Tag: Bad Behavior

Chasing Waterfalls

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Chasing Waterfalls

I have spent years looking for what was right in front of me, but sadly I couldn’t see the things I needed the most in my life. The first thing I needed to find was my own place in God’s love. The second was to realize how in a fleeting moment I would loose the women I had loved with my whole heart. Although I always felt like I gave her everything I possibly could, perhaps there was one more thing I could have given to her, my fear. I never once thought the day would come when she wouldn’t be standing by my side so I never felt the need to be jealous, or concerned with other guys. I consider now the two things in my life I needed the most and yet now after I lost so much, it feels like I may be too late. If I only had a chance to say my hearts desire and have them be heard could I change my fate? Tomorrow the sun will rise and I will have one of my failings be placed on the right path, but the other, I have a heavy heart. The women I loved is still gone because of my own inaction, my own failures as a leader of my household, and I must accept the responsibility of her leaving. While I have been told time and time again I am not at fault, she was happy, and then she wasn’t. I cannot stand idly by and think there was nothing I could have changed. Still, in the here and now, all I have is my hope for her, and wish her the very best on her own path. If I could tell her how much she means to me, and how much I love her, I would. I don’t know if those words would ever mean anything anymore, but perhaps one day they might. I have my path I must walk, and though it saddens me we won’t be walking this path together, I pray that maybe a miracle may happen and she finds her way back to me. Today I find myself thinking of the resurrection of Christ, which is coming. I think of the pain and suffering Christ endured for the sins of man, and yet he took the pain, took the punishment for all of us. He alone carried the burdens of Sin and freely gave his life to give everyone hope. We could only be so lucky to provide hope to someone else.

In the months after it happened, I found myself trying to move forward, trying to put my life back together but there was always something. I have wrestled with my place in this world and as I have found one of them, the other seems as elusive as a waterfall hidden in the deepest jungles. I have found peace with myself for the first time I can remember. I think it’s fitting that this weekend is about resurrection. I think it’s time for me to make some changes in my life. While I would like my life to go back to the way it was, I realize that can never happen. I’ve become a much better person now then I was back then. I have come to find my self worth and now find it’s a little easier managing being alone. I question what my future holds for me. I wonder if I’ll get my own home soon, find a new job, meet anyone special, and as I search for the answers to these questions, I remind myself to have faith, be patient, and above all, have faith in the plan that is beyond my understanding. Trusting in God isn’t always easy, but it’s something we all have to come to grips with at some point in our lives. Proverbs 3:5-6 “5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

I struggle with my own thorns, and in my struggle I lean upon the grace and mercy of the Lord. I cannot spend all my time chasing a waterfall I may never find. I must learn to let go of the things I cannot change and focus on the things I can. I cannot focus on the things I want and will never obtain. I find myself reciting the serenity prayer in my head often these days. I pray for my scenery to change and hope perhaps one day it shall. I cannot say what my future holds, but as for my past, maybe some things will never be as gone out of my life as they should be. Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” It’s time for me to stop chasing the waterfalls and to focus on what’s in front of me. It’s time I give myself the respect I deserve and stop allowing others to make me feel badly about myself. I have spent so long putting so much faith in people for my own personal validation of my own self worth that it’s no wonder I feel like garbage. If I spend my time with people who are selfish, leaches who are only in a friendship so long as they benefit, that’s on me to keep floating towards the edge of that waterfall. I have been washed down river more then once, swept over the cliff and yet I wonder why when it’s me all along. I cannot change others, but I can change my own part in it. I can stop playing so close to the edge. It’s up to me to stick closer to friendlier waters. No longer will I play in the waters edge. I cannot, I must not put myself through that any longer. God give me strength to walk away, strength to heal, to find peace.

Don’t Be a Coward

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Don’t Be a Coward

It’s not easy following God’s plan, or the path in front of you. I have spent a long time trying to fit in with the crowd yet no matter how much I’ve tried I never quite did. Recently however, I found my place in a new crowd, and let go of some of my outer defenses. By the end of the week I was nicknamed preacher, and by the end of the weak I’d realized one thing, I became courageous. We are soldiers, every last one of us. We were made to be courageous, and we were made to fight a war. Every day the Devil wins a new soul, yet our fight doesn’t end with our own personal salvation. I would say the day we are saved is when the real fight begins. It’s time we stand up, and we get out of the shadows we’ve been hiding in for far too long. It’s time to realize who the true enemy is, and take the fight to him. Step out of your comfort zone and know that in all things God will make you strong, God will give you the courage, the strength to do whatever he, The Great I AM, wishes of you. I stayed in the shadows afraid to make my faith known for fear of being rebuked. I now realize that the thing that was missing in my life was the thing I had all along. Accepting my place in this world wasn’t being accepted by the people I was surrounded by, but accepting that I am not sheep, but a Shepard. God has called upon me to speak and preach his Holy Word. It’s me that he has called to stand tall, stand proud, and proclaim the word of God. I am humbled by the opportunities He has given to me to expand my voice as I proclaim the truth in ways others enjoy reading. When I finally accepted my roll, finally allowed myself to hear what God’s been saying all along, I had an overwhelming sense of peace. My own Odyssey wasn’t to find or make friends even though I did along the way, it was to find me, it was to find who I am meant to be. When I say I was transformed I cannot overstate the pure raw power I found within that single week.

Months ago I found a song that rang truth in my ears, and I sang it over and over again. I couldn’t hear the words I was singing. I couldn’t see the message that God had sent to me. I was blogging, and I was telling the word, and yet, I felt alone, lost and afraid. I couldn’t see that it wasn’t the world that was holding me back, it was me that couldn’t see how I fit into the world. I was holding back from God afraid to go into the deep end. I was afraid that if I let go of my fear and doubts, I would be mocked, ridiculed, and hated for my stance. In the years I’ve been a Christian I am finding now, it is I, myself that’s been my own worst enemy. The Devil’s lies would be strong, and I would be to weak to stand against them. I believed the lie and even more then believing the lie, I began years ago to live in that lie. I knew I didn’t fit it with my friends, my family, even the women I would love. I would know I was worthless, and a fraud, a poser, a coward. I believed the lies so much that in every aspect of my life I lived the lie. The old saying is true, that when you lie to yourself long enough you begin to believe it. It was no different with me, I believed I was a waist of flesh, and I didn’t deserve anything. I was a nobody lost in the waves, tossed around lost in my own pain. I wasn’t fit to wear the filthy rags of a beggar on the street. The truth was I am no one, without God we are nothing. The God who created the Heavens and the Earth says I am someone, I am his child. The King of all creation, and I was made for a purpose. I was created with love, and I live to serve, to not be a slave to this world, but the Shepard to leave the comforts of home to find lost sheep. I was not created to be a pastor, but I was created to spread and share the great news of Jesus Christ. I know where I belong and it’s to be in Heaven one day with the Father, but until that day comes, it’s my place to reach as many people as I can as often as possible.

The Devil wants me to fail; he wants me to loose hope, to distract me from the mission. For so long I was afraid to step out from that boat, and now when the Devil whispers in my ear I’m not strong enough to withstand the storm, I now whisper back ‘I am the storm.’ I challenge you all to find your courage to stand up and be loud and proud. We all have our gifts, and every last one of us can be a soldier for Christ. Do not be afraid of the Devil because he can’t do anything to remove your salvation. Do not be afraid of death for we all must meet our maker someday so even if the Devil puts me on the fast path to death, that just means I get to go home sooner. The voice of truth says do not be afraid, do not be dismayed for the Lord is with you. The voice of truth says the war is won, the Devil just doesn’t know it yet. Allow your pain and suffering to fuel your faith, to stand taller, to yell as loud as you can that the living waters of the Holy Spirit have washed you creating a new creation. Don’t just say what people want to hear, say what they need to hear. Don’t be a yes man, do what’s right. Sometimes doing what’s right is to say no. The Lord has seen fit to wash away the doubt I held in my heart, and the transformation within me has been nothing short of a miracle.

I’m not a perfect man, but I strive to have my Father be proud of me. I strive for God to be pleased in what I say and what I do. I’ve seen the way I was, and the way I am, and that feeling of not fitting in was washed away. I know I will fail, and I know I will fall, but I know God will forgive my shortcomings, and I know that God will love me enough to scold me when I’m wrong, reward me when I’m good, and will over a hand when I need it. God is always with me, and I know now that sometimes being a believer in Christ may make me an outsider with man, but I will fit right in when I go home. When I expire I will leave this world, and leave this broken body for a life of beauty and perfection. I will be given a new perfect body where I will be beautiful and accepted for me. My journey didn’t end at my Odyssey, no, it was just the beginning, it was my beginning. I hope to stand tall, and stand proud proclaiming the one truth anyone will ever need. I will be attacked in the coming days, weeks, and years, by the Devil who will try to break me. I know the battle was won, but the war for me is far from over. Like so many greats before me, I could only dream of standing as tall as them. David, Esther, Moses, Paul, any of them I would gladly set as my inspiration to become more like. Each struggled with their own failings, but God has made ordinary people into legends. While I have no belief I will be remembered as a legend, I know that I can at the very least offer to leave this world a better place then where I found it. With every breath I take I now know my true place in this world. Hallelujah to the one above who helped me cut the last tie to a scared boy.

Zephaniah 3:17 “17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” The Lord created you, gave you life, and in that life inlaid gifts, talents, and a soul to love. God loved us so much that in an act of love sacrificed his only son, to spare us the pain of total separation from the Father. Romans 5:8 “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” It’s this love we see the true sacrifice made. We are not saved by works, but through God alone. Matthew 19:26 “But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” We are to live like Christ, and in that we are told to share and preach the Gospel. To gather followers, and baptize the world in the Holy Spirit, so we must be willing to follow as Christ walked. John 10:11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” Do not just stand by and watch, get out there and get ready for the long road. We cannot stay in the shallow ends if we are to be the Shepard in Christ. Ready yourselves with the armor of God Ephesians 6:10-18. Stand tall, and find your courage. The world may hate you, friends may turn their backs on you, but God, God will never forsake you. I want to be remembered when I die for being a Godly man, who fought the good fight. I want to leave behind a legacy of Godly children who follow in dad’s footsteps. But if I’m a coward and I run from danger, I run away with fear in my heart, I’ll never achieve greatness. If I am to achieve any real measure of success it must be before the Lord all mighty, not the standards of man. Stand tall, and be courageous in your walk with the Lord. Do not be afraid if you stray a little along the way, God will help you back on course. The promise made by God is a tab that’s already been paid. The Blood of Christ spilt so our sins may be forgiven and that relationship with God no longer divided. Believe in yourself because God believes in you.

 

 

Let Go of Dead Weight

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Let Go of Dead Weight

One thing I’ve always struggled with is learning when it’s time to let someone, or something go from my, especially if it’s bad or toxic for me to be around. I have often allowed people to come and go into my life when it suits them, and putting my own hurt aside I welcome them back, and wait for them to leave again. I am the type of person that when someone’s important to me I will attempt to move heaven and earth to help them, be there for them, do anything I could to be the best friend I could be. I think much of my problem has been the efforts I’ve put into being a great friend, trying to constantly please others; I have lost how to please myself. The vast majority of people I’ve had in my life are fake, sycophant, users, and as I’ve noticed I’m here to help people feel good. Once they feel good again they move on, and come back when they need a feel good pick me up. Very few people actually stick around because they want to, because they like my company. I’ve watched the vast majority of my so-called friends leave and most have never come back. When I’ve needed someone to lean on, or be there for me, I’ve found the choices are few, and slim.

When we are weak and downtrodden, when we feel we have lost and forgotten, remember, people are people, and we should never put our hopes, or faith in people. Hebrews 12:1 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,” We must not hold onto the baggage of regret, of loss or even grief. We must not hold onto those who drag us down and never lift us up. People are fickle creatures, and in an instant, or on a whim people can change their path and we can see the wreckage for miles of what’s left behind. There is hope though when we remember that God our father is always with us. He is always watching and in all things, the good and the bad, even in the worst of situations God is working to make something good come from it. In the book of Esther a man named Haman wanted to destroy the Jews and specifically kill a man named Mordecai. The right person was in the right place at the perfect God appointed time, Esther. Esther was to be a Queen and using her influence as she rose from nothing to be queen she found the plot to kill her Uncle and informed the King of Persia. Instead of Satan killing Mordecai and the Jews, the attack never came and Haman was killed, Mordecai was appointed second in command. We see this again in the death of Jesus Christ. Satan wanted Jesus dead and the war to end, but instead God raised Jesus from the grave and defeated sin once and for all.

We will all face people in our life that try to use and abuse our kindness. We will all face people who want to come and go when it suits them and hurt on their way out. While I firmly believe we should put the needs of others first, I point to ourselves as ambassadors of Christ. We must be good stewards of Gods gifts and love. If we are to give our love and attention to people, give them to people who truly need it, not those who wish to do harm with it. Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Give to others what you would want to receive, and when we give love to all, it matters not if that love is returned, because it’s returned from our Father in Heaven. Surround yourselves with believers, those who love and fear the Lord. 1 Corinthians 15:33“Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” Walk away from those who intend to do harm. Walk away from those who are unequally yoked as you. Never stop loving, and praying, and never close the door to present the gospel to those you encounter. Sometimes people do change, and no matter how many times someone walks away show them love, show them compassion, and always show them forgiveness for their transgressions. People will sin, and will make bad decisions, but we are all sinners, we all make poor choices, and we all deserve a chance to prove we’ve changed. If we are washed in the blood of Christ no longer bound to sin, no longer doomed to suffer the consequences of our actions through our sorrow of sin and our desire to repent and make amends for our actions, so shall we accept apologies, and forgive freely. No one can earn forgiveness, it’s for us to give freely. Just because we forgive doesn’t mean we must carry that weight. Just because we walk away from bad relationships, doesn’t mean we are closing a door forever. Nothing in this world is certain except God’s love for us, and our sins that have been washed by the Lamb of God.

Proverbs 13:20 “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Walk with those who are wise in the Lord. Walk with those who love themselves and others. Follow the love for your fellow man by the words in, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Love comes from within and goes to all whom we come into contact with. Respect one another, and respect our differences. Do not be cruel or hurtful. When we face the pain from others yes it will make you angry, yes it will hurt, but remember, hurting people hurt others. Do not put your pain upon others in the way of hate or anger. Love all, and pray for those in need of Jesus’s love and mercy. Don’t loose hope because where there is God there is always hope.

 

 

 

 

When Pride Kills

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When Pride Kills

How do we treat those in our relationships? Do we take constructive criticism well? How about when we’ve actually done something wrong, do we attack those who are just trying to talk about a problem? When we are so prideful we are unable to hear or acknowledge that we might be doing something wrong or hurtful to someone we care about is not just a problem in relationships, but work, and other relationships we may encounter. Pride can be the downfall in many relationships, and effects virtually every aspect of our life. Pride can be a beautiful thing, and in the right amount it can give a sense of accomplishment when we achieve something wonderful. James 4:10 “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” In everything we achieve it’s not us, but through and by the grace of God. We are nothing without the Lord. Nothing happens without the Lord allowing it to happen.

1 John 2:16 – For all that [is] in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. “The heart of pride is focused on “self.” Prideful people believe they deserve better than what life has brought them. They become sorrowful, resentful, and even jealous of other people and their successes. Pride breeds self pity, which is a major component in depression. Typically, people who struggle with pride will live life based on how they feel and expect everyone else to accommodate them and adapt to their moods.” The Bible is full of examples of how men have fallen to their own selfish pride. “But when [Nebuchadnezzar’s] heart became arrogant and hardened with pride, he was deposed from his royal throne and stripped of his glory. He was driven away from people and given the mind of an animal; he lived with the wild donkeys and ate grass like cattle; and his body was drenched with the dew of heaven, until he acknowledged that the Most High God is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and sets over them anyone he wishes.” Daniel 5:20-21 (NIV) Pride is at the heart, a heart problem. Something most likely happened to wound you early in life, and now you feel life owes you one. You’re over compensating for your feelings of inadequacy. You lash out at those around you who try to help you, if it doesn’t conform to what you want to hear. When people point out things you may have done to hurt them, with actual events, you will blame everything else instead of just owning up to it and trying to make it right. Pride’s very existence when being used to guard ones self is the shield to prevent helpful, and respectful conversation from happening in a relationship. Pride, vanity, selfishness, are all very real, and when looked at in depth, the result of something usually happening during the ages of 8-16 years old. While pride can destroy new relationships or old relationships, it can be combated.

The first step of releasing your pride is first realize that you are truly nothing without God. We must humble ourselves to the Lord. We must learn to be slow to speak and swift to listen. We must learn that love is about hearing the truth sometimes and accepting that it’s coming from a place in the heart, not to tear down, but to try and lift up. Truth, and I mean truth, not opinion, but the cold hard facts, are there and when they support a conclusion, should be considered with open ears, and a slow tongue. In our lives we can make or break relationships by one tiny little thing that can do so much damage in an instant, the human tongue. People say things in the heat of anger, in the moment of pride fullness, and it can do more harm then most can fathom. We all find ourselves on the defensive when a loved one says something about our personality. The truth is, we have become a very sensitive people. We no longer wish to better ourselves, we believe that we are perfect just the way we are. We don’t want to hear the truth anymore, and we’re willing to live in a world where it’s all about us, and we put little thought into how our actions affect others. We have lost the compassion in our hearts. People are living in a world where it’s better to walk away from a friendship then to admit you may have been wrong.

It truly is a sad time we live in when friendships mean so little that people are willing to walk away instead of having a conversation. People will walk away from friendships, relationships, and marriages, all because of pride. When we can’t admit we may be the problem, we can’t admit our faults, we can’t face our own mistakes, we tend to run away because it’s easier then having to deal with the wrongs, or even the pain we’ve caused. We need to let go of our self and find God in our hearts. God can heal the wounded, repair the damage done to the heart, and allow forgiveness, and joy to return. Don’t let pride destroy your home, or your friendships. Don’t let your own inability to admit your faults, your shortcomings, stop you from having heartfelt conversations meant to build, not to tear down. Grown in the military was to tear down to rebuild. You must allow your defenses to be lowered and then you can start working on facing the issues at hand. There’s nothing wrong with showing a little pride in moderation. There’s nothing wrong with a little competition and being proud of winning. There’s nothing wrong with showing pride in your kids, or spouse for something they accomplished. Don’t let your pride get to your head. Stay grounded and stay humble on God’s word. The Lord Giveth, and the Lord can Taketh away. Remember people are not usually out to get you. Just because they make something you’ve done a point of conversation doesn’t mean they hate you and doesn’t mean they are attacking you. I generally want to believe the best in people, and when they care about you, they are just trying to make a bad situation better. I don’t think people always intend to hurt others, and in a relationship communication must be free from worry and concern to be healthy. Don’t give up on each other, and don’t loose hope, the Holy Spirit is forever with you.

Pride can both be horrible and left to grow it can grow out of control. Pride can destroy relationships if one cannot move beyond their own ways. Pride can be a great strength and a great weakness. There is a healthy balance, and we must learn to find that balance. We do not want to allow pride to tear apart families, or damage work relationships, and most importantly we don’t want pride to damage our relationship with God. Let go of self, and look to what you say, and how you say it to the people in your life. Be humble and remember that God allows all things and is sovereign. It’s okay to feel pride, just make sure it stays in check. Pride of winning a game, or accomplishing something wonderful, either is okay, but keep it in check. Remember God gives, and takes away. Don’t let pride be what tears you down or stops you from reaching the top.

 

(n.d.). Retrieved March 27, 2018, from http://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/2014/03/05/the-prideful-heart/

God, the Ultimate Dungeon Master

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God, the Ultimate Dungeon Master

If any of you are like me then at some point in your life you sat around a room with a whole bunch of weird looking dice, a character sheet, some assorted books, and a ton of caffeine, enough to fuel an army for two days. I was a Dungeons & Dragons nerd growing up. Recently I was talking to a good friend of mine about the difference between Calvinism, and Arminianism. Without getting to much into the theological debate which I am just now starting to understand, it’s basically predestination, or free will. Where are we in our faith? While this point isn’t really important in the grand scheme of things, it’s trusting in God and knowing the path to salvation. While I do believe people have free will and we are not predestined in every aspect, I do believe some events are going to happen no matter what you do. As I stated in my recent conversation, “Kinda like an RPG. You’re gonna face the dragon, what you do is up to you.” (Arrow Preacher) Isn’t it an interesting thought that God is a master mathematician? In our life the vast majority of everything we see and touch can be found in math. If God were able to decide the percentages on every single decision you make by a percentage chance, and thus the future is slightly altered to suit God’s inevitable plan. But then my favorite theory, is actually the multi-verse theory. For every conceivable action we can make we do, and so on and so forth. A string followed by God who has the ability to pier through the looking glass past present and future. While all of this is purely personally theoretical, I will say for sure, God is the Alpha and the Omega. God see’s all and whether God is more of a hands off God, or God’s influence is in every single decision we make, it really makes no difference. God is God, Jesus Christ is our Savior, and in His blood we are washed of our sins.

Psalm 135:6 “Whatever the LORD pleases, He does, In heaven and in earth, in the seas and in all deeps.”

Psalm 115:3 “But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases.”

 Daniel 4:35 “All the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, But He does according to His will in the host of heaven And among the inhabitants of earth; And no one can ward off His hand Or say to Him, ‘What have You done?’

 Matthew 19:26 “And looking at them Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

 We must learn to be steadfast in our life toward God. While each and every day we are faced with new challenges, new obstacles, we must always look to the Dungeon Master and when we are given the choice how we are going to behave, we need to remember the DM is always watching. If we are to live our lives on our path, we need to focus on what kind of character in God’s game we want to be. We have our option to how we behave. There are several alignments in the world of D&D, and when we look them over, what type of person are we? Personally I would fall in Neutral Good. I believe sometimes the law does not offer the need to do the right thing in every circumstance. I believe if a true vigilante or hero type person were to rise, I would support that. I think sometimes in the pursuit of justice a particular eye should be viewed. Man often makes laws that don’t follow God’s laws. Once upon a time worshiping Christ was against the law in some ancient countries, and believe it or not, there are still countries today where the church is still persecuted. Thus I hold fast to the need to be Neutral Good. If Christianity were to become illegal I would continue to sidestep the law in the pursuit to worship. I believe sometimes the law doesn’t hold what’s morally right based on scripture. When you follow the Lord and stay true to the Gospel you can’t go wrong.

Man is fallible but the word of God is enduring. While we are told to follow the law of the land I don’t believe this was a black and white standing. While early Christians were following the rule of Rome, they practiced their faith some in private so they weren’t hunted. This tells me that not all laws made are justified laws, and yet we must respect God’s decisions to allow the leaders to be leaders. That being said, as a Christian I believe we must always put the word of God before the laws and words of men, and thus, Neutral Good. Sometimes bending or breaking the laws of man for the good of God’s word is necessary. Have faith and follow God. Remember when you get to your dragon, you alone have the choice as to what you are going to do.

Hope When You’re Down

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Hope When You’re Down

The end of the road comes quicker then you’d think. The signs were there, but it seemed like the road would keep going. It seemed like a dream, never truly feeling real, yet, something, there was always something; maybe it was hope that it wasn’t real. How could so much pain befall the same person over and over in ones life? In my life I have watched many horrors as I’ve lost many in my life. In 2012 I thought for sure my next phase would be the longest and all apart of the final stage. I believed I’d finally reached the end of my struggles, but in fact, it was just setting me up for the biggest let down I’d face. I cannot express the pain that I felt, the pain that I feel, but what I can express is that my story isn’t done yet, no, it’s just beginning. I will not allow my life to fall to ruins. I will not allow my pain to keep me chained down. I will not allow my rucksack from keeping me from the top of the hill. I have seen the angel of death, I have passed through the brink, and I have not fallen to memory. In my darkest hour I have reached for the Lord and the Lord has responded with grace and mercy. Above all else, the Lord has given me love in which I never deserved, nor earned. The Lord is merciful, and kind, generous, and never failing.

Though I am still climbing my mountain I have found strength I never knew I had. That is not to say, I don’t feel low, and that I don’t often feel the weight pinning me to the ground, but like all good fighters, I have always found a way, I have always found the strength to keep moving my feet. Like a good soldier I have kept true to my creed. I have never quit, and I have not surrendered to the darkness. When I felt as if I was held captive I never stopped trying to escape the clutches of the Devil. Today I say marks the beginning of the end, and as this chapter moves to close, I can’t help but feel the sorrow in my heart. Often times pain comes from the places we never imagined they would. The pain that springs up from the depths of the ground beneath you, pushing us aside as we fall to the ground watching everything crumble around us. When we curl into a ball trying to avoid the fallout, all we can do sometimes is hang on for dear life, and pray.

In my life I have prayed for many things but never before had I prayed as earnestly, prayed as forcefully, prayed with all of my heart. My prayers were not answered, and now I stand again on the ledge looking over the valley in which I came. I can turn around and see the mountain, and I know I am not ready, but it matters not what I am ready to do, the time has come to start the climb once again. I have found my before, I shall find my way again. I search my heart for my path, and I hear scripture in my head. Proverbs 3:6 “In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.” I trust in the Holy Spirit to guide me when I feel lost. I trust in my God to not forsake me when I am lost in my own sight. I trust because I’ve seen. I believe because I feel. I hope because I know. Proverbs 3:7 “Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil.” I know truth from faith, I know fact from fiction, and I cannot deny my own experience. I know the senses of my own body, and what has been experienced by this feeble body of mine. The Lord is not something that is some story told to bring comfort to those seeking some understanding. The Lord is real, felt with my own flesh, heard with my own ears, and in the darkness of the night, the light the washes over my pain is unyielding. The voice that I heard was real, and the death that didn’t happen was quantifiable. While I do not know my way, I believe God will never set me on the wrong path. Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.” Faith for me is not something blind, but instead it’s because I’ve seen, I’ve experienced, that I have faith.

In my sorrow my tears have been used to wash away the old. In my joy the laughter has been used to rebuild the home of my heart. My heart which was broken is now mending. We all have wounds and in time they heal. Often in our wounds a scar remains to remind us of our past. Not to keep you chained to it, but instead to teach us lessons, not to repeat. I know that in my walk with the Lord that I will have my stumbles, and I will sometimes slip down the mountain, but I will always be caught and placed back on the trail. I may not always know how to climb the wall, but closing my eyes and keeping Jesus in my heart, I know my feet will remain secure, my hands will find their place. Proverbs 4:26 “Watch the path of your feet And all your ways will be established.” In all things we must remember that even broken, we aren’t done yet.

When Life Goes Sideways

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When Life Goes Sideways

Life moves along a particular course, lets think of it like a smooth river. Everything seems fine, and before long you feel like you’re moving faster, and without realizing it, you’re almost out of control. You barely steering your boat, and comes the rapids. In just a second you are facing forward to sideways dropping down a huge drop. You aren’t in control and all you can do is hold on tight and wait for the splash of freezing cold water at the bottom. It’s a horrible feeling knowing you aren’t in control of your own fate. It’s a horrible feeling not knowing what’s about to happen to you. Sometimes in white water rafting you are at the mercy of the waters no matter how well you try to plan it out. Sometimes you just go over the fall sideways and life’s the same way. Some days life goes sideways and you’re at the mercy of the events as they unfold. Even when you’re in the raft and you’re getting low you aren’t doing nothing. You are waiting for instruction, you are bracing, you are ready to jump into action. You might even be saying a short prayer not to be dumped into the 40* water. Life, like a moving, raging river has all kinds of surprises to it. Just like a river you can take it every day, but you never step into the same river twice. The key take away from this message today is when life goes sideways have faith in the Lord. When life goes sideways trust in the power of the Holy Spirit to see you through the freezing waters, the feeling on being out of control, because in all things, God himself is watching, and is always in control. God is never out of control, and we must be steadfast in our faith. When we remain faithful, God will bless us even when things are sour.

What is it to be steadfast in your faith, to trust in your theology? “All you have to do is live long enough to suffer.” (C.J. Mahaney, January 3, 2016, walking with God) When you live this life it’s only a matter of time for the season of trouble to come to your door. When it happens we are able to make choices and those choices will further shape our outcome. Hindsight is 20/20 meaning we have pure clarity of our past. We can review our past and we can have what I call, along with the military an After Action Review. This is a time period of reflection, of conversation of what went well, and what can be improved on. Life is the same way. When the waters are calm we have time to review scripture, to study, to prepare, and to be ready for the next set of rapids. No matter where we are in our journey there’s always going to be help, but just as Job found, there will always be those who rebuke you in the middle of the struggle. It’s important to not loose sight of your azimuth, your true north, and so long as you have your compass and you’re actually following your guide path, you will come out fine. You may have your knocks, your cuts and scrapes, but God’s always in control. Luke 21:36 “Be alert at all times. Pray so that you have the power to escape everything that is about to happen and to stand in front of the Son of Man.” We know that the storms will come and when they do you can be ready for it. No matter what, the storms will come and when it does, remember that God remains in control. Trust in the Lord on high and remember that no matter what happens, the faithful will go home. This life will end for us all, and we should not fear death, but eventually when the day comes welcome it like an old friend. We know that death is just the beginning for our journey to a better place. Life is a proving ground, and it will either build you, or break you. Life is a series of choices, and we get to choose what we want to be. We can be great Godly men, or we can be lowlife thugs. We can be inspirations to our fellow brothers and sisters, or we can be examples of what not to do. You will always be judged more by your times of struggles, then you do when life is smooth sailing. Ecclesiastes 11:8 “So if a person lives many years, let him rejoice in them all; but let him remember that the days of darkness will be many. All that comes is vanity.”

When Life Goes Sideways 2
Chattanooga River. 35* Temp Water: 40-50*

We will have days of doubt, and we will have days where we just don’t know how to handle. Right when you need a little hope, just look to the Heavens and ask for God’s healing grace. No matter your doubts and questions, fear is natural, but faith and love can concur that fear. When you know the storm is coming you do not sit and do nothing, you ready yourself, you prepare. Life is the same way. When you have time find your nose in scripture. Study, and be ready for the storm. You should be studying the art of war in preparation for the spiritual warfare we are always in. As the days go without toil, know that peace cannot last. Peace in this life is an illusion, and it’s when you let your guard down Satan will attack. Remember the Devil cannot take away the one thing you have on your side and that’s your faith in Christ. Fear is a liar telling you, you can’t, you won’t. Fear is the Devil’s number one tool. The Devil often told me I wasn’t good enough. The Devil told me I wasn’t worthy of God’s love, or the love of anyone else. I know that when my world went sideways I didn’t exactly handle it the best I could have. Luckily for me I have been given a second chance at it, and I don’t intend on wasting my opportunity.

Life is going to suck let’s just face facts. There’s going to be times when we aren’t having any fun. There’s going to be times when crying might be all we have. There’s going to be times when everything we hold most dear seems like it’s falling away. Don’t let those horrible times be a negative definer for you. Dig in your cleats and when the enemies are pushing back on your shield hold your ground. Find your God given skills, your God given talent, and your God given strength to hold your ground when the Devil’s pushing you back. You are soldiers, you are Spartan’s for Christ, and you can withstand any enemy. You can hold your ground and will make it through the night and see the rising son. Romans 8:31-32 “31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be[i] against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” If God’s in our hearts, and truly our foundation is strong with the Lord, nothing can steal our joy. Don’t let the waves of the seas laugh at you. Don’t let the lies of the Devil tell you you’re not good enough, you’re not strong enough, because on the day when life does go sideways, the voice of God will remind you you’re strong with the faith, and you can make it through anything. Do not be afraid of the storm, instead ready your mind and laugh as the Devil tries his best to break you. You’re a warrior, you’re a soldier for the winning side, and no matter what the Devil tries, he’s destined to loose. We know how it ends, we know the Devil looses, so what are we afraid of? So what if the boat goes sideways? So what if you get a little wet? Life may suck from time to time, but the worst thing that happens is you die and you go to paradise for all eternity with God. That doesn’t sound so bad to me. We’re all broken sometimes, but we’re broken together in life. Follow your compass, and be sure to check, and recheck, and you’ll keep on your path to the Lord on high. When life is tough and you can’t see through the storm, close your eyes and listen. Amen for the storm, amen for the lessons we must learn, and praise to the God who gives and takes away.

Praise you in this Storm; By, Casting Crowns

And I’ll praise you in this storm

And I will lift my hands

That you are who you are

No matter where I am

And every tear I’ve cried

You hold in your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise you in this storm

Raise your hands, and praise God. You may not feel in control of your ship, but God is. No matter where you find yourself, God’s right there with you, never leaving your side. No matter how badly you hurt, God is hurting right along side you. You may be facing hell, but the maker of Heaven and Earth is facing it with you. Do not loose hope, and do not loose faith. Lift your hands with me, and say Thank You for every tear cried, every wound we take, because without our failures we never truly learn. It’s not because of who we are, but because of God that the storms in life come and go and in them we learn to be better men in Christ. God hears us, and teaches us, and sometimes allows us to stick our finger in the proverbial light socket. The same God that calms the sea, defeats Satan, is watching over us. Don’t forget who we are when the fecal matter hits the oscillating device. You are a warrior, with the full power of the sovereign king of the universe on your side. Remember, sometimes all you can do is drop down, and hang on, and let life do it’s thing. Trust in God to get you out on the other side safe and sound.

 

Reference: http://www.sgclouisville.org/sovereign-grace-church-louisville-sermons/series/walking-with-god-when-life-goes-sideways-the-book-of-job

Push Yourself

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Push Yourself

We are often pushed in our lives to do things we do, or maybe things we don’t want to do. People afraid of heights for instance, but with proper motivation you can actually achieve anything. In Christ we are told anything is possible. Life will always challenge us. We need to focus on growth and not to be the stagnant water. Look deeper and see beyond your labels. Look beyond what the average eye sees, macro photography for instance is about more then what the average eye sees, it’s about looking deeper. We are all something, and in that something we have at some point fallen into that particular label. There’s one label that is above all else the most important, Christian. In my life I’ve been many labels, son, student, employee, boyfriend, soldier, fiancé’, husband, but when all of those things were taken away what was I? When my labels crumbled like loose sand in my hands, I was left in a state of freefall. Fear of not knowing who I was, fear of not knowing who we are is a big motivator to self destruction. Fear makes people do all kinds of strange things, but we have the opportunity to dig deep, find something new, find something real, and change our tomorrow. We need to do one thing first, and that’s push yourself.

Push Yourself

I’ve never been afraid of most things other people are. Heights, water, spiders, snakes, or other things like that have never bothered me. My fears have always been strange. I had a fear when I was younger of stuff falling out of my pockets into the water. I grew out of that, but over time, one loss after another I would fear above all else abandonment. One after another the losses I faced forced me to hold on just a little tighter to the next person. I wasn’t ever jealous or controlling but I would talk often via text, or call. Since my wife left, now ex wife, I have found those whom I’ve been romantically interested in, hasn’t stuck around long. This experience that’s repeated over and over has left me doubting myself. Thus, the nature of this post. When we get to a point in our lives when we doubt ourselves we must learn to push beyond so we can grow. How do we grow if we don’t push ourselves past the limits of our own minds?

Fear can be a good thing, it can let us know when we are in real danger, but in some ways, fear is a prison within our own mind. Fear of something bad happening to you when in reality there’s very low likelihood anything will happen. I have been uncomfortable going into crowded stores ever since I returned from Iraq, but if I go with a battle buddy I’m okay. I know people who are afraid of heights, and the ocean, and spiders, and snakes, and I would surmise most fears are based on our own mortality. If you trust in God, have faith in your salvation, then are you really afraid to die? How do we push beyond our fears and end the prison we’ve remained in? When I was in South Carolina I found my battle buddies facing off with some of their biggest fears. Some guys were terrified to open up about their experiences. Some were afraid of heights, and some were afraid of rafting. Each and every man faced some fear, some big challenge and come out on the other side a different person. When we push our faith to our limits will we crack under the pressure, or rise above and grow. 2 Peter 3:18 “18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.”

Push yourself 2

We should walk with the knowledge that we may need to remove ourselves from our own heads, and focus on the tasks at hand. We can’t allow ourselves to freeze with fear, because someone’s counting on you. We have an obligation to push past the fear. “There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” (John Lennon) Do not run from that danger, run towards it. Brace yourself for it, take a big breath of air, and dive right in. Plunge into that fear and show it who’s boss. “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” (Plato) We as adults have learned to concur some fears, and yet some remain intact. When we trust in the Lord and we are able to look at life without a fear of the end because when the end comes we know where we are headed. “I’ve known fear. It’s a very healthy thing, most of the time. You warn us of danger, remind us of our limits, protect us from carelessness. I’ve learned to trust fear.” (Captain Kathryn Janeway) If we are to be completely honest with ourselves why is there fear? As I mentioned earlier, fear can be a great tool to tell us when there’s danger, limits, etc. But in the end, most things I would say are left for one thing and one thing alone, concurred. “You know as well as I do that fear only exists for one purpose: to be conquered.” (Captain Kathryn Janeway)

 Do not fall victim to your own fears. Learn to rise above and to push yourself because when you do, the sense of pride, and accomplishments will replace that fear. The day may come when you’re faced with a challenge and that challenge may bring you tremendous amounts of fear. In that time I challenge you to face your fear, dig deep and rise above. Allow the Holy Spirit to enter your heart and know that you will be carried through. We can concur anything because we’ve already concurred death through the blood of Christ. What more do we need to fear in the end when we know what awaits us past the fields of green? I know my own fear of abandonment runs deep, and I know one day I will have to face it, and I pray for strength when that day comes. I don’t want to be alone my whole life. I don’t want to fail my family in having kids to carry on the family line. I don’t want to be a failure in this life, and my battles I face aren’t in the physical world, but the battlefield in within my own heart. The battle that has been waging for many years between the Devil’s lies, and the voice of Jesus. In my heart the war wages on and some battles are won by the light, and others the dark, but as I grow in my faith, more and more battles score the win for my Savior. I’m not perfect and I have my struggles like anyone else, but it’s in those struggles I choose to never quit, never surrender, and I never, ever back down from a fight with the Devil. One loss after another, the Devil has now grown to fear me. The attacks come more frequently then they used to, but when we feel cornered we feel desperate, and the Devil’s desperate to trap me, and all of you in his snares. The Devil is loosing ground every time someone drops to their knees and prays. The Devil lashes out for every person saved, for every marriage reunited, for every forgiving heart that lets go of the wrongs from a loved one. The Devil fears the Christian heart, and thus the Devil turns that fear into rage. When we face fear with love, with hope, we can climb that tallest mountain and see the wonders of this world. Face your fears and grow beyond them. Push yourself to new limits, and watch as the things you thought you could never do now become milestones for you to break through. Fear not for the Lord is always with you. John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” Face your fears, face yourself, and you can rise to new levels. Courage is the remedy for fear. Courage in the face of fears is rising above and not allowing fear to drag you down. Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Trust in the Lord, and believe that if the day comes, the Lord will either protect you, or bring you home to paradise. Either or, the outcome is pretty nice. Isaiah 35:4 “say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.”

 

Build Faithful Wealth

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Build Faithful Wealth

The day’s stress builds and it feels crushing. The pain from yesterday seems to creep in and taunt you like a splinter you can’t see. The struggle is real, and it’s a constant battle uphill, but what if I told you, you could lighten your load? So many people are under the impression that the day you become a Christian, and the day you choose to follow the light of Christ, and trust in God that everything is nothing by clear meadows and peaceful streams. The sad reality is, when you become a Christian the struggle is just getting started. When you give your life to God the Devil will try to break you, and knock you down every single chance he gets. You’re a threat to the Devil’s plans and he wants your soul for himself. We Christians have defenses against his attacks, and together we can grow, and mature, and be ready.

We know what God says, and we know how to practice it. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 “16 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; 17so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” If we follow this instruction we may find some peace in the middle of the storm. How can we fight the Devil if we don’t know scripture? How can we mount a defense against the general of the opposing army who’s had thousands of years of practice? The Word of God is the only difference between peace, and despair. The diligence prosper, and we know this from Joshua 1:8 “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.”

The thing about having and solidifying your faith is, it takes years. It takes time to push away your flesh, and allow the Holy Spirit to take hold in your heart. I believe that in anything we have in abundance we should share with others. I firmly believe that when we are basking in the faith of Jesus Christ we not only should, but that we have an obligation to share that with others. When you have that kind of faith it’s easy to be happy in the good times, but the true test of being wealthy in the faith is when trouble comes. Peace will come when you have faith and trust in the Lord. You will believe that even in the hard times the Lord is in control, and you will allow yourself to not worry as much. The idea in our life of Christ is to live like no one else, so when God calls you home one day you can live in Heaven like no one else.

When we are graced with God’s love, we should feel those blessings in everything that surrounds us. When we receive that blessing, we should ultimately become a blessing to those around us. We should hope to help improve the lives in which we touch. It should be our goal to help enrich others lives with the word of God. In this life without faith, we often find that people live their life in fear and desperation. They go from moments of happiness to despair every time a hurdle comes into their path. Life will throw curve balls, and even chasms, but those in the faith bounce back, and manage far better then those without. Life is hard on everyone no matter what walk of life you come from. Trouble will hit everyone because it doesn’t discriminate. God has entrusted us with the Word, the Sword, so if we have the key to peace, and contentment, we should, we are commanded to follow the Great Commission. When we get good news in our life we want to share it, but the best news we could ever get is the word of God and we shy away from talking about it with others for fear of judgment, shame on us. Psalm 24:1 “The earth is the LORD’s and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein,” We are called to share the word of God, but when we sit on it, we are not good stewards of God’s word. The blessings we get from above we should be great stewards of. We should be stewards of God’s money, love, grace, and forgiveness. Instead we remain silent and don’t stand for anything. We sit on the fence and watch as the world passes us by. We pray for those who find themselves in crisis but what are we doing before the crisis hits? Are we making positive change in our communities with the word of our King? Giving love, charity, can be a humbling experience, but we as Christians don’t even tithe like we should, let alone give love abundantly. God is the greatest giver in history, and when we think about it, God gave his one and only Son to save us. His son became the sacrifice, and that sacrifice became the full outpouring of God’s wrath upon Christ. How much that must have hurt God, and yet he so loved the world of Man, he would do that. God has given us hope when we had none. He’s given us purpose, and love, and how do we repay that love? How do we give love, and charity to those we know are in need? It’s a proven fact that less selfish people will prosper more, and when we give our love freely, without expecting something in return, you will find yourself far more happy, far more content in the world.

Malachi 3:11 “I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of your soil, and your vine in the field shall not fail to bear, says the LORD of hosts.” We must have faith that God will be there for us, and in return we give our best first to the Lord. We will be blessed when we use God’s blessings to be pleasing. No matter where we find our selves, whether it’s the TSA taking something that doesn’t belong to them ie: a computer charging cable, or a loss of a job, or even a death in the family, know that God is working on it all. We must be faithful with our gifts, and faithful in our troubles. Be ready for the day the battle knocks on your door because we cannot watch from the sidelines and think we’ll never be a target. I find that the attack comes when you least expect it. I knew this time however that after a great week of soul searching, of finding myself in God’s love and grace, that the Devil would be upset and angry. I knew that the attack was coming, and sure enough, it came. In fact it came right in the middle of me writing this particular post. I was blind sided by someone, and I took a step back, I removed myself from my surroundings, I re-centered, and even though it hurt, I didn’t let it destroy my day. I can’t say much for my younger self, but to me this shows growth. I have come to see myself as more then I was. I have come to see that I am God’s faithful archer. I am God’s Al-Sahim (The Arrow).

 

 

The Uneven Path

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The Uneven Path

A journey walked with the Lord may not be a smooth path, but often in life it’s the uneven path that leads to the most reward. We can see this in nature also. Recently I was in South Carolina and on a hike, once off the beaten path I found myself climbing a cliff to get to the middle of the top of a waterfall. It took strength, faith, and courage, but once on the top, despite the risk, it was worth it. To sit in the middle of a 75-foot or more waterfall was amazing. The serenity it brought was astonishing. Without taking the time to follow the uneven path, the wonders of what was hidden in the forest would not have been seen. Getting there wasn’t easy, but the beauty I saw with my own eyes was worth every struggle.

I’ve put a lot of thought in the paths of life. Many people choose to just go with the flow, but although it may be easier, and offer less in the way of pain, do we ever reach our true potential if we don’t push ourselves? Psalm 25:4-5 “4 Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. 5 Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.” The path we choose to take may often show God our true nature. Are we the type to make the right decision no matter who’s watching? Do we have a sense of dignity, or integrity? Integrity is “doing the right thing even when no one’s watching.” It’s not easy walking the path of righteousness, but God see’s not just our actions, but also the content of our heart. The path of Christ is a difficult one. The trials that come to those who are followers of our Lord and Savior can often be crushing. If we are saved however, the worst they can do is break us down. While we aren’t perfect, and we feel, the life we live will have it’s obstacles. The thing with the uneven path is the beauty that lies beyond the struggle. Nothing in this life is free, and often the biggest reward comes from the most effort.

Sometimes to get the chance to see the view you have to climb the rugged path. We never know our true capability until we challenge ourselves. We never know what we’re made of till we are pushed to our limit and then beyond. When we are put in a position to throw our comfort zone out the window, and face the bitter cold water, the rugged root path, the freezing cold rapids, we see what we’re made of. This last week I watched as my fellow veteran brothers as they were pushed to their limits, and then beyond. From a fear of heights, debilitating, and yet no matter what it was, everyone, every single person, pushed themselves beyond what they thought they could manage, and overcame their threshold. It was beautiful watching men rediscover their inner boyhood, and heal wounds long overdue.

Jeremiah 17:14 “Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.” In all things Christ can heal. In the will of God nothing is to big, nothing is to small. We praise our Lord and Savior and we follow Christ, the healing power of those waters can heal the wounds of our hearts. Being damaged is not the end of the road but the beginning of a new. In the morning you will wake up and you will feel the flame, and you will feel yourself on fire. The Holy Spirit can move you, heal you, and shape you. The hurt from our rugged path can feel crushing, but as we forge steel, the fire burns away the impurities, and what’s left is a sword of righteousness. Let that path shape you, let it move you beyond the norm, and find yourself among the hidden beauty in the woods. God’s waiting for you, and the day your path leads you to that clearing, and you see the fire, grab on tight, and don’t loose hope, don’t loose faith, let it burn away all the things you aren’t. Find your path to Christ and get up and move. Your path can lead you to wide wonders, or disaster. We have so many choices in our life, every thought, to feeling, to action, what do we choose to do with our time? When we spend our days struggling to make sense of what’s wrong on the inside, are we making a choice to sit in our sorrow, or are we lost in it? I think it’s a little of both. In our walk, especially mine with PTSD, some days the best I can achieve is getting out of bed and opening my eyes. Other days I’m on fire for the Lord and I go out and preach my heart out. It’s a roller coaster for sure, but every day we have is a gift. We are more today then we were yesterday. Every day our brain is filled with the food we put in to it. We can fill our brain with positive thoughts that grow us, thoughts that make us better, or, we can fuel our mind with doubt, anger, hate, and sorrow. Making the change isn’t easy, but it can be done. See when we are trying to change the way we think, when we are trying to change the fundamentals of our thoughts, it’s an uneven, rocky path.

Here’s the thing we all need to remember, Christ washed away the worst parts of our journey for us. The blood of Christ spilt turned the impassible gorge of hellfire and brimstone, to a bridge of light. We have hope now in our walk, and though there will be obstacles to challenge us along the way, there’s nothing we can’t overcome. We may have to take the path less traveled, but as long as we keep our Azimuth north, and we check and recheck our path, we will one day reach the bridge of light. Sure we’ll have some small cliffs, maybe some wild animals to contend with, but no matter what we face, we know that the Lord of all creation is with us. We know that God can do wonderful things because of how many points we can turn to in scripture. Jesus calms the storm, or Jesus turning water into aged wine. We must have faith in our walk and know that in our time of need, our prayers will be heard. Matthew 17:20 “He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” No matter the difficulty we face, tomorrow is a new day. If we can just get through the day, sometimes even the moment, the next one will come. Life can be hard, and sometimes people question this life we live. Life is always, always worth living. We never know what this journey has to offer, and although the journey may be strong some days, the beauty that awaits us later is worth every ounce of pain today. Have hope and look to tomorrow. Trust in the Lord that he is with you, near you, helping you and guiding you. We must learn to remove ourselves from the voice in the wind that lies to us. The Devil will try many different ways to break you down, but you must remain strong, keep the faith, and focus on the goals.

Recently I found myself in a situation I was very uncomfortable. I was freezing, and wet. I couldn’t feel my toes, and my hands felt like they where stuck in a particular position, but in my head, I forced the negative feelings out, and I kept focusing on the task at hand. I focused on my brothers in my raft, and keeping them on task, motivated. I reassured, and led from the front. Each one of my brothers struggled in different ways, and despite our hurt, we came together and accomplished our task. It’s amazing how no matter where you find yourself, your brain has the ability to compensate and get you through. Face your fears, and face your inner demons. Find your purpose by searching God’s word, and God’s grace. You are perfectly made by our Father, and you have been given gifts to use for the Glory of our King. Don’t be scared of the journey, instead be afraid of what you might miss if you don’t take it. There is so much beauty in this world, and we need to be willing to take the chance to see it. We can’t foresee what tomorrow may bring, but we can’t allow the unknown to scare us away from greatness. We only get to live this life once, and the worst life can do is end, if that happens we know if Jesus is our rock, our center, the end for this life is just the beginning of a better one after. Paradise awaits us for those willing to take the uneven path.