Tag: bible

Regret

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Regret

In our lives we make decisions that in hindsight weren’t so good. We also make great decisions that can change our lives forever. It’s the one moment where life has fallen apart around you, the moment you can’t see the next breath you take, you can’t take a single step forward, life has stopped and the world looks like it’s moving around you at near light speed. The moment when all hope is lost, and the decision you make seems like the right one, but what if there was a way to move that step forward, what if I told you there was hope, and there is a next breath, would that change your mind for the next catastrophe in your life?

For many veterans and civilians who’ve gone through trauma getting stuck in that moment is all too common. When we get stuck we go through our days only a shell of who we used to be. We eat, we work, we sleep, we may even contribute to the life around us, but we aren’t really there. The sludge of the weight of what we carry builds as we trek through the mud farther and farther. There will come a point when you have the black tar from your shoes up to your neck. At some point you won’t be able to move forward anymore. No matter what our event is, whether it’s the death of a loved one, the loss of a spouse, sexual assault, horrific car accident, fire, or even just a series of events that you have entered that hurts those around you. We often push away people we love because we don’t want them to see us in pain, we don’t want them to see us suffering. We push away to defend ourselves, and them, from potential damage. We don’t want to drag anyone down with us, and sometimes it’s because we just can’t see beyond our own pain.

Being pushed away by someone who’s going through a lot of pain is hard. Knowing you want to help, and feeling powerless is perhaps the most difficult position to ever be in. Seeing someone you care about in pain, seeing them walk down a dark path, and when all you want to do is take their pain away and shower them in love, yet you’re held away, and pushed and kicked out of their life, is heart breaking.

For each of our mistakes we see the other side of other peoples. When we know they are making a mistake all we can do is pray for them. All we can do is hope that one day they will turn around from the path they’re on and hopefully do so before anything to bad happens they can’t come back from. For me I gravitated to the song One Step Away by Casting Crowns:

 What if you could go back and relive one day of your life all over again
And unmake the mistake that left you a million miles away
From the you, you once knew
Now yesterday’s shame keeps saying that you’ll never get back on track
But what if I told you

You’re one step away from surrender
One step away from coming home, coming home
One step from arms wide open
His love has never let you go
You’re not alone
You’re one step away

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve gone
Mercy says you don’t have to keep running down the road you’re on
Love’s never met a lost cause
Your shame, lay it down
Leave your ghosts in the past ‘cause you know that you can’t go back
But you can turn around
You’ve never been more than

 We aren’t ever alone. This message goes out to my veteran brothers and sisters, we aren’t ever alone. We sit at home, we have the open bottle of beer or booze, and we seclude ourselves in the dark, thoughts screaming in our head. We can’t seem to get out of the way. This, is, torture. When we trained for war we trained as a team. When we get home we see that no one is there for us, no one understands, how could anyone, they weren’t there. The thing is, that’s all an elaborate lie by the Devil to separate us from the world, and break us down. It’s not true. There are plenty of other veterans out there struggling with their own replay of war. Something else I’ve learned is trauma is trauma no matter what kind. Sexual assault, loss of loved ones, fire, car accidents, none of that is exclusive to military. Sure firefights may be a bit more segregated, but that doesn’t mean people aren’t there for you. We have support groups, veterans groups, outreach programs, and so much more to help get us all back to a good healthy place.

We all have our regrets in life but one of the biggest battles we will ever face is facing those mistakes. Allowing ourselves to heal from them on the inside by forgiving ourselves, asking others to forgive us and showing true repentance for those mistakes. Philippians 3:13 “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but [this] one thing [I do], forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,” We must go forth to God and ask for forgiveness, but we also need to make it right, we need to attempt to right our wrongs. 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” One thing that I am reminded of is how easy it is to get off track. How often do we do a wrong based on how someone else wrongs us? We as Christians should hold ourselves to a higher standard, and not fall into the world expectations. We cannot allow the world to dictate how we react, or how we treat others. We mustn’t let the world tell us the lies we often feel when dealing with life’s tragedies. Isaiah 43:18-19 “18 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. 19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, [and] rivers in the desert.” We cannot know what our tomorrow brings, and we cannot know what surprises will be waiting for us just around the next bend in the road.

In all things in our life we should move forward with kindness in our hearts, forgiveness isn’t something to be earned, it’s something to be given freely. We can’t hold our forgiveness hostage like some kind of ransom is required to give it. If we are to live like Christ we must learn that people are sinful, people hurt others, we hurt them, and forgiveness isn’t always rebuilding the relationship if it’s lost. Christ forgave humanity for our sins despite the awful things we as a collective whole did to Him. We were not only forgiven for past and current sins, but future sins we might face in the future. 2 Corinthians 7:10 “10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.” When Judas betrayed Christ he could not get past his own grief and he took his own life by hanging. This is worldly sorrow. There is not repentance to be had, and no chance of redemption. We all Sin, we have make mistakes big and small. Even David a man of God’s own heart was not free from them. David was well known to be a fair man as a King, but he was a horrible husband and father. Psalm 51:1- 3 “51 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.”

 No matter how far we’ve fallen, there is always a way back. Even when it’s adulatory or other forms of betrayal. Proverbs 6:32-34 “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away. For jealousy makes a man furious, and he will not spare when he takes revenge.” A man shall not take revenge for himself, for revenge is not bringing harmony. Justice is for the Lord. Forgiveness is for man, asking for it, and giving it freely. Do not allow your life to come to the end and regret a multitude of things. Make right your wrongs, make right the harm you’ve cause, the pain you’ve inflicted. Seek forgiveness in others, beg for forgiveness of the Lord. Let go of your own pain, and do not carry that weight with you. If you continue to carry a weight like that around you cannot continue to God’s work when you have so much on your shoulders already. Allow God’s grace to fill you, let yourself see through God’s eyes, let yourself feel with God’s heart, and learn to let go of judgments, let go of your own sorrow. Do not allow yourself to be weighed down any longer.

We all have things in our life we wish we could take back, things we could change. We can’t ever retrieve something we’ve let slip from out mouths, undo an action, but we can attempt to make right what we’ve done. Don’t wait for tomorrow, start healing today. Let the weight of the world fall from your shoulders, and find a new way, a better way, a Godly way of dealing with life, and facing the trials ahead of you. Our way is never the way even if it’s easier sometimes the easy way isn’t the right way, sometimes the right way is the path less traveled. It’s our job as Christians to figure out the path God wants us to be on. When we don’t know the path to take we must turn to the scripture and pray about our path. Proverbs 18:13 “13 He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” Don’t make a decision without knowing as much of the facts as possible so be sure to not make foolish decisions. Don’t allow yourself to be fooled by fake or false information. Proverbs 18:15 “15 The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge.” When you think you know something, don’t be quick to pass judgement without gaining other perspectives and complete the story. Don’t take a story as true just on face value. Proverbs 18:15 “15 The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge.”

Knowing what to expect when problems comes up is one thing. Knowing how to respond is the second side of that coin. We must know that in our lives we will face problems, we will face trials, and in all of those trials we know that we must accept and rejoice in those times. James 1:2-4 “2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; 3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” If anyone out there is like me the WHY ME question comes up sometimes. We know that patience is something we all need more of, and in our trials we are often tasked with growing in our faith, draw closer to God and growing in patience. IF we learn how to respond to issues, we could very well have fewer regrets in our life. John 16:33“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” When standing on the beach of the ocean we do not stand with our backs to the waves (generally) because when the big one hits us we get knocked own. Instead we face the wave head on, and we brace for it. Knowing what Christ expects of us on how to handle our troubles, knowing how to handle heartbreak, and betrayals, we can minimize the damage and we can help prevent us from getting into as much trouble.

We won’t always make all the right choices all the time, we won’t always handle every situation the best we can, we are human, we are driven by sin nature, and thus we will undoubtedly make mistakes. It’s in those mistakes however we know how to seek forgiveness, and seek repentance when they do occur. It’s in those mistakes, those hardships that our true character is placed on display. We find out more about ourselves through our trials then when things are always a batch of roses. Just remember that even the prettiest of roses have thorns. Seek God for the answers to your troubles, and seek God to the direction of your path. You may not be able to get rid of regret, but you can minimize its impact.

 

 

How Do We Mend A Broken Heart? 

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How Do We Mend A Broken Heart? 

After 9 months of trying deeply to let go of the pain inside it has a habit of coming back strong and stronger. The feeling inside my chest, the emptiness that resides like a sledgehammer pounding on my chest and insides day in and day out. It never relents and as each day begins with a breath, the empty bed, the darkness, the quiet room all breaks my heart over and over.

The simple truth is I don’t know how to mend a broken heart. I’ve never been very good at it. What I can say is don’t do what I’ve done. With any pain there’s a time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to cry, and a time to soar. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.” For every amount of pain, every instances of joy, of pain and sorrow, of worry, of concern, of peace and war, there is a time for it all. I was recently talking with someone who’s marriage has fallen apart and she said so many people are there surrounding her all the time she wishes she had some alone time. Whilst me, I’m alone at work, I’m alone at home, and nearly every day it’s the same. There is a healthy balance in the grieving stage when you must get out of the house, you must spend time with people, but you also need to be able to sit back and reflect.

When we are heavy laden we must learn to turn to God and allow God into our hearts to lift us up. Psalms 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Also, Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Giving your sorrows to the Lord is something that comes with practice, but it’s not a magic wand, it won’t make you feel better that second. Loosing a loved one is always difficult and it doesn’t matter if they die or walk away. Truthfully the only true way to heal from heartbreak is to let time move on, distract yourself often, surround yourself by people who will help lift you up, and get out get out get out of the house. You cannot sit in the house surrounded by memories and expect to feel better.

God Gave Me You,

I’ve been a walking heartache

I’ve made a mess of me

The person that I’ve been lately

Ain’t who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me

Watch as the storm goes through

And I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs

God gave me you for the days of doubt

For when I think I’ve lost my way

There are no words here left to say, it’s true

God gave me you

 The truth behind this is Jesus. Jesus is here for us in the ups and downs. Jesus is here for us when we loose our way, but Jesus the everything in the world we’ve ever needed, even when we don’t know what we need. Jesus is our sword, our sword of vengeance, and our shield of protection. The morrow will come and when it does the world will continue to turn. Our pain will still be here, but will you get up with me and put on our big boy and big girl pants and continue to fight through the pain? Day in and day out no matter the trials we face we must continue to push through. We will never be the same again after this, but we need to learn to do one thing. We must, MUST learn to not give away the power over our happiness. We must learn to hold onto that for us and us alone. We cannot allow someone to break us like this over and over again. We must love everyone, we must love ourselves, but knowing that Christ is with us is the only power we should be giving away. Trusting in the Lord is a given, but trusting someone else with the button to control our foundation is a fatal mistake.

We know that there will never be a day promised without pain except the day after we breathe our last. The day we awake in Heaven is the day we will be without sorrow, without pain, without suffering. Revelation 21:4 “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” Until the day comes when the world is wiped away, or we are called home, pain is apart of our life, apart of our journey. Somehow, we must learn to embrace it, and use it to get us through our problems, one step at a time. No matter what book you read, what blog you’ll read, or any advice you’ll ever hear, the answers for recovery is not simple, nor can anyone help you through every part of your journey. And since there is no right answer to a quick fix, no straightforward course of action to make the pain go away all we can do is pray to God to help us on our journey, help us with the direction we must go. We must turn to Christ during our times of need because it’s in those times of need when we can be assured God is with us always.

 

 

200th Post : LET FREEDOM RING (HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY)

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200th LET FREEDOM RING (HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY)

Every day, is another series of steps. Don’t think about tomorrow, think about what you are accomplishing right this minute. You’ve got control this minute. And when the next minute comes, control that one. Don’t let your past failures dictate your thoughts for the future. Marvel in the grace of your successes.

In 1776 this country was founded winning its freedom from British rule. This was also the start of a movement to provide religious freedoms for all. The United States celebrated a major Bicentennial in 1976. Much like the accomplishment of that landmark date for me my 200th blog and that if falls on the July 4th Holiday is not some random coincidence, its providence: timely preparation for future eventualities. The protective care of God or of nature as a spiritual power. As we celebrate freedoms my blog is a symbol of a part of that freedom. In the United States for over 200 years now we’ve had the right to practice our religious beliefs without the fear of persecution. That however is falling to the wayside. Now if you offend someone by your religious beliefs you may be subject to legal lawsuits, or worse under criminal law. Today there are districts that force pastors to turn in to the city government their sermons for approval prior to preaching them. Prayer has been banned in schools around this great nation, prayer before a sporting event, prayer for the military is being banned, and more and more restrictions are being placed on the Christian faith. This was foretold in scripture and now as we see the rise of false doctrine, the rise of wolves in sheep’s clothing, we can only pray we remain faithful and as we become the persecuted church, we stand for God.

As I am now at my 200th blog post, the date in which I post is not lost on me. As my life has taken a new direction and I am starting this new journey I find the irony of God’s mercy and grace, and perfect timing are just that, perfect. We have so many freedoms in our country and one of them is to reinvent ourselves when we need to. Our past just like our past sins, they don’t always have to hold us back. Within reason our past doesn’t have to define our future. Baring any major criminal issues, we are free to journey to new lands, plant a flag, and build a new life. We are free from Sin because Jesus paid the price; he became the sacrificial Passover lamb, and as innocent blood was spilt, paid the price for the chains to be broken. The veil was broken, and the separation between God and man was dissolved. Matthew 27:51 “51 Then, behold, the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom; and the earth quaked, and the rocks were split,” The moment Christ died for us we gained new life, new freedom, the new Covenant that allowed us to be forgiven for our sins and not be held in bondage any longer, simply put Freedom was bought and paid for in blood.

Our country has fought many wars, some understandable, others perhaps questionable, but no matter the personal, or political opinions of any of the wars, the underlying message is the same, soldier’s fight and die for our country. It’s not up for debate when you join the military, you swear allegiance to this nation, to our flag and within that freedom of choice, you choose to fight for the freedoms spelled out in our constitution. “I do solemnly swear to uphold and defend against all enemies foreign and domestic.” Thousands upon thousands have died protecting this nation over the 200 plus years we’ve been here. As we’ve been free from the bonds of sin for just under 2000 years give or take, we often forget the true meaning behind Passover and what was done for us. Easter today is the rising of our Lord and Savior, the Son of God who underwent pain and suffering at the hands of man who enjoyed the savagery of tearing flesh from a man, causing more pain then the average person could ever take, and then humiliated further was forced to carry a wood cross a few miles to their own place of death, and then if the rest of the torture weren’t enough, to have metal spikes driven through your hands and feet and if you actually felt it if your body weren’t in shock already, the weight on your chest as you tried to hold yourself up despite the 4-5 inch spike through your feet. Red, to show the world the blood we’ve shed. Blue to show the world that we are true, white to show the world that we will fight. 3 colors, Red-the blood Christ had shed, Blue the Holy Spirit that is all round us, and White the brightness of the Heavenly Father that we cannot look at. No surprise that our flag has three colors and God is the trinity.

Like myself there are many others who where captivated by the movie wonder of Independence Day (1996) The President Whitmore speech always resonated with me. “Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. “Mankind.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night!” We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!” Mankind has been at war long since before Christ, and even after Christ we are still consumed with war, and death, and Sin. The blessings we have however are the sin that condemns us, only does so of our own free will. We are free to make our own choices, we are free to break a heart, or to help put it back together. We are free to fight, or bring peace. We are free to love, or to hate. We have the choice to declare war as a soldier for Christ, or a soldier for Satan. We have the freedom to pick a side and as a devoted soldier for Christ I tell the Devil, ‘I will not go quietly into the night, I will not vanish without a fight, I am going to live on, I am going to survive, because today I celebrate my independence day, free from annihilation of Sin that once held me.’

Since February 24th I have posted 200 times. I have used 200 of my own photos, I have used countless amounts of scripture, and the amount of time I have put in is incalculable. To this day I have had 1286 Visitors, 3628 Views, I’ve had 359 likes and 235 Comments. I have reached an astounding 51 countries and have had more support than I could have ever imagined for a small time blog like my own. God is absolutely at work with my little blog and I truly believe that God has moved me to write posts that have made people cry, posts that have made people laugh, and post that have touched hearts just when it needed to. Although feedback is sometimes few in between, I know that everyday my blog is being read by people from around the word as I have averaged 4-6 different countries a day. I do believe the most countries I ever hit in one day were 9. Surprisingly the most popular post I created was “Akula, kotorya Ne plavayet, Ne tonet. “The shark that does not swim, drowns.” Since it’s debut on April 9th 2017 this post has been viewed 214 times, blowing the rest of the others out of the water. The next closest blog is the Right Place at the Right Time, a blog that described a young man I came across involved in a roll over accident. The Shark that does not swim drowns discusses how we as people and Christians must always continue to move forward even when it’s hard. My personal belief of why this is so popular is because it’s about sharks, and the fact the first part is in Russian, just a coincidence. I get it, who doesn’t love sharks right? It astounds me every day I look at my stats I see at least 1 hit on this particular blog post and I can’t help but smile and laugh now. I never would have imagined any of my posts becoming popular enough to beat out IMDB when searched.

As my blog has continued to grow, and my support along with it, I would like to personally thank all those who first off made this blog a reality. My close friend Heather who led me to WordPress, and my Pastor Glen who continues to push my spiritual growth, my growth as a writer, and guides me when I start to stray off course. You both have been influential in my current success, and I know that God has placed you both in my life for a reason, and at just the right times for this to be possible. All I can do is thank you from the bottom of my heart, and pray for you both, as I continue to grow and make this ministry as big as God will allow. I know that in order for any of this to have happened a lot of things had to come to be first, and as God has been moving the pieces on the bored to have this happen, I know that this ministry is and will continue to do Gods work. God is always working in all of us, and I know that as for me, God’s not done with me yet.

The pride I feel to live in what’s still the greatest nation on earth, a nation where I am still free to practice my faith, write about my Love of Jesus Christ, and tell others about my love. I am proud to know that I can share my testimony with others without fear and hold my head high and tell the world I am a proud Christian, a free Christian, free from persecution, and free from the bonds of Sin.

As I continue to move forward with this blog I pray God continues to bless me. I pray that as I move forward my new ministry, my new brainchild will be born. As I continue to grow I want to create a Christian outreach program for Veteran Suicide Prevention. I want to reach out to veterans and with the Gospel spread the word of hope, of love, and in that they will see the hope in tomorrow. Through Jesus Christ there is always hope and freedom. Veterans who fight for this country are sadly often forgotten and as veterans often move towards isolation they try to fight the fight alone. The truth is none of us veterans are alone and it’s in our faith we can be brought together. It’s in that faith we are told to help pick up one another’s burdens and help carry their crosses. My new ministry will be unique and with God’s blessing will grow and touch lives. Please pray and with the support of my followers I may take my dream and turn it to a reality.

The Devil tries day in and day out to break our spirits, to pull us away from God, to destroy our perspective to God. When we consider who the true enemy is, and what’s truly at steak there’s a quote I think of. William Wallace “Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live… at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM!”

 

Walking Judgments

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Walking Judgments 7-2-17

As I walk through my building with mud from my boots to my knees I am filled with so many negative judgments of myself. I get the impression the people in the building are staring at me. I imagine what they are thinking, and envision the thoughts of disgust and jokes. I felt insecure and embarrassed by my appearance. The more I walked through the building a second judgment started to creep into my mind. No one noticed, I think to myself. Was that true? Had no one noticed in 7 floors did no one notice my dreadful appearance? Then I try to imagine which one was worse, that fact those who did probably passed negative judgments, or that I am so insignificant at my job that no one would notice at all.

Bad judgments all around swirl in an out of thought with little regard of a purpose. It’s hard going through life always casting judgments around like a snow blizzard falling to the ground. We try and try to squish the uprising before they reach the surface, but always too little too late.

Checking The Facts:

 

  1. I was involved with the rescue of a man who was ejected from his vehicle.
  2. Without going home I was already doing to be 20 minutes late for work
  3. I did a good thing by stopping and helping.
  4. Negative judgments happen and we can’t always change that.

It’s hard to face when we think those thoughts and feelings control our day. The truth is, we often give away so much power to others, and we keep very little for ourselves. The pain we hold onto deep inside is often the reason we give up so much, and allow so much negativity to infect or infest our lives.

Are our biggest self-judgments linked to our biggest fear? I believe the answer is yes. For example my biggest fear is abandonment. When I am dating someone I feel I will not be good enough and they will leave. When I’m working I fear I won’t be good enough at my job, or not be needed at my position. The truth is when it comes to both the judgments of others shouldn’t affect me as much as they do. We obviously know the old saying “sticks and stones my break my bones but names will never hurt me.” We know that’s a crock of crap. We know that words do hurt because were human, and we have feelings. We know that bullying does hurt us, that someone we love when they say cruel things often cut the deepest. The key to overcoming that is repetitive action of telling yourself Jesus loves you, and the judgment of God is the most important thing. We cannot live our lives listening to the lies were told by the world.

Today’s society is obsessed by looks, everything on TV is about looking right, makeup, fashion, and as always TV shows must have the most attractive people on the planet. We watch this worldview all around us and it sinks in and when we look in the mirror we don’t see that perfect image. I myself have struggled with my limitations and even recently as I’ve tried to get back into the dating world, I see myself as a failure. It’s a tough pill to swallow and when it seems there’s so much against you it’s hard not to pass judgments upon yourself. I’m not very good at this myself; I’m not good at keeping a positive attitude about myself. I often think negative thoughts about my looks, my voice, my life, and I often think of myself as a failure in my love life and even my professional life. To top it off as more and more of my close friends are becoming parents I look at my own life and as 7 years with my ex wife came to a close and realizing I still don’t have the family I’ve always prayed for, the children I’ve always wanted, I judged myself to be a failure and I truly felt it deep down into my heart. I realize this isn’t Gods plan for me, and I realize the little voice feeding me the negative emotions, the harmful thoughts are Satan whispering in my ear, and it’s incredibly difficult to ignore.

As I confess my deepest fears, my deepest failings, I don’t do so to gather sympathy, but the opposite, to spread hope. As I have been faced with so much in the last year, and throughout my life, I know that God is still on my side, I know that all these years of pain God’s been there in the trenches with me. “I’ve paid my dues, time after time, I’ve done my sentence but committed no crime. And bad mistakes I’ve made a few. I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face but I’ve come through… We are the champions, my friends, and we’ll keep on fighting ‘til the end.” We all know the song, we all know Queen’s ‘We are the Champions’. Let me tell you, as long as we have God on our side, we are the champions of this world, because we will live in Eternity with the creator of all. We will overcome all our trials, our troubles, and we will be dubbed champions over death, if we just allow Christ into our lives. In Christ we will always rise above hate, bigotry, fear, sorrow, loss, and disappointment. We never know what tomorrow will bring. We will always feel the rainbow of emotions, but we will always have help getting through the tough days we WILL have. Have faith in the lord. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understand. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Do you want to win the battle or do you want to win the war?

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Do you want to win the battle or do you want to win the war?

“Better to retire and save your aircraft than push a bad position.” Viper We get into fights and arguments all the time, for all kinds of different reasons. Most of it is a different point of view based on ones past and not knowing how to truly listen and understand the other person. We as a society have lost the simple ability to listen with any kind of empathy, or even care to the other person’s point of view. Our differences are important, but understanding and respecting those differences is equally as important.

When we talk about marriage and long term relationships, or any relationship for that matter it’s important to realize conflict will come up in every relationship. When conflict comes up the key is not to avoid it, but to learn how to successfully iterate your point of view, accept the other persons, and find a common ground solution. I personally have not been very good at this in the past. I’m not usually the type to go into hulk mode, yell and scream, hulk smash sort of thing, but I would instead use a logical approach, use data and facts to back up my argument. Now most would say that’s a great way to go at it, however, while sometimes it’s a good way, others it can be a great determent. When the argument has an emotional side and the other person has an emotional response to the argument, not asking or understanding that POV can be hurtful to the other person. If you are like me, and in the past I would say well these are the facts, and because of that, everything else is wrong, that can make the other person feel rejected because you didn’t take the time to listen or understand the how or the why they feel that way.

If we take just a little bit of time to question if the argument or disagreement we’re in is important or now we can avoid a lot of problems just by throwing in the towel sooner. One of my major faults was to approach the argument by way of evidence and if it were rejected I’d try to give the evidence a different spin and present again. Sadly, repeating an argument doesn’t usually get you anymore, so learn from me, and don’t do that. Maybe once or twice, but even that second try of repeating may not be a good idea. A Christians we are taught in James 1:19 “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:” This isn’t a suggestion, this is what we are told to do. When we listen, and listen with empathy we can learn a great deal about the other side of the table.

When we are at the table we should learn one particularly useful trait and with the empathetic listening we should also use the art of negotiations. If the debate is getting out of hand we should learn how to back up, and open the table to negotiations for a compromise. Trust me guys and gals, it’s better to both loose something in the negotiations rather then loose each other. If we for just one second try to look through God’s eyes and use God’s heart we may just learn it’s better to just let go, because whatever you’re arguing about may not be important in a few days, or even a few hours. Some big decisions should be handled with lots of prayer and open lines of communication, but always learn to compromise and negotiate. Always learn why the other person feels the way they do.

If you want a long, strong, healthy relationship it’s best to learn the skills of how to effectively present your side of any discussion and learn how to ask for the other. Get all the facts. When you’re angry or frustrated check the facts, see if your emotions match the level situation. We can often be more frustrated then we should be, we can be more angry than we should be, and it’s important to be able to catch when those things happen.

Remember when you love someone whatever the argument is, it’s probably not worth the fight. Once we get to fighting we’ve lost track of the point of love. Love your neighbors as yourself which means fighting with them is hurting you too. As Viper said in top Gun it’s better to retire then get yourself into a bad situation.

Don’t hide behind the wall

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Don’t hide behind the wall

 “Christians often want to hide behind the walls of the church, where we are comfortable, but sometimes we have to come out of the box.” Cheryl James

We as Christians are all afraid of something. Some are afraid to go and proclaim their faith at work. Some fear going abroad and putting themselves in situations that make them uncomfortable. What are we hiding behind? Do we build our walls to protect ourselves from life? I know a great many people who’ve been hurt in the past and they proclaim to the heavens, “I’m never dating again, I’m better off alone.” The truth is this statement is them putting up a wall and hiding from their pain, or pain they think might come if they come out from behind the wall they’ve erected.

Fear can push us to recluse ourselves to an extreme level. Some people who’ve been hurt curl up inside themselves putting up walls so no one can see them, no one can get close. Being hurt that bad from those closest to us, or those whom we love dearly isn’t new. Someone told me recently that, “being cheated on is apart of life, it happens.” Sadly she was right that it does happen. The area we disagreed on is the emotionless response. Anyone who goes through pain like that is owed their time to it. We are human and we have feelings. The important thing about that is making sure we only put up healthy defenses.

In Ephesians 6:16 “In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;” It’s important to know what to shield yourself from and what to let in. You can’t hide behind the shield all the time. Sooner or later you have to come out and breath the fresh air again. In the early church Christians hid in the Catacombs to teach and preach. Of course this is different when you’re hiding to preserve your life, that makes sense. Hiding to preserve the possibility of getting hurt, something in which may or may not happen is something many Christians need to work on. We all feel what we feel and we all handle differently. We cannot or rather should not judge how someone handles a situation, but rather as Christians help them so they can manage in a scripturally sound way.

Matthew 5:14-16 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that[a] they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” The light of the lord shines through and cannot be hidden. As is such your heart, your life, you cannot hide away your feelings and expect to remain safe. I am reminded of the Battle of Helms Deep in the second of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The wall had never been breached before. King Theoden was confident that the wall would hold off the horde. He was confident that in all the years since it’s construction no one had ever breached the wall, and thus the plan was just to keep them off the walls and continue to hold them off. If we put our faith in the wall, that wall will eventually fail us. Saruman the white wizard found a weakness in the wall and once exploited the wall would never again be the same, a bomb of sorts placed in a small drain detonated and blew a 60-foot wide hole in the wall allowing the enemy to flood into the fortress.

If we think our walls are strong enough to hold out the world we are sadly mistaken. No wall we can ever create for ourselves is strong enough to withstand the onslaught of the Devil’s attacks. The only shield you can ever count on is that in which is built upon Christ. If we allow the Holy Spirit to cover us that’s the only wall we can ever count on. Even the Roman Empire’s walls as strong as they were eventually fell. Do not hide behind your own fear. Do not allow yourself to shut yourself in and hide away from the world. Only bad things happen when we shut everyone and everything out that loves us.

 

 

Judge Me Not

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Judge me not when I fall, instead judge me with how I lift myself up. Call out my sins and hold me accountable. Praise me for my righteous actions and as a child of Christ help me stay on the path. Galatians 6:1 “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” And again in 1 Timothy 5:20 “As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.” We will ALL fall short of the glory of God. We will all stumble along the way. Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;” We must never give up on those we love. WE are commanded in Luke 15:4 ““What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it?” We must be there for those in need. We must also know how to reach to the lord ourselves. Lementations 3:22 “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Never forget that God knows us. The breath of life in our bodies is a gift from God. We all need to remember that God is the way. Jesus is our light. When you’re in the dark call to Christ and the light shall shine brighter then the day. We all fall short, we all make mistakes and we all have pain. Be there for your brothers and sisters when they hurt, be there to show them the way. Be there to witness and be an example. Live as close to Christ as we can. And always remember “What Would Jesus Do”?

Safe Journey

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Safe Journey

A close friend of my, my Pastor left on a trip to Europe, and this just after two terrorist attacks in Europe, the UK to be specific. This reminded me of the story so often played out in the Bible, the New Testament to be exact. Luke 4: 28-30 “All the people in the synagogue were furious when they heard this. They got up, drove him out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him off the cliff. But he walked right through the crowd and went on his way.” Jesus knew when it was time to go, and time to stay. Jesus was well aware of his surroundings, and we could learn a thing or two.

No matter where we go, or what we’re doing we know that God is always with us, so the scripture says. If the journey is long and dangerous which it is, then it looks like Jesus is the muscle, our bodyguard, our protector. Matthew 6:25 “Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; not yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more then meat, and the than rainment? This verse goes on to say all things will be provided to the faithful, and worrying about the day or tomorrow doesn’t actually give you any more ability or power to change the outcome. You can worry about being taller all day long, but that doesn’t mean you will get taller. Psalm 23:4 The Valley of the Shadow Of Death, yet peace and comfort come.

I’ve traveled a lot of places in my 33 years on this world. I have had good and bad travels. The closest I ever came to death or at least as it appeared from where I was standing, or better put nearly falling, was returning to Camp Junction City in Ar-Ramadi from my R&R in Qatar. We were in a C-130 headed for Baghdad. There was a sandstorm while we were supposed to land so we circled for a while. At some point the decision was made to send us back to Qatar, but we needed something first, fuel. The mid air refuel wouldn’t take too long once the plane arrived with two F-16 escorts. The sandstorm was getting pretty bad from what we were told. Just after the fueling process was over we started to turn to make our way back to Qatar. When the F-16’s broke off to head back to where they came from apparently one of them suffered severe engine failure and began to crash. The pilot ejected and was later recovered unharmed. As for us we returned to the bright and sunny island where I’d spend another week before a second transport attempt. On the second trip to Baghdad we were carrying a slew of gym equipment. This time when we reached the City we circled because there was a good bit of firefights around the area we were supposed to land. We’d been circling for a bit when we decided to stand and walk around the plane. Without warning the plane banked hard to the starboard side. My feet went out from under me and I reached up to grab the piece of equipment that I was hopping was safely secured to the deck plate. One of the guys wasn’t so lucky and he hit the bench and the wall of the plane. He screamed he was all right though so not to worry. We leveled off and the pilot told us to get back to the seats and hold on tight. We started to nose dive and the pit of your stomach flew straight into your throat. We leveled out again and without any notice the landing gear dropped and seconds later we were back on Iraqi soil. Once we landed we received word the reason for the drastic and violent course changes was because we were taking fire. The pilot told us it was small arms fire but still following procedure, no one was seriously injured. Our trip came to an abrupt end, but it ended safely.

We realize that in our walk with Christ we aren’t always going to be safe. We realize that sometimes that safety is only an illusion, because in Christianity we may be called to go places where it’s not safe, where being a Christian is still punishable by death. We don’t have to worry about that here in the United States, however, what we have might be far worse for our walk with Christ. We have the world. The world as we know it is corrupt and evil. The world tries to get us, it tries to get us to sin in all different kinds of ways. The world wants us to fail, and the attack on our souls in the US might be worse than the attacks on our bodies in some of the other countries. We have our ways to protect ourselves but only if we carry it with us in our hearts, that’s the word and Holy Spirit of God. When we go out into the world to proclaim the name of Christ we need to keep our wits about us. We must be careful because the Devil slithers around seeking for his next target.

Each and every one of us in on our own journey, our own path, running our own race and at every step of that race there can be an obstacle for us to face. The race is not a sprint, but a marathon for us that will take endurance and patience. 2 Timothy 4:7 “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.” How will you finish your journey, will it be strong, pushing yourself, or will you fall and give up on yourself? God won’t give up on you, so you shouldn’t. You’re stronger then you think you are, and if our God is for us, who then can be against us?

Driving In The Dark

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Driving In The Dark

0445 hours, the road is dark, there’s no one driving, no one except me. The time between the stars and the sun has come. The headlights brighten the road, but just out of the beams are the things that creep in the dark. I can see raccoons, deer, skunk, fox, rabbits, and squirrels often on my early morning drive. Do we live our lives driving in the dark? Do we follow the barely lit road never knowing the next curve ahead, never seeing the dangers that lurk just beyond the headlights? Life in the fast lane, the lines go by as a blur. We’re blinded by the darkness. John 1:5  “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

 Some people think it’s hard to find God. Some people think the “rules” are to much to ask for. Every time I hear people say that being a Christian requires to much I always think of the quote from Scotty in Trek 2009 “The notion of transwarp beaming is like trying to hit a bullet with a smaller bullet whilst wearing a blindfold, riding a horse.” Really people, it’s not that difficult. There are 12 rules. That’s it. Doesn’t see so hard if you think about it like that. How many laws are there in the country that we have to obey? No one complains about having to uphold those laws, but the laws of the Bible are to many? Proverbs 4:19 “The way of the wicked is like darkness; They do not know over what they stumble.” No matter the road you’re on, no matter how far you’ve traveled in the darkness Jesus promised to shine the light on all the world and rid the world of darkness for all those who follow him. Isaiah 42:16 “I will lead the blind by a way they do not know, In paths they do not know I will guide them I will make darkness into light before them And rugged places into plains These are the things I will do, And I will not leave them undone.”

 We love the world, we love the sin, the gluttony, the sex, the drugs and booze, we as humans gravitate to sin. We as a people have become consumed with sin in our every day life we see it no matter where we turn. Sin has a particular hold on us, and it’s only with the power of Christ can we overcome it, move past it, fight back. John 3:19 “This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil.” Sin isn’t easy to fight back against, but when we lean on Christ it’s bearable. The light ahead of us gives us the one thing we didn’t have before Christ, and that’s hope. Christ’s blood gave us hope. The eternal storm we were promised has not been washed away, instead we still endure the storms of this world, but we now have that lighthouse to guide our ships by. Don’t let your ship get tossed in the waves, find the guiding light and push through the waves, the rain, the clap of the thunder, the dangers of lightning. Luke 1:79 “to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.”

 We don’t need to drive in the darkness. We only need to seek out the light and the darkness will fade away. No longer do we suffer forever, we have been given Hope. Finding hope isn’t has hard as people think it is. Finding hope is one step away, one selfless release, and pure surrender. Surrender unto the Lord and ye shall be rewarded. Where are you men and women of courage, it’s time to be courageous and surrender and fall to your knees with lifted hands.

 

 

 

 

Freedom

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Freedom

Today a weight lifted from my shoulders. The world lifted such a heavy burden today. Months of prayer have finally paid off. I don’t know why it took so long to have this wrap up, to finally be free of my chains, but today was the day.

Anyway we are chained down, we all have trials, and we all have burdens. What is your trouble? What is your own prison that holds your mind, your body behind? No matter what that looks like know that there is always a key to every lock, there’s always a parachute for every jump.

The length of time it takes to overcome a trial, or even the steepness of that mountain to cross doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you can take the step forward, one step after another and continue to push forward till the mission is completed. As a veteran I know the price of freedom is high, but I know that in the pursuit and conquest of peace is one of a driving force intent on success. Some days of course are going to be harder then others. Some days will feel as dark as can be as depressing and bleak then you’ve ever felt.

Carrying a burden and lifting others up is important. Fighting for freedom is a road that will ever be traveled alone. Galatians 5:1 “Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.” Some say freedom is free, but I tend to disagree. I say freedom is won, by the barrel of a gun. The cost of that freedom is high. Men and women die in the pursuit of that freedom. Freedom to be able to face your accuser in a court of law, to being able to vote as young black women. No matter what you are free from, persecution, bondage, finances, and hurtful relationships, anything that essentially holds you prisoner.

Know that prayer is powerful and beyond a doubt a strong weapon in the fight for freedom. John 8:32 “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” I find myself free at last. The last two months have felt crushing and I have never stopped my prayers. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” No matter the hurt, the pain, the beauty that is to come is there for the taking. Freedom is allowing your voice to be heard.

8 months ago I found a family I never knew I had. Ever since the group walked in my hospital room and I cried, I knew that I would survive and thrive. Your fight for freedom isn’t one you have to have to take alone. Be free of the pain, be free of the worry, and you can find yourself scaling the mountainous dilemma in front of you.