Don’t Be Something You’re Not
My dog Cooper lies in the sun like a lizard. He lays on the blacktop and soaks up the rays. He reminds me of a lizard under a heat lamp. If it’s just a little cool he shivers. He’s a big, thick dog and you would think he’d be hot, but no, he embraces the high North Carolina temperatures and humidity. My other dog Riley hates the heat. She takes after me, embracing the cool, and stays out of the high humidity. A lot of Christians are like this. They claim to know Jesus but truly, if they understood what happened on Calvary’s cross and truly respected that sacrifice their actions would be so deplorable. If you’re going to call yourself a Christian, at least act like it.
People often try to adapt to their surroundings. I’ve seen friends change in a day because who they were, depended largely on what group of friends they were hanging out with. When people change their behavior to be accepted they are putting on a mask and lying to themselves. What is your true self? Who are you really? For myself, I’ve always had a strong desire to fit in. I’ve struggled for years to find the place where I belong. It’s not easy for some people. Recently I took a test to learn a little more about myself. I wanted to be able to examine and study who I am and why. In the 16 different personality types I’m what’s known as an INTJ or also known as an Architect. Apparently it’s one of the more rare personality types. For the purposes of this post we will focus on relationships.
“They spend a tremendous amount of time and energy trying to understand why and how things go wrong, especially if they’ve devoted themselves to the relationship, and they certainly hurt deeply when things fall apart.”(16 Personality Types/ Architect)We Architects prize open and honest communication. While I do stand a part a bit from the average INTJ, I’m a bit more centered with my emotions, except for painful ones. This type gave me the ability to compartmentalize very well. My downfall is in the negative feelings in life. I tend to hurt more, but hide it when bad or traumatic things happen to me. My moral compass is in Jesus, so when the profile says we architects do what’s right, to me Jesus is what’s right. Now let me stop for a moment. I’m not saying I’m perfect, not by a long shot, but what I am saying is that’s what I aspire to be. I will almost always choose to do what’s right, based on known facts. I tend not to make many emotional decision. Because I use facts to make a decision, sometimes that comes across as impulsive, or that I haven’t moved to quickly into something. The truth is, I haven’t. I have on occasion gone against my better judgment in the attempts to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Needless to say, had I listed to my younger self, I could have very well saved me from a lot of heartache.
In Relationships I look for tangible connections. I desire to grow in my social life, however I want deeper connections, not surface fluff. One main addition to the contrary of emotional support average for INJJ, I have had life push me into a position where It’s vital I am empathetic and understanding. When it comes to helping others I’m far better at helping others then myself. One interesting trait for the INTJ is our sarcasm, dark humor and our story telling. I suppose that’s why I got into writing. “Architects have exacting expectations for intellectual prowess, uncompromising honesty and a mutual desire to grow and learn as sovereign individuals. Architects are gifted, bright and development-oriented, and expect and encourage their friends to share this attitude.” (16 Personality Types/ Architect)
In My career I have found I work best either alone or in small groups. One thing I’ve found to be true is when I look at my supervisor and see a lack of maturity or incompetence, or their style to be ineffective I loose respect for them. This is a common quality in the INTJ. Very rarely have I ever rebuilt what was lost. I always want to grow, evolve, and improve upon situations and never do I settle for becoming stagnant or complacent. I have always said “If I can’t trust you with the freedom and space to do the job your own way, you wont’ be here.” I am not a micro manager. I expect the task to get done, to be done well, and right the first time. I care little how that’s accomplished. I realize we are all different and our creativity and resourcefulness is important to who we are. I strive for efficiency and expect my subordinates to do the same. “They have the ability to both develop and implement a plan for everything, including their own personal growth, moving forward with the strength of will that can both amaze and frighten those around them.” (16 Personality Types/ Architect)
I have always tried to fit into what I believed was the accepted norm. I look at Chandler from ‘Friends’ as kind of being like me. I am a joker, but a fierce friend. I value a small close relationship with people. I value people I can have deeper conversations beyond the basic surface stuff. I live by a simple code, live life as Christ would have you. Love and respect those with whom you come into contact. Be understanding with an open mind and try to live in a judgment free zone. I value truth, openness, honesty, and compassion for others. Respect is to be earned and needs constant effort. We are all people created differently by God, and for a different reason. We have different passions, different opinions, different lives, but we all have one thing in common. We are all Human Beings that sin. We are all saved under the blood. Galatians 3:28 “28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave[a] nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” We shouldn’t try to chase the love and admiration of other. Be the best you, you can be, that was created by God for a particular purpose. Galatians 5:22-25“22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.” We must assess our gifts and find our path in God. Seek wise counsel when needed. Proverbs 11:14“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” We will always fail when we don’t trust God’s path for us. Do not try to bulldoze your way through a problem. Pray, retreat, ponder, seen counsel, and trust in the Lord. Psalm 23:2-3“He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.[a] 3 He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness[b] for his name’s sake.” Be who God intended you to be and stop trying to be what you’re not.
The Arrow Preacher 