THE SILENCE GROWS

The silence grows

I write to you, even pour out feelings, but met with silence. I took the time, I write and write. Day after day, I take my time to beak the silence as I reach out to you. So many out, and nothing in return. Years of building relationships. Years of extensive, extending a hand in friendship. Picking up the phone from every call and message. I extended my wallet, my ear, my trust, my heart, and now it’s silence. A fool I’ve been, I couldn’t see, because I didn’t want too perhaps, my kindness used and abused. In my own time of need you were no where to be found. How could I have been so blind. The years of darkness I felt, suddenly creeps back in. The seeds fall and grow choking the life and happiness from my life. Abandoned yet again, the flash in my mind, as history repeats itself. Broken on the floor the tears just won’t flow. I do not know why, or how I got here. The color fades to black and white, the hurt a crushing feeling that buries in shame. The darkness settles in like an old friend. Must I say goodbye? Must I feel such loss yet again? Is this natures pruning? Did I mean so little to so many? Was I a convenience at the time, and without warning or word, expendable? History it seems repeated again. What have I learned? How to break, how to hurt. I’ve learned so much and yet again, here I am. The lessons seem to fade to mist. What can I do, when I reach for you, I reach and reach, into the darkness. I reach and lunge but like casting the fishing line, it comes up empty, every time. I see you there, you’re always around, but my hand you don’t take, a reach into the folly.

You’re not my enemy, I pray for you, I drop

to my knees and wish happiness upon you. I ask nothing of you except friendship. I have heard your tears. I’ve listened to your screams. You even once, heard mine. So close, but now ships passing on a fog filled night. Should I let go? Should I call out louder? Will my cries be heard? If you wanted to talk wouldn’t you reach out? What should I do? A broken heart makes poor choices. But, it isn’t just broken, but angry. Years and years of open roads. The pouring out of memories, feelings, thoughts, and now the road ends, the road I’d taken for years, can no longer be traveled. An absence, and yet a carrot dangled in front of me, teasing me, a sign, or is it?

I place so much in all the wrong places. I crave acceptance. I crave being wanted, and needed by others. I crave feeling important. I place that up high, an endless race I could never win. How many must I loose before I see the truth? How many must walk away before I find my value elsewhere? I walk miles upon miles seeking what I could never have. A hollow hole, unable to be filled. Jesus set me free from this cycle I find myself in. Jesus set me free from this pain. These shackles bind me and break me. Jesus be my chain breaker and show me a better way. Heal these wounds of the ages, and heal my broken heart. Jesus heal me and light my way home. Jesus my heart hurts, broken from saying goodbye. Jesus you pieced me together atom by atom, cell by cell. You’ve watched me grow, suffer, laugh and cry. Jesus you know my heart is breaking to pieces. Jesus lift me up and dry my tears. Take me out of this place and show me my value in you. Jesus show me that there’s more then this. Jesus my light on the hill, my shepard come find me, a lost sheep in the wilderness. I cannot do this on my own. I am fragile but strong. My heart breaks but I am not broken. I hurt, but I do not crumble to the ground. Jesus my rock, the rock, my foundation, my anchor in the storm, you save me when my sails are torn, and the keel creaks in the rough waters of this storm. Jesus my Lord, Jesus my light, dry my tears and guide me back, guide me to safety, my Lord. I cannot do this without you. I cannot stay in the darkness. I cannot stay in the silence. I long for Harold of the angels. I crave the sound of the choir of Heaven. I seek your face my Lord, I seek you in the darkness, lift me up, save me, save me from myself, this world, this hurt. Show me the blessings, so many abound around me. Teach me to number my days, so I may grow a heart of wisdom. Teach me to manage when I’m at the still waters, the green meadows, or the shadow of death. In you I trust my Lord. You hear my cries, deliver me from this toil.Free me. To you I pray.

The Truth

The Truth

Being a Christian doesn’t mean I have it together all the time. It doesn’t mean someone is ok all the time. It doesn’t mean you’re never depressed. It doesn’t mean you can’t have other mental illnesses like bipolar or anxiety disorder. It means we realize we cannot possibly make it through this journey alone. We rely on our Lord and Savior to help us through and that we are nothing without Jesus Christ with us.

I am woefully insecure. My mind seeks human approval and acceptance. My mind is wrought with loneliness and self doubt. My insecurities make me question much about myself. I’ll give some examples.

“Hey how are you?”(message seen) two days later still no reply…

(Brain: what did I do? Are they upset with me? They don’t like talking to me. Am I not important to them?)

If I go too long without hearing from someone I question if I matter to that person. Do I cross their mind? Why don’t they say hello. Why don’t they ever check on me? Ultimately years of abandonment have culminated into a fear of such things, along with a deep seated question of self value and a desire for friendships that won’t scatter when the light reveals my imperfections.

As years pass by it seems I have become more and more isolated, not by choice, but by world events. My recent bout with Covid, left me seeking and searching both inside myself and outside for answers. While some people came to my aid, others whom I expected to be there weren’t. It produces a mix of feelings associated with my personal value. Of course the caveat to all of this is both simple and immensely complex. I am a child of God, a follower of Jesus Christ, and God don’t make trash. I have value because I am loved by God. On the flip side, feeling as I do are feelings of the world. The feeling and desire of wanting human contact is powerful. My soul and mind are at odds with one another and with a history of depression, a fierce battle.

The desires that comes and goes to reach out to people, is one that often seems to get me into trouble. It seems the thought of checking on loved ones and friends regularly, even if it’s just to show I care, is often met with feelings of anxiety, and messages left unanswered. Of course, in this age of digital communication, it’s too easy to ignore, and simply vanish in an event now called ghosting, is far too common in my life. Ghosting happens regularly in my life. And on top of that, those whom I had been friends with for years, have up and vanished, leaving me to hold on tight to those relationships I value most. Sometimes creating a catch 22. The desire to keep people close often has the adverse effect of pushing them away. Finding balance has not been my forte’.

Living with this kind of fear of loss is not easy, but there is hope out there to find. When I’m at my lowest, I remember my eternal Father. I remember that Jesus died for me, and that’s something I can’t ever let go of. In order to manage lows, anyone, anytime has to be proactive. In order for me to manage my way through the dark times, I have to create a mix of time with God but also time with people. It’s hard going sometimes, but knowing there’s light at the end of the tunnel is vastly important. Making my way through Covid, and the isolation it created has been a challenge. Many days of long periods of silence, left me in time of study in Gods word. I think back to Paul and the times of solitude in prison. How much less of a man am I, that I should not suffer also? If Paul can do it, I shall also. Paul suffered yet endured. He had a couple people he could always count on, as do I.

Managing these things doesn’t have to be completely debilitating, even though it proves a challenge, life moves on. Finding ways to manage the loneliness, and dealing with the depression that comes with, the lack of motivation, is a cyclical problem to deal with, but one that is nothing beyond what God can manage, and get me though. Time keeps moving forward and so shall I. God gets all the glory, and provides me everything I need. Never keep from moving forward, and never stop fighting the good fight.

Isolated, But Not Alone

Isolated, But Not Alone

Friends get scattered by the wind.

Loyalty means little to most. 

Truth is relative.

Morality is antiquated. 

So much change out there with how we view others. So much change with how we view even some of the simplest of beliefs and ideologies. We lose our way so easily. Moses was not gone long before the people forgot how God delivered them, yet found comfort in a golden café. How quickly do we move on from the good things we’ve had? How quickly the grass fades and the other side looks nice and lush. How quickly our spouse becomes old and no longer exciting so we seek the next best love of our lives. How fast do we get the newest gadget that the next is released and ours seems antiquated. And friends, how quickly do they disappear when you no longer have anything to offer. 

It’s easy to run towards to great sales in this life, but as scripture says, Matthew 6:19 “19 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal;” 

I have been in quarantine now for a little while. I have enjoyed some nice messages, some thoughtful food drop off’s, and some calls. It’s made me consider, while I have received these things, there are a great many who after nearly two weeks have not returned my message. Those who say they’ll there, but never are. Those who claim to be there when it’s needed. And while I’m not complaining for the Lord has provided, it does force me to ask, if there were a time needed, isolation would probably be a good time to be available. Again, I’m not complaining, but if this is happening to me, I wonder how many people out there have less than I do. How many people go on suffering alone, wishing those would reach out, but never do. Indeed, it has become a time where we are the most accessible, but the least reachable. A time when a phone call is no longer the norm, but instead, hidden under the pillow. A time when messages can be seen day or night, but set to ignore. Indeed, a society so busy, our priorities are no longer each other, but something else entirely. 

There is a reason isolation is considered to be a psychological torture. We are not meant to be alone for long periods of time. The truth is, that time is different for everyone. Everyone has a threshold and sadly, in these dark times, the mental health crisis is worse than it has been in a long time. My own experience has not been as bad as it could have been, but while there were a few that I expected to be around, that weren’t, I know that others out there have a far different experience. Are we truly doing our best to bare one another’s burdens when needed? Are we letting down those friends when we say “lean on me.”? I am sure I’ve not been there as I should have, and while I cannot think of any times right off the top of my head, I would gladly own up to it, and attempt to make it right. 

If this experience has taught me anything, it’s some people, even those you would never expect, will not always be there for you when you need them to be. Certainly, as difficult as it may be to stomach, there is but one we can count on, rely on, in our time of need and crisis, and that’s Jesus Christ. I cannot imagine what life for Paul would have been like, going to prison after prison, beating after beating, stoning after stoning, all in the name of Christ. I cannot imagine how difficult those times would have been, but through it all, Paul says the Lord’s grace is sufficient. The Lord gives us everything we need to get through every situation. The great provider. He may not give us what we expect, or even in the manner in which we expect it, but we have everything we need. To those out there alone, I say this, keep reaching out. The Lord will provide to you someone who is willing to listen, able to help you bare that cross. Don’t lose hope. Friends, if you think you have let someone down, reach out to them. It’s never too late to remind someone you care. Keep pushing on in this tumultuous time. The Lord will see you though. 

Plenty of Blame

Plenty of Blame

I recently saw a report where New York Gov. Cuomo attempted to place blame of Covid-19 deaths on former President Trump. It occurred to me that this is nothing new, but rampant right now. IF we spent less time pointing fingers, and instead acknowledge that first we all share blame, down to the individual household, and also less time pointing fingers, and more time sitting at the table to work on the problem, we would be able to find reasonable solutions. Problems such as these are often much bigger, far larger, than one person. Every single human is currently responsible for the outcome we face. From not wearing masks, to not staying home, to hosting parties, to unnecessary travel, etc. We all place blame, but largely, if you want to be more specific, how much can we really do to fight a pandemic? While this isn’t the first time, it is the first time that a virus could travel so easily around the world, so quickly. I would say, preparedness is largely problematic. Were we ready? No, of course not. This problem goes back a long way. Pointing out all the failures could easily be an entire blog on its own, but right now I don’t feel that’s what we need. Suffice to say, we are ALL responsible for the current conditions we find ourselves in. 

God has allowed this virus to take hold of the earth. We may not know if this was caused, or allowed to happy, but either way, God is still in control of all things. God’s love is sufficient, and in these troubled times, we need to remember where we can go with our broken and lost hearts. 

Hebrews 4:16 ESV “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

WE must remember that no matter what we are facing we are accepted into the arms of the Abba Father. We must take this time and turn to the Lord. We must trust in the Lord that He is sovereign over all, and we must trust in His will. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

WE have all lost something in this pandemic. We voted and a new President took office. We may not like, we may love it, but regardless, for the next four years, we are here. We are one nation under God, and unless we want to see this great nation face judgment, we must turn from our ways and find it in our hearts to repent. God has been more than gracious with giving us time to do so, but now’s the time to stand firm on our beliefs. Are we to allow our country to go down a dark path? Perhaps, we will. We must all face ourselves and check our hearts. We must start with the man/woman, in the mirror. We must turn to the Father and ask for the forgiveness, and the courage to stand where we must. We cannot continue to pass blame and point fingers. 

Start Right Here By: Casting Crowns

We want our coffee in the lobby

We watch our worship on a screen

We got a Rockstar preacher

Who won’t wake us from our dreams

We want out blessings in our pocket

We keep our missions overseas

But for the hurting in our cities

Would we even cross the street?

Huh but we wanna see the heart set free and the tyrants kneel

The walls fall down and our land be healed

But church if we want to see a change in the world out there

It’s got to start right here

We cannot continue to expect the light to shine if we ourselves are hypocrites. Do we stand against abortion? Sure, if you’re a Christian you should, but at the same time, are you supporting low income families? Are you helping that single mother hurting? Are you supporting foster parents, and adoptions? It’s not an easy ask, but if Christians would truly support those ventures and not just in prayer, but in time, money, and support, those supporting abortions wouldn’t have a solid argument. Make no mistake, abortion is a sin, but no more of a sin than the over consumption of alcohol, the adultery, the lying, the gossiping going on all around us. IF we want a change we have to start right here, right now, in each of our hearts. 

Christians, I call to you, I implore you to seek a Biblical worldview, instead of following along the secular one. I beg you to see the light of Christ. WE must come together, and we must stop the infighting, stop the complaining, stop the hate. We must not judge others by their skin, their clothes, their social status, or the country they hail from. We must find balance. We must find love in our hearts, and find a way to uphold the law of the land, uphold the law of scripture, and love our neighbors. Are we really taking care of the church as we were asked to do so? Are we managing the talents we were given, or burring it in the sand letting it go to waist? Church, let us do better. Let us live in love. Let us shine the light of Christ in the tumultuous times. Go in peace, go in prayer, and go in love. 

Point Of View

Point Of View 

“From my point of view the Jedi are evil!” Anakin Skywalker. This was when we knew and understood that Anakin Skywalker had truly fallen to the dark side. We see how from his particular point of view the Jedi no longer stood for what they truly believed in, that they were in fact too weak to bring order to the galaxy. A story not too dissimilar then that of Satan standing and turning against God. From Satan’s point of view, God wasn’t doing a good enough job, and be it jealousy of humanity, or not enough attention, or something else entirely, Satan felt he could do a better job ruling over the galaxy and attempted to overthrow God, foolishly I might add. But, in Satan’s story, we Christians, God Himself are the bad guys. We have a hard time understanding that, and moreover we as humans have an even harder time separating truth from opinion, from point of view. 

We often say truth is relative, but that’s a farce. There is no such thing as relative truth. There may be a difference in point of view, but that hardly means one thing is true for someone, is not true for someone else. This pizza taste great, is not a truth, it’s an opinion. Abortion is okay, is both an opinion, but also can be settled by what is true. To some people murder is okay, but as society goes, as scripture goes, cold blooded murder is not. This is a truth. As far as truth goes, it is defined as such “That which is true or in accordance with fact or reality.” (Websters) Now, let me preface this by stating we as humans have often said something was true that clearly we were wrong. We have often stated things such as the sound barrier could never be broken, or the earth was flat, or the center of the universe, or faster than light travel is impossible, all of which have now been deemed possible or plausible, or flat truth, pardon the pun. Scripture, however, when examined correctly, carefully, and objectively will indeed reveal truth. For this particular argument I will offer up two authors and Christians, (Former Atheists) who would do a far better job at explaining why this is true. “A Case for Christ: Lee Strobel” And “Cold Case Christianity: J. Werner Wallace”

While point of view is important, and I daresay vital to the discussion, we have gotten so far away from respectful discord, to building walls. I find it ironic that a southern border wall is such a hot button topic for so many, but in the same breath determine that the conversation of Christianity is met with walls. We have gone so far now as to try and live without laws, live without rules, and determine that these things are fluid concepts, and thus by definition fit the term anarchy, “a state of disorder due to absence or nonrecognition of authority.” If there are no true rules, no true right and wrong, then law and order will constantly be under attack from both criminals, and those sympathetic to them. I can show you what this kind of behavior and ideas gets you. 

Once upon a time, and man beloved by the people is hailed as a hero, and welcomed with open arms, and a party. This man was conspired against by the elite and the powerful. The people then were gathered together to witness a trial, charges brought against this man. When given the chance, a swap was offered, the innocent man, or the man known to be a vial criminal, with a long history of crimes. The innocent man was called to be put to death. We today essentially do the same thing all around us. We make choices of innocent and guilty within moments of a news broadcast. We determine guilt or cause before the truth comes out. We have little care or worries about truth anymore. Today if we feel something, then it is right for ‘us’. While of course this is true of some things, which cheese is the best, which football team is the best, etc. This does not have a complete blanket to cover everything. I have been putting much thought into the term truth. Many years ago I experienced an event that I knew was my fault. I believed entirely that I was to blame, and my hurt and heartache was punishment for my wrong doing. I spent so much time believing this as truth, that I missed out on something important. People will say and do things to you, things that hurt, and it’s often done out of anger, but that doesn’t make them true.  Let me explain. When I was a younger man I got married out of love. Foolish, but true. I let go of my dreams, my career, and my brothers for a woman. I would get married quickly, but assuredly and would end up moving across the world to live in another country. After just a few short years, I would find out about an affair, and it would leave my life in shambles, rebuilding, and at a loss. God would see fit to give me someone new, and for a few years we would build a good life for ourselves. Sadly, after seven years together, I would endure yet another affair, and watch this time a my entire foundation cracked and the walls crumbled down upon me. A foundation that was not built with God in the center of my relationship. God was not my foundation, even though he was in my life, he was not what I built my house on. That is the truth. The truth I gravitated too was, it had to be me. I was the one at fault. I was the one that pushed them away. I was the one they choose to leave, and I was the common denominator. I allowed this to permeate my entire body and I accepted it as truth. I let the pain and suffering I was experiencing, alter my perspective. I blamed God for my suffering, and I was angry, hurt, and for lack of a better term, I was a broken man. It’s easy to let circumstances sway our perspective, even if we know the truth. Look at the word happy for an example. What makes you happy, think about it for a moment. For some of you, you thought about a food, perhaps an alcoholic beverage, or maybe someone. Some people might have thought about a new home, or a new job? The thing with all of these, is while there’s nothing inherently wrong with these things (unless the person is not your spouse if you’re married, then yes, that one isn’t part of the discussion. But otherwise, every new home comes with its own set of problems. Every new job comes with a litany of its own troubles. Even relationships come with a new set of problems.

Christmas this year is that for many. Christmas this year as many have called the least ‘Christmasy’ feel they’ve ever felt. I myself have felt this way, but the truth is, we have so much to be thankful for. Our emotions are easily swayed, and because our happiness fluctuates so easily, the voice of darkness easily creeps in when we are not vigilant. I have watched as friends come and go in the past years. I have watched as opinions change, and paths diverge. I would like to say this, may this Christmas bring you healing, and reconnection. May this coming year be a reminder how fragile our lives are. We all have our own points of view, our own vantage points, but we must be able to look past and show love and compassion. If we have learned nothing this year except how important relationships are, and how divided we’ve become. So many opinions floating around, and through it all, we see fractures not only in our country, but in families, in friendships, and it’s heartbreaking. While we all have our own opinions whether or not they are based on facts, we must learn to listen, learn to talk, and more importantly, we must learn to hear. While there are many great and wonderful stories of people coming together to love and help their fellow man, we have also seen a year of great turmoil, and heartache. For a country bleeding, for a country splitting at the seams, one would think we would be coming together. The sad reality is, we’ve let our points of view, our vantage points be a place of contention and we aren’t willing to hear what the other side has to say. We are all to busy walking away from relationships, friendships, or too busy talking to hear. 

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” We must consider what hills do we want to fight for, or what can we let go of? We need to learn to communicate more, and be more willing to sit down and talk. We should not be walking away from meaningful relationships, meaningful friendships, for little cause. Truth is found where there is evidence. Real truth is not subjective, and the truth is we need one another now more than ever. Fellowship is so important to Gods creation. God said to Adam, it is not good for you to be alone. While we cannot meet in person we can still communicate through technology. Hebrews 10:25 “Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Are we making it a habit of ignoring friends? Are we making it a habit of walking away from people? Are we making it a habit to close doors simply because of an opinion difference? Whatever the cause the question is did we do anything to reason or rectify any wrongs? 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

We all have fallen short of the Glory of God. We must be gracious, filled with mercy, and love, and compassion. Let us remember who the enemy is, and divided we are a much easier target. Let us set aside our petty differences, and come together under the blood of Christ, and show true love to one another. Let us celebrate this Christmas holiday for what it is, the celebration of the birth of Christ. Christ our Lord and Savior who was born, raised by Marry and Joseph, ordained by God, led a perfect, sinless life, and was crucified under Pontius Pilate. He was buried and on the third day rose again. He walked with the people for 40 day, and ascended into Heaven. This is truth. This is true, and accurate, and evidence driven truth. Jesus Christ concurred death, and has given us hope. Let us not grow weary of doing good in the name of Christ. Let us be renewed daily of His Spirit. Let us build up one another, especially after such a hard year. Say I love you more often. Hug a little tighter. Speak cheer more frequently, and reconnect with those you’ve been away from for far too long. The Angels said this, Luke 2:10 “Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.” We have so much to be thankful for, and so much to place our joy in, we should be sharing that love to all we can. Despite having such a hard year, every day is a new day, and we are given new chances to do great things with every day. Don’t let the Devil tell you, you can’t, you shouldn’t, you aren’t worthy, you are too far gone, or it’s too late. Don’t allow the lies to permeate your ears and rob you of your joy. From the Devils perspective God is the evil one, and that’s why Satan, Lucifer is truly lost. Emotions clouded his judgment and he missed out on the relationship with God. Don’t miss out in your own relationships with God, and those around you. Rise up, and have a very joyful, and Merry Christmas, because there’s so much, truly, to be joyful about. Count your blessings, big and small, and you too will see, Glory to God in the Highest, and Peace and Good Will Towards All Men/Women. 

Plot A New Course and Engage

Plot A New Course and Engage 

The captain orders the helmsman to plot a new course and to set sail. A few turns at the wheel, and the ship begins to turn, a new azimuth is set and along that line the ship travels. The ease in which we change course in our cars, or on bicycles is amazing, but on foot, we need to be vigilant. We must stop and check our course often because we by nature will easily get off course. The hardships we face in life, or even when everything is going as smooth as glass, we can get ourselves off course. Once in a while we need to stop, make camp, rest, and pull out our map. 

In land navigation we learn to check our heading or azimuth every 100 meters. We do this by having a pace count, a map reader, and someone checking the compass. Every 100 meters an azimuth is shot, and a new landmark is set. Sadly, life isn’t that easy. We can’t always plan by one event, or one mile marker at a time. Sometimes, as were navigating we come across a mountain, a cliff, or a body of water. Sometimes these things come out of nowhere and weren’t apart of the plan. We must learn how to respond when these obstacles arise. What are these obstacles? They can be a sudden illness, a sudden change in relationship status, a child, a change at your job, an in law moving in, etc. you name it, almost anything can be a hurdle to overcome. 

It’s important for us to be listening to the Holy Spirit and know when it’s time to change course. I heard something a while ago, “just because it’s always been done that way, doesn’t mean we have to keep doing it.” Sometimes in order to grow, change needs to take place. Sometimes we will reach a point in our lives, and we have to decide which way to go. No matter what the situation we always make choices. Sometimes it’s hard to walk away from something you enjoy. Every now and then we have to walk away in order to grow or to reach our potential. Let me explain. Let’s think of the story of Hercules. The story goes he was a troubled youth. A demigod with extraordinary abilities. What if he had chosen to stay home, take a wife, and have a family? Would that be wrong of him? No, of course not. But, if he does stay home, he never reaches his true potential, never fights the monsters, saving so many lives. While this is a larger than life character, we can look at the Disney movie for inspiration. Do we go the distance? Do we tell ourselves we will do what it takes to reach that greatness? Our path should never be about our own greatness, instead knowing that any greatness we have comes from the Lord. Any achievements we have are because the Lord has blessed us. If we are to achieve the sky as the limit, we do it to glorify God. We however, cannot reach our heights if we choose to stay in the shallow ends. How can we truly bring glory to God if we always play it safe? We must be willing to step out into deeper waters. We must be willing to reach for the golden ring. We must be willing to dig deep and make the hard choices. Nothing about following Christ is easy, but as Paul told Timothy “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 

Are we listening to the little voice inside us? Are we hearing what the Holy Spirit is telling us? There is danger all around us when we travel outside our door. There is even danger now inside our homes. We see the danger on TV, in movies, in the music we listen too, and even the books we read. We must learn to decide what we feed our minds, and our hearts. We must not allow those dangers to hit our ship. We must not allow those eddies and currents to push and pull us off course. The Devil wants to keep you distracted so you don’t see the huge waterfall in front of you. Without the Holy Spirit to keep our compass on, we can easily veer off course and find ourselves falling out of control towards the sharp rocks at the bottom.

We will always be faced with choices, ‘do I stay here or take that job across the country?’ Do I leave this job when I don’t have another?’ Do I stay in this relationship and hope he changes?’ Do I keep this child or seek abortion?’ ‘Do I drop out of school to work and help my family?’ Not everyone choice is clean and clear cut. What is however, is scripture. What does the Bible say? What is the Holy Spirit telling you? The Devil will most assuredly tell you what he thinks, but as he tempted Christ, make no mistake, he tempts you also. While sometimes there’s no easy solution, God is telling you which way to go. And I will say this, God will never tell you to do something contrary to his Holy Word. God’s word stands true yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Follow his word, and listen to the spirit guide you. 

What happens when you get off course? 

We all get off course sometimes. It doesn’t matter who you are, saint or sinner, we all get off course. We are not perfect, no not one of us. We all hold the filthy burden of sin. That sin nature as Paul said, “the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak.” While of course we don’t want to walk outside of God’s grace, but when we do, we need to know we are always welcome back. We must learn to be open to have others tell us when we are walking astray. So often we don’t want to be told we aren’t right. We don’t want to be told what we are doing is harmful. You can’t tell an addict they are an addict. You can’t tell a gambler they have an addiction. You can’t tell an adulterer they are wrong. While of course we need to tell them, it is not likely they will hear you. We are all those people though. At some point in our lives we take a detour and we get off course. We need to be teachable, and most importantly, be reachable. Don’t fall so far that you have to hit the rocks at the bottom of the waterfall, before you listen. 

We know that grace saves. We know that mercy is granted to us. We can never earn it, we can never deserve it, but we are given all, because of one thing and only one thing, the love of Christ. God so loved the world he gave, he sacrificed his one and only son, to pay the ransom for our sins. He knows we will mess up. He knew on the cross we’d mess up. And yet despite all our short comings, despite our retched paths we take, the words forever ring true, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” We we’re not saved because we are worthy of saving, instead we are saved despite our treachery. That’s Love. If we are loved that much, then we can at the very least, do our part to bring Glory to the Fathers name. We can listen and let the spirit guide us. We can be obedient and follow where He leads us. Paul tried to teach to Jews in the temple and eventually he listened to the spirit, he would instead bring the word to Gentiles. He would try to go into Asia, and after three try’s he realized he was not meant to travel into Asia. We must not only walk the path, but listen for the changes that come. Be willing to adjust the plan, change the plan, and sometimes throw away the plan. God needs no explanation, only soldiers that follow orders. God never needs to explain why or how, for His ways are perfect. He is righteous, and his plans are perfect. If we remain flexible and willing to listen to the Holy Spirit, then no matter what comes, we shall continue on in our joy. Never in my life have I been more miserable than when I try to walk my own path. It wasn’t that I was walking without God in my heart, but I wasn’t being obedient. Essentially I told God, ‘I love you God, but I think my way is better for me, than what you want me to do.’ It sounds silly, but ultimately, much like the Borg ‘resistance is futile.’ The years I spent running from God I had one miserable experience after another. Now, don’t get me wrong, since I stopped doing that, it has in no way been ‘a walk in the park Kazanski,’ but instead, the trials I face have in many ways been more difficult, I feel more equipped to handle them, because I’m on the path God wants me on. Once you make the choice to follow Christ, to really pick up that cross and follow Him, the Devil takes your number. The Devil cannot abide you being accepted into eternal salvation. He will do to you, what he tried to do to Job. He will bombard you with insults, tragedies, temptations, any sinful desire he can throw at you, just to pull you off course. The Devil wants nothing more than for us to drag the name of Christ through the mud. The Devil wants you to mess up, screw up, make Christ look bad, because the world will judge you harshly on what Christian look like. Is that fair? No, but fair is not in the Bible. 

Maintaining a course in the storm is perhaps one of the most difficult things a sailor will ever do. It takes time and effort, courage, and skill to maintain ones heading when the swells are high, the winds are horrific, and the rain never relents. Make no mistake, some storms Jesus will calm, others, you may have to navigate. This isn’t because Jesus doesn’t love you, it’s because the teacher cannot always do your work for you. In order for you to learn, and grow, sometimes it’s hard, and sometimes it hurts. When you rely on Christ for your strength you can overcome anything, because you know, you learn that it is not truly your strength that gets you through, but that which the Lord gives you. When it comes time to choose your path, to choose your heading, be mindful of what the spirit is telling you. Be vigilant to hear all the voices talking to you. Satan is very, very good at what he does. He’s very good at making the vinegar seem like honey. You need to use discernment to tell the difference and hear the voice of truth, not the voice of lies. Learning how to do this takes time, and effort, and it takes a whole lot of action. You must be praying to God daily, you must be listening, and reading scripture daily. Hear what the spirit is telling you. Walk with God so when the day comes you are faced with those tough choices, you can hear the voice of truth much more clearly. Keep your armor up, and always be ready for the fight when it comes to you. The Father has not given you a spirit of fear, but a spirit of courage, so you may stand against the forces of darkness, and emerge victorious. 

Making the Leap of Faith

Making the Leap of Faith

Often times in life we are met at a cross roads, one that will leave us to ask, which way do I go? When we get to these kinds of situations it’s important to do two things. First, we must pray, and pray fervently. Scripture tells us to pray without ceasing. So, why are we supposed to pray? God gave us a love letter. God gave us not only the rule book, but the play book, a book of important historically accurate events which show us the path from the fall of man, to the redemption that Christ paid for in blood. In that book reveals that we pray because God wants us to pick up the phone and call Him. We pray because GOD wants us to tell him our heart, our desires, give thanks for what we have. Many people take the Lord prayer literally, and while of course it’s a wonderful prayer, a perfect prayer, it does more than that. It shows us how to pray. So, before we get into the second point on why we pray, lets break down the Lords prayer. ]

Matthew 6:9-13

In this manner, therefore, pray:

Our Father in heaven,

Hallowed be Your name.

10 Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.

12 And forgive us our debts,

As we forgive our debtors.

13 And do not lead us into temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

Luke 11:2-4

2 So He said to them, “When you pray, say:

Our Father in heaven,

Hallowed be Your name.

Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

3 Give us day by day our daily bread.

4 And forgive us our sins,

For we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us.

And do not lead us into temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one.”

When we look at these parallel verses, we can break it down. First, who are you praying too? Second is a title, who is God? Next is giving God his due, that he is over all Heaven and Earth, and that we must trust and have faith that God will is perfect and thus give it the ability to be done in our lives. We ask for something in our lives, to be nourished, to be nurtured. Then before we go further, we ask for our sins to be forgiven, that we repent of our wrongs. In a sense we are removing the plank from our eye, we are getting right, before we can do right. Then we forgive those who have sinned against us. We are then asking for protection from the Devil, guarding our hearts from the temptation of the world, and delivering us from that evil. 

While we are given these two mirroring examples, this is more of a template than an order to pray exactly this prayer. When you look at what Jesus says in Matthew, he says “In this manner” meaning when you pray, pray something like this. Prayer is not just ‘God, I need this (Fill in the blank) could you do this for me?’ or worse making these kinds of prayers, ‘Lord if you get me out of this, I’ll never do (blank) again.’ We must pray with more honesty, and not just turn to God when we need something. He is NOT a cosmic genie granting us wishes at our desire. 

How do you feel when that friend only talks to you when they need something? We don’t like it, so why then would we do that with our Heavenly Father? But I think I’ve made my point, so let us carry on. 

The next thing after prayer is to be walking with the Lord day and night. If we are on a voyage, don’t you take time to check your compass? When we walk with the Lord we need to be stopping often and making sure we are on the right track. Sometimes even when you walk with the Lord you may not be sure which way to go. In these instances, we arrive at the second part to the second part, we seek Godly counsel. While we don’t want too many counselors, we should have a few trusted advisers who are also walking with the Lord. It’s important that these people are true friends, and true men of God. Some friends will not tell you what you need to know, rather what you want to hear. This is not Godly counsel. I give you a prime example; Nathan in 2 Samuel 12 comes to David and gives a parable to the King. The King rightfully stands furious at the injustice displayed in the parable, and when asked who, Nathan in front of the entire Kings chamber, throws David under the bus. He called out the Kings sin in front of everyone. He did not tell the King what he wanted to hear, he told the King what he needed to hear, so the king could choose a better path. 

We must choose our friends wisely. We must be listening to the Holy Spirit, and allow it to guide us. We will often come to cross roads in our life, and the right path may not be lit up with bright neon signs. That doesn’t mean the Spirit isn’t working to tell us where to go. Furthermore, sometimes, when two paths are difficult ones, sometimes you need to take a leap of faith. Sometimes you need to make a choice that’s best for you, even if you don’t have all the details. Sometimes Gods in the details and we need to let God work out the path, and we just need to walk it. We won’t always have all the answers before we take our steps. 

Frodo Baggins did not know the full details of his path to Rivendale. Frodo left the Shire with only the goal, but not the map. Frodo once at Rivendale was met with another choice. His journey had already become perilous, but when met with another cross roads decision, decided to make an even greater leap of faith. He chose to bear the burden of the one ring and take the journey to Mordor to destroy the ring. He trusted his team, he trusted his advisors, and walked the path not knowing what to expect. He took a leap of faith, and so we must do also. The path we walk will not always be easy, but when we walk with the Lord that path is never easy. Walking with Christ takes courage, and patience. Walking with the Lord makes us a target for the enemy. We must face the danger on the road, and have discernment when it’s time to take the path to Moria, verses Minas Tirith. Not every path is free from danger, but some paths will have less danger than others. We must trust the Father, and be prepared always for the battles and choices to come. Danger comes in many shapes and forms. We must take time to know when it’s time to pull the sword and stand ground, when it’s time to hide and wait for the danger to pass, or when it’s time to run. Trust the Holy Spirit to speak to you. Walk with faith, and with confidence in Christ our King.

Don’t Get Stuck in the Weeds

Don’t Get Stuck in the weeds

We get lost in the details sometimes. We spend so much time arguing over Calvinism or Arminianism. We argue over who wrote Hebrews. We argue over what color the church carpet should be, what kind of music to play at worship, or even what color shirt the pastor should wear. We argue over so much, but the truth is, why? Why are we allowing Satan to divide us? Why are we allowing the world to have control and to dictate terms within the church? The truth is when it comes to our Salvation, does it truly matter who wrote Hebrews? Does it matter what color shirt the pastor wears, or if the pastor wears tennis-shoes? I tend to side with no, it doesn’t, but of course, some people firmly believe, yes, it does matter. The sad part is, when we start to take the focus on those things we can get lost in the weeds. 

Scripturally tragic 

When I think about all the times people break bonds because of disagreements it’s sad. I can say, I’m guilty of it myself. While I have never left a relationship easily, I have done so with the feeling it was best for the entirety of my health. Sometimes, the differences and the way in which they are presented are not healthy, and sometimes we need to brush the dust and keep it moving. That being said, differences is never an excuse to be ugly with one another. Differences of ethnicity, creed, nationality, wealth, sexual preferences, etc. is never a reason to be ugly to one another. Christ didn’t die for anyone of a particular color, or creed, or background. Christ died for all. He died so we could one shot, one opportunity to seize eternity. Christ didn’t die for us to have our physical means met here in this life. Truly, Christ died so there could be mercy upon us. Christ died so we may live. Christ died to pay the ransom due, the blood debt that we ourselves stained crimson with our very sins. Every breath is an act of mercy by a loving God, that would be every bit righteous to Thanos snap us out of existence. God allows believers and non-believers to remain in coexistence so we may have that opportunity to choose Christ. We are given that mercy so we may seek God and his righteousness. What’s sad is when we truly look to John 6:66, the sad reality is those people who left him, were also some who had just days or even hours prior, had been calling to make him King. Those who left weren’t just those hanging out for the fish, the bread, and the free healthcare, but those who truly had known Christ. There’s no way around it, those who turned and followed him no more, actively turned their back on the sovereign of the universe, and likely knew it. Imagine if you will, that in your days, weeks, and months, you follow a man, walking hundreds of miles, and hearing him speak every day. Imagine you lived with Christ. Imagine you laid eyes on his eyes, heard his very voice, and yet, when he says the truth, cuts to the heart of the matter, you turn and walk away. 

The Difficult Path

I heard someone say once that they thought once they followed Christ everything would get easier. I, at the time didn’t know how to articulate on that sentiment, but now I do. The truth is, when you look at scripture, and then historical records, many who followed Christ met horrific ends. Many of the Apostils died martyrs, and many still today die for the faith within the persecuted church. The thing is, there’s a big difference between knowing about God, and knowing God. It’s easy to have a head knowledge. Many, face the challenge of accepting in their hearts. That’s what happened in John 6:66. Those people knew Christ, they saw him, they saw the works, the miracles, heard the truth, and yet walked away. They knew in their heads who Christ was, but refused to allow him into their hearts. The sad fact is, and scripture is clear, they followed him no more. This doesn’t mean they walked away for a while and had time to think about it. No, this means they never accepted him, and if we are going to be real about it for a moment, that’s a lot of people who chose the condemnation of Hell and the absence of God. 

         What I have considered is that, those people actually saw Christ, and yet still walked away. What about those of us today, who have not seen Christ in carnet. Sure, some people experience miracles and have a life changing and mind-altering experience, but the majority of people are blind to the very miracle of life we have daily. There are many who choose to live a negative life, and that life leads to a chronic negativity, and negativity is infectious. Look for a moment at the evening news. How often does the news tell us about the good things happening in the community? Sure, there are some perhaps, but the vast majority is negative news. We tune in to see, and hear what horrible things are happening all around us. Some people might walk away from the news, but then there are others who gossip, who never see a silver lining, and are always Debby downers. How do I know this? I fight every day so I am not this. My natural go to, my default setting is one of a negative setting. It’s easy to tell someone everything wrong, but the hard part will be to tell someone everything right. When we get down to the meat and potatoes of it, the Sinner is negativity, and it is the default setting for all of us. We are fickle creatures that ride a wave, and our mood goes up and down with the ebb and flow of the worlds stimulus. Consider this, John 20:29 (NKJV) “Jesus said to him, “Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” Thomas doubted because he couldn’t see it, and touch it. When he saw it with his own eyes, he believed. The rest of us, we have to believe on faith. Some of us believe on things we have seen and rationalized to be Gods intervention in our life. Others, believe with little to no physical evidence, but I challenge and say the evidence is there for anyone who truly wants to see it. When you read the works of J. Werner Wallace, it’s hard to deny the facts. The problem is, when we have to make the choice between Christ the savior, and Christ the Lord. As I have spoke of recently we like the idea of the fire insurance, but we don’t like the idea of being told what to do. Following Christ is anything but easy, it takes sacrifice, it takes faith, it takes a constant renewing of your spirit, and prayer to connect you to the almighty. 

Who Are You?

In scripture we see that Jesus knew who his Apostles were. He also knew who would betray him, who would deny him, who would be with him in the end, and who would hide for their lives. John 6:70-71 70 Jesus answered them, “Did I not choose you, the twelve, and one of you is a devil?” 71 He spoke of Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon, for it was he who would betray Him, being one of the twelve. Jesus is a year and a half into his ministry and knowing who would turn him in, who would betray him with a kiss, and yet, not a day went by Jesus was ugly to Judas. Who are we, who are you? Are you the betrayer, the denier, the one to draw a sword? Are we one that becomes infected with the negativity of the crowd and turns from what we know is wrong? We all think we know who we are, but until we are truly faced with it, we don’t know what we would do. 

When someone asks how or why I believe in God, believe in Jesus Christ, this is a simple answer, the Apostles. They knew the truth, they lived it every day, and they died for it. They would not knowingly die for a lie. What matters, most, is that we are saved by grace, through faith in Jesus Christ. We must see Christ, and allow Christ into our hearts. It isn’t just walking an isle or saying a prayer. It isn’t even having a head knowledge. You can memorize all the scripture you want, but if you don’t have it in your heart, it’s nothing. Satan himself stood before the almighty Father, in full glory, knows scripture, and yet refuses to accept. 

Don’t get stuck in the weeds arguing about the little details that don’t matter. Don’t get drawn into frivolous arguments. Stay away from gossip, and keep straight on God. It’s easy to get pulled off course, but when we stand firm on the rock, the foundation in which we ought to build our lives, we can withstand the temptations and the whiles, and lies of the Devil. We too are tempted into sin by Satan. We too are pushed and pulled into situations we should never be in. The important thing is we’re never too far gone to find forgiveness in the eyes of the Lord. We are never too far gone to repent and turn away from our sinful nature. So long as we don’t do what the followers of Christ did in John 6:66, and that was to make a conscious choice, to choose deliberately to turn their backs on the Son of God. 

         There’s a lot of arguments that can come up, but when it really comes down to it, the only argument that matters is, Jesus is the son of God. He is the God Man, one third of the trinity, the father, son, and holy spirit. The only way to get to the father is through Jesus. We are saved by grace, through faith, and by Gods mercy. We should not get caught up in new age ideas, new twists on Satan’s old lies. Plant firm and trust the truth of the word in scripture. The worst thing we can do is get to a point where we forsake the name of Christ, turn our backs and forever walk away. Choosing a life where our eternal lives is a complete and total separation from God. There is nothing worse than that separation. Don’t turn your back on the creator, don’t forsake the gift we’ve been given. And don’t get lost in the weeds, distracted by that which matters most, Gods sacrifice for us.