Tag: Bible Verse

Patiently Waiting

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Patiently Waiting

When Change happens unexpectedly we don’t always understand why. We can’t always see the reason for it, and we can only hope and lean back on faith to except what’s happened. We see in scripture over and over how patience is rewarded. We see the need to trust in God’s plan. We see in Galatians 4:21-22 the author is talking about the repercussions of not following the plan God lays out for us. Abraham was told he would sire children, but as his age increased he became more and more skeptical. He became impatient and took his wife hand madden into his bedchamber and she became pregnant. His actions once outside the will of God had dire consequences that have shaped the known world as we see it today. Eventually he would fall back to God and the promise made to him was kept. Him and his wife did have children.

As it seems opportunities come into my life and leave just as abruptly, it’s a hard life longing for something so deeply and being told by god the time isn’t right. Watching as people come and go and yet as much as it pains me to see them leave, I am not and have always been powerless to stop it. As the rising tide of the flood comes it’s inevitable and we cannot stop it. We are powerless to stop the approaching tornado and the destruction left in it’s wake. We are told the trials would come and to be prepared for them. As I’ve noted there is a difference in training and then the actual mission. Before every mission we had a brief but rarely did the mission go exactly according to plan. We always had to adapt and overcome. We train to know how to react when the plan flies off the rails. Often time disaster strikes when we loose our patience and act impulsively. Life is not a sprint, yet in our time, everyone is in a hurry to get everywhere. We always want everything right away. The problem with patience is when you’re forced to play the long game, it can feel like an eternity when it’s something you desire most.

I’d say one of the hardest moments is when you know something wonderful has come into your life, and when the Devil destroys that hope. For me it feels like the Devil’s games have been never ending and designed to break my hope and my spirits. I won’t lie, the latest attack has taken a horrible toll for me. Just when life seemed to be turning around, and hope seemed stronger then it’s been in over a year, the Devil’s whispers, and fear caused a cascade failure, and everything went like Chernobyl. Sadly the Devil is meddling in my life and just won’t let me have any peace. Philippians 4:6-7 “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” It’s been difficult for me to follow what I know to be true. The pain left from disappointment is so strong, it’s hard to remain focused on the big picture, and remember that God’s still in control, and his will, will be done, and eventually it’ll work out. Philippians 4:11-14 “11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me. 14 Yet it was kind of you to share[a] my trouble.” Paul knows the difficult road some of us were bound to endure. In his ministry he saw his on share of hardships from beatings, to shipwrecks, to what’s likely a physical ailment that plagued him for a long time. In all things though, and in all areas of his travels, and through all the hardships, he writes that he has found peace in knowing God is still in control, and nothing in this life can remove his salvation in the blood of Jesus Christ.

We must remember even in our impatience a Thanksgiving turkey will not cook faster because we try to will it to happen. The best things in life often take longer to have. We can try to speed up the process, but if we try to go against God’s plan or his wish for us, what we obtain will undoubtedly fail us. The pursuit to contentment starts with faith, prayer, and learning to live more in the moment and take your gaze away from tomorrow.

My Heavenly father, as I watch in disappointment at yet another failure, I lift my plea to you. Please look into my heart and if it be your will, please show me the path to get what I desire most. I have suffered much, and long, and I pray to you to remove this thorn from my side. Please help my broken heart mend, and provide me the courage and strength to keep up the fire, to face another day as I struggle with shame and guilt. My God please hear my prayer and rescue me from the darkness of despair. In your Holy Name, Amen.

Blur of the Nights

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Blur of the Nights

The nights all seem the same, no change, and no growth, just the endless monotony that there seems to be no reprieve. How do we fight the darkness that builds when we star to fall into a state of depression? Sometimes the struggle is very real and in our struggles we can get lost in the blur of the night.

We pray and we hope that someday sometime the change will come. We don’t know when or how but we have to believe it’s coming. We need to rest our weary head on Gods shoulder and let Him take care of us. Let God wipe our tears and dry our face. Look into the eyes of the storm and brace for the worst. The rain comes and it goes and we may take some damage but we will make it through. Believe in yourself and know you’re stronger then you think you are. It is always darkest just before the dawn, so know that when all light seems lost, the Sun is just about to rise. Don’t loose sight of the Golden Ring and keep racing the race. Take it in stride and never quit. While you’re going through Hell, someone else might be going through the same hell and you’re on a collision course. Keep your chin up and reach, reach for the sky and keep going.

Matthew 5:3-14 3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. 5 “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. 6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. 7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. 8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. 9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons[a] of God. 10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. We are blessed, and we are often forgetting what we do have, and how it could be worse. While that in no way lessens or undermines the fight you’re in, we must try to find the blessings even if it’s just small stuff.

For me the nights blur together and I struggle to keep myself from falling into depression. The lack of social interaction outside of my four walls has been getting to me lately. Despite my efforts to go beyond the digital ‘friends’ I have by way of Internet, and my phone, I have not expanded my social circle at all. We must never give up, and when your days start to blur together, we should try and find ways to break up the monotony. Volunteer, travel, nature hikes, or just going to the movies on your own, we must be active to stay off depression. Don’t let it creep in and destroy you. Depression is so hard to fight and we don’t want to fight when it’s to late. Don’t give up on your day, but try to improve your lifestyle by finding things of interest you can easy achieve. Don’t be afraid to take chances to change your days. We never know what we can do, or achieve.

 

Financial Peace, and Gifts

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Financial Peace, and Gifts

The stories that tell us of our lives and the stories that shape the future in such a simple setting, like an old kitchen table. The reality over the dream is the truth we all must face at some point. We all look at our own battlefield with shame, guilt, and hopelessness. The battles we face aren’t the end, and although it’s hard, and terrifying, and it’s sometimes a huge hole we find ourselves in, there is one undeniable truth, one truth that buries the so-called truths that the world shoves down our throats, God’s word. God’s word sets our path, and it’s a tried and true path that no matter what battlefield we are on, the Word of God shows us the trail we must walk. That path isn’t easy, it’s not fun, and it will often kick you in the face.

Are we a nation of doers or reactionists? We are a nation that we react when bad things happen, when we walk through the path it’s like we pick up the rocks and place them in our packs till we can’t stand anymore. We pile so much on ourselves that we become over encumbered. We find ourselves unable to move and we don’t know how or why we can’t move. When we realize how we got to where we are that’s the first step. Once you get to the point where you’re tired of carrying the dead weight, you must first realize you have to stop doing what you’ve been doing. Change the way you think about your life, and change the focus and once you do, it’s only a matter of time for you to push away the rocks, and you can one day stand back up and get back on the right trail.

We must learn to stop embracing the bad decisions, we must learn to make the hard choices, and pick up the right cross and follow Jesus. We do have a choice and with that choice we must understand that anything worthwhile is worth putting forth the effort. No matter what we want if it’s good for us we must learn to work towards it. If we learn how to live a Godly life, and we learn to focus our emotions and eventually we will learn to reap what we sew. No matter where we find ourselves we must learn to be ready for the storms for when they come, not if they come. Make sure that you have your insurance policy to prepare you for when life happens. Scripture is our insurance, our understanding of life, and when we change how we live our lives, we will actually see the change in how often the ‘bad’ things happen.

When I was on a trip to Indiana on my return to North Carolina I hit something in the road and it cost me a few hundred dollars to fix the car. When I had the money to fix it and I wasn’t freaking out. I had the money, and without a second thought I was able to put the tire on the car, drive home, work out the insurance claim, and within a few weeks I had my car fixed and my money back. When we are disciplined in our faith we find that we actually becoming spiritually mature. Hebrews 12:11 “­­­­­For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.“ Positive it’s going to rain.” (Dave Ramsey) In Dave Ramsey’s words an unexpected event will happen to 78% of people in 10 years. It’s our job to not just think of this in a sense of money, but in every aspect of our lives. We need to prepare for what’s to come because it’s not a matter if they come, we know for sure that Murphey is going to knock on the door, and we want to be able to tell Murphey we’re ready for it. It’s almost proven that when you show God you’re ready, you’ll actually have less problems.

Proverbs 21:20 “Precious treasure and oil are in a wise man’s dwelling, but a foolish man devours it.” When we use up all of our savings, or we don’t save at all we are a fool. I personally believe this isn’t just about money. We have so many blessings in our life, and I believe that this also means we shouldn’t take those blessings for granted. We shouldn’t hoard our natural treasures. We must be faithful with the gifts we are given. We must learn to save up for when the troubles start. Proverbs 26:20 “For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.” We must never take for granted the abundance but instead share, and plan for the tough times. When we appropriate God’s grace, we will remain in favor. We don’t want to squander what we have and get lost along the way.

 

 

 

 

 

What I Gave Away

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What I Gave Away

All my life I wanted to be accepted by my friends. All my life I wanted to be liked by those around me. For whatever reason I have always had the need to fit in, I just never felt like I have. I spent the first part of my life being tortured in school being told I was ugly, that I looked like particular animals. I was laughed at for things that would happen to me, I was picked on for things that were traumatic in my home life, and no matter what I did I never found a way out. Eventually the teasing became physical. I was beat up after school, I was shoved around in school. I was given a swirley. My shoes were taken and thrown into urinals, and in the hallways my books where kicked around the hallways. When I liked a girl and people found out I was teased because she was so far out of my league everyone thought I was crazy. That’s when the mean tricks started. I was told that she actually thought I was cute and wanted to kiss me. Obviously they lied, and well, getting slapped across the face was a good clue I was lied to. Ever since then I have gone out of my way to get people to like me. Sadly, even as I got older and the place from which my actions came where honest and sincere, I would find that I was still not part of the ‘in’ crowd’. I would never truly be accepted, and I would find in time that I gave away parts of me that were my self esteem, my self worth, my heart, and my generosity would be taken advantage of time and time again. What I gave away was the best parts of me, just to all the wrong people.

To this day I haven’t quite found where I fit in. I feel like I’m a million miles from everyone in a crowded room. I feel like everyone’s moving all around me, talking to one another while I’m listening, watching, just entirely unsure of what to say. I never found how to interact with people. I never became someone anyone wanted to be around. I never found myself as accepted. I’ve always been a little different. I’ve always been a little nerdy. I’ve always been a little quirky, and sadly, it’s never gotten me anywhere. When I was in High School I often helped out as a counselor for my fellow classmates. I would give advice, and I would be an ear to listen, and in some cases I was a shoulder to cry on. Always a friend, never more, but on the rare occasion I was more, I wasn’t for long. I became the guy people would leave behind. When it came time to get married I never thought that I would be left behind again, but I was. I was cheated on, and lied to, and humiliated. I was displaced and forced to leave an entire country with nothing. I gave the best part of me and it was thrown away like used trash. Years later I would find myself loving another, and it seemed like that love was something special. After four years of marriage she would cheat, and again I was left wondering what I had done. I felt like I had given my everything and I felt as if I had been understanding, respectful, loving, caring, and yet it wasn’t good enough. I asked myself what I had done wrong? I blamed myself, and with all that anger, all that rage, I pointed it literally at myself. I poured every bit of blame into a tiny punch. The pain I felt was amplified by my anger at failure in my life. Every hurt I felt, every promise broken. Every loss I watched in front of me, death, and abandonment, all wrapped into the same moment. Years of abandonment, years of suffering, years of anger built up and at the center of it all I was the common denominator thus I was the one to blame. My value had been given to others to define. I allowed others to tell me if I was worth it or not. I gave away the very part of myself that is supposed to stay with you, knowing that you are a child of the one true King. You’ve been saved, changed and set free from bondage. Yet I would believe the lies I was told and I fell for the Devils schemes.

How do you come back from all of that? How do you change the years of behavior built into your personality? How do you rid yourself of years of heart, and conditioning? Sadly, I don’t have the answer for you. What I do have is a direction. You are a child of the Lord and the Lord doesn’t do anything by accident. You are not an accident. You are beautifully created for a purpose and we know that each of us has gifts, and a roll to play in the big picture. We all have our reason for being here and that we must trust in the big plan. We may experience the worst that humanity has to offer. We may undergo pain, and suffering on a regular basis, more then our fair share it seems, but perhaps we have suffered long for a reason. Maybe you can make the difference in a life.

Hard Love, By: Needtobreathe

Hold on tight a little longer
What don’t kill ya, makes ya stronger
Get back up, ’cause it’s a hard love
You can’t change without a fallout
It’s gon’ hurt, but don’t you slow down
Get back up, ’cause it’s a hard love

You know the situation can’t be right
And all you ever do is fight
But there’s a reason that the road is long
It takes some time to make your courage strong

 It’s not easy being an outcast, but at the foot of the cross we are all the same. When it comes to the cross the bullies who lived a cruel life will have to answer for that cruelty. We cannot let the world stain or harden our hearts. We must learn to give because we are pulled in our heart to do so. We must help because we want to. We must love live Christ loved. We must treat others fairly, and never loose sight of the love we were given that fateful day 2000 years ago. Christ sacrificed himself because of His love for us. We were never deserving of it, but we have it anyway. Those bullies in our lives don’t deserve it, but perhaps they are one step away from seeing the error of their ways and they turn around from the path they were on. We never know how our love and kindness will make an affect, and we must keep loving no matter how much it hurts. We can’t give up on this life. We cannot give up on our commandments, and once we realize that those who treated us that way cannot define who we are, then we may start to realize that power we gave away, we can actually take it back. For all those who’ve been bullied, and tortured, and beat up, and treated badly, you’re something special. You’ve endured hardships and yet you are still loving. Keep loving others, and keep giving, but more importantly, never stop loving yourself. Love others and help others because it’s the right thing to do. Do this knowing you will likely never get anything in return for it, and you may never see it come back to you, but we don’t love for the return, we love because it’s right. Stop giving away your value to others. Stop giving your happiness when others don’t deserve to have it. Psalm 146:3 “Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help.” Scripture is clear about putting our trust in people. Isaiah 2:22 “Stop regarding man in whose nostrils is breath, for of what account is he?” God is faithful and never lies, never breaks a promise, and forever bares the truth. Numbers 23:19 “God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” The words of a man do not make them true. The cruel things someone says, even someone who claimed to love you isn’t necessarily the truth, so don’t allow the falsehoods spoken through a wicked tongue define you. It’s easier said then done of course, I myself haven’t gotten the hang of it, but the truth is the truth. Have faith in the word, and the word shall set you free.

 

 

 

 

FRIENDS

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FRIENDS

When things are tough you like to think there will be people in your life, your friends who will be there for you. When the world falls down upon your head and it might hurt a lot from the year’s battles, just remember you have people who care for you.

The song that comes to mind

I’ll Be there for you By The Rembrants

So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job’s a joke, you’re broke
Your love life’s D.O.A
It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear
When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month
Or even your year, but

I’ll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I’ll be there for you
(Like I’ve been there before)
I’ll be there for you
(‘Cause you’re there for me too)

You’re still in bed at ten
And work began at eight
You’ve burned your breakfast, so far
Things are going great
Your mother warned you there’d be days like these
But she didn’t tell you when the world has brought
You down to your knees and

I’ll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I’ll be there for you
(Like I’ve been there before)
I’ll be there for you
(‘Cause you’re there for me too)

No one could ever know me
No one could ever see me
Seems you’re the only one who knows
What it’s like to be me
Someone to face the day with
Make it through all the rest with
Someone I’ll always laugh with
Even at my worst, I’m best with you, yeah

It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear
When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month
Or even your year

 

Do we have a friend that we can count on? Do we have someone that will be there for us no matter what? I like to think that I am at the very least that person for others.

Proverbs 18:24 “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

 Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

 Friends may come and go sometimes, but it’s important to remember this holiday who your true friends are. Who’s been there for you every step of the way, who loves you for you, and who isn’t going anywhere? When your love life is DOA, when it hasn’t been your day, your month, or even your year, I’ll be there for you.

 

 

 

The Kindness of Strangers

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The Kindness of Strangers

A few days ago I was visiting an old colleague at Walmart. I wasn’t going to go originally but while I was in Hawaii I got a gift for them. After walking around the store for a while we went out to the parking lot. I wasn’t in the parking lot for more then just a few minutes when a truck pulls up. The man inside grabs my attention and asks me to come over to the vehicle. He wishes me a Merry Christmas after putting up his fist. I expected a fist bump but he grabbed my wrist and turned my hand over. He extended his hand and places something in my hand. I thank him not knowing what I was handed and he drives off.

I’ve asked myself what I may have done to deserve such a gracious gift. I was wearing my Cavalry Hat with a 2nd ID pin. I had my service dog with me, and perhaps that’s why I was chosen, or perhaps as I told my associate pastor, “A nod from God, an atta boy.” You see, I have been giving money to my church for a family in need. I’ve been doing it a few months now, and it seems every time I have something amazing has happened to me within a few weeks. The saying goes “you can’t out give God.” These days that seems to be absolutely true.

The man gave me a $100 bill. It’s a generous gift and one I don’t feel I deserved or earned. One I intend on paying forward though. That is the nature of Christmas isn’t it? Good will towards your fellow man. We are the tip of the spear for the Lord. We do the Lords work. We fight the good fight against the wiles of the Devil. When we give without selfishness or unrighteous reasons, we stand up to the Devil who wants us to forsake the weak, forget the hurting, and focus on just ourselves. 2 Corinthians 9:7 “Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, [so let him give]; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.” We must follow the Holy Spirit within our hearts and know that we that give and be good stewards of what we’ve been given. Know that all gifts are gifts from above. Proverbs 11:24-25 “One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.” When we give as God commands we are rewarded in full. The Kindness of strangers is a nice gentle reminder that God’s still there looking out for us. Don’t forget the reason we have what we do and that’s because God loves us. God gave us his only Son to grow as one of us, and be the innocent blood spilt for our sins.

We have a duty, an obligation to Love, and to give, to spread the love to our neighbors. It’s not an easy thing to live day to day under the attack from the Devil, but when we are given the opportunity to give to strangers, when we receive gifts from strangers, keep the love alive.

My Super Power

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My Super Power

So this may come as a complete shock to most of you, but I have a super power. In the last year and after an exhaustive amount of time on dating sites, I have come to find I am invisible. The amount of greetings I’ve sent in a year verses the amount of new friends or relationships I’ve made being under 5 shows me I am likely to be invisible to most people. In my mind the more dating sites I joined the better my odds were at making friends, and finding a relationship.

When you send more then a dozen greetings in a day and yet I receive no replies. The truth is in today’s world online dating stinks. The internet is littered with people who try to con you, who try to use you, and that’s if you warrant the attention. Finding the frauds is more and more difficult as their game has changed. While their game changes it’s also important for mine to change.

For many people invisibility is a real annoying truth. Going all day with few people making an attempt to reach out, and not being able to make new connections, it’s been a long road. When you look at how those sites work they are largely looks based to start with. If you aren’t a 10 in this world you don’t get far. This world has become shallow and no longer cares about the deeper parts of a person, instead it’s worried about the way people look. The old saying never judge a book by its cover obviously never caught on. The point is, don’t lower your own standards to fit into the world. Never give up on your own biblical principles just because the world has. Never give up on your moral compass to fill the void you may have. It’s easy to get lonely and start to think of ways to fill that void, but the feeling that comes from putting your beliefs aside to make your worldly desires feel better is horrible.

It’s not easy spending the holidays alone, especially two in a row. It’s not easy to be lonely, it’s not easy to feel left out, or abandoned. It’s not easy feeling like there’s a void deep within your heart, but there’s hope. John 15:18-19 “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” It’s not easy being lonely day in and day out.

People in this life can be mean and cruel. They can try to use you, abuse your kindness, try to take advantage, and with all of that, the things some people say to you just hurts. I was talking with someone and offered to show them around town because they were new to the area. They wanted something from me, and when I refused they said my ex wife made the right choice in leaving me, that I wasn’t worth sticking around. Even though she was a stranger, the words still hurt. While it’s very common to run into people on the internet who try to scam you, or pray on your naivety, you have to have your wits.

It’s a sad reality to know that most people on these dating sites are out to get you. The vast majority of the people in my experience that have talked with me desire something. iTunes gift cards, transfer money through western union, or any number of other means. While it hurts to know I’m either invisible, or people think I’m easy prey. Regardless, it doesn’t make life easy when all your met with on your quest is negativity, and rejection. Both of them hurt, and when people don’t get what they want and they take a stab at hurting you, it’s a tough pill to swallow. The key is to remember that though you may be invisible to people because lets face it, people aren’t very nice sometimes, you’re never invisible to God. You are His creation, and he is our (Abba) father. He cares about you, he cares about your happiness, and your well being, so when people hurt you, God hurts for us. God is never not with us, and you will always be a priority for God. Both good and bad, God wants us to be happy. God wants us to have a relationship with Him. Yes it’s hard to be alone during the holidays especially, but in that time alone, at least try to take some comfort knowing that the Father of the universe, the King on the throne, the creator of life and Heaven, knows you and loves you. You can’t deny how amazing that is, that even in our tiny little lives, God loves us so much, that Jesus Died for our, and even if it was just one of us, Jesus would have given His life.

My super power may be invisibility at the moment, but one day, my kindness, my generosity, my love and compassion will pay off, and my obedience to the Lord, my love for people, and my steadfast stance against the Devils attacks, I will be rewarded in abundance for my actions. And to borrow a line from the Dark Knight himself, “It’s not who I underneath, but what I do that defines me!” Don’t let other people’s opinions destroy you. Yes it hurts, yes, the words sting and you will feel it, but don’t let it break you. You aren’t trash because God doesn’t make trash. You aren’t a mistake because God doesn’t make mistakes. You are perfectly made, and somewhere out there, there’s someone perfectly made for you. Don’t give up hope, and never quit.

Jumping into the unknown

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Jumping into the unknown

 In a matter of weeks I will embark on an adventure all on my own. In the last year of my life I’ve suffered loss, and some joy along the way. While in every adventure there can be no growth without setbacks. While the journey is far from over it seems glimmers of light can now be seen at the end of a yearlong journey. The light I see at the end of the tunnel isn’t the headlamp of a fast approaching train. It’s finally come and while I know there will be future setbacks I’m prepared to face them head on.

In the last few weeks I’ve faced major opposition from the Veterans Administration and have had to point out gross negligence on their part. This battle has come at the cusp of my life finally being set on a particular track in a particular direction. This set back has minimized my ability to get my train up to full speed. Sadly while this causes undo stress, and might I point out needless stress, I will continue to try and face it with respect and dignity.

We may only get an opportunity once in a lifetime to leap. I’m not saying leap without looking, of course not, but sometime you need to take a leap of faith, and that leap may not always be with sight we understand. Sometimes we just don’t know what’s just around the bed, or just over the side of the next cliff. How can the eagles soar above the clouds if it doesn’t first take the leap? When we love we must first fall, a leap to let a part of ourselves go to allow for someone else to come in. When we love Jesus we must allow a part of our self to be burned away to make room for the light of the world. Loving another person is taking a chance. Rejection in life is always a possibility. Rejection from those whom we love is possibly the most hurtful thing we can ever endure. The fear of that rejection however, the fear of failure, cannot be the reason we don’t try. What if we allow ourselves to be ruled by our fear? What happens to our life, our happiness when we don’t allow ourselves to feel happy?

Genesis 2:18 “And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” We aren’t meant to be in this world alone. We aren’t meant to take the journey solo. We are made to be creatures that desire and need others. While some people are loners and some may desire their solitude that’s not the general idea for the human race. We often hide away after we are hurt, but we cannot live in the cave we’ve built forever. Even when we are broken hearted we must allow the Lord to rebuild us, to help us heal. Psalms 34:18 “The LORD [is] nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” When the right person comes along falling in love will be effortless, it will be like slipping into a warm bath. It will be like being wrapped in joy itself. The euphoria that comes with the act of falling in love is spectacular.

Sometimes we are forced to move, forced to change and we must be ready to embrace that change. Sometimes we must take a leap of faith and the trust comes later. I was watching the “Man of Steel” and while Clark was debating on his decision, he talked with a priest. During that conversation Clark stated he wasn’t sure if he could trust mankind. The priest replied that sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and trust later. Sometimes we must take the deep breath and dive into the deep water. We may not find our gold right away but if we continue to seek, one day we shall find.

As I have no clue what my future has in store for me, I can only hope and pray my future is brighter then the past. While I have seen glimmers of hope, and perhaps even love in my future, I proceed cautiously. I’ve seen and felt hope before only to be destroyed by it. This time around I am more cautious then I was before. This time also, I’m in a much better position. My faith is strong and when I needed proof the answers were given to me. We only need to have faith, and we too can see the truth. While we may not always get what we want, we will be given what we need. We must learn to understand the wants and the needs, and to also understand the repercussions of decisions. Many of our hardships will be a result of our own choices and thus we must remember we always reap what we sew.

Tomorrow’s answers will come when tomorrow does. Worry not about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry for itself. If we spend all our time worrying about our possible failures, or our possible rejections, if we never take that chance, or the leap we will truly never fly. You can’t live life with training wheels on your bicycle so take them off, put on your big boy pants or your big girl panties, and be ready for the world as it comes. Just remember though, a leap of faith doesn’t mean jumping without a parachute. Try to have at least some slight idea so you don’t fall to your own doom. Take the idea, and have faith that God will help guide you to work out the details. Trust in the Lord with thine whole heart and lean not unto your own understanding, but have faith in the truth and the light, and your way, your path shall be lit for you.

The Longest Yard

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The Longest Yard

 September 12, 2004 a day that rings out in memory every year. No matter the time that’s passed the vivid memory floods back every year.

DSC01025The crisp morning air and sun shines down on the empty streets of Ar-Ramadi. The mission starts led by my primary truck. I am the second truck in the convoy and the mission is simple, the scouts provide the quick reaction force in congruence with the Marines that would be doing the door to door raids of several blocks of apartment buildings. While the mission seemed simple the fact is the mission didn’t go according to the plan. Crossing the bridge over the Euphrates River the city looked abandoned. The hair on the back of my neck stood up and as we made the right turn at the fork. The sound came over the radio “IED IED IED!” I saw it, and blew past. The procedure was go out 100 meters, create a perimeter and let the guys in EOD do their thing. Before we made it to the 100 meter mark the truck in front of me disappeared in two massive explosions and smoke, dust, sand, and shrapnel flew into the air causing the road beyond to vanish from sight. From what I knew it looked like the truck had been destroyed. It was at that moment the bullet hit my door and the following moments slowed down. The screams from within the truck of orders and commands, information of targets, directions of travel, and the sounds of gun fire from both overhead and in the distance being directed towards the two trucks.

The 15 minutes of hell on earth left a lasting impression. The half a dozen RPG’s fired towards our location, the battle damage the two trucks endured from the bullet’s, IED’s, and RPG’s was extensive. While my truck took the majority of the damage ending with little to no fluids remaining, blown tires, a loss of power steering, and a main weapon that had a catastrophic failure in the middle of the firefight, the result was clear, God was looking out for the 1/9 scouts that day. While there were several close calls and even after we were credited with several kills, not one of the scouts was wounded that day. No matter how many times I’ve tried the images of that day have stayed with me. We were blessed that day and no amount of luck will ever be able to stand toe to toe with blessings.

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We often look back on our lives with 20/20 vision, and within that we start to question our path. I should have done that, or I could have done more, and any combination therein. In our daily walk we have to learn to trust in ourselves to know we made the best decision possible with what we knew at the time. No matter what problem we are left facing there will always be opinions of a better way to handle it, there will always be questions as to why we did what we did, or why we felt the way we felt, but the truth is, it’s easy to criticize anyone. We will never be free of second guessing, and especially when we see so much failure in our own life, we must learn to let it go. We cannot save everyone. We cannot always save ourselves. We can’t allow ourselves to be overcome with desperation, with sadness, with helplessness, and we must always realize that the past is cemented for all eternity, thus forcing us to do only one thing, and that’s learning from the past.

Remember everything we go through, all the pain, the suffering, and even so much as the good things in our life are just building experiences. When I was a supervisor in security and there would be an event that took place after the excitement was over, the paperwork was done, I often sat down with my officers and did an AAR or After Action Review. I asked them what they thought they did well, and what things they would change, but more importantly what could be learned to improve on for the next emergency or disturbance. No matter what we face in our world we know that God is always with us and we need to have faith in that. We must remember that we are a broken people but there is hope, the light of Christ. While we will make the best choices we can to ensure they truly are the best we must be walking in the light of Christ. Don’t loose sight of the compass that points to God. Have faith in God and our daily choices being made with the thought of ‘What Would Jesus Do’ will allow the scrutiny to be at a minimum.

Sometimes in the dark, sometimes when life is heavy and we can’t get away if feels like that last yard is a mile away. Let me reassure you that no matter the distance you have yet to go, the journey doesn’t have to be yours alone. The distance may seem more then you can go, especially when you feel like you can’t take another step. God will grant you strength to get by on your own, and if the strength isn’t granted to you, God will put someone in your path that will help you bare your cross. Don’t allow the past to dictate terms in your life, and don’t allow today’s problems to weigh you down so much you can’t walk. There’s no shame in asking for help, sometimes that’s exactly what we need and it’s exactly what’s expected.

 

 

Bible Thumper

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Bible Thumper

Recently someone I care for, someone I used to be close to was upset when I quoted scripture to back up a statement I had made called me a Bible Thumper. Using Google doing a quick search for the meaning of Bible Thumper I found this, “Bible thumper (also “Bible basher”; mainly US) Someone perceived as aggressively imposing their Christian beliefs upon others. The term derives from preachers thumping their hands down on the Bible, or thumping the Bible itself, to emphasize a point during a sermon.” While I never touched a bible during the conversation and it was over the phone, I wasn’t intending on preaching to anyone, but instead I was using scripture to support my own actions. While I was trying to understand and support my own actions, my own hardships, and categorizing the wrongs done to you. Who I am I find it difficult to look at any situation and not attempt to piece together the motives. Why people do things, especially when they are bad can always be pinpointed back to sin, however, the personal reason someone does something and the motive to why helps understand the train of thought someone was in during the event.

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Proverbs 21:2 “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.” When we do things in our life, we have the vantage point that we are right, that we are never the bad guy in our own story. Even the most deplorable human beings can change their opinions, they can change the very essence of who they are. We can get swept up in the moment of guilt, shame, hurt, despair and when that happens we can sometimes loose our perspective on what’s most important, Jesus Christ. All we can do while serving our Christian belief, our Christian life, is to pass on to others what we know to be truth. Mark 16:15 ESV “And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.” The fact I was called a Bible Thumper because I was using scripture to explain my actions, my feelings, my standpoint on the way we forgive others, why we Love the way we do. Acts 1:8 “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” No matter where we go in our life our first obligation is to the truth, the truth is Jesus Christ.

We may loose the people we love the most in this world, people may be taken from us, or they may walk away of their own free will, but no matter what the cause is, our first obligation is to Jesus Christ. We cannot let our grief, our anger, our rage blind us from the everlasting truth, and that’s God is still on the throne. We may not always like what happens to us, we may hate it in fact, but no matter what, Christ’s teachings are still the first place we need to go when dealing with any situation. Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” No matter who we may be, the life we live, we will always fall short. It’s not about being more righteous then anyone else, more holy then anyone else, it’s about knowing we have sinned, owning up to them, and also being there to help others through their own sins and mistakes. Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

Of all insults to be called a bible thumper is certainly not the worst. It saddens my heart when someone I know and love walks away and blatantly turned their back on Christian Biblical teaching. The truth is, it’s our obligation to point out sin to our neighbors, and thus we are to use scripture to make our point. Don’t forget to be kind in all you do.