the right to change. Everyone deserves the right to make up for past wrongs. This however doesn’t need to be given freely. Just because someone is deserved the right to change, doesn’t mean that trust has to be given blindly, and doesn’t mean people don’t have to earn the trust we give them. We may have to work for it ourselves sometimes, but nothing worth having in life comes without something in return. Our freedom comes at a price. Jesus died for the sins of all the people of the earth, but we have to burn away our old selves and we have to fight back against the sinful nature. This can sometimes be hard, but as nothing in this world worth while is easy, the challenge is to let go of worldly desires, let go of what weighs us down and blinds us from God’s plan for us.

Release the weights that hold you down. Do not allow yourself to be pulled under the water by the dead weight. Do not allow yourself be choked by the weeds growing up around you. Every now and again purging fire must happen. Never easy for us to let go of things we care about, possibly the hardest thing we may ever do in our lives. Eyes wide open to God, and don’t loose sight of the forest through the trees.

 

 

 

 

How Do We Mend A Broken Heart? 

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How Do We Mend A Broken Heart? 

After 9 months of trying deeply to let go of the pain inside it has a habit of coming back strong and stronger. The feeling inside my chest, the emptiness that resides like a sledgehammer pounding on my chest and insides day in and day out. It never relents and as each day begins with a breath, the empty bed, the darkness, the quiet room all breaks my heart over and over.

The simple truth is I don’t know how to mend a broken heart. I’ve never been very good at it. What I can say is don’t do what I’ve done. With any pain there’s a time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to cry, and a time to soar. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.” For every amount of pain, every instances of joy, of pain and sorrow, of worry, of concern, of peace and war, there is a time for it all. I was recently talking with someone who’s marriage has fallen apart and she said so many people are there surrounding her all the time she wishes she had some alone time. Whilst me, I’m alone at work, I’m alone at home, and nearly every day it’s the same. There is a healthy balance in the grieving stage when you must get out of the house, you must spend time with people, but you also need to be able to sit back and reflect.

When we are heavy laden we must learn to turn to God and allow God into our hearts to lift us up. Psalms 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Also, Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Giving your sorrows to the Lord is something that comes with practice, but it’s not a magic wand, it won’t make you feel better that second. Loosing a loved one is always difficult and it doesn’t matter if they die or walk away. Truthfully the only true way to heal from heartbreak is to let time move on, distract yourself often, surround yourself by people who will help lift you up, and get out get out get out of the house. You cannot sit in the house surrounded by memories and expect to feel better.

God Gave Me You,

I’ve been a walking heartache

I’ve made a mess of me

The person that I’ve been lately

Ain’t who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me

Watch as the storm goes through

And I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs

God gave me you for the days of doubt

For when I think I’ve lost my way

There are no words here left to say, it’s true

God gave me you

 The truth behind this is Jesus. Jesus is here for us in the ups and downs. Jesus is here for us when we loose our way, but Jesus the everything in the world we’ve ever needed, even when we don’t know what we need. Jesus is our sword, our sword of vengeance, and our shield of protection. The morrow will come and when it does the world will continue to turn. Our pain will still be here, but will you get up with me and put on our big boy and big girl pants and continue to fight through the pain? Day in and day out no matter the trials we face we must continue to push through. We will never be the same again after this, but we need to learn to do one thing. We must, MUST learn to not give away the power over our happiness. We must learn to hold onto that for us and us alone. We cannot allow someone to break us like this over and over again. We must love everyone, we must love ourselves, but knowing that Christ is with us is the only power we should be giving away. Trusting in the Lord is a given, but trusting someone else with the button to control our foundation is a fatal mistake.

We know that there will never be a day promised without pain except the day after we breathe our last. The day we awake in Heaven is the day we will be without sorrow, without pain, without suffering. Revelation 21:4 “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” Until the day comes when the world is wiped away, or we are called home, pain is apart of our life, apart of our journey. Somehow, we must learn to embrace it, and use it to get us through our problems, one step at a time. No matter what book you read, what blog you’ll read, or any advice you’ll ever hear, the answers for recovery is not simple, nor can anyone help you through every part of your journey. And since there is no right answer to a quick fix, no straightforward course of action to make the pain go away all we can do is pray to God to help us on our journey, help us with the direction we must go. We must turn to Christ during our times of need because it’s in those times of need when we can be assured God is with us always.

 

 

No, I Don’t Wanna Do That!

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No, I Don’t Wanna Do That!

Children, we are big babies a lot of the time. We are often told we need to do something and we fuss and complain about doing it. Even when it’s the right thing to do, or something we absolutely must do. How often do we throw our adult temper tantrums, or find ways to silently protest the daunting task of being an adult? (Spoiler Alert Lego Batman) I was watching Lego Batman the other day and when Alfred tells Bruce he has to go to Commissioner Gordan’s retirement party Bruce throws this huge tantrum. He grumbally says “No, I don’t wanna do that!” He throws himself to the ground, screams No over and over as he makes his way to the stairs, flops up the stairs still screaming no, then starts to beatbox and ends with a resounding NO. Alfred sweetens the honey pot and Bruce agrees to go. See God’s not that way with us most of the time. When we tell God no I see God up in the celestial heavens and says “Excuse me?” “Okay, well you want to do it your way, we’ll see about that.” I see God as having a bit of a parental sense of humor. When we don’t want to do something he lets us do things the hard way, and eventually when we get to the point of everything going wrong, he slaps us behind the head and says ‘Okay ya big dummy, you going to do it my way now?” And of course we reply “Yes God. I’m sorry.”

What happens to us when we rebel against God? Lets first look at the first to do that. Satan tried to go against God. Isaiah 14:12-15 “How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! [how] art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!13 For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.15 Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.” Satan was created by God as one of the Angels of Heaven, Lucifer Morning Star. The desires of Lucifer to lie and scheme were what caused Him to be cast from Heaven. John 8:44 “Ye are of [your] father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.” When we choose to sin, when we choose to rebel and go against our Father we are likened to Satan. Deuteronomy 28:47-48 “Because you did not serve the Lord your God with joyfulness and gladness of heart, because of the abundance of all things, therefore you shall serve your enemies whom the Lord will send against you, in hunger and thirst, in nakedness, and lacking everything. And he will put a yoke of iron on your neck until he has destroyed you.” God can and will take from us what we no longer deserve. Truly if the good things in our lives are gifts from our Father, and we are bad, doesn’t it fit that those good things will be taken away? In fact that very things happens and can be seen in Psalm 68:6 “God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners in prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.”

Proverbs 17:11 “An evil man seeks only rebellion, and a cruel messenger will be sent against him.” When we continue to go against God’s wishes for us, when we choose to turn our backs on God, when we choose to want the lusts of this world, and we choose to forsake everything we know, we can and will watch as the blessings we once had in our life are thrown away and when we realize what’s happening, usually it’s too late. Only when we repent of our sins, and attempt to right our wrongs will be again be blessed and life will be made right once again. Our Father isn’t mean, and He isn’t cruel, He just wants what’s best for us.

As I watched my own life fall apart I had to ask myself and evaluate what was I doing wrong? I believe two things happened in my life. First there were a few things I wasn’t doing according to Gods will. Second other people have free will and when they choose to sin sometimes we are just collateral damage. We must be careful with whom we associate with because if we are not we too may be caught in the crossfire. Choose your friends wisely and choose who you spend your time with, with more scrutiny. Godly friends and Godly counsel are the best choices in your life. If someone isn’t giving you advice from Scripture itself, chances are it’s a worldview and not one of Godly or Divine origin. The dangers of such advice are they will often lead you astray and cause you more harm. The only advice you will ever need is that what’s in scripture. Much like the film “The Skulls” they had a book with every contingency. Well, truthfully the Bible is our big book of guidelines and rules to live by. If we just read it and study it, we’d find that nearly everything we could think of today or deal with today at the root of any problem is talked about in the Bible. There truly is nothing new under the sun.

Do you want to win the battle or do you want to win the war?

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Do you want to win the battle or do you want to win the war?

“Better to retire and save your aircraft than push a bad position.” Viper We get into fights and arguments all the time, for all kinds of different reasons. Most of it is a different point of view based on ones past and not knowing how to truly listen and understand the other person. We as a society have lost the simple ability to listen with any kind of empathy, or even care to the other person’s point of view. Our differences are important, but understanding and respecting those differences is equally as important.

When we talk about marriage and long term relationships, or any relationship for that matter it’s important to realize conflict will come up in every relationship. When conflict comes up the key is not to avoid it, but to learn how to successfully iterate your point of view, accept the other persons, and find a common ground solution. I personally have not been very good at this in the past. I’m not usually the type to go into hulk mode, yell and scream, hulk smash sort of thing, but I would instead use a logical approach, use data and facts to back up my argument. Now most would say that’s a great way to go at it, however, while sometimes it’s a good way, others it can be a great determent. When the argument has an emotional side and the other person has an emotional response to the argument, not asking or understanding that POV can be hurtful to the other person. If you are like me, and in the past I would say well these are the facts, and because of that, everything else is wrong, that can make the other person feel rejected because you didn’t take the time to listen or understand the how or the why they feel that way.

If we take just a little bit of time to question if the argument or disagreement we’re in is important or now we can avoid a lot of problems just by throwing in the towel sooner. One of my major faults was to approach the argument by way of evidence and if it were rejected I’d try to give the evidence a different spin and present again. Sadly, repeating an argument doesn’t usually get you anymore, so learn from me, and don’t do that. Maybe once or twice, but even that second try of repeating may not be a good idea. A Christians we are taught in James 1:19 “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:” This isn’t a suggestion, this is what we are told to do. When we listen, and listen with empathy we can learn a great deal about the other side of the table.

When we are at the table we should learn one particularly useful trait and with the empathetic listening we should also use the art of negotiations. If the debate is getting out of hand we should learn how to back up, and open the table to negotiations for a compromise. Trust me guys and gals, it’s better to both loose something in the negotiations rather then loose each other. If we for just one second try to look through God’s eyes and use God’s heart we may just learn it’s better to just let go, because whatever you’re arguing about may not be important in a few days, or even a few hours. Some big decisions should be handled with lots of prayer and open lines of communication, but always learn to compromise and negotiate. Always learn why the other person feels the way they do.

If you want a long, strong, healthy relationship it’s best to learn the skills of how to effectively present your side of any discussion and learn how to ask for the other. Get all the facts. When you’re angry or frustrated check the facts, see if your emotions match the level situation. We can often be more frustrated then we should be, we can be more angry than we should be, and it’s important to be able to catch when those things happen.

Remember when you love someone whatever the argument is, it’s probably not worth the fight. Once we get to fighting we’ve lost track of the point of love. Love your neighbors as yourself which means fighting with them is hurting you too. As Viper said in top Gun it’s better to retire then get yourself into a bad situation.

The Little Boy 

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The Little Boy

The little boy sits in his room, no lights are on, no music or television is playing, just the silence of his own thoughts and prayers. The cool wind starts to howl as the sky turns from a red sunset to orange to a purple, to gray to black as the storm clouds tumble in like a down comforter being pulled up on the bed. The trees start to tremble and shake, they scratch the house as if asking to come in safe from the storm. The thunder rolls in the distance and the child looks out of the window thinking the storm will pass quickly. The trees aren’t scratching at the walls anymore, they are knocking. The thunder roars and grumbles loudly now, as the house shakes with each display. The child’s scared now and he grabs the worldly blanket thinking the soft and fuzzy blanket will protect him in the night’s storm. The boy’s now terrified as the lightning show turns darkness to daylight. Each flash he sees shadows on the walls. The flash looks like someone’s in the room. Another flash and he’s sure he saw the shape of a man. The flash and thunder crack in the air and he sees the man shadow again. He covers his head with the blanket but the wind, the howls, the trees, the light still rages on and he feels the cold of evil all around.

The boy scrambles off the bed to the corner, ‘get away!” he screams. The shadow turns to many now, all man shaped, some hunched over, some standing tall, all dancing around the room. The lighting and the thunder continue to play the song that the shadows dance to. The trees whipping around now and it sounds like the tree will rip through the wall. The rain falls, and falls, the sound is loud, and nearly drowns out the rest of the world.

The slow sound of water seems to be coming inside now, the boy peeks from the covers to see the glistening of the water coming from under his door. The shadows continue to dance on the walls and the boy now terrified tries to find a way away from the water. He begins to cry as the fear now can’t be controlled. The rush of water breaks down the door. The storm continues outside, but the boy’s not safe anymore. The water rises as he climbs to the bed. The thunder now sounds like laughing, the shadows seem to be celebrating, the fear the boy feels is feeding the shadows, the waters rise fast, and faster soon to be cresting the top of the bed. The water is frigid cold. The boys wet, and shivering as the water makes things float around the room. The shadows close in, the windows now covered with water, the lighting, the thunder louder and brighter then they were, the shadows now seem less like shadows but shadow men. Physical and the boy tries to tread water, still gripping his blanket, his protection.

The lighting stops, the thunder does not, the freezing waters continue to rise. The boy knows he’s going to die now. The boy shakes with fear, shakes with regret, and sorrow. He will miss his friends, mom, dad, and grandparents. He has no protection from this storm, no hope. The shadows now dance on the ceiling and the walls, but he sees one cutting through the water coming straight towards him. Fear freezes him in place. The water is nearly to the ceiling now. It’ll only be moments before he is under water drowning in this strange water. The shadow grabs the blanket away and throws it away. The boy cries, pleads with the shadow to spare him, to let him live. “What do you want!?” the little boy screams, crying, voice shaking, screaming now in fear
“Why, I want your very soul.” Exclaims the shadow. The entity grabs the boys throat and the boy feels like frostbite around his neck. His life is fading; he feels the cold spreading through his entire body. The air is now frost, his breath struggles and he sees it now in the air. The shadows on the wall seems to be more excited as his life is being drained from him. The evil shadow’s grip around the boy’s neck tightens. Why is the shadow taking so long, why make me struggle the little boy thinks.

“God please, please help.” The boy manages to let the words escape his lips. Suddenly the roof is ripped away, the whole room is filled with a blinding light. The boy sees the shadows burst into a flame and the ash falls from the walls. The shadows look burned into the walls. The water turns to a harmless steam, the evil shadow screams towards the light and releases the boy’s throat. The boy falls, but is caught by a cloud. He’s lifted towards the sky and feels as if he’s wrapped in a blanket of warmth and softer then anything he’s ever felt. The boy can’t see in the brightness of the light, but whispers “thank you.”

“When you are in times of trouble, when the storms rage on around you, just call for me, just call my name, and I will be there to protect you my child.” The boy knows who saved him, God, the soft touch of angel’s wings protecting him, keeping him warm. The touch of God has healed his wounds, and his terror is gone.

The boy wakes in his bed, the room is back to normal, no shadow men burned to the wall, no water in site. The tree outside isn’t knocking anymore, and the moonlight shines brightly into the room casting what looks like angel wings on the wall. The boy knows he can sleep tight tonight because God has sent an angel to cover him and protect him. The God of all that’s good and just in this world so loved the child he came to the world to save him; of all the people he could save he saved the boy. With the blanket of an angel’s wing the child closed his eyes in peace and drifted off to sleep.

Every now and then the child sees the shadows dancing around, but when the Child calls out to God, the shadows draw back in fear, and the child has no fear of them anymore. The power the shadows once had are gone, because the child learned the true nature of walking with God. Never in the child’s life would he ever be in such a great storm again.