christian – Page 21 – The Arrow Preacher

God’s Will, My Will, Who’s Will

July 24, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

God’s Will, My Will, Who’s Will

Psalm 143:10 “Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Your Spirit is good. Lead me in the land of uprightness.” I have been questioning my purpose in life, and it has been years that I’ve been floundering in my career. As time pushed on I never quite found my flow, found my comfort. I spent years unwilling to leave my career because it was part of my comfort zone. Eventually God would force me to leave my career and follow a new path. I can remember growing up being in love with the church. As I grew I had felt some urges to work in the church but the older I got the further I wanted to be from working. I never stopped longing to go to church just didn’t think ministry was right for me. I ran from the idea for years and years.

When I think of everything I’ve gone through I can’t help but think of the song ‘Where My Heart Will Take Me’. I have walked a long journey, and as I’ve walked through the fire and the rain, I have always kept the faith that one day I would find where I belonged. I knew my strength came from my God and that God loved me no matter what everyone else said, or even those who doubted me. I can remember when I first decided to join the Army there were many who laughed at me. I was just some skinny kid, and many thought I’d fail. I was a weird kid and the vegetarian and most thought I’d fail in the first week. I not only made it my first week but after nearly dying from MRSA I bounced back and completed my 20K ruck march. I watched as I overcame all odds and managed to do something so many doubted. I was the smallest guy in my unit and even the Drill Sergeants didn’t think I would make it. Above the doubts I wanted to prove to myself I could do it. For the next 3 ½ years I would find myself achieving things I never dreamed I would. From combat to marriage, to moving out on my own I would come to find I was more independent I ever dreamed of being.

As tragedy would strike my life I would struggle to pick myself up. Instead of turning to God and giving my struggles and my trials to the Lord who could fix my heart, I hid it away and never faced them again. I thought I was doing just find handling my life well enough. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe and know Christ, I had failed in my prayer life and failed to understand the true nature of being a follower of Christ. My whole life I had questioned why I was being made to go through so much pain. I have struggled often wondering why I wasn’t good enough to be happy. I struggled with wondering why no one wanted me, and why I would loose so many people I cared for. The thing was I was always asking why me, and my suffering was about me. I never once thought to rejoice at my struggles. I never once thought to ask how my struggles could be used to glorify God. I never once thought to praise God even in my darkest hours. Instead I was always asking God why me, and what I had done wrong to deserve it. I always made it about me, and no matter how low I got I couldn’t see past me. I wasn’t narcissistic, nor was I entirely responsible for my own sufferings, but I can see now how those things while at the time were horrible and traumatic, but today they have given me a point of authority to preach on the subject.

I can’t say I fully understand everything, but I can say one day I hope to understand more then I do now. In my journey I now realize how much of a foolish young man I was. I was bitter and angry for so long I look back over my life and while I was never the cruel type, or cold or distant, for the most part I was always as loving as I could be. That was until something bad happened and then I shut down. See, for me the problem was facing the hurt, and instead of facing it I buried it deep down hid it away and never let it come out. I was dealing with it in my own will, and not God’s will. I need a swift kick in my stubborn butt, but instead I trudged along in my own way unwilling to see the bigger picture. See my whole life was missing out on an opportunity to minister God’s word in all the situations and countries I would find myself. Instead God took a back seat in my life and only when I needed something did I turn to God to get me out of the mess I was in.

Today’s picture of me is much different. Today the first place I turn when something happens is God. Today the first thing is tell God how perfect and gracious the Lord is. I thank God for an opportunity to learn from whatever lesson I’m being plagued with. I have learned to let my will fall to the side, and follow God’s will. I have allowed myself to be in charge for too long and I’ve found that I can either accept the lesson to be learned and not stress as much, or try to do it my way and hate life. So when dealing with any situation in life it’s important to praise God good or bad, and have trust and faith that He’s in control. For ever tear we cry, every laugh from our belly’s, every step we take Jesus is by our side and we must have faith that we aren’t alone during any of it. God so loved us that he gave his only so anyone that followed him shall not die, but would have eternal life. John 3:16 (paraphrase)We don’t know why so much bad happens other then we live in a fallen sinful world, where greed, selfishness, and hate are a plague upon humanity. We must choose the path of righteousness, the path of love that we are taught through Jesus Christ. This path isn’t one I ever thought I would be on, but as a surprise to me, those closest to me found little shock in it, as they saw my path to ministry as no longer plausible, but likely. All those years I spent telling God was I wasn’t going to do, what I should have been saying to God was what do you want me to do and then ‘Yes Sir’. Even though I walked my own path and I avoided God’s calling for me like the plague, the truth is, I wouldn’t be prepared for this path had it not been for where I was. My path was full of pain and turmoil, but even with the trials I shall face on this new road, I can rejoice in them because I now know and understand how to give the glory to God. Something I once said with my ex wife, ‘I don’t like you right now, but I love you.’ I believe this sentiment is true with God also. We don’t always like God’s plan, but we still have to follow it. We may not always like God at the moment, but when you think about it, that sentiment could be true of God with us. Imagine how patient God is, a Parent watching over His children who are stupid, arrogant, selfish, kind, soft, loving people all at once. We walk our paths, we turn our backs, and yet even when we are disciplined we are still loved greater then our wildest imaginations. Stay the course and make sure God’s path is your path.

Side Note:

During the writing of this post I was hit, blind sided with a message from someone I had befriended for a few weeks now, and while I wouldn’t have assumed anything was wrong out of the blue I get a message saying they were sorry but couldn’t talk to me anymore. That was it. I may not know what the purpose was, but I know it hurts. Regardless of how it made me feel the first thing I did was prayed. I took a step back and though my feelings were hurt, I cannot change anything, and I have no control over the situation, so all I can do is pray to the one with the power Jesus Christ, and offer myself to take this and figure out how to use this to glorify God, even if that means just taking my pain to the big guy up stairs.

Long Nights

July 23, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Long Nights

It’s 1AM and I wake from sleep. I grunt and I roll over and close my eyes to sleep again. 315AM my eyes open again, this time it feels hot on my face. The mask that keeps me healthy is hot and sticks as I move. I adjust and drift back to sleep. 530AM and this time I wake up unable to fall back to sleep. The weight of the night heavy on my mind and it lingers like a dense fog. The dawn breaks the horizon forcing light beyond the gray clouds that blankets the sky. There’s rustling in the house as the internal clock of each animal hits 6AM. The animals are oblivious of the struggles of the night, and yet, to them the day moves forward as any other. Perhaps they are right, and no matter the night, or the week, or even the year, the day moves forward and no matter how much we want, the days come and go, and all of yesterday is gone.

We spend so much time worrying about the day, tomorrow, yesterday, and in that worry we cause anxiety, depression, regrets, and we fail to live in the moment. The struggle is real for millions perhaps billions of people every day. While we are taught in scripture not to worry, that God’s in control and it’s our faith in God that sees us through, theory is much easier then practice. Matthew 6:25-34“25 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one [a]cubit to his [b]stature?

28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not [c]arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

I have spent years trying to reprogram my thinking to accept the things I cannot control. I have sat in my own desperation and I have struggled to sleep because of it. I have been desperate for change, for answers, for anything to ease the storm inside. While many would say it’s a lack of faith that causes such problems I disagree. I think our faith is what allows us to get through tough times in a way that keeps our witness of Christ. I believe it’s our understanding of Jesus Christ that allows us to wake up every day and continue moving forward. I am certainly not the first person to struggle with depression, and low self-esteem. While I realize I am made exactly how God wanted me, I can’t help but consider the judgments of this world. Often we hear ‘don’t listen to what other people think.’ While this is true, when you hear the same thing over and over from many sources it’s hard not to hear it. The brain much like our body is affected by what it takes in. If a child is raised in an abusive household full of anger, bitterness, and verbal abuse, that child will undoubtedly suffer from depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and that’s best case scenario. Worst case is they adopt those behaviors and later in life become the same.

King David who wrote many, or most of the psalms is often seen suffering from depression, heartache, and yet always turns to God for truth, guidance, hope, and love. If David was known as the man after God’s own heart, then we come to realize even the strongest will face struggles. It’s not about the struggle it’s about how we manage. Do we let the darkness take hold and push us down a destructive path? Or, do we rise up, rise above, and praise Jesus in the midst of the storm? Deuteronomy 31:8“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Maintain your path, and when you feel the weight pushing you down, don’t try to hold up the world. Instead let the weight push you down, down to your knees and pray to God. When facing an opponent that’s bigger use their weight against them. When the world pushes you, just move out of the way, and let life fall down. The one with the power to control the very storm, we pray. Psalm 34:17“The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.” We all have troubles, and some will let those troubles crush them, others will rise above, and not get stuck in the muck and mire. Psalm 40:1-3“I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. 2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. 3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORDand put their trust in him.”

In the absence of light in the dead of the darkness, I shall not fear because the God of Angel Army’s is always on my side. I trust in my Lord and I just speak the words and cast the darkness out in the name of Christ. When looking to tomorrow just remember God’s already there. When looking back at yesterday remember God was there too. And when looking to the moment God’s right by your side. Do not fear the darkness because no darkness can remain with even a tiny bit of light. John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” No peace can be taken from you so long as you maintain your foundation with Christ. No enemy can stand against you and take your salvation away from you. Romans 8:38-39 “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” So stand tall, stand firm, and if you wake in the middle of the night, praise God that you are awake and breathing, and be full of joy for the blessing of life.

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What Do You See?

July 21, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

What Do You See?

My God I sit here on my bed tonight and I ask what do you see in me? You’ve given me so much, and yet the flesh of this body betrays me. The scars that burn inside and out with regret and self-pity. The scars that burn as a reminder of what I’ve lost, where I’ve been, and hopefully where I’m going. Weeks like this week when the Devil’s been on the attack, wearing me down, I look to you my Lord, my Father, and I pray because I know I can’t do it on my own. The dark side of me has come bubbling up from the deep dark crevices in which it slumbers. I would go so far as to call it self pity, but days like today I feel the struggle longing for that special someone to spend time with. I know You are preparing me for something great, and I know my path is perfect for your plan, but today I feel my strength is not where I know it should be. Psalm 91:4“4 He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and [a]buckler.” I look to the sky and pray your grace be sufficient for me. 2 Corinthians 12:9“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

I sit here and write what’s on my heart, and I wonder what it is you see in me. I wonder why this message has been laid on my heart. I wonder if someone else feels the way I do tonight. I know it’s wrong, but I envy much, and I ask for forgiveness of my sin. I see so many with smiles and loved ones on their arm. I see so many posting and planning for new babies. It feels so unfair that I’ve tried so long and here I’m made to wait. It feels like you’ve gone away but I know that’s not true. I can’t see the purpose but I have faith in you, and not in my own sight. I reach to the sky and call out your name, and I ask please show me a sign.

I know that in this life we have our ups and downs, and we just have to ride the roller coaster and trust we know where you’re leading our train. This week I feel as if I were taken down back behind the woodshed and received a beating. One thing I’ve learned is you can only go so far down before the ride goes back up. And when I get a beating like this it means I’m doing something right for the glory of the Father. I can only sit and ride out the rough patch, but have faith. It’s a fool who only celebrates the good times. It’s a fool who only wants to hear ‘positive vibes’. We do not live our life in a bubble. We do not live our lives in hibernation during the rainy season of our lives. What we need to do is train our minds to see how our struggles can be turned into blessings. While this is far from easy, we are told not to worry about tomorrow. We are told in scripture to focus on today, the here and now. So, in light of what scripture tells me, I shall leave you with this short message. Go out there and feel the grass. Hug your children, kiss your significant other, and enjoy the day. Go forth today no matter what your situation is and find a few things you can be thankful for. Thank God for answered prayers, and also those that have been turned down, and those yet unanswered. Have faith, and never give up hope on our Father.

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Child Of My God

July 19, 2018July 19, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Child Of My God:

My Works are nothing at the cross. My works are dirty rags thrown out into the trash that is tossed aside not worthy of a second glance. Do not misunderstand; my works do not determine my worth. My whole life I dreamt of leaving a mark on this world. I wanted to be remembered for doing something amazing and wonderful and positive. My whole life I sought my place, my purpose in this life. My whole life I’ve wanted to feel like I belong, like I fit in. At every turn I’ve been knocked down, knocked out, left behind, tossed aside, and forgotten. I have measured my own self-worth by those of others. I have watched as one person after another has thrown me away like a piece of trash. As far as people I have had in my life I’ve had a few that are in my life I can count on, the rest of turned their backs on me in my darkest hours. Ultimately though people should never be my concern. The one and only approval I need is that of my Abba. I never knew my biological father, but as I’ve grown, it’s my heavenly father that got me through. When I walked across the stage graduating high school my Abba was with me. He watched as I turned my life around from a 2.6 GPA to a 3.2 GPA upon graduating after I changed schools. He was with me when I swore to defend the Constitution against all enemies foreign and domestic. He was with me when I completed the 25K ruck march on the last day of basic training. Abba was with me the day I received my deployment orders for Iraq. Abba watched over me and kept me safe in the midst of insurmountable odds during combat. Abba rejoiced with me when I got married, and cried with me when I got divorced. Abba guided me through my failures and was the reason I succeeded. My Lord rejoiced when I married a second time. Once again cried with my broken heart from the second affair and subsequent months where I tried to save my marriage. My father held my hand the day I stood in front of a judge for the second time in my life and heard the words “Judgment of Divorce.”

My Lord never left my side even when I fell and crashed, getting bloody and bruised. God lifted me up with tender love and care. My lord has given me people in my life to help me and guide me in my darkest hour. Even when I’m down and when I feel the emptiness from no longer having a companion, my God is by my side hands on my shoulder as my heart breaks again and again. In the longest, darkest of nights the Lord, the king of all creation lights the way forcing the demons to flee before me. I fall and I get down but I’m never alone. I may often feel alone but that’s never true. I may miss certain people from being in my life, but I trust in my Lord’s plan. In my failings my father watches over me. He rewards me for my faithfulness, disciplines me when I’m bad and in all times never ever leaves me, and always loves me.

Jesus is my Lord, and my Savior and I know strength is one of my spiritual gifts. I have been attacked by the devil my whole life, nearly nonstop. As I now know my godly path, I prepare for the continued attacks and I expect those attacks to grow in intensity and frequency. I trust in Abba to guide me, to prepare me and to equip me for my upcoming spiritual battles. We are gifted with spiritual weapons to use in the war. 1 Corinthians 12:4-11“4 There are [a]diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5 There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. 6 And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works [b]all in all. 7 But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all: 8 for to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, to another the word of knowledge through the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healings by [c]the same Spirit, 10 to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another discerning of spirits, to another different kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. 11 But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually as He wills.” Our spiritual gifts are tools for us to be used in combat against the Devil. We are called to be prepared for the war. We are called to don the Armor of God. Ephesians 6:11-2411 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the [a]wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of [b]the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints— 19 and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.” We are soldiers in this world fighting the good fight as the Apostils had before us. We are armed with the armor and our weapons. These weapons are used during our evangelism as called for in the Great Commission. Matthew 28:18-20“18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go [a]therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” [b]Amen.” Be bold and use the events in your life to preach and teach the gospel. Don’t let the events of your life be for nothing. Use them to show what God is doing for you in your life, and how God has helped you through tough times as He’s helped me. You are an Ambassador for Christ and as we are just moving through this land, on our journey we are given the chance to preach and teach the word of the Lord. Don’t waist opportunities to turn something horrible, into something wonderful. Remember we are but servants of the Lord, we serve and are not here for God to serve us. Everything we do is to bring Glory to the one who gives us everything God, and as God has given, so can the Lord take it away.

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Hold On

July 16, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Hold On:

In the course of our lives we will go through a mound of trials, one more intense then the next, but what are we really doing with those experiences. My personal experiences have left scars and those scars have been an irritant for many years. I’ve struggled most of my life with low self esteem, and that’s had a major impact on my adult life. When we go through painful events if we don’t have a strong foundation those events can start to pile up and leave us feeling self-conscious, bitter, and sometimes resentful. I know for me, I have argued with God on many nights why would He allow me to go through so much. I have often asked what I had done to deserve so many tragedies. I have been angry with God for so many people abandoning me. The thing is though, had I been more mature in my faith I would have understood the true nature of being a Christian. I would have understood that God loves us, but He is first and foremost our father. He disciplines us when we are bad, and allows us to make our own decisions, good or bad. He cries when we cry, and laughs when we laugh. Jesus Christ is always with us whether it be the green meadow, or the valley of death, the Lord is always by our side. Somewhere I lost sight of that, and begun to self-pity. I failed to realize that we are the metal, and life is the forge. We have the ability to face life with a smile on our face, or we can let life beat us down and take away our joy.

Scripture is full of promise concerning living life. We are told that life will not be easy. We are told that to be a Christian is to suffer. We are warned that we will face trials, and persecution for our faith. 1 Corinthians 4:8-9 8 “[We are] troubled on every side, yet not distressed; [we are] perplexed, but not in despair; 9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;” If we build our faith on good soil, allow Jesus Christ to fill our hearts and let it take root, we will have good fruits for our labor. We will not wither under the hot sun. When we allow Christ to be our foundation we can build our lives on that, and when the storm comes we will not loose everything. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”Do not become angry with God for the sins of man. Do not become bitter with God for the trials we face simply makes us stronger. In every situation both good and bad draw closer to God. Give thanks for the good times and the bad. Pray for God every day and every night and in all things bring glory to the father. 1 Peter 5:10 “But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle [you].” We know that we are ambassadors for Christ, and to be an ambassador that means we are not on our homeland, but in a foreign land. We are not home in this world, but just passing through. That knowledge, that viewpoint allows us to grasp the true nature of this life, and understand it’s purpose. We are lowly servants to the Lord and we deserve nothing, but through grace and love we are saved. We have been shown mercy and in that mercy and love comes a cost, the cross. Christ suffered in this world for us, and for the gift of salvation the price we pay is a little suffering on our path. 1 Peter 4:12-13“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.”

Though we face the fiery trials we are not alone. We are the church and we must stand together and help one another bare burdens. We must lean on one another in our times of need. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.” Christ tells us we will suffer, and he was telling all people who follow him what the future would hold. This is prophecy, and we should take heed to it. John 16:33“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”Heaven has never been free. While the price was paid in blood, it is us that must understand that Christ is the only way. Loving Christ and having faith that he is our one and only savior is how we get that golden ticket. We are tested in this world, tested if our faith is strong. We are forged in the fires and when our time comes, we will be strong, courageous, and faithful to our Lord.

Just know that following Christ was never promised to be easy. Just when you think things are going well, and you’re on a winning streak a pipe burst under the house and floods the crawl space. The Devil doesn’t want us to be happy and He wants us to turn on God and walk away. So keep the faith, deal with one problem at a time, and keep pushing forward.

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The Life

July 11, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

The Life

All my life I was bullied. I was teased, picked on, and even beat up. From being pushed in the halls, to the locker room. From my books being taken, and swirleys being given. From being punched or even my things being stolen, I would endure day after day, time after time. Growing up I wasn’t the biggest person in school. Growing up I wasn’t the smartest, or the fastest. Growing up I was average for most areas of my life. Perhaps looks which I was teased a lot about was slightly below average, but no matter what others thought, I was made by God just the way he wanted me. Faith for me has always been apart of my life. I wish I could say that it was faith that carried me through, and maybe on some level it was, but I cannot stand here and say I came through stronger for it. On the contrary, although I made it through, I came out with scars. My whole life I’ve been self conscious, and I’ve had a low self esteem. I never held my achievements in high esteem because I never felt they mattered. I argued with God every night about the life I was given, and why. I argued every night that He wouldn’t deliver me from my hell. I remember one night I was 10 years old and I had recently had surgery. There were complications and unexpected physiological changes, which caused tremendous amounts of pain. I cried harder that night then I think I had any other time in my life. The pain was unbearable and as I laid next to the toilet I begged God to just kill me already. I prayed for deliverance from this life because I knew God hated me, and I was being punished. At 10 years old I had endured so much emotional pain, and physical pain, and if that was all by the age of 10 what would my life be? I knew I didn’t want to be a punching bag my whole life. I was at a cross roads and I didn’t know where to turn.

Not long after that surgery I returned to school where I would befriend a classmate. He was always quiet and reserved, but our friendship didn’t come of our own doing. No, it would come as a compromise to a problem we faced in class. We both wanted to do our report on Abraham Lincoln so our teacher proposed we do the report together. Agreeing to her terms, we set out to do the best report we could, and after a weekend at his house I foresaw a great friendship rise. All these years later me and him are still friends, and in fact after living with them on and off for 6 years, we became brothers. Had it not been for that relationship, at that time in my life, I cannot say where I’d be now. Looking back I realized God had answered my prayer, He just didn’t do it in a way I thought he would. The weeks turned to months, and then years, and now looking back 24 years later at everything I’ve endured, I have learned one simple truth. God does not choose the strongest, or the smartest, he chooses those he knows will endure the test of time. Look at the Apostle Paul for instance. Here’s a man that hated the Christians. He persecuted them, and in his hatred and rage hunted them and in some cases executed them. Christians knew his name and were in fear of him. I think we all have our own Damascus road. Paul was chosen I feel for many reasons. First was his unique citizenship, he was both Jewish, and a Roman citizen. He knew scripture front and back, and he came with a high education, and authority. Of all these things, Paul would be able to use his past to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He would be made to endure hardships beyond our dreams. He would face physical and emotional pain the rest of his life. God didn’t choose him to stand up to the Romans and fight an army. God chose him to build a legacy. God knew Paul could faithfully endure and in those hardships he showed as an example of how to live in Christ. His teaching changed the face of the Church forever, and even though he would be tortured and eventually murdered he shows us how much a man can take in the name of the Lord.

When the bad things happen, trauma, death, sickness, economic hardships, we often ask the same question, “Why Me?” The bigger questions, is why not you? I know this doesn’t sound fair, but give me a moment, and I’ll explain. First, bad things happen for a few reasons, either A: Your own choices caused it to happen. B: Someone else close to you caused it to happen. C: God allowed something to happen. No matter the reason, it happened, and we have a choice on how much the why will bother us. We can ask God for an answer but if I have learned anything it’s the answer may not present itself for years or in some cases decades down the road.

We cannot expect an answer because if life is the test, what kind of test would it be if the professor gave you the answers? Sometimes we need to learn things for ourselves, and we have to do the one thing that’s stated over and over in scripture, and that’s to have faith. Growing up through so many hardships I know my faith was on rocky ground. I know for a long time I was angry with God for allowing me to go through so much pain and suffering. I was so furious that for many years I barely spoke to God. He became the estranged father and even though I was angry and we didn’t speak, I always knew he was still there. God let me be angry, but never left my side, and never stepped letting me know He was still there. When I moved in with my Grandpa life had turned around for me. School was good for the first time in forever, and even dating started for me. Life wouldn’t be without it’s ups and downs, but for the first time in as far back as I could remember I was genuinely happy.

As the years would move forward I would find myself going through horrible situations, but I never asked God why. It would be years before I would beg God for release and when he said no, and this time I heard him, I knew the power and grace of God. I finally got it, and would understand the purpose. I have spoke in depth about the process of sword making, and I have realized that even though I wasn’t the strongest physically, or even the smartest, I would have one quality that God wanted. I would be able to shoulder the responsibility and walk with Christ. I could carry my cross and preach and teach the Gospel, but only because all those years of suffering, of pushing through, I was being trained. Everyone has divine gifts but no matter what they are they must be used and practiced. We must put forth effort in order to have these gifts grow and become useful for God. The things I endured I would be able to look back and see how I can now use it to preach the Gospel. One thing I’ve learned is God waists nothing. Every hardship we face God can turn into a blessing for us to use to Glorify His name. God wants those who can fight the good fight and will shoulder the cross. Often times those who have been broken will be the ones to be remade in Christ and set forth as soldiers. If you think about it, it makes sense that if someone’s lived off the silver spoon and never had to work for anything; on what authority do they have to speak of hardships? Those who struggle and have made it through have experience on their sides. We can share our testimony and people can relate to hardships.

Psalm 118:6-9“The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? The Lord is on my side as my helper; I shall look in triumph on those who hate me. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.” Trusting in the Lord isn’t easy, and it takes a lot of work, but the rewards for that trust are beyond our imagining. I realize now that each and every one of my horrible things has been preparing me and guiding me down where I would be able to use those horrible things in my life to help others. Romans 8:28“28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” For all things God is working out the plan. I never would have dreamed my experiences as a child would be so useful as an adult, but now with my direction as a crisis chaplain I will undoubtedly encounter small children and I can put myself in their shoes. Have faith that just because you don’t know the reason today, doesn’t mean you’ll never know it. Trust in God’s big picture, and you will do just fine. Change your perspective from the negative to finding something positive. Remember your brain is like your body, if you put bad stuff in, that’s what you’re going to get out of it. If you put good stuff in you’ll be positive and healthier. Changing your focus isn’t easy but with hard work and practice you’ll do just fine. God Bless.

It’s Not The End, Just Different

July 10, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

It’s Not The End, Just Different:

Nothing lasts forever. This life is a fleeting moment in the totality of the universe. Sometimes in life we have a hard time with change. We can have a difficult time letting go of the past. I know for me, I have struggled in the past with relationships when they end. I have a hard time understanding why it ended. I don’t understand the human emotion that causes people to walk away from something that seemed good. I have a hard time understanding how someone’s feelings can change without negative interaction. I have a hard time understanding how the heart can change and people who were once beautiful, kind, and caring, can turn so cruel. The change comes when sin takes hold, and the fight against it goes south. The attacks of the Devil can over time wear you down and if you’re not careful you can succumb to the enemy.

When the river changes are you going to be prepared to face those changes? Are you prepared to deal with the storms when they come? My whole life I thought I could handle anything that came my way, and one afternoon I was caught of guard and when I wasn’t looking I stepped into the fist of Satan and fell to the mat. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get back up. After more then two weeks in the hospital, I emerged with a new drive, a new direction, and rebuilding the foundation that cracked beneath my feet. God was changing my direction, and I felt like my world was ending. The thing about life is sometimes it’s truly about perspective. Had I looked at my life and saw it from a different point of view, it’s likely I would not have been in a worse situation from the one I started out on.

Realizing the end was there I panicked and my life spun out of control. When it seems like everything is upside down, and the hurricane is all around you, you have to remain calm, and focus on God. Had I taken some time I could have seen it wasn’t the end, but the beginning of a new chance to fix what I didn’t like about my life, and push forward. That’s not what happened for me, but now going on two years later, I can look back and realize everything I went through was growing pains. We can either choose to be destroyed by life, or we can rise above. We can choose to be hit by the lemons, or we can make lemonade. We can allow Satan to destroy us, or we can command Satan to flee before the name of Christ. We have the opportunity to learn, and to grow each and every minute we’re in this life. Yes, there will be horrible things, and things will often be painful, but consider how much you’ll be able to grow and change. No one likes pain, and no one wants to endure hardships, and while some will go through more, understand that in every situation both good and bad God is still in control and working things out. Our part in the matter is so small, yet we have the power to do great things, or screw up our lives royally. I’ve seen people destroy everything they had worked for and was forced to start from scratch in their lives.

Don’t look at life as what you’ve lost, instead look at it as what you have the potential to gain. Instead of me looking at what I was loosing, I could have instead taken the position that it wasn’t my doing, or my choice. I could have looked upon my life as a season of change, and taken that to move forward in my life in a healthy positive direction. I could have thought I am stronger, and I am capable of finding someone who better suits my personality. Sadly, I did none of these things, and I didn’t turn to God in my hour of need.

Scripture tells us to do two things in times of struggles. First, we must turn to God and pray for guidance and peace, and direction. Second we must turn to our brothers and sisters so we may seek Godly counsel for wisdom and guidance. Both of these things are important, and needed to ensure the compass continues to point North. It’s so easy for the Devil to get into our heads and pull us just a degree off course ever so slightly. Eventually we will find ourselves headed for a waterfall, our engines are broken, and we can’t steer. The Devil will laugh as we tumble over the edge and he’ll watch as we smash into the rocks at the bottom. The Devil delights in watching others suffer and if I had to describe the Devil in human form, he’s the guy sitting in a Corinthian leather lazy boy, sipping on a Martini, smoking a cigar, watching lives being destroyed on a thousand TV’s at once. Don’t give the Devil the satisfaction of good entertainment. Stand firm in your Christian convictions, and repel the attacks coming your way.

We change as we grow, and change is either good or bad, but one thing is certain, we have a say in how we change. Trauma’s and tragedy will come, but those who’s faith is cemented in Christ will withstand the storms far better then those with no hope. No one’s perfect and we’re all going to fall and fail, but making the choice to get up, change course, and keep pushing forward is all we can really do. God will guide us if we let Him. If we give up our selves, and trust God the journey will go much smoother. We will still hit the storms, but they won’t seem so scary anymore. While I was scared to change the way my Blog is posted, going from everyday to part time, I have found it difficult to take my fingers off the keyboard and make that change permanent. I know one day the time will be right for me to skip a day, or take time off, but as for right now, that’s not today. We can’t worry to much about tomorrow, instead focus on the here and now, focus on today, and focus on how you can glorify God in this moment.

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I Gotta Do Just One Thing First

July 9, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

I Gotta Do Just One Thing First

Throughout most of my life I’ve gone to church and in that time I’ve heard many people tell me, they can’t go because they have some things in their life to ‘get right’ first. In my opinion saying you need to work on you, or anything before you step foot into church is like saying you’re going to get better before you go to the hospital. Others have raised concern about going to church and being called a hypocrite. No one sin is greater then another at the foot of the cross. Because of that, we all fall short. There are no such things as a good person before God. There are believers and non-believers. We are all sinners and if our works before God are no better then a menstrual rag (yes that’s what it means in the Hebrew)

Ephesians 2:1-2 “2 And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, 2 in which you once walked according to the [a]course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience,” Before Jesus we were sinners with no hope of salvation. After Jesus and the sacrifice needed to pay the blood debt to reset the balance, we are still sinners, but we are sinners by Grace we are given the Golden Ticket to Heaven in which the price is our heart. We all must one day stand before Christ at the foot of the cross and understand that it’s not about if we’ve sinned or not, it’s about where our heart and loyalties lie. If we truly believe that we need to be sinless before entering church you don’t have the fist clue who Jesus Christ is. No matter if you’re Christian, Buddhist, Wiccan, Muslim, or any other faith on the planet you are a sinner and thus all are welcome at the table of Christ, and his blood was spilt for everyone.

If you want to be happy in this world it’s important for you to be walking in Christ, and once you submit to that authority of the universe, you will then seek your spiritual gifts in order to pursue your God given talent in ministry for the Lord. It’s in purpose we find fulfillment, and it’s in that purpose we find our happiness. Must like our founding fathers knew that the pursuit of happiness would be one of faith, they also knew that many will seek it, but not all would find it. If you are not walking with the Lord you are walking in the world, and if you’re walking in the world, you’re walking with the demons in this life. You will walk in the lusts of the flesh, and you will only find the thorns never the rose.

God the father loves us, and when we wrong we expect to be disciplined. A fathers love, a true fathers love will never take enjoyment from punishing your children. As a parent disciplining your children is inevitable, but life never prepares you for the difficulty ahead. Our Father set the rules for us to follow, and how to love Him, but when we break the rules, we need that correction. Our Father gains no joy from our punishment. It’s never our works that will earn favor with the Lord. We can never do enough, but when we find ourselves longing for Christ, that’s when our hearts open, when we can submit to the Lord, and stop running from our calling. Ephesians 2:8-10“8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” Since works along will never be enough to save us from the dismal fate of Hell, we must seek a higher understanding of what it is the Lord wants of us. It seems so simple an idea, so beautifully crafted, that the only need necessary for the triumph of evil in your own heart, is hate. The difference between life and death lies solely in our own power. We can choose our own fate and yet, so few will know the Lord because of one reason or another. 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 “11 Therefore we also pray always for you that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of His goodness and the work of faith with power, 12 that the name of our Lord Jesus Christ may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.”

We want to believe we are the masters of our own ships, that no one, not even the ‘cosmic fairy’ from above can make us do something we don’t want to. While it’s true many people will fight the calling from the Lord, and many will be faced with signs that they should be doing something else, the Lord never forces anyone to do anything. Sure, much like a father, suggestions are made, guidance is given, but ultimately we still choose to follow or not. “Ask not what God can do for you, ask what you can do for God.”(Unknown)We are terminally sick, and the only cure is found in love. Strange so few will realize this, but its pride and vanity that will keep people away. When we think what we do is us, which I did something, that’s boasting and that’s like telling God you’re better then Him. In Ephesians 2:10 it talks about how we are created to be workmanship, that God is the potter, we are the clay, and we were made with divine purpose. I don’t know about you, but so many people ask their entire lives what their purpose is, and the answer is right in front of them the whole time. Follow Christ, submit to the Lord, and your purpose will flourish as your works in the Lord grows.

Everyone has a purpose, and when you say you have things to do before going to the Lord that’s your own pride talking. Equally if sin is a disease and you won’t go to the Doctor, you allow that stubborn sensibility get in the way of finding the cure for your sickness. Faith isn’t easy, but look at the Polio vaccine. While it wouldn’t cure Polio it did eventually eradicate it from existence in the 1^stworld. People were skeptical of the vaccine and thought it was a trick, or too good to be true. Salvation is much in the same. It’s so easy; we are saved by love and grace. We love the Lord, and we are saved. It’s such a simple and small thing, yet so few will find the cure to the sickness that has engulfed our world. Don’t wait for you to get your life right before coming to Christ because there will always be one more thing, one more issue to deal with, one more problem you’ll face, and you’ll never find peace till you step up and accept Christ in your heart. Don’t waist your life in search of something that’s been right in front of you the whole time. God knew you before you were created. God loved you before you were conceived. God made you in your mothers womb for a purpose only you could fulfill. Stop looking for the meaning in your life in all the wrong places. Find your purpose, the reason for your existing in the only place that matters, at the foot of the cross.

Sufficient

July 8, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Sufficient

The morning sun rises, and never can we know for sure what fate will bring. The pain that can infiltrate our hearts in the blink of an eye is very real. It doesn’t matter how good the day, one thing can change it all. We all have pain, and we all have sorrow, and I know that in my time of need, that when I’m not strong there’s one place I can turn, Jesus Christ. I know that I need his grace because my own is nothing. I know that in my pain and my drop in faith, I know that in my weakness there is strength. I know that I can call on my Father above and I can lean on Him. No matter what problems I have, I know that Christ is sufficient in all of my needs. 2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” Weeks such as these, this is the verse I recite in my head. We all have them, and it doesn’t matter how faithful you are, we are human, and the Devil is always on the prowl. All we can do is put our faith in the Lord. We must go to the Lord on bended knee and rise up our sorrows, rise up in our weaknesses, and allow the Lord to make us strong. Live can be hard, and it can be unfair, and heartbreaking, but in each of these the Lord is making something beautiful. We must trust and have faith. No matter how many times we are hurt, or beaten down, no matter how many struggles we face, the great and love of the Lord will always triumph over all things.

We always want more as people. I’m single, but I want more. I don’t have a hiking pack, but I want one. I want a hiking tent, and other toys and gadgets. There’s always just one more thing to add to the shopping cart, or the wish list. What about things that aren’t stuff? When we look to our significant others, people we claim to love, are we wishing for the ‘just one more’ things? Going through two divorces both from affairs, I often asked myself what I was missing. I asked what the other person had that I didn’t have. I blamed myself over and over for their actions. I’m not perfect, and now coming up on two years with no forward momentum in my romantic life, I have found myself asking the question, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ As I have been battling with depression for some time now, it’s a constant battle to stay focused on what’s important. One of the hardest things we as people have to do is be patient. For me, patience on God with a romantic relationship, and a career has been the most difficult. I’m not a personality type that likes being alone, so for me these last two years have been trial by fire.

No matter what your ‘thing’ is that you desire, we must always remember that though we will want things, we must never want them more then the Lord. We must stay away from idol worship which is anything we put as more important than God, and that includes ourselves. In my walk with the Lord I am constantly asking for my path to be made clear in my relationship life, and I’m constantly asking for understanding of the plan ahead of me. It’s not easy being in a situation that causes discomfort, but looking back at the Apostil Paul and everything he endured for the Church, I cannot honestly say my loneliness, or desire to find a new place to live outweighs what he endured. So I pray that God’s grace is sufficient for me, and I continue to explore options for my life as I follow in Christ. Above all the relationship with Jesus Christ always has to come first, even when it’s not easy.

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Frustrations

July 7, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Frustrations,

We cannot walk through life without running into a few challenges. We cannot expect to never face the rain. Someone said to me once, ‘when it rains, some people feel the rain, others just get wet.’ I think one of the hardest things we will do as people is embrace the trials with an open mind and using that big beautiful brain God gave us to focus on the positive things even in the worst situations we find ourselves in. Galatians 6:9 “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” Feelings of doubt and frustration are natural and normal to have. We all have our tough days, and I’ve had my fair share lately. What’s important is not that you have them, but that you are able to make your way through as a Christian, and keeping your witness. John 16:33“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” The trials come, and come with a vengeance sometimes. It’s aright to feel frustrated, and even angry sometimes. It’s okay to vent as long as it’s controlled. Most importantly when you’re struggling make sure to take your concerns to the one who can truly do something, God.

As far as everyone else is concerned, when you see your brothers and sisters struggling be sure to help them. Be sure to provide encouragement, and love. It’s not easy going through trials. We all have, and we all hope to have someone to lean on when the going gets tough. Don’t be that friend that casts blame, or rebukes someone for being, ‘negative.’ One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone says you’re being too negative. Discussing trials, and struggles isn’t negative it’s a fact of life. Everyone goes through tough seasons, bad storms, and everyone deserves to have someone to listen, someone who will care, and help them through it. Don’t abandon those in need because if you do, you’re actually the one in sin. Proverbs 27:10“Do not forsake your own friend or your father’s friend, And do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity; Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.” So many people today want only the feel good positives in their lives, and often try to remove anyone who is going through a tough time in fear they may be contaminated by negativity. The truth is, while some people are more prone to being negative and that may not be an undesirable trait, we must look at a person’s situation and ask how we’d feel in their shoes.

For me, I lost a lot of friends after my ex-wife left. I was miserable for a few months and struggled to stand on my own two feet. I was devastated at the loss of my wife, and the incident which put me in the hospital. I had guilt, shame, heartbreak, worry, and a slue of other emotions, and when I wasn’t ‘snapping out of it’ in others perceived time table, I was abandoned by many. My life at that time mirrored the life of Job. Many of my situations were similar, and as I continued to struggle and limp along, many of my pastor friends pointed me to the book of Job, and the trials of Paul. To this day many of my works would involve references of those two men as my inspiration to carry on. Just remember if you struggle as I have, or if you’ve struggled as Job had, and you find yourself alone, forgotten, remember these words. Job 19:14“My relatives have failed, And my intimate friends have forgotten me.” Even when Job was left and forgotten by his closest friends, rebuked, blamed for his misfortunes, he never gave up hope. Job 19:26“26 And after my skin is [a]destroyed, this I know, That in my flesh I shall see God,” He Trusted the Lord, and knew that God would never leave him. We must all trust in the Lord that in all things blessings can be found in every trial, every storm, every heartbreak, and every thorn.