Tag: Bad Behavior

The Big Picture

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The Big Picture

Lately I have been feeling a little down about myself. I say that like it’s something new, but the truth is I’ve always had some self-esteem issues. The thing is though, lately it seems I just can’t seem to gain any traction. With everything going on it’s been such a challenge to find what I’ve been looking for. In this day in time it’s crazy to think people are still lonely, and that a world so connected through a thousand different ways, and yet people still struggle to make that sought after relationship with people. Why is it that in a world with billions of people, and the ability to reach anyone in mere seconds, people are still unable to make a connection?

I feel one of the biggest things we do as people is to forget about others. We’ve become so focused on self, that we forget the people on the other side of the keyboard are people. It’s so easy to dismiss someone, not read the tone of a message the way it was intended, or sadly just base your entire search on looks and looks alone. There’s no human connection anymore, and most it seems no longer make an emotional connection. To say people are fickle doesn’t seem to be a strong enough word. The world has become a cold place and I think it’s time we change that.

Since the advent of the cell phone and the SMS (text message) we’ve seen a steady change in the way we communicate. The text message led into social media, Myspace, then Facebook. Eventually the online messenger service faded away and Facebook was all that was left. I remember as a teenager being on the phone for hours. I was able to pick up the phone and call any number of friends and they’d answer, we would talk, and we actually had things to talk about. Today however it seems as if finding conversation is a lost art. People don’t talk on the phone hardly anymore, and now we are to busy to respond back to messages on Facebook. It really drives me nuts when people have their phones set to show when the message is read, or on Facebook when you can see your message has been seen, yet, hours, days, weeks goes by and no response. What’s happened to this world when we see someone taking the time to reach out, and we no longer have any emotional attachment to that friend? I think the reason is actually part of a bigger picture. If I were the Devil, I’d want to drive a wedge in people. If I were the Devil I’d slowly make people more and more selfish by placing a wedge between them. If I were the Devil I’d kill off communication, destroy homes with meaningless online flings, and for those who are lonely, make it even harder for them to meet anyone in real life. If I were the Devil I would thrive in the shadows and use the facelessness of the internet to increase the amount of depression, and self-esteem issues. A place where someone can hide from life and in essence have a separate life in digital form.

As time has passed in my life I have found people are becoming less concerned with how their actions affect someone else. I’ve found people quickly and easily cut ties with others, say hurtful things to one another, and are so quick to judge, it’s easy to do now that you don’t have to see the hurt on someone’s face when you do it. I think that’s one of the biggest down sides to all the faceless communication, is the lack of accountability. You can say anything and hurt someone’s feelings, rip out their heart, but you never have to see it, or hear from them again. The Devil is literally creating a divide in our society. We are easier to be picked off when we are alone. When I look at the national suicide rate in this country it sickens me. When I look at the number of veterans that commit suicide every day, I can’t help but have to pick my heart up off the floor. The Devil can drive a wedge in our lives, separate us from those whom we’re supposed to be closest to, we’re like a gazelle being chased by a cheetah.

I think in order to really affect change we need to rethink how we interact with others. I think we need to reconnect with the human race and instead of staring at the phone, put it to your ear and communicate using that little thing called a mouth. I think we need to get back to feeling empathy for those in suffering, joy for those who are happy, and actually having friendships. I think the term friend is used far too loosely these days, and so is the word love. We no longer remember that love isn’t just an emotion; it’s something we are supposed to do. It’s something that takes effort, and time, and control, yet once we get passed the butterflies and the warm fuzzies, we are reduced to looking for the next high. I think people have become so self orientated, so consumed with gratification, that the long game is no longer relevant. People no longer communicate to learn, or to grow, it’s now ‘how can I be entertained?’ These issues are a systemic problem that has really cropped up in the last 15 years. Sadly as this problem has grown there are casualties.

I think we needed to get back to a place where we are more able to communicate with those we interact with. Social media can be a great tool when used the way it was originally designed. but when we remove the original purpose (to connect with those whom we have lost touch with) we lose sight of why we were there to begin with. When we read something we enjoy, or even something we don’t we should offer some kind of thoughtful words. We should say hello to people, and attempt to get to know them. We should allow our natural curiosity to teach us about other people. When we live our lives in silence, and we don’t engage with others with whom we meet, we are not fulfilling our roll as Christians. We are told to celebrate in Christ together, to fellowships, and to love our neighbors. We are told to bare one another’s burdens, and lift up with the tongue not to tear down. Silence can be just as damaging as negative words. Go forward and think about the people in your lives. Have you kept in touch like you should, have you been there for them when they need it the most, or have you been a fare weather friend? It’s never too late to mend bridges and it’s never to late to avoid calamity. We all have the ability to change lives if we just move beyond our own thumbs, our own stress, and see that maybe there is time to open up more. When I was working full time I was also in school full time, and a full time husband. I always found time to message my friends, check in to see how things were going. It’s all about what’s important to you, and who. We never know in our lives when things may go sour and when they do, we all need people in our lives who will be there to help us through. If you’re not there for your friend when they need you, do you believe they will be there for you? One thing is certain, we all could use a little more love in our hearts.

Letting Go

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Letting Go

Life isn’t always the way we have planned. Sometimes things happen and it hurts us. Friends leave or hurt our feelings, loved ones abandon us, someone insults us, all number of things can do damage to our sometimes-sensitive psyches. The thing is, pain is all part of life. When it happens it isn’t fun at all, and it can leave a lasting mark on our hearts. It can turn to scars and those scars if not careful can harden your heart. We need to remember that for every ounce of pain we endure, there may be something greater coming in the future we are being prepared for. “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. “You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” – C.S. Lewis. 1 Peter 5:10 “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” Suffering happens to everyone, but as a Christian we expect to endure great hardships. 1 Peter 4:12-13 “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.” Being a Christian isn’t always easy. It often takes great strength and fortitude to manage the trials day in and day out. People can be callused in their heart and they may say and do things that hurt and cut us deeply. We must know this and find ways to manage, and see this from a different perspective. Isaiah 48:10 “Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.”

Set your eyes to the lord

 When we are down and stressed, when we are joyful and blissful, we should always look to the Lord. When our eyes are set on the Lord our lives are closer to being on the right path. Proverbs 4:25-27 “Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee. Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.” We must look, but we must see beyond the surface. We must have faith and trust that our trials come with a purpose. When hardships happen are we taking them to the Lord? Colossians 3:2 “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.” The only true ways out of the fire is the Lord. When we realize we need the Lord we are one step closer to a healthy relationship with our Father.

Looking forward not back

We must have the strength to take our steps forward. We must always move forward and never go backwards. The horizon isn’t some place to ponder; it’s a place to venture towards. As the days begin with the rising sun remember that every day is a painting. Every day is a new fresh canvas for the Lord to paint our lives. Like a drop in the water, the ripples of our life from the smallest things could always move us into position for great things. Isaiah 43:18 “Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.” All things happen for a reason and in those reasons we must have faith. We will be strengthened by our pain, and like a sword in the forged, it takes time, it takes fire, it takes the hammer, and the anvil to shape the beautiful steel sword. When sharpened we can cut through the enemy because we were forged by the Holy Spirit. Philippians 3:13-14 “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” The prize for us is eternal salvation. We mustn’t allow our past to hold us back. We mustn’t get stuck in the pain and force ourselves to relive it daily. While it’s not easy to move past the pain, but if we use the pain, harness it’s raw power and effect, we can believe in our hearts it’s for a purposes. Job 17:9 “The righteous also shall hold on his way, and he that hath clean hands shall be stronger and stronger.” Kneel in prayer taking only a moment to physically stop moving, but allowing your spirit to fly and thrive in the light of the world. In the darkest of storms when we have the Holy Spirit inside us, we may be going through our own struggles, but as a Godly person remember you may be going through your own storms, and you may be looking for your own light in the darkness, but think about it this way, what if you’re someone else’s light in the darkness? What if how you manage your pain is the strength and inspiration someone else needs? 1 Corinthians 13:12 “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” The reflection we see may not always be what we expect, but as we continue to grow in our faith, that reflection will reveal more of our true image, the image that was created by God to be loved by God, and when we look in the mirror one day we will see God standing with us.

 Don’t Dwell on the past

We can’t get stuck, we must move forward, and if we ever do get caught worrying about our past, we must remember Matthew 6:27 “Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?” Worrying about yesterday, and focusing on what we did wrong, or what was done wrong to us doesn’t add a single moment to our life. Now I’m not saying don’t reflect, don’t review the past to make your tomorrow better but don’t worry about it, don’t forget to move past it. When we do that, when we finally figure out how to do an affective After Action Review, we can adjust and overcome, and make tomorrow a better day.

Giving your hurt to God

Every day we have choices to be made. We choose to get out of bed, we choose to go to the bathroom, to eat breakfast, to look at your phone, or to turn on the TV. We make choices about what to wear, where to go, to go to work, to stop at the gas station on the way, or wait till later. So in our every day choices, are we choosing to let God into our hearts? Are we choosing to be mad at someone for what they said to us? Are we choosing to forgive or not? Are we choosing to remain in the fire of our own making? Are we choosing to remain in our own prison? We need to learn to choose to give our pain our suffering, our struggles to God. We need to choose to let God into our hearts, and have the faith to let go of what we cannot control. When we learn to take the hands off the wheel and let God take over, we realize that we weren’t ever in control anyway. Loving God is a choice, and letting go of the pain inside is also a choice. It’s not one that’s easy, and it takes practice, and time, but in those it takes and requires effort. Facing our fears, and our pain is hard, and we need to handle that just like we walk to the refrigerator. It’s one step, one moment at a time, and before we know it we start to feel a little less pain, a little less grief. Philippians 4:6-7 “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” The pain may never go away but it won’t define us. The betrayal of close friends, loved ones, may always stay with us, but we can learn to trust again. We can learn to love again. People are fickle creatures, and can be motivated by a million different things in their own life. The pain we have can be the forging fire and we can become stronger if we grow, or if not heat-treated right a sword may become brittle. We don’t want to be the brittle steel broken at the first blow, we want to be strong and dependable. If every moment is more then you can take, and you have troubles and you need strength the one place to find refuge is Matthew 11:28-30 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Remember that the phrase “God will never give you more then you can take.” Is not scriptural at all. When you feel like you can’t take anymore the refuge you seek is Jesus Christ. God may not pull up on the rains to slow things down, but whatever you ‘need’ God will provide to you. You will always have the tools to get through the pain, and the suffering if you just look to God and pray for the help you need.

In every day life we will have friends come and go. We will have days of great joy, and days of great sorrow. It’s okay to not be okay, and it’s okay to just cry some days. Don’t get stuck in the misery, but remember God gave us our feelings for a reason and it’s important to remember some days you just need the sweet release of tears. Some days you need a good belly laugh, and in all these things beauty can be found. No matter what emotion you’re going through, you’re never alone. You may walk in the snow and see only one set of footprints, but that doesn’t mean Jesus is right there with you. The important thing is to find ways to handle those emotions. We cry to the Lord and even if we are crying the Lord is pleased because we are coming to our Savior, but sad that we are in pain. Forward always, and never backwards, because Jesus is always in front of us, hand extended to pull us through the day. Not for one moment in this life are we forsaken and forgotten.

 

 

 

 

 

 

His Cross

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His Cross

My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me? Have you ever felt abandoned by God? Have you ever felt as if you were all alone in this world trying to fight the fight every day but all the while loosing ground, loosing the battle? You aren’t alone in that feeling. You and I have fought hard to be where we are. We have lost loved ones, we’ve been knocked to the ground probably more then once. We’ve lost our jobs, our friends, maybe even a spouse, (or two in my case.) The thing is though, you’ve never been without God’s presence, and you’ve never been without God’s unyielding love. Let us start down this adventure together and I’ll show you how I know this to be true.

Psalm 22 “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?” This Psalm was written by King David and it clearly shows He’s having a hard time. He says all who come to him mock him, and that he is a worm and not a man, scorned, and mocked. All the while he is crying out to God to be near him, and expresses the deepest pains in his heart. He uses the word forsaken, which means a personal abandonment. God had not actually left David, he merely felt that He had. Later in scripture, we see these words used again. This however is only a small part of what this psalm really meant. This is what’s called a Messianic Psalm, describing the events of the crucifixion.

Matthew 27:46 “And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” In that moment the God above had separated from the man. This needed to happen to allow the blood on the cross to be spilt as an innocent life was freely sacrificed to be the ransom of all mankind’s sins. Matthew 20:28  “even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Jesus was explaining his purpose, the reason for him giving himself up as sacrifice. Jesus became the sacrificial lamb, to take on the sins of man from the past, the present and the future. He was the ransom paid for the sins that separated God from man. In MacArther it’s explained as this, ‘Abandonment of God separating the father and son as the outpouring of divine wrath on Christ as the Sin barer.’ We don’t truly understand what this means and how deep that sacrifice truly is. We don’t understand what exactly was at stake for mankind if a sacrifice wasn’t made for us. We sparsely understand the true meaning of Hell. We don’t understand that Hell is a place for eternal damnation and torment. Matthew 25:46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.” It’s also described in Revelation 21:8 “but the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters, and all liars-they will be cosigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.” Hell, is a place of pain, and a complete absence of God’s blessings. 2 Thessalonians 1:9 “They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from glory of his might.” This is a complete lack of grace, and hope and yet this is a place the Lord Christ traveled to after his death on the cross. 1 Peter 3:18-19 “For Christ also suffered[a] once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit,19 in which[b] he went and proclaimed[c] to the spirits in prison,” Jesus became the victor over death. Jesus bore the sins of man, and concurred the Devil’s temptations, and lies, and just to show the power of Christ over death did a victory lap in Hell, preaching to the souls that remained there.

Christ was a substitute for the wrath of God’s hatred of sin. We see this in 2 Corinthians 5:20-21 “20 We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21 God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” Jesus was without sin, but was treated as all the sin in the entire world. We often complain about our lives and how bad our situation is, but objectively we have to truly question if our lives are as bad as they seem. Even on the worst of days we are still promised to one day be rid of our tears, and because of Christ we have the hope of eternal peace when we finally go home. Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” We wouldn’t have this had it not been for Christ.

While Christ died for us on His cross, we are told to pick up our own and follow. Luke 9:23 “23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” We will have our own trials, our own struggles. In our troubles, our struggles, our heartbreaks, and hardships, we are told to turn to the Lord. We are trained from birth to trust, and somewhere along the way we stop. We should always remember to turn to the Lord in our good times and our bad. When we feel like we can’t take another step, when we can’t take another breath, remember to turn to the Lord and ask for strength. Psalm 23:1-4 “23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” In all things we will have our own burdens, but in those we are never alone. We are never forgotten, nor are we forsaken. God’s love is never ending, and unyielding. We can’t let the lies of the Devil pull us from the truth. The Devil wants us to blame God for our troubles. The Devil wants us to forget about the grace of God. The Devil tried to drive a wedge and plays on our sins, our desires, our flaws, in order to break the bond with our heavenly Father.

We owe Jesus everything for saving us. Without the blood of Christ we would be stuck in bondage. We would be doomed to die an empty death, and live a life with no hope at all. Life would be worthless and bare if there was no hope for what comes after death. Because the path was paved in blood for us, we no longer walk in darkness. Today, if we are in darkness, it’s darkness of our own doing. If we are to walk this life we should be walking with a purpose. We have so much to live for, so much to be thankful for, and with that thanks we have a reason to celebrate the Love of the Lord. We should be sharing the good news of our Savior who gave all for us. When we truly understand the sacrifice made, and the stakes that were on the table, we would look at life differently. We must be grateful, and in that we must study and know God. We must understand the meaning and the truth of the light and the glory that is God above. We have everything to look forward to, and hope for. Even in our darkest of hours, we can only loose our lives. We never loose our salvation, and that’s worth more then all the money and gold in the world, or other worldly possessions.

 

 

 

 

 

To Boldly Go

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To Boldly Go

“Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before.” ST: TNG

 Those are words I grew up knowing, repeating, and aspiring too. Growing up I watched Trek every week. I grew to love Star Trek the next generation and I clung to Jean-Luke Picards character. As I grew and watched as his character develop I found drawn to his style of diplomacy, his leadership, his morals, and his desire to see the betterment of mankind. He was driven by the thought that all mankind should be driven to better themselves, and everyone should be given a chance to reach their full potential. On numerous occasions he took in those who made mistakes and he offered them a chance of redemption. For me Picard was a roll model I strived to be like. For me Picard was a father figure that I wanted to be like.

In our every day walk with Christ are we looking to our heavenly father as our roll model? Do we act boldly in our walk with Christ? Do we strive to be better Christians? With our every day walk we should always strive to boldly go, to explore our Christianity, to seek out those in need of Jesus light. We must always go out with the explorers’ heart. We must always seek ways to share the gospel with those whom we come into contact with. Matthew 28:18-20 18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Are you living the great commission? Are you walking with Christ as a close personal friend? Are you spreading the joy and the love of Jesus Christ? I think we get caught up in our every day routine that we forget the most important aspect of being a Christian. It’s not just praying, and going to church. It’s not about the Christmas services, and the monthly meals at church. It’s about the Holy Spirit moving in your heart, pushing you to spread the word because of how it’s changed your life. When you live your life as a Christian are you doing it on the sidelines, saying the prayers, doing the walk, but just getting by? Are you inspired by the Holy Spirit to share the Living God, the Waters that wash away your sins daily? Are you excited to talk about God because of the wonderful things He’s done for you, or are you silent, reserved, held back? Let me tell you, if you aren’t talking about it, if you aren’t crying in the car listening to K-Love, or other Christian music stations, why isn’t the Holy Spirit moving in you?

I watched a trailer for a movie called “I can only imagine.” I cried just during the trailer. My best friend sang this not long before he died. (18 years old) When I listen to the words of the world phenomenon, I ask myself the same questions. See, I had a short glimpse of what awaits me. I didn’t see anything, but what I heard would forever change my life. As I was in an ambulance dying, bleeding out, I heard the voice of God, and the aww, and fear, and shame I had being in that situation rocked me to my very core. I heard the voice of my creator, and I felt the presence of something much bigger then myself. I found that I wouldn’t ever do enough to be worthy of God’s love, God’s grace, God’s forgiveness, but in the presence of God I was given a second chance. I was told two words that would forever alter my life, “You’re forgiven.” Since then I have found a zest for life, and not a day goes by I don’t talk about how great God is. See, I did something that was almost unforgivable, but God saved me for a purpose. I can hear the words of my best friend in my head. The thing is I don’t have to imagine anymore. While it was only a short glimpse and only by sound, I know if the wonders of what I heard is only just part of it, I know that Heaven is real and perfect.

I can only Imagine, By: MercyMe

 I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk, by your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When you face is before me
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

Surrounded by You glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus
Or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in your presence
Or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah
Will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine when that day comes
When I find myself standing in the Son
I can only imagine when all I would do is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for You, Jesus
Or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence
Or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah
Will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine hey ya ah

Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for You, Jesus
Or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in Your presence
Or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah
Will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine hey ya ah

 If you’ve been touched by the Holy Spirit don’t imagine what it would be like alone, share the good news with any and all who would listen. Go out boldly and preach and teach the word of God. Don’t sit on the sidelines, when you get to Heaven don’t you want your brothers and sisters with you in paradise? The presence of God would be indescribable. The words above are so powerful, they often move me to tears. For me I had just a glimpse, but if that changed my life forever, I can only imagine what it would be like when I’m there. I often think of my friend John sitting with Jesus and I can say I’m often envious and sad at the same time. Remembering him I often cry at both my own sorrows, but also the great gifts that God has seen to bestow upon me. When I think of the great commission I cannot help but think of the opening to Star Trek: TNG. I wish to go Bodly to places I’ve never been, to reach out and meet new people, spreading the Gospel, and the good news of Jesus Christ. The light of the world shines so bright, and we have already forgotten the meaning of CHRISTmas in our lives. With every breath we take we ought to be thankful for it. With every day’s dawning of light we have a new chance to walk more closely to Christ. Be a beacon of hope, of light, and go forth and make disciples of the flowing waters that is Jesus Christ. With every breath you take say Hallelujah. Christ came for you and me, to die for us. The sins that forced the nails through the Lambs hands and feet, and the blood of the Savior ran down from the crown of thorns we placed upon his head. A sacrifice made to break the bonds of sin, reconnecting us to God, and how do we treat that sacrifice? As Christians we should be ashamed of ourselves. We have allowed the darkness to spread while we’ve remained silent. We’ve let it into our homes, our lives, our country, our cities, and we’ve sat by and done very little to fight back. In the words of Picard, “We’ve made too many compromises already, too many retreats. They invade our space, and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds, and we fall back. Not again! The line must be drawn here! This far, no further!” While I realize he’s talking about the Borg, we’ve allowed the Devil to invade every aspect of our lives, and we have done nothing to fight back. I agree, the line must be drawn here, this far, no further.

 

 

 

It’s All About The Favor

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It’s All About The Favor

David, the King, the slayer of giants, the one who united Israel, and the man who was called, “A man after God’s own heart.” Wasn’t always on the right side of the road with God. We’re going to look at the road away from God and how to get back on track. David allows his Army to leave and fight the Ammonites. David would send Joab to lead the army while David stayed home, and so the path with God began to depart. In this departure from God we see Lust, Rape, Conspiracy, Murder, cover-ups, and ending with a daring public shaming of the King. This will cover 2 Samuel 11 – 2 Samuel 12. These chapters cover best guess around 3 years.

David’s Army is away and one night David is on the balcony of his palace. He looks over and sees Bathsheba bathing. This would have been a monthly ritual of cleansing for a women, but instead of seeing and moving away, David became infatuated with lustful thoughts. Despite having multiple wives, and several mistresses he would lure Bathsheba into his bed chambers. She was a married woman to Uriah, a loyal member of Davids counsel. Let me start by saying she was in no way to blame for this. When the King calls you can’t exactly say no. David took her into his bed, and impregnated her. In the months to come she would find herself pregnant and in those days the women was put to death for adultery. David would go from adulterer to hiding his shame and plotting to kill the husband of the women he took. Uriah a close friend and ally to the throne, was now an obstacle to overcome. Uriah would know that his wife wasn’t faithful. She would die, and the world would know of David’s adultery.

David would try to get Uriah drunk and send him home to be with his wife to cover David’s Sin. Uriah even drunk would have more honor then David. When David’s plans to make the pregnancy look like Uriah’s, he decided to move to a more sinister plot. David would send Uriah to a part of the battle he would certainly die. The plan to commit murder worked as planned. All the while the conspiracy grew and got out of hand. One sin led to another, and deeper down the rabbit hole it got. That’s what sin is; it’s a domino effect. When people say ‘I’m not hurting anyone.’ Or ‘It’s my life and I’ll do what I want.’ These kinds of things always hurt people around you. Sin really does affect everyone around us.

When we get into a habit of sinning freely there’s no limit to what you can justify. The rabbit hole can be addictive and once you’re in the hole you may not know how to get out. The pain you will cause, the hurt, the lies, the total destruction sin can bring, doesn’t mean there is no hope for you. Gods love is bigger then that. Gods love is limitless, and forgiveness is but a request away. When you feel you’ve gone to far to ever be forgiven you’re wrong.

One Step Away, By: Casting Crowns

 What if you could go back and relive one day of your life all over again
And unmake the mistake that left you a million miles away
From the you, you once knew
Now yesterday’s shame keeps saying that you’ll never get back on track
But what if I told you

You’re one step away from surrender
One step away from coming home, coming home
One step from arms wide open
His love has never let you go
You’re not alone
You’re one step away

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve gone
Mercy says you don’t have to keep running down the road you’re on
Love’s never met a lost cause
Your shame, lay it down
Leave your ghosts in the past ‘cause you know that you can’t go back
But you can turn around
You’ve never been more than…..

 Lay down, lay down your old chains
Come now, and take up your new name
Your best life up ahead now
You’re one step away

So come on home, come on home
One step from arms wide open
His love has never let you go
You’re not alone (you’re not alone)
You’re one step away

 

When you’ve gone so far and you don’t think you can turn around, think again. When you feel like you just can’t carry the world on your shoulders any longer, let me help. When you don’t think you can take one more step let me guide you. Let me wipe away your tears, and show you comfort and the real meaning of joy and love and faith. Jesus says this to you every day. Jesus promised to never leave or forsake you. Jesus is the beacon of hope we need in our lives every day. No matter how far we’ve traveled it doesn’t matter. The lighthouse is always on in the storm guiding you home. The storm will pound you, push you, and make you feel like you’re drowning.

You are more then the sum of your sins. You have a chance to make your life more, and be better. When we let God into our hearts, we truly see the light that we’ve run from for so long. The storm can be so loud in our ears we can’t hear the whispers of love that’s always there. Your heart may be heavy, and hurt, but in the darkest of nights, the light remains, providing guidance and hope.

No matter how far down the rabbit hole you’ve gone, God will lift you out. King David fell down that rabbit hole and did some very awful things. David would regain God’s favor, but favor doesn’t mean there won’t be retribution for acts done. “The bill comes due… Always..” (Dr. Strange) When we sin we are forgiven for them when we seek it in our hearts. When we sin we should always try to repent, which is trying to do the right thing for the person we sinned against. We must respect the natural order of things, and understand that just because we are forgiven doesn’t mean there isn’t a cause and effect. When we sin and we seek forgiveness the slate may be wiped clean, but there is still damage done and it takes time to repair that damage. Righting our wrongs takes time, and we must understand that we have to try and fix what we’ve done. We must apologize to those we’ve hurt. We must try and make amends, and do whatever we can to clean the ship.

I see sinning like this, we are on a ship and when we are actively sinning that’s like water freely coming on board. While we are in active sin we don’t realize that the ships sinking. When you finally come to realize you’re sinking that’s coming to Jesus and asking for forgiveness. In that you are given the tools to fix you. You’re given the hope. The bucket is handed to you, and you’re told, okay, sins are forgiven, now get to work. You allowed your ship to be consumed in water, now you have to work to get the water out of your boat. You have to work to make the situation you’ve gotten yourself into right. This isn’t to get you into Heaven; it’s to make amends to those around you. It’s to repair the damage in your relationships of your bothers and sisters around you. So if you’re in a sinking ship, and you realize now you’re sinking you need to seek Jesus. If you want that bucket to help get you out of troubles, you know where to look. For there is a season for everything, and in those seasons we will always reap what we sew. When you are on the right path, and you’re working to get the water out of your own boat, if we lay down our burdens and truly in our heart realize the error of our ways, brothers and sisters may help getting the water out of your boat. This isn’t a freebie, it’s work and laying down the groundwork, think of it like an investment into your eternal soul.

Jesus is the one true light, the light of the world, and on through Jesus is a way to heaven. Nothing is holding you back except for you. Nothing is in your way, and it’s never too late to turn around from the path you’re on. You can walk the better path, the brighter path, just need to do one thing first. Give up yourself, and surrender to the King of all Kings. Our God is healer and the living waters of salvation. Our God is the truth and the way.

 

 

 

Two Faced

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Two Faced

Some people hide away feelings, by burying them deep down. Some people run from their feelings. Other people live their life embracing their duality. They are kind to you to your face, and lie behind your back to anyone who will listen. I’ve seen this many times in my life but particularly meeting people online. Many people will talk to you like nothing’s wrong. I’ve watched as people would talk to me and smile, and seem interested, but quietly block me ending all conversations. I’ve also seen people tell me one thing, lie to my face, and go behind my back and break long standing trust. Sadly this is something that seems to be growing in popularity as time goes on. The Bible speaks on duel minded people. Psalm 28:3 “Draw me not away with the wicked, and with the workers of iniquity, which speak peace to their neighbours, but mischief is in their hearts.”

 We who are unstable in our faith, who waiver in our foundation of Christ, are easy moved. James 1:6“But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.” It’s hard being the ones on the receiving end. It’s hard being lied to, and figuring out who’s being true. James 1:8 “being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” People who live lives as hypocrites isn’t a new thing. It goes back all the way to biblical days and likely prior to that. Matthew 23:24 “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.”

In my life the pain that’s been caused from those who have chosen to live this life is difficult, but what’s worse is when it’s someone whose sworn a vow to be with you. Someone who’s promised their life to you, and has chosen to be an adulteress instead. James 4:4 “You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” All we can do is pray for them and try to mend a broken heart, and broken trust. We are all human, and we all fall pray to the Devils lies and false promises. The Devil wants us to fail so when temptation is offered sometimes it’s hard to resist. If there’s a chink in the armor the Devil will find a way in. He’s always testing the waters, always testing the boundaries, always looking for some weak point to exploit. People are flawed, and people make mistakes. Be sure when they do you open your arms in forgiveness. Just because someone falls pray to the Devils lies today, doesn’t mean it won’t be you tomorrow.

We will always find people who do this. It’s common in high school and middle school, but you would hope as you grow out of that adolescent time period that truth and honesty would be important. When we find ourselves face to face with someone who lies behind our back, or has a duel behavior, all we can do is pray. We must learn to make safe boundaries for those people. We don’t want to abandon our brothers and sisters in Christ, but we don’t want to set ourselves up for pain either. Do not be unequally yoked with the people you are close to. People who are in a marriage with should not be unequal in their beliefs.

While I am a firm believer in giving people more then one chance to make up for wrong doing, I have found in my own life I often give way to many chances. I have put myself in positions where I am hurt over and over because I am not careful with the trust I give to someone. I have let people back into my life after they have said and done very awful things to me. I have watched as my life has been destroyed by people I care for and have let me back into my life, only to watch them do more damage later on. We must remember to protect ourselves from harmful people. You have to keep yourself safe and therefore strong. We must not allow the wolves inside the walls. Wolves are cunning and when hunting they will test the boundaries to try and find a way inside. They thrive on that behavior. All we can do is hope one day they see the error and cruelty of their ways, but until then pray and hope God enters their heart.

 

Melting Away

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Melting Away

Have you ever looked at the snow when the weather changes? Watching as the small piles shrink down, melting away to just a small puddle of water, I find a similar connection to what happens in the heart as well. When we describe someone who shows a lack of emotions we often call them cold. Someone who’s uncaring demeanor gives chill and a cold stare that seems to go right through you. Why are some people so cold, so uncaring?

When people are hurt and undergo deep traumas it’s very common for people to retreat within themselves and shut people out. The heart freezes over and people think it’s better never to depend on someone again. Closing people out and walking away from a life built is always a result of some form of external attack and when we feel pain it’s easy to recoil. I’ve seen this happen to the people I’ve loved. I’ve been the victim of the closing of a heart, the deep freeze that left me removed and broken myself.

While my heart isn’t icy, it is broken. The fractured pieces of what’s left hanging on by threads. The destruction of my life left me wondering so much about myself. What had I done to deserve this? Was this my fault? Could I have done anything differently? Why had I been forsaken? Did I do something to anger God to deserve this punishment? There was fear that flooded over me making me wonder if I’d ever be happy again. There deep in my heart a virus took hold, it invaded and took up camp, the virus of lies by the Devil. I began to question everything and everyone wondering if I could ever trust again. What had been done to me would leave a break deep down and it didn’t seem like there was enough glue to put it back together.

It’s been 481 days since my world fell apart. In that time I’ve begun to care about others, and I’ve seen glimmers of hope that the future, my future, could actually have a bright sunrise over it. With each hopeful day, I’ve watched them disintegrate in front of me. It’s hard not to let my heart freeze over. I am to much of a hopeless romantic, and I believe in love so deeply that I keep the hope and faith in my heart. Sadly this isn’t the case for other people and they remain frozen. I’ve seen my fair share of those who live their lives with the cold chill deep inside and all I’ve been able to do for them is pray. Praying is often the only thing you can do for people who suffer. Show them you love them, be there for them and show them the warmth of that love. Be the warm hug for them, the rays of sun that maybe one day will be strong enough to melt away the frozen heart.

True love is the only thing that can melt a frozen heart. True love doesn’t come from a person thought it comes from the Lord above. God so loved the world He gave his only Begotten Son, to be born, to live, to love, and then love so much to sacrifice himself to the world of man. The blood spilt would break the chains and fix the broken bond between God and man. The love of God is strong and can heal any wound. The relationship with God however is a door, and if you want to feel the warmth that love has to offer you have to offer God to enter your heart. God will knock and will never step off that porch, but it’s up to you to de-thaw the locks and open that door, allowing God to enter your heart. The change will be in an instant once you do. The old self will burn away leaving the new you. When you allow God into your heart and it thaws you open yourself up to allow yourself to love others more deeply then you ever thought you could. Letting God in is a choice and there is no risk, only reward.

Letting yourself be open to others there is a risk. When you go to the grocery store and you are picking vegetables you don’t usually take home the first one you picked up. Not every vegetable is right for you. People aren’t made the same, and while we are all unique individuals, some people will not be a good fit for you. Sometimes you may feel more for the other person then they do you, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t someone else out there for you. Sometimes, like myself, you will be hurt from the people you loved most in this world. All you can do is lick your wounds for a while and get back out there. God wants his children to be happy, and for every heartbreak, every tear we shed, God suffers right along with us. We must not let the Devil win for our icy heart is exactly what he wants. Satan wants us to close out God, close out our brothers and sisters in the blood of Christ. Satan wants that divide to expand and let the ice spread forcing out everything we once found joy in. We can’t allow the Devil to win that war. We must take back our destiny and let God thaw the frozen tundra inside ourselves. Let the snow and ice melt revealing a big red heart that still beats. Let the world see the joy within your heart, and the love you have to give. Bless someone’s life by loving them, and allowing someone to love you. You may feel alone right now, but take chances and eventually you’ll find your vegetable.

Beware the frozen heart and don’t let pain be the reason your heart freezes over. Don’t allow anything to freeze your heart. Everyone out there has so much to offer and while pain is a part of life, you can’t let it ruin the wonders God might have planned for you. Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

 I’m reminded of a song that both seems somewhat accurate and gives me a smile even though when you think about it, it’s actually pretty sad. Often times I think these things about my two loving dogs. I have found my dogs don’t hurt me. They always make me feel loved. Sometimes I feel dogs might be better then people.

Raindeers are better then people : Frozen

Reindeers are better than people
Sven, don’t you think that’s true?
Yeah, people will beat you and curse you and cheat you
Every one of em’s bad, except you

Even though we live in a fallen world, and Sin is a plague upon the land, there are still good people out there. They may not always be easy to find, and sometimes even the good people will let you down, and sometimes those good people will hurt you. The point is, you can’t shut the world out just because you may get hurt. While catchy the song Let It Go is so wrong for so many reasons. Now don’t misunderstand, I love the song, but it talks about isolating yourself away from the world. One thing I will say is for all the pain you’ve suffered, and the heartbreak your going through, you at some point need to “Let it Go”. You can’t stay in the past, so you must let it go, and move forward. Rise to the new you, you can be. You can be a person full of life, and full of love. You can bring joy to yourself, and you can be a joy to others. You don’t have to be the perfect you, just be the you that God would be proud of.

The last thing you need to do is isolate yourself. Stay away from closing yourself off, and retreating inside yourself. While we all need times of reflection, and quiet time with ourselves and with God, to much time is unhealthy. It’s okay to share your frustrations, your anger, your pain, in fact you don’t want to keep those things in. When you take some time and really reflect, it’s likely you will notice that the problems of yesterday don’t seem so big. Find yourself peace, but allowing God to be in charge of the steering wheel. Put the controls to defrost, and watch as your icy interior is melted away. God can do anything if we just let Him in.

 

The Woodshed

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The Woodshed

Have you ever felt the world just took you behind the woodshed for the worst beating of your life? Have you felt like you’ve been the farthest down you could be and everywhere you looked was destruction and chaos? Let me tell you there’s hope.

I’m no stranger to the prison of my own despair. I’ve been bonded to heartbreak and I never felt like I would be whole again. If you really want to be free of the pain of old, the cracks in your armor that let the feelings of negativity, doubt, and helplessness seep through. I’ve felt broken down and beaten, and I have been broken more then a time or two. Jesus Christ is the one who can make all broken things new. Jesus Christ can rebuild you and use your pain for the purposes of good and grace. If you fall to your knees and let go of yourself, let yourself submit to the Lord, you will know all your sins are forgiven, and you will be reborn. You may have questions, and fear, but in the waters that come from Jesus Christ you will be washed clean of your past, and you will become a soldier for the Lord. Your pain will be your weapon for God. Your scars will be your testimony and you will be able to help save souls. Once you submit to the Lord you will never be the same. When you place all your hope in Christ, you will know and understand there’s a better way.

All My Hope, By: Crowder

 I’m no stranger to the prison

I’ve worn shackles and chains

But I’ve been freed and forgiven

And I’m not going back, I’ll never be the same

That’s why I sing

 All my hope is in Jesus

Thank God my yesterday’s gone

All my sins are forgiven

I’ve been washed by the blood

 There’s a kind of thing that just breaks a man

Break him down to his knees

God, I’ve been broken more than a time or two

Yes, Lord then He picked me up and showed me

What it means to be a man

 Colossians 3:8-10 “But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self[d] with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.”

Colossians 3:12-17 “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” We must learn to do these things regardless of the pain we hold. When we hold onto that pain it’s like a cancer for our souls. We must learn to learn from our pain, and let it go. Let it past as dust in the wind and focus on how we can use that for the betterment of our lives.

God will use the broken things in your life and for the Glory you will follow because you are asked to. Jesus so loved those who were broken, and he would use them to spread the gospel. You only need to submit to the Lord and you will be made new. You want hope look to those that God used in the Bible. Look at all those who were broken, and hurting, and suffering, and in all things, God was able to use them because of that pain to reach others. I myself am a broken man. I’ve been targeted time and time again, yet here I stand, speaking for, and preaching for God. This life is but a speck of dust in the greatness of time. But in that speck of time you are so loved by God that when the dust blows, you will have the chance to be remade new in forever.

If you’re lost and you are weary from the beatings of life, have hope and faith that it was not all for nothing.

Lift your head weary sinner, By: crowder

 Lift your head weary sinner, the river’s just ahead
Down the path of forgiveness, salvation’s waiting there
You built a mighty fortress 10, 000 burdens high
Love is here to lift you up, here to lift you high

If you’re lost and wandering
Come stumbling in like a prodigal child
See the walls start crumbling
Let the gates of glory open wide

All who’ve strayed and walked away, unspeakable things you’ve done
Fix your eyes on the mountain, let the past be dead and gone
Come all saints and sinners, you can’t outrun God
Whatever you’ve done can’t overcome the power of the blood

 When we mess up we expect the punishment to be equal to the mistake. We are sinners and when we sin we expect a measure of blowback. When we walk this life be sure to own up to your mistakes. I have often taken the blame for things I didn’t do. I have placed blame upon myself when things go wrong even if I didn’t do anything to cause it. For me it was easier to explain why something happened if I just placed myself on the chopping block. This isn’t healthy or needed. Let God be the one to judge. You may want to find answers and sometimes they may never come. If you’re going down to the woodshed be sure you deserve it.

God’s love for us is the only thing that truly matters. Whatever we do should be to glorify our Abba. Take your beatings and own up to your culpability, but don’t take on more then you should. The weight of the world isn’t for you to hold. Be kind to one another. Love one another and forgive one another. Bare one another’s burdens and trust in the Lord. In every situation God is working and we must learn to pray and have faith in not just the big things, but the small as well. The Devil will test you, the Devil will try to draw you away from Christ and steal your salvation by making you question it. The Devil wants you to fail, and sometimes the Devil will destroy everything you have to make you fall from the grace that’s been bestowed onto you. The grace from Jesus Christ was a gift for humanity and no one can take it from you, unless you give it to them. The Devil may take your worldly possessions from you, your career, your family, your friends, your home, but no matter what the Devil cannot take your salvation. How much of a beating can you take? The Devil will try every means of torture to break you. If you believe that Jesus is always with you, then you can withstand the torture from the Devil and never give in. When the beatings are over you will have your scars to prove it, but you are still wanted by our one and only heavenly father. Jesus healed the blind man, rose Lazarus from the dead, helped the lame walk, and overcame death Himself. So by the power of his Blood don’t loose hope, don’t loose sight, and don’t let the woodshed be where you loose your faith. Because our God Lives and is in everything, we will one day rise to paradise.

 

 

 

The Fog

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The Fog

Waking up from a fog unsure of where I’ve been for so long. The day rings in with sun and a new understand of how the world works. Learning the truth sometimes is hard and brutal. Tearing down the walls built up for so long, now realizing the cage I’ve been in. So my Lord give me your eyes for just one second. I’ve missed so much, and I’ve been hurting so long I allowed the pain to define me. The road is new and the path is fresh so forgive me when I stumble. Forgive me when I fall, but pick me up when I’m weak and help me along the way. I have faith and I know I can’t stay in that prison any longer. It’s time to move on, move forward, and let go of the past. The future isn’t beyond my reach if you are in my heart. Together today, always together and I know I can make it after all.

It can be hard living with pain every day. Physical pain is hard enough to manage, but when you add emotional on top if it, it can be debilitating. Pain is something that is different for everyone. Everyone by the time they reach adulthood has found ways to manage their pain in their own special way. This isn’t saying it’s in healthy productive ways, but that’s why this is so important. When we live our lives running from our pain, never finding ways to face it and understand it, it can be fester inside of us, and when left unchecked it can cause damage to other areas of our lives.

When pain takes rout inside our heart we may forget how to love in a healthy way. We may look for love in the wrong places, either in the bottom of a bottle ie. Alcohol or pills. We may look for love in the way of meaningless sex, or gambling, or even stuff like extreme sports. The problem is pain affects the way in which we have relationships. Pain affects our ability to make Godly, rational, healthy decisions, and we often end up pushing away those who care for us most. Anything in our lives that reminds us our behavior is bad for us we get rid of because we are comfortable in our pain and we found ways that make us feel good. The problem is that feel good sensation isn’t real, and inside the pain is crushing. We see this a lot in addicts. People who become addicted to something unhealthy often display irrational mood swings. They will do whatever they can to stay in their addiction, even if it’s an addiction to a particular behavior. When we are faced with a question of conviction while running from our faith, we will lash out at those who want to help get us back on track. Eventually as the spiral downward continues, eventually rock bottom comes up quick, and splat onto the concrete.

We can only hope if we are the ones in the fog we allow the Holy Spirit to guide us, to help us heal. We need to pray for guidance, and forgiveness, and love. We should rely on God to show us how to escape the hell we are living in. Allow God to give us the means, the knowhow to be free of the pain we hold. Letting friends help, and getting guidance from a pastor or priest, allowing yourself to get into therapy and begin the healing process. We must learn to peal back the pain layer by layer till we find the route of the problem, and slowly face that pain till it no longer defines who we are. Don’t live in the fog anymore. Let God burn that fog away and reveal the clear skies ahead. When we let God in, the hope we needed all along will be right there waiting for us.

What I Gave Away

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What I Gave Away

All my life I wanted to be accepted by my friends. All my life I wanted to be liked by those around me. For whatever reason I have always had the need to fit in, I just never felt like I have. I spent the first part of my life being tortured in school being told I was ugly, that I looked like particular animals. I was laughed at for things that would happen to me, I was picked on for things that were traumatic in my home life, and no matter what I did I never found a way out. Eventually the teasing became physical. I was beat up after school, I was shoved around in school. I was given a swirley. My shoes were taken and thrown into urinals, and in the hallways my books where kicked around the hallways. When I liked a girl and people found out I was teased because she was so far out of my league everyone thought I was crazy. That’s when the mean tricks started. I was told that she actually thought I was cute and wanted to kiss me. Obviously they lied, and well, getting slapped across the face was a good clue I was lied to. Ever since then I have gone out of my way to get people to like me. Sadly, even as I got older and the place from which my actions came where honest and sincere, I would find that I was still not part of the ‘in’ crowd’. I would never truly be accepted, and I would find in time that I gave away parts of me that were my self esteem, my self worth, my heart, and my generosity would be taken advantage of time and time again. What I gave away was the best parts of me, just to all the wrong people.

To this day I haven’t quite found where I fit in. I feel like I’m a million miles from everyone in a crowded room. I feel like everyone’s moving all around me, talking to one another while I’m listening, watching, just entirely unsure of what to say. I never found how to interact with people. I never became someone anyone wanted to be around. I never found myself as accepted. I’ve always been a little different. I’ve always been a little nerdy. I’ve always been a little quirky, and sadly, it’s never gotten me anywhere. When I was in High School I often helped out as a counselor for my fellow classmates. I would give advice, and I would be an ear to listen, and in some cases I was a shoulder to cry on. Always a friend, never more, but on the rare occasion I was more, I wasn’t for long. I became the guy people would leave behind. When it came time to get married I never thought that I would be left behind again, but I was. I was cheated on, and lied to, and humiliated. I was displaced and forced to leave an entire country with nothing. I gave the best part of me and it was thrown away like used trash. Years later I would find myself loving another, and it seemed like that love was something special. After four years of marriage she would cheat, and again I was left wondering what I had done. I felt like I had given my everything and I felt as if I had been understanding, respectful, loving, caring, and yet it wasn’t good enough. I asked myself what I had done wrong? I blamed myself, and with all that anger, all that rage, I pointed it literally at myself. I poured every bit of blame into a tiny punch. The pain I felt was amplified by my anger at failure in my life. Every hurt I felt, every promise broken. Every loss I watched in front of me, death, and abandonment, all wrapped into the same moment. Years of abandonment, years of suffering, years of anger built up and at the center of it all I was the common denominator thus I was the one to blame. My value had been given to others to define. I allowed others to tell me if I was worth it or not. I gave away the very part of myself that is supposed to stay with you, knowing that you are a child of the one true King. You’ve been saved, changed and set free from bondage. Yet I would believe the lies I was told and I fell for the Devils schemes.

How do you come back from all of that? How do you change the years of behavior built into your personality? How do you rid yourself of years of heart, and conditioning? Sadly, I don’t have the answer for you. What I do have is a direction. You are a child of the Lord and the Lord doesn’t do anything by accident. You are not an accident. You are beautifully created for a purpose and we know that each of us has gifts, and a roll to play in the big picture. We all have our reason for being here and that we must trust in the big plan. We may experience the worst that humanity has to offer. We may undergo pain, and suffering on a regular basis, more then our fair share it seems, but perhaps we have suffered long for a reason. Maybe you can make the difference in a life.

Hard Love, By: Needtobreathe

Hold on tight a little longer
What don’t kill ya, makes ya stronger
Get back up, ’cause it’s a hard love
You can’t change without a fallout
It’s gon’ hurt, but don’t you slow down
Get back up, ’cause it’s a hard love

You know the situation can’t be right
And all you ever do is fight
But there’s a reason that the road is long
It takes some time to make your courage strong

 It’s not easy being an outcast, but at the foot of the cross we are all the same. When it comes to the cross the bullies who lived a cruel life will have to answer for that cruelty. We cannot let the world stain or harden our hearts. We must learn to give because we are pulled in our heart to do so. We must help because we want to. We must love live Christ loved. We must treat others fairly, and never loose sight of the love we were given that fateful day 2000 years ago. Christ sacrificed himself because of His love for us. We were never deserving of it, but we have it anyway. Those bullies in our lives don’t deserve it, but perhaps they are one step away from seeing the error of their ways and they turn around from the path they were on. We never know how our love and kindness will make an affect, and we must keep loving no matter how much it hurts. We can’t give up on this life. We cannot give up on our commandments, and once we realize that those who treated us that way cannot define who we are, then we may start to realize that power we gave away, we can actually take it back. For all those who’ve been bullied, and tortured, and beat up, and treated badly, you’re something special. You’ve endured hardships and yet you are still loving. Keep loving others, and keep giving, but more importantly, never stop loving yourself. Love others and help others because it’s the right thing to do. Do this knowing you will likely never get anything in return for it, and you may never see it come back to you, but we don’t love for the return, we love because it’s right. Stop giving away your value to others. Stop giving your happiness when others don’t deserve to have it. Psalm 146:3 “Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help.” Scripture is clear about putting our trust in people. Isaiah 2:22 “Stop regarding man in whose nostrils is breath, for of what account is he?” God is faithful and never lies, never breaks a promise, and forever bares the truth. Numbers 23:19 “God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” The words of a man do not make them true. The cruel things someone says, even someone who claimed to love you isn’t necessarily the truth, so don’t allow the falsehoods spoken through a wicked tongue define you. It’s easier said then done of course, I myself haven’t gotten the hang of it, but the truth is the truth. Have faith in the word, and the word shall set you free.